The Barry Switzer Factor

 Do you know why everyone (but me) hates football coach Barry Switzer?
 He tends to be a little cocky sometimes.
 Yet, as a rule, he backed up his cocky talk.

 Back in the glory days of Oklahoma University football, Barry was on top of the world.
 Barry knows defense.

 Matter of fact, he learned his defense in Arkansas.
 Arkansans know their defense, if you've been paying attention
 to politics from 1992-2001, you'd know that.

 Anyway, one of the quotes that made people hate Barry Switzer
 was something he said one year before the Texas game.
 Barry had the Selmon Brothers, all three of them, on his defensive line.
 Oklahoma's defense was so good, the sports pages didn't list who #2 was.

 A sportswriter asked Barry how he expected to do against the
 powerful "Texas scoring machine," and he said.

 "We may play to a tie."

 Puzzled, the reporter asked Barry what he meant by that.

 Barry said, "Well, I don't think Texas can score on the Selmons,
 so if we don't score, the worst Oklahoma can do is a 0-0 tie."

 ha ha

 Cocky SOB, that Switzer.

 So why do I bring this up in an essay about political ethics?

 The Clinton Administration has had zero felonies.
 Oh, sure, they caught Web Hubble with some Arkansas billing magic,
 but that had nothing to do with the Clinton Administration.
 Matter of fact, Hubbel stole from his partners, including Hillary.

 Clinton promised "the most ethical administration in history,"
 and he has delivered on that promise.

 I mean, can you get fewer felonies than ZERO felonies?

 President Bush can't claim zero felonies.
 President Reagan can't claim zero felonies.

 And, because it's Christmas, I won't mention Ford and his pardons,
 except to remind the reader that Ford didn't pardon Nixon for Watergate.
 Ford pardoned Nixon for  "Any crimes he committed or may have committed."
 Jesus, you could cover Texas with that blanket.

 For all we know, Nixon murdered a Malaysian prostitute named Su-Ling and had Haldeman
 and Liddy dump the body in the Atlantic - and Ford pardoned him for that!

 - Back on point

 Since the Clinton Administration has had ZERO felonies,
 it's possible he may have to share the "most ethical" title
 with some other administration, but it won't be a Republican.

 I'll keep this "thread" up for a while.
 I'd like to hear from you conservatives.

 I'll print every e-mail that includes facts.

 The GOP gets hard and wet when somebody mentions Clinton's goal of
 "the most ethical administration in history."

 Yeah, they get in dark rooms and pat each other on the ass,
 giving each other "dittoes" to the "long list of Clinton crimes,"
 but the smart people know Barry Switzer was right.

 The worst Clinton can do is share ethical perfection.

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