Vol 192 - Welcome to Miami

April 20, 2000

 Bail Mag

 From: duash@home.com

 Subject: duh

 Uh wuh?

 Could you use a glass of water?
 Or perhaps some intubating?

 So you want to legalize pot right/ Or just decriminilize it?

 If Phillip Morris produced joints, say, twenty to a pack for $6, cancer deaths
 would soon drop by 300,000 a year, cancer victims would gain weight and
 thus live longer, crime would drop by half and domestic abuse by two thirds.
 Since it costs $1 or less per pack to produce, we'd take $4.00 in per pack
 in taxes and could throw it at Reagan's debt.   On the cover, Mr. Zipp could say,
 "Smoke and joint and make America stronger."

 Hell, even DWI's would fall because pot would be cheaper than beer.
 So yeah, I'd go with that.

 Is it Ralph Nader you want?

 Do I want Ralph Nader?
 Compared to who?
 Compared to Smirk?

 Compared to Gore, no.

 Just because you are more creative than the nazis
 (if there really are any) does not make you any closer to the truth.

 Who said anything about the truth?
 This isn't about "the truth."
 You must be new here.
 If my Bush joke is better than your Gore joke - I win.
 Nobody reads this and says, "He's right! I'm voting for Gore!"

 Hate is negative and boring no matter who it comes from.
 Duane Ash

 Is it better or worse than e-mail that fails to make a point?


 Hard to believe, but there is news about Steve Kangas.

 Click Here    Be sure to read the two accompanying articles, too.
                        I didn;'t know Steve was a former Army intelligence officer.

 Thanks to Marc Perkel, the next Republican senator from Missouri.

One of the all-time great bumper stickers.
I'm trying to find out if they're for sale.
I need one

 VCR Alert

 From:  watsmata4u@monmouth.com

 Subject: Sam Greenfield

 Please be sure to watch Hannity and Colmes Friday nite when Sam is on.
 He is on the air today preparing himself.
 He is ready to cut Hannity down to size.
 Callers are calling in asking him to destroy the idiot.

 I dont get FOX so I need a report on how m'man does. Trust me, you'll
 like him. If he can work in radio with his voice, anyone can.

 Speaking of radio, Stern had this to say this morning. A caller asked
 what he thought of Rush wanting the MNF job. Stern proceeded to call
 Ruch a bloated slob and a few other choice names and then said something
 like " I know Al Michaels personally and he dispises Limbaugh"

 That is the best news I've heard all day.

 by jennyQ1@aol.com

Mail Bag

From: (withheld)


I didn't know Heather Locklear was a Nazi.
I will no longer masturbate to her pictures.


ha ha

That'll teach her...

Elian's Father Pleads for Help From American People

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The father of Elian Gonzalez appealed on
Thursday for the American people to help get his son back from family
members the boy has been living with for the last five months.

Juan Miguel Gonzalez accused his relatives in Miami, who want to stop
Elian from returning to Communist-led Cuba, of abusing the child
by keeping him away from his father.

"It pains me to see what they are doing with my son
 and the abuse they are committing,'' he said.

"My son is a child of only 6 years. He's a boy like any other boy,"
 Gonzalez told reporters outside the house where he has been
 staying in suburban Washington.

"Please, anyone who has feelings,
 anyone who knows a father's love for his son, help me.
 Don't let them smother this in politics.
 It's just a father and a son,'' he said.

 I have a question:

 Today is Hitler's birthday,
 yet Rush is working.

 Can anybody explain?

Bush Backers To Talk About Clean Air Rules
 By John Mintz
 Washington Post Staff Writer

Several state environmental officials who have struggled fiercely against
tougher federal air pollution regulations plan to meet next week with top
executives of polluting industries to discuss how those standards might be
loosened if Texas Gov. George W. Bush (R-Smirk) wins the presidency.

We don't need clean air?
We don't need clean water?
How many times has Rush whaled,
"The Democrats claim that we want dirty air!"

And when these delusional pricks think they might win the White House,
first thing on their list is how to fuck up the cleaner air Clinton gave us.

We know what Houston looks like.

Do we want America to look like that, too?

What a Nut!

Rush seems to think that since Ernest Hollings was governor of
Carolina in 1962 when the Slaver flag went up, that Smirk
shouldn't be held accountable for promoting it in the year 2000.

Your Pigness,

Did you know that in 1962 we didn't even have a Civil Rights Bill?
We had segregation in 1962, you ignorant slut.

The idea that Ernest Hollings might have been racist 38 years ago
does not excuse Smirk and the GOP from being racists today.

Why don't you understand what the voters understand, Rush?

Rush opened his third hour telling people not to listen to their family doctor.

He said all that crap about eating non-fatty foods was "just a bunch of lies
from the same people who claim the Earth is getting warmer."

He called them, "the same people who tell all those lies about the
combustion engine being the cause of pollution."

I saw the same article in USA Today that he did,
but telling people to ignore fiber because their doctor is lying
makes me wonder how our side has ever lost an election.

By the way, General Oink, HERE'S THE LINK that shows the polar
icecaps melting, and here's what the internal combustion engine does.

Great Piggy Quotes

El Pigbo just said,

"Janet Reno ordered the incineration of those children at Waco."

I believe it, don't you?
I can hear her now:

"Don't you come back here until every one of those
  innocent little babies is charred beyond recognition, dammit!"

Yep, Pigboy is using God's talent well.

 BartCop - Punisher

is getting lots of advice on how to beat Hillary.
 Heather Locklear has written something for George magazine
 giving the little kitty advice on how to beat Hillary.

 Heather Locklear is a Republican?
 Heather Locklear wants Hillary to lose?
 She must be punished.

 I can think of a fun way to do this, too.
 I'm going to run some, shall we say, unflattering pictures of her, including
 the only known topless picture. Unlike most pictures that have been posted
 on  bartcop.com  I can verify that these pictures are all real..

 You women won't like this, but action must be taken.
 Since you have to click to get there, you don't have to
 see Heather's punishment unless you really want to.

 Click Here

 Precedent is Everything

 From:  HARTMANM@state.mi.us


 You appear to have left out an important part of your analysis
 of the recent 11th U.S. Circuit Court ruling.

 Their ruling also cited the 1985 case of Walter Polovchak. In this case, the
 7th U.S. Circuit Court explicitly stated that the 12-year-old Polovchak was
 "presumably near the lower end of an age range" of maturity to assert rights
 separate from his parents.

 Elian Gonzalez is only HALF that age.

 Doesn't THIS information appear to indicate that, in considering Juan Gonzalez
 the only "proper representative" to speak for his son, the INS did, in fact,
 consider the relevant factors? Is it possible that the INS took this previous
 ruling into account before making their early decision?

 I see an inherent contradiction in 11th Circuit Court's ruling and their
 citation of this earlier "landmark" case.

  Vengeance Is Mine, Says Starr’s Successor
     by my good friend Joe Conason

   The other day Robert Ray—the prosecutor appointed to succeed former
   independent counsel Kenneth Starr in the six-year-old Whitewater-Foster
   suicide-Travel Office-F.B.I. files-Rose Law Firm files-Monica
   Lewinsky-Kathleen Willey investigation—announced that he may seek to
   indict Bill Clinton after the President leaves office next January. Evidently he
   is in no hurry to complete the legally required reports about the long list of
   pending probes left behind by his predecessor. Instead, he apparently
   considers it his primary duty to vindicate Mr. Starr.

   Even the editorialists at The New York Times, who strained to excuse the
   excesses of the Starr investigation, think that Mr. Ray’s proposed adventure
   is a bit much. Richard Posner, the ultraconservative legal eminence from the
   University of Chicago and no friend of the President, has written that the
   prospect of a Clinton indictment next January is far-fetched.

   Winning a felony conviction of Mr. Clinton might lie beyond the reach
   of the most persistent prosecutor. Would he be charged with perjury?
   He certainly lied, but the independent counsel would have to prove beyond
   a reasonable doubt that the President’s prevarications were actually
   material to the Paula Jones case.

   Would Mr. Clinton be charged with obstruction of justice?
   Given what we already know about the grand jury testimony of
   Ms. Lewinsky and others, an obstruction count would be equally hard to
   prove. Had the independent counsel really believed that Vernon Jordan
   or Betty Currie were lying about the Lewinsky scandal, he could have
   indicted them two years ago and tried to induce them to testify against
   the President. Evidently there was insufficient evidence to support any
   such theory, no matter how fervently Mr. Starr may have believed it.

   That leaves the Kathleen Willey affair, in which Mr. Starr and his deputies
   attempted to show that someone associated with the Clinton White House
   had tried to intimidate her from testifying about the alleged Presidential grope.
   But Linda Tripp, Mr. Starr’s other star witness, severely undermined
   Ms. Willey’s credibility when she swore that Ms. Willey had desired a
   romantic involvement with the President.

   Yet Mr. Ray may not be discouraged by such factual obstacles.
   It must be tempting to make history as the first prosecutor to indict a
   former President; and if most Americans would not approve, there is still a
   small and very powerful minority who would applaud loudly. Conservatives
   who once tried to justify the pardon afforded Richard Nixon—a man whose
   crimes in office make Mr. Clinton’s peccadilloes seem vanishingly insignificant
   —now admonish us that "no one is above the law."

   Based on Mr. Ray’s previous service, he may indeed become the perfect
   champion of that unreconciled faction. Prior to taking over from Mr. Starr,
   he served as chief deputy to Donald Smaltz, the independent counsel who
   spent years and millions in the bumbling, intensely politicized and ultimately
   unsuccessful prosecution of former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy.
   While Mr. Espy was found innocent of accepting an illegal gratuity from
   Tyson Foods, the giant Arkansas poultry processor, others caught up in
    that probe didn’t fare as well.

   One of those unfortunates was Archie Schaffer. As a Tyson official,
   Mr. Schaffer invited Mr. Espy to two events in early 1993: an inaugural
   party and a birthday party for company chairman Don Tyson. On that basis,
   Mr. Ray charged Mr. Schaffer with violating the Meat Inspection Act, a
   statute whose true purpose is obvious from its title—that is, to punish
   butchers who try to bribe federal inspectors.

   Mr. Ray won a conviction of Mr. Schaffer, which was overtuned on appeal
   by the trial judge. Among other problems, the judge noted that the
   Meat Inspection Act doesn’t cover the poultry industry.

  (Ediotr's note: ha ha)

   He ruled that "no rational trier of fact" could find that Mr. Schaffer had
   tried to influence Mr. Espy’s official actions.

   Two months after Mr. Schaffer’s conviction was overturned in
   September 1998, the former Agriculture Secretary was acquitted on all counts.
   That repudiation by the jury, however, didn’t dissuade Mr. Ray from seeking
   to punish Mr. Schaffer on the flimsiest grounds. He sought and won
   reinstatement of the conviction, even though the aims of the investigation
   had been permanently thwarted.

   Just weeks ago, Mr. Ray once more demonstrated that he is ruled by a
   vengeful impulse, well beyond any necessity to uphold the law. He personally
   appeared in a federal courtroom in Virginia to oppose Julie Hiatt Steele’s plea
   for reimbursement of the enormous costs of protecting herself from the
   mad-dog prosecution of her.  Under Federal law she is entitled to such assistance,
   but Mr. Ray thinks the destitute single mother should be denied it.

   The prosecution of Ms. Steele was a low point for the Starr office,
   but Mr. Ray appears doggedly intent upon "vindication" there, too.
   Such poor judgment is a bad omen for the heavy decisions that still await

 Ask BartCop

 From: pwh011s@mail.smsu.edu

 Subject: blind bastard quotes

 Near the beginning of the second hour Rush said this:

 "This has been the finest two weeks in the history of the EIB network.
 When you're a professional, you know when you're doing well
 and you know when you're not.

 Unless you're an insecure mass of quivering jello,
 which of course I'm not."

 Um, has Rush ever said one of his shows was bad?



 My sources say no.


 All Elian, All the Time

 First, doesn't it seem odd that these things always drag on forever?

 It started with Tanya Harding.
 It went on and on and on and on.

 Then it was OJ.
 Oh Lord, will this OJ crap ever finally be over?
 The first OJ trial was so highly-rated, they managed to squeeze out a sequel.

 Then came Clinton's cock, the most important story in human history.
 When the Martians land in 2026, it'll be on Page Two because some
 money-grubbing whore will be making a no-proof claim that day,
 and the papers will run with it "because it might be true."

 Now we have Elian.
 It's never going to end.
 This poor bastard has already had his life ruined.
 If this kid is raised in America, he'll never hear the word, "No."

 His only chance at normalcy would be to return to Cuba and even then,
 Castro will make him a celebrity and he'll never have a normal life.
 The poor kid is screwed either way.
 To make things worse, he has Dan Burton as an ally.

 And what's with that 3-judge court of jesters?
 I looked them up.

 This is so wild, I've never heard of it before, but the court made their
 decision without hearing from both sides.  That's weird and crazy.
 The court used a videotape of a six-year old being held by a group
 of people he's never even met as "evidence."

 That's insane!
 You can't do that.

 After seeing the probably-bogus videotape, the idiot court said,
 "Not only does it appear that Plaintiff might be entitled to apply
 personally for asylum, it appears that he did so."

For all the court knows, they told Elian,
"We're going to make this tape, and you better say what we told you to say
 or we're taking your toys away and no more McDonalds for you!"

...so the scared little boy makes the tape.

The court decided Elian wants to stay.
So, what if a four-year old says he wants to stay in America?
What if a German three-year old likes visiting Disney World so much,
he says, "I don't ever want to go home?"

Some relatives can snatch him from the parents and petition the court?
And the court says the kid stays until they have hearing next month?
The Father hasn't even been allowed to see his kid.

There's a word for this kind of reasoning.
It starts with "horse" and it ends with "shit."

Didn't we used to have the best legal system in the world?

 Last night, I watched the tape of the OKC ceremony.

 Clinton, as always, was magnificent.
 I don't know if you caught any of it, but after some expected remarks,
 he slowly started turning the message from horror to a brighter future.

 He closed with "cast off the darkness and put on the armor of light."
 He had a big smile on his face and seemed to be telling Oklahoma
 it was time to get back to living and looking forward.

 He got a really enthusiastic response from the crowd afterwards.
 The local paper called it, "upbeat," and "a noisy celebration of overcoming."
 A lesser politician wouldn't have done as well as The Master.

 A couple of observations:

 They had the good sense to keep that human shitball Sen. Pissquik away.
 He likely would have scolded the survivors for being late that day.
 What a worthless fecal nugget that son-of-a-bitch is.
 I really don't know why they re-elect him every time,
 unless his overwhelming, intense and undisguised hatred for Clinton
 is what Republican voters find so goddamn attractive.

 The private, morning ceremony began outside.
 At the conclusion, Air Force jets did a low fly-over.

 I'm a patriotic type of guy.
 I always get a charge out of seeing the jets do a fly-over.
 When you combine our computers, our Pratt & Whitneys,
 and the best and bravest pilots in the world, we own the air.
 Can't nobody fuck with us - nobody!

 Of course, the cameras missed the damn jets.

 They ALWAYS miss the jets.
 Even when they know the jets are coming,
 even after hearing the roar a few seconds ahead of time,
 the professional cameramen ALWAYS miss the shot of the jets.

 Closing on a positive note, and this didn't come up yesterday, but
 privately, they're saying Tim "government-is-the-problem" McVeigh
 won't see New Year's Eve 2001.

 I hope they use a dirty needle.

 Do you remember that November Las Vegas trip where
 I had the legal troubles with Mrs. BartCop's Touring Sedan?

 Before we left town, we had a mechanic double-check
 the car to see if it was good for 2800 miles.

 The idiot mechanic said there was "no problems,"
 yet we had to spend over $1000 to get home.
 (The problem was manifesting itself before we left,
   that's why we took it to him for a check-up.)

 I open today's K-Drag Daily and see his picture on the front page.
 He told some friends he wanted to murder his wife.
 The friends called the cops,
 the cops called the wife,
 she poured catsup on her face,
 climbed in the trunk of a car,
 they took pictures,
 showed them to the idiot mechanic,
 and he paid them $1,000.
 They arrested him.

 He's so guilty, Ol' BartCop couldn't get him off.
 Goodbye, Sonny.

 Chelsea will be out of office 15 years before we see you again.

 Sad Goodbyes

 From: CNS_230@webtv.net

 Subject: Have to say good-bye

 Barbara Olson called last night...told me if I didn't stop reading
 BartCop....I would be held down and forced to have sex with her......
 I sure you can undestand I have no choice.......

 My wife is in the "Witness Protection Program"
 if you are reading this Mabel....call home !!

 ha ha

 My sources tell me she gives oral sex to plastic clowns.

April 19, 2000

 Wild Crazed Bastard Quotes

 "Even tho the courts have ruled Janet El Reno can't steal Elian,
   I wouldn't put it past her, or this administration, to try something."

 Have you ever heard such wild fucking rhetoric in your life?

 This nutty bastard, with talent on loan from Almighty God, is warning
 the religiously-insane Cuban Catholics in Miami that "Waco Janet"
 is coming for the "Christ Child" with bad intentions on her mind.

 The FCC lets this son-of-a-bitch broadcast this nutty hate speech,
 but Howard Stern has to pay a fine for saying the word "penis?"

 Since God asked Rush to give them that important message,
 how in Christ's name can that message be ignored?

 ...and when this whole logpile crashes, killing hundreds,
 God will have Rush reveal it was all the fault of Bill Clinton.

 Who Wants to Be...

 Did you see Regis Tuesday night?
 One of the "Fastest Finger" questions was,
 "Who has had the most spouses?"

 How many of you knew immediately that this man,

Larry (Eight-Wives) King was first?

 From:     The Boot Newt Sing Along Page

 Subject:  George F(ool) Will rated below Chippy The Chimp?

 "Arithmetic suggests Clinton might be the fourth president since 1976
 to be defeated...In 1992 he carried only four Southern states other
 than Arkansas....Judging by the Democrats' 1994 collapse in the South,
 Clinton should assume he starts his re-election race with his margin
 of electoral votes reduced to 59.

 Since the 1994 elections Republicans hold the governorships of eight
 of the nine most populous states, with 218 electoral votes....
 In 1994 Clinton's party lost 52 seats....Democratic House strength is
 below 200 for the first time since the80th Congress ended in 1948.
 Clinton must again win the 54electoral votes of California,
 which has voted Republican in nine of the last 11 presidential elections."

 GEORGE F. WILL, Newsweek, October 30, 1995 on why
 Clinton will lose in 1996:

 George Will is always wrong.
 Not only is George Will more stupid than Chippy the Chimp,
 I'll bet he's even more stupid than Smirk - and I'm not kidding!

 PS: Good luck on Newt coming back!

 Now he says...

 That he knew "all along" that the judges were going to rule
 in favor of screwing Elian's father out of custody,
 "but I didn't want to say anything."

 ...and the sheep buy it.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Now, he's mocking Admiral Borda for committing suicide.
 Has toilet-mouth ever passed up a chance to mock the dead?
 Once in his miserable fucking life,
 has he ever passed up a chance to play with a corpse?

 There's no doubt Elian wants to stay in America.

 Of course he does.
 He's got the brains of a Republican right now.
 They gave him every toy but a pony!
 McDonald's, Nike, MTV, unlimited candy,
 Of course he'd rather stay.

 Are you going to let a doctor examine you that hasn't seen you?


 Elian's Dad doesn't even own a suit.

 He should lose his kid for that?

 From: BSmasher@flash.net

 Subject:  THE LEG

 I was going to write up a lengthy rant and rave why the Murrah Building was
 blown up and all the people I felt were responsible for motivating Dummy to
 do what he did. As I reflected on the bombing and the five years since, I
 thought about the leg. Someone's leg was found and never matched to any of
 the bodies. They buried the leg. Who was this person? 168 people, 8 unborn
 children and 1 leg. Pardon my tears, I am working on forgiveness today.

 Since I live in Food-Phone, near Oklahoma City, I thought about going to the
 memorial and there would be our Senator, Jim Inhofe.

 I want to yell, "Hey Jim, how many federal workers are playing hooky today?"
 But, I am trying to practice forgiveness today.

 I was a mortgage broker in those daze. I got up that morning and was
 going to go down and see my jack booted friends at HUD.
 I knew the office manager, couple of the secretaries and a few of the appraisers.
 You know HUD, the oppressive government agency that helps make affordable
 home loans to millions of Americans. I had to see a couple of the appraisers
 on paper work stuff. I turned on the radio right before I left and after listening
 for a while, it seemed I wouldn't be needed at the HUD office that day.
 My anger is starting to well up at the thought of my friends that I lost,
 so I need to remember I'm into forgiveness today.

 It was a ground level blast.
 Most of the people killed from the blast were on the first and second floors.
 Then as the building collapsed, some were killed in the fall. A friend had her
 three year old at the day care at the YMCA. His face was horribly cut up
 by the flying glass.

 Bombs don't kill people, people kill people.
 I just tell little Timmy try and turn that glass scarred cheek, neck, face,
 and we will practice a little forgiveness today.

 You know Mr. Dummy #2 lives here in town at the Federal Transfer facility.
 He has a private room. He's scheduled to go on trial for murder. We have the
 death penalty here, we use it, and #2 slipped by on his federal charges
 without getting the death penalty, so we are going to see if we can get him
 convicted of the killings and slip him the needle.

 Personally, I would like to see our state let all three dummies loose.
 Yep, just let them go.
 Of course we want maximum public relations/media hype on the time
 and place of letting them go. I think the whole matter would be settled
 in a few short hours at a very minimal cost to taxpayers.
 In fact, I KNOW the matter would get handled quickly.
 I am just trying to forgive today, so let's set those dummies free!

 Let's not forget Vernon Howell, stage name David Koresh ascending
 into heaven seven years ago today. We are remembering all his follower
 victims and the law enforcement personal that lost their lives that day
 because of another misguided individual. I was going to try and get
 Carol Howe to drive a yellow Ryder truck into downtown Oklahoma City
 this morning, but I'm trying to practice forgiveness today.


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 From: Nmmeeks@aol.com

 Toward the end of the first half hour Captain Jeeprot read an e-mail
 from one of the ditt-heads who dislikes golf & cigar chat.
 After spending a few moments calling his fan a loser and the like,
 the ass-master claims that he talks about cigars and golf to prove
 he's not a sexist, racist, or homophobe.

 Although I cannot make the connection between these,
 apparently in his cyst impacted brain in makes sense.


 Captain Jeeprot?

 ha ha

 VCR Un-Alert

  Tonight's Biography is a re-hash, retread repeat of David Koresh!

 More Whining

 Uncle Oink is screaming at the state of Arkansas because they
 have some pro-Dixie flag law or something.

 Hey, Pigboy!

 Governor Huckabee is a super-Christian Republican!
 Go scream at him.

 Remember, this is the same idiot who held up tornado relief funds
 because Arkansas law considers tornadoes "acts of God."

 Please, Lord, deliver me from your fans.

 From: Tim_Ebben@edm1.com

 Subject: History Clearing

 As a liberal sysop, I feel you and your readers should know that
 clearing your browser history is only the beginning. If you use a
 modem, then browser history is the only history, if you have a dedicated
 line (i.e. T1, ISDN, etc), then you probably have a firewall. The way
 that most companies monitor employee internet usage however is much more
 difficult to clear. They us what is called Firewall - URL logging. The
 firewall machine at whatever company you work for is a machine that sits
 between your companies network and the internet to prevent the wrong
 people from hacking your network via the internet. Most firewall
 software commercially available has URL logging that will tell exactly
 which files were pulled from the internet by which employees at which
 times and which URLs were visited. It's turned off on our firewall, but
 you can bet most companies is not. Please take precautions, as the only
 way to clear this history is to have access to the firewall, which most
 users do not.


 Court Rules Elian's Father is Unnecessary

 That kid doesn't need his father.
 He needs an gaggle of alcoholic cousins, instead.

 Fun With Uncle Oink

 "There's no way anyone can say Elian has been mistreated
  without interviewing him, personally."

 So, since I've never met Rodney King,
 he wasn't mistreated by the LA cops?

Fun With Anagrams

Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 El Pigbo just yelled at an e-mailer for sending him
 an e-mail "with cheap perfume" on it.

 You could hear him crumple some paper.
 Then he said he was going to tear up the e-mail and shred it.

 Excuse me, estúpido feo cerdo, but if that was an e-mail,
 the cheap perfume belongs to you or your staff.

 Why is Marta letting you out of the house?
 Does she want you to push yourself too far?
 Does she want you to have a bigger stroke?

 Is Florida a community property state?


 Want to cast a ballot in a poll?
 If you go to www.fadetoblack.com  they have a poll asking,

 "Which phrase heard on the radio makes you believe
   quicker that you are listening to a moron?"

  Mega Dittos Rush!                                38%

  Can I hear a block of  98 Degrees?!     61%

 We can't let the vulgar Pigboy lose this, can we?
 The poll only goes till Saturday.

April 19, 1995


President Clinton:  Tell me what you need.

Governor Keating: Mr. President, we need everything.

 Subject: April 19th

 a personal memory of April 19th
 by Christine Bollerud

 APRIL is the cruellest month,
 breeding Lilacs out of the dead land,
 mixing Memory and desire--TS Eliot

 For many of us here in Oklahoma, April is indeed the cruelest month.
 For  though the redbuds are in bloom, blood still stains that small child
 in the arms of the firefighter in our memory. Though the sun is out
 and it calls out it's new season, it's rays will never shine so brightly
 for those who lost someone on that day.

 I didn't lose a person.  I lost THE DAY.
 I didn't know anyone who died, but every year, that day is marred for me
 where it had before been a happy day--it is my daughter Niaz's birthday.
 April 19th had previously been celebrated in flowery parks and musical
 skating rinks by our family and friends as the day we were blessed
 with a special little girl.

 Niaz was only ten years old when the Murrah Building was bombed--but it's
 impact was not lost to her. She didn't feel right going through with any
 birthday plan we had but sat numbly in front of the television and watched
 and watched until she couldn't watch anymore.

 She cried for all the children whose mommies and daddies didn't come home.
 She prayed for all the parents whose children were taken from them.
 She made sure I turned on my headlights during the day like every other car
 in the state of Oklahoma until the last body was recovered. And when we
 finally made our pilgrimage to the building site the night before they tore it down,
 Niaz stood in silent reverence with about 100 strangers bonded for life.

 This is the first year Niaz is celebrating the day she was born--on the day
 she was born. She never felt right doing it before--always the day before
 or the day after. She is 15 now and a more compassionate young lady you will
 never meet. She will always feel the of pain and loss of this season--it will
 never escape her-- but she also knows that growth and renewal must eventually
 spring from it. Though death is our constant shadow-- life does go on.

 Happy Birthday, Niaz.

 By: CBollerud@aol.com



April 19, 2000

Fun Smirk Quotes

"I was raised in the West ," Bush declared Friday.
"The west of Texas . It's pretty close to California.
 In more ways than Washington , D.C., is close to California ."


Well, we got hosed on Biography doing Laura the Unloved last night.

They more than implied this was an update, but the
60-second introduction was the only thing that was new.

It would be nice if Biography was above prostituting themselves
so people like me wouldn't remind people like you to catch the update.

 Rocker for President?
 Atlanta stands to cheer for return of John Rocker

 ATLANTA (AP) -- The cheers began slowly in the eighth inning.
 A small group of fans, dangling just above the Atlanta Braves' bullpen,
 spotted someone familiar getting up to throw.
 One man unfurled a sign, ``Rocker For President.''

 By the ninth, just about everyone at Turner Field was part of the
 John Rocker lovefest, all 34,903 of them. They generated such a
 crescendo of noise that even his teammates were caught off-guard.

 "I was a little surprised," third baseman Chipper Jones admitted.
 "I didn't really think it would be quite to that extent."

 The harshest reactions are most likely to come in New York,
 where Atlanta meets the Mets in a series beginning June 29.

 Already, photocopied fliers have been passed out at Shea Stadium
 advertising "John Rocker Battery Day" for Atlanta's first series in
 New York, where fans are still outraged by the pitcher's infamous
 interview in which he dissed foreigners and homosexuals with AIDS.

 ha ha

 Battery Day?
 He's going to need a football helmet to pitch.

Great Show-Biz Quotes

"What part of naked bongos don't you understand?"
  -- Matthew McConaughey's T-shirt

Do you make a lot of money?

You Gotta go Here


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