Great DJ Quotes
Anybody who's a religious fanatic is
Look at Dr. Laura, ready to damn people for their sexuality.
I would like to see a Jewish vice president.
I may have to endorse Lieberman … even though
he badmouths me, 'cause I ain't going with Bush.
Subject: Hillary poll
Hillary has pulled ahead of Rick the
Lick Lazio in their Senate race,
according to a poll released on Wednesday.
The First Lady led the Lick
46 percent to 43 percent in the Aug. 2-8 poll.
The survey had a margin of error of 2.8 Jews.
Two weeks ago, a poll showed the two candidates locked in a tie.
As you'd expect, Rush said Hillary leading The Lick was "more
because she's still under 50 percent.
Y'know, Pigboy, they don't give you an extra medal for topping
Pres. Clinton first reversed the Reagan Error with 42 percent.
Then, as the voters got to know him better, they rewarded his most excellent
work by renewing his contract for a long as was legally possible.
Besides, Capt Oink, as long as voters trust us more than you, who cares?
Pat Buchanan's Convention is Tomorrow?
Is this right?
Will the cameras be there?
We want Pat in the debates.
He'll chew up Smirk like the cotton candy he is.
After reading your afternoon rants, I followed the link to that idiot, "Skirtboy's" page.
I found this lovely little rant he added:
"Gov Bush stood before the world and
admitted to using cocaine
(and didn't cop out with an "I didn't inhale speech").
He takes full credit for his own actions."
Did Smirk ever really admit to being a crackhead?
A fellow journalist
Skirtboy is wrong.
No, Smirk's confession hasn't come yet.
Smirk has refused to talk about his cocaine abuse.
He would only admit that he refuses to talk about it,
yet he preaches "personal responsibility" for the rest of us.
...and he's going to kill two men tonight.
Subject: Planned Parenthood
Actually, Margaret Sanger did not found Planned Parenthood
but rather its predecessor, the American Birth Control League.
I have no idea who founded PP.
Allow time to fully load.
Thanks to miakulper at
Based on an idea BrainSmasher had.
You know what this is?
It's the sign to my second bar.
That sign cost more than I made in the year 1993.
Subject: Truth Rejector Stuck in Reverse
America's Truth Rejector got stuck in reverse today.
He warned about Lieberman associating with "pathological liar" Al Gore.
He warned that this could destroy Lieberman's reputation for integrity.
He backed up his slander by running through his usual litany of
tired old lies
about Al Gore; Internet Inventor, Love Story Role Model, Love Canal Discoverer.
Now, PigBoy KNOWS all these stories are false, yet he keeps on
Who's the pathological liar?
How will this affect PigBoy's reputation for honesty?
Gene Lyons Shoots, Scores
The LA She-Thing, Forced to Eat it
Gateway, a Fortune 250 company that posted profits of $122 million
second quarter of 2000, removed the ads because of what they called
Schlessinger's "discriminatory" nature.
Grocery retailer Kroger Co., which claims to be the nation's largest
food company, has dropped its advertising on Schlessinger's affiliates in Texas,
Previous defectors include:
Sears, Roebuck and Co.,
Procter & Gamble,
Subject: Franken gigs Bush
Did you hear Al Frankin say that ol' GW
was for the children and compassionate?
"Yep, he ain't executed no 14 year old's - YET!"
Franken was good.
I thought his best line of the night was,
"Cheney is a good man, very qualified. You know, for the first time in a while,
three of the four men running on the two tickets are qualified to be president."
Great Demo Quotes
We hear a lot of talk from Bush about "compassion", and about
but when push comes to shove, it's always kids and the poor that
Bush and Cheney are pushing and shoving.
Bush fought against covering 200,000 poor kids under the Children's
Insurance Program in Texas. And he failed to feed about 90% of his state's
hungry kids just last summer. Jesus said, "Suffer the children to come unto
me." With Bush it's more like, "Suffer, children."
-- Paul Begala
Subject: VCR ALERT
Dumbya and Pickles will be on Barbara Walters tonight at 10 on
Barbara said Pickles talks about murdering her boyfriend
and Dumbya lies about being a drunk.
she also said he talks about how Jesus fits into his daily decision making.
I wonder how Jesus will fit into killing two more Texans out of the Lord's love tonight?
Prescott Bush/Planned Parenthood Stuff you didn't know
Thanks to Moose & Squirrel in KC, MO
Note to Skirtboy: The following is
a great example of how to frame a complaint.
This is a near-perfect letter.
He uses numbers, he got right to the point, he was specific, and
he had enough substance to not need personal slurs to make his point.
I must point out two glaring inaccuracies, among others, on your web site:
1) If you're referring to Rush as "Pigboy"
as a comment about his weight,
you need to brush up on your current events.
The weight has been gone for several months.
You have made a mistake that's not entirely your fault.
Yes, he's been the Pigboy for many years, but that term's primary purpose
is to point out the neanderthal, pig-headed thinking he uses when he describes
the black, gay and female Americans with whom he disagrees politically.
It's my assertion that the man is a pig, even if he weighs 90 pounds.
2) Quoting you, "When Drudge prints
a false RUMOR, such as the one claiming
Clinton was the father of a child with a black crack-whore in Arkansas."
That is patently false.
Drudge merely reported that a test was being
done to determine the father.
And that was 100 percent accurate--there WAS a test being done.
And when the test was found negative, Drudge was the first to report as such
--naturally, before the other sloths at the major networks did.
No, Drudge printed much, much, much more
It's hard to discuss it without having the page in front of me, but Drudge, even with
his worse-than-mine writing "skills," has a way of taking the reader to his point
without ever using words that can be used against him, say, in court.
Drudge said a mountain of stuff like, "For years, Arkansas has buzzed about
the little black boy, because everyone knows what kind of man Clinton is.
All of the people who've seen the little black boy admit the child looks
exactly like our current president."
That's the difference between a responsible
journalist and a dirty whore who's
HIDING his political bias behind the facade of a "responsible" journalist.
"all the people"
were all used to paint a picture without making the actual claim.
Drudge's whore talk was intended for Clinton-hating people - people who would
"get" what he was saying, without him having to use the words that would actually
hold him accountable if he was called on it.
Like the Pigboy, Drudge says things without
Do you think the people who repeated Drudge's story kept in all the qualifiers?
Do you remember the day Rush said Hillary
murdered Vince Foster?
True, he didn't use those exact words, in that order.
But what Rush did was warn his listeners to "brace themselves," (as you might
when telling a family member someone has died) for this "just-in report" giving
the location where "Foster was originally murdered," which Rush said was
"in an apartment owned by Hillary," before being moved to Ft. Marcy Park.
Also, note that Rush broadcast this "report"
at 58 minutes past the hour,
so ditto-monkey listeners would have seven or eight minutes to phone friends
and throw gas on this wild-ass piece-of-shit allegation before he came back at
six minutes past the next hour to credit the never-heard-of source of this
juiciest-of-all rumors ever broadcast over the AM airwaves.
This is how Rush works, it's how Drudge
works, and, since Clinton was elected,
this is how all of the American media works. This is a whore country now.
They should all be fucking ashamed of themselves.
Drudge got to spread his bullshit all over
the New York Whore Times.
Drudge should be listed as a contributing editor, if he's the one who gets to
pick and choose which stories will be on the NYWT's front page.
There was never any reason for that woman
to have the child tested.
It was just another stupid, clumsy attempt to embarrass Clinton,
and the fucking New York Whore Times ran this on their front page,
proving they have the same amount of integrity as Drudge the Sludge.
I'm so old, I remember when the New York Times was a respected paper.
Now of course, you may not intend for any
of that stuff to be taken seriously,
but if so, might I suggest you preface your material as such...........
"All material contained herein is merely
intended for laughs and grins, and
may or may not contain any semblance of substance or accuracy."
The only thing anyone should take seriously
on my page is when I say,
"Swear to Koresh." That means take it to the bank, I saw it with my own eyes,
it's solid gold and you can depend on it.
You may think I have a lot in common with
Pigboy and Drudge, but I've
admitted from the first few issues that I mix lies with the truth to entertain.
I cringe when I get mail saying, "I used your quote from XXX in my newspaper column."
One should never assume what they read or see on TV is true.
Not here, not the New York Whore Times, not CNN - nobody!
This has always been a comedy page first.
That's a good disclaimer you wrote, but understand I can't open every issue
with a reminder to ignore everything I'm about to say.
Funny, even with my admission that I'm trying
to entertain, you'll get a lot more honesty
from me than you will from a bunch of money-grubbing whores who are trying to sell
airtime with fantastic, made-up stories about Clinton's cock.
Just a suggestion.........
Dave, it was a good suggestion.
Thanks for writing, don't be a stranger.
By the way, you opened with "among others."
I'd enjoy Round Two, if you'd like.
Subject: How Come...?
I see you draw lots of attack letters for
being opinionated, loud-mouthed,
know-it-all, unfair, biased, and whatnot. Yet El Rusho does this every day.
Sounds like fair play to me.
I've been listening to Rush since about 1991.
I've never heard him debate anyone or anything.
He makes shit up, then "defends it" when there's nobody who can call him on it
because he's a yellow coward and a liar, hiding behind his call screener.
On the other hand, I have been searching for a good debate since
that same time, 1991. I forget the exact date I got my first computer, but I
remember going to the "Radio" section of Prodigy's Bulletin Boards and
reading this hero-worship about El Fraudbo.
I remember my first ever message, too.
It went something like, "You guys know he's kidding, right?"
I was blasted with a coupla dozen replies saying, "No, Rush is
Rush is always right 98.6 percent of the time, Rush was sent here to
save America, Rush is the Turnpike of Truth and Honesty," yada, yada, yada.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
They really thought that way?
They weren't kidding?
Of course, they couldn't back up their opinion with anything concrete,
but they were so fucking sure that Rush was the living God on Earth.
Since those days, I've been searching for someone who will defend
crap that comes out of Rush's mouth. There is no such person in cyber space,
especially that cowardly ditt-without-a-clue at rushonline.com
It's hard to believe someone would dedicate a page to the man
and not be able to defend him or the shit he makes up.
That's all I ask from the ditto-monkeys.
If you can defend Rush Limbaugh, stand the fuck up and do it.
If you can't, that's OK, too, but don't go around spewing some idiotic opinion
that you can't back up, like that poor insecure Pigboy does if you can't even
meet the beginnings of a challenge.
The two best friends Rush has in the world are his call-screener
volume button for when the screener fucks up and lets one get through.
I admit I'm opinionated and biased, sure, but I'm also able to
unlike the trembling vagina behind the "golden" EIB microphone.
That's why the guestbook exists,
so ditto-spanks can't claim I'm afraid to face them.
Does Rush have any vehicle for challengers to register?
Don't be silly.
Comparing the Conventions
This was originally written as a morale booster,
but it looks like we don't need that anymore, do we?
They had Pickles Smirk.
We have Hillary Clinton, then Bill Clinton
I think we'll win that night.
They had Condoleeza Rice Pilaf
We have Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg.
I think we'll win that night.
We could win Tuesday by a monsterous landslide.
Nobody knows how good she might be.
If she has just 20 percent of her father's oratory skills,
this will be a night to remember.
They had the ailing Dick Cheney
We have JoeL, the most ethical man in Washington,
who's a better speaker than the ailing Dick
They had the Smirk.
We have the next president of the United States,
and don't forget his last two convention speeches.
...so the question is,
how many points down will Smirk be next weekend?
From our United Kingdom Correspondent
Subject: Nixon's October Surprise
There's some new evidence emerged that Nixon might have been elected
due to an October Surprise of his very own - persuading South Vietnam
to pull out of peace talks in 1968 because he'd get them a better deal.
Sound familiar at all?
Not only was Bush a traitor,
he wasn't even having an original idea...
The full story is at:
Subject: Pregnant teenage girls!
No, not an e-porn solicitation, but news that teen pregnancies
are at their lowest point since records began to be
kept in 1940. Thanks, President Reagan!
No, wait. Twelve years ago would be George the First.
I _knew_ his social policies would work!
Monday, Larry King said, "Prescott Bush founded Planned Parenthood."
I asked if that was true.
Subject: Who founded Planned Parenthood - Update
Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood in 1914.
She did so in response to Fascist "eugenics" believers who felt that a woman's
reproductive responsibilities were to the state-even if it meant having so many
kids it destroyed her health. All things aside, they believed it was better for
people to have SO MANY kids they couldn't feed all of them,
allowing "Natural Selection" to weed out the "Defective", or "weak".
Ever since, the Nazi Right-(Wrong?) has
made false accusations about her work.
Taking Quotes out of context to prove she was as racist as they were - and still are
for that matter. Nazi Financier and Traitor Granddaddy butch had nothing to do
with Planned Parenthood. Except, of course, Hitler's attemps at controlling Jewish populations..........
Frank, thanks for that.
Someone suggested Prescott Bush founded the Connecticut chapter,
but that's not what 8-Wives said.
Larry King should watch his ass.
Here's a quick-loading site you'll like...
Skirt-boy has 19K worth of complaints at
(For some reason Netscape won't pull it up, but IE will)
Tell you what, Skirtboy.
Distill your bitch down to ten short complaints.
I know you have more, but life is short.
Don't ramble on and on like a hysterical woman.
You ought to be able to boil your question down to 20 words or so
for each complaint you have.
Number them, so your pages of ramblings will be easier to decypher,
and I'll answer them. I have a feeling no matter what answers I give,
you'll have another 19K worth of responses, and I want to do the short
I don't mind going a few rounds with a ditto-monkey - it's what
but let's keep the debate in boxes so you don't wander all over the place.
Numbers can be your friend.
But make your next shot your best one.
If you have a question or statement I can't answer,
you can always whine about it on the guest book,
and thanks for being a loyal reader.
PS. be sure to use numbers and be brief, OK?
Subject: Double Execution in Texas tonight....
Back to Back executions in Texas tonight.
I think Bush is shooting himself in the foot again.
One of the guys being executed has an IQ
Must be a ditto-head.....
Goddamn, he's a compassionate son-of-a-bitch, isn't he?
What would Jesus do?
Jesus was his favorite political philospoher, remember?
Would Jesus murder two men for political gain?
If the death penalty is a deterrent, why doesn't it deter men
You know, if Smirk won the White House, just about the only way
he could continue his killing spree is ordering the military into situations
where they had to fix his foreign policy bungling, like his daddy did.
when you go back to being just a murdering governor,
it's going to be really hard to fill these pages...
Great Sports Quotes
"I'm flattered that Dennis Miller always says
his ideal woman
is Julia Childs in the kitchen, Traci Lords in the bedroom,
and Leslie Visser doing a game."
-- Leslie Visser, fired from ABC, now at CBS
I figured you would read this. Well since
you ran out on our debate
made a nice lil parody of your site, and placed the debate on it,
I have decided to post it on your guest book with the words
coward to attract your veiwers to it so that they may see how you
skirt real arguments.
This robert hensley guy is going to expose me!
What will I do?
Anybody remember this guy?
Or which debate I ran out of?
Tell you what, Cubby.
You used the word "skirt" in your attack.
Let's tangle, and see who's wearing it when we're done.
Great JoeL Quotes
"Our opponents have done all they can to blur
the differences. Yesterday,
they even responded to news that Al Gore picked me by saying that Smirk
and I think alike,'' Lieberman said, adding one of Gore's favorite zingers:
"With all due respect,
I think that's like saying that the veterinarian and the taxidermist are in
the same business because either way, you get your dog back.''
Who knew Jews were funny?
What did I tell you? At Joe's party today, Al said the first bill
send to congress will be campaign finance reform. Can you hear it now?
"I propose to do nothing less than restore the principal of one-man,
upon which this country was founded."
Big business is already starting to hold back on Smirk and Snarl.
Al and Joe will get the bulk of the McCain vote!
It will be Bush/Dick's corrupt old guard against Al and Joe's New America!
It's Al/Joe by a minimum of 8 in November.
Great Republican Quotes
"I think he already eats it."
--Barbara Bush, talking about Smirk
Time Magazine, August 14, page 30
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