Subject: My favorite things
 

 Hey BartCop -

 I've been lurking about your page for quite a while, but have never felt a need to
 write until now. I gotta tell you, I felt your pain while you were on your vacation.
 Oh sure, I know you saw some beautiful country and spent some quality time with
 Mrs. BartCop, but weren't you just DYING to comment on Dubyuh's eventful week?

 While the "asshole factor" became the focus of the last few days, I had a
 couple of other favorite moments, both of which were quoted in the New York Times.
 Top of the pops:

 "A Republican strategist in Washington said that by spurning two of the
 three commission debates, which would be more structured, Mr. Bush was
 showing 'that he's concerned about filling the full two-minute answer' in a
 debate with formal time parameters. 'Larry will bail him out,' said the
 strategist, referring to Mr. King. 'Larry will keep it moving.'"

 I LOVE this!!!! So, Smirk's got two minutes of material, tops, and after
 that he needs Larry King to "bail him out"?!?!? Oh, this will be GREAT when
 Bush has to meet with Arafat and Barak! I can't wait to see him negotiating
 with the Japanese over the US military presence in Okinawa.
 
 And when he goes to meet with Putin, what's gonna happen when he runs out of
 steam while voicing US objections to the way the Russovars are treating the Chechniaks?
 Or explaining to Vladimir why he's throwing away decades of nuclear arms
 control to build Star Wars?

 Man, I hope CNN is willing to cut Larry loose to go along to Moscow with
 Shrub to "bail him out," or the good ol' USA is SCREWED!! After a minute
 and a half, I wager Putin pushes the button!

 Another priceless quote reagarding the debate debate (and again, from Smirk's own staff,
 via the New York Times): "Several of Mr. Bush's advisers said that while journalists were
 sure to deride Mr. Bush's decision, most voters would care only about the fact that Mr. Bush
 was debating and would find all the noise surrounding the negotiations to be meaningless.
 'We're not stupid. We've been looking at this,' said one adviser.
 'Nobody knows who the commission is.'"

 AH!! I see! We Americans are so FUCKING stupid that we won't be able to figure out
 the difference between a debate sponsored by the CPD and "Larry King Live."

 Good thing that the Smirk campaign folks can count on the RANK STUPIDITY of the
 average American, who hasn't got the brains to know when they are being buried in
 piles of chicken shit! If we were SMART, we might actually KNOW who the CPD is,
 and resent Shrub's show of bedwetting cowardice in the face of a prime-time faceoff with Al Gore.

 Al doesn't even need any help... Smirk's staff is writing all of the material for him.

 Ronnie had the balls to debate.
 George Bush Sr. had the balls to debate.
 Bob Dole had the balls to debate.
 Where the hell are Shrub's balls?

 What really makes me want to pay homage to the porcelain god is the polling
 which shows that MIDDLE-CLASS WHITE AMERICAN MALES think that Shrub is
 "manly," "a regular guy," and a "strong leader." It makes me wish I were a
 woman. Are the members of my gender really so goddam STUPID?!? The man has
 been wrapped in swaddling clothes from birth, protected from anything that
 might chafe his baby-soft skin (see his anaemic excuse for military
 service), coddled through numerous business failures, and delivered the
 presidency on a silver platter (replete with several lines of Peruvian).

 Yeah, he'd be "fun to have a beer with," because he would buy you a beer,
 give you some blow and get you a ho. But he knows NOTHING about real life,
 he has never led anything ANYWHERE (except maybe Texas into the toilet),
 and when it comes to manliness I can only judge by his debate dodging,
 which makes him a gelding in my mind.

 Whew! I'm tired! What fun it is to share.....