Doesn't it figure?
Latrell Spreewell chokes his coach, Rush hates him.
Bobby Knight chokes a player, Rush defends him.
What's the difference?
Bobby Knight is "a white guy with a lot of passion."
Latrell is just "an out-of-control nigger."
The fax from the RNC told them to cloak their racism,
but it's so hard, so terribly hard to do.
That K-Drag burglary of the THIRTY Mac-10 machine guns?
That was only the tip of the iceberg.
Since the house belonged to "a gun collector,"
they say there were so many guns in his house,
so many kinds of boxes full of many kinds of guns,
boxes that now lay open and empty on the floor,
that it'll be a while before they even know how bad it is.
We don't need any new gun laws.
The ones we have now work fucking perfect!
Is there a limit on the number of guns a "collector" can own?
Does anyone know if there's a limit?
If the Gates-devil wanted to own 30,000 machine guns, could he?
I sure wasn't expecting THIS
KRoMaG radio reports a West Knuckledrag home was just burglarized
What did the thieves get?
THIRTY Mac-10 machine guns.
I guess this is another example of how gun laws don't work?
How about a law that says you can't have THIRTY machine guns
poorly-stored in your fucking home?
Child of the Eighties
Laura the Unloved just read a letter from someone saying
a New York
incest victim couldn't press charges because the law only outlawed
"intercourse," with children and the crime here was oral sex.
Of course, that gave the paid-for whore a chance to launch on
as tho Clinton had committed some sex crime.
"Now we see that Clinton has infected the New York court system,
so sex isn't sex, and incest isn't incest and is isn't is because of Clinton,"
were the words the She-thing used to launch this paid-for Clinton attack.
No, you ignorant slut.
The New York laws were in place long before Clinton was
but you knew that before you fabricated that ridiculous charge.
There's a phrase a fat man once used, "Words mean things."
I'm not endorsing that asshole father's assault on his daughter,
but if the law is written poorly, it's not Clinton's fault.
It seems we have to go over this again!
When Hardon Kenneth's boy asked Bill Clinton if he had sex with
Clinton said, "Please, if you would, define your terms."
Then the judge read long long, convoluted definition that specifically
EXCLUDED oral sex, so Clinton told the truth and said, "No,"
because words MEAN things, expecially in a court of law.
Funny, how the slut-whore Laura the Unloved can take a
New York law and then blame Clinton for the criminal's incestuous attack.
Once again, we prove that Laura the Unloved doesn't care
about that little girl
who was attacked. She can't make any money defending some poor child
who was a victim of incest. Scaife doesn't write checks for that.
But Laura can make over a million a month blaming Clinton for
committed by a criminal who lives in a state with poorly-written laws.
Meanwhile, she's Harpo Marx when it comes to Mark Chmura,
well-known, Clinton-hating Republican ditto-head who raped a child.
"He's four times my size," the child
"What could I do?"
You see, Scaife won't pay for factual Republican rapist's denouncements.
He only pays for Democrat assertions of wrongdoing.
Laura, put your legs together.
You're making me sick..
While researching that Fatima story, I found much Catholic wackiness.
As you all know by now, the Catholics use this wacky "point system,"
to decide who goes to hell, Purgatory or Heaven to be with God.
A while back, I wrote that the Catholics offer certain guarantee.
One guarantee of which I was aware is the one where if you attend
nine first-Friday masses in a row, they will guarantee you a priest at
your bedside as you lay there dying.
This is a guarantee.
A guarantee from the Catholic Church should mean more than
guarantee from Sears, from the federal government or anybody.
Remember, former-Catholic George Carlin did this bit about,
"So if you're in the jungle, or in the Alaskan tundra or in the Australian
outback, where will you find a priest?"
The Church's answer was always, "Somehow, a priest will be there."
Being the Doubting BartCop, I'm sure what they mean is,
"If there's no priest there when you die, you're free to raise the issue
with the angels on the other side, sucker...."
Yeah, as if...
Anyway, while researching the Fatima miracle, I ran into another
This one is much cheaper/easier to get than the nine first Friday's guarantee.
The Catholics are big on saying the Rosary.
For the unsaved, a rosary is to prayers what
Sam's Wholesale Club is to the grocery store.
You get a chain or a rope and tie beads on it and link it with
Now, everytime you say ten Hail Mary's in a row, counting on your beads,
you break the monotony with The Lord's Prayer. The whole series takes
about 30 minutes. Five rosaries in five months also equals a priest at
your bedside when you die and that's a guarantee!
So, we're back to the math game: Assuming you don't
want to spend
eternity burning in Hell with Paulie Walnuts, you have two choices:
You can spend the nine months attending first Friday mass,
or you can spend five months and say the rosary five times.
So my question is, who in their right mind, ...wait, let me start over.
Why would anybody risk the extra four months doing the
first Friday mass
thing when you can get the same guarantee in only five months?
Where's the logic?
I can just see some poor bastard walking towards church for his
first Friday mass, only to have God play that lil' trick and send that truck
hurling towards him, denying him his place in Heaven for all eternity like the
way some major corporations lay you off two weeks before your twenty-year
anniversary to save the expense of the gold watch.
Where's the logic?
If that poor bastard had taken the five-month rosary route to
he'd be in Heaven playing football with Bud Wilkinson.
He went with the nine first Friday's and now he's stuck in hell
with Paulie and Christopher's dad, being shot in the head every night.
One last thing (applause...)
I know Catholics.
I know how they think.
They build in these loopholes, like the loophole where Ted Kennedy
or Rudy the Plunger can trade in their high-mileage wives for a newer model
even tho that's considered a huge, irrevocable sin in Catholic Dogma.
The loophole they use is simply having the marriage annulled.
Twenty years, eight kids - no problem.
There was no marriage.
So, let's say you're John Glenn.
You're in your seventies and you're on the Space Shuttle.
You have chest pains.
You're having a heart attack.
You're dying, but you have that Catholic guarantee.
What do you do then?
You have NASA put a priest on the phone and he gives you absolution
from Earth, which the Catholics will say counts, even if he's not really there.
Trust me, this is how it works.
So that begs the question:
If the priest doesn't really have to be there, why don't
the Catholics rent
some satellite time and broadcast absolution constantly over the airwaves
for those five and nine month Catholics who aren't near a priest?
For that matter, why don't they just offer the eternity in Heaven for all
because they want God's children to be happy and together forever?
You know why they don't do that?
Because there's no collection plates in outer space, that's why.
The Catholics can't make any money if they give the tickets away.
They're in the business of selling tickets to Heaven, stupid.
Today's issue is stuck in my Zip drive.
As always, Iomega.com says they'll get back to me in a few weeks.
The green light stays on, the yellow light just blinks.
When I hit "Eject," it just clicks.
I hate basketball, let's get that on the table first.
If Michael Jordon isn't telling gravity to "Bite me," there's no reason for me
to watch a basketball game, but aren't we all ashamed of Indiana University?
You talk about some whores!
They don't care if this maniac is choking kids or throwing things
at secretaries or screaming "you fucking maggot" at some 17-year old.
Indiana wants to win, at any cost, so they keep this madman.
This sick bastard has been out-of-control for 30 years,
and now they tell him they have a "zero tolerance" policy?
IU, thy name is whore.
Sometimes I feel like, thru attrition, I'm becoming the voice
and morality in this country, and that means we're all in real trouble.
Subject: Roller Coaster Congress
Today Congress is holding hearings on whether
or not we need federal laws
governing roller coaster safety.
Are twelve children per day dying on our
nation's roller coasters?
Are roller coasters a leading cause of death among young people in this country?
Do we have 10 times the death rate on roller coasters of any other
Did a million moms march in support of roller coaster legislation?
This is just the first step before they take away all amusement rides!
Founder and only member of the NRA (National Rollercoaster Association)
Don't let Congress take away your right to the Pursuit of Happiness!
Assuming you're serious, I'm very pro big-government for rollercoasters.
Recently, USA Today printed a grid showing every state's position on safety.
Some states require yearly inspections.
Some states require NO inspections.
Some have local inspectors, some use federal inspectors.
Some inspect every week, some every month, some every 90 days.
This is BULLSHIT.
I don't know what the standard should be, because that's not my
But why should a RC in West Memphis be safer than a RC in Memphis?
Why should Six Flags in Missouri be safer than Six Flags in Texas?
The GOP sees this as a "state's rights" issue.
Fuck state's rights!
Why not put safety first?
Someone smarter than me, (those people are easy to find) should
determine how often steel cracks and inspect as frequently as needed.
I'll bet some airline people could be hired to do these inspections.
But it it total horseshit for some states to protect those
and some GOP-controlled, "less-government" states decide that the
RC operator is the best person to decide when inspections are needed.
If a $10,000,000 rollercoaster isn't safe, and it's Labor Day,
some operators will gamble they can make it to the end of the season.
As a roller-coaster enthusiast, don't you want safety first?
USA Today reports that 1/3 of New York voters say Rudy's troubles
"diminish his stature." Then they say he and Hillary are statistically tied.
How can you win a close race if you lose 1/3 of the vote?
Laura the Biological Error
Mark McGwire watches his 536th career
home run fly over the center field wall.
McGwire is now tied with Mickey Mantle for all-time homers.
Thirteen more and he'll pass Philly slugger Mike Schmidt.
You just gotta love baseball.
When George Will's not at the game,
there are no whores in baseball.
(Now that Rickey Henderson has been cut loose)
Make it Stop
Something else I keep hearing, from the
vulgar Pigboy, mostly,
but also from Tony Blankley on McLaughlin last Sunday.
"The big story isn't McCain endorsing Smirk.
The BIG story is Bradley's failure to endorse Gore."
Tony, that's horseshit and we both know it.
If Bradley had kicked Gore's ass all over the place,
like McCain did to Smirk in New Hampster and Michigan,
and if tens of thousands of new voters and crossover voters
had all come out to vote for Bradley, you might have a point.
...and if Gore accused Bradley of killing breast cancer research,
and having the Wiley brothers do an end-run around campaign
finance laws to buy Smirk a New York victory with dirty ads,
you might have a point.
...but none of that happened, did it Tony?
Bradley never was a threat.
As stated here, Bradley was either a dupe or a pawn.
He was never anyone to be taken seriously, so his big, gaping
non-endorsement is a big non-story, you paid-for-whore.
Lars, We Hardly Knew Ye
It's only a two-minute load, and it's damn good!
No, it's REAL damn good.
Thanks to Kevin Alexander
The Liberal Media, Destroying Rudy
Subject: Liberal media
Rush was complaining today about the whole liberal bias in the
how they're smearing the shit out of Guiliani.
I decided to check a few websites to see who was giving it the
coverage. Lo and behold, foxnews.com, newsmax.com and drudge
all made a big deal about it. CNN.com put it at the bottom of their list
and USAToday.com didn't even have it on their front page.
With all the ranting by His
Bloatness and his followers, you would
think it was on page one and the top headline everywhere.
This is just one example, but it seems to me that the biased liberal media
is all made up by the right wing media.
Bill Clinton's Legacy
The National Debt Clock, for years a potent reminder
of the Reagan/Butch excesses, has run out of time.
For more than a decade, the clock has measured the
minute-to-minute decline of our country as it slid further
and further into debtor's prison, and then along came Bill.
Now, the numbers have stopped climbing.
Go ahead, stare at the clock - see if it increases.
Matter of fact, they're going fucking backwards as the
buys back it's debt for the first time in seventy goddamn years!
Oh, sure, the Republicans and much of organized religion and the
slimy whores of the press will INSIST on making Monica Lewinsky Clinton's
premier contribution to this country, but decent Americans know better,
and the honest religious people know better.
(There are some honest religious people, right?)
Thank you, Bill Clinton, for saving us from the Reagan Error.
Existing Gun Laws
Since last week, I've heard at least 100 times,
"If they would only enforce existing gun laws."
Excuse me, but aren't there 38 GOP governors?
Why aren't they enforcing state laws?
Are the cities and counties and states waiting for the
big, bad federal government to tell them what to do?
Are they helpless without Clinton's enforcers?
Do they need "Big Brother" watching over them?
Didn't Dole tell us the states knew what they were doing?
Doesn't Smirk say the same thing?
"I trust the people, Gore trusts big government," Smirk says,
but they want the federal ATF boys to arrest some guy at
Gus's Pawn Shop for trying to buy a gun while he's on probation?
There must be 300 pawn shops in Oklahoma.
I'll bet there are 3,000 pawn shops in the state of New York.
I'll bet there ate 5,000 pawn shops in Texas.
I'll bet there are 8,000 pawn shops in California.
...and Bill Clinton is the one who should police them all?
Each and every one?
Why can't the local people do that?
Wouldn't crime drop if they got these criminals off the streets?
Then the local boys could claim credit,
instead of letting Bill Clinton have all the glory, right?
If the GOP could ever decide what they fucking want,
I'll bet Clinton could give it to them.
Women should Click Here
Great Show Biz Quotes
As her manager reels off all her promotion
Spears agrees to all — except one. Britney's mother, Lynne, wanted
to accept an invitation to appear with her on "The Howard Stern Show"
to plug a new book they wrote together, "Heart to Heart."
"No way! There's no way Mom understands
what that show is about.
Once Howard got started, she'd storm off. She'd be devastated."
She's smarter than her mother.
Go figure, Britney is the brains in the family.
What mother in America would want her teenage daughter answering
Stern's, "How many imputs do you have?" questions.
What's wrong with that mother?
Is this why this child half-naked everywhere?
Because Britney is calling her own shots?
Let's see what this young teenager has been up to so far.
Is this young girl old enough to drive?
..and what's with the "F- me" posing, Mom?
Here's Britney at some awards show.
Don't you need an ID to buy a titty dress?
Her mother dressed her for this?
Here she is in full slut bloom on the cover of the new Rolling
When you blow this picture up, you won't believe what you can see!!!
(At least she's being patriotic.)
So, if Mom's taking the Howard Stern gigs,
what in the hell is she turning down?
A tour with Larry Flynt?
Wait, I just remembered, the GOP says children can make
their own decisions at the age of six - Elian, call your office.
What Smirk is advocating is to take 20 percent of Social Security
benefits and gamble it on the stock market.
That's fine for folks who get lucky and ride the wave of a Clinton-Gore
But what happens to the people who will retire in a Bush-style recession?
Great Clinton Hater Quotes
One hopes that Rudy will not surrender the
field to a woman whose entire
candidacy is based on a simple lie: that she is a New Yorker. He knows that
she never would have given us a second thought had Moynihan not retired.
He knows that her candidacy is phony from beginning to end.
--Dick Morris, another Judas Maximus
You got a problem with the lady the vulgar Pigboy calls
"The smartest woman in the world" running for the Senate?
You got a problem with the lady that millions of bumper stickers
was REALLY running this country thru unprecedented peace and prosperity?
If our candidates are nothing but "lies" and "phonies,"
let's get out a founding pillar of BartCop-ism:
What kind of person does the GOP recruit?
From RL-LNW Volume 18
1. The stupid co-star of "Bedtime for Bonzo"
2. The stupid purser from "The Love Boat"
3. The stupid bank secretary from "The Beverly Hillbillies"
4. The stupid air-traffic controller from "Die Hard II"
5. The stupid half of Sonny and Cher
6. The stupid receiver from the Seattle Seahawks that was soignorant
he had to ask, "What does GOP stand for?" after he won the election.
7. The stupid, on-the-take quarterback for Barry Switzer's 1981 team?
8. The stupid widow of the stupid half of Sonny and Cher.
9. Dan Quayle
10. Slappy the Wonder Judge
...but you say Hillary has no right to run, Dick?
Larry Klayman Loses Again
Court Won't Release Foster Photos
Monday, May 15, 2000
WASHINGTON –– A group of scum-sucking whores, led by Head
Scumist Larry Klayman, seeking to force the government to release
"juicy" photographs of Vince Foster's body after his 1993 suicide
lost a Supreme Court appeal today.
The court, while rolling their eyes, turned away Whores in Media's
argument that Foster's family has no privacy interest in the photos.
Whores in Media, a right-wing, Scaife financed whoredog group,
contends the public has a "substantial interest" in the photos because
they might show whether the government properly investigated Foster's death.
Moreover, Klayman argued, it might cause tremendous pain to Foster's
widow, who is a Democrat, so her feelings didn't matter.
Foster, the deputy White House counsel, was found in a suburban Virginia
park on July 20, 1993, with a single gunshot wound to the head.
Four investigations – including one by Whitewater independent counsel
Hardon Kenneth – have concluded that Foster committed suicide, but
people like Bob Barr, Dan Burton and Dickless Larry Klayman are
conservatives that will never accepot the truth, no matter who tells them.
Whores in Media invoked the federal Freedom of Information Act in
asking the National Park Service to release photos taken of Foster's
body at the scene of his death and during his autopsy.
The Park Service refused, citing an exemption for cases in which releasing
information would create an unwarranted invasion of personal privacy.
Whores in Media sued, and a federal judge ruled for the government.
The Court of Appeals for DC upheld that ruling, saying, "WIM cannot
deny the powerful sense of invasion bound to be aroused in close
survivors by wanton publication of gruesome details of death by violence."
In the appeal acted on today, Whore in Media's lawyers said Foster's
relatives have no privacy interest in the photos because
they are not depicted in them.
Whores in Media was represented by Dickless Larry Klayman,
whose Judicial Whores group has filed hundreds of lawsuits against
the administration that saved us from the Reagan error..
...more when Dickless Klayman files another suit.
1. Secret Three, about the
"bishop in white" getting cut down
in a "burst of gunfire" was interpreted as a prediction of the
assassination attempt of Pope John Paul II in 1981.
That shooting in Rome occured on May 13, the same
as the first Fatima vision back in 1917.
The Pope said the Virgin Mother "guided the bullet."
I'm curious about a couple of things:
Why didn't She guide it juuuuuust a little more, so it would miss?
Why didn't the Pope tell us BEFORE it happened?
I don't mean for this to sound as bad as it does, but that's a Rush trick.
Claiming AFTER the fact that he knew all along it was going to happen.
I read a story recently about Hardon Kenneth getting hissed at Harvard.
In the article they said AGAIN that Starr got FOURTEEN PEOPLE
in his lil' Whitewater snare and put them in prison.
Does anyone have a clue why the press keeps reporting this lie?
Is this just more of "Clinton Caused Ruby Ridge?"
Or is there some particular angle at which you could view fourteen
people as "convicted" by Whitewater?
You are a moron,
and you should be loked up!
1. Nude poser Paula Jones tried to blackmail the president,
ended up owing legal fees and losing her husband.
2. Groper Kathleen Willey needed tabloid money very, very badly,
made a wild accusation, lost husband, had to file bankruptcy.
3. Linda Tripp tried to take down a president, never, ever had a
boyfriend to lose, but might gain a girlfriend in prison.
4. Gennifer Flowers, still playing the Days Inn in Malverne,
still has her snake, "Sparky!"
Then, there's Julie Hiatt Steele.
Her "crime" was knowing, and trusting Kathleen Willey.
Her "crime" was not playing ball with Hardon Kenneth.
A shot of Chinaco for Julie Hiatt Steele.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
Welcome back to the second hour,
where the host of this show
will inspire you to greatness
and inspire inspiration,
to let people know that the views
expressed by the host on this program
inspire people to greater achievements
than they even knew
they were possible of achieving.
Great Vulgar Pigboy Quotes
Why is the media going after Rudy Giuliani?
Why aren't they going after Hillary Clinton, too?
Pigboy, here's THREE reasons off the top of my pointy liberal head:
1. Hillary hasn't cheated on her marriage.
2. Hillary doesn't belong to a wacky cult-religion that guarantees
you will go to Hell for eternity if you marry more than once
while your first spouse is still alive.
3. Hillary doesn't belong to the Party of Witchhunts.
Good News for All Christians
Anti-Clinton Church Loses Tax-Exempt Status
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Internal Revenue Service
was justified in
revoking the tax-exempt status of a New York church that opposed
President Clinton's 1992 candidacy, a federal appeals court ruled Friday.
The unanimous ruling said the revocation - history's first stripping of a
church's tax exemption for political activity - "neither violated the
Constitution nor exceeded the IRS' statutory authority."
Lawyers for the Church at Pierce Creek,
in Binghamton, N.Y.,
argued that the tax agency had exceeded its authority, violated the
church's free-speech rights and engaged in selective prosecution.
"These objections are without merit," a
three-judge panel of the U.S.
Circuit Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia concluded.
Federal tax law exempts churches and other
from taxation provided they do not engage in certain activities,
including any political campaign on behalf of or in opposition
to any candidate for public office.
Barry Lynn, of Americans United for Separation
of Church and State,
said the ruling "slams the door on mixing religion and partisan politics."
(Ediotr's note: Barry Lynn is one of my heroes. He's right
up there with
Joe Conason in a debate. He stays on-topic, he's never wrong, and he always
looks super-sane when arguing with the blathering religio-crazies.)
"This is a staggering defeat for Pat Robertson,
Jerry Falwell and others
who want to convert America's churches into a partisan political machine,"
Lynn said. "In light of this ruling, pastors who allow partisan politicking in
the sanctuary are jeopardizing their church's tax exemption."
Tax the churches.
Tax the businesses owned by the churches!
It was the Friday before Election Day in
1992 when the Church at
Pierce Creek and its pastor, Daniel J. Little, bought full-page ads in two
newspapers urging voters to reject Bill Clinton because of his positions on
abortion, homosexuality and the distribution of condoms in public schools.
Beware" ad appeared in USA Today and
The Moonie Times.
Americans United for Separation of Church and State subsequently filed
a complaint with the federal tax agency.
After an investigation, the IRS revoked
the church's tax-exempt status in 1995,
action held in abeyance during the legal fight. A federal judge upheld the
revocation last year, and Friday's decision agreed with his reasoning.
All true Christians will certainly rejoice this just and lawful
If you are a religious person, you will applaud this ruling.
If your faith in God is real, and not based on money and political power,
you will embrace this action because your church is now CLEANER.
if you are a charlatan/whore, using people's baseless fear of
damnation in a place that doesn't even exist to take their money from them,
then you need to start paying taxes and register as a lobbyist.
Barry Lynn has done the religious community a great service.
Barry, I'm sure God is smiling on you right now.
Next target: JERRY FALWELL
to see Barry Lynn go after that lying shit Falwell.
Thanks to John Elliott
Great Clinton-Hater Quotes
"'mumfp mumf umuf fmuff mumum.'"
-- Paula Jones, backstage with Lynyrd Skynyrd in Little Rock
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
If you want an insight into how scary a
Bush Presidency would be,
how bad his judgment is, how weak and shallow his character is,
take a look at Friday's Washington Post. They report on a death row inmate
whose lawyer, the paper says, was asleep at the defense table during
important stretches of the trial.
When Bush was asked about how he could execute
whose lawyers had slept through their trial, Bush laughed.
I'm not kidding.
It was in a debate in Los Angeles on March
2, and Bush laughed.
Just like he mocked Karla Fay Tucker's last desperate plea for mercy
in an interview with Tucker Carlson.
I'm against the death penalty. But even
if you're for it, you've got to
question the judgment -- indeed the character -- of a man who is so
callous he can execute another human being and laugh about it.
Paul, don't worry.
Smirk won't even be the nominee.
Subject: I never thought I'd see the day...
...when "christians" would say ANYTHING
Rancid Rush! Further proof that they may be on the
verge of implosion.
(If you go, be nice. He attacked Rush, not us.)
1. LIMBAUGH USES INDECENT LANGUAGE AND ENTERTAINS
2. LIMBAUGH TAKES THE NAME OF THE LORD IN VAIN.
3. LIMBAUGH STIRS UP ANGER, STRIVING, AND
TOWARD GOD-ORDAINED GOVERNMENT.
4. LIMBAUGH USES WICKED ROCK MUSIC.
Old TV Stuff
Last week's The West Wing was better than expected.
NBC can't be trusted, never forget that.
I saw an interview with Aaron Sorkin, the West Wing boss,
and he says Wednesday's season-closer is one to remember.
One of our jets goes down in Iraq and the Space Shuttle has a faulty
door, endangering the crew. Add to that an apparent assassination attempt
and you have an action-packed hour.
That last Friends was one of the worst shows they've ever
An entire half-hour of Matt Perry mugging over that ring and
Bruce Willis didn't do anything but cry like Bob Dole at Nixon's funeral.
They had a funny hour that they stretched into three episodes.
The Friends gang just signed to do two more years for $750,000 each-each,
but that "ring show" wasn't worth $75 from start to finish.
Maybe Thursday's finale will be better.
Frasier, on the other hand was really good.
I hate the Anthony Lapaglia character, but everything else worked perfect.
Their finale Thursday should be the highlight of the big, big night.
On ER, they kept Clooney a secret and that was cool.
It was pretty risky of Carol to go to Seattle without calling
The idea that Clooney was in Seattle for two years doing without
is a little far-fetched. For all she knew, he could've been putting his
22-year old blonde playtoy in the boat when she arrived unexpectedly.
It would have been more romantic for Carol to be having the Day
and have Doug show up and say, "Let me take you away from all this."
I heard Rush whining about ER last Friday, but didn't catch his problem.
Not only did we get our Friends update today,
the fate of the X-Files was also supposed to be decided before today.
Did you see the Genia episode last night?
Maybe it's time to turn off the ventilator.
Paula Jones Does it Again
David Letterman said Paula Jones spreading
her legs for Penthouse AGAIN
was the "anti-Viagra" during his Wednesday night monologue.
But The Late Show host isn't the only objector.
Jones' ex-publicist Susan Carpenter-McWhore,
is telling her to turn Penthouse
down, says the New York Post. When Carpenter-McWhore learned
that Jones' representative, David Hans Schmidt, was negotiating with the
magazine, she immediately called Jones to berate her.
"I told her, 'What are your children's friends
going to say?
My daddy saw your mommy naked?'," she said.
Memo to Susan Carpenter
"You can't put shit back in the donkey."
-- Tony Soprano
She's already posed for Penthouse, Susan.
What are you, like, ...stupid or something?
"I am so opposed to a nude layout. Bob Guccione
isn't out to do anything
but defend President Clinton and destroy what Paula has done."
"What Paula has done?"
What has Paula done besides fabricate a claim, jump in bed with the
Clinton-haters for money, spread her legs for a camera and caused
her husband to leave her to look for a different lifetime soulmate.
...and you're afraid she might lose all that?
Hans Schmidt insists the deal with Penthouse
is still going through, and
complained that Carpenter-McMillan was trying to undo all his hard work.
*Mainly, Carpenter-McShrew's afraid that
the next time she goes on
Politically Incorrect, Bill Maher will sandbag her with the fold-out.*
That part is true.
That stupid tramp will go on Bill Maher's show and he'll show the picture.
When you pose for a photo, you can't be ambushed with it.
It's a picture you produced.
You can ambush Francis Cappola with The Godfather, because he produced it.
Her little attempt at blackmail blew up in her face.
Thanks to the folks at LBC.
Salon.com had a nice piece on Trent Lott (R-Whitesonly)
Click Here to read of "Travelboy" and his lil' whore junkets.
Bill Maher is doing P.I. from the Playboy Mansion this week.
Speaking of Playboy, you know about Hef's three girlfriends, right?
Howard Stern exposed that as a big fraud recently.
The girlfriend who's not a twin was put in a box by Stern and Robin
and was forced to admit she's never even seen Hef naked.
To pump up sales of the magazine, these three girls are saying
Hef is a Viagra dynamo and they often have group sex.
But Robin, expecially, is a pretty good prosecutor.
She knows how to frame a question.
She knows how to cut you off in mid-bullshit.
Robin Quivers is TWICE the interrogator Tim Russert is,
which is faint praise since Timmy is the all-time worst.
No wait, Larry King is the all-time worst, then Timmy.
If the question doesn't involve Clinton's cock,
Russert is clueless and helpless at getting the facts from a guest.
But, anyway, check out Bill Maher this week
Million Mom March
Every press report I've heard about the MMM has been the same:
"There were TWO marches in Washington Sunday.
The anti-gun mothers and the pro-gun mothers."
This is more of the American whore press at their very worst.
It's all a matter of numbers.
If both sides had 200,000 people then yes, you had TWO marches.
But if one side had 500,000, as organizers claim, and the
Mothers for More Guns drew 10,000, then you do NOT have "two marches."
You've got one giant march and a gaggle of "more guns" whores.
Leave it to the whore press to make the crowds equal.
And I'm not just talking Fox Whore News, either.
CNN, ABC News and the AP all talked about "two marches."
I have guns and I carry.
I'm not anti-gun, I'm anti-NRA insanity and I'm very anti-whore.
Every gun debate I've heard has been pointless and full of shit.
Did you see/hear that slut Susan Howard verbally attack Clinton?
(The vulgar Pigboy played it Thursday, I think)
Clinton used the most normal conversational tool in the world
"Let's go past "A" and look at "B" for a second," but the words he used were,
"Forget the crimes, let's talk about just the accidental shootings."
Then that whore Susan Howard started screeching like Laura the Unloved.
Forget the crimes?
Forget the crimes?
I heard you say that, Mr. President!
Forget the crimes?
Forget the crimes?
I heard you say that, Mr. President!
Forget the crimes?
Forget the crimes?
I heard you say that, Mr. President!
You ignorant slut!
You knew that was a figure of speech.
Clinton was saying even if there was no benefit to slowing the crime rate
the lives saved by reducing accidental shootings is of such significance
that taking action on that basis alone is worth the effort.
You knew that, slut!
You tried to pretend that what he meant was,
"Let's forget every gun crime forever and ever," and everybody
except the vulgar Pigboy and the NRA's Pepe Le Pierre knew it.
Like I say, I have guns, so I see both sides.
But all both sides wanted to do this weekend was scream bullshit at the other,
so nothing at all was accompished. ...except Smirk turning pro-trigger lock.
Clinton nailed him on that, too.
"Smirk is running for cover because the
NRA has said they'll
be running the country out of the Oval Office if Smirk somehow wins."
So, Smirk turns pro-trigger lock to "Sista Soulja" the NRA.
Oh, Lord, deliver me from this nation of whores.
I am against trigger locks because I have no kids.
All my guns are where kids can't get them.
And why lock up a gun and keep the key nearby?
Kids are smart - they'll find the damn key.
One big reason I like Glocks is they have no safety!
(They say they do, but it's located on the trigger, so Duh!)
If I run into someone who needs dying, I don't want to negotiate
with any keys, locks, tarriers or barrifs. (Homage to Smirk!)
Being a pro-gun, anti-NRA liberal, I could sit down with any reasonable
conservative and hammer out an agreement in one day.
When will that happen?
Kathleen Willey Files for Bankruptcy
Listed legal fees, debts at $700,000
Kathleen Willey, one of several women who who tried to get rich by
blackmailing the president who saved America's economy,
has filed bankruptcy and will probably be declared an insolvent whore,
a federal bankruptcy court official said yesterday.
Willey's $300,000-seeking claims of an alleged encounter with Clinton
six years ago helped provide cover for the 105th ditto-monkey congress
of tobacco whores in their nasty lust for his impeachment.
(Ediotr's note: R. J. Reynolds bought congress in 1994.)
A declaration that Willey has no assets would mean that hundreds
of thousands of dollars in legal fees and loans would go unpaid,
including almost $200,000 lent to her by her two adult children,
according to court records.
Willey, who remarried some fool with money last year, is hiding
behind her married name of Kathleen Schwicker. She voluntarily filed
for protection under Chapter 7 federal bankruptcy laws last month,
listing debts of more than $700,000 and assets including $19,011 in cash,
a destroyed reputation, sagging breasts and a drooping ass.
Court records show that Willey owes $462,000 to her whore lawyers,
who we can only assume were working for the back end of the deal.
Willey also disavowed interest in a valuable life insurance policy
on her former husband's life, turning her share of the proceeds
over to her grown children to thwart deserving creditors.
In court documents, Willey said her only income is loans her kids
make to her for living expenses. She has not held a job since 1995.
She is, however, still at large.
Kevin Cunningham has his new photo-toon page up at http://www.cunninghamstrikes.com
The latest Zogby poll is in:
After displaying this graphic from Rush's favorite pollster,
the Fox News whores spent Sunday morning saying Hillary's
candidacy had "no chance" because her poll numbers
were "stuck" in the low-to-mid forties.
The Plunger has worse numbers than Hillary,
but Hillary's numbers are too low for her to win?
That sounds fair and balanced, Fox.
Conservatives rally against sex education
saying it just leads to
promiscuous behavior. We have all heard them say it leads to
higher teen pregnancy, diseases, and all manner of evil.
So why do they think firearm training and
leads to safe gun handling instead of violence?
I guess education about something they don't
want is bad,
and education about something they like is good.
Tom, good point.
Personally, I'm pro-education all the way.
Kids should be educated on guns, drugs and sex.
Drugs may even be a better comparison.
If you outlaw drugs, only outlaws will have drugs, right?
If the kids are going to have drugs, let's educate them to the
differences between pot and crack, but nooooooo, we can't!
If we're honest with the kids, and tell them pot is relatively harmless,
they might use their education to make an informed choice,
and we can't have that in America, no way!
It's all a scam - everything is a scam.
The NRA's Pepe Le Pierre on Meet
(From the transcript - I couldn't make this up)
Timmy: What’s wrong with her idea of licensing
gun owners and
registering guns the way we do automobiles?
Pepe: It won’t work. I mean, criminals
drive cars to crime scenes every day.
The fact of a license doesn’t deter criminals. This is also a freedom.
BartCop: Koresh, that's a stupid thing to say, Pepe!
Have you ever seen Law & Order?
Half the crooks they catch are tracked thru license plates,
car descriptions, and records at the DMV.
I think you just made Al Gore's point, Pepe!
A guy buys a legal gun, and sells it to some ditto-head.
The Rush fan opens an NRA branch office at some church in Texas.
But if the gun was registered we'd know who sold it to him.
The Miracle of Fatima
Have you ever heard of "The Miracle of Fatima?"
In 1917, the Virgin Mary appeared to three children in Fatima, Portugal
and gave them three predictions into the future to carry to the Pope.
Within three years, two of the children died.
The third child grew up to be a nun, who took a vow of silence
and has never spoken of the secrets to anyone.
The Vatican revealed the first two predictions to the world
The first secret was the rise and fall of the Soviet empire.
The second secret was the prediction of World War II.
The final prediction has been the best kept secret in Catholicism.
Even some popes have not read the third secret.
Recently, Pope John Paul II went to Fatima, Portugal.
He has authorized the Vatican to release the third secret.
to read this amazing story.
I've waited 40 years to get this off my chest.
I'll bet John Meeks will get a kick out of this...
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