Volume 253 - Survivor Fever

 August 23, 2000


 Live 6:56 CST

 After getting as much opinion and background as I could
 from as many sources as possible, (mostly Mrs. BartCop)
 I am predicting the final Survivor is going to be


 I guess we'll know in two hours.
 If you want, check back in at 9PM CST and see who wins the Corvette!


 Survivor Fever - What's your prediction?

 From: sabutai@ix.netcom.com
 The big winner out of all this is CBS, but I hope Richard wins. Anyone who walks
 around naked all day deserves something, hope he used enough sunscreen on his Penis.
 Friction burns down there are bad enough, but sunburn, WOW!

 From: ceol@loa.com
 It's definately not Richard.. I saw something a few week's back that revealed the winner.
 I can't remember who the winner was.  It's either Rudy or one of the women.

 From: jeff.makos@tfn.com
 Here's how the deal will go down:

 1) The first immunity challenge is a quiz on the 12 losers, I mean
 "castaways" booted off on previous shows. Rudy, Susan and Richard are
  political animals, so Kelly goes here.

 2) Next up is the fire walking, which has a huge payoff: The winner not only gets a free pass
  to the final but also he or she gets to pick the other finalist. Rudy wins this one and picks Richard.
  Rudy hates Richard (and "queers" too, which is what he said in Newsweek.)

 3)The last seven losers pick the winner. They all hate Richard so he gets the ax.

 ALSO: EXTRA "BARTCOP" PLUS POINTS for Rudy--Remember that Rudy said about
 Dirk's bible, "It's funny that he brough a bible. The only reason I'd bring
 a Bible [here is] if I needed toilet paper.

 NEGATIVES: The old coot dissed gays and liberals in Newsweek. Fucking Smirk
 supported, I'll bet.

 From: jmcavoy1@altavista.com
 I can't see Rudy winning, I think the tribal council will finally find him too opinionated.
 Rich probably deservs to win.  He worked the hardest on getting food.  He also was the most
 schemeing in setting up the  aliance.  Utilmately, this could be his downfall with the tribal council.

 Sue is too much of a truck driver.
 Come to think of it, she's the one who should be answering your butch/femme questions.

 ha ha

 That leaves the other one.  I don't know her name or what she did or didn't do,
 but by process of elimination, gets the cool million.

 From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com
 I'll go with Rich. He looks like the smart one.

 From:  Ecskitchen@aol.com

 The last survivor will be Kelly !!!!  I think. She is in the best shape of
 any of them and has the best chance to win immunity. If she makes it to the
 final 2, the jury will most  likely vote for her.  Rich and Rudy will be
 tossed by the Pagong faction of the jury and Sean the softy will vote with
 them.  Susan, Rich and Rudy were pretty much selfish and conniving their
 whole time on the island, which is useful when whittling down the tribes but
 can come back to hurt you when the people you wacked are sitting on the jury.

 From: VALERIE002@aol.com


 I've been watching Survivor since the beginning, and I'm rooting for Rudy all the way.

 Rich (the fat naked guy) in no way deserves to win the million. He's
 vindictive and manipulative. (Kinda sounds like a Republican, doesn't he?)

 Sue appears to be a very two-faced piece of trash. I didn't buy the whole
 teary-eyed "Kelly reminds me of my best friend that I had years ago" crap.

 Kelly tried to play two-ends-against-the-middle, and lost... big time. Her
 reluctance to go along with the alliance and then pretend that she really was,
 backfired. The only reason she's stayed on these last two weeks is because she
 won the immunity challenge. It saved her butt.

 This leaves us with Rudy. He's a little crotchety and pretentious,
 but out of all the rest that remain, he deserves it the most.

 Not many predictions...
 What you need in some incentive!

 How about a fully-restored 69 Corvette?

 Nobody gives away prizes like  bartcop.com


 We guarantee that in writing!

 From: mcgriffy@io.com


 A couple of fun campaign finance facts:

 - Bush has outspent Gore nearly 5 to 1 so far according to a Salon
 article quoting the FEC ($97M to $21M)

 - Gore actually has more money in the bank today than Bush ($6M to $4M),
 according to a different Salon article quoting the NYPost.

 ha ha

 Odds are that Bush will have outspent Gore overall when the election season is done,
 but I suspect the margin will be more like 2 to 1 at best.  So ... the race is even with
 a 5 to 1 ratio and both conventions behind us.  I wonder how it will look as Gore's
 spending catches up?

 And, of course, there are still the debates, which everyone seems to
 think are advantage Al.
 Hey Bartcop - you once said that you would never publish praise mail
 and yet I see a lot of quotes saying what a wonderful site you run lately.
 Not that I disagree.  Your site is one of the three I check every day
 (along with Dilbert and Doonesbury) I'm just trying to hold you to your word.

 I don't remember using the word "never," but then again, I don't remember guaranteeing
 that my "big story" would cause Smirk to resign, so the problem must be on my end..
 Maybe I should have my doctor re-check my tumor.

 From: badkitty@bk2k.com

 Noticed that on your links page you left off the Bush Body Count.
 Unintentional, I'm sure!


 Like your new design!


From: arichar4@tampabay.rr.com

 A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue,
 explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout,
 "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

 All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw
 his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.
 After a long pause, the angry member accepted.

 "Ok" he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate
  is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians

 ha ha

 Celebrity Mail

 From: alsmudge@smudgereport.com

 Drudge kept saying that Al Gore had his lower teeth fixed while on vacation
 during the Republican Convention. As if that's some sort of crime.
 Now look at the cover of Time with Al Gore and Joe Lieberman, which had to be taken
 after Gore picked Lieberman, a week after the Republican Convention.

 Let me ask Drudge, when did the Vice President have his lower teeth unfixed?

 Drudge is no match for you.
 It would be eggs-citing to see you tear him apart.

 From the Mind of BrainSmasher

 Click  Here

 Begala Shoots the Bull

 "Austin, Texas." Those two little words in the New York Times today are all
 it says about the schedule of Texas Governor George W. Bush today. Now, Bush
 is ahead by 30 points in his home state. Why, with less than 100 days left to
 campaign for the Presidency, is he taking a precious day off? Certainly not
 to execute someone. Bush doesn't care enough about taking a human life to
 devote more than 15 minutes to death warrants (according to his Chief of
 Staff, Clay Johnson). So why is Bush home? My guess is that because he
 screwed up so badly Monday and Tuesday on the campaign trail.

 What we don't know is why he's retreated back to Austin.
 My guess is there are multiple reasons, including:

 1) He's lazy. Before he ran for President his daily routine included
 three-and-a-half hours off in the middle of the day for exercise, napping and
 video games).

 2) He's not tough. Every time John McCain spanked him in the primaries, W
 would retreat to Austin for the comfort of his little feather pillow that he
 talked about so often on the campaign trail. Remember: he's never done a
 hard thing in his life. Everything has always been handed to him. So even
 his rather leisurely pace of campaigning wears him out when the going gets

 3) He's plotting. Remember in the primaries when he retreated to Austin then
 pronounced himself "A Reformer With Results"? (Dave Letterman said that was
 an improvement on the old slogan, "A Dumb Guy With Connections.") But he
 didn't just emerge with a new slogan. He emerged to lead the most vicious,
 ruthless, amoral campaign against McCain since the days of W's mentor, the
 late Lee Atwater. Look for Bush to do the same now.

 He'll conveniently forget all those sanctimonious promises about not attacking Gore,
 and try to drag Gore and Lieberman into the gutter. Again, keep in mind how
 Bush and his allies smeared McCain. They said this war hero had betrayed
 his fellow POW's. They whispered about his mental health (Pat Robertson
 openly called McCain "unbalanced.") Someone sent out vicious emails about
 McCain, his wife, and his family. It was the most vicious campaign
 since Poppy was falsely accusing Mike Dukakis of being mentally ill.

 Editor's Note: That son-of-a-bitch. And he calls himself a Christian?

 So watch for the new Bush to emerge after a little downtime with his feather
 pillow. Look for a new slogan (printed thousands of times on his backdrop --
 I guess so W doesn't forget it), and then watch for the smear patrol that
 somehow, mysteriously appears every time a Bush is about to lose an election.
 You heard it here first.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 You should respect my feelings.
 I'm not chopped liver.
 I'm not a  plotted pant.

 ha ha

 Pigboy, you're pretty damn close...

 Letter to the Editor

 From: Marc Perkel

  They shouldn't call it a "Surplus"

 I think the words "budget surplus" are not accurate and they confuse the
 political debate about economic policy. The word "surplus" gives people
 the impression that the government has left over money that it doesn't
 know what to do with. Nothing could be further from the truth. What we
 really have is a huge national debt and the ability to finally start paying it off.

 If the national debt were paid off then we would indeed have a surplus.
 In fact, we would have a huge surplus because we wouldn't be paying hundreds
 of billions of dollars in interest on the debt. But in order to get there, we have to
 stay smart and maintain responsible fiscal discipline and continue the economic
 course we're presently on.

 What really bothers me is talk of spending the "projected" surplus.
 The projected surplus is mythical money that certainly will not exist if we
 go back to the policy of squandering money. A lack of responsible spending
 will have real consequences on the future of social security, the stock market,
 and America's economic strength. Just because things have been good lately
 doesn't mean we have the freedom to abandoned sound economic policy.

 From: LadyLiberal@webtv.net

 Subject: bush lite

 Shrubs branches are falling like it`s already Oct.
 I think the end is near.

 Besides the Begalia-reported "hostile"episode, today he started
 talking about a 3 trillion $ tax break,along with 1.9 trillion in spending...
 "There`s trillions & trillions," he declared.

 They`ve been playing it all over the news..even fox (full of  xcrement) news.
 The ppl in the audience were left scratching their heads

 Clinton Courtier

 Great GOP Quotes

 "When we carry Iowa in November,
   it'll mean the end of  four  years of Clinton-Gore.''
    -- Smirk W Bush, the "W" stands for "whore"

 From: Joankitty@aol.com

 Subject: Living in K-Drag


 When I voted yesterday, I discovered the advantage of being a democrat in
 South Tulsa. It took me only a split second to check in and vote on the ONE race.
 My husband, (R-but a great guy anyway) had to take his place at the end of a long line.

 Tiger Woods walks into a 7-11 near a fancy-ass golf course in Bob Barr's district.

 Tiger: How far is it to Country Acres Golf Course?

 Dude: It's close, about a two-wood down the street,
            but they don't allow niggers in there.

 Tiger: You don't understand - I'm Tiger Woods.

 Dude: OH, hell, it's just a seven-iron for you.

 Molly Ivins - always a winner

 Click  Here

 ...............................................................Learn a Second Language
 ..............................................................by Smirk W. Bush   (The "W" stands for "Education")

                                                  In a two-day verbal saga that started late Monday in Des
                                             Moines and continued here Tuesday, Bush decided to offer a
                                             detailed explanation of the $1.3-trillion, 10-year tax cut that forms
                                             the foundation of his presidential bid.

                                                  The backdrop: recent opinion polls that show voters increasingly
                                             believe Vice President Al Gore is better equipped to manage the
                                             economy than Bush--a post-political convention flip-flop--and
                                             Gore's criticism that Bush can't both cut taxes and create programs.
                                             Bush insists he can.

                                                But maybe it was the late hour. Or the Bush clan's
                                             well-documented verbal curse. But the more the Texas governor
                                             talked--sometimes confusing billions with trillions in a rambling
                                             speech--the more puzzled the audience looked at a $210,000 Des
                                             Moines fund-raising dinner.

                                                  "Between now and the next 10 years, our budget's going to
                                             grow from roughly $1.9 billion to an additional spending of $1.9
                                             trillion to an additional spending of $3.3 trillion," Bush began.
                                             "That's before we even account for the surplus.

                                                  "We will spend $3.3 trillion over the next 10 years on top of a
                                             $1.9-trillion budget. We've still got trillions of dollars left of the
                                             surplus, and surely we can give some of the money back to the
                                             people who pay the bills. Surely, surely we can."

                                                  It was an evening of verbal quicksand--Bush also vowed not to
                                             let "terrorists or rogue nations hold our nation hostile or hold our
                                             allies hostile," and Tuesday wasn't much better, no matter how
                                             much Bush and the campaign tried to fix things.

                                                  Before taking off from Des Moines to talk about his education
                                             proposals in Illinois and Missouri, Bush sauntered back in the
                                             campaign plane and tried to explain just what he was getting at.

                                                  "I've got to do a better job of making it clear," he told reporters,
                                             "that starting with a baseline of about $1.9 trillion in the next 10
                                             years, the budgets will increase by about $3.3 trillion. And yet
                                             we've still got another $2.3 trillion of surplus."

                                                  Got that? Neither did the press corps. A few hours later, Scott
                                             McClellan, a campaign spokesman, tried to clear up the
                                             mathematical muddiness during an airport rally here. He couldn't.

                                                  Rep. Ray LaHood (R-Ill.), who warmed up the crowd at an
                                             airport rally here before introducing Bush, didn't help matters when
                                             he described Bush's tax cut plan as "very ambitious" but that many
                                             Americans might find it "problematic."

                                                  When asked by reporters whether voters have an appetite for a
                                             big tax cut--polls have shown that they do not--LaHood replied: "I
                                             think they're thinking about it. I think they're still trying to figure it out."

                                                  Flying from to St. Louis, Bush, Karen Hughes took a crack at
                                             explaining Bush's taxing explanation--after first insisting that Tuesday
                                             on the Bush campaign trail was really about education.
                                                  In fact, Tuesday was a rare slip for the disciplined Bush
                                             campaign, which has come this far by staying studiously on message
                                             for more than a year. But not this day.

                                                  This day, inadvertently, was taxes. And what Bush was trying to
                                             say, Hughes told reporters, is that the current federal budget is
                                             about $1.8 trillion. Over the next 10 years, inflation and expansion
                                             of existing government programs will cost $3.3 trillion more.

                                                  But at the same time, the federal budget surplus will be an
                                             estimated $4.6 trillion. If Bush were president, half of that surplus
                                             would go to save and secure Social Security. And $1.3 trillion
                                             more would go to the tax cut. And that would leave just under $1
                                             trillion for programs covering everything from education to
                                             improving military housing.

                                                  "The point the governor was making is that, when the
                                             Democrats claim that by offering a tax cut you are cutting services,
                                             that is just simply not true," Hughes said.

                                                  Smirk couldn't have said it better himself.

 From: (Withheld)

 Rush has been very critical of FEMA the last couple of days, implying that
 it's an instrument of socialism. The storm appears to be a few hundred
 miles from where Rush lives, but in typical PigBoy fashion he's talking
 brave anyway, eschewing any government help in case his palatial pigsty gets
 slammed by the wrath of the Good Lord (please, oh pretty please).

 I know there are a lot of Rush listeners down in Miami. Do you think they
 resent being told that they are communists feeding on the government tit if
 they accept aid from FEMA? PigBoy is calling his sheep "commies,"
 and they go right on worshipping him.

 If FEMA is so bad, why doesn't W. propose abolishing it? If FEMA is an
 affront to American values, it should be dismantled. W.'s not afraid to
 dismantle one of our most popular agencies, because he just does what's in
 his heart, remember?

 ha ha

 Maybe he can take his campaign down to Miami this weekend
 and explain to all those people that they need to stand up like Americans
 and quit looking for government handouts.

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