Volume 291 - I'm So Tired

 October 9, 2000

 RUSH on MNF Tonight?
  He lied. Oh, he was there, but didn't
  speak or slur any black people or anything. 

 From: ajcortez@mindspring.com


 Few quick notes.
 How much does Al Gore target the intelliegentsia?
 Go to  http://www.algore.com/

 Wait for the page to load, then right click in the middle of the page and select View Source.
 There's a message in the [Millter Translator On] gollyin' [MT Off] source code.
 What do you expect from the guy who invented internet?

 Second note.  What the hell happened to Condaleeza Rice? She was all over
 the damn place before the Dem Convention. Here was Bush doing his very best
 to show he wasn't a racist slime ("See some of my best advisors are black").

 Now when Shrub MAJORLY screws up his foreign policy cue cards, she's gone.
 The one damn person in the bunch who had a brain and she's run for the hills.
 Interesting eh?

 Semper Dem,


 Hey, that thing on Gore's site is cool.
 As far as Rice, I hadn't noticed, but you're right.
 Where is she?

 No Meet the Whore, no Larry King, no Today Show?
 Why are they hiding her?

 Maybe she's mad because Bush won't let her wear pants on his plane?

  More Questions for Smirk

 1. Since your flacks won't, please name one to five people
     who served with you in the Alabama Air Nat'l Guard.

 2. Are the 100,000+ children suffering in squalor in the Texas Colonias
     considered 'left behind?'  If not, explain.

 3. Can you guarantee, on pain of death, you won't go into a drug/alcohol
     induced blackout when the going gets tough if you are President?

 Send in your Questions for Smirk

 Today's Page Two Girl is Elisa Bridges

 Click  Here

 How Rupert Murdoch got in bed with Gore
  By David Carr   9/21/00

 Full Story

 Scan the list of people who supported Al Gore's record-breaking
 fund-raiser at Radio City Music Hall that featured the likes of Bette
 Midler, Jimmy Buffett, Paul Simon and k.d. lang, and there's a
 New York publisher who is in the midst of a tabloid fight to the
 death. But if you were guessing that name belonged to Daily News
 owner Mortimer Zuckerman, you'd be wrong.

 Rupert Murdoch, chairman of News Corp., is listed as a ''vice chair''
 of the Sept. 14 event, which means he raised at least $50,000 in hard cash.
 In doing so, the legendarily conservative Murdoch -- as first reported in the
 New York Observer -- joined the likes of liberal stalwarts Harvey Weinstein
 and Jann Wenner in supporting Gore's candidacy.

 Guest Editorial
 David McGriffy makes sense with "Behind the Lies"

 Click  Here

 Questions for Smirk on Wednesday

 From: jhessert@earthlink.net

 Here are 10 questions I'd ask Smirk if I had 75,000,000 Americans watching us live.

 1.)  Can Jews go to Heaven?
 2.)  How much does a gallon of milk cost?
 3.)  If elected, will you pardon your father?
 4.)  Name at least 5 countries beside the U.S. that have nuclear weapons.
 5.)  Why does it take your handlers three whole days to repackage Gore’s policy proposals as your own?
 6.)  Explain how Federal laws are created.
 7.)  What is the average income for U.S. citizens?
 8.)  Does the U.S. Constitution allow a convicted felon to serve as President?
 9.)  Describe any time when a major donor asked you for a political favor and you said "no".
10.)  What is the penalty for going AWOL during a time of war?

 I've got way more, but it's only a 90 minute debate...

 Janet from Possum County

 Send in more questions,

 Maybe Gore can use them...

 RUSH on MNF Tonight?
  From: (please don't publish my work email address)

 I heard on the radio this morning that Rush Windbaugh will be visiting the
 Monday Night Football booth tonight.  Apparently the blimp was not
 available, or else it needs an infusion of hot air.  Maybe he and Dennis
 Miller will take each other on.  Wouldn't that be great!

 I heard Rush say he was flying to Minnesoooota after today's show,
 but since I'm a democrat with "fuzzy math," I didn't put 2 and 2 together.

 Will Dennis Miller get in a few good shots?
 IMPORTANT!  Remember what Miller said about MNF:
 "If I say 'Golly,' I mean 'fuck'"

 If he sees Pigboy and says, "Golly," I'm going to howl.

 From: Andrew.Wiesner@legis.state.wi.us

 I love your site.  As a good Dem I get lots of friends asking me for
 ammunition to use in arguements with GOPers.  I think it would be great if
 you had a page on your site that was easy to find that had a list of the 20
 best things to say in such an arguement.
 Maybe a page refuting the common GOP attacks would be good, too.
 I think it would be really, really useful for the next 4 weeks.

 A devoted reader,


 I've always thought, "horseshit" was a good ice-breaker.
 I try to answer every attack letter I get, except for the "Gore Death List,"
 and the "Hillary helped murder a black panther" kind of crappola.

 As far as getting everything organized in a readable, easy-to-read form,
 I need to make a deal with Judith Regan.

 From: dev-null@no-id.com

 Subject: You web site

 Th wonderful thing about freedom of speech is that it's permitted to a scumbag like you.
 You seem to think that EVERYONE is entitled to your opinion.
 Lapdog of left handed limpdicked liberalism.

 From: RWIREMAN@peoplepc.com

 Subject: Smirks Follies

 We were promised all these revalations into the Bush sex and drug habits by you
 and the people at Ampol for the last three months. Its time to put up or shut up.


 I predicted for the last 16 months that all would be revealed, but the press
 will not write about any of it because they're convinced Bush is going to lose.

 Let me ask you:
 Would you rather win or see a Smirk cocaine story in the paper?
 For the last 8 years, the right has had the "pleasure" of writing stories about Clinton.
 Meanwhile, he's making policy, running the military, vetoing shit from this congress
 and running the planet. You don't want to trade places with them, do you?

 The good news is - there's no reason to get the big guns out.

 From: (withheld)

 Heh, now why is it you just can't publish any of the substantive pieces I
 send to you, even things you request sometimes, but you do publish something
 like that short piece I sent, something rather trite on both our parts?
 Just curious.

 Do you simply prefer the trite over the substantive?
 Or maybe you're still mad because of some of the criticisms I've made of
 Saint Page and Saint Clinton - and valid ones at that - particularly when I am,
 hmmm, 1) a musician, and hmmm, 2) a leftist (it makes centrist democrats pissy
 when liberal progressives criticise them). And so you publish a little trivial thing like
 that to make myself look "bad" and yourself look "good," or as the tough guy,
 or whatthefuckever, then just trash all those other substantive pieces I send you.
 Is that it? Seems to me the cyber equivalent of screening calls and
 shutting off the microphone.

 This will take some trust on your part,
 but I'm guessing it's a matter of length.

 Swear to Koresh, I have a very, very small attention span.
 I think whatever success bartcop.com has had is due to the fact that
 if you don't like a Page story or a tequila story or a Page two girl,
 a change of subject is just a next-page click away.

 It's like something you can read on the toilet (No jokes)
 I know it's hard to write something short and substantive.

 Also, since mail comes in faster than I can read it, it makes sense
 for me to read the shorter ones. That's also not fair, maybe.
 I don't have a "litmus test" on letters.
 I just grab what seems to fit.

       By the way, I am also just a bit pissed that you went ahead and published
 this email address, even after I have expressly requested in a few past emails
 that you DO NOT PUBLISH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS, because I have been
 getting unsolicited emails and IMs, and provided you with an ALTERNATIVE
 EMAIL ADDRESS. But no. Thanks a fuckin lot for respecting my requests.

 Sir or madam, I gets dozens of e-mails per day.
 Do you think I have the brain capacity to remember and memorize
 which people want to remain anonymous?

 The only thing I remember about you specifically is that your first letter
 was an attack, then you "friendlied-up." I considered you a success story.
 Now, you're not.

 Have you ever seen a chess master play 30 games of chess at one time?
 I did that once, as one of the 30 losers, and this is not a very good analogy,
 but sometimes I feel like I'm having 30 conversations at once, so if I forget
 something or make a mistake, remind yourself that I'm not a chess master.

 As far as  "the cyber equivalent of screening calls and shutting off the microphone,"
 the guestbook and new forum were created specifically for people who may feel
 like they were shut out or cut off.

 Do you see a message forum on Pigboy's site?
 Do you see one on Laura's site?
 Do you see one at rushonline.com?
 Do you see one at Fox Whore News?

 I'll tell you what else I'm guilty of - editing letters for length, which is another reason
 to visit the guestbook/forum and tell others how I'm "ducking the tough questions."

 You can't seriously think that I planned to mess with you.
 Any chance the mistake was made on your end?

 From: Nmmeeks@aol.com

 Subject: Catholics, Laura, Jews, Hell


 The question isn't how could catholics be liberal the question is how could
 catholics be conservatives?  Didn't the first Reagan/Bush administrations
 subsidize the murder of hundreds and hundreds of catholics whose only crime
 was wanting a better life?  TO be more specific didn't the reagan bush
 administration subsidize the right wing death squads that raped and murdered
 7 catholic nuns in South America?  i guess THOSE CATHOLICS don't count
 because they're the "brown ones".  What about all the catholics who are --
 according to Bush's favorite seminary -- are doomed to hell?
 Should they vote republican?

 And, by the way, i wonder if anyone told that stupid bitch that according to
 the current figurehead of God's Own Party she'll be stoking the fires of the
 big red machine because she's Jewish.  Koresh, you drag a few million dollars
 through a radio station and she just flops over on her back.


 Now THAT'S a good e-mail.
 Short, on-topic, cutting, honest, and with a dash of humor at the end.
 Mr. Knows-music-and-politics-better-than-me could learn from you.

 Actor Richard Farnsworth appears in a scene from the film "The Straight Story."
 Farnsworth, the oldest actor to get an Academy Award nomination, died of a
 self-inflicted gunshot wound Friday in New Mexico.

 Farnsworth, a former stuntman, was nominated earlier this year for an Oscar
 for best actor for his performance in "The Straight Story." Farnsworth was 80.
 He was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer several years ago.

 "Hey, if I don't like a movie, I get up and leave."
   --Wayne Rogers as Trapper John, MASH  TV show

 Yet, the GOP would take away your right-to-die in peace.
 Oh sure, they spout all kinds of bullshit about "letting people decide,"
 until it conflicts with their particular religious superstition.
 Then they throw out everything they claim to believe in.

 Can you imagine any hell worse than that?
 Trapped inside a cancer-riddled body, suffering from off-the-scale pain,
 and the ditto-monkeys refuse to let you slip into the peaceful darkness.

 As a rule, I don't applaud a suicide, but Farnsworth was 80 years old.
 He was dying from excrutiating pain from bone cancer.
 What's he supposed to do?
 Take it like a man?

 I don't want ANY son of a bitch taking that decision from me.

 But this just proves once again that the GOP are lying bastards out to trick you
 with false rhetoric about "empowering people," when they will hijack your wife's
 uterus, hijack your children's religious upbringing, and hijack your peace of mind
 when you're weeks or months from the brain-unplug that is death.

 I don't want ANY son of a bitch taking that decision from me.
 If I need to, I'll pay some teenager $500 to smuggle my heavy
 Crown Royal whiskey bag from my house into the nursing home.
 You think I'm going to lie there in pain like some shit-for-brains knowing
 I'm surrounded by ditto-monkeys who believe in the invisible ghosts?
 Not on my fucking life.

 Why can't the GOP just be honest and say,
"We know better than you, that's why we're doing this.
   Our particular brand of religious insanity seems so real to me
   that it trumps whatever personal wishes you have on your deathbed."

 Fuck that.

 ...lying bastards.

 Subject: re: Doctor Whora's question

 "How can a devout Catholic be a liberal?"
 Well, for starters, here are a few recent encyclicals:

 John XXIII Mater et Magistra 1961

 Paul VI Populorum Progressio 1967

 John Paul II Laborem Exercens 1981

 But what would an atheist fag know?
 Hope this is helpful


 ha ha

 Good one, Allan!

 Scary Republican Quotes

 "We've got the wind at our back.
   We like the way things are shaping up."
     -- Ari Fleisher, Smirk spokesman


  That means they're going to be very disappointed November 8th.

  ...and people wonder why I have guns?

 From: (withheld)

 Hillary the Murderer...

 Back in 1969 a group of Black Panthers decided that a fellow black panther
 named Alex Rackley needed to die.  Rackley was suspected of disloyalty.

 Rackley was first tied to a chair.  Once safely immobilized his friends
 tortured him for hours by, among other things, pouring boiling water on him.

 When they got tired of torturing Rackley, Black Panther member Warren
 Kimbo took Rackley outside and put a bullet in his head.  Rackley's body was
 later found floating in a river about 25 miles north of New Haven, Conn.

 Perhaps at this point you're curious as to what happened to these Black Panthers.

 In 1977, that's only eight years later, only one of the killers was still in jail.
 The shooter, Warren Kimbro, managed to get a scholarship to Harvard.
 He later became an assistant dean at Eastern Connecticut State College.

 Isn't that something? As a '60s radical you can pump a bullet into someone's head,
 and a few years later, in the same state, you can become an assistant college dean!
 Only in America!

 Erica Huggins was the lady who boiled the water for Mr. Rackley's torture.
 Some years later Ms. Huggins was elected to a California School Board.
 How in the world do you think these killers got off so easy?

 Maybe it was in some part due to the efforts of two people who came to the
 defense of the Panthers.  These two people actually went so far as to shut
 down Yale University with demonstrations in defense of the accused Black
 Panthers during their trial.

 One of these people was none other than Bill Lan Lee.
 Mr. Lee isn't a college dean.  He isn't a member of a California School Board.
 He is now head of the US Justice Department's Civil Rights Division.

 O.K., so who was the other Panther defender?
 Is this other notable Panther defender now a school board member?
 Is this other Panther apologist now an assistant college dean?
 No, Neither!

 The other Panther defender was, like Lee, a radical law student at Yale at the time.
 She is now known as The "smartest woman in the world."
 She is none other than our lovely First Lady, the incredible Hillary Rodham Clinton.

 You see how they are?

 Since 1992, this is how Republicans get an erection,
 and it's the only way a She-Nazi can get herself wet.
 Somebody makes up some shit, then they put it into the Freeper stream of horseshit,
 then they forward this horseshit into their vast e-mail network.

 Then Drudge gets hold if it, then Pigboy, then O'Reilly, then Hannity
 and by this time Fox Whore News starts a "legitimate" story on
 "The incredible Hillary memo that's sweeping the Internet - Fact or Fiction?"

 That way, O'Reilly can do an hour on it, followed by an hour with Hannity,
 followed by a "special" Paula Von Zahn report where they'll claim,
 "We just report - you decide."

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "Rush Limba, coming to you on .............the radio!"

 ha ha

 From: LordStarFyre@aol.com

 Howdee Bartcop;

 Lord StarFyre here. I've been sending folks over to bartcop.com, and
 specifically telling them to head over to the Naked Republicans section,
 but now I find it has disappeared. Any way to reinstate it???

 There's no better way to shut up a Reich Wing A-Hole than to show him
 the Happy Halloween shot of Paula Jones, especially now that it's been
 confirmed that Ms Pure as the Wind Driven Snow is now going to be putting
 her Meat Curtains on display in Penthouse, a 12 page "spread" no less...

 So Come on Bartcop, help us out here...
 We need our Naked Republicans

 Point them to  http://www.bartcop.com/picidx.htm

 From: "peale"@adam.cheshire.net

    My understanding of Rush's draft status is that he eagerly used his
 pilonidal cyst as a reason to get a deferment, in contrast to his dad who
 had the same thing and LIED about it to get INTO the army during WWII.

 Whatever else may be true about Pigboy and his dad, I've read that the old
 man was quite pissed about Rush getting out, having thought that military service
 would make a man of him (nothing else having worked, before or since).

    In Al Franken's book "Rush Limbaugh Is A Big, Fat, Idiot" Al has a great
 fictional chapter about the combat exploits of Pigboy, George Will, Newt
 Gingrich and other "War is great if someone else does the fighting" hypocrites.


 All I know about Rush's daddy is when Rush confessed that his infected ass
 prevented him from joining that war he loved so much, he said,
 "My father had the same condition."

 I assumed that mean his father was equally a coward,
 but that was just an intelligent assumption on my part.
 Maybe Pigboy didn't clarify that to avoid the obvious contrast
 of how the two infectees "handled" their cysts.

 ...and Al Franken's book was a stroke of genius.

 From: DDThinkFree@aol.com


 Did you happen to catch Rush on Hardball (or whatever show it was)?
 I missed it, and was just wondering how fat the man was getting yet again.

 I missed it, too.
 I was all set to catch the replay later that night but, like Matt Glavin,
 MSNBC "jerked it off," and put on a National Geographic, instead.

 Maybe they were ashamed of themselves for inviting a Pigboy on...

 PS. They claim they're re-running the Screamer/Pigboy interview tonight.

 From: thediehard@mindspring.com

 Subject: that wasn't funny

 Re "save a puppy's life"

 Threaten me or threaten Hillary (I'm rather into mud wrestling myself),
 but don't threaten a companion animal.  There are sickos out there
 who would take that as justification for their own cruelty.  Ask any veterinarian
 about some of the horrors they've seen perpetrated on helpless animals.

 Clinton Reflects on Two Terms
 Says Impeachment Victory Great Achievement

 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Clinton said in a magazine article released on Sunday
 that acquittal in his impeachment trial was one of the "great achievements" of his presidency.

 "I still believe that two of the great achievements of my administration were facing down the
 government shutdowns in '95 and '96, and then facing down this (impeachment),"
 Clinton was quoted as saying in an article in The New Yorker magazine.

 The article was written by reporter Joe Klein, who wrote the novel "Primary Colors" about
 the presidential campaign of a thinly-disguised Clinton-type candidate. Klein held two lengthy
 interviews over the summer with the president for the article profiling Clinton's presidency,
 which ends in January.

 President Clinton also took the blame for the colossal failure of his administration's attempt,
 led by Mrs. Clinton, to overhaul the U.S. health care system in 1994.

 "She gets a total bum rap on this," Clinton said. "It was my mistake, not hers.
 All she did was what she was asked to do."

 In one of the few mentions of Al Gore, he is portrayed as an advocate for Clinton to sign
 controversial welfare reform legislation in 1996, which many liberal Democrats in and out
 of the White House opposed. "I think the system is fundamentally broken...It's worth the risk,"
 Gore is quoted as saying.


 Clinton counted among his regrets his handling of the fighting in Somalia in 1993, the failure of
 health care reform, and his 1994 request for the appointment of a special counsel to investigate
 his financial dealings, which led to the disclosure of the Monica affair and his impeachment.

 "What I regret ," Clinton said, "is asking for the special counsel."

 "I did it because I was exhausted, because I had just buried my mother, and because I had
 people in the White House who couldn't stand the heat and they suggested that I do it,
 that I had to do it," he said.

 The president said many Republicans refused to accept the presence of a Democratic president
 after a hold on power, interrupted for only four years, from 1969 to 1993.
 "They just never saw me as a legitimate person," he said.

 Clinton quotes an unnamed Republican senator as telling him during Senate Whitewater hearings
 that he did not believe the Clintons had acted improperly, but that the hearings were intended to
 "make people think you did something wrong."


 In the article, Clinton repeated his belief that he was defending the constitution in his Senate
 impeachment trial, in which he was acquitted in February, 1999. He said the twin victories
 in the showdown over government shutdowns and impeachment helped halt the conservative
 Republican advance led by former Newt Gingrich.

 "Those two things together essentially ended the most overt and extreme manifestations
 of the Gingrich revolution," Clinton said.

 Despite the trauma of the impeachment scandal, it also came as Clinton was realizing that his
 program of preparing the United States for an information-age economy was "all coming together."

 "I was really happy," he said.
 "I don't think any of us ever thought in '93 the economy would take off this way."

 The failure of health care reform helped trigger a Democratic loss of both houses
 of Congress in 1994 off-year elections.

 Clinton said he tried to do too much early in his presidency, a period that included NAFTA
 and his deficit reduction plan. "There's no way the system could digest the health care plan," he said.
 He also accused Bob Dole of blocking health care reform to further his own run at the presidency in 1996.

 On the 1993 Somalia debacle, in which 18 U.S. soldiers and hundreds of Somalis were killed in
 a fierce firefight, Clinton said, "I think I always will regret that. I don't know if I could have saved
 those lives or not...but I would have handled it in a different way if I'd had more experience. "

 He said he was following the advice of Colin Powell in allowing U.N. peacekeeping forces to
 try to capture faction leader Mohamed Farah Aideed. "And then Powell retired -- he left the
 next week," Clinton said. "I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying he was gone."

 "...and I did it all without any government help."

 Oh, really?

 That's not what the facts say, Mr. Cheney.

 Click  Here

 FBI Closing in on Karl Rove?

 Click  Here

 "You must be the devil.
   Nobody does that to Notre Dame"

 I told a true story in Volume 288 - The Dangerous Type,
 about a football bet I won both sides of in 1974 or 1975.
 Skisics did the heavy lifting and found the rest of the story.

 I might've been wrong about the halftime score.
 I might've been wrong about the final score.
 I might've been wrong about which side had the miracle comeback,
 but by Koresh, I won both sides of that bet.

 A shot of Chinaco to Skisics for the good detective work.

 House Manager Round-Up
 We need as many of these cock-obsessed losers as possible to lose.
 Rogan and McCollum are on the run, who else?

 Are you as disgusted with ol' Chalky Thighs as the rest of America?

 Click  Here

 He's a cock-obsessed House manager.
 He must be made into glue.

 Great She-Thing Quotes

 "How can a devout Catholic be a liberal?"
    -- Laura the Unloved Whore, 10/9/00, third hour

 We don't like to be crude, but there are times when a "Fuck you, bitch,"
 is the only proper response to a lying, bought-and-paid-for whore.
 This is one of those times.

 "Fuck you, bitch."

 You know I always prefer to take the high road,
 but there are times when plain-speaking is called for.

 From: Pajessb@aol.com

 Subject: I'm getting worried, Bartcop


     So, I just heard that Smirk and Gore are in a "Virtual Dead Heat"
 according to the latest polls (just heard it on the radio). I spoke with a
 friend of mine in Europe last night who tells me that people there are
 STAGGERED how such a moron like Smirk could have gotten THIS far.

    Gore better wipe the floor with Smirk on Wendesday.

    - PJ

 Isn't it exciting?!?!?

 Wednesday is the biggest day of Gore's life,
 the biggest day in the life of young Smirk, and
 the biggest day on  bartcop.com  ever!

 This is the BIG game!

 The good news?
 We are Oklahoma, Smirk is Texas.

 Hurry, Wednesday!
 Don't be late!

 ha ha

 Isn't it exciting?

 McCollum figures it out!

 Revenge factor in Senate race?
  House Manager McCollum accuses Clinton

 Full Story

 TALLAHASSEE, Fla., Oct. 6 — Senate candidate Bill McCollum (R-Prick House manager)
 accused President Clinton of fighting his campaign out of revenge for McCollum’s role
 in managing the president’s impeachment.

 ha ha
 Go, Bill!
 Use the BIG hammer, Bill.
 Use it until the blisters on your hands pop!

 McCollum was one of 13 Republican members of the House who acted as cock-hunters
 during the Senate trial of Clinton early last year.

 “With the exception of Hillary’s race, my defeat is Bill Clinton’s highest political priority,”
   the Orlando congressman wrote in a letter e-mailed this week to supporters.

 ha ha

 You ignorant bastard.
 You just now figured out there's a price to pay
  when you grab for the king's cock and miss?

 Guess what, ...yo time is up.
 Consider yourself lucky, Billy.

 Hillary wanted you beheaded.

 From: (withheld)

 Hey Bartcop check this out.

 ....in the mail today I recieved two checks from Judicial Watch for $1.50 each.
 Somehow I got on their mailing list (a joke by one of my GOPer friends no doubt)
 because in the past couple of months I have recieved about 5 requests to contribute
 to Larry's little witch hunt.  I didn't contribute but did put all the crap they sent me in
 their postage paid return envelope and sent it back to them on their dime each time.

 Now the idiot is sending me checks for $1.50.  I can only guess that they think I
 contributed to them and they are trying to get more.  I do the same thing with that
 Lazio moron (my friend gave them my name too) but so far I haven't recieved a
 check from Ricky, the cheap bastard.

 Love the site and damn near fell out of my chair when I heard Patrick from FL
 say "visit  bartcop.com " during Pigboy's little hatefest.


 Guest Editorial

 John Lennon is not 60 today

 Click  Here

 From: CRockeffeller@aol.com

 Oh for cryin' out loud.
 Shit all over the Temptations, but someone makes
 one slightly negative comment about Jimmy Page,
 doesn't call Page GOD, and you throw a hissy fit.

 We we in a bad mood when we wrote that?
 Don't you really mean the Four Tops?

 I never said everyone had to agree that Jimmy Page is God.
 You're entitled to whatever odd musical tastes you may have.
 But if someone says "Ted Nugent runs rings around Page,"
 sometimes I offer a spirited defense of the better player.

 Let's say for twenty years, you were half-interested in seeing Page,
 and one day you & the wife had a chance to see him for $100.

 So you pay your $100, and Page only played a one-hour show,
 and he spent the first 45 minutes playing songs you'd never heard of,
 and then he closed the show by playing Zeppelin's greatest hits in one
 eight-minute medley,  I'd expect to hear from you.
 I'd expect you to say that you were mighty disappointed.

 On this day in History...

 October 9, 1969 - Former radio talk-show king Rush Limbaugh was wounded in Vietnam
 while saving a soldier's life by dragging him behind a building during a firefight sixty miles north
 of Saigon. Limbaugh was awarded a Purple Heart for taking such heroic action, which was...

 Uh, ...wait,

 No, wait, ...I'm sorry that didn't happen.

 The giant cyst on Rush's ass, and a letter from his daddy the judge, got ol' Rusty a free ride
 out of that hamburger-making machine of death. Someone else, probably a young black man
 whose father wasn't a judge was drafted and had to go and possibly die in his place.


 Great Democratic Quotes

 "If you hear the dogs, keep on going.
   If you hear gunfire, keep on going.
   If you hear shots and footsteps, keep on going.

   I will not turn back no matter who is behind me,
   or what they're saying, or what they're doing.

   There is one thing you know about me:
   When I tell you, 'I'll stick with you,'  I'll stick with you."
     -- President, ..I mean Senator Hillary Clinton,

 From: KerryBrush@aol.com

 Subject: Paul Harvey


 Found this in the Bizarre News.
 I wonder if this is about ol' Paul when he was younger
 or just about one of his fans.


         Classic Bizarre Moments from the Archives

 Tucson, Ariz. - Police arrested a 41-year-old man who a witness said
 appeared to be trying to coax horses from the University of Arizona
 Agricultural Center toward him with food... Sounds harmless enough,
 but in reality the food was strategically placed near his exposed penis
 as if to invite oral sex. Police had warned the man previously against
 similar behavior.

 I have a witness, a previous Harvey victim named Mr Ed.
 Let me see if I can get him on the big screen.
 There he is, on the Pasture-cam.

 Mr Ed, does this crime resemble what Paul Harvey did to you?

 There you have it.
 This crime is not at all like Paul Harvey's assault on Mr Ed.

 Must be a different horse molester...

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