Volume 292 - Serpent is Rising

 October 10, 2000

 More Questions for Smirk

 Well, since this completely threw him in Wisconsin last week,
 how about a repeat of that old campaign favorite:

 Why should I vote for you instead of your opponent?

 How do you spell W?
 E=MC2, please explain the energy/mass relationship to the speed of light

 How many pickles did Peter Piper pick?
 Who was Lincoln's Vice President?

 Who shot JR?
 On what Donovan hit song did James Page play lead guitar?

 Gov. Butch, how would you defend yourself against charges that
 your campaign panders to the racist elements in the Republican Party?

 For instance, you've done everything but drape yourself in the Confederate Battle Flag,
 you refused to meet with the family of James Bytd (dragged to death by White Supremecists),
 and you still have on your staff a man whom you've appointed who defended in court the use
 of the term "porch monkeys" as not racially offensive when referring to African Americans.

 What is the penalty for being caught with cocaine in amounts for personal use in Texas?

 Is it legal or mandatory in the Texas legislature to carry a concealled weapon?

 Send more Questions!

 Today's Page Two Girl is from the Middle East

 Click  Here

From: cealie@uswest.net

You know what they say about elections taking place in a year with a "0",
which makes the Vice Presidential choice more important.  If anything
(Koresh, God, Allah Whatever forbid) should happen to Gore, I would
far prefer Uncle Joe to be a heartbeat away than "Grim Reaper" Cheney.

Joe embraces humanity, while Big Time is in contempt of it.
A fearful, hateful and self-centered creep like Cheney
would put us in the middle of WW III.

(back to the couch)

If Smirk was elected (snort!) and lost his mind under the pressure,
"Big Time" would take over long enough to have a heart attack from the stress,
leaving President Gephardt to run the nation - we could do a lot worse...

 A Message from a Friend

 Click  Here

 From: (withheld)

 Subject: Betty Bowers & Ezekiel


 I got to thinking about Betty Bowers' lifting the lid on the pornographical
 Ezekiel 23:20 the other day via your site and decided to check other
 translations of the same verse.  Here is one from the The Revised English
 Bible with the Apocrypha published by Oxford Cambridge Press:

 "She was infatuated with their male prostitutes,
   whose members were like  those of donkeys and
   whose seed came in floods like that of stallions."

 Moose & Squirrel in K.C.

 Moose & Squirrel,
 ha ha
 Does it say who the nasty ho is?
 It sure sounds like Laura Schlessinger, from the description.

 ...and why is she so desirous to find a man, (or men,)
 who can give her stallion-loads of ... attention?

 Maybe she's an ancestor of Paul Harvey?

 Man, that Bible is a nasty book!
 It reads like the Starr Report.

 On This Day in History

 On Oct. 10, 1973: Vice President Spiro Agnew, accused of accepting bribes,
 pleaded no contest to one count of federal income tax evasion and resigned his office.

 Yet, somehow, Bill Clinton and his "felony free" administration,
 is constantly called the "most corrupt in history" by the vulgar Pigboy
 and the "fair and honest" people at the FOX Whore network.

 ...and that's without mentioning Dick Nixon resigning in disgrace
 because the Senate was going to convict him for his crimes.

 ...and that's without mentioning Nixon's Attorney General went to prison,
 as well as his Chief of Staff, his White House attorney and dozens more.

 There's only one word for people who KNOW these facts and continue
 to label the "felony free" Clinton administration, "the most corrupt in history."

 You know what that word is...

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Howard Stern was named nationally syndicated
personality of the year at the 2000 Billboard/Airplay Monitor Radio Awards,
presented Saturday in New York at the close of Billboard's annual seminar.

 No Pigboy?
 No LA She-Thing?
 No senile horse molesters?

 I guess Billboard isn't owned by Rupert...

Wicked Wretch of the Left


Wick Wretch, or Left Wick, take your pick, is the latest description of Al Gore
to light up the right wing internet chat boards, of which there are too many.

The Rights outnumber the Left Wicks 20-1 on the internet. And the Rights
only focus on dispensing and propagating misinformation about Al Gore.
It's like nothing else is happening in the world!

Don't these people ever take a break to go to the grocery store, or do their laundry,
or pay their bills, or talk to their families, or do other things normal people do?
But, back to my thesis. Let's examine the facts about Al Gore.

To begin with, notwithstanding the Rights mischaracterization of  him,  Al Gore is not a liar.

Further, Al Gore is eminently qualified to be President. Far more so than George Bush,
the intellectual lightweight, who hasn't made up his mind what he wants to do with his life when he grows up.

The fact that Al the Candidate is an honest, decent, man who is very qualified to be President
has placed him directly in the sights of the fanatic right wing internet crowd.

And the Rights are having a field day tossing polls numbers around, and slashing and burning their way
through any opposition to their disbursement of volumes of misinformation about Candidate Gore.
What is especially amusing is when the Rights slash and burn each other.

Take the latest dot.com war between Etherzone.com and Lucianne.com.

It's a hoot. It's better than Saturday morning cartoons.
It's better than the NY Times on Sunday morning.
It's better than sex!!!

And it's free entertainment. Just log on.
Go to Lucianne.com, then go to Behind the Headlines.
From there follow the links provided. And viola!.
You have REAL entertainment.

In the meantime, Al Gore is being libeled, slandered, defamed,
and undermined as a legitimate Presidential candidate.

And the Rights pick, George W. Bush, could not lead his way out
of a campaign watercloset to save his inept candidacy!

And the Left Wicks are sitting back on their better sides trying to
figure out why Al Gore's lead in the polls is slipping.

 Have they found Noah's Ark?

 Click  Here

 More Questions for Smirk

Governor Smirk....this is a question concerning economic trends.
If you adjusted for inflation, would the cost of a legal abortion
be more or less today than it was in the early seventies?

 Send in your questions!

From: konai@hotmail.com

Hey Bartcop,

How come CNN's poll consistently shows Bush leading
while every other poll shows him behind.  I wonder.


Raj, good question.
I'm really old, and I've never seen the polls in such a mess.
One has Smirk up by 8, another shows Gore ahead by 5.

I say, "Gore in a landslide."

Buy your Chinaco soon.

 From: riskyschemer@hotmail.com

 Subject: Latest Polls

 Need I direct your attention to the latest CNN/USATODAY/GALLUP numbers
 which show Bush on top 49% to 41%. It seems algore's masterful debate "victory"
 resulted in a Bush surge in nearly all the major polls.

 Al is so high-minded he dispatched Butt-boy Begala to "stick with issues" by assailing
 Bush's National Guard service record, as if anyone gives a damn. You better pray that
 Alan Simpson's account of how the principled Mr. Gore auctioned off his Gulf War vote
 doesn't get any traction with the mainstream press. I haven't seen Howard Greene and
 George Mitchell jumping forward to defend Gore's version of events.

 John Huang

 You say Republicans don't care that Bush was a deserter in wartime?
 Boy, you sure got pissed when citizen Clinton protested an immoral war.

 ...and I always pray about what Alan Simpson may or may not do...

 It's too bad you don't have a web page,
 because after Nov 7th you're going to disappear.

 Great Show-Biz Quotes

 Geena Davis's new ABC sitcom is not just tasteless, it's amateurishly tasteless.
 Geena may not be be the worst new sitcom this season, but that's only because
 Tucker and The Trouble With Normal set the bar abnormally low.
 If Geena runs eight weeks, it'll be lucky, and we won't.
  -- Robert Bianco, USA Today TV Critic

 Maybe it's because West Wing was so good,
 but I haven't seen anything that has been any good since.

 I saw Deadline, which I thought would be good, but it was just passable.
 I taped Dark Angel, but haven't seen it yet. (Second episode tonight)
 Gideon's Crossing has it's no-commercial-interruption premier tonight.
 Titans was so bad, it made me think it was a SNL skit, but I could tell
    it wasn't because SNL has some cute girls on it this year.
 The Fugitive, panned-in-advance by me, wasn't as bad as it could've been.
 C.S.I. is going to need work to survive. In the first show, they tried to solve
    four crimes AND they shot the good-looking girl. That's not good.
    One of the crimes they were trying to solve were those caused by a cute hooker

   who put knockout drops on her nipples so her johns would lick them and pass out.
   Plus, the boss is such a prick, he makes me wish I worked for Sean Hannity.
  The District was worse than Deadlines. Craig T Nelson is going to clean up
  Washington DC with wooden acting and plots rejected by Nash Bridges?

   But the biggest disappointment of all the disappointments has been ED.
  Check these reviews:
 "The hottest show of the season." - Rolling Stone
 "A true original," - TV Guide
 "Could be the season's finest hour," - USA Today
 "A breath of cool, clean air," - Elle Magazine.
  (Elle Magazine? They review TV shows now?)
 "One of the season's most intriguing new shows," - The New York Whore Times
 "The best new drama on any network's schedule," - The Washington Post
 "Show of the Week," - People Magazine
 "Adorable and hilarious," - TIME Magazine
 "The best new show of the season," - Entertainment Weekly

  I wanted to like it, half for Dave's sake and half because there's nothing else on
  before Regis/X-Files, but I thought it was terrible. It was trying so damn hard to be cute.
  Maybe the problem was reviews like we've just seen. What, besides the premier of
  West Wing could live up to that kind of wild hype?

  Maybe it'll get better once they get into it, but they don't need to wait 6-8 shows
  before they start doing the good ones.

 Molly Ivins - Always on-target

 What are we to make of Bush's suggestion that we encourage energy exploration
  in Mexico so we won't be dependent on foreign oil? Bush actually said he had
  discussed this with Mexican President-elect Vicente Fox. Shouldn't someone
  cable Fox and tell him we're not considering annexation?)

 Click  Here

 More True Rock n Roll Tales from the Road
  by   The Ledge

 Click  Here

 On Tue Oct 10 08:44:30, THE BIRD wrote:

      > I need some support over at a website forum called
      > bartcop.  I'm trying to stand up for conservative issues
      > and these stupid liberal socialist have me outnumbered.
      > Go to www.bartcop.com and click on guest book get into
      > the second forum and state your opinon and let these
      > liberals know whos in charge.

      > THE BIRD
      > www.thebirdbath.com

 Or, ...you could face me like a man...

 ha ha

 Pigboy says he's put some pictures of him playing with his cats
 on his website because, "They make me look more human."
 We'll see...

 The first thing on his website is a banner that says,
 "Drive your liberal friends crazy - send me money!"
 So I clicked on it and it said "Unable to locate."

 Good move, Pigboy.
 If I had $100,000,000 in the bank, my web site would fucking work.

 So, I clicked on the cat pictures.

 Rush, you're right.
 You look more human next to an animal.
 I guess all Hitler and Pol Pot needed was some kitty pictures?

 The second one surprised me.

    I hate living with this prick.
      Cigar smoke - constantly...
             I wish I was dead.

 More Questions for Smirk

 Since you are well-versed in cocktails, could you tell us please what are
 the chemicals used in the lethal cocktail administered to poor white trash
 and black death row inmates who couldn't afford competent counsel?

 Send in your questions!

From:  lind2116@home.com

Subject: Democrats Humanity Achievements

Dear Bart,

We just returned from the Kennedy Space Center. It is just an awesome sight!
The Kennedy Space Center, one of the greatest humanistic achievements and
contribution from a democratic President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy (Catholic).
An achievement that enriches All of humanity.

I tried to think about humanistic achievements republicans are credited,
but could not think of one. I can't think of anything of importance that was
named after Eisenhower, Nixon, Bush or Reagan. Well, the DC airport was
named after Reagan but nobody calls it by the Reagan name. The most famous
airport in the world, New York's JFK is named, of course, after our beloved JFK.

President F. Roosevelt, the people's president, gave this country so much including
Social Security benefits which he fought tooth and nail with the republicans. If the
democrats allow that little crappy Bushe boy to destroy social security, a gift from
a humane, compassionate and honorable statesman like our beloved prez Roosevelt,
would be an insult to America.

President Johnson gave us the Civil Rights Laws and the Houston (Tx) Space Center
is named after President Johnson, the Lyndon Johnson Space Center. President Carter
was a short term president but yet, his world-wide accomplishments with Habitat for
Humanity places him in "Big Time" humanistic achievements.

President Clinton broke the mold in achievements, from prosperity at home to peace
throughout the world. History will be exceptionally kind to Prez Clinton. Now, we need
to kickout the evil repukes and elect Al Gore as a continued collection of great humanistic
democratic presidents.
Thank you darling!

Grandma, New Jersey.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Thanks for tuning in to the Rush Limba show.
 I'm broadcasting today from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
 I went to the ball game last night as the guest of the 130 year-old
 ditto-monkey owner of the Minnesota Vikings, and I had such a..


 We're not?
 Well, then, where the hell are we?

 St Paul?
 I'm so stroked out, I don't know what city I'm in?

 Oh, picky, picky - it's close enough...

 Here's that  Margarita article  where the reporters seem to be saying
 they know something we don't know about Smirk's chances on November 7th.

 Click  Here

 What do they know?
 Why won't they print what they know?

 Thanks to:  JDWRods@aol.com


 Did Smirk come in second in that debate?
 Or did he come in fourth?

 Click  Here

From: joelv@synapsecc.com

Been reading this for a while, now I must contribute. Why would the right
try to tell anyone that Gore didn't know what a mammogram was? I know that
95% of people in Nebraska know what it is, therefore, 99% of America has to
know. I'm guessing Gore fits in to this percentage. This lying thing is
getting out of control, and I hope Gore stops this. The right is telling the
truth, no doubt. I am from Nebraska (                        ). Fill in how
you like. I was recently there, and listened to some of the right garb, and
you know what strikes me? The BULLSHIT they spew!

Tommie Frazier was a "N" to them, unless he made the correct decision on the speed option.
I could not agree with you more, OK and NEB both have a little "trouble" rooting for their teams.
But, this year we have Crouch and Heupel, should make things easier. You have made the perfect
point, I wish one right would answer to.

Why, if you want small gov't, do you want to be in everyone's business? I think they mean,
"we'll decide what the gov't will be involved in and let you know". 1st, men should not get to vote
on abortion, only the consequences facing the girlfriend/wife if she has one. 2nd, if the right
will send $5 to every female who is thinking about it, then they can have a say.

WON'T PART WITH THE MONEY WILL YA? Why do you trust them with a baby,
but not a decision? When asked by my friends or family why they shouldn't vote for SMIRK,
I only can respond " YOU ARE NOT RICH ENOUGH".
Because going through the list of things is hell!

I enjoy what you do.


 Is it just me, or were the Tom Tomorrow cartoons funnier
 before he turned on Gore and went full-tilt for Nader?

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Caller:  Hi, Rush. My name's Mike and I'm calling from Wisconsin.

 Pigboy: Dave, since you live near Wisconsin, let me tell you
              what happened to me last night in Minneapolis...

 10/10, third hour

 ha ha

 How crooked is the average ditto-monkey running for office?

 Tom Wesson changed his ballot name to "Tomas Eduardo Wesson,"
 because he thinks Hispanic voters are that stupid.

 Click  Here

 PS. He admits he's not Hispanic.

 Judge Amy says

 Get a Leg Up...

 Read  bartcop.com  every day

 Hillary Murderered the Black Panthers Update

 Urbanmyths.com debunks a lot of these "Gop Dogmas."

 Click  Here  for this particular horseshit.

 Thanks to Gonzo Dave at AMPOL

 Ask BartCop

 From: WilliamL15@prodigy.net

 Subject: Rush on hardballs

 What a frigging idiot rush is. First he blames Bill Clinton for the oil crisis,
 when the fact is that it was Ronald Reagan who killed Jimmy Carter's
 alternative fuels project and tried to abolish the department of energy,
 then he says that the constitution demanded that twice elected
 Bill Clinton be impeached for getting a concentual BJ.

 What is wrong with him?
 Is he retarded or what?


 Dear Bill,

 It is decidedly so,


 From: Pajessb@aol.com

 Subject: Yet another reason why I love Kevin Spacey

 Here's a heartwarming story concerning my favorite actor
 (heart thumping with admiration and lust) :

 From Mitchell Fink's column (reproduced without permission):

 Kevin Spacey may or may not be dating Helen Hunt (yecch), but there's
 no question Bill Clinton thinks the "American Beauty" star is just swell.

 "Getting to be friends with Kevin has been one of the best perks of  being president"
 the leader of the free world declared Thursday night at the Supper Club in midtown
 (What city? Doesn't say)

 The occasion was a fund-raiser for Rep. Charles Rangel, who came away with
 around $500,000 for his National Leadership PAC. But it was also a chance
 for Spacey and Clinton to share a hug.

 The guys have had some fun together. There was that time Clinton made a
 surprise call to Spacey's mom from Air Force One. And then there was the gag
 video Clinton made for last spring's White House Correspondents Association
 dinner - in which Spacey guest-starred and loaned the Prez his Academy Award.

 Small wonder that Spacey should proclaim on Thursday that Clinton was
 "the most progressive, the most effective, the most hardworking, the most
 dedicated President we've ever had."

 Clinton blew kisses back, recalling how Franklin D. Roosevelt
 "used to say that the President had to be America's best actor.
 Well, I'm the second-best actor. Kevin is the best actor."

 - PJ

 Creep of the Week

 Click  Here

 Remember in 1996 when Rush lied about who won the debates?
 TIME Magazine busted him.

 The Ballad of BartCop

 Now Bartcop thinks
 All Republicans
 Well, he thinks they all think alike.
 So he calls them whores and Nazis and such
 On his adorable website.
 "They're the party of hate!" he rants
 To a captivated few
 "They worship Rush! In him they trust!"
 "They all have 'sheeple' views!"
 KKK and anti-gay
 Social Darwinists
 Religio-nuts with rifle butts.
 Neo-right fascists
 Bartcop claims a caring heart
 Pro-black, pro-union, pro-choice
 "You must for a Democrat if you all are to have a voice!"
 "A Republican? You're a racist!"
 At least that's Bartcop's view
 He'll judge them just as swiftly as klansman will judge a Jew
 He probably heard a few churchgoers voted GOP
 "They're using God to invade our schools!"
 "They're fascists! Can't you see?"
 Party chooses Bartcop's friends
 Such as Clinton and Al Gore
 He's sold his soul to a perjurer, yet Dr. Laura is the whore?

 ha ha

Well, Bartcop sticks to his prejudice
 As a racist stays misinformed
 He'll vote left under the guise of good
 His heart will falsely warm
 He's got opinions cast in stone
 New ones will never form
 He'll just assume you're this or that
 That's good enough for Bart
 If you want genuine ignorance
 His site's a good place to start.

 by BrianBoddington@aol.com

From: mshemo@hotmail.com

To: Laura C. Schlessinger  mail4drlaura@yahoo.com
 ha ha  What does the "C" stand for?   I gots to know...

Subject: Your Attack on Columbia University

You complain, endlessly and shrilly, that your many enemies twist your words
and otherwise treat you unfairly.  I wonder if you've ever considered how
your calculated dishonesty causes your listeners to mistrust you and to
discount your tales of persecution.  For a clue, you should listen to a tape
of your October 4, 2000 radio show.

To begin the first hour of that show, you read from an editorial from the
October 4, 2000 Wall Street Journal.  (You failed to identify the "piece,"
as you called it, as an editorial, passing it off as a news story.)  The
editorial concerned the new sexual misconduct policy at Columbia University.
(Could it be that you might still be resentful that 35 years ago, Barnard
rejected your application for admission?  Weren't you happy at SUNY?)  As
you read parts of the editorial, you made three references to NOW that
weren't included anywhere in the editorial -- not supported by any evidence,
your accusations sprang from your mania to smear your opponents.  You ended
by quoting from material produced by a group which the editorial mentioned
as an opponent of the policy; this material was not quoted in the editorial,
however.  Anyone who thought that all of your ranting was included in the
"piece" in the Wall Street Journal was misled.
By you.  Strike One.

You've sued a number of people in your time, but without much success.
None of your degrees is a law degree.  Your method of research is simply to
collect faxes and to cut stories out of newspapers.  On what basis,
therefore, can you defend your claim that "a grim hypothetical in which a
violent member of an anti-fertility cult destroys the fetus of a pregnant
woman and wins her gratitude" is -- in your words -- "a real and complex
case" and "an interesting legal question"?  According to the editorial, it
was the exam "question" that was "about the issue of valid consent -- and
rooted in an actual case history."  Surely an educated woman realizes that
what is "hypothetical" is -- by definition -- not "real."   According to the
 editorial, "the Dean of the Law School announced that the matter raised 'a
plausible suggestion of liability and unlawfulness.'"  What training, or what
investigation, qualifies you to challenge the Dean's judgment in this matter?
None.  Strike Two.

I was amused that you made common cause, in the name of democracy and due
process, with Columbia University students accused of sexual assault.  If
the issue was under-age drinking or recreational drug use on campus, I doubt
you would be jumping up on those sturdy ankles of yours to champion "the
right to confront one's accuser, to confront and examine witnesses, to have
an attorney present -- the basic principles of due process" in a
non-criminal proceeding at a private university.  Aren't you the one who's
always denouncing parents who hire lawyers, or call in the Reverend Jesse
Jackson, to defend their precious bunchkins from penalties for misconduct --
penalties including suspension and expulsion from school?  Aren't you the
one who endorsed mandatory drug testing in a public high school  -- a search
of every student's person, whether or not there is any reason to suspect
that student of unlawful drug use?  What is it about an allegation of rape
of a drunken or drugged coed that calls forth this patriotic fervor in you,
that inspires -- at long last -- a concern for due process?  Does the accused
rapist's plight remind you of the charges against you in the court of public opinion?

Your TV show is tanking, your advertisers are running for the hills,
so that must mean we are losing our democracy, we're losing our country.
Or so you say.  Strike Three.

 ...just so people don't forget,

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