Vol 166 - Beating the Bushes

January 30, Superbowl Sunday


ha ha ha ha ha

Lucianne, you want a piece of me?
C'mon, let's get each other under oath and see who looks stupid!

(Kevin Cunningham is the best kept secret in comedy)

What do Texans think of their governor?

One man's opinion.

Yoko Ono Says She Lives in Fear

LONDON (Reuters) - Yoko One has admitted she lives in fear for herself
and the two sons of her murdered husband John Lennon.

U.S. parole authorities are preparing to consider the possible release of
Mark Chapman, the obsessed Beatle fan who gunned down Lennon in 1980
outside his New York apartment.

This is all I can find about this - these two sentences from Reuters.
We're not going to let this happen, are we?

Oswald and Ruby are dead.
James Earl Ray is dead.
Sirhan Sirhan is rotting just like he should be.

(Is Kinckley getting out on weekends?
 That's no good, either. Hinckley should rot, too)
 This Chapman prick needs to rot until he expires.

Does anyone know any details?

Let's get a mass e-mailing protest started, or something.
We need to prevent this bastard from seeing the Sun again.

I Hope He Lives In An Asbestos House Quotes

"Hell, I can train a monkey to go out there and fight a fire."

  -- Ron Mercer, Helena, Montana airport director,
      on the issue of training firefighters to fight aircraft fires
      (USA Today, Jan 28, p 17A)

As if the people in Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri,
Kansas, Iowa and Colorado needed another reason
to dislike Nebraska's Tom Osborne...

Tom Osborne, former football coach at Nebraska has declared
his Republican candidacy for the 3rd District seat of Nebraska.

Boy, those Republicans looooooooove their football.

It doesn't matter if they're traitors to their race, like Uncle OJ Watts.
It doesn't matter if they're religiously insane, like Steve Largent.
If you can cause a pigskin to move through a group of grunting men
without dropping it, the Republican party can use you.

"This isn't an election, this is a canonization," said Dick Shugrue,
Creighton U law professor and longtime Nebraska political observer.

My favorite part of this story is the fact that Coach Osborne is
running in an area in which he does not live or work.

There's a name for a person that does that, ....what is it?

Hmmm... I can't think of it..... darn, it's right on the tip of my tongue,
Damn, I wish I could think of that term the Republicans use when
somebody just rolls into town and declares themselves "one of you,"
when they don't live or work there.... damn... what is it?

I'll keep trying to remember what the GOP calls those awful people.
It's a shame I can't think of that word.

Sigh,   ...I'll keep trying to remember.

Governor Butch Clarifies His Abortion Position
Face the Whore,  January 30

Governor, why make it illegal if you're not going to prosecute?

Click Here

Let's Not Forget

What will America become if the Republicans
win the White House and a majority in Congress?

The Starr Referral - Footnote 209

Or, as the Republicans call it,

The Footnote that Preserved the Rule of Law in America.

Great Quotes from Sunday

"I'm from Texas.
 Texas is first in the nation at being large.
 If Texas were a country, I'd know the leader's name."

  -- George W. Butch, not as stupid as they say.


If George Dubya wins the White House, (I know, I know)
and he chooses to vastly beef up America's military might,
would that be considered a "socialistic wealth-transfer program?"

...just trying to get their terminology down.


You might want to read this
before you drink out of a priest's chalice at Holy Communion.

An in-depth challenge on the South Carolina flag flap.

How Long?  How Long?

As I type this, Lynyrd Skynryd is warming up the ABC Superbowl telecast
with the words, "Southern Man don't need Neil Young around, anyhow,"

Another big wink to the flag-waving racists of the American south.
Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe George Bush DOES have a chance to win.


Make Him Stop

 From:  mrte@home.com

 Subject: What a Maroon.....

 Bush's Spec-Tackular Oratory: "You've Got to Preserve"

"During a breakfast speech Thursday to the local Chamber of
 Commerce, Bush spoke admiringly of the single mothers
 who work hard 'to put food on your family.'

 After lunch, he appeared at the Fairgrounds Elementary School
 where the pupils performed songs and skits about their
 theme of the month: perseverance.

 When Bush took to the microphone, he lauded them, saying:
 'This is preservation month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you
 do when you run for president. You've got to preserve.'
 A day earlier, Bush spoke about the need for 'tackular'
 instead of tactical - nuclear weapons.  [AP, 1/28/00]

Makes Dan Quayle seem like a brain surgeon,
Martin Sall

Governor Half-Sissy Beaten up by Cokie Roberts

Like his Daddy, Younger Butch promised he wouldn't raise taxes.
Like his daddy, he then did.

Bush was questioned on this apparent tax-pledge reversal by well-known
pit bullette Cokie Roberts on ABC's "This Week" on January 23:

Roberts: "We have here that tax pledge, if we could take a
look at it. Here it is. 'I, George W. Bush, candidate for the governor,
pledge to oppose any legislation establishing a state personal income tax
or increasing the sales tax.' And there's your signature.

Then comes the 1997 State of the State address, where you
proposed increasing the sales tax a half a cent."

Bush: "Yeah, bu -- but, the full story is that I proposed a
billion-dollar tax cut."

Roberts: "I understand ..."

Bush: "Let m -- le -- let me ..."

Roberts: "But in terms of the pledge itself ..."

Bush: "But the pro -- the pledge ..."

Roberts: "... did you break the pledge?"

Bush: "No, because in a letter that I wrote to the -- to this particular
person -- I said I also intend to reform our -- the way we find our
schools -- finance our schools. I said I want to make the state of
Texas the primary funder of schools.

And so the full picture is this: As a result of my leadership, we cut
taxes $1 billion in the state of Texas. The baseline of the budget
was reduced by a billion, and a billion dollars went to homeowners
in my state of Texas."

Roberts: "Look, it's entirely possible that what you did and -- came
out right at the end, but the question is, on this particular pledge, where
your name is there, saying I will not raise the sales tax. Did you, in fact ..."

Bush: "Bu -- bu -- but ..."

Roberts: "... break that pledge?"

Bush: "But Cokie, in the letter I sent to the person
-- there are pledges all the time, and we  -- we -- we -- we --
I enunciated the -- I told her,  I -- I -- I expanded on the pledge
that I would do everything I could to make the state the primary
funder of schools, as well. And that's exactly what I attempted to do.
I attempted to reform the tax code, I attempted to cut taxes and,
as a  result of my leadership, we did."

Cokie, ease up on Half-Sissy.
He's all scared and embarrassed that you're kicking his ass.
Can't you let him off the hook, you mean lady?

 ha ha

February 1, New Hampshire Primary

I ran into some old sound files the other day.

Older folks will remember this most-famous story.
Rush favorite Jane Fonda was on Johnny Carson one night,
and asked him if this most-famous story was really true.

Click Here

The Pink-Ass Pigboy

Part of what I like to do with  bartcop.com  is point our alllll
the different ways Rush Limba can tell a lie. One that we haven't
mentioned yet is Pigboy's incomplete sentences.

Usually they involve Clinton, but now he's after John McCain..
Rush's brother, David, has a piece of the website worldnetdaily.com
Rush wants to throw his deadbeat brother some cash, so look for
a lot of "fantastic" and "ground-breaking" and "on-target" horseshit
to come flying out of worldnetdaily.com's ass so Pigboy can plug it.

And remember, as you read this, that Rush's dirty, infected ass is
what kept him from going to Vietnam to fight that "most noble" war

Since the Blow Monkey is crumbling and McCain is coming on strong,
it's Pigboy's job to attack McCain, a war hero and former P.O.W.

First, listen to the clip

Check out the unspoken innuendo in Pigboy's half-sentences.

I'm not an expert on McCain and his war injuries, but he had two
broken arms, or a broken arm and the other shoulder was broken,
plus his knee was busted, some pretty serious injuries.

Jesus Christ, he survived a jet crash, so it's a little hard to
exxaggerate his injuries.  But I read Hackworth's report, and
Hackworth says after four days in this condition, McCain told
them something in order to get medical assistance for his wounds.

Four days?

With two broken arms and a busted knee?
In a hundred degree shithole in North Vietnam?

Again, I'm no expert, but I remember something about them
hanging McCain by his arms until he agreed to talk.

I don't know how brave you are, but I'd tell them what they
wanted to know if they withheld my Chinaco from me for four days.
If I was hanging from my broken arms, and they offered me a trip
to a hospital, I'd tell them any goddamn thing they wanted to know.

But the ugly, infected Pigboy thinks we should all hate McCain because
his threshold of pain wasn't as high as Pigboy says it should have been.

Bad McCain!

If I was John McCain, I'd go to Pigboy's studio and demonstrate to his
pink, candy ass just how well my arms have healed in the last 25 years.

Limba, you are such an unforgivable prick.

Pigboy, Forced to Eat It


I was on pigboy today in the last hour and hammered him.
If you taped the show check it out.
I was Bernie from Oregon.

Of course he ended up having to cut me off
but I made my point about G.W.

If you post it, don't print my e-mail address.


"Bernie" Hammers the Pigboy

I loved his attempts to out-debate you.

"The publisher pulled that book off the rack,
 so that's PROOF Dubya didn't do cocaine."

 ha ha

You did good.

A Shot of Chinaco for "Bernie" in Oregon!

I don't know what to say about this.

Did Al Gore Invent the Internet?

The famous quote, "Al Gore said that he invented the internet" is a lie.
And people who perpetuate this lie are lying, Telling a falsehood.
A fabrication. An untruth. A fib. A falsification.

Hereís the quote attributed to Gore, "I invented the internet."
He never said it.

What he said was, "During my service in the United States Congress,
I took the initiative in creating the internet."

Oh, I know what youíre saying, "same thing"

Well if you are, youíre wrong.
From my 1995 Websterís College Edition Dictionary
Create: To bring into being, To give rise to.

Nowhere does it say "invent."

Invent: To produce or contrive (something previously unknown),
To fabricate.

The GOP invented the Gore quote about the Internet.

Further, my word processing thesaurus says this (among others) of
Creating: shaping, fashioning, forming. Nowhere does it say "invent."

With their bills, etc., Gore and others DID have a hand in fashioning
and shaping the internet.

Now we know that Rush and the GOP are lying and misleading us.
Others who repeat the lie are "factually incorrect." And if after knowing
the true quote they choose to still say that "Gore said that he invented
the internet, then they are simply lying. After all, they say that the truth is
very important to the when it comes to Bill Clinton. Letís hope that
theyíre not hypocritical and will apply it to themselves.

So what was that famous Clinton lie? "I did not have sex with that woman..."
Well, how about that. If you quote it that way, YOU are lying.
Clinton never said those words.

Funny how the GOP resorts to lying about this.
He never said that.

What Clinton said was,
"I did not have sexual RELATIONS with that woman..."
And he was telling the truth.

When the prosecution defined "sexual relations" there was a long list
of definitions, but not a man receiving oral "you know" from a woman.
So he gave a truthful "no" answer to the question,
"Did you have sexual relations with Miss Lewinsky?"
Blame him for the prosecution being inept.

There's a famous Nazi baztard who USED to say,
"Words mean things."

He rarely says it anymore.

Oh, hereís another Presidential quote-

Richard Milktoast Nixon
(the only President to resign the office in disgrace was a Republican)
"The Jews are all over the government. Most Jews are disloyal.
Generally speaking, you canít trust the bastards."

Unlike the first two - that's a true quote.

It'a my guess that the recent report that Catholic priests have
up to four times the AIDS and HIV rates of the general public,
will create a lot of different stories - here's one:

Rush and Doc Harpy and others with similar thought patterns
say all we need to teach our teenagers is to "Just say no."

This priest report, coupled with Doc Harpy's insistence that
our well-trained military cannot keep their penises out of the
vaginas of their co-workers would seem to suggest that:

If our best-trained military personell cannot control themselves,
and those who've dedicated their lives to Jesus Christ
cannot control themselves, why are we demanding more
from our inexperienced teenagers who have raging harmones
rushing through their bodies at light speed?

I submit:

The FACTS say if the military can't do it.
The FACTS say our religious leaders can't do it.
The FACTS point to the use of sex education and condoms.

If you think I'm wrong, I hope you have medical insurance
that covers HIV and a book of baby names in the house.


E-Mail BartCop

Code Words

More on the Pigboy/Hackworth attack on John McCain.

If you go to www.hackworth.com  you'll see this statement:

These pages are designed to introduce you to Colonel Hackworth and keep you
up to date with his writings and personal mission to:

"ensure that American troops are never put in harm's way without the right training,
 the right equipment, the right leadership, and the right mission."

This is horseshit!

In their mind, "the right mission" means a Republican gave the order.
If a Democratic Commander-in-Chief gave the order, is the "wrong mission."

It doesn't matter how many hundreds or thousands of soldiers die under orders
given by a Republican president, and it doesn't matter if a Democratic president
can safely bring home every goddamn soldier he sent into battle, Pigboy/Hackworth
will always say the Democrat is wrong and the Republican is right.

More than anybody I know, I try to back our military men.
But this mindset brings the word "loathe" into the conversation.

I will back any soldier who follows orders from his Commander-in-Chief,
but if they refuse to follow lawfully-given orders,
they are cowardly ditto-monkeys and are guilty of treason.

Great Gov. Smirk Quotes

In selling his education policy to audiences, Governor Smirk
has come up with a most important question.

"Is your children learning?''

Please, God,

You must let this man win the White House in November.
I would like a summer home in Aspen and a winter home in Hawaii.
Mrs. BartCop wants that Jaguar, and I've had my eyes on
the cutest little black Acura NSX   T-top you ever saw.

Please God, I know I've said (in the past) that you don't exist,
but if you could make this one miracle happen, you will have
converted a mighty warrior to slash-and-burn at your request.

Your net gain in souls would surely be a positive number.

That "buffoon thing" continues to haunt Governor Smirk.


Dan Quayle - come back.
All is forgiven.

You're a buffoon, too, but you're a buffoon with experience!

From a New York Times article by Gail Collins:

At a Lincoln Day dinner in Manchester last week, his handlers
approached Gary Bauer, the candidate who had drawn the
first-speaker slot, and told him "the governor is really exhausted"
and would appreciate being allowed to switch places.

If you have seen the diminutive Mr. Bauer in any of the
Republican debates, glaring at Mr. Bush like the Chucky Doll
in those horror movies, you can imagine the response.
I remember the 1992 campaign like it was yesterday..
Clinton had been campaigning for over a solid year.
Sixteen and eighteen hour days, relentlessly campaigning.

Remember, that last night before the election, Ted Koppel
was following Clinton's every step, and couldn't keep up.
That last night, Clinton gave an after-midnight speech in Denver,
then slept on the plane so he could give a before-sunrise speech
when he landed in Washington a few hours later.

By comparison, Governor Smirk is very tired after a months
of half-assed compaigning. Remember, it's only been the last
90- days that Smirk even began to come out and play after
an eternity of hiding in the Governor's mansion in Austin.

Let's list the attributes we've seen in the last 90 days.
1  He tires easily.
    (Didn't he have a physical where they said he had the body
     of an athlete? Sure, if that athlete is Darryl Strawberry.)
2. His smug smirking even pisses off fellow Republicans.
3. He's got the compassion of Al Capone on whiskey.
    (Personally leads the western hemisphere in executions)
4. His word is as good as his tax cut pledge.
5. He has, or has had, a cocaine problem.
    (Dr. Laura says "Druggies are never really cured.")
6. He's admitted to having an alcohol abuse problem.
    (Dr. Laura says "Booze makes people liars.")
7. His only success in the private sector came about with
    his Daddy's friend's money and a huge tax increase.
8. His grasp of the issues exceeds that of many spanked
    Penthouse Pets from the Howard Stern Show.
9. He expects this contest to be given to him, after all,
    he's raised more money than the little candidates.
10. He can't think on his feet, so when he gets stuck,
    he uses "Jesus Christ" as his fallback answer, and if
    somebody doesn't like that, ...well, ...it wouldn't be the
    first time a follower of Christ was crucified for his views.

 ...and this draft-dodger is the best man in the entire Republican Party?


 From:  leocarr@mediaone.net

 Subject: NEW FORMAT

 Dear "Bernie"

     Were you getting complaints about the old format of your site?
Again, not to repeat myself, the new format sucks!  I have to go to
 bottom of web page then inch up to where you have started anew.

 Leo Carr


Obviously, I'm not trying to make it hard to read.

This started with my suggestion to Bob Kerrey.
I told Kerrey to "F" himself for calling Clinton
"the arsonist who helps put out the fire."

Readers saw the "No, F  YOU, BartCop,"
before they saw my Kerrey invitation.

The old way, you saw Godfather II, then you saw The Godfather.
It's my opinion continuity and chronology are important,
but maybe the best way would be to let the readers decide,
after all, we're not communists.

Those who don't care don't need to vote.
Those with a strong opinion can send in a vote for the
New Format  or  Old Format.

E-Mail Your Vote

Should Watts be prosecuted for lying in 1994?
 By The Associated Press

 NORMAN, Okla. (AP) -- Uncle O. J. Watts, the only black
 Republican member of Congress, has decided to run for a fourth
 term despite an earlier pledge to serve only three.

 "Regardless of what I said in 1994, I will stand for re-election
 for the citizens of the Fourth District of Oklahoma and let them
 judge me on election day,'' he said Monday.

 When Democrats in the House produced a document showing
 his support of term limits, Uncle O.J. said, "I honestly don't know
 if I did or didn't'' sign such a pledge, Watts said Monday.

Remember, Uncle O.J. is the man who said,
"Character is when you do the right thing
 even when nobody is looking," so it doesn't apply
 when he breaks his word with everybody watching.

I'm not real sure what this is,
but do you think he's talking about the Pigboy?

Subject: James Lee Burke's novel "Dixie City Jam"

The hero Detective Dave Robicheaux, describes a television show
he saw while investigating neo-Nazi's trying to take over the US.

        "I sat down in the living room by myself and stared at the television
screen.  A gelatinous fat man, with the toothy smile of a chipmunk, was
denigrating liberals and making fun of the homeless.
His round face was bright with an electric jeer when he broached the
subject of enviornmentalists and animal rights activists.
His live audience squealed with delight.
        Eighteen million people listened to him daily."

Yep, that's our Pigboy.

First Poll Results

We prefer the  Old Format      73.3 percent
We prefer the New Format     27.7 percent

The polls are still open.

Major GOP Panic

From: gaverr@mail.cvn.net

Subject: Elephant whine

Found some more of GOP National Chairman Jim Nicholson's
whining at other repubs for not sending enough money.
The Republican wailing continues.

A month after the party's treasurer sent out a letter chiding
"missing in action" GOPers, party Chair Jim Nicholson has fired off
a new memo asking former donors if they've skipped town.
"Generally, can we count on your vote and support as a Republican
rather than a Democrat?" he pens in a letter sent to a former Bush
administration official who has donated to the cotton-candy son.

"It was rude," says our tipster.


 From: "Bert, Beth, Rachel and Michal" TheGang@BrehmFamily.net

 Subject: New Format or Old Format.

 Dear Bartcop,

 OK, I'm being a pain because I don't like either format for
 the very reasons that you just explained. Everybody else in
 the newsletter business puts out a SINGLE ISSUE everyday.
 You'll always confuse the readers by adding a little bit to some
 previously published issue. Besides I haven't be able to
 figure how or when you decide when to move the 'Latest Issue'
 to the archives anyway. Vol 1, Vol 2, etc. don't mean anything
 to me.

 Just scrape together your thoughts in one single self consistent
 little message and put it out there. Use the date as the name of
 the file. Then I can easily find my place in the archives because
 the browser marks any previously viewed URL in a different color.


 I am not aware of any other daily, one-person political humor
 newsletters in cyberspace, but I'd hate to hold back a hot story
 because I didn't have a full issue to "print."

 I tried it that way for three years, and what was the result?
 A wrecked ship and a dead crew.

 Whoops, sorry, that's a Star Trek episode.

 Still, I see your point.
 I'll continue to search for an answer.


 The Final Days of Pigboy

 From:  watsmata4u@monmouth.com

 Subject:  The Fall Book

  The NY radio ratings came out today and Piggie headquarters didn't
 fare well. Howard went from a 7.6 to a 9.0. His nearest competition is
 a spanish music station with a 6.2. WABC, who fired my pal Lionel
 (eyada.com) last year from the morning show, continued the nosedive
 to a 1.7 share with the new morning show holding down 20th place.

 Hannity is hanging on to 15th place in the afternoons (they promo him
 as the drive time king) with Opie and Anthony in 14th, but their show
 is just picking up steam. Hannity is in trouble. Bob Grant, who is
 syndicated and a freaking nut, lost listeners but beat Hannity.

 In the all-important 10AM to 3PM slot, its Lite-FM in the lead
 with a 7.5, the world famous oldies station WCBS-FM in second with a 5.1.
 If we scan down the list, we see a tie at 3.6 between Stuttering John,
 who does a mid-day request show of the worst music and Pigboy.

 8th place.  Tied with Stuttering John.
 How fitting.
 Maybe it's Limba fatigue.

 You can see all the the ratings at  New York Radio Message Board.

Best Line I Heard so Far Tonight

Bob Woodward on Larry King:

George Bush's problem is he's got to stop being himself.

ha ha

Damn, I wish I could write that good.

More Poll Results

We prefer the  Old Format      56.2 percent
We prefer the New Format     40.7 percent
  Undecided/Don't Know          3.1 percent

The polls are still open.

Listen to the "Experts"

Bill Bennett, (Still Smoking)
"The Bush people are calling this a bump-in-the-road.
 Turns out that bump was the Matterhorn."

Jeff Greenfield on CNN:
Six months ago, when Governor Bush was in the 60's and
John McCain had three percent, NOBODY saw this coming.

You know better, don't you...

You read  bartcop.com

February 2, 2000

Leno Hammers Governor Blow Monkey

Tuesday, night, after Blow Monkey Blew New Hampshire,
Leno did an funny on him that might reproduce, I dunno.

I guess we'll do the audio first, while it's loading, minimize it
and catch the pictures. (This may blow like the governor)

Leno sets it up


ha ha

The O'Reilly Whore

How did the O'Reilly Whore take the Gov. Smirk humiliation?

Click here

Hey, O'Reilly,
How many "K's" does it take to spell, "Panic?"

ha ha

The GOP bet $60,000,000.00 on an empty goddamn suit.

You don't think the whores of the press know what blood smells like?
The Fox Network and the EIB are on Shark Patrol.

Koresh, this is going to be so ugly.

What John McCain went through in Vietnam?
That's nothing compared to what they're going to do to Dubya.

His poor mother, crying on CNN afterwards.
It's going to break a lot of hearts.
I've been to the future - seen all this stuff on television already.

Poor Barbara.
It so sad.

ha ha

ha ha

Just look at this clueless ditto-monkey.

Here's a question:

If Governor Smirk and Linda Tripp were both running for
"Dead Animal Pick-Up Shovel-Handler,"

...which one would get fewer votes?

ha ha

Great Landslide Quotes

"I think we've finally seen a vote without a margin of error."
  -- Tuesday's big winner, John McCain

More Great Quotes

That Gary Bauer woman, who finished last again, told reporters
before flying home to Virginia, "I'm delusional, but I'm no fighter."

Question for Gov. Smirk

Is you learning anything from your humiliating defeat?

Koresh, I can't wait to hear Pigboy squeal how,
"This wasn't a loss for Bush at all."

Still More Quotes

"All those folks who are voting for Bush because they think
 he's a winner are actually sticking us with a loser,"
 Alan Keyes told the Goffstown Rotary Club.


On Politically Incorrect, Bill Maher had Michael Moore on from
New Hampshire. During his report, he related how he supposedly
asked Shrub what it was like to have come up the big loser.

(ha ha)

Shrub supposedly shot back "Why don't you get a real job or something?"
to which Moore replied,
"I dunno, are my SATs low enough for me to work for you?"

The Return of Fatty Feedbag!
 Limbaugh's Brave Battle with "Dunlop Disease:"

Rush Limbaugh has gained his weight back.
Just like Oprah, he shot his mouth off and became
Mr. Diet Expert. Now, he's fat, lovable Rush again.

"The wife and I got to harass Rush Limbaugh last Friday as he
played in the Bob Hope pro-am celebrity doings," an L.A. talk show
host told me in Loon-E-mail.

"The old ladies here went wild over the Rush-ster!
He was sporting quite a bit more belly than he had the past year.
I think he has that old NASCAR 'Dunlop' disease.

That's where your belly done laps over your belt!"

Gov. Smirk Attempts Post-Disaster Spin

"McCain may've won the Independent vote,
 but I am winning the Republican vote."


Maybe it depends on how you define, "am."

Sorry, Blow Monkey.
Exit pools show McCain got 44 percent of the GOP vote,
and you only got 33 percent, you smug-ass loser.

What's bigger, Governor?
44 percent or 33 percent?

ha ha

Still More Fun Quotes

From: sabutai@ix.netcom.com

"George Bush couldn't get a clue if he was in a field full of
 horny clues during the clue mating season and he smeared
 his body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."

  -- Someone who knows Bush well

The Christians and the Lyin's

The man who's such a super-Christian that he's one of the
Jesus Twins is telling big, fat lies back in his home town.

Steve Largent is telling people he "hasn't decided" if he's going
to keep his pledge and serve just three terms or throw his "word"
into the Arkansas River and wallow in his political power, instead.

"I just can't decide," he wants us to believe.
This has all the sincerity of "I have to look at all the evidence
before I can decide to vote guilty on impeaching Clinton."

Everybody in America knows he's going to run,
yet this "Christian" is lying his ass off.


Was Christ a big liar?
BartCop says, "No."

Is "Christian" Steve Largent a big lair?
BartCop says, "You bet your ass."

Why don't you Christians get tired of religious phonies?
All he's go to do is say, "I'm a super-Christian,"
and he's free to tell one big lie after another?

If I was a Christian, by God, I'd take it seriously.

Largent's co-Jesus twin, Tom Coburn, also gave his word.
In 1994, Coburn said, "I'll serve three terms and leave."
You know what?

Tom Coburn kept his word.
Isn't that amazing?
A Christian who kept his word?
I respect a man who keeps his word.

Did Uncle OJ keep his word?
No, the lying SOB.

"Yes, I promised I'd only serve three terms,
but I didn't put it in writing."

So, if you ever deal with Uncle OJ, make him sign something.
His word is good only if you remember to keep your receipt.

Home Sales Hit Record Year in 1999

 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. consumers bought new homes in December
 at a faster than expected pace, the government said on Wednesday, in a report
 which showed the housing market enjoyed another record year.

 For the entire year a record 904,000 single-family homes were sold,
 up 2.0 percent from 1998's 886,000 units sold, which was the previous record.

 When Reagan and Butch were in charge, NOBODY bought homes.
 Between the recessions, the layoffs and high interest rates, how could they?

 Owning your own home is part of the American Dream.
 Bill Clinton - who promised to focus like a laser beam on the economy,
 made the American Dream come true for over 6,000,000 Americans
 When Bill Clinton makes a promise, unlike certain Christians, he keeps it.

 Thank you, President Clinton.

Stop the Insanity

I went to  http://news.excite.com/news/poll/  to see
the results of their stupid-ass poll on "Clinton's Economy."

Forty-five percent of these brain-dead maggots say Clinton
has had NOTHING to do with the current economy.

You gotta be flatin' the Pigboy to believe that.

I guess this same bunch would say Kurt Warner had
NOTHING to do with the Ram's Superbowl victory?

The driver of the boat has NOTHING to do with it's direction?
How much can a ditto-monkey hate Bill Clinton,
to not even give him that which is his?

You'd think the most intense Clinton-haters in America would say,
"Clinton can't get ALL the credit for the economy," but noooooo.

Do these uneducated donkeys think Clinton rewired every voting booth
in America and that's how he won re-election?

The America voter clearly gave Clinton credit for the economy,
so somebody explain to me how the Internet community
can be so out of touch with "sane and normal" Americans.


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