Great DJ Quotes
Anybody who's a religious fanatic is
dangerous.
Look at Dr. Laura, ready to damn people
for their sexuality.
I would like to see a Jewish vice president.
I may have to endorse Lieberman … even
though
he badmouths me, 'cause I ain't going
with Bush.
--Howard Stern
From: JennyQ1@aol.com
Subject: Hillary poll
Hillary has pulled ahead of Rick the
Lick Lazio in their Senate race,
according to a poll released on Wednesday.
The First Lady led the Lick
46 percent to 43 percent in the Aug. 2-8 poll.
The survey had a margin of error of 2.8
Jews.
Two weeks ago, a poll showed the two candidates locked in a tie.
As you'd expect, Rush said Hillary leading The Lick was "more
bad news,"
because she's still under 50 percent.
Y'know, Pigboy, they don't give you an extra medal for topping
50 percent.
Pres. Clinton first reversed the Reagan Error with 42 percent.
Then, as the voters got to know him better, they rewarded his
most excellent
work by renewing his contract for a long as was legally possible.
Besides, Capt Oink, as long as voters trust us more than you, who cares?
Pat Buchanan's Convention is Tomorrow?
Is this right?
Will the cameras be there?
We want Pat in the debates.
He'll chew up Smirk like the cotton candy
he is.
From: (withheld)
BC,
After reading your afternoon rants, I followed
the link to that idiot, "Skirtboy's" page.
I found this lovely little rant he added:
"Gov Bush stood before the world and
admitted to using cocaine
(and didn't cop out with an "I
didn't inhale speech").
He takes full credit for his own actions."
Did Smirk ever really admit to being a crackhead?
Signed,
A fellow journalist
Surprise, surprise.
Skirtboy is wrong.
No, Smirk's confession hasn't come yet.
Smirk has refused to talk about his cocaine abuse.
He would only admit that he refuses to talk about it,
yet he preaches "personal responsibility" for the rest of us.
...and he's going to kill two men tonight.
Subject: Planned Parenthood
From: jmartin@netarrant.net
Actually, Margaret Sanger did not found Planned Parenthood
but rather its predecessor, the American Birth Control League.
I have no idea who founded PP.
Josh
Allow time to fully load.
Thanks to miakulper at
http://209.1.224.10/za7z/Pics.html
Based on an idea BrainSmasher had.
You know what this is?
It's the sign to my second bar.
That sign cost more than I made in the year 1993.
Subject: Truth Rejector Stuck in Reverse
From: efriedma@eos.east.hitc.com
America's Truth Rejector got stuck in reverse today.
He warned about Lieberman associating with "pathological liar"
Al Gore.
He warned that this could destroy Lieberman's reputation for
integrity.
He backed up his slander by running through his usual litany of
tired old lies
about Al Gore; Internet Inventor, Love Story Role Model,
Love Canal Discoverer.
Now, PigBoy KNOWS all these stories are false, yet he keeps on
repeating them.
Who's the pathological liar?
How will this affect PigBoy's reputation for honesty?
ha ha
Gene Lyons Shoots, Scores
The LA She-Thing, Forced to Eat it
Gateway, a Fortune 250 company that posted profits of $122 million
in the
second quarter of 2000, removed the ads because of what they
called
Schlessinger's "discriminatory" nature.
Grocery retailer Kroger Co., which claims to be the nation's largest
retail
food company, has dropped its advertising on Schlessinger's affiliates
in Texas,
Previous defectors include:
EchoStar,
Sears, Roebuck and Co.,
Procter & Gamble,
American Express,
United Airlines,
AT&T,
Kraft,
Geico Insurance,
Xerox,
SkyTel,
Amica Insurance,
Box.com,
ToysRUs.com, and
TCF Bank.
From: sniper@cei.net
Subject: Franken gigs Bush
Did you hear Al Frankin say that ol' GW
was for the children and compassionate?
"Yep, he ain't executed no 14 year old's
- YET!"
Sonny Scott
Franken was good.
I thought his best line of the night was,
"Cheney is a good man, very qualified. You know, for the first
time in a while,
three of the four men running on the two tickets are
qualified to be president."
ha ha
Great Demo Quotes
We hear a lot of talk from Bush about "compassion", and about
his religion,
but when push comes to shove, it's always kids and the poor that
Bush and Cheney are pushing and shoving.
Bush fought against covering 200,000 poor kids under the Children's
Health
Insurance Program in Texas. And he failed to feed about 90% of
his state's
hungry kids just last summer. Jesus said, "Suffer the children
to come unto
me." With Bush it's more like, "Suffer, children."
-- Paul Begala
From: SanoLushis@aol.com
Subject: VCR ALERT
Dumbya and Pickles will be on Barbara Walters tonight at 10 on
ABC.
Barbara said Pickles talks about murdering her boyfriend
and Dumbya lies about being a drunk.
Oh yeah,
she also said he talks about how Jesus fits into his daily decision
making.
I wonder how Jesus will fit into killing two more Texans out
of the Lord's love tonight?
ha ha
Prescott Bush/Planned Parenthood Stuff you didn't know
Thanks to Moose & Squirrel in KC, MO
Note to Skirtboy: The following is
a great example of how to frame a complaint.
This is a near-perfect letter.
He uses numbers, he got right to the point,
he was specific, and
he had enough substance to not need personal
slurs to make his point.
Subject: Inaccuracies
From: dlhenry@netzero.net
Bart,
I must point out two glaring inaccuracies, among others, on your web site:
1) If you're referring to Rush as "Pigboy"
as a comment about his weight,
you need to brush up on your current events.
The weight has been gone for several months.
Dave,
You have made a mistake that's not entirely
your fault.
Yes, he's been the Pigboy for many years,
but that term's primary purpose
is to point out the neanderthal, pig-headed
thinking he uses when he describes
the black, gay and female Americans with
whom he disagrees politically.
It's my assertion that the man is a pig,
even if he weighs 90 pounds.
2) Quoting you, "When Drudge prints
a false RUMOR, such as the one claiming
Clinton was the father of a child with
a black crack-whore in Arkansas."
That is patently false.
Drudge merely reported that a test was being
done to determine the father.
And that was 100 percent accurate--there
WAS a test being done.
And when the test was found negative, Drudge
was the first to report as such
--naturally, before the other sloths at
the major networks did.
No, Drudge printed much, much, much more
than that.
It's hard to discuss it without having
the page in front of me, but Drudge, even with
his worse-than-mine writing "skills," has
a way of taking the reader to his point
without ever using words that can be used
against him, say, in court.
Example:
Drudge said a mountain of stuff like,
"For years, Arkansas has buzzed about
the little black boy, because everyone
knows what kind of man Clinton is.
All of the people who've seen the little
black boy admit the child looks
exactly like our current president."
That's the difference between a responsible
journalist and a dirty whore who's
HIDING his political bias behind the facade
of a "responsible" journalist.
"for years"
"buzzed"
"everyone knows"
"all the people"
"admit"
"exactly like"
Those phrases
were all used to paint a picture without making the actual claim.
Drudge's whore talk was intended for Clinton-hating
people - people who would
"get" what he was saying, without him having
to use the words that would actually
hold him accountable if he was called on
it.
Like the Pigboy, Drudge says things without
really
saying them.
Do you think the people who repeated Drudge's
story kept in all the qualifiers?
Do you remember the day Rush said Hillary
murdered Vince Foster?
True, he didn't use those exact words,
in that order.
But what Rush did was warn his listeners
to "brace themselves," (as you might
when telling a family member someone has
died) for this "just-in report" giving
the location where "Foster was originally
murdered," which Rush said was
"in an apartment owned by Hillary," before
being moved to Ft. Marcy Park.
Also, note that Rush broadcast this "report"
at 58 minutes past the hour,
so ditto-monkey listeners would have seven
or eight minutes to phone friends
and throw gas on this wild-ass piece-of-shit
allegation before he came back at
six minutes past the next hour to credit
the never-heard-of source of this
juiciest-of-all rumors ever broadcast over
the AM airwaves.
This is how Rush works, it's how Drudge
works, and, since Clinton was elected,
this is how all of the American media works.
This is a whore country now.
They should all be fucking ashamed of themselves.
Drudge got to spread his bullshit all over
the New York Whore Times.
Drudge should be listed as a contributing
editor, if he's the one who gets to
pick and choose which stories will be on
the NYWT's front page.
There was never any reason for that woman
to have the child tested.
It was just another stupid, clumsy attempt
to embarrass Clinton,
and the fucking New York Whore Times ran
this on their front page,
proving they have the same amount of integrity
as Drudge the Sludge.
I'm so old, I remember when the New York
Times was a respected paper.
Now of course, you may not intend for any
of that stuff to be taken seriously,
but if so, might I suggest you preface
your material as such...........
"All material contained herein is merely
intended for laughs and grins, and
may or may not contain any semblance of
substance or accuracy."
The only thing anyone should take seriously
on my page is when I say,
"Swear to Koresh." That means take
it to the bank, I saw it with my own eyes,
it's solid gold and you can depend on
it.
You may think I have a lot in common with
Pigboy and Drudge, but I've
admitted from the first few issues that
I mix lies with the truth to entertain.
I cringe when I get mail saying, "I used
your quote from XXX in my newspaper column."
One should never assume what they read
or see on TV is true.
Not here, not the New York Whore Times,
not CNN - nobody!
This has always been a comedy page first.
That's a good disclaimer you wrote, but
understand I can't open every issue
with a reminder to ignore everything I'm
about to say.
Funny, even with my admission that I'm trying
to entertain, you'll get a lot more honesty
from me than you will from a bunch of money-grubbing
whores who are trying to sell
airtime with fantastic, made-up stories
about Clinton's cock.
Just a suggestion.........
Dave
Dave, it was a good suggestion.
Thanks for writing, don't be a stranger.
By the way, you opened with "among others."
I'd enjoy Round Two, if you'd like.
Subject: How Come...?
From: Paulwetor@aol.com
I see you draw lots of attack letters for
being opinionated, loud-mouthed,
know-it-all, unfair, biased, and whatnot.
Yet El Rusho does this every day.
Sounds like fair play to me.
I've been listening to Rush since about 1991.
I've never heard him debate anyone or anything.
He makes shit up, then "defends it" when there's nobody who can
call him on it
because he's a yellow coward and a liar, hiding behind his call
screener.
On the other hand, I have been searching for a good debate since
around
that same time, 1991. I forget the exact date I got my first
computer, but I
remember going to the "Radio" section of Prodigy's Bulletin Boards
and
reading this hero-worship about El Fraudbo.
I remember my first ever message, too.
It went something like, "You guys know he's kidding, right?"
I was blasted with a coupla dozen replies saying, "No, Rush is
God,
Rush is always right 98.6 percent of the time, Rush was sent
here to
save America, Rush is the Turnpike of Truth and Honesty," yada,
yada, yada.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
They really thought that way?
They weren't kidding?
Of course, they couldn't back up their opinion with anything concrete,
but they were so fucking sure that Rush was the living God on
Earth.
Since those days, I've been searching for someone who will defend
the wild
crap that comes out of Rush's mouth. There is no such person
in cyber space,
especially that cowardly ditt-without-a-clue at rushonline.com
It's hard to believe someone would dedicate a page to the man
and not be able to defend him or the shit he makes up.
That's all I ask from the ditto-monkeys.
If you can defend Rush Limbaugh, stand the fuck up and do it.
If you can't, that's OK, too, but don't go around spewing some
idiotic opinion
that you can't back up, like that poor insecure Pigboy does if
you can't even
meet the beginnings of a challenge.
The two best friends Rush has in the world are his call-screener
and the
volume button for when the screener fucks up and lets one get
through.
I admit I'm opinionated and biased, sure, but I'm also able to
defend myself,
unlike the trembling vagina behind the "golden" EIB microphone.
That's why the guestbook exists,
so ditto-spanks can't claim I'm afraid to face them.
Does Rush have any vehicle for challengers to register?
ha ha
Don't be silly.
Comparing the Conventions
This was originally written as a morale
booster,
but it looks like we don't need that
anymore, do we?
ha ha
Monday
They had Pickles Smirk.
We have Hillary Clinton, then Bill Clinton
I think we'll win that night.
ha ha
Tuesday
They had Condoleeza Rice Pilaf
We have Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg.
I think we'll win that night.
We could win Tuesday by a monsterous landslide.
Nobody knows how good she might be.
If she has just 20 percent of her father's oratory skills,
this will be a night to remember.
Wednesday
They had the ailing Dick Cheney
We have JoeL, the most ethical man in Washington,
who's a better speaker than the ailing Dick
Thursday
They had the Smirk.
We have the next president of the United States,
and don't forget his last two convention speeches.
...so the question is,
how many points down will Smirk be next weekend?
From our United Kingdom Correspondent
Subject: Nixon's October Surprise
From: piratecorps@onetel.net.uk
There's some new evidence emerged that Nixon might have been elected
due to an October Surprise of his very own - persuading South
Vietnam
to pull out of peace talks in 1968 because he'd get them a better
deal.
Sound familiar at all?
Not only was Bush a traitor,
he wasn't even having an original idea...
The full story is at:
http://www.guardianunlimited.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,352224,00.html
Nick Barlow
Subject: Pregnant teenage girls!
From: cute_anarchist@genslab.com
No, not an e-porn solicitation, but news that teen pregnancies
are at their lowest point since records began to be
kept in 1940. Thanks, President Reagan!
No, wait. Twelve years ago would be George the First.
I _knew_ his social policies would work!
CB
ha ha
Monday, Larry King said, "Prescott Bush founded Planned Parenthood."
I asked if that was true.
Subject: Who founded Planned Parenthood - Update
From: ffoster55@voyager.net
BC,
Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood
in 1914.
She did so in response to Fascist "eugenics"
believers who felt that a woman's
reproductive responsibilities were to the
state-even if it meant having so many
kids it destroyed her health. All things
aside, they believed it was better for
people to have SO MANY kids they couldn't
feed all of them,
allowing "Natural Selection" to weed out
the "Defective", or "weak".
Ever since, the Nazi Right-(Wrong?) has
made false accusations about her work.
Taking Quotes out of context to prove she
was as racist as they were - and still are
for that matter. Nazi Financier and Traitor
Granddaddy butch had nothing to do
with Planned Parenthood. Except, of course,
Hitler's attemps at controlling Jewish populations..........
Frank F
Frank, thanks for that.
Someone suggested Prescott Bush founded the Connecticut chapter,
but that's not what 8-Wives said.
Larry King should watch his ass.
Here's a quick-loading site you'll like...
http://www.markfiore.com/animation/compas.html
Update
Skirt-boy has 19K worth of complaints at
http://www.geocities.com/thein3546/hip/hypocrit.htm
(For some reason Netscape won't pull it up, but
IE will)
Tell you what, Skirtboy.
Distill your bitch down to ten short complaints.
I know you have more, but life is short.
Don't ramble on and on like a hysterical woman.
You ought to be able to boil your question down to 20 words or
so
for each complaint you have.
Number them, so your pages of ramblings will be easier to decypher,
and I'll answer them. I have a feeling no matter what answers
I give,
you'll have another 19K worth of responses, and I want to do
the short
version first.
I don't mind going a few rounds with a ditto-monkey - it's what
I do,
but let's keep the debate in boxes so you don't wander all over
the place.
Numbers can be your friend.
But make your next shot your best one.
If you have a question or statement I can't answer,
(snicker)
you can always whine about it on the guest book,
and thanks for being a loyal reader.
PS. be sure to use numbers and be brief, OK?
From: garic2k@yahoo.com
Subject: Double Execution in Texas tonight....
Back to Back executions in Texas tonight.
I think Bush is shooting himself in the
foot again.
One of the guys being executed has an IQ
of 63.
Must be a ditto-head.....
Craig
ha ha
Goddamn, he's a compassionate son-of-a-bitch, isn't he?
What would Jesus do?
Jesus was his favorite political philospoher, remember?
Would Jesus murder two men for political gain?
If the death penalty is a deterrent, why doesn't it deter men
in Texas?
You know, if Smirk won the White House, just about the only way
he could continue his killing spree is ordering the military
into situations
where they had to fix his foreign policy bungling, like his daddy
did.
Oh, Smirk,
after November,
when you go back to being just a murdering governor,
it's going to be really hard to fill these pages...
Great Sports Quotes
"I'm flattered that Dennis Miller always says
his ideal woman
is Julia Childs in the kitchen, Traci
Lords in the bedroom,
and Leslie Visser doing a game."
-- Leslie Visser, fired from ABC, now at CBS
From: gatto99@yahoo.com
Subject: Coward!
I figured you would read this. Well since
you ran out on our debate
made a nice lil parody of your site, and
placed the debate on it,
I have decided to post it on your guest
book with the words
coward to attract your veiwers to it so
that they may see how you
skirt real arguments.
Thanks
robert hensley
Oh, no!
This robert hensley guy is going to expose me!
What will I do?
ha ha
Anybody remember this guy?
Or which debate I ran out of?
Tell you what, Cubby.
You used the word "skirt" in your attack.
Let's tangle, and see who's wearing it when we're done.
ha ha
Great JoeL Quotes
"Our opponents have done all they can to blur
the differences. Yesterday,
they even responded to news that Al
Gore picked me by saying that Smirk
and I think alike,'' Lieberman said,
adding one of Gore's favorite zingers:
"With all due respect,
I think that's like saying that the
veterinarian and the taxidermist are in
the same business because either way,
you get your dog back.''
ha ha
Who knew Jews were funny?
From: grswld206@peoplepc.com
Subject: Ha!
What did I tell you? At Joe's party today, Al said the first bill
he will
send to congress will be campaign finance reform. Can you hear
it now?
"I propose to do nothing less than restore the principal of one-man,
one-vote
upon which this country was founded."
It's huge!
Big business is already starting to hold back on Smirk and Snarl.
Al and Joe will get the bulk of the McCain vote!
It will be Bush/Dick's corrupt old guard against Al and Joe's
New America!
It's Al/Joe by a minimum of 8 in November.
Mike
Great Republican Quotes
"I think he already eats it."
--Barbara Bush, talking about Smirk
Time Magazine, August 14, page 30
Read Previous Issue
Go to bartcop.com
