Friday, I went to the spirits store.
 Last time I was there, I bought a hand-blown of Chinaco Anejo
 for the third Smirk-Fuzzy debate, which was ten days ago.

 If you can stretch a bottle of fine, luxury tequila to last for ten days,
 while still tasting some every day, that's a lot like not drinkin' at all.
 The trick is to kiss the Chinaco, not chug it.

 I admit, back in my early-2000 neanderthal drinking days, I used to make
 the Chinaco disappear, but that's barbarism, and we've out-grown that.
 These days, it's all about a few drops at a time, drowning in the flavor.

 I came up with a new trick.
 Partly out of financial necessity, (Koresh bless ADM and their generosity)
 and partly because it delivers the flavor like nothing else...

  Funny, as we sail farther into the world of fine luxury tequilas,
  it just keeps getting better, by using less and less alcohol.

 So here's the deal:
 You spend the big bucks for the Chinaco Anejo, even tho you can't really
 afford it, and you set up your TV show, your movie, your CD, your date (cough)
 and relax and take the smallest sip possible of God's nectar.

 We're talking 4-6 drops.
 (Don't use an eyedropper, you'll look like a real dork.)
 What you do is, you pour yourself a shot, and you tell yourself that
 that shot is going to last a half-hour or maybe even 45 minutes.

 OK, so you sip the smallest amount possible of fine, luxury tequila into your mouth,
 and you reap the harvest of explosions of fruit-flavors, just from those few drops.
 Then, ...and here's the killer part, since there's only those few drops,
 instead of swallowing, you just allow the golden amber to faaaaaall into your throat.

 Oh, this is the best part!
 Oh, it's like nothing you've ever felt or tasted before.
 It's the fine line between pleasure and pain, Koresh help me!

 Your natural tendency is to swallow right away, but it's only 3-4 drops,
 so you fight the urge to swallow, and just let it fall back into your throat.

 ha ha
 Are you buying any of this?

 So here you are, relaxing, having a good time...
 A nice movie, TV show, ...whatever, having some friends over,
 or maybe that special girl..?

 You want to experience the ultimate in adult beverage perfection,
 yet keep your head and get everything you can out of the evening.
  (Girls, if I'm getting too graphic, let me know...)

 Your get your 3-4 drops of Chinaco Anejo and you let them fall
  towards home and you don't kill the flavor with a swallow...

 You take a deep breath, without swallowing, and feel that agave rush.
 God's nectar, coating your esophagus, demanding your attention.
 You know the minute you swallow, you'll be left with the magnificent aftertaste,
 the operative word being, "after," signaling the end to the tastiest of all shots.

 So, to extend the good times, to maximize the fun, to get more bang for the buck,
 instead of swallowing, like Faith sings, you  j u s t   b r e a t h e...

 Oh, ...Oh, ...Koresh, ..just, ...just take me now!

 When you allow a few drops of sunshine to linger, your next breath tells you
 you're fucking drowning in a Chinaco Anejo vat!

 Hep me, hep me!
 I'm drowning in a vat of Chinaco Anejo!

 ha ha

 What a feeling!
 Holy Koresh!

 You try to breathe in oxygen, but all you get is Chinaco vapors.

 ha ha

 Frank had it right!
 Necessity is the Mother of Invention.

 When I had that ADM money,

 I spent $150 a week on fine tequila, but I never properly tasted the flavor.
 Oh, sure, you catch some when you chug it, but you can't savor the flavor..

 Now that I'm broke, I can taste so much more than before.

 I'm going to do one more - live - right here, right now,

 Ready?

 Here we go...

 reach

 lift

 draw

 sip

 breathe....
 

 ha ha

 Is that killer or what?

 Powerful enough to fuel a dragster, but smells sweeter than the air
 in Death Valley when El Nino brought the desert flowers back to life.

 Whoa!
 I just closed my lips and blew some papaya flavor into my nose.
 Oh, this can't be this good, it just can't be...

 How can a matchhead of liquid deliver this much entertainment?

 I feel like I'm living in Jalisco...


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