Volume 277 - A Pig in a Poke

 September 25, 2000

 Hi, remember me?

 Jesus, I feel like I've been gone longer than Republican pride.
 Monday was like a nightmare from hell.

 I was late getting to work, that's bad,
 but the boss was held up in Kansas City and wouldn't be in, so that's good.
 I thought I might get some writing done - I'm so far behind.

 Then the boss called and said he was so impressed with my enthusiasm
 at suing that dude Friday, that he thought of some other people he could sue,
 so I spent half the day at the K-Drag County Courthouse filing affadavits.

 On top of that, my computer was acting up.
 Note to self:
 I still have heat on my work hard-drive that I need to protect.

 Then I noticed I hadn't gotten any mail in the last hour, that's bad.
 That meant a major SNAFU was cooking somewhere.
 Marc Perkel, the man who knows everything, rerouted my mindspring mail thru
 his  ctyme.com  and the mail started coming like Danny when Marilyn calls.

 Perkel fixed everything, so now I'm back in bidness.
 I think tomorrow will be 'toon heavy.

 So let's get into it...

 Remember yesterday I was bitching about how sterile the Sunday shows were?
 Today, I watched by Fox Whore Sunday tape and I liked what I say.
 Topic after topic on Fox Ho Sunday was pregnant.

 Cheney was the first guest and he was ready to rock.
 First, Fox played him on with "Big Time," a song I've never heard before,
 but it's a reference to when Smirk called Clymer "that major league asshole,"
 and Cheney the ass-kisser said, "Youza, Boss. He surely do! BIG time."

 I guess Fox was high-fiving Cheney for what assholes the New York Whore Times
 reporters are and, ...hey!  Could I get five on that, too?

 Then Brit Hume gets all over Cheney:

 Hume: In 1990, when Saddam took Kuwait and threatened the Saudi fields
             They begged us to save them, and we did.
             Why didn't you demand then, that after we give them their country back,
             they sell us oil cheap until the end of time?

 Dick: Didn't think of it.

 Hume: You mean it was worth risking 500,000 lives, but it didn't cross your mind
              to secure this goldmine after you retreived it for them?

 Dick: It never crossed my mind.

 Hume: So why should we trust you to handle the current crisis any better than
             you and President Bush handled the last crisis?

 Dick: ...Uhm, ...This is Fox, right?

 ha ha

 Remember how tough they were on the GOP at their convention?
 I think Fox wants Gore to win this, just like Pigboy does.

 With Smirk's recent upsurge, mostly because Gore is yammering on about shit
 that never happened, (Al, you nuts?) without the talent or the charms of the Master.
 I think Fox is going to hammer Smirk in the final stages.

 Back to Cheney, they talked about our "lack of energy policy."
 Remember how this works, and I can prove it:

 Saudi Arabia oil is the best in the world.
 It's cleaner, it's more pure, and it's pre-filtered,
 just like a fine luxury tequila such as Chinaco Anejo.

 In America, we have oil, too.
 Compared to Saudi oil, American oil is dirty, less pure and expensive,
 Think of the American oil like Sammy's Wabo Cabo tequila.

 Now, the Chinaco Anejo that we get from the Saudis costs $30 a bottle.
 The Wabo Cabo in America's own cubbard cost $40 a bottle.

 ...and the GOP says we have, "No tequila policy."

 America, open your eyes, look at the situation:

 Our two choices are $30 Chinaco Anejo or $40 Wabo Cabo.
 The Republicans are accusing Clinton of allowing America to buy the $30 Chinaco
 instead of the $40 Wabo Cabo.

 But, GOP!

 If their cleaner, better product is cheaper than our dirty, expensive product,
 wouldn't that mean "pure and cheap" beats "dirty and expensive?"

 If Clinton moved us away from the $30 Chinaco towards the $40 Wabo Cabo
 he would not get my vote.


 Oil Prices Tumble As U.S. Taps Reserves
 By Jonathan Leff

 LONDON (Reuters) - Oil prices fell on Monday after the United States decided
 to tap national strategic reserves in a bid to avert a winter fuel crisis.

 London Brent futures slumped below $30 for the first time since August but by
 1745 GMT had bounced back to $30.46 a barrel, a 79 cent loss. That came on top
 of a $1.48 decline on Friday in anticipation of the release which will add a million
 barrels a day to U.S. supplies for a month.

 U.S. light crude was $1 lower at $31.68 a barrel.

 Energy Secretary Bill Richardson late on Friday announced the release of 30 million
 barrels of crude from the 571 million-barrel Strategic Petroleum Reserve -- the first
 use of the SPR since Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990.

 Dealers said the size of the release came as a surprise
 and the price decline could accelerate in coming weeks.

 ...and the GOP said the Clinton/Gore action wouldn't make a difference.

 Jesse Owens,  Joe Louis, Cathy Freeman

 Cathy Freeman explained the meaning of the word "superiority," tonight,
 which is another setback for Cro-Mags like the whites-only Republican Party.

 And she didn't just win,


 We liberals and Democrats are with you, Cathy.
 Hitler and the GOP say whites are superior,
 even when they're looking at the goddamn proof in front of their own eyes.

 ...and you proved 'em wrong.

 ha ha

 Fuck bigotry.

 A shot of Chinaco for Cathy Freeman.

 Did Lightning Strike Twice?
    by some Texas person

 With all the talk about the mysterious mailing to the Al Gore campaign of a video
 showing Texas Gov. George W. Bush rehearsing for their upcoming debates,
 Democrats in Texas are recalling another bizarre episode from the 1980s.

 It came in the heat of the 1986 gubernatorial campaign and both Karl Rove,
 now Bush's chief political strategist, and Mark McKinnon, now his media consultant,
 played prominent roles, on opposite sides of the fence.

 Hours before a scheduled debate, Rove, who was working for former Gov. Bill Clements,
 the Republican candidate, announced discovery of a tiny listening device in his Austin office.
 It was hidden near Rove's desk in a needlepoint wall hanging depicting a Republican elephant.

 Clements aides said they had ordered a sweep of the premises because of unauthorized leaks.
 Rove stopped short of direct accusations but said "our political opposition would benefit"
 from hearing his phone calls.

 McKinnon, then chief spokesman for incumbent Gov. Mark White (D), responded hotly,
 even suggesting that Clements staffers had planted the bug themselves as a diversionary tactic
 to draw attention away from the debate. "This thing stinks," McKinnon said at the time.
 "I think they were very nervous about the debate."

 The FBI launched an investigation but it sputtered to a halt a few weeks later when the head
 of the security firm that found the bug declined to take a polygraph test.

 In the current controversy, some Republicans have voiced suspicions that the video
 mailed to the Gore camp along with related briefing papers had been obtained from offices
 of McKinnon, who is viewed as having worked for too many Democrats.

 Texas Democratic chairwoman Molly Beth Malcolm took a different view.
 "This is history repeating itself," she said yesterday.

 "It has Karl Rove's fingerprints all over it."

 From:  leocarr@mediaone.net

 Subject: Christine Amanpour

 The producer of THE FACTOR just stated that Christine Amanpour, married to a
 Clinton appointee, got up at a major Broadcasters trade show, and delivered
 a stemwinder of a speech in which she decried the horrid state of American
 broadcast news. She stirringly spoke of the reasons that American networks
 are losing market share: A lack of focus on international news, and a
 complete breakdown of TV investigatory skills.

 She concluded with the observation that (paraphrased) she was shocked and
 dismayed, and: "How did [broadcasters] let a man of George W. Bush's qualifications
 get as far as he has?" Cheers erupted through the crowd of impartial "journalists".

 Today's Page Two Girl

 Click  Here

 So I'm watching that insufferable Michael Barone on McLaughlin Whores.
 Here's what that self-important bastard said:

 "Remember, Bill Clinton is the type of president to bomb a country
  as a distraction while Congress was voting to impeach him."

 Wrong! you lying shit.  The truth is, the ditto-monkey congress was so
 goddamned obsessed with grabbing Clinton's cock, they voted to impeach
 our Commander-in-Chief while we had men and women embroiled in a
 serious military campaign on the battlefield.  Every member of congress who
 voted to impeach our president while he was engaging the enemy should lose
 their seat in the upcoming elections. If this wasn't such a family-friendly webpage,
 I'd be tempted to give a fast fuck you to every ditto-head in this congress.

 Michael Barone, who ever's paying your lying ass is getting their money's worth.

 Also, and this was the funniest part of the whole show, Tony Blankly was
 criticising that idiot Smirk for fucking up the campaign and John asked Tony
 to say something nice about Smirk. You know what he said?

 "He's better than Dole."

 ha ha

 Great Children's Quotes

 "I saw you on TV the other night...
  Why were you fighting with Mrs. Clinton?"
     --a New York second grade girl to Little Ricky Lazio

 Speaking of lying sons-of-bitches, did you see Fox Whore News last week?
 I forget which night it was, but they decided to tackle the space-invading
 issue when Lazio all but assaulted Hillary Clinton.

 The cheating scumbags showed a picture of Lazio at least eight feet from Hillary
 while kicking aroung the question, "Did he get too close?"

 Isn't that just like those lying scumbags?
 Here's the picture an honest network would've shown:

 That no-balls little twerp getting in Hillary's face.
 I guess we shouldn't expect anything else from the whores at Fox News,
 but just imagine a hard-working ditto-monkey who can't keep up with
 the news like you and I can. He hears all this fuss about Lazio getting into
 Hillary's face and then he watches Fox Whgore news for the "truth,"
 and sees Lazio no closer than four feet from Hillary and says to himself,
 "Why do the Democrats lie so much?

 ...and you know what else?

 I watched almost all of the Sunday news shows.
 I missed the last two or three weeks in a row, and thought if I'm going to
 offer any kind of political analysis I should make the effort to watch those
 pitiful excuses for news shows and report on what was said.
 First I watched the King of All Cock-Grabbers, Tim the whore.
 I didn't learn a goddamn thing.

 Then I watched This Whore with Sam and Cockie.
 Again, I didn't learn a goddamn thing.

 So I watched Face the Whore, with Bob Scheiffer.
 Not only did I not learn a goddamn thing, but just before signing off
 Bob took a real shitty, unnecessary swipe at NBC for their Olympic coverage.

 Why should a CBS show attack NBC for their Olympic coverage?
 If CBS thought they could do a better job, why didn't CBS bid more for them
 and show America how a REAL network can do the job better?
 Sometimes I think Schieffer is less whore than some, and then he goes
 and attacks NBC for their admittedly poor coverage.

 So I'm wondering why I even watch those Sunday shows anymore.
 If they don't have Carville or Smirk - what's the point?

 Another Victory for Democrats

              Aryan Nations Property Given Up
                  By John K. Wiley      Associated Press Writer

                  COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho In a blow to hate groups that have made
                  the Northwest their clubhouse, the founder of the Aryan Nations has
                  agreed to give up his Idaho compound to satisfy a $6.3 million verdict
                  against the white supremacist organization.

                  Richard Butler wanted to avoid the spectacle of sheriff's vans showing up
                  to seize the 20-acre property, lawyers said Friday. He has agreed to hand
                  over the property no later than Oct. 25.

                  Under the agreement reached Thursday, Butler must give up the property
                  and all its contents Nazi and Confederate flags, Third Reich posters, a
                  silver bust of Adolf Hitler, stained glass swastikas and contents of a print shop.
                  Butler, 82, will leave with only his clothing and personal effects.

                  Richard Cohen, a lawyer with the Southern Poverty Law Center in
                  Montgomery, Ala., said Butler is not precluded from continuing his
                  church, the Church of Jesus Christ Christian-Aryan Nations,
                  which operates on the property.

                  Butler will deed the property near Hayden Lake to Victoria and Jason
                  Keenan, who won the jury award earlier this month after they were
                  attacked outside the sect's compound in 1998.

                  "The Keenans will be able to do with the property what they want,"
                  Cohen said Friday.

                  Butler moved to northern Idaho from California in 1973 to found his sect,
                  which called for a whites-only homeland in the Northwest. He began
                  holding an annual event called the Aryan Nations Congress in 1981,
                  attracting racist and anti-government groups from across the country.

                  It was not known where Butler will live; no one answered the telephone
                  Friday at the Aryan Nations. He could move his church elsewhere or he
                  could concentrate his activities on the Internet, where Aryan Nations
                  already has a home page.

                  "I don't know Pastor Butler's plans, but he intends to stay in Idaho and
                   continue to be pastor of the Church of Jesus Christ-Christian," Steele said.


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