Volume 289 - Guns of Brixton

 October 7, 2000

"I am an Abortionist."
   Dr. Tom Coburn (R-Jesus Twin)  Forced to Confess

  Full   Baby-Killing   Story

 You can't tell it from the headline, because the ditto-monkey Tulsa World
 will do anything to protect the right-wing hypocrites from their past deeds.
 The headline, buried inside the nobody-reads-Saturday edition on Page 9, read
 "Coburn, abortion rights group clash over RU-486 rules."

 But hidden deep inside the story is Dr. Coburn's murderous confession:
 Coburn admitted performed abortions.

 "While it's true that on two occasions I have performed abortions,
   it is ludicrous to suggest that I was an abortionist," he weaseled.

 So,  is  Dr. Coburn an abortionist?

 I guess it depends on what the definition of the word "is," is.

 Just like with Bob Barr, we find the most critical, headline-grabbing scumbags
 are actually guilty of that which they condemn when the cameras are rolling.

 Barr told Larry King, "Of course I wrote the check to have my daughter murdered.
 You see, my wife and I share a checking account," as though their little baby
 in Heaven would understand Georgia's complex banking legalilities.

 Unlike scumbag Barr, Dr. Coburn actually pulled the trigger on those poor babies.
 The former (?) Jesus Twin (Can he use Christ's name in his title after admitting
 to murdering two defenseless babies?) said the abortion-rights group had "no business"
 revealing to the world that he, Rep. Dr. Tom Coburn, was a murdering scumbag.

 The Rev. Linda Morgan Clark, executive director of the
 Oklahoma Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice accused the murdering
 scumbag of grandstanding on the issue to get more face-time in front of a camera.

 "As a physician himself, Coburn should have more trust in physicians' ability to practice
  medicine safely, without heavy-handed government supervision," Clark said.

 "Coburn might have a different response to RU-486 if he listened to women at home
  rather than grandstanding to legislators in Washington," said Clark.

 Coburn's response was, "It's not fair to focus on the babies I've killed."

 Coburn went on to say that Clinton couldn't be trusted because he mislead us
 about his private affair with Monica Lewsinsky where nobody was murdered.

 My eyes must be playing tricks on me.

 I gotta be reading this wrong.
 Not only is Paula Jones spreading her legs for Penthouse again,
 but this time her pictures are accompanied by a Joe Conason story?

"How the Far Right used and abused her to destroy Clinton."

 Click  Here  and tell me if my eyes are lying.

 ha ha

 This is too good.
 Not as good as Laura the Martyr getting caught with her pants down,
 but it's still too good.

 Sports Action

  Today's "big football shootout" between Oklahoma and Texas turned ugly when
 the Texas mascot, "Big Bevo," went wild from mad cow disease and injured six.
 Texas wishes that had been the extent of the damage as Air Oklahoma rolled to
 a 42-7 lead, and that was just in the first half.

 Last time I checked, Oklahoma was up  84-7 in the fourth quarter.
 Things were going so bad for UT, ABC switched to the Michigan game, something
 that's never happened in the 210-year history of the "Red River Rivalry."

 Tenth-ranked-and-climbing Oklahoma's quarterback, Josh the Hoople, is expected
 to be tapped by Democrats to run against Uncle OJ Watts just 5 weeks before the election.
 Hoople is expected to win easily. Football trumps racism in Oklahoma - Uncle OJ Watts
 could marry any white girl he wants in Oklahoma, from one of the white bitches he
 knocked up as a pampered athlete all the way to Gov. Keating's daughter.
 But Hoople is white, and a white, current football hero beats a black has-been all day.

 Texans Republicans fear this is a signal from God, a harbinger of further doom that's coming.
 Looking for a silver lining, one Texas fan was heard to say, "Thank God it wasn't Tennessee."
 That game is scheduled for November 7th.

 Chop This

 In baseball news, the St Louis Cardinals, the official  bartcop.com  baseball team
 even after having "Pigboy appreciation Day" earlier in the year, opened up a jumbo-sized
 can of whopp-ass on the error-prone Atlanta Braves, out-scoring them 13-1 to advance
 to the second round of the baseball playoffs.

 The Cardinals are so deep with talent, they have players on the fucking bench
 who've hit seventy home runs in a single season.

 On a serious note, Atlanta's Chipper Jones was hospitalized after the game.

 Jones, as you may have heard, was charged with several costly errors in the last four games,
 including the easy grounder that cost Atlanta their home field advantage. Police sources
 speaking on the condition of anoniminity said Jones was so despondent immediately after
 the game, he was the victim of a failed suicide attempt, but luckily, Jones fumbled the gun
 at the crucial moment, escaping with the bullet just grazing the side of his head.

 Police cordoned off a section of Atlanta's Methodist Hospital for Jones's wives and
 children to be near the third baseman when he is able to accept visitors.

 Today's Page Two Girl is Valerie Eden.

 Click  Here

 K-Drag Cops say they benefited from Klan rally by gathering intelligence

 At last weekend's Ku Klux Klan rally in Tulsa, a robed Klansman who was wearing
 a helmet and sunglasses identified himself to the crowd of protesters, supporters and
 curious onlookers as "Justice Thompson" before launching into his speech.

 Sheriff Stanley Glanz, whose deputies patrolled Saturday's rally, said,
 "That's not his name. We know who he really is."

 "Justice Thompson" identified himself as "Mr. Sportage" in a document he submitted
 to the Sheriff's Office about the rally, Haralson said. Both names are among the 16
 aliases the 49-year-old rural Osage County man is known to use.

 "I set to work at finding out everything I could about this guy," he said.
 "He's the head honcho for the American Knights (of the KKK) in Oklahoma."

 Haralson pulled from his desk a photo of a house near Tulsa that had a
 Confederate flag out front and said, "That's where he lives."
 The residence was the site of a post-rally party.

 The man moved to the area about seven years ago when he was released from
 federal prison, where he reportedly served time for drug-related charges, Haralson said.

 "Know Your News" Pop Quiz

 Are the people seen below:

 1. Supporters of George W Bush and the Republican party?
 2. Supporters of George W Bush and state's rights?
 3. Supporters of George W Bush and the Slaver flag?
 4. Supporters of George W Bush, the Klan, Aryan Resistance and white-power?
 5. Supporters of George W Bush and killing "nigger boys."
 6. All of the above

 This ad paid for by Harkin Oil Company, the Wylie Brothers, Enron Oil,
 Haley Barbor, and Texan's for Keeping Houston's Air Clean and White.

 Another tape-measure home run from Betty Bowers

 Click Here  for her most-perfect version.

 Click Here  for the lesser, forever version.

 Glavin hummms "Happy Trails To You"

 From: mccool.13@osu.edu

  From AP via the Zoltmeter:

 "I'm absolutely shocked and dismayed that these sort of allegations would
 come up," said Rep. Bob Barr, the foundation's president from 1990 to 1994
 [who was obviously caught with his pants down--again].

 "It's just terribly distressing. If this took place, as I've seen it reported
 in the paper, the conduct itself is absolutely shocking."
 [Note to Woodward & Bernstein: this is a Category 1 non-denial denial.]

 Oh, Barr-f! These self-loathing lying-in-wait preverts need to be exposed at
 every opportunity. That is, when they are not exposing themselves. From J.
 Edgar to Roy Cohn to this latest Barr Buddy, all we ever get from these
 cowards is a steady ejaculation of purient slime.

 And this Glavin guy gives new meaning to the phrase "copping a feel..."

 So, here they are again, selling Bibles and Rightgeousness, wagging their
 dick-tongues at our randy-but-ever-popular (not to mention straight)
 president, ranting about a Higher Authority, the also-ran Rule of Law, and
 the threat of pinko com-symps to the American way of life --all the while
 passing around J. Edgar's make-up case among themselves.


 The AP has picked up this story from yesterday's  bartcop.com

 Gore Must Go Negative to Win, Yet he Can't

 Click  Here

 Morgan Fairchild says...

 Get a leg up...

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