Volume 302 -The Lepers in Your Head

 October 19, 2000

 Spoiler Alert

 Click Here  if you want to read Jake Tapper's column
 on what Letterman did to Smirk Tuesday night..

 Clue: For the first time in 20 months, Bush had to answer some questions.
 The whore press has laid down so much for this moron, it fell to Letterman
 to get past the smary smirk and make him give up some answers.

 Thanks to Bruce and Melic for the tip.


 Today, Smirk taped a segment for SNL.

 First reports are in (7:30 CDT) about the Letterman appearance.
 Details were sketchy, but first word is the Smirk camp is PISSED!

 What did Dave do to Smirk?

 ha ha

 Early word is - Dave stayed in serious mode
 and wouldn't let Smirk be the funny cut-up.

 That's why the Bush people are pissed.


 Dear Christian,

 Now, I'm only telling you this, so don't go e-mailing that Bartcop feller, okay?
 (That was kind of a mean joke I played on him.)

 But the Mets in seven.

 Got it.  Get it.  I'm gone.

 Sincerely,
 God


 Someone sent this

 1800  1 vote gives Thomas Jefferson the presidency over Aaron Burr
 1839  1 vote wins the Massachusetts governorship for Marcus Morton
 1868  1 vote saves Andrew Johnson's presidency
 1941  1 vote strengthens selective service before World War II
 1960  1 vote per precinct gives JFK the presidency
 1993  1 vote by Al Gore gave us the greatest economy in history
 2000  1 vote, your vote, can make the difference November 7th

 If you don't vote Nov 7, Bush is deader than Ted Bundy.


 Proof - what I was talking about earlier today...


 Great Smirk Quotes

 "California's going to be a big surprise."


 Can U2's Bono Convince Jesse Helms to Resign His Seat?
 The Hill, October 11, 2000

 Jesse Helms (R-Caveman), declaring that he's become dispirited by an
 increasingly gridlocked Senate and the waning strength of the
 conservative movement, says he is ready to quit the Senate and work
 to help combat Third World poverty "if the Lord would show me how."

 Helms said he was deeply impressed by a meeting with U2's Bono,
 who lobbied for Third World debt relief on Capitol Hill last week.

 "I told him this, and I mean it, if I can find some way that the Lord would
  show me how to really help these people, I'd quit the Senate and try to do it.
  I told Bono that.
  He is working hard and I'm going to try to help him the best I can."

 In a wide-ranging interview on the eve of his 79th birthday, the conservative
 bastard also said while he said his health is "very good," he conceded that a
 nerve condition "that I can't even pronounce" has left him without feeling in
 his feet and affected his balance, requiring him to use a walker.

Helms said he was deeply moved by a meeting Bono, who visited Capitol Hill
recently to lobby for Third World debt relief.

"Well, I never heard of him, but the guy is impressive," Helms said of Bono,
whom he called "Sonny Bono" before correcting himself. "The thing that
impressed me is he is a deeply religious man. ... He is here to sincerely
get something going to feed the starving children in Africa."
 

 So, ... I think we should all buy the new U2 CD.

 If it was crap music, I wouldn't suggest that, but it's gonna rock
 and Bono has the biggest heart of any rocker since John Lennon.


 

 Bono makes Helms cry like Bob Dole at Nixon's funeral


       The Popular Pariah
               By MAUREEN DOWD

         WASHINGTON -- Al Gore has said he would consider putting a
          24-hour-a-day Webcam, or Alcam, in the Oval Office.

          Tipper, of course, immediately intimated to friends, with her sly,
          our- love-life-is-groovy smile, that there would be times when that
          Webcam would have to be turned off.

          But this just proves you can never get a Webcam where you want one.

          I have zero desire to see President Gore round the clock, putting comely
          interns to sleep with charts and lectures on gaseous reduction.

          On the other hand, I would have loved to have a Webcam trained on Bill
          Clinton during the debates.

          I wonder if the president, who is a pariah in his own vice president's
          campaign, chewed on his cigar and shouted comebacks at the screen as
          the Three Faces of Al flickered.

          What an exquisite dilemma for a man who always wants things both ways!
          He needs his partner to excel so that Al can defeat W. and secure Mr. Clinton's
          legacy. But if Mr. Gore falls short, Mr. Clinton can comfort himself with the
          belief that "if only I were out there, the election would be over. I'm still the best.
          If you find a turtle on a fencepost, it didn't get there by accident."

          Mr. Clinton, some close to him say, is bewildered and hurt by the way
          Mr. Gore keeps erasing him from his White House photo album. The president
          thinks Mr. Gore should run as his vice president, bragging on their record of
          economic growth, welfare reform and fiscal (if not personal) discipline.

          I would much rather have the master pol's debate commentary than those
          "doofus-heavy focus groups assembled by the networks," as The
          Washington Post's TV critic Tom Shales calls them, which deemed the
          governor more specific and straightforward than the vice president even
          when W. was offering generic and incoherent bromides.

          As W. bit the inside of his lip and looked hunched, vacant and played-out,
          you just had an image of a head full of sawdust as he sniffled, snorted and sifted
          through his brain trying to remember if the situation called for "I trust people,
          not government" or "Leave no child behind" or "The partisan bickering has to stop"
          or "Governors lead. That's what we do."

          In a 1996 debate with Bob Dole, Mr. Clinton used sidling and staring to
          intimidate his rival. Mr. Gore attempted the same maneuver Tuesday.
          Lithe as a lawn mower, subtle as a subpoena, Alpha Al clomped right up
          beside Mr. Bush, who rewarded him with a disdainful double take that brought
          chuckles from the crowd. Mr. Gore kept right on striding up to the crowd,
          like an Olympic diver about to do a three-and-a-half-somersault pike.

          Mr. Gore's points often had a subtext of tattling. He said his four children
          had come to the debate. (W.'s didn't, nyah, nyah!) He said he had gone
          to Vietnam, even though there were "fancy ways to get out of going."
          (W.  got a cushy spot in the Texas Air National Guard, nyah, nyah!)
          He had "not spent the last quarter-century in pursuit of personal wealth."
          (W. was using family connections to get rich, nyah, nyah!)

          Mr. Gore's erratic and sometimes arrogant debate demeanor, which has
          caused some Gore focus groups to violently turn on the Democratic
          nominee, has surely confirmed Mr. Clinton's belief, which he once
          confided to a friend, that Al would have been happier in academia.

          After being slighted by the Gorites, the president would certainly be
          gratified to see them come beg him for an 11th-hour rescue to do
          last- minute stumping with minorities and in hard-fought states.

          But Mr. Gore, who has not appeared publicly with the president since
          their awkward passing of the torch in Monroe, Mich., two months ago,
          resents Mr. Clinton so much he might rather lose than reattach himself.
          He has paid all the dues he intends to. He frets over polls that show
          lingering anger at Mr. Clinton that might drag him down.

          Mr. Gore cannot even bring himself to use the word "Clinton." In the
          debate, he was boasting of his role in planning "the president's" summit
          meeting in the Mideast. He caught himself using the "P" word and you
          could practically hear the klaxon go off as he switched to praising the
          great job of "our country's team."

          Can you imagine what the puffy- eyed Mr. Clinton, back (via a fund-
          raiser and a golf banquet) from 20 meetings that consumed 24 of 28
          hours at an Egyptian golf resort where he did not even get to golf, must
          have howled at the TV at that point?

          "Our TEAM? Oh, man, that is wrooong."


 Rush enjoying a goat's company


 Back in the Saddle

 After a 34-month layoff, I'm back in court tomorrow!

 Some idiot judge in February of 98 decided off the top of his head
 that trials involving "assigned contracts" were no longer going to be
 tried in his court, and he kicked every damn one to circuit court
 which requires a real, certified on-the-roster attorney to prosecute.

 I'll be prosecuting a young man who's not convinced that signing
 a contract means anything these days. I'm going to shamelessly use
 the phrase "the Rule of Law" and watch the judge's eyebrows to decide
 if he's a ditto-monkey or not. If the judge is a liberal, I may be in trouble
 because the guy I'm suing is a blank slate. I hope the judge doesn't feel
 like the defendant is in over his head - sometimes that happens and the
 idiot judge turns into the defendant's defense lawyer, which isn't cool.

 It's in the archives somewhere, but I once had a judge look at me and say,
"So, what do you want me to do?" after I won a judgment and I had to bite
 my tongue to prevent saying, "I want you to act like a goddamn judge and
order this broke-ass, contract-breaking weasel's wages garnished, Your Honor."

 I will have to skillfully straddle the fence tomorrow, because I'll be testifying
 to that which I have no direct knowledge. I figure as long as I use words
 like "we," the judge might not ask who "we" are.

 The kicker?

 The defendant will be under oath, but not Ol' BartCop!

 ha ha

 Can you believe that?
 What a nutty system.

 It's my word against his, and he's under oath and never been in a courtroom before,
 and I may be rusty but I've got at least 300 trials under my belt, and I get to...well,
 I won't use the word "lie," but let's say I'll be Clinton-esque in my testimony!

 ha ha

 The poor bastard-thief doesn't know what questions the judge will ask
 but I could almost write the judge's script today.

 To make a good story better, the boss is going to Vegas tomorrow,
 (sniff) so I should be here with the blow-by-blow early!

 Wish me luck - chortle!


              Al should beware the Trojan Horse
                      by  GENE LYONS

                  In predicting an inevitable win by Al Gore at the polls next month, we made
                  two big assumptions.
                      One, that Gore and Joe Lieberman would expose George W. Bush's
                  Trojan Horse candidacy by taking apart his fraudulent promises on key
                  issues like tax fairness, Social Security and Medicare.
                      Second, despite its obvious determination to revenge itself on Bill Clinton
                  by defeating Gore, the Washington press clique would have no choice but to
                  report what the candidates were actually saying and doing during the campaign.

                      To date, we've been wrong on both counts. Partly due to Gore's
                  inexplicable failure to confront relentless attacks on his credibility, standards
                  of accuracy and fairness in the media have sunk to depths unrivaled since the
                  "yellow journalism" of the Spanish-American War.
                      The clique has shamelessly taken sides. Bush can get away with almost
                  anything. The press ignores his blatant howlers while endlessly hyping trivial
                  tales about Gore. It's gotten so bad that reporters and pundits feel free to
                  falsify even their own previously published accounts.

                      Think we're exaggerating? Check out New York Times reporter Melinda
                  Hennenberger's Oct. 15 "Week in Review" article on Gore's "compulsion to
                  exaggerate." Yeah, another one. Near the top, she quotes Gore's former
                  editor at the Nashville Tennessean saying, "He's just said he invented the
                  Internet and he and Tipper were the models for 'Love Story.' He ought to be
                  more careful." Hennenberger and her editors know both allegations are
                  nonsense. But to preserve what Nixon called "plausible deniability," they put
                  them in somebody else's mouth.

                      Bush to the contrary, Gore never said he "invented" the Internet. Partly
                  because CNN has a videotape of what he did say, all but the most cynical
                  party hacks have dropped it. Amazingly, Hennenberger's own reporting
                  disproved the "Love Story" humbug in the Times on Dec. 14, 1997. Her
                  article quoted author Erich Segal saying that something Gore had seen in,
                  yes, The Tennessean, was only half right. The novel's hero was based on
                  him and Tommy Lee Jones. But the heroine wasn't based on Tipper. The
                  Tennessean had gotten that wrong. So how can Hennenberger now turn it
                  upside down? How can her editors let her?

                      As ever, The Times sets the agenda for NPR and the TV networks.
                  Campaign advisers who say this stuff isn't hurting Gore are whistling past the
                  graveyard. It's flat killing him among voters gullible enough to believe what they
                  read and see on TV. Gore made things worse by apologizing at the end of the
                  second presidential debate for trivial misstatements he'd made during the first one.
                  Not only did he look weak, but he legitimized GOP-inspired media spin.

                      Bush, meanwhile, gets a free pass. By any rational standard, his debate
                  performance has betrayed shocking incompetence and/or dishonesty. But
                  pundits who lampooned Gore failed to notice that Bush couldn't accurately
                  describe his own prescription drug plan. After Gore pointed out that a
                  70-year-old couple with a $25,000 income would get no help whatsoever
                  under Bush's proposal, the Texan derided him for "trying to scare voters"
                  and "inventing the calculator." But Gore was right, as reporters for the Los
                  Angeles Times and Washington Post learned when they checked the Bush
                  Web site as he'd urged. Not that they made anything of it.
                      Gore made a trivial error about traveling with James Lee Witt, while
                  Bush brazenly falsified a matter of critical importance to millions of voters.
                  Yet it was Gore who ended up on the media hot seat for two weeks.

                      Nor was that the only example. Bush began the first debate by saying he'd
                  take "one-half of the surplus and dedicate it to Social Security, one-quarter
                  of the surplus for important projects, and I want to send one-quarter of the
                  surplus back to the people who pay the bills." In reality, his published
                  economic plan calls for a $1.3 trillion tax cut, mostly for millionaires, as
                  opposed to $475 billion in new spending. That's about $3 in tax cuts for
                  every $1 for Medicare, health care, education, national defense, etc. The
                  new spending is not one-fourth of the projected (and maybe imaginary) $4.6
                  trillion surplus, it's more like 10 percent. "Fuzzy math," indeed.
                      Things got worse during the second debate. With Gore sitting tight as if
                  the Manners Police had handcuffed him to his chair, Bush made all kinds of
                  absurd claims. He wrongly sentenced all three of James Byrd's killers to
                  death. He blamed the state Legislature for Texas' failure to sign up needy
                  kids for the Children's Health Insurance Program, although, unlike Gov.
                  Mike Huckabee, he'd fought to limit eligibility and stall implementation. He
                  chided NATO allies to do their bit in the Balkans, although they already
                  furnish 80 percent of peacekeeping forces. He called for the U.S. to bring
                  troops home from Haiti, although only a few remain. His TV ad campaign
                  consists of one big fuzzy misstatement after another.

                      Even so, the race is still Gore's to lose. He's got to forget about making
                  nice with the press clique. There's nothing he can say or do to get them off
                  his back. He needs to expose Bush's phony bipartisanship, attack his bogus
                  "reforms" and correct his make-believe arithmetic like the second coming of
                  Harry S Truman.
                      If he won't fight for himself, who does he think will fight for him?
                  He's got to make voters see what'll happen if they let the Trojan Horse inside
                  the gates and Phil Gramm, Tom DeLay and the rest of the right-wing warriors
                  come clambering out of its belly.

                        Gene Lyons is a Little Rock author and recipient of the National
                        Magazine Award. His column appears on Wednesdays.



 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Everyday since Clinton took office:
 Clinton is always trying to take credit for the stock market.
 It's not about you, Mr Clinton. The credit belongs to the hard-working
 American people, not you. The president doesn't really have much of
 an effect on Wall Street anyway, any first-year econ student knows that.

 Today:
 The blame for the stock market "crash" lies squarely on the shoulders
 of Bill Clinton. The president and his wacko-failed policies have driven
 the market to it's lowest levels in decades because he doesn't know how
 to manage this new economy. He doesn't have a clue about what he's doing.
 That's why we need to elect a man with vision like George W Bush.


 Oh, how stupid!

 On GMA, Smirk's momma criticized Gore for his aggressive stand
 during the third debate with her idiot son.

``I thought he was going to hit George. It sort of scared me.''

 If only...


 Gore in Top Form

 Click  Here


From: http://www.geocities.com/pearly1204/


 Molly Ivins - Long ball hitter

 Click  Here



 From: Patrick  val4522@hotmail.com

 Subject: Rush is gay

 Pigboy has spent the last 8 years obsessing about Clinton's cock.
 He has never fathered a child.
 His difficulties in sustaining marriages are well documented.

 As he indicated when I made the infamous "visit bartcop.com"
 call to his show, he thinks Rick Lazio is better looking than Hillary Clinton
 ("You've gotta look past this heterosexual stuff, folks!").

 Now he's just spent the entire first hour of today's show talking about Al Gore's cock.
 I'm convinced.
 Rush is gay.

 Patrick

 ha ha

 I'll bet that distresses our gay brothers and sisters, but I see your point.
 I wonder if he & Tim ever get together with a roll of paper towels
 and "kick around" the subject?



 

 ha ha


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Even tho I've spent the last three hours talking about Gore's cock,
 you can't blame me for lowering the tone of this presidential campaign.
 For that, you have to blame "The View" on ABC.

 No, you can't blame me for talking about Gore's cock.
 I HAD to spend these last three hours on Gore's cock,
 because "The View" mentioned Gore's cock, so what choice do I have?

 I have to stay on Gore's cock or I'm not doing my job.
 I have to stay on Gore's cock, for as long as it takes.
 

 ...and since El Vulgo leads the Republicans in their never-ending cock hunt,
 it's only a matter of time before we see...

 Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock
 Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock
 Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock
 Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock
 Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock, Gore's cock


 Celebrity Mail

 From: rray@cockhunt.com

 Dear BartCop,

 Hillary gave "factually false" testimoney on Travelgate.
 But we can't prove that, but we know she did.

 Yes, we know she lied, but we can't prove it,
 so we're going to slur her reputation in the press.

 The press will print whatever we ask them to, so we're issuing
 headlines with "Hillary" and "big liar" in bold print to save face.
 Thank God for America's whore press.
 We've been leading them by the rings in their noses for years,
 especially that Tim Russert fella, he's the best we have.

 If Bill and Hillary would've confessed back when we accused them
 we wouldn't have to resort to such underhanded measures.

 Robert Ray,
 Vice Hardon
 

 I have a question:
 After Gore wins, if I'm put under oath and asked,
 "Did you have a role in electing Algore?"
 what is the factual, proper and accurate answer to that?

 I suppose it would be, "Yes," because it's possible than one person
 changed his mind after reading  bartcop.com  but can you imagine
 the hoots if I was famous and word got out that I made that claim?

 The headline would be, "BartCop claims Gore victory."
 Do you see where I'm going?

 In they asked Hillary, "Did you have ANY ROLE AT ALL in the eventual
 decision to fire the nasty thieves in the Travel Office," the technically-correct
 answer would probably have been, "Yes," because if she said anything about it
 to anyone, she can't be 100 percent certain that her words weren't repeated
 or distorted or placed out of context and caused some further action later.

 If the question was, "Did you, personally, order them fired?"
 the answer would be, "No" but who knows what the cock-hunters asked?

 Sidebar:
 It drives Mrs. BC crazy watching a show like The Angie Harmon Show with me.
 Whenever a lawyer asks a witness on the stand a stupid or unfocused question,
 I answer it before the witness can in a completely-responsive manner that makes
 the idiot who asked the question look like a Smirk subsitute.

 One question on last night's show was,
 "What was the boy's mother thinking at the time?"
 as though the witness had the power to read fucking minds!

 I make no claim to be the only person who knows a stupid-ass question when
 I hear it, but you'd think attorneys would have the brains to not ask the most
 open-ended question when they have someone under oath.

 I remember when the House prick managers had Monica in the hot seat.
 Asa Hutchinson asked Monica, "What went thru your mind then?" and her
 answer should have been, "I was wondering how a ass-licking Nazi pig like you
 became a spokesman for the Party of Lincoln," and what could Asa do?

 Order her to not answer the question asked of her?
 Could Asa say for a fact that that was NOT what was on her mind then?

 Swear to Koresh, if Lindsey Graham or Henry Hyde or Asa ever gets me
 under oath and asks what my thought are, the sons of bitches are going to
 hear EXACTLY what my thoughts are at the time, and I hope it's on tape.

 In closing, (applause) the motherless goatfuckers of the cock-hunting GOP
 have nothing but a willing, whore press, ready to print every fabricated lie
 that the Hardon Squad can dream up - but - we'll get even.

 Hillary will win her Senate race, Gore will be president, we'll take back the House
 and the GOP will be left with nothing but the memory of their failed cock hunt.

 Party of Lincoln?

 ha!

 Party of stinkin' is more like it.


 The new U2 CD comes out on October 31st.

 I think every liberal and every Democrat and every opponent of lung cancer
 should buy this CD because we owe it to Bono.

 I lost the story, and that's a shame because it was too good to be true,
 but the news story I read said Jesse Helms (R-Race-Bastard) would consider
 resigning from the Senate if Bono could help him become a spokesman
 for third-world debt relief, or something like that.

 I know it sounds crazier than President Dornan, but that's what I read.

 Maybe it was a hoax, maybe my tumor kicked back in,
 but that's what I read, and any goddamn thing short of assassination
 that would retire Helms the Heartless is a good thing,

 Shot of Chinaco for the finder of the Bono/Helms story.


 Has anyone else installed Windows ME?

 My boss asked me to install ME on my computer here at work,
 and it wiped out my Eudora mailbox.

 Now I can only get  bartcop.com  mail at BartCop manor.
 When I signed back up for Eudora mail,
 it says there is no more ctyme.com, which Perkel used to re-route
 the mail overflow from bartcop.com and mindspring.com

 Bill Gates strikes again.

 After I installed ME, it re-did everything.
 My fonts changed.
 The folders in Explorer changed.
 It substituted whatever Gates wanted for all my entension associations.
 Whenever I hit a JPG file I get Gates in my face.
 Whenever I hit a TXT or DOC file, I get Gates in my face.
 Whenever I hit an audio file, you guessed it - more Gates.
 It won't let me do what I want, I can only do what Gates wants.

 Prick.

 Why couldn't you give us an option, Bill?
 You just have to control everything, don't you?
 What happened to those thousands of e-mails, Bill?
 Why did you disable my mailbox, Mr Greed?

 The son of a bitch wants to take over the world, that's a fact.
 One day, a Windows "upgrade" will connect you ONLY to msn.com.
 This is bullshit.

 Reno needs to break you up sooner rather than later, Bill.


 I still can't get over the pounding the President put on Doc Harpy last night.
 (Hear it - below)

 That is what's known as the BIG hammer.
 I wonder if he wouldn't loan that BIG hammer to Gore to use on Smirky?

 Since the She-Thing runs on tape-delay, (to edit out the non-worship calls)
 she can't react to it until Friday's show - will she take the bait?

 ha ha

 One thing, they gave her a break on the actress who played Harpy.
 The actress was 15-20 years younger than The Shrew, had no turkey neck,
 and was considerably more attractive than the actual Screech.

 Wasn't the best part the very end?
 The lying whore is definitely guilty on the hide-behind-the-Bible
 and attack-minorities-for-big-bucks crimes, but when Bartlet explained
 proper etiquitte to the scumbaggette, it fit her like a leather swastika.

 If you haven't heard that yet, you're in for a treat.


 Great Republican Quotes

 "He's got to begin hitting Gore where Gore's vulnerable;
  the big spending, possibly doubling the size of government.

  He's got to come out swinging like a fighter.
  And if he doesn't do it, if he continues this sort of,
  be-nice sort of approach, I think he's going to lose."
    -- Pat Robertson,  Smirk's Secretary of "Education"


 by JennyQ1@aol.com


 Lt. Bush Was Too Drunk to Fly! (Critics Claim)
  10/24/00 issue:

 (Campaign Scandals 2000 Series)

 Shocking medical reports documenting that George W. Bush was often
 'too drunk to fly' when he was in the Texas Air National Guard are set
 to be released in an effort to destroy his presidential hopes, a source confides.

 The young Lieutenant was a big drinker and if he had been suddenly called
 to duty, he would not have been allowed in the cockpit, it is claimed.

 The reports, experts agree, are a potential bombshell that could derail the Bush campaign.

 "If genuine, they are absolute dynamite," forecasts one insider.
 "They appear to show that while other guys his age were dying in Vietnam,
  George W. was partying like crazy in Houston.

 If he had been called to fly on several occasions, he wouldn't have been able to
 because of alcohol consumption and hangovers."

 The papers have been gathered by renegade Democrats, who are furious at
 Gore's decision not to launch any personal attacks on his opponent, says a source.
 Gov. Bush has made a stunning recovery in polls, that now show the two candidates
 are running neck-and-neck. The rogue Democrats believe it will take a scintillating
 scandal such as this one to end his momentum.

 The Texan is already under fire over how he got into the Guard - and how he
 appeared to go AWOL halfway through his service. Critics have charged that
 Bush only enlisted to keep from being sent to Vietnam.
 According to sources, he was assigned to a squad nicknamed the Champagne Unit
 and turned into a wild party animal.

 "The group aiming to derail Bush say they have gathered detailed evidence
 about several lost weekends," reveals the insider. "They allege that W and
 his best buddy regularly took off down to Mexico, spending days drinking
 tequila and chasing local girls. When they got back on base, they were
 too blasted to fly when they arrived and still unfit the next day."

 In checking if Bush had been unable to fly because of drinking, GLOBE spoke
 to a well-placed source in Texas familiar with the governor's service.

 He confirmed that Bush's flying experience with the National Guard in Texas
 ended after he refused to take a medical exam.

 "It was a mandatory physical, but he refused to take it," said the source.
 "Presumably he was concerned about what it would show.
  It meant he forfeited his pilot's license and could not be a pilot any longer."

 Instead, the future governor applied to switch his service to the Alabama
 National Guard, in a non-flying "paper-shuffling" role. But according to
 numerous sources, including the man who would have been his commander,
 Bush never even showed up for duty.

 "George W.'s military service is a developing scandal," adds the insider.
 "If the 'too drunk to fly' records are released and prove genuine,
  then his goose is cooked."


 ...just savoring that last sentence...



 The Ignorant Tight-Ass Club

 Tonight's West Wing had a little surprise for Dr Laura.

 The first 40 minutes set up the storyline that the entire White House staff
 was still dealing with the emotional aftermath of the shootings.
 Maybe that explains what the president said?

 Towards the end, President Bartlet is at a party at the White House,
 perhaps drinks are being served, and the guests are talk radio DJs.
 I looked for Pigboy first, but tonight they had a bigger whale to fry.

 Dr. Jenna Jacobs!

 Click  Here  to hear the Real Audio file,  1.7 Meg

 Click  Here  to download the MP3,  only 900K, and better quality.
 

 That's a good show...


From: Marion Delgado

 Comments:: You are a koward!
 also you stole my fact that Clinton and his wife Bill
 are guilty of Lincolns bedroom and that al Gore invented the internet.
 but you koward refuse to admit that hillary dyketon is ALSO guilty of travel office!
 

 Y'know this is funny stuff - until you realize he's probably not kidding,
 and he's on the side that owns most of the guns.

 This guy obviously can't spell, capitalize or achieve an independent thought,
 but I'll bet he can assemble and load an AK-47 in the dark in less than sixty seconds.

 Maybe some anti-gun person could explain to me why the liberals in this country
 should not own at least one gun each?


 Dave had a good one

 "In last night's debate, Algore got a little too close to Bush,
   and got up on his face, so Bush threatened him with a lethal injection."



 Remember Dane Strother? (below)

 He answered today's e-mail.

 From: Dane Strother

 Subject: Re: Are you as crazy as Rush says?

 He's lying.
 I have no idea where he got this garbage.
 Gore obviously won the first and third debates.
 I'll clear this up on Thursday.
 

 Dane is outraged that Rush lied about what he said.
 Good for you, Dane.

 I told Dane his relative obscurity leant credibility to the charge.
 If Rush was going to lie, why not pick a more familiar Democrat?
 Who knows what that crazy Nazi will do in his final stages of syphillis?

 I wonder what, "I'll clear this up on Thursday" means?
 Sounds like Dane might have a column or a web page.

 Thanks for clearing that up, Dane.
 And if you end up suing Rush, could you drag me into it?
 I'd sure like to get that son of a bitch under oath.


                  I cannot afford an 18-year mistake

                      As the race for president enters its final days I find it interesting that
                      George W. Bush is praising the Clinton administration for the U.S.
                      economic boom while at the same time warning us that Gore's policies
                      will doom the American economy. I find it very interesting that Bush
                      thinks so highly of the present administration yet in the same breath
                      condemns the Clinton and Gore policies.

                      Is Bush confused or do his statements reflect his waffling indecision on
                      the issues before him?

                      Many of my neighbors and I would benefit greatly from Bush's
                      narrow-minded policies, but I'm afraid that our children would not fare
                      as well and their burdens would become ours, negating any gains and
                      prosperity brought about by the Clinton-Gore administration. In other
                      words, we would lose as well.

                      I well remember the final days of the Carter administration when the
                      Reagan-Bush team were warning us about the heated-up economy and
                      how it should be slowed down to let us re-group, so to speak. We
                      bought the message and the economy did slow down to the point of
                      stagnation and devastation and it took 18 years to crank it back up.

                      I'm 60 years old and cannot afford another 18-year mistake. Can you?
 

                      JOE THOMPSON
                      Picayune
                      bradycm@datasync.com


 Does anyone have a better batting average than  Joe Conason?
 This time, he beats up on poor, poor Smirk.

 Click  Here



 Great Moron Quotes

"If affirmative action means quotas, I'm against it.
  If it means what I'm for, then I'm for it."
     -- Smirk o de Smirk
 

 Would somebody please tell the Governor what his position is
 on Affirmative Action so he can remember if he's for it or not?


 Don't Forget the Smoking Jet

 Click  Here




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