Anyone who has listened to Rush Limbaugh knows he's a football fan.
His favorite team has always been the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Something happened to change that, I'm not sure what.
Recently, I heard Rush say that Terry Bradshaw, former Pittsburgh
quarterback with four Super Bowl rings was, "kind of stupid."
I guess loyalty isn't Rush's strong suit.
It got worse (with Rush, it always does).
For some reason, Rush has turned on his favorite team.
Around the first of December I heard Rush tell a crude joke about the Steelers.
He said, "the team is so bad this year, they might change their name to the 'Pittsburgh Tampons,'
because they're only good for one period, and they have no second string."
He also said long-time Steeler coach Bill Cowher, "might
be replaced by Monica Lewinsky.
She may blow a few games, but she won't choke on the big one."
Don't believe me?
Click Here to hear the vulgar Pigboy's tampon jokes as an file.
When I heard Rush tell that joke, I remembered
how he always claims he's,
"an excellent role model for your kids," and that his talent is "on loan from God,"
and I got to wondering:
Does that mean God co-produced the tampon joke?
Does that mean God approves of the blow job joke?
Unlike a lot of people these days, I wouldn't dare to assume to speak
but I don't think God would want to be associated with a tampon joke, do you?
Not long ago, Rush asked his listeners to usher the children out of
the room so he could call
Clinton a "turd-licker." Years ago on his TV show, Rush called Chelsea, "the White House dog."
Would God endorse such a tasteless personal attack against
an innocent girl who was only fourteen at the time?
Does God have a foul mouth?
Does God enjoy tampon jokes?
Does God like jokes about choking during oral sex?
If Rush's talent is "on loan from God," it follows that either:
1. God is a fool who unwittingly loans His talent to those who
would misuse that talent in His name to harm the innocent,
2. There's nothing disgusting about turd and tampon jokes,
and God doesn't mind His name being used to promote such filth.
3. There IS something disgusting about Rush Limba,
but his ditto-heads assume God enjoys being dragged through the slimy E.I.B. gutter.
What's wrong with those people?
They don't mind their God being stripped of His dignity?
They don't mind if Christ takes another lance in His side?
They don't mind another thorn piercing His scalp?
As long as Rush can take another cheap shot at Clinton,
the "deeply religious people" forgive the slur against God?
Rush's crusade against Clinton must mean more to those conservatives
than God's dignity.
There's no other way to look at it. Clinton-hating means more to conservative Christians
than God's dignity or somebody would've called him on it before now.
Trust me - if BartCop is the only one defending your God's dignity,
there's something reeeeeeally wrong here.
I'm agnostic, but I'd never drag God's name through the tampons.
If I do a religious joke, it usually has some kind of point to it, but I'd never use God's name
to tell a crude joke that had a used tampon in the punchline.
I joke about Jimmy Page being God, and I wouldn't think of using his
cherry-red doubleneck guitar
to beat up Rush Limbaugh. But somehow, the religious conservatives don't mind Rush using
the dignity of God to beat up on President Clinton.
So why is God allowing this kind of filth?
Disney would never allow this, why does God?
The TV networks would never allow it, why does God?
Why would God allign Himself with a mean-spirited bastard with no class
Why would God loan talent to a man to torment the appearance of a fourteen year old girl?
(For a moment, I considered the possibility that Rush was lying,
but then I remembered he's America's "truth detector.")
The fact that the religious community doesn't mind that Rush drags their
Holy Savior through the tampons
is a big surprise to me. They don't mind God's dignity being used to score political points.
I'll be honest - it bothers mea little, and I'm agnostic.
Why doesn't it bother anybody else?
I wouldn't do a God-tampon joke or a God-turd joke for $1000.
It's just in bad taste.
What does it tell you that Rush Limbaugh mocks your God this way,
but agnostic BartCop won't put anything that crude on his anything-goes website?
It tells me you religious conservatives love Rush Limbaugh more than
the dignity of your God.
It's that simple.
The bottom line?
I think THEY think their religion is a sham.
What God-fearing Christian would laugh and cheer when Rush Limbaugh does a joke
about Monica choking when a penis gets inserted too far back in her throat?
If the dignity of your God means nothing to you, if turds, tampons and
don't cross the line, could a religious person explain to me what does?
Maybe your God's just not that important to you, but if I was a religious
man, and I heard
some clown claim he was using God's talent to promote that kind of filth, there'd be a fight.
I'm calling on all Christians to denounce the multi-millionaire Turd-and-Tampon
of the Christian Right, the man who de facto leads one of the great political parties of our times.
Rush has created a split between himself and God.
Will you choose Rush and his tampon jokes or your God's dignity?
...and do I hear a cock crowing three times?