Celebrity Cop-Wanking Mail
Swear to Koresh, this is 100 % real
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Matthew J. Glavin
What are you president of?
Cop Wankers of America?
Yeah, I'll bet your traffic always gets a spike when you
get caught hand-raping a goddamn undercover cop, Matt.
Why was your hand pumping that officer's sexual organ?
Did you "misplace" your hand, Matt?
Were you reaching for some popcorn and accidentally wanked some cop?
Did you mistakenly think you and he were married, Matt?
Do they allow that kind of thing in Georgia?
What were you hoping to achieve by doing that?
Besides a sticky hand, I mean?
Were you doing "research" on sexual deviants?
What would Laura the Unloved say?
More important, does Bob Barr need to be tested?
And if you have one of those in your pants, what did you need his for?
Where did you tell your wife you were going, Matt?
How did your children take the news?
"You better sit down, kids.. I'll tell
Your mother and I, kids, don't see eye-to-eye."
(That's a 35 year-old Sonny & Cher song)
I've never gotten mail from a real pervert before.
And why are you still sending people mail, Matt?
The SLA, or whatever they're called, said you resigned.
Was that yet another lie?
So don't send me anymore mail, Matt.
By the way, that "contribution" I sent to you?
I was just, uh, ...jacking you around!
Hey, Matt, before I "let you go," I have some advice for you:
If hand-raping-a-cop comes knockin' at your door,
Don't answer it!
Written any good commentary on how best to patronize prostitutes recently, BARTCOP?
For it to be non-fiction, I would first have to patronize a prostitute.
Perhaps you're thinking of Marc Perkel's excellent commentary, which I've read.
Marc's a good writer, and makes a lot of sense.
Clinton and his minions must be so overjoyed
to be off the hook in the
Whitewater investigation. I'm sure you'll post a column by that boot-licker
Joe Conason crowing about how "innocent" Bill is, just like O.J. Simpson.
Wait, you mean everyone who is cleared of all charges is "just
That seems fair..
Of course, Reagan and Butch used a pardon to prevent their trials,
so they escaped having to stand before a court, just like Hitler.
Were you pissed that normally liberal-friendly
papers like the New York Times
and the Washington Post wrote editorials berating the Clintons for obfuscating
and stone-walling and genarally looking like they had something to hide?
The New York Whore Times invented Whitewater and invented Wen Ho Lee.
They are shameless whores trying to sell papers, so they take an anti-Clinton slant.
However, I can guarantee the Clinton's are innocent of "genarally" everything.
Speaking of stone-walling, What do you make
of Joe Lockhart's inability to
produce a simple list of names and dates of the people who have stayed at the
White House during Hill and Algore's fundraising efforts?
I guess you hadn't heard. That list was produced a week or two
I'll bet he took the time to get it right, because Koresh forbid somebody's
name get left off that contributed $500. That would certainly be seen as
"more proof" that the Clintons are guilty of "the Lincoln Bedroom."
Do you think they keep it in the same place as the Rose Law Firm billing records?
Hmmmmm, you've stumped me there, and that doesn't happen very often.
Pigboy steals another BartCop rant
"Why I do doesn't take courage, there's
Cops take a risk, underground pipe-fitters take a risk, not me."
Pigboy, if you're going to steal, you should at least credit the source.
Poor Rush and the Republicans
I think Cheney won the debate last night, if only because
we were all asleep and Cheney got in those two good zingers.
But the Republicans are so used to losing,
it's become second-nature to them, so they're agreeing
with "the media" that JoeL really won the debate.
Isn't it sad?
Whoa, Nellie - It's college football!
Michigan vs. Michigan State
UCLA vs Southern Cal
Florida vs Florida State
Ohio State vs Penn State
Notre Dame vs. Southern Cal
Auburn and Massabama
Nebraska vs. the Blind Amputees
Sure, there's lots of hot rivalries in college football,
but there's only one Oklahoma - Texas
When these two teams get together, it doesn't matter if one of
is ranked #1 and the other is 0-5, it's always a bloody war.
Broken bones, dislocated shoulders, hyper-extended knees, Troy Achemans,
(they use to call them concussions) a couple of groin pulls and hourly ambulance runs.
I've always watched it on TV, because the game is always in "neutral"
but years ago, they used to block off several streets in Dallas for the hueueueuege drunkfest.
Then you have 50,000 drunks at the game, and tons of bad blood.
By the way, got time for a quick story?
I forget the year, it was probably 1975.
I played drums in a band that was playing a gig in Harrison, Arkansas, national HQ
for the KKK, by the way. The entire band and all our friends were staying in the
same chalet, and we were busy breaking many laws concerning controlled substances.
Of course, that's all in the past, ninety percent of it, anyway.
This one fellow's name is Jay Gillespie.
We were gamblin' buddies, and he always owed me money.
His dad was a doctor and I was an orphan living on $186 a month in Social Security,
government-teat funds, so we gambled almost everyday on almost anything.
Foosball, sports, the weather, politics - everything, especially 9-ball at Roger's Rec.
I'd been beating Jay like a drum and he owed me a lot of money,
(a lot being
$50 or so, this was back when you could buy a small pizza for $1.50) and we were
gambling on whatever college football game was on the TV at the chalet.
(They had a ski resort in Harrison back then, thus the chalet)
I don't remember all the details, and maybe some alumni could
but that night at the chalet it was Notre Dame vs Southern Cal on the TV.
The way I remember it, I had Southern Cal, and poor Jay was losing
At half-time the score was something like 27-3 or maybe even worse.
I was felling my liquor and feeling sorry for Jay, so after he conceeded
the football game to me at half-time, I offered to go double-or-nothing on
his balance and I would switch and take Notre Dame for the rest of the game.
Of course, the intent was to break even and keep him as a friend,
but I'll be
damned if Notre Dame didn't score about 30 unanswered points in the
second half for what surely was the Miracle Comeback on the Decade.
Poor Ol' Jay couldn't believe my lucky streak.
He always thought I'd made a deal with the devil.
(I had - ha ha)
A shot of Chinaco to whoever can find that great
football story on the web.
I might have some facts wrong, but it had to be 1974 or 1975, I think,
and it was Southern Cal vs the Catholics, and God was at the tailgate party.
Subject: Quick Take On What I Consider The Master Debate
I loved it when Bernard Shaw caught Big
Time within the trap why he decided to
not drill in Wyoming yet drill in Alaska instead with a focus upon the environment.
Big Time, showing his pro-choice (for an anti-choice right-winger) colors,
said it was a matter of choice and not any kind of politics to be considered
"not in my backyard."
I don't think I want either one as Vice
President but that's the best our system produces.
Maybe I should write myself in as VP for who I decide to vote for. Anyhow, I'm going to
watch the replay with a twist: Watching debate while studying the effects of Absolut Citron
vodka upon the senses and the resulting euphoria afterwards.
A Junior Republican winds up to take a shot at Hillary
Wish you'd let me know you talk about the
debates in a chat room rather
than on the WWW site - I hit you 4-5 times daily, it is my belief that you
never mentioned this until tonight, in my recollection.
I take responsibility for that screw-up.
(I couldn't think of anyone else to blame.)
We've always done it on "The Latest," but last night at the last minute
I thought I'd try the new forum to have more social intercourse.
The new forum kept saying,
"Too much traffic, please limit postings to one every two minutes."
So I checked into the old guestbook, and I thought I had had a
until I realized the last poster was on EDT, and had been gone for an hour.
So it turns out I was debating myself - but I was winning!
For Smirk's last Stand,
we're expecting the biggest party ever.
Well, that is until election night, I guess.
Next Wednesday, we'll be on "The Latest," with check-ins to both forums.
Maybe I'm less sophisticated than you - don't mock me, please.
There, I must correct you.
Nobody is less sophisticated than me.
I'm not a newbie, I had my first Mac in
1987. And I'm 100% on your side
(except that I believe the Stones are the #1 R&R band of all time).
Hey, at least the Stones are a real band.
If you'd said, "N Stink" or "Backstreet Boys," we'd have to tangle.
I agree, Wednesday's "West Wing"
was the best two hours of TV ever.
By the way, the line was, "14 people know this, now you're #15".
I know, I tend to exaggerate.
I'm a liberal.
Cheney/Lieberman was boring, all policy
talk, very nicey nice and convivial, neither gained nor lost.
A true tie - Cheney seems commanding, Lieberman seems nice.
True, but next Wednesday is Smirk's
I don't think it'll be boring.
Thanks for the note.
Subject: Southeastern Legal Foundation
I took your advice and sent a $1,000,000
"donation" to the good offices of the
Southeastern Legal Foundation with the following comment:
"Yeah, please send that pervert who runs
your organization my way.
He is soooo cute, and I just love those guys who pretend to be so macho
but then try to wank off police officers on the side. What a STUD!!!
And to think he wants to disbar Clinton!
I would think that he wants to DISROBE Clinton!
I sure do understand why he's been grabbing after Clinton's COCK for the last 10 years!!!"
A shot of Chinaco to right-wing perverts everywhere!
As of yesterday, they still have The Perv on their website.
Maybe Glavin was their only "techie."
This Just In...
Slobo seen in Austin!
May join ticket when Cheney has "heart attack."
Great GOP Quotes
"Did a hell of a job, didn't he?
I'd say he won - big time."
--Magic Dick Cheney
I just found your web page and I think it
is great. I am a political junky and
I try to get all the good conspiracy theories I can. Do you have any good
conspiracy theories on Clinton. I have been actively involved in politics for
about six years and one thing I know is that not all Republicans are dirty and
not all Democrats are dirty but, all successful politicians are filthy.
Give us some good stuff on some filthy Democrats.
As a rule, the Democrats are into sex scandals and helping minorities.
The GOP wants to rape the Consitution and put minorities in ovens.
Of course, there are minor variations, but that's basically the deal.
Blast from the Past
One year ago today
What's the most-often heard comment about last night's debate?
"We like it when they play nice.
We hate it when they attack each other."
There's a lot of crap going around that
JoeL and Cheney should be at
the top of each ticket, and, just to be extra-stupid, some are saying the
ticket should be Cheney-JoeL. Hey, if those two had any political skills
they could be at the top of the ticket but they don't, so forget about it.
But as far as playing nice, sure, they were
nice last night.
Nice and sleep-inducing.
So everyone likes it when they play nice?
What did we see last Tuesday?
Everytime that idiot Smirk attacked Gore,
Gore replied with,
"I think we should attack America's problems instead of each other."
That means Smirk is the only prick out of
the four people running.
He's an idiot that nobody likes.
And his ONLY chance to get some traction in this race is to do
what everyone says they'll hate him for doing - and that's attack.
Hey, why am I laughing?
I'm the one losing the shiny red sports car..
This means four boring years of Algore running
I think we'll see those clowns on the Supreme Court trying to stay alive
for another four years because the GOP is SURE to win in 2004, right?
You KNOW they're going to run Jeb Bush, then, and he'll lose.
But what the hell, I guess I can live with a Gore presidency.
Did I run afoul of some rules wrt msgs?
Had a number deleted after working on them today - not all.
Wonder if I violated some rule that I can avoid.
Hate to waste time posting if they are going to get blow off before the day is out ...
D. C. Conliffe
DC, If you're asking me, I don't have a
Brainsmasher told me a few days ago that people were upset that some messages
were no longer there, wherever "there" is. That's why we went with the new forum,
to try to stop whatever deletions are occuring.
I don't have the tech knowledge to do that,
and I can't imagine what posting I would erase.
Also, I tried to reply to your e-mail but your address is no good.
Enjoy some of your website.
Can do without the t.v. crap.
I only watch Sci-fi nowadays.
How about you guys calling a spade a spade.
If you are a lawyer then you should have access to the UCMJ
(uniform code of military justice.) If I remember rightly, going AWOL
only lasts for a certain number of days, then it turns into ---- D E S E R T I O N
Am I right or wrong.
If I'm right, why in the hell isn't the so called "liberal media"
all over the Republicans for running a god-damn Military DESERTER
for the office of Commander-in-Chief of all the Military??
I'm think that I am right that the Bush
boy is a "Deserter" and is not merely awol.
Give em hell!!!
If Smirk had a chance in hell to win, the media would be on him like
Rush on a single black welfare widow with lupus and three kids.
I think Gore is ahead by about 60/40.
If the media reported that, there'd be no reason to pay attention,
and they'd lose a few dollars and their "stars" wouldn't shine,
so they're pretending this is some "close race," to fabricate some excitement.
If they printed half of what they know about Smirk, it'd be 75/25.
He's not getting away with anything, he's
He's Captain Duncil, since you're a sci-fi fan..
January 21, 2001
Hang in there, Bill.
BartCop, thought you'd like this:
One interesting change in the latest survey
was a sudden jump in support for
Democrats when voters were asked which party they would support in
elections for the House of Representatives. The Democratic advantage has
grown from three points earlier this week to eight points now.
PS. Love the web site.
I loved the show too. Remember the
part where C. J. says in the press
conference that the best-trained marksmen in the world were on the scene of
the shooting to return fire, and still three people got hit before the shooters got killed?
And that this showed the absurdity of letting
everybody carry a gun in public?
If Rush saw that, he must be fuming. Ha ha!
Mr Ed, do you feel safe on Paul Harvey's farm?
"Please help me."
WASHINGTON (AP) - Federal rules that require
broadcasters to give candidates
a chance to respond to personal attacks and political endorsements were suspended
Wednesday for the duration of the 2000 campaign.
Over the vehement objection of its Republican
members, the FCC put the rules on hold,
saying that the election season offered "an ideal time to determine how broadcasters are
affected by the political editorial rule." The regulation requires TV and radio stations that
endorse a political candidate to notify and give free rebuttal time to the candidate's opponent.
The other suspended rule requires broadcasters
to provide politicians or other private citizens
with air time to respond when they have been attacked during a program.
Yesterday (Thursday) we had the most hits
ever at bartcop.com
Over 460 people clicked on - must've been that exciting debate last night.
The next Gore-Smirk debate is seen as Smirk's
If you only check in once a week, check in next Wednesday.
(Damn, that means we won't get a West Wing.)
You know what else this means?
Smirk is losing by such a wide margin, there's no need to release that damning
evidence against him. The DWI's, the coke bust, the secret habenero and the rest.
If Smirk had been more competent, this would've been a lot more fun.
Smirk has one last chance to pull this out.
Oh, sure, there's two more debates,
but each day the election gets closer the cement gets a little harder for Smirk.
So, see you Wednesday for live coverage of Smirk's Last Stand.
Wait, I should disclose I got the above
These idiots are saying Bernard Kalb
the moderator last night.
Bernard Kalb, swear to Koresh, is a bigger moron than Bernard Shaw,
but at least Kalb never wet his pants hiding under a table in Baghdad.
So be sure and check in next Wednesday for Smirk's Last Stand.
On this date in History...
- In 1949: American-born Iva Toguri D'Aquino,
convicted as Japanese
wartime broadcaster Tokyo Rose, was sentenced to 10 years in prison
and fined $10,000;
So, ...when will Toyko Rush be put on trial?
- In 1973: War erupted in the Middle
East as Egypt and Syria attacked
Israel during the Yom Kippur holiday.
The Arabs sometimes act like Republicans.
They want to continue the fight, after being bloodied again and again.
- In 1981: Egyptian President Anwar Sadat
was shot to death by
extremists while reviewing a military parade.
Another Republican parallel.
- In 1998: The ditto-monkey US congress, thirsty
for Clinton's cock,
voted to launch an open-ended impeachment inquiry, hoping to find
something - anything on which to justify their planned impeachment.
...and the American press whores were wet
with anticipation at the idea
of covering the wild Cock Hunt instead doing their job with real news..
Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock,
Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock,
Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock,
Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock,
DEBATE LOG BY THE NUMBERS
debate, Gore interrupted, went over his time limits, asked for more time,
even petitioned Jim Lehrer, the moderator, for more chances to respond. He was, in short,
the over-eager beaver, trying to monopolize the evening, doing most of the talking.
It just seemed that way at times because
of his relentless recitation of facts and figures.
In fact, however, a look at the debate transcript shows Smirk talked more.
He managed to get out 7,900 words in the 90 minutes, give or take a mouthful.
Mr. Gore got out only 7,400.
The ABC News political unit put a stopwatch on the debaters:
Gore talked for 43 minutes and 15 seconds;
Mr. Bush talked for 42 minutes and 30 seconds.
Remember the stated reason for the ambush?
G.O.P. Buys Ad for Lazio, Breaking Campaign Deal
It was a great show and I'm in agreement
with your entire assessment of the show.
the part that stood out for me was CJ in her final press briefing enumerating all the
gun crimes that occurred during that day. When she alluded to those who think that
an armed populace could have averted most of these and reminded everyone that the
president was shot even though he was surrounded by the best armed, best trained
body guards in the world, I tried to envision the reactions of Charlton Heston and his
disciples in the NRA. That character, CJ, is incredibly well written and beautifully portrayed.
since I live in Canada and don't have pay
TV I've only seen The Sopranos recently.
For two weeks the CTV net work broadcast an episode every week night.
There were no cuts, no bleeps. We got every word every scene and I was blown away.
I come from the northeastern US (Providence) and I have known wannabe and genuine
mobsters (Italian. Irish etc,) and these guys get it exactly right.
So for me it's a toss up.
West Wing - The Sopranos, I can't decide.
They are too good.
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