Plastic surgery and material possessions continue
to be used in a futile attempt at disguising the fact that we are
predominantly a cruel and vacuous lot and as yet there remains no answer to global warming or what on earth
we are going to do about all the waste products that we continue to dump into the very ground my beautiful
neices, beloved nephew and adorable god-daughter are going to inherit.
Mercifully there remains a rare and elusive force
at play that somehow or other against all the odds manages to
ensure that the world continues to spin, art is created, book and coffee shops stay open until 9pm, cats and dogs,
yet to be declared an endangered species, continue to keep us falling into abject misery and hopelessness by
agreeing to share our homes and company and the Bush administration is yet to declare alchohol an illegal substance.
Better yet.... the attempt to make an amendment to the consitution banning gay marriage failed to make it through the senate.
Sheeesh........what a fucking world we're living in right now. And yet most of the time I still think it's rather lovely
......though strange as that may sound.
What else? Oh our record?!?!?! Well........what
can I say about our record? It's nearly done. At least I think it
We've yet to submit it to the record company so of course they will ultimately be the judge of that but I am much
happier with how things are sounding and we're functioning as a band a little better than we have been in some time!
Christ... did things take a weird turn back in October?! I seriously thought we were through. Oh how I wish I could
spill all the beans here but certain members of the band would never forgive me if I washed my dirty laundry in public
so I will just have to save it for my memoirs (ha ha ha haaa......) but suffice to say..........it got pretty rowdy in
garbageland for a while.I must confess.....I loved the drama of it all.I get bored when things stagnate.
Talking of awakenings............and I know you're probably thinking I need certified by now..... I've also suddenly and
abruptly undergone a bizarre awakening to nature.(I am literally laughing out loud as I type because I just know how
this must sound!!!!) I'm not kidding!!! All of a sudden I am seeing colours and textures and hearing sounds and smelling
scents and just feeling overwhelmed with the beauty of...........well dare I say it?........MOTHER NATURE!!!!!!!!!!
I've been so blind to it all of my life and now
all of a sudden it's like I've got extra sensory perceptive specs on or
I've dropped large quantities of acid. It's freaking me out!!!
Before I know it I'll be scouting around LA in
a hair net and a pair of wellys, pushing a wheelbarrow stuffed with
potting plants and fetilizer!! Oh please, oh please assure me you'll shoot me if I do!!!!!
Finally......here's a little something that Butch
e-mailed me yesterday.A satirical presidential resume produced by some
comically political magazine in the midwest. What's so alarming about it,is that it's all factually based.
Do bear it in mind when casting your vote later this year,won't you.
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to
take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining
the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career
in the oil
business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but
couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly
after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team
in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the
help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including
Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power
and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court,
I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
- I am the first President in U.S. history to
enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office,
over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the
U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money
was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate
rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption
involving the oil industry was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
- I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August,
I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made
the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
- I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES
- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas
are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or Cheney attended on energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!
[posted 8/9/2004 U.S.A.]
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