Great Nazi-Con 2000 Quotes
This was really nothing more than, "Who
wants to be a Democrat?"
-- Margaret Carlson, smarter than the chimp.
Did you notice the different signs at the convention?
Same as the last two conventions, they were 100 percent pre-fabs.
Delegates weren't allowed to make their own signs.
All they could do was carry a sanitized, Smirk-approved sign.
Is this the Party of Free Speech?
We're not asking them to let us make their signs, but why
committed delegates be trusted to behave themselves and trusted to
not write "McCain is a big Pussy" and walk around with it?
Jesus Christ, you say we can trust these people with guns?
but they can't be trusted with a sign and a fucking paintbrush?
"Signs Don't Insult - People Do!"
"No more jails!"
Explain it to your ditto-monkey friends!
Check out Colin - he's down on drugs!
Kids just need a hug!
Let's pray together, instead of solving the problem!
Hey, whose side is he on?
He's telling the GOP they have to knock
off the Nazi hate!
Oh, Pigboy isn't going to like this.
Lectured by an uppity negro?
She's so much older than Bob Dole, she's dead.
Do you want to know a secret?
I'm bored with how easily Gore will
win this race.
Book mark this!
Smirk is on really shaky legs with this "lead" he has..
He could screw up in the debate and lose fifteen points in 48 hours.
The first time Smirk says, "I don't know," Gore is going to come
with the right answer and the GOP will say, "Oh, no! Not again!"
The crowd mic went out when Smirk started talking.
He said, "We're onto victory in November!" - and there was dead silence.
Nobody applauded (on CNN) at least that could be heard.
Smirk just admitted he had "lots of sleepovers" at the Governor's
That sounds like an impeachable offense to me...
Why is Smirk introducing Powell?
"Hi, my name is Colin Powell, and I'm pro-choice!"
Isn't it a mistake to send your wife out to attack for
If her veiled attacks on Clinton was just Monday talk,
what are we gonna have come Thursday night?
Hey, let's get the gloves off right now.
Fuck all this nicey-nice, let's have at it!
Tipper would kick her ass!
"I want my son or daughter to respect the President of America."
He's got a long wait, lady.
Chelsea won't be done until 2024.
"My husband will make a great grandfather."
When was the last time he visted his kids is Juarez?
"George says we have a charge to keep."
Let me guess: Neiman Marcus?
"We need MORE money for education."
Excuse me, thought the Republican Convention was on TV tonight...
"Education is the living room of my life"
Is that Pickle's first lie?
"My husband loves children, especially black and Hispanic kids."
You got that half-right.
Hey, Pickles, this isn't St Patty's Day.
What's with the Riddler Costume?
Did you see him?
He looks older than the Pope!
He even waves like the Pope!
He looks like he's in a goddamn wheelchair!
How old is Cheney?
A Tradition is Born
"Someone tell Teddy Koppel to start blow drying his hair."
-- Miller, telling the football audience to "Turn out the liiiiiights...."
Anybody recognize this guy?
I remember now.
He's the guy who showered naked with OJ Simpson in Buffalo.
"I always said Smirk would run for president.
I didn't say he'd win, but I said he'd run."
"I Know NouthinnnnnnGGG!"
Remember this George?
He's the guy who stood up, at the big BIG meeting.
(the meeting where Weinberger's diary said Smirk Daddy was in the loop.)
Yeah, I remember.
Schultz stood up, banged his fist on the table and said,
"Dammit, Mr. President. This is illegal!"
But, that's OK.
...you know the drill.
No Clinton's cock - no foul.
The young, black superstar.
Maybe she reminds Smirk of the young senoritas over the border?
You know, if Smirk got in, they'd have to kill her.
She'd be too much of a threat.
If she ever said Smirk put his hands on her, he'd be finished.
If she ever bolted and said, "Smirk's as stupid as BartCop says he is,"
the dynasty would screech to a halt, ...which ...of course
is all conjecture because Gore's gonna tear him one...
I'm trying to do a screen grab of this great sign they're waving...
It says, "We're Happy and United."
Make them stop!
Even if it was true,
...who holds a sign that says "We're Happy and United?"
It's hard writing this, because I'm trying to "fix" the fact
that you're reading joke 2 before joke 1.
I'll just tough it out...
Another minority, this time a black preacher!
What a hose job!
Talk about manufactured dittoes!
The preacher had his choir screaming for, as he put is, "Governor Butch!"
Are you watching this?
He's leading the witness, your honor!
What kind of sham-piece of crap, bought-and-paid-for religious hokem-pokem is this?
I'm taping this to watch again and again.
How much is a hooker in Philly, anyway?
"Have faith in Him-a."
"He loves you-a"
"We loooooooooooove Governor Butch!"
I'm getting my money's worth,
Who's this lady?
Where are the old, white men?
he's just sitting there, pulling strings...
It's Elaine Chao, giving the same speech the Gomez lady gave.
"George W Bush will never let you down!"
Gee, why do I get the feeling "Let you down" and "can't afford it" are mutually exclusive?
Uncle OJ Watts just came out, looked around, and said
"I see white people!"
Uncle OJ showing us some humor...,
Brit Hume is kissing his ass.
Don't know about you, but I'm real happy with Dennis Miller on
He seems to be just what you want - a funny guy to watch the game with.
Who else would you rather watch a game with?
Chris Rock would be fun, maybe.
Anyway, Dennis seems to be making friends.
...and he hasn't said, "Golly," yet.
Here come the Hispanic women.
This is Pilar Gomez, giving her guarantee that,
"George W Bush will never let down the Hispanic community."
That's a check I'd hate to endorse.
She just said we'd have "real and lasting change" if Smirk won.
We know, Pilar!
That's why we fight him!!!
Pickles Smirk on CNN!
Awww, it's a warm and fuzzy!
It's Bernard Shaw the pants-wetter.
I guarantee, he'll ask Pickles why she killed that guy with her Jeep.
Paula Von Zahn, clawing at Rove!
"Why didn't you guys do a better job of vetting Heartboy?"
Fox is down on the GOP!
Smirk Daddy is in the house!
We have Gingrich and Livingston on the prowl.
This just in, from Sabutai:
Great Bob Livingston Quotes
"We need to eliminate the possibility
of sexual attraction of any sort"
during military basic training, said Livingston, now a Washington lobbyist.
Livingston was asked why he was speaking
so strongly on sexual issues.
"It has nothing to do with me," he said.
"I was just doing my job on impeachment.
If I lose votes over it, I lose.
This is a new kind of Republican Convention!
--James Rogan (R-Rat Bastard)
Different, you mean, in a less cock-hunting way?
We don't forget.
Make a deal while you can.
Morton Kondrake on FWN, just seemed to say that Bush might
but he was taking steps to bring the GOP back towards the human race.
Why is Fox Whore News saying bad things about the GOP?
Do they think Smirk is so far ahead, they have to close the gap some
to give people a reason to watch their cockhunt talk shows?
Smirk the pioneer?
Smirk spent so much time in Boy's Town he picked up the language.
CNN has a Quiz on Politics
Which reminds me...
Did I ever tell the Swear to Koresh true story that in 1994, Steve
was at his own fundraising dinner and asked the people at his table,
"What does GOP stand for?"
Snoot on the Loose!
What time is Gingrich speaking?
He's there, so that means he'll speak, right?
Newt was the architect of the revolution!
He gave every ditto-monkey in this room their job.
He gets to address the convention, doesn't he?
Are we going to hear from Snoot tonight?
Hank Williams JR is here to "entertain." the Cro-Mags
Wait - another Junior?
"He's not a junior!!!" - Pigboy whales!
He looks sober - at the moment.
Bet we don't see much of him after 9 o'clock...
Jimmy Hoffa is on CNN.
Wait a minute...
July 31, 1975, right?
Jimmy Hoffa was taken to Tony Sopranos party 25 years ago tonight?
What's he doing at Nazi-Con 2000?
I wish I knew what Illinois was drinking.
They gave a speech about Lincoln, Reagan and ...Hastert?
Wait, that can't be right.
Yeah, they said it again.
Lincoln, Reagan and ...Hastert!
Then they passed!
I think they need some help in Illinois...
Idaho just cast their delegates for Mark Fuhrman.
I didn't even know he was running...
Guam just went for Governor Blow Monkey.
I'm going to get giddy after a while...
Fox reports Senator Richard Shelby (R-Keeper of the Cave) has just been
taken to Broken Bell Hospital after hurting himself saying "Dubya" in roll call.
Reports as warranted...
That reminds me, where's tonight?
Connecticut is claiming "Connecticut is the birthplace of Smirk!"
We knew he was lying about being a Texan, anyway.
GOP Pollster John McGlothlin says Smirk has 33 % of the Hispanic vote.
Wait till the Democrats start running their commercials.
6:45 Roll call starts
Massabama goes for Smirk.
Alaska just said Smirk used to live there.
Cindy McCain, at least for the first 15 minutes, has "Best Actress"
She had a BIG smile, whoring for the man who hit her husband below the belt.
"Arizona goes for Smirk," the words dripping from her mouth.
Bill O'Reilly (Fox-Whore) says Cheney was "a shock, and not a
We don't want you!
Stay on their side...
6:42 Getting ready for Prime Time
On CNN, we have Mary Matalin, well-known Clinton hater and
Mike McCurry, well-known Clinton hater, kicking things around.
More "fair and balanced" coverage.
I just saw some black delegate saying black recruiting in Michigan
is up 25 percent for the GOP.
Sounds right - they had four blacks, now they have five.
Have you heard the optimism coming from Philly?
"We feel much more confident this time.
In 1996, we knew we were in trouble."
That's not what you said at the time.
Pigboy said the Democrats were in "abject panic!"
Flash-forward, in 2004, they'll being saying,
"We feel much more confident this time.
In 2000, we knew we were in trouble."
Make them stop!
One other advantage Gore has, that he won't need...
They have to go first.
Just like in poker, Gore gets to see their bet before he bets.
The GOP is promising to play nice this year?
Think that'll happen?
You know what'd be really funny, if the GOP plays nice,
and then Clinton/Caroline/Kerry/Gore tear them a new one!
The Republicans are sooooo confident.
They're going to be very angry when Smirk is made to eat it.
Tell me, if there was a smoking gun out there, when would you
I figure the best time is Wednesday about 6PM Philly time.
Too late to change the Wednesday night speeches, but plenty of time
for Smirk to get real nervous about facing the convention after
they find out he's been lying to them about scandals A, B, C and D.
We've seen Clinton deliver great, great speeches under incredible
The 1998 SOTU was delivered just days after Monica became the most
important constitutional issue in this history of the country.
The 1999 SOTU was delivered just before the impeachment trial.
I wonder how Smirk will do under intense pressure?
Nazi-Con 2000brought to you by Ryder Trucks
Ryder - we allow cash rentals
Great Pigboy Quotes
If Gore and Hillary lose, that's a rejection
Excuse me, Your Hogness.
Rejection of a candidate is done at the polling booth.
America has twice chosen to embrace Bill Clinton's ideas over
those of the Simian Collective and you refuse to admit that fact.
By the way, using your "logic," when Gore and Hillary win,
will you admit the voters saw thru Smirk's lies of a "new" GOP?
There's a new tattoo going 'round...
Let's Not Forget Laura
Seen on a bulletin board somewhere
Let the marketplace decide whether Laura has something of value
This post is not a "bash", just factual information that struck me as curious.
This morning, Laura is taping one of her first episodes near my home.
Paramount has chosen to tape her TV show NOT at the Paramount
but at a secret location 20 miles away: an abandoned factory building in
Woodland Hills, CA. that has been converted to a TV studio for her.
The "audience" is also not the norm; it is a collection of paid
who have been recruited for their "performance".
Their "call time" was 7:30 AM.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
When the Republican congress forced Clinton
to veto the bill they sent him
banning all Partial Birth Abortions (fake name) it was a WIN/WIN for them.
But Rush, but Rush!
I thought the whole point was to save more "babies,"
not scoring a cheap and meaningless political victory.
Let's say there are 100 PBA surgeries a year.
The only thing holding Clinton back is wanting the mother's health protected.
Let's grab a number out of the air and say twenty doctors are willing to put
in writing that the mother's health is at stake, and she needs this operation to
increase her chances of survival.
If the ditto-monkey congress would include that language in the
Clinton would sign it and 80 "babies" would be saved.
They refuse to add the words that would save 80 "baby" lives..
They don't want to save lives, as I've just proven.
They want to have something to talk about tonight.
I agonize over the subject of abortion.
I see it 55/45 in favor of the woman.
The GOP sees an emotional political issue - nothing else.
When the Republican congress forced Clinton
to veto the bill they sent him
banning all Partial Birth Abortions (fake name) it was a WIN/WIN for them.
Sure, it's a WIN/WIN, Pigboy.
If you're not the "baby."
Don't you even care, GOP?
Don't you even care?
Paul Begala Shoots the Bull
I don't think I've ever seen a convention this cocky.
Bush's lead is anywhere from two to 16 points, depending on the poll.
But his lead is largely a result of consolidating the conservative base.
In other words, he's already picked all the low-hanging fruit.
From here on out he'll have to appeal to moderate, centrist swing
so look for Bush to use rhetoric totally at war with his (and his running mate's) record.
The choice of Cheney is the worst choice since W's Poppy chose
Quayle in 1988.
Cheney is no Dan Quayle; he's more dangerous, and much more conservative.
His voting record is nothing short of a disaster.
Nine times he voted to kill or cut Head Start -- the wildly successful
program that helps poor children. Cheney also voted against immunizing children,
feeding hungry kids through the school lunch program, adult education,
bilingual education and nearly every other form of education.
Leave no child behind, indeed.
Bush, for all his rhetoric about children, has enthusiastically
Cheney's record, which can only be described as savagely anti-children.
Because Bush's own record is nearly as bad. Consider this: as
Texas, Bush fought AGAINST including 200,000 poor children in the Children's
Health Insurance Program, which President Clinton and Vice President Gore
started. Bush also failed to provide nutrition assistance to 90 percent of
the hungry children in his state last summer. How can you call yourself
compassionate when you don't feed hungry children and don't provide health
insurance for sick kids? "Leave no child behind?" So far Bush has left
200,000 poor kids behind on health care and one million kids behind on food.
The entire GOP convention -- indeed the entire GOP campaign --
is based on a
fraud. The fraud is that Bush and the GOP have changed their stripes. Gone is the
Gingrich gang that tried to cut Medicare, school lunches and environmental protections.
In its place is the Bush-Cheney gang that, well, tried to cut Medicare, end school
lunches and gut environmental protections. No wonder Newt Gingrich said
Cheney's voting record was more conservative than his.
Tonight's female speakers are starting to arrive.
Is Cheney the Worst VP Pick in History?
Subject: The big story
Hi, from a longtime fan.
You asked how Bush Sr. would get out of the box?
Well, considering Bush's CIA connections,
Mr. Weinberger would
have a very high risk of having a fatal heart attack.
Would you agree?
It's not nice to threaten the CIA black ops boys
Is it true the "GW" in Bush's name stands for "Global Warming?"
It is decidedly so,
Juan Williams - Too Little, Too late
Did you see Uncle Juan on Fox Whore News yesterday?
After two years of fuck Clinton, fuck Hillary, fuck Gore, fuck the Democrats,
he actually criticized the Republican Party on Fox Whore News.
I saw it myself!
Do they get new marching orders when they think someone's watching?
After all the shit-slinging at Clinton, why would Uncle Juan start to act
like a liberal all of a sudden?
I always wondered what purpose it served to hire Juan and Mara
of all they were going to do was ditto every slur Brit & Tony came up with.
But yesterday, we saw the Juan Williams of 1997.
He was actually speaking in less-than gushing terms about the
boys to the extent that Brit Hume was getting pissed off about it.
Juan even showed a little balls - for the first time on Fox - and insisted on
finishing his point before the Klansmen shouted him down.
What could have caused this Bat-turn?
The only thing I can think of is he's paid off his house and his
Stanford tuition goals have finally been reached, so maybe Uncle Juan
is going back to his roots, but I doubt it.
Never trust a traitor.
Thanks to http://gwbushart.port5.com
Subject: Lynyrd Skynyrd
I've heard the GOP got Lynyrd Skynyrd to play at their convention.
Now that I've thought about it, if they
are going to keep looking
back, like choosing Cheney, then getting an redneck band from the
past to perform really sticks with their main theme (not the touted
theme - but their true theme)
And Freebird would be a fitting anthem for
republicans with lines like
"and this bird you cannot change". Plus the song reminds me of Newt : )
You're right about Lynyrd Skynyrd.
We saw them earlier this year.
ZZ Top was in K-Drag, and Mrs. BartCop wanted to see them,
and Skynyrd was one of the back-up bands.
They played with a giant Dixie flag backdrop.
Between songs the replacement singer said,
"We won't be playing any of that fuckin' rap shit tonight."
Clearly, it was a "screw the minorities" moment,
but at least they cloaked their racism better than, say, Ted Nugent.
It's too bad they couldn't just have a little pride in
the Old South.
No, they have to go full-boar. (no sic)
George P. Bush
Do you know who George P. Bush is? He's Jeb's son, and he's going
running for U.S. House as soon as the Constitution says he's old enough. I
know this because he said so on Larry King. He's not being treated special
because he's a Bush, though, Larry King has lots of 24-year-olds on his show
to talk about their political plans.
George P. Bush will be giving a big speech at his uncle's convention
That, my friend, is the "meritocracy" the Republicans are always
about. Not only should you inherit all of Granddad's money, you should also
inherit his ability to make decisions which affect American families.
Republicans are talking about W. in 2000, Jeb Bush in 2008, George
in 2016, and whoever turns out to be the handsomest of George Sr.'s
great-grandchildren in 2024. I don't know if there are any Bushes who
haven't been born yet who deserve to be president in 2040.
The country will tune in on Thursday to catch up on the proceedings
convention, and they're going to see George P. Bush giving the speech that
establishes himself as a national political figure. I believe the American
public will say, "Who's that?", and when they find the answer is "That's
another Bush who has earned his place on the stage by being a Bush." they
will look at W. in a very negative light.
If the kid isn't great, it may really hurt W. The American people
to ignore the admission to Yale with a C average, the strings pulled to get
into the National Guard, the admission to Harvard B-school with another C
average, the rigged deal to get him a partnership with the Texas Rangers,
and the coronation as the GOP candidate. The very fact that his little
nephew is also being viewed as a political heavyweight because, well,
because he's a Bush, and Bush's deserve a little--or a lot--more special
attention than your family does might not sit well with Joe Lunchbucket.
This kid might give such a great speech that it will help W. and
himself as a very promising young leader. I'll guess he'll use some Spanish,
despite the fact that four years ago Republicans were very "English-only."
It could be a great day for George P. Bush and the Republican party
But if the American people get the impression that what Republicanism
for deep down is affirmative action for the rich and powerful, and this young man
comes across as the personification of that belief, his appearance could cost
his Uncle W. and his granddad this election.
I hope they put him on late; the later the better.
Let everyone see the new Bush who worked his way to the top.
Did you see that poor, crazy woman on Millionaire last night?
First off, she didn't seem extra bright.
I don't remember each question, but she had to use all her lifelines early,
and here she was, entering into shit only Bill Clinton can remember.
Plus, she was a cute,. perky little thing.
She didn't seem totally jaded - yet.
She was a struggler, too.
She took forever on each question, finally getting to $32,000.
Then she agonized over the $64,000 question forever, but got it right.
Regis asked her what she was going to do with the big, big bucks.
"We closed on our house today. Anything I win tonight is going
right into a down payment for the house of our dreams," she said.
Regis assured her she'd be able to buy a great house if she wins
So now we're to the $125,000 question.
She struggles and struggles to feret out the right answer,
Regis teasing her, letting her squirm until he finally says, "You're right!"
So now she has $125,000 to go towards the dream home of a lifetime.
She looks at the $250,000 question.
She's using nut-logic to decide these, too.
"The last answer was "A," so this answer can't be "A."
Good thinking, Sherlock.
She struggles and wiggles and moans.
Regis is checking his watch like Smirk daddy in a town hall debate.
While she's trying to decide, she asks what her husband is doing.
Regis, breaking the tension tells her, "He's de-composing!"
Finally, finally she picks an answer, only to back off when Regis
"Do you want to make that your final answer?"
She has to wiggle and despair some more.
After a small eternity, she says, "Final answer."
Regis makes her squirm until finally he says, "You did it again!"
Now she has $250,000 in her hand.
Cold cash, right in her sweaty palms.
She looks at the $500,000 question.
"What was the last nation admitted into the United Nations."
The idiot says, "I think I remember reading this."
Regis falls into a panic.
She says, "I'm leaning heavily towards "A."
Three minutes later, "I'm leaning heavily towards "B."
I think that's where Butrous-Butrous Ghali is from.
(Editor's Note: Lady, Butrous is from Egypt,
and Egypt has been
a member of the UN since Alexander straddled the harbor, OK?)
Three minutes later, "I'm leaning heavily towards "C."
After an eternity, she says, "I'm going to go with "C."
Instead of saying, "Final answer," Regis says,
"Are you sure?"
Lady, you have a quarter millions dollars in your hand.
You sure you want to gamble with that?
Why not take the quarter-million and go home with your husband
buy that dream house you've always wanted and live happily ever after?
You say you're house hunting?
A quarter-million would buy a nice fucking house, lady."
"No," she says. "I'm certain. It's "C" and that's my final
Regis let out an audible sigh...
"Sorry, Darlin'. The correct answer is "A."
The poor, dumb thing dropped her head like she'd been shot.
She gazed at the floor with a Quayle-like blank stare.
(Editor's Note: Idiot!)
Regis was stunned, the audience was stunned, but the husband came
down with a big smile and guided the woman he once loved off the stage
with their paltry little check for $32,000 which is probably $24K after
Bill Clinton and all his worthless spending on the sick & the old.
I remember sayin, a hundred issues back, that when we played poker
in college when we were all broke. losing the money wasn't the big problem.
It wasn't that. It was everyone saying, for weeks after the game,
"You mean you lost $100 playing poker? Are you that stupid?"
that really put the hurt on a guy.
So now this young couple has to face the future.
Right away, when they're looking at houses, the agent will ask,
"So, how much do you have to put down?" and they'll look at each other
and she'll burst into tears, reliving her stupidity over and over forever.
Starting today, everywhere that lady goes, the dry cleaner, Burger
people will say, "Aren't you that idiot woman from Millionaire?"
Ten, fifteen years down the road, when the roof is leaking on
he'll always remember the castle they could've had, but nooooooooooo.
The UN historian will never be able to live that down.
Clinton Takes Swipe at
By Anne Gearan Associated Press
CHICAGO (AP) - Lobbing a partisan spitball as the GOP gathers
for Nazi-Con 2000,
President Clinton said Cheney's long-ago vote against freedom for Nelson Mandela
"takes your breath away."
At a luncheon that raised as estimated $250,000 for Democrats,
Republicans are trying to appear more moderate than they truly are.
"I bet butter won't melt in their mouths," Clinton said.
"Now, all the big publicity is about, in the last few days, an
amazing vote cast by
Dick Cheney against letting Nelson Mandela out of jail," Clinton said.
"That takes your breath away," Clinton said.
Clinton mentioned the Mandela matter by way of introduction to
his larger point.
The vote, Clinton said, is less alarming than what he claims is the GOP-led Senate's
concerted effort to keep minority judges off the federal bench.
"I'm worried about the people now that I've tried to put on the
court of appeals,
who are African-American and Hispanic who are being held in political jail
because they can't get a hearing from this Republican Senate," Clinton said.
"And their nominee won't say a word about it," he added.
Clinton held up the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals as example.
The federal appeals court hears cases from Maryland, Virginia,West
and the Carolinas - a region with more black residents than any other federal
court jurisdiction. The 4th Circuit has never had a black judge.
"I've been trying for seven long years to fix that, and they've
blocked every one,"
of his nominees, Clinton said. "They're so determined to keep blacks off
the bench they have allowed a 25 percent vacancy rate."
Clinton has nominated three blacks to be 4th Circuit judges
but none has been confirmed. Two nominations are still pending,
but there are no Senate confirmation hearings scheduled.
Margaret Carlson on this Ditto-Monkey Congress
Click Here to hear the audio
Margaret Carlson - smarter than every chimp at Fox Whore News
Great Judith Regan Quotes
Some guest said,
"Do I like Smirk? Let me put it this way.
I really, really liked Frank Sinatra,
but I wouldn't hire Frank Sinatra Jr to sing at my party."
America B.C. - Before Clinton
Subject: Why did you back off the big story?
The more they squeal the closer you are
to the truth.
It may not be right, but it's a subject we want to talk about.
Weinberger probably knows about the October Surprise treason.
Hostages were denied their freedom, and America was denied justice.
Cheney was a member of the most corrupt
and criminal administrations in
the history of this country. Six pardons, many felony convictions for work
done inside the white house, and it seems to be a forbidden subject for
the press that supposedly fawns over Bill Clinton.
Republicans were very happy to talk about
the size and shape of Clinton's dick,
but it's inappropriate to question whether Bush committed felonies in office?
I can handle anything the Republicans throw at me,
but I don't have much experience fighting off Democrats.
Do you like Doritos?
(For Men Only)
Subject: Speakers at Nazi-Con 2000
I guess Ben Stein took Rush's spot on the
list of speakers.
Which do you think he hates more, losing the MNF gig
or not being asked to give speech at the convention?
I'm sure he was just DYING to get a prime time spot on network TV.
Rush never did like that compassion shit.
Dubya doesn't want his nasty nazi ass anywhere
near the stage.
We'll see what role the fat load plays this week.
On second thought, maybe The Rock took Rush's spot.
Your pal Bruce Willis is on the speakers
What will Willis talk about?
He must be tired of show business.
Not our Class, Darling
by Maureen Dowd
The arrival of Dick Cheney, with his "Dr. No" voting record strafing
the little folk,
may give Prince Albert more credibility as a populist.
Subject: Republican Delegates
Does the racial makeup of the GOP delegates
remind you of a laundry detergent
commercial? They're whiter than white. They're predominantly males over 50
who make over $50,000 a year. That's really representative of America!
ha ha, true.
But onstage, it'll be black children, elderly women & disabled gays.
Condoleeza and Scowcroft Admit He's Not Ready
Bush's top foreign policy adviser, Condoleezza Rice admitted that
"certainly doesn't have a great deal of foreign affairs experience."
Bush's father's national security adviser and now Brent Scowcroft
"Is he comfortable with foreign policy? I would say not," Scowcroft said.
EX-WIFE: Newt Knew I Was Ailing, the Bastard
WASHINGTON - Newt won't be winning the Mr. Sensitivity Award any
The former House Speaker and his ex-wife, Marianne Gingrich, are in a bit of
a dispute over whether Newt knew that she might have multiple sclerosis
when he told her on Mother's Day 1999 that he wanted a divorce.
For the ham-handed Newtster, breakups are a touchy issue.
He notified his first wife, Jackie Battley, that he was divorcing
her in 1981
after she was hospitalized with cancer.
Marianne's lawyer said Newt knew in September 1998 - eight months
notified her that he was ditching her - that Marianne had been diagnosed with
a neurological condition that might be a "forerunner of multiple sclerosis,"
according to the Atlanta neurosurgeon who treated her.
But Newt's lawyer, Randy Evans, said yesterday Newt didn't know
might have had MS when he broke the bad news to her.
Evans said he and Newt learned later - sometime during the divorce
started in May 1999 and ended in April 2000 - about Marianne's condition.
"His nose is growing," responded Marianne's lawyer and friend, Victoria Toensing.
When Evans was told that Marianne's account differed from his,
"That's not my recollection."
But then Evans was forced to backtrack, and had to admit it was
possible that they
discussed her alarming medical situation privately, like married people tend to do
when one's life is at stake. Claiming he didn't find out until during the divorce case,
as Newt claimed publically, was "horseshit," according to attorney Toensing.
Newt, 57, told Marianne, 48, he wanted to end their 19-year marriage
while she was visiting his mother on Mother's Day.
Newt, 57, secretly was having intercourse with congressional aide
Callista Bisek, 34,
whom he plans to marry next month in Alexandria, Va. That would make Bisek
wife No. 3 for the champion of "traditional American values."
Toensing said Newt knew about her MS when she went to Emory University
in Atlanta and was diagnosed with possible MS in September 1998.
While spending tens of millions of dollars trying to hound the
President out of office,
Newt was caught cheating on the wife he cheated with on his first wife.
After resigning in disgrace, Newt was hired by - you guessed it - Fox Whore News
to give us more "fair and balanced" coverage of Clinton's cock.
Subject: You Dumb Mother Fucker
You spell his last name 'Limba'
But it's actually Spelled 'Limbaugh'
p.s 'You're a Dumb Mother Fucker'
Great Smirk Quotes
"David Dreier, now a Republican congressman from California,"
"recalls young Bush excitedly telling him, 'I've got the greatest idea of how to raise
money for the campaign. Have your mother send a letter to your family's Christmas
card list. I just did and I got $350,000!'
It didn't occur to Bush that not everyone has Barbara Bush's Rolodex
full of senators and statesmen and G.O.P. fat cats."
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