Those of you who read the on-line "windbag" edition of RL-LNW
Volume 122 on
bartcop.com know that I have two passions - politics and music.
I also mentioned my undefeated streak in court.
Well, my record is now 300 - 0.
As I said earlier, I saw God perform three times since the last issue.
He and Robert Plant
were playing three shows nearby, so we took some ADM money and caught all three.
If you ever get a chance to see Jimmy Page live - do it.
But let's talk about our crazy court system.
Once again, I got to play out-of-control prosecutor.
Here's what happened:
A friend offered to get us great tickets for the Page/Plant show at
the Myriad in Oklahoma City.
His plan was to camp out two days ahead of time at the box office.
He did this, in the sun, suffering from the flu, for the price of a ticket.
It was no picnic, but he knew it was going to be worth it.
When ticket time arrived, two wise-ass cops made the campers wait
while they escorted their friends
into the arena via a side door. These friends of the cops bought so many tickets, we ended up on Row 27
- hardly the great seats we were counting on to see God play his guitar.
In my mind, this was a clear case of breach of contract of the "first
come-first serve" principle
that was implied in their ticket offer, so we sued.
Since the court system takes forever, we went to the OKC concert with
our 27th row tickets,
knowing we'd get the last laugh on these jack-booted lawbreakers.
We filed a small claims action against Beaver Productions, (the concert
the City of Oklahoma City (they own the Myriad) and the two cops who committed
the illegal, unreasonable, outrageous and actionable offenses.
Thursday, June 18th, 1998 the judge agreed we were wronged.
(This is the killer part.)
We got a judgment against all of them for $581.
You lawyer-types out there know that once you have judgment, the battle
The only way you can't win now is if the defendent is broke, but Beaver and OKC have money.
We sent a demand letter to Beaver, the city attorney and the police department.
We gave them 30 days to deliver the money the judge ORDERED them to pay us.
They didn't have any choice.
(This is the really killer part.)
If we didn't get our money in 30 days, the judge would sign a BLANK
demand letter for us,
also known as an asset hearing. Basically, the judge asks us what we want from them.
We say "Gee, Your Honor, what are our choices?"
Trust me, this is what happens next:
The judge signs a BLANK paper, ordering the defendants to return to
court with a list
of whatever assets we request on the form. For most people, this list includes: stocks, bonds,
checking account, savings accounts, checking accounts, guns, automobiles, furniture, deeds to
property, any accounts receivable they have, etc etc etc. The list goes on forever.
They must also bring tax returns and banking statements etc for the last five years.
This is a full and complete anal probe.
But, as always, it gets worse for the guilty.
If they FAIL to bring in this incredibly long list of their assets,
they're in contempt of court!
The judge will issue a bench warrant.
They can be f-ing ARRESTED!
Can you believe that?
It's a fact.
So here's the deal:
Page and Plant were scheduled to play Dallas in September. The city
attorney for OKC
wanted this to go away, so he put pressure on Beaver Productions to make us happy.
We told Beaver we wanted four free tickets in the first ten rows or we wanted our money!
But if we got these four free tickets in a good spot, and maybe some backstage passes,
we would agree to release them from the asset hearing.
This was way cool.
Once we got judgment, they never had a chance.
Once we got judgment, we OWN the entire situtation.
They can make us happy or they can go to f-ing jail.
It's true that power corrupts, but by Koresh, we'd already won this
and we fully expected to see God upclose at least one more time this year.
For more details, check the
You won't see my name on that page, because I'm smart enough not to be the next Rodney King.
I visit OKC occasionally, and I have no desire to play "gotcha" with the OKC police department.
All I wanted was some great concert tickets we were supposed to get earlier.
This just in... 9:45 Monday the 6th.
Beaver, the promoter, has filed a motion for a directed verdict.
Sorry, Beaverboy, but the trial was last month.
What are you, like, ...stupid?
Beaverboy should hire me to do his legal work.
I haven't seen the language in the motion, but the judge won't direct
shit until he hears from us.
If that Beaver Boy angers me, I'll have his aging mother thrown in prison to die alone.
Isn't that was justice is about in America these days?
Once Page/Plant leave the states, RL-LNW can resume publishing on a
We'll be in the thick of the '98 elections by then, too.
In the end, Beaverboy's motion wasn't even heard, and the Oklahoma City
attorney told him
to make us happy because the concert was in ten days, and they were afraid they were going
to have to write us a check for $581 so Beaverboy over-nighted us some tenth-row tickets.
We expected better, but BartCop-ism has always been about compassion.
We flew to Dallas, ate at Ninfa's Mexican restaurant, which is the best
Mexican food ever.
If you make it to Dallas or Houston, check out Ninfa's.
They have some tasty Souza margarita's there, too.
We saw a really nice show, even better than the previous shows.
The band was getting tighter as the tour progressed.
I'd like to thank our pilot, Enrique, and ADM for the use of the jet.
I'd also like to thank the inventor of the mini-disc. I recorded the shows digitally.
It was a great show, and we get to hear it again and again in our living room.
Gotta run - Mrs. BartCop is making margaritas,
and we're gonna listen to God play his guitar.
Life is good.
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