Vol 201 - Men's Shirts, Short Skirts

 May 10-14, 2000

 The Frasier Quiz

 For the answer to the quiz,  Click  Here

 If you haven't seen it yet, check below.

 Some of the best music ever made is Pink Floyd's The Wall.
 skisics surus  at  skisics@yahoo.com  is putting this political season,
 more specificially His Smirkness, to music from that great album.

 I've had that whole album memorized in my head for twenty years.
 Reading these words, I can hear the music, and it sounds great.

 This is the final installment of what's written so far.
 It won't be completed until Gore's landslide.

The Wall by Pink Floyd
In the Flesh?

        ....They want Bush?

So you
Thought that
Smirk was ready for the nomination.
To try to win the race even
Though he has no real qualifications.
So are you really that delusional, huh?
Do you really expect us to vote
For a real jerk who has ridden his daddy's name
All the way through his life cause he has no shame.

        Roll the sound effects!

The Thin Ice

The GOP loves Smirk
And hates that guy McCain
They think Shrub can win the race this time
Even though he's done nothin?.
But oooooh baby
0oooh baby Bush
Oooooh Babe.

If you should nominate
A man thin on integrity and guts
Dragging your party along
And catering to the right-wing nuts.
Don't be surprise when cracks appear in your ranks
And the voters slip away.
The GOP is really out of it's mind
And should fear the backlash
When the voters go to the polls.

Another Brick in the Wall Part 1

Bushy lost the first primary.
Exposing his lack of ability.
McCain has all the momentum
What can the Smirk give the GOP?
How will Bushy lead the GOP?
Through it all, Bush wanted to bawl.
Through it all, Bush just wanted to bawl.

      You! Yes, you! Go negative!

The Happiest Days of our Lives

Now they are certain people who
Want to take money from our school
To pay for their private school needs.

They already have a choice
But don't want anyone to voice
The obvious signs of their deceit and their greed.

So they frame the debate and say it would be great
For all of us to give them tax breaks while public
schools starve without any fight.

Another Brick in the Wall part 2

Your kids don't need an education.
Support voucher plans and then you?ll know.
We Republicans need your tax money.
So our private schools will continue to grow.

Hey! People! Give us all your dough!

Don't you know, we don't want to pay our way.

Don't you know, ours costs we want you to defray.

We don't need your explanations.
We just need support for public schools.
Just go away and pay your own bills.
Why do you want to play us for fools?

Hey! People! Leave our schools alone!

Don't you know, we don't want to pay your way.

Don't you know, your costs we want you to pay.

        Wrong, Do it my way!
        If you don't vote for Smirk, you can't have any vouchers.
        How can you have any vouchers if you don't vote for Smirk?
        You! Yes, you in South Carolina, vote for the Smirk!


Daddy do you think I should go negative?
Daddy do you think I should call McCain a Lib?
Daddy do you think I should go to Bob Jones?
Or daddy should I just stay home?

Daddy just what is a president?
Daddy just what is a government?
Daddy will they ask me about Cocaine?
Daddy what about McCain?

Hush, now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Daddy's gonna hire all of his buddies for you.
Daddy's gonna make all of the decisions for you.
Daddy's gonna keep you in the right wing.
He'll let you lie and not do the right thing.
Daddy will keep the reporters away.
Ooooh baby, Ooooh baby, Ooooh baby,
Of course your Daddy will show you the way.

Daddy, do you think McCain's better than me?
Daddy, do you think anyone should really be free?
Daddy, will the reporters finally look?
Daddy, just what is a book?

Hush now baby, baby don't you cry.
Daddy's gonna hire all of his operatives for you.
Daddy and his buddies will sling mud for you.
Daddy will help you yet again.
Daddy will clean up where you have been.
Daddy will make you look clean.
Oooooh baby, Oooooh baby, oooooh baby,
You'll always have me on the scene.

Daddy, where is Bob Jones?

Goodbye Blue Sky

        Look mummy, there's Dubya in Bob Jones!

Did you see Dubya give a speech?
Did you see Dubya start a breech?
Did you ever wonder why Dubya spoke in front of
religo-nuts in a back
Water state like South Carolina?
Did you see Dubya give a speech?
Did you see Dubya start a breech?
The catholics are gone and McCain lingers on.
Goodbye, your guy
Goodbye, your guy

        The Michigan primary is now approaching.
        The primaries arrival....

Empty Spaces

What will Dubya use
To fill the voting places
When McCain starts to click?
How will Dubya
Make up for his
Embarrasing speech that distanced catholics?

Young Lust

I am just a baptist boy
I was just kidding around.
Where are all the catholics?
Who's gonna vote for me in this town?
Oooh, I need a token catholic
Oooh, I need New York

Will someone take pity on this lad?
Who could make Michigan alright?
I'll write a lame ass letter
Should have done sooner, in hindsight.
Oooh, I need a token catholic
Oooh, I need New York

        [Phone rings..Clunk of receiver being lifted]
                Yes, a collect call for the Pope from George W.
                Will you accept the charges from United States?
        [clunk! of phone being put down]
                Oh, He hung up! That's your emminence, right?
                I wonder why he hung up?
                Is there supposed to be someone else
                there besides the pope there to answer?
        [Phone rings again...clunk of receiver being picked up]
                This is united states calling, are we reaching...
        [interrupted by phone being put down]
                See he keeps hanging up, and it's a man answering.
        [whirr of connection being closed]

One of My Turns

Day after day, I lie away
Like father before me did.
Night after night, I snort everything in sight.
The voters are growing smarter
And I am finding it's harder
And lying is just not working anymore.
I feel I need to change my message.
I'm boldly going to steal
What I can from McCain.
And nobody will care.

Running to the right,
It and the voters are starting
To buy into my positions.
Don't need to worry now,
The party bosses are delivering.
It's now Super Tuesday
And I'm pulling away
I'm going to win this
Somehow, my dad saved the day.
Wow, I'm really going to win.
He's just a passing whim.

Now I've got to go and try
To convince the GOP that I
Can pull in McCains votes.

(Applause for  skisics surus)

 Great Nazi Quotes

 "Every move President Clinton has ever made as president was only
  made to distract the American public from his various scandals."
   --  The Vulgar Pigboy

 Ok, Rush, let's test your theory:

 Why don't you tell Larry Klayman and Trent Lott and Barr and Burton
 and all your butt-buddies to stop the endless, fruitless hearings and
 harrassing subpeonas and pointless investigations and let's see what
 this president does when you're not hounding him 24/7/12/8.

Big Picture, Little Picture


            WASHINGTON -- W. may have gone too far this time.

                 Americans can forgive him not knowing that Gen. Pervez
          Musharraf seized power in Pakistan.

          But can we forgive him not knowing that Sarah Jessica Parker quaffs
          Cosmopolitans in Manhattan?

          So he thinks the Taliban is a rock band. We can live with that.
          But he's never heard of "Sex and the City"?

          Now there's an ominous lacuna.
          Americans actually care about TV.

          A reporter for Glamour magazine, David France, interviewed Governor
          Bush on "women's issues" by playing a game of "verbal Rorschach":
          "I was rattling off names and concepts, and he was telling me the first
          thought that came to his mind." (W. still likes to live dangerously.)

          Mr. France said "Phyllis Schlafly." Mr. Bush replied, "Icon of the
          conservative right." Mr. France said "Madonna." Mr. Bush replied,
          "I'm not into pop music." Mr. France said "Gloria Steinem."
          Mr. Bush replied, "Uh, pioneer."

          Mr. France said "Sex and the City." Mr. Bush's face "blistered in a
          purple fury," and his eyes narrowed and glowered. The candidate
          clearly thought he was being challenged on his claim of monogamy
          or support of teenage abstinence.

          Gordon Johndroe, Mr. Bush's press aide, tried to clear up the confusion.
          "Governor," he said, "it's an HBO television show."

          "We've been on the campaign trail," Mr. Johndroe told Mr. France

          But even when the governor is home, he told me in an interview last
          October, he doesn't go out to the movies or watch much TV -- except
          sports. He doesn't ordinarily look at political talk shows or late-night comics
          or network series or TV movies, or even zap around with his "flicker," as
          he calls it, to get a feel for what the country's talking about.

          He may be the only Regis virgin left in America.

          "Culturally adrift," he cheerfully confessed.

          Those who are brainy about global issues are often not up on pop culture.
          And those who know about the Wu-Tang Clan may not know the
          intricacies of the World Trade Organization. But it's rare to get someone
          who has zero curiosity about either the big picture or the little picture.

          Mr. Bush has Condi Rice and a raft of coaches to prop him up on foreign
          affairs. But, as Broderick Crawford said of Judy Holliday's Billie Dawn
          in Born Yesterday, "Who's going to buy the kid some culture?"

 Treehouse Down?

 Some people have asked,
 "BartCop, why are you shutting down the treehouse for a few days?"

 Well friends, I might as well tell you the truth.
 I'm going to have some surgery, nothing too serious, tho.
 The last time I had a hampster in my butt, he bit my small intestine
 and caused an infection which has caused my rapid weight loss.


 Sorry, that's Pigboy's excuse for missing so much work.
 He calls it "elective surgery," but when your ass is infected,
 I imagine it really hurts like a son-of-a-bitch,
 so I suppose the "election" is a landslide for fixing it.

 Actually, I'm taking Mrs. BartCop on a surprise mini-vacation!
 She doesn't read  bartcop.com  so it'll still be a surprise.

Special Message  to  andre@zbzoom.net

While I'm complaining about sheep not having the cojones to debate,
you're secretly harrassing the young ladies who contribute to bartcop.com

Why don't you be a man and talk to me instead of bothering the women?

What are you, a Republican?

  Canada Slams Laura over Gay Comments

 OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canada's official broadcast watchdog Wednesday
 issued a damning indictment of controversial U.S. radio host Laura Schlessinger,
 saying her anti-gay views could trigger violence against homosexuals.

 The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council (CBSC) condemned Schlessinger
 for referring to the sexual behavior of gays and lesbians as "abnormal", "aberrant",
 "deviant", "disordered", "dysfunctional" and "an error".

 The CBSC said her comments -- which it variously described as "clearly pejorative"
 and "fatuous and unsustainable" -- had violated Canada's broadcast code.

 "The sexual practices of gays and lesbians are as much a part of their being as
 the color of one's skin or the gender, religion, age or ethnicity of an individual," it said.

 "To use such brutal language as she does about such an essential characteristic
 flies in the face of Canadian provisions relating to human rights."

 The watchdog noted that professional psychiatric and psychological associations
 felt Schlessinger's views were more than a quarter of a century out of date.

 Who knew Canada was so anti-Republican?

 Mail Bag

 From:  astod@frontiernet.net

 Subject: ditto monkeys of the RNC

 Dear Bartcop,

 Regarding the Clinton bashing done by Laura and Rush, is nothing
 sacred to these people that they have to spew their venom at the solemn
 occasion of a truly religious man?

 For God's sake (pun intended) it was a FUNERAL!

 I wonder how pro life these ditto heads would be if genetic testing
 could prove the baby was going to be a homosexual!

 Well, since they are all pro-death penalty, they could always wait
 for the child to be born and send it to Texas.
 It is really sad what people do in the name of God.


 Astod, how true.
 I thought about that, but never got it into words.
 They see nothing wrong with using the lifeless corpse of a
 fallen leader to beat on the presidency of Bill Clinton.

 Oh, sure, you can say it was O'Connor's eulogy, but then again,
 they could've taken the opportunity to remind churchgoers that
 O'Connor fought like crazy to shut women out of the Church.

 Knowing the president and the president-elect were both there,
 the Church could've shown a little restraint, but then again,
 if they had, they just wouldn't be Catholics now would they?

 Remember Clinton's trip to Africa?
 They used the Body of Christ to beat on him.

 Ol' BartCop would never use the Body of Christ as a weapon.
 I guess I just have too much respect.

 PA Gov Could be GOP's Ticket
  Headline in USA Today

 Today's USA Today has a half-page saying Tom Ridge is everything Smirk's not:
 - a Vietnam veteran with a Bronze Star
 - a man McCain can respect
 - a self-made man
 - a Catholic
 - a baby-killer

 Gee, I wonder if Tom Ridge went to O'Connor's funeral?

 Pigboy and Laura the Unloved forgot to mention that not only does Smirk
 have a baby-killing mother, he's considering a baby-killing running mate.

 What does the GOP base think about Tom Ridge?

 "If Bush picks him, Bush will lose," says Phyllis Schlafly, plum-pruned ho.
 "A pro-choice Catholic is PARTICULARLY Offensive."

 Hey, Phyllis.
 Ease up on the Catholic hatred, will you?
 Where'd you go to school?
 Bob Jones University?

 "I'll support a baby-killer on the ticket, but most Christian activists won't,"
 says Pat Robertson, Mayor of the Munchkinland Mental Midgets.

 USA Today also says Ridge's librarian wife, ready to marry Ridge when
 he went to Vietnam, but instead married while he was away, but dumped the guy
 when Ridge came back and "rekindled" their romance.

 Gee, I wonder when she told him?

 ha ha

 This is perfect!
 USA Today says: a virtual unknown nationally, Ridge hasn't been in a national poll
 since Bob Dole (May he rest in peace) considered him for VP in 1996.

 Oooooooold time BartCop readers might remember this, from Volume 40.


Maid: Governor Ridge's residence, may I help you?

Caller: Bob Dole's office calling.
            Is Governor Ridge in?

Maid: Yes, I'll get him.

Ridge: Hello?

Dole:   Governor? Bob Dole here.
            How's the weather in Pennsylvania?

Ridge: It's fine, Senator. It's cloudy and....

Dole:   Cut the bullshit.
            I need a vice-president. You want the job?

Ridge: I ....I can't do it, Senator.

Dole:   Goddammit, I'm not a Senator.

Ridge: I can't do it, Mr. Dole.

Dole:   Why the hell not?

Ridge: The way the Republicans went after the Clintons...
            Well..... we're about to lose control of both houses,
            and I can't survive four years of payback.
            It's really going to be a bitch, this payback.
            We set a precedent with these witchhunts.
            Revenge is a cold, dark, son-of-a-bitch.
            The Democrats will serve it to us on ice, Senator.

Dole:   Stop lying about my record!
            I'm not a Senator!

Ridge: I'm sorry, Mr. Dole.
            I just can't do it.

Dole:   You've GOT to do it.
             I've called every Senator, every Representative and
             every Governor in the GOP and they're all giving me
             the same bullshit. They're afraid of a few skeletons.
             You're all acting crazy.

Ridge: So...
            You called me dead last?

Dole:   The important thing is your place in history.

Ridge: Are you kidding?
            My place in prison, you mean.
            Who could survive the anal-probe vivisection of every
            campaign contribution accepted in the last 30 years?
            Who's entire history of tax returns could survive an
            assault by a majority-appointed special prosecutor with
            unlimited power, unlimited scope, unlimited money
            and unlimited ambition, not to mention free publicity?

           You know they're going to look at every deal you've
           ever made, every partner you've ever had, every single
           transaction made by every partner you've ever had,
           every tax return of every partner you've ever had.
           Then they'll look at all the people your partner has
           ever done business with and link them back to you.
           Then, they'll look at the tax returns of everyone that
           ever did business with your partners, and THEIR friends.

          Christ, Senator, do you have 1099's for every worker
          you've ever hired to mow the lawn or skim the pool
          or wash your car dating back to the goddamn sixties?

          You don't, do you?

          You have copies of green cards for every maid, butler
          and driver who ever worked for you, even part-time?

          You don't, do you?

          How in the hell do you think you're going to survive questions about ADM?
          What if the press finds out about the boathouse in Kansas?
          What if they look at Florida?
          If they find out who paid for your condo, you'll die in prison.
          You're in big trouble, Senator.
          You can't possibly survive an ethics probe.
          Why would you subject yourself to this?

Dole:   I'm 73 years old, you idiot.
            And don't call me Senator, goddammit.

Ridge: Sorry, Senator...I...I..mean Mr. Dole,
            but do you know anyone that can survive that?

Dole:   Sigh.....
            No, I see your point.

Ridge: Sir, could I ask one favor?

Dole:   Sure, what?

Ridge: If you win, can you forget you know me?

Dole:   I understand.
           You know something?
           This is all Newt's fault.
           Newt and those goddamm freshmen screwed me again.
           Jesus, I'm getting a sore ass.

           What do I do now?
           You have any great ideas?
           How to I get passed this?

Ridge: You need someone who's already been under fire.
            Someone who's already run the gauntlet.

Dole:   Thanks for the advice.
            Goodbye, Governor.
               (Hangs up.)

- - -

Dole aide: What now, Mr. Dole?

Dole:   Well, I can't stand the idea of this,
             but I guess Governor Ridge is right.
            Bob Dole's not getting any younger.
            Bob Dole can't wait any longer.
            Bob Dole only has one choice left, only one option.

              (Bob Dole picks up the phone and dials a number,
               dialing slower than any call he's ever made in his life.)

Voice: Hello?

Dole:   (Slowly.....haltingly.......shaking.....)
            Bob Dole, here.

            Can we talk?

 ha ha

 We gotta have a Smirk-Quayle ticket.
 We just gotta!

 Great Okie Quotes

  Limbaugh only lacks three things to become one of
  America's finest broadcasters:  integrity, vision and wisdom.
   -- The Oklahoma Observer newspaper

 Thanks to Joankitty

 Ditto-Monkey See, Ditto-Monkey Do

 Laura the Unloved just read the fax from the RNC ordering her to ridicule Clinton and Gore
 for being pro-choice at O'Connor's funeral. She used the exact same words Pigboy did.

 Like Pigboy, she competely ignored the FACT that the Church is anti-death penalty,
 and the FACT that Smirk leads the Western goddamn Hemisphere in legal murders.

 Like Pigboy, Laura completely ignored the FACT that Rudy, perhaps Rudy's whore
 and Smirks Mama for sure, are all baby-killers.
 Laura is a whore, getting paid to have a point of view.

 Remember Susan Carpenter McWhore?
 Some pro-life money-grubbing organization paid her $100,000 to represent their
 beliefs that "baby-killing" is such a terrible, unconscionable sin, and then it came out
 that Susan McWhore had had TWO, count 'em TWO abortions.

 When she was caught, remember her reply?

 "They PAID ME to represent them."

 Same for Laura the Unloved.
 She's being PAID to fabricate lies about Clinton, and she's being paid well.

 On Fox Whore News Sunday, they said her salary is $12,000,000 a year,
 and this is AFTER she was paid $72,000,000 for the rights to her hate show.
 It's the American way.

 Turn whore, then sell your voice and your principles as tho you mean it.
 Call Clinton crazy names and fabricate thousands of wild accusations
 and we'll pour millions and millions into your bank account.

 When it's all over, take your top off, get on your high horse
 and turn your nose up at "the little people."

 Listen to This, Eddie

 One of my all-time favorite political slogans was on
 bumper stickers all around Louisiana in 1991.

 "Vote for the Crook!"

 That was the Democratic cry when "the crook," Democrat Edwards
 was running against Republican David Duke, "the Klansman."

 "Please, God," Louisiana was begging.
  "Give us anybody but a GOP Klansman, please!"

 Edwards won that election.
 Good for you, Eddie!
 And good for the people of Louisiana.

 This time, they found Edwards guilty of a crime involving money.
 Usually when they catch a Democrat, fur is involved,
 but Eddie is old, 72, like a Republican, so that explains that.

 Your Honor, don't give Eddie too many years.
 Maybe if the judge is a Republican, he'll realize the favor Eddie
 did for the GOP by defeating David Duke, the GOP Klansman.

 The Prankster Surfaces, sort of

 From: lyingpig@mail.rushonline.com

 Subject: You're Mistaken

 Mr. Bartcop,
 I saw that you called me a sissy for not wanting to debate you.
 You are wrong.
 I will debate you.

 You're already off track.
 The scared little bunny at rushonline.com is the sissy afraid to debate me.
 Since you claimed to be him, I asked you to post something on "your" website
 to prove it was you, so, when I kicked your ass, the REAL scared bunny at
 rushonline.com couldn't claim I whipped an imposter.

 Since you were unable or unwilling to do that,
 your bona fides as a fraud have been established.

 Unlike you, I have a sense of fair play.
 I didn't want to whip a fraud, I want to whip the real thing.
 I'd whip the Pigboy, himself - if he would enter the arena,
 but the gutless whore hides behind his little microphone, instead..

 I did not receive a reply to my earlier e-mail and saw nothing on your site
 when I initially checked back so I naturally assumed that YOU had
 chickened out on my offer to correct your erroneous views.

 200 Issues online, and you figure I'm "too chicken" to stand and fight?
 ha ha
 How much more militant and in-your-face could I be?

 No, I replied by e-mail and it was returned as "undeliverable."
 If you had used a real address, instead of hiding behind a fake,
 you would've had my answer long ago.

 I had not been visiting your site all that often since so please excuse me
 for not accepting your challenge earlier, I just was not aware of it.

 I'll excuse you, but again - if you're hiding behind a fake address,
 how else could I respond if not thru my page?

 Although I am somewhat new to your site I think I can
 hold my own in a debate with you providing that:
 1. You post it all, my comments and yours
 2. You are honest

 First, you have suggested that this is a prank. It is not - I am here
 and will remain to debate as long as you choose.

 Second, I am not a 'ditto-spank' (I assume you mean an admirer of Rush
 Limbaugh) and do not much care about Rush or his politics. The e-mail address
 serves only to catch your attention in what must be a crowded mailbox.

 Since this is an anti-Rush page, it will be difficult, but not impossible
 to debate with you. I've tried this a dozen or two times in the past,
 and usually I get in a debate with someone who ends up being pro-choice,
 or who admits Clinton has done a pretty good job, and it's hard to
 debate when we agree. That's why I specifically need a ditto-spank.

 Now for the heart of the matter-

 I have accused you of lying. Although I don't have the exact quote,
 you said something to the effect that "their 1600 year old jokebook
 tells them to hate gays"

 I say, prove it!
 Show us WHERE the "jokebook" says this.

 I am not a Biblical Scholar.
 I don't know my Bible inside and out.
 I really only know what the religious frauds quote from the Bible.

 My position is that, what you call a "jokebook" says nothing of the kind.
 In fact it says just the opposite.

 OK sissy, your turn.....


 By the way, what should I call you?
 Lying Pig?
 That seems inappropriate, considering we already have one of those.

 So, it's your position that when they (I could give you a loooooong list)
 go into that hate-based riff about "Hate the sin, love the sinner,"
 that's not a Bible-based order to attack gays?

 Why would the Bible order you to "hate" anyone or anything?
 When did Jesus use the word "hate?"
 Was Jesus a hater?
 I don't believe He was.
 Do I have a higher opinion of Jesus than you?

 Falwell, Robertson, Reed, Laura and the others hide behind the Bible,
 and tho they won't come out and say it, they imply that if not for the Bible,
 they'd have no problem with gays.

 They CONSTANTLY say, "Because the Bible says so,"
 when they are pinned into a corner with science and logic.
 Why else would they need to play the "Bible says so" card?
 Because it's a wild card, in the truest sense of the word.

 As long as your personal Christ Lord God and Holy Savior says it,
 what words can a logician use to change your mind?


 When Laura the Unloved justifies her hatred of gays, she ALWAYS
 begins with religion, and I quote from yesterday's USA Today, page 10D,

 "From a profoundly religious point of view, my concept
   that a family made up of a mommy and a daddy
   is in the best interests of raising children."

 From there, she blames her religion, her faith and her Holy book for her
 pathological hatred of anyone born with a gay gene in their body.

 Instead of daring me to come up with an instance of Bible-based hatred,
 a shorter journey would be for you to find a gay-basher that didn't mention
 or hide behind the Bible, the 1600-year old joke book for weak people
 who can't make it without invisible angels helping them thru the day.

 Tell me, are the kind folks at  godhatesfags.com
 another exaggeration of wild-rhetoric BartCop?

 Wait - let me guess:

 Those folks aren't "true" believers,
 as tho God would trust YOU with a list of the "true" Christians.

 No matter how you slice it, your side is the side of hate.
 You don't even have the brains to be LAZY about it
 and leave the other guy alone with his gayness.

 You could stand on the ground and live and let live.
 But nooooooooooooooooooooo.
 You gotta climb a tree and scream hatred in God's name.

 That makes me better than you, and in a very logical way,
  it makes me a better Christian than you, because I'm telling the hate-free truth.

 Suck on that...

 That new movie, Gladiator?

 Why are there tigers in that movie?
 Were they cheaper to rent than lions?
 Have you ever heard of the tigers and the Christians?
 They spend $120,000,000 on this film, and got the wrong animal?

Maybe it's a great film, but why tigers?

 Drew Carey

 I forget who was defending Drew Carey when I called him
 "a Clinton-hater," but last night on P.I., he called Clinton a "sociopath."

 Seven-of-Nine (Jeri Ryan) was on, too.
 She's a Clinton hater.
 And then there was "fair and balanced" Bill O'Reilly from Fox Whore News.
 No need to ask his opinion, and some English dude was on, possibly a former
 member of Duran Duran, so Bill Maher was the only guy defending
 the best president this country has ever had.

 So, Drew, blow me.

 ...and Seven-of-Nine can film it.


 Laura the Unloved just asked her staff
 for the correct spelling for the word  "Duh!"

 Speaking of the unloved, you know how your local TV stations
 turn so-much-more-whore than usual for the sweeps rating periods?

 Tonight on the K-Drag ABC affiliate,
 they're promising a report on "Dr. Laura's Guilt!"

 I'll let you know how it turns out.

 Speaking of whores...

 NBC has always been the tackiest whore when it comes to promotion.
 They have the legal right to promote any of their shows any way they want.


 Ten days ago on Friends, they showed a clip of Tom Selleck telling Monica,
 "I can't stop thinking about you," and then they cut to Monica begging a
 very distraught Chandler "to please try to understand!"

 The obvious impression was Monica was blowing off Chandler,
 but those two clips weren't even from the same goddamn episode.


 When Homicide was the best show on television, the producers were
 constantly complaining that NBC would cut the previews in such a way
 to give the viewer the exact opposite impression of what really happened,
 and they felt bad for the fans because when the truth showed up,
 it seemed as tho Homicide was jerking their fans around, not NBC.

 Well, hopefully, NBC has done this again.
 Two weeks ago I was all charged up because the White House staff
 on West Wing decided that they were going to risk the second term
 by fighting the evil Cro-Mags on the issues that really counted.

 The final installment of the three-episode story arc runs tonight.
 The promo that NBC has released for this week?

 "The president nervously awaits poll results."

 Koresh, what a cliff-hanger.

 I'd really hate it if the West Wing squandered their great freshman year
 by waiting around like scared bunnies waiting for some poll results.

 Let's hope NBC is just being the whore.

 More Limba Truth

 From:  stubby_rodriguez@yahoo.com

 Subject: pro-life

 In "Typical Limbaugh Truth" you say that:

 El Pigbo is whining about how shamed the Clintons and Gores were
 at Cardinal O'Connor's funeral when whoever was speaking said
 the Catholics must always be pro-life.

 I heard the man speak and he also mentioned that pro-life meant
 anti-death penalty. These remarks were followed by a standing ovation
 which forced everyone to their feet.

 Who do you think hated standing up more?
 The Clintons who support the right of a woman to choose,
 or GWB who killed a man every two weeks for the last 5 years?


 Stubby, excellent work!
 I didn't hear the sermon, so I didn't know.
 All I got was Limba's pig-version, which was a giant lie.
 And when did a pro-choicer ever have that smug-ass look on his face saying
 "I'm confident every fetus deserved termination" the way Smirk did?

 It's one thing to be pro-death penalty.
 It's another to be so goddamn pleased with yourself for killing a man
 every two weeks during your tenure in elected office.

 Who's the bigger ass?
 Pigboy or Smirk?

 How About a Quiz?

 I watched a Cheers rerun last night.
 Can anybody tell me who played Frasier's mother?

 I'm pretty sure she was only in this one episode.

 Here's a BIG clue:
 She threatened to murder Diane Chambers.

  From:  MShemo@ipbtax.com

  Subject: Tuesday's Dr Laura Broadcast

  Laura made a crack about Hillary Rodham Clinton -- something to the
  effect that she would call herself "Laura Catherine Schlessinger."

  But wait a minute -- if Dr. Laura were to emulate the First Lady,
  she'd take her husband's name, and call herself "Laura Schlessinger Bishop."


 You have a point.
 If Hillary had the ego-run-amuck of the Laura Whore,
 Chelsea's name would be Chelsea Rodham.

 It takes twelve tugboats do dock Laura the Unloved's ego,
 plus, she's such a bought-and-paid-for slut.


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