Volume 257 - The Drunk Smirk Wedding Video

. August 29, 2000
 Smirk Drunk Wedding Video

 By the way, I just checked.
 The air in Houston today is rated "Unhealthy."

 The little pink lungs of Houston's first graders wrote a letter to their governor.
  It said, "Thanks, Smirk!"

 "I am delighted to be here in Chappaqua, in my home state, in my backyard,"
  Rick (the Lick) Lazio said at one of four fund-raisers he attended yesterday.

 This young man thinks he can beat Hillary by repeating, 3-4 times at every stop,
 that he was born in New York, as tho that was a qualification for the Senate.

 They'd better televise those debates.

 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 Those of us who said Ken Starr had a political agenda are vindicated today.
 The Washington Post reported this weekend that Starr will be the headliner
 for a right-wing, special-interest fundraiser to benefit -- guess who?

 The House Managers,

 the 13 angry men who persecuted the President until they earned a place in political infamy.
 No sooner does Starr finish wasting $50 million of taxpayers' money hounding and hunting
 the President than he's busy raising special interest money to reward the right-wing losers
 who ran the impeachment lynch mob.  Are we still to believe that Starr wasn't a partisan?

 Does any serious person doubt for an instant that he carried that partisan, political agenda
 into the Office of Independent Counsel?  Perhaps Starr suddenly abandoned his lofty,
 judicial impartiality this week.  But given his hard-core partisan record before, during and
 now after the Clinton persecution, the Case Against Ken Starr is now closed.
 The American people have rendered their judgment.  And one day history will validate it.

 It's nice that Starr is finally open and above board in his partisanship -- and that he's applying
 special interest money instead of taxpayers' to his vengeful pursuits.

 Is Anne Heche involved with a man?

 Click  Here

 Of course, it's none of our business,
 but we are trying to understand the gay thing.

 From: boxwood@texas.net

 Subject: Why can't Johnny spell?

 Why does your repubilkan readers half so much troubles speling there tyrades?
 Dairy Aire?  ( The ass of a dairy Queen?).

 Don't every computer half a spel-checker?
 If you can't rite a desent sentence what does that say about yore thought prosesses?
 (Besides that you'd make a good candadate  for pesident)?

 ha ha

 Don't you be makin' fun of my pal Papax7.
 His train's on a different track than most :)

 ha ha

 Make them stop!

 Did anybody catch  Ron Reagan Jr.  on O'Reilly last night?

 This guy is a great debater - I never knew.
 After thinking about it, I guess he would be after his dad was president
 for eight years - surely he's done more than his share on interviews and
 on-camera time, but he put the big "F" on Bill O'Reilly.

 O'Reilly asked Junior why he was so down on Smirk, and he said Smirk
 was an unqualified idiot whose main "qualification" was to no longer be
 the most obnoxious drunk in the state of Texas.

 (He laid this trap really good, it was fun to watch.)

 O'Reilly shot back with, "Well, there were those who said many of the
 same things about your father."

 ha ha
 The trap was sprung!

 Junior said, "You want to compare Smirk to my father?
 Are you sure you  want to do that, Mr Smart-ass O'Reilly?"

 ha ha

 What could "O'Reilly do but agree...

 Junior said, "When my father ran in 1980, he had already been a REAL
 governor in a REAL state for eight years, and was quite good at it.
 He was the president of a union, he was successful at re-defining the
 Republican party, and he almost unseated a sitting president of his own
 party, and all that was before he ran in 1980, Smart-guy!"

 ha ha

 O'Reilly shrunk in his chair and weakly replied,
 "I'm not here to defend the Smirk campaign."

 ha ha

 I was channel surfing, and when I saw how good Junior was, I hit "record"
 on the VCR and only caught the tail-end of it, but if you see Ron Reagan Jr.
 on O'Reilly this weekend when they run their repeats, check him out.

 I had no idea he was this good.
 He had O'Reilly stammering.

 By the way, Mrs. BartCop asked me and I'm not sure.
 Ron Junior is adopted, right?
 He was the ballet dancer, right?
 Isn't it unusual to adopt a "Junior" and name the next son "Mike?"

 Monkey Mail

 From: Aspeac@aol.com

 Subject: war is in need

 What the U.S. needs is a good war to weed out liberal candy asses
 like the people who put this site togather.  If you really give a damn
 about this nation you would crawl back under your rock
 with the rest of your pointy head butt wipes

 Does anyone recognize the name Florinda Bolkan?

 I was sent some spicey pictures saying she was "JFK's last lover."

 Any clues?

 Warning: Adult Language Used

 I while back I got a new toy.
 Among other things, this new program tells me the top phrases
 put into search engines that brings new people to  bartcop.com

 It surprised me, I'll bet it will surprise you.
 Some of the weirest words and phrases were used to locate this page.

 Click  Here
 (No children please)

 Thanks to wezeldog for the techno wizardry.

 Laboring Before Labor Day

 Full  Story

 Why doesn't Bush have more to fall back on? I think we all know the answer.
 He and his team call it compassionate conservatism, which on closer inspection
 is nothing more than conservatism lite or a conservatism that dares not speak
 its name or conservatism repackaged in a kinder, gentler wrapping -- in short,
 a conservatism that caves under the first sign of pressure.

 Because winning has become infinitely more important than stubborn principle,
 the Reaganite right has readily gone along with young Bush,
 accepting more distancing from Reagan than it ever did under George Sr.

 ha ha

 In other words, "We're screwed, blue and tattooed."

 From: jhigdon168@aol.com

 Hey, BC:

 Let me in on this.  Without even seeing the video, I can tell you that I see
 the point of the good people at bushwatch. For any Democrat to even
 comment on this video would be a huge mistake. The whole world watched
 Gore state that he is a man of issues, and W. can't get beyond sound bites
 and platitudes in a prepared script.  Gore and the Democrats need to stick
 with that theme.  If Smirk wants to bring up the video and offer a defense,
 let him defend himself against nothing the Democrats have accused him of.

 True, but that video is funny.

 And if it proves Smirk a liar,
 a liar about IMPORTANT things, so be it.
 I showed that video to some Repubs where I work.

 Just like I'm sure Papax7 would say, they said,
 "He doesn't look like he's been drinking to me."

 But when I asked them if they'd let that GW Bush drive
 their kids or grandkids home in that shape, they said,
 "What you have there wouldn't be admissable in a court of law."


 I'm talking about the safety of your kids,
 not the legal standard for public drunkenness.

 I admit he's not falling-down drunk, but look at the way he handles himself.
 Look how he repeats whatever's being said off-camera.
 Then he says "only in America" four times.

 If I was a cop and stopped him two blocks from his house, I might let him
 drive the last two blocks, but I wouldn't want to be in the car with him.

 He'd probably knock over the neighbor's trash cans and try to fist his dad.

 Great Smirk Quotes

 "If I'm fortunate enough to become the president of the United States,
 the folks in Louisiana will have somebody who won't have to look on a map
 to figure out where you are." -- Bush in Louisiana, 8/25/00

"I do need somebody to tell me where Kosovo is. I know how to ask."
  -- Bush, Manchester Guardian Weekly, 8/25/99

 JoeL and God

 From: illison_99@yahoo.com

 Hey Bartcop, what's up with Joe's Torah-thumping?
 I thought the REPUBLICANS were the ones who wanted
 to run our lives according to Bronze Age texts.

One more reason to vote for Nader.


 JoeL needs to calm down.
 Overall, nobody knows if JoeL helped Gore - or the kiss - ot the convention
 or what, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with JoeL as president,
 which is his function - to be ready.

 I'd hate to think we were suddenly plunged into a war and our new president
 was busy praying and couldn't be reached.

 This Just In...

 Lieberman Told To Limit Expressions

 WASHINGTON (AP) - The Anti-Defamation League has urged Democratic vice
 presidential nominee Joseph Lieberman to avoid expressions of religious
 values and beliefs in his campaign.

 "Candidates should feel comfortable explaining their religious convictions to voters,"
 the league said in a statement. "At the same time, however, we believe there is a point
 at which an emphasis on religion in a political campaign becomes inappropriate and even
 unsettling in a religiously diverse society such as ours."

 The statement was signed by Howard P. Berkowitz, chairman, and its director, Abe Foxman.
 The league's focus is fighting anti-Semitism.

 From:   radiofreenorthpole@hotmail.com

 Subject: Let's Debate

 ok, i'll debate you.topic: is nazism more closely related to liberalism or conservatism?


 I smell a trap, but I don't do traps.
 It's my guess you've stumbled onto some strict definition and are trying to make
 a parallel that doesn't exist, so let me cut you off.

 I think everyone thinks "minority persecution" when they think of Nazism.
 There is a reason why your party has one gay and one black.
 It's because minorities think the GOP persecutes them, and I agree.

 The GOP is built on lets-stop-the-perverted-gays,
 lets-shut-off-money-to-"welfare-queens," and

 You can't deny the KKK votes GOP every election.
 You can't deny Tim McVeigh and the all-white CCC are Republicans.
 You can't deny your party has been slow to reject racism.
 You can't deny your party is anti-education.

 Please don't tell me that the word "socialist" was in Hitler's title.
 Names can mean anything, consider Smirk's "compassion" when he dumps
 medicare care for 250,000 poor children in Texas.

 And please, please, please don't go back 140 years and tell us what the GOP did
 for blacks before electricity was invented. Your question wasn't about Lincoln's term,
 it's about the hear-and-now, so let's talk about that.

 This isn't even a contest.
 I'm surprised you'd want this subject raised.

 As long as that Kolbe guy and Uncle OJ Watts are alone in your party,
 your side is stuck with the "persecuting minorities" tag.

 That makes the GOP closer to Hitler's ideals.

 Smirk Drunk Wedding Video Feedback

 From: vance_everson@yahoo.com

 Subject: Where's the beef?

 It's a good start, but not good enough to bring him down
 ...not everyone is a bartender, and won't be able to see the signs.

 I doubt this, by itself, will bring Smirk down, but it proves he's been lying
 about controlling his alcohol demons. Lying about sex is one thing,
 lying about your ability to control your drug demons is quite another.
 You can be president and get a blow job, as Clinton has proved.
 But if you're drunk, the planet is in danger.

 Plausible deniability?
 bushwatch has an interesting take on it as well.


 I have nothing but respect for my good friend Jerry at Bushwatch.com,
 but his take is a little confusing. He starts with "A sucker born every minute."
 What does that mean?

 It's not Smirk?
 Smirk's not drunk?

 The only way this tape isn't real is if Smirk's in on the gag, and why would
 he act the fool when he wants to be taken seriously?
 I think Bushwatch's point is it might actually help Smirk to get off the issues,
 but who's going to sympathize with the lying drunk?

 It would be fun to hear from the bartender at the reception, however.
 but, somehow, i find that unlikely.

 We don't need a witness, because WE are the witness.
 There may be a Part II to this tape.
 Think how drunk Smirk might've been two hours later.

 Remember, Al Hunt says Smirk called him a "mother-effer" in from
 of his 4-year old at a restaurant in dallas. That's an out-of-control drunk.

 i see you also consider the possibility of John McCain jumping in to
 head the ticket once they realize that it's unwinnable;
 but shouldn't they have already realized that?
 is the script already written, and being played out?


 The idiot GOP should've done the right thing when they found out
 they had a real loser on their hands, but I guess once you've dumped
 $100,00,000 into a campaign you don't turn back.

 One other thing:

 On the tape, Smirk drunkenly slurs, "This is an election year."
 I realize that's every two years, but what evidence is there about the date?
 Drudge said "early nineties," I believe.
 Is this 1990 or 1992?

 More Drunk Video Feedback

 From:  tonycliftonn@yahoo.com

 Subject: Trash

 "No respectable media outlet will have anything to do
  with this trash," predicted a top campaign source.

 TRASH? What does he mean "trash?" The movie is trash?
 Dubya is trash? What exactly was he referring to in this quote?
 (---Perhaps the LIBERAL MEDIA took him out of context. Perhaps he was
 being interviewed from his back yard while picking up doggie doo doo,
 and was  pointing to some dog excretement when he made that statement.---)

 I don't know about you, but I'll not vote for someone who makes "trashy" movies.
 I have morals.

 I'll not vote for someone who is referred to by his own staff as "trash."
 I have common sense.

 "No respectable media outlet will have anything to do with this trash," predicted a top
 campaign source.  Unfortunately for Dubya, there *is* no "respectable" media outlet.
 Except maybe in Canada. Which won't do him much good.

 It's possible the media won't play this - it's hard to tell.
 They gave Newt a complete pass when he bought shit for his girlfriend
 using his credit card, but Newt was on his way out - Smirk wants in.

 If I understand correctly, this broke about 8PM last night.
 By 8:30. my mailbox was full of different sources for this tape that
 all led back to smokinggun.com

 It might be the fastest-spreading story since the Dr Laura naked pics
 from way back in October of 1998.  The media can pretend nobody
 is talking about this, but I'll bet smokinggun.com has more hits today
 that any day they've been online.

 Tiger Woo   Runs Out of Magic
         (Hose Alert! Hose Alert!)

 Fighting fatigue and the flu, Tiger Woo   ran out of magic Monday night
 in the "Battle of Bighorn," losing to Sergio (who?) Garcia by a stroke.

 Garcia birdied four of the last five holes, including two long birdie putts
 just like Mr. Perfect usually does to everyone he plays, day after day.

 ha ha

 I sure am glad Woo  had an excuse ready for his fans.

 Why, if he hadn't been sick and tired,
 if he'd just been sick, or
 if he'd just been tired,
 he would've whipped that uppitty Spaniard boy.

 But since he was sick and tired, he has an excuse.

 I smell a skunk.
 A big, fat stinking skunk.

 Was this a Don King promotion?
 If Woo  had done his usual ahead-by-16,
 people would've tuned out to watch something else.
 But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 Tiger builds the suspense to an Earth-shattering conclusion!
 This way, Garcia and Woo   have to play again.
 And when Tiger Woo  wins, then they'll have to play the tie-breaker.

 Funny, when Tiger's playing at the U.S. Open or the Master's,
 he's double digits ahead of the best golfers in the entire world.

 But along comes a prime-time showcase for Mr Wonderful and what happens?
 The unknown kid from Spain takes Tiger Woo  around the block.

 ha ha

 Can you say, "fix?"

 It would be a real good idea to Click  Here

 It's a bunch of Smirk National Guard records.
 Is this as legit as it looks?

 That killer audio of Rush having a stroke is from http://rush.digitalchainsaw.com/

 Check it out again.
 It's worth the download time.

 Click  Here

 For over a year, my links section has said this:

 The Excellence in Babbling page
 Is this the best site on the Internet or what?
 This is what my Audio Files would sound like if I had talent.
 Major source of true comedy.
 Pigboy in his own words.
 Hat's off to the Excellence in Babbling boys.

 A shot of Chinaco to Bill Stanley for his hard work and killer website!.

 The Smirk "Wedding video" is here.

  Click  Here

 How drunk is he?
 Again, former professional bartender here.

 Check out how he says, "fine taxpayers."
 Check out how many time he repeats, "only in America," again and again.
 Listen closely to his fourth "only in ..."Merica."

 And at the very end, killing the drink...
 You don't kill a Coke or Pepsi that way.
 That's a drunk man wanting every drop of that drink because
 it would be a shame to let "good liquor" go to waste.

 The question isn't, "How drunk was he?"
 The question is, "Was he drinking in 1990?"

 He's said he hasn't had a drink since 1985.
 So he lied about being sober for 15 years.

 Is he still drinking today?
 Does that explain his inability to deliver a coherent sentence?

 If he's lying about the liquor,
 how do we know he's off the cocaine?

 I figure there will be 8-12 "speed bumps" like this.

 Which one will make Smirk bow out?

 ...and at what point do they ask McCain to get back in?

 Do you realize that since George W Bush has been in
 the national spotlight, nobody has seen Pauly Shore?

 Some nut named Tom Squitieri was on Hardballs with Chris the Screamer.
 (He claimed he was from USA Today, but that name isn't familiar...)

 He said it was unfair that Liebermen was talking about God in every speech,
 (I don't like it either.)
 He said when Pat Robertson tried that in 1988, he got beat up by the press.

 But wait a minute.
 Robertson is a racist moron and a ticking time bomb.
 In 1988, he said Jews shouldn't be allowed to hold elective office in America.
 That makes him a racist crazy, so he & Lieberman are hardly twins.
 He also said his secret sources told him Cuba had nuclear missles - in 1988.
 The Pentagon immediately assured everyone Roberston was crazy
 and that blew whatever credibility he once had out the window

 No, Tom, it's not the same.

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