Things are changing faster than I can keep up.
The Boy King is stepping on our premier, but that won't stop us.
For instructions on how to hear the Weak & Stupid/BartCop Radio premier,
click here http://www.zecom.com/bartcop/
It's going to happen tonight.
The plan right now is to do Thursday nights, and see what happens.
We figure to go an hour (or till the calls stop, whichever is sooner) but we
could go longer if we're having a good time and someone has something to say.
It's mostly a verbal chat room, just to get started.
There's a lot we have to get straight before we hit the switch.
This message comes in two parts:
Let's do the nuts and bolts first:
First thing, go to http://www.zecom.com/bartcop/
Follow the instructions.
(For further instructions/clarifications, go to
the Chat & Post section of bartcop.com
I've asked Genslab to assist with instructions.)
Since we'll be streaming during Internet "prime
time", I'm certain we'll have problems with net congestion.
Streaming MP3, which is what we're doing is far more reliable than Real Audio, but congestion can and will happen.
The big advantage of streaming MP3 is the audio quality.
We will be streaming at a low bit rate so anyone with a 28.8 connection or higher can hear.
We'll start streaming music at least an hour or
so before the broadcast and depending on how long we go,
we will re-broadcast the show afterwards, unless it totally blows worse than we think. (See below)
Regarding archiving. Hopefully, within
hours after the broadcast, we should have a version available
for those who didn't tune in live to listen to...that will be saved in Real Audio or ra format.
My thoughts are to set up this feed in segments. Thus a listener can go to a segment as opposed to having to
listen to the whole show. Plus it's easier to upload this way.
While we will start out on live365, I'm hoping
in the months ahead to set up an internal system that will give us
more control and bandwidth. Currently Internet broadcasting is still in a state of flux and the future of live365 is in doubt.
I'm very open to anyone with alternative suggestions.
We have a ton of options when we're on live for listeners to contact us. Obviously, the phone is the easiest.
For those listening and on the phone, there will
be a lag of upwards of 15 to 30 seconds
on the audio. Thus if they're on hold, they should listen to the phone where they'll get the real-time feed of things.
Nope, no screener.
What they'll hear is a connect and then the audio, that should tell them
not only did they make it but be ready, they'll be on soon.
We're feeding music right now and hopefully you'll
be able to hear it.
We tested it last night with friends in Florida and California and they heard it loud and clear.
This is very important.
Keep in mind the soft expectations of low bigotry.*
Thursday night is a practice, or a test to see if the equipment works.
Sure, we could test it privately, but where's the risk in that?
This first show should be worse than awful and badder than bad.
It'll be so bad, we hope to play excerpts from it on our anniversary
so we can hoot & holler about just how GD awful it was.
We have no script, no plans, and no expectations, except the soft ones
of low bigotry.*
After the show, you should be saying, "Koresh, that was a jumbled mess."
I have only had a microphone in my hands twice since second grade,
so expect a stumbling, sputtering and bumbling performance from me.
You've never heard someone as bad as me on the radio before.
Expect large chunks of dead air and embarrassing silence.
Go into this with the certainly that it will suck serious donkey,
That way, if we manage to get something funny said, it'll be a net plus.
Marty will be the guy running things as the MC, or whatever.
He has 25 years of experience, he knows what he's doing.
I, however, am a virgin, so you will need to be gentle.
Thursday night - YOU are the star of the show.
All we want to do is take calls.
It would be better if you have something to say or a question or a comment,
but let's not get into anything too deep (like the Florida Theft) on the first show.
(Of course, there are no rules, so maybe we'll do Florida, who knows?)
Call screeners: We will have none.
I want to show the vulgar Pigboy that you don't need to be a coward.
I would LIKE calls from Republicans, and you can say anything you want,
but if you get gross or just become a total shithead, you're gone.
Public figures are OK to slander, but let's not slander each other.
If I say something you think is horseshit, you're free to say that on the show.
If you think Clinton is a liar and a crook, say that and I'll correct you.
I think after a couple of calls or a couple of shows it will be obvious
the line is that you're not supposed to cross.
If the Freepers want to call and say "Eat shit, Bartfag," they can,
but it will be proof that they have no ideas beyond personal insults.
If Lanny and Pete Sliman and others want a shot at me, now's their chance.
I know that whatever we plan for, it will turn out different,
and keep in mind that this is an experiment that we're trying without a net.
Having never done radio, I'm putting a lot of weight on Marty's shoulders
to be sure the conversation keeps rolling, but that will be mostly up to you.
You have to call!
(I guess we need to allow for the possibility that nobody will call,
making this just another bad BartCop idea.)
To start, it's not an 800 number, so it might cost you 9 cents a minute.
So ...spend a buck.
When you call, it would help if you had something to say, or a question.
If you call and say, "Nice show" or "nice page," that'd be OK, but nobody wants
to hear fan mail over the phone, so think of a good question or have a statement to make.
Once we get a dozen shows in the can, we'll play the best one for some
and try to come up with a budget and an 800 number.
Once we get the hang of this, we expect celebrity guests.
Maybe not Chris Rock and Julia Roberts, but people you know.
I'll give out the phone number tomorrow.
Last thing - we need you to call.
If this turns into something (how could it not?) wouldn't it be fun to say
"I was on the very first BartCop radio show way back in '01?"
Will the first few shows blow?
But show #10 thru 1000 could be the most fun you've ever had with a
...so lower your expectations, and CALL.