Volume 306 - The Stupidity Issue

  October 24, 2000

 Quick Reminder

 Larry Flynt was right about Bob Livingston cheating on his wife.
 Larry Flynt was right about Bob Barr's secret abortion.
 Larry Flynt was right about Dan Burton's secret bastard.
 Larry Flynt was right about Henry Hyde breaking up his mistress's marriage.
 Larry Flynt was right about Newt Gingrich's secret girlfriend.
 Larry Flynt was right about Pat Boone raping that shoe box.
 Larry Flynt was right about every damn claim he ever made.

 But the ditto-monkeys say, "He's no Matt Drudge."

 Drudge was wrong about Sid Bluementhal beating his wife.
 Drudge was wrong about Clinton fathering the black baby.
 Drudge was wrong about the secret service catching Clinton.
 Drudge was wrong about all those anti-Clinton books that he
    guaranteed "would bust Washington DC wide open."

 This time, they are correct.

 So when Larry Flynt says he has "proof" Smirk paid for an abortion,
 how can you bet against the man who's never been wrong?

 General Motors - Porn Kings?

 Click  Here

 The General Motors Corporation, the world's largest company, now sells
 more graphic sex films every year than does Larry Flynt, owner of the
 Hustler empire. The 8.7 million Americans who subscribe to DirecTV, a
 General Motors subsidiary, buy nearly $200 million a year in
 pay-per-view sex films from satellite, according to estimates provided by
 distributors of the films, estimates the company did not dispute.

 From:  sagruber@att.com


Subject: Kindly drop out of the Race

 Mr. Nader,  while your crusading for the consumer has been very honorable,
 your campaign and rhetoric towards the Democratic nominee is having the
 effect of making you a hypocrite.  You are helping the cause of a giant
 corporation bought candidate and enemy to the environment.  Democracy is
 made up of many compromises, and at least Al Gore will, at least, do his
 best to protect the environment, influence campaign finance reform and
 take on big interests.  If you take enough of his vote, you will have effectively
 help elect someone who will NOT do ANY of those things.

 Scott Gruber

 Scott, good point.
 The one thing the nuns taught me that stuck was the math.
 If Gore loses by 3 percent, and Nader gets 5 percent, Nader will have been
 the best friend Big Oil, Big Business and Big Pollution ever had.

 Is that even arguable?

 Do me this favor...

 Help the NFL fight breast cancer. Log on to NFL.com on Tuesday,
 Oct. 24, the NFL's Breast Cancer Awareness Day, and visit NFL For Her.
 The NFL will donate $5 for every page view, up to $50,000,
 to the Komen Foundation to prevent breast cancer.

 Log on to make a difference!


 Click on that, it just takes a second and it'll do some good.

 The Stupidity Issue
    by Michael Kinsley

 Click  Here

 ha ha

 Trudeau would trade Jane Pauley for a Smirk administration.

 In my broken bone rant from last night (see below) I forgot to mention
 Lauren Hutton, who just had a real serious motorcycle wreck.
 I know what it's like to have broken bones.

 Possibly the world's first supermodel, I never really had the hots for Lauren
 but I always respected her "I'm getting older and fuck you if you don't like it,"
 attitude that I think raised the bar and helped all women everywhere.

 She had surgery on her right leg today, a leg that's more broken than
 Smirk's dreams of sitting behind the most important desk on the planet.
 She also has a broken sternum, which means she won't breathe without pain
 until President Gore's second year in office, plus a bunch of minor ailments
 like a broken wrist and a Troy Acheman, and assorted shit everywhere.

 Hang in there, girl.
 When you feel pain, hit the nurse's button.
 If they say, "Hold on, we're changing shifts,"
 you tell them "fuck that, I'm in pain!"

 And look at the bright side,
 ...at least you're not Gary Busey.

 Great Part-Negro Hairlip Quotes


"If she wins and Al Gore loses, Hillary Clinton will become the instant
 front-runner for the Democratic Party's Presidential nomination in 2004.
 In other words, if we fail to stop Hillary now,
 it will be much harder to stop her later. "
   -- Urgent letter from Rep. Bob Barr (R-Admitted Baby-Killer)

 ...sounds like a good reason to vote for Algore.

 This Just In...

 NRA opens branch office in Glandale, AZ


 How To Be A Good Republican
   By: Ann Richards

  1.  You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was
        due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's
        gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

  2.  You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve
        success all on their own.

  3.  You have to be against all government programs,
        but you expect Social Security checks on time.

  4.  You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers
       with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

  5.  You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

  6.  You have to believe... everything Rush Limbaugh says.

  7.  You believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries
        can survive without immigrant labor.

  8.  You believe God hates homosexuality, and loves the death penalty.

  9.  You believe growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities,
        but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You believe in prayer in schools,
       as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were faithful husbands.

13. You believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You're against government interference in business,
       until your oil company, corporation or S & Loan is about to go broke,
       then you beg for a government bail out.

16. You believe Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You believe government has nothing to do with providing
       police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades
       will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

 Sent by Cecilia Flowers

 The Governor of Missouri says he will appoint Mel Carnahan's widow
 to the United States Senate if Carnaham posthumously wins.

 That sex pervert John Asscroft (R-I need more Monica details) is in trouble.

 Vote Carnahan November 7th

From:  hudson_todd@hotmail.com

Subject: WOOD radio


I was surprised to see you shilling for WOOD radio, the beacon of hate radio
for Bland Crapids, Michigan, my former hometown.  Not only do they have a
continious block of Whora, Horsefucker, Limba, Liddy, and Michael Reagan,
they also have some local nutjob that makes Michael DelGiorno look like a gay Unitarian.

Your Faithful Reader,


 A couple of times a day I get e-mail saying,
 "Did you hear Rush at 20 after the second hour when he said "X" and "Y?"
 I would much rather point people to the actual slurs, rather than try my best
 to quote them if I hear something in the car or when I'm not taping.
 There's a thing they use in court called, "best evidence."

 "Shilling" isn't the word I would use to describe finding a place on the web
 that has archived the lies and crimes against minorities by Laura and Pigboy.
 These transcripts can and will be used against them in the court of opinion.

 If that makes me a "shill" for hate radio,
 I guess I'll just have to accept that label as being part of the job.

 From: mrsjudyochristian@yahoo.com

 Subject:  Strangeness

  I just heard on the radio that the MUSLIMS endorsed Bush!
 Something VERY strange is going on.

 Judy O'Christian

 The outrageous behavior of the major media spreads to C-Span
      By Bev Conover   onlinejournal.com

 October 23, 2000 | With just a little more than two weeks before Election Day,
 the "big" news the major media are focused on is not the issues, but a photo of
 Al Gore on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

 And C-Span is the latest to obsess over it.

 Never mind that George W. Bush is aiming to start the mother of all wars. That his
 tax plan will put the country down the toilet economically. That his plan for Social
 Security is a crap shoot that will enrich Wall Street at the expense of the people.
 That his prescription drug plan will send people, with hats in hand, to welfare agencies
 to beg for help for the first four years and after that, cost them $6,000 a year before
 they can get help from the feds. That his education plan will wreck the public school
 system and have children learning nothing other than how to take tests.

 That his anti-affirmative action stand will put women and people of color in their place.
 That women will again have to seek dangerous back alley abortions. That his farm plan
 will make family farmers further captives to the Archer Daniel Midlands. That under his
 plan for energy exploration, the environment is toast. That stuff is just too difficult for the
 majors to deal with.

 And they'd really have to do some work to investigate Bush's military record, the reason
 why he obtained a new Texas driver's license, and whether there is any foundation to the
 rumors about drug use, alcohol abuse or if he aided a former girlfriend in getting an abortion,
 and if he did so at a time when abortions were illegal.

 It is much easier to spread and make up lies about Al Gore.
 You know, Big Bad Al, the liar, the exaggerator make that "serial exaggerator"
  the embellisher; Big Bad Al, the mental case; Big Bad Al, who doesn't know who he is.

 And when those who have done their homework such as Martin Heldt and Robert Rogers
 did with the AWOL story, and we did with the new Texas driver's license story, and Larry
 Flynt has done with the abortion story and try to deliver it to them on a silver platter,
 it's kill the messenger time. Not only kill the messenger, as George magazine and Salon tried
 to do, but distort the facts and cook the documents, and, in the case of CNN, exercise
 censorship to send the nastiness down the Memory Hole, or, in the case of Linda L. Starr
 and yours truly, simply pretend that we and what we found don't exist.

 Never mind that the Democratic National Committee's New York office was burglarized.
 Never mind that, until caught, reporters traveling with the Bush campaign were having their
 mail intercepted by the Bush people and, if it came from the Karen Hughes said they were
 under no obligation to deliver mail from Gore. Never mind that George W. has a 15-minute
 attention span, is hard-pressed to utter an intelligible sentence or has no physical stamina.
 We certainly don't expect the overpaid, over-coiffed celebrity press corps to expend
 some effort to make a big deal out of this stuff.

 Why make a big deal over National Rifle Association President Charlton Heston's remark:

  "Now, [Al Gore is] saying 'I'm with you guys on guns.'
    In any other time or place you'd be looking for a lynching mob."

    The crowd responded with "let's do it" and "I've got a rope."
  -- The Grand Rapids Press, October 17, 2000 quoting NRA president
       Charlton Heston and describing audience reaction.

 If anyone else, other than Moses Heston, exercised his right of free speech in that manner,
 he would be taken into custody and have much explaining to do about his threat to harm
 or calling for others to harm a presidential candidate, plus authorities would consider it
 doubly threatening because the candidate is also the vice president. But who cares?
 Neither the authorities not the major media.

 Hell, it was only Al Gore who was the target (forgive the pun) of Heston's and his
 followers' remarks. Of course, if someone on the other side who matches Heston in
 prominence suggested George W. Bush should be lynched, that would be an entirely
 different story undoubtedly topping the nightly news on TV and splashed above the
 front page fold of the newspapers.

 The majors are doing everything in their power to get George W. elected.
 He's great for their pocketbooks and they have a score to settle with the people for
 not doing their bidding in kicking Bill Clinton out of office. So this also explains why
 they aren't even questioning just questioning,  not going to Wyoming and Texas
  whether Dick Cheney meets the residency requirements set forth in the Constitution.

 Dallas attorney Robert Dennis says it appears that Cheney, should he and Bush be
 elected, has a problem under the Twelfth Amendment and Wyoming law. Shoot,
 they can turn a blind eye to that, too, and, with a little help from Bush's friends,
 perhaps get the Texas electors to do likewise should the Bush/Cheney ticket be elected.
 Most folks don't understand the beauty of the Electoral College anyway and are apt
 not to pay attention. Why worry about a possible constitutional crisis?

 So why tip the apple cart by making a big deal of all these things or pointing out Bush's
 Texas record, something else that is all documented for them if they bothered to look?
 Hey, it's no big deal that George W., as a kid, liked to stick firecrackers in frogs and
 watch them explode. From the reported comments of his childhood buddies that was big
 sport among Texas boys. They surely wouldn't want to disparage those "family values"
 Poppy and Ma Bush instilled in their shrubs... offspring.

 It's easier and safer to pick on Big Bad Al, bury the Bush record and, as some us suspect,
 even skew the polls to confuse people. Claim Bush is leading and those who want to go
 with a "winner" will jump on his bandwagon, right?

 But as we come down to the wire and all the Big Bad Al stuff is wearing thin, the majors
 have found a new meaningless goody to seize upon. It's Gore's photo on the cover of
 Rolling Stone. And what is it about the photo?
 Look! Look! Look at the size of Big Bad Al's package!

 Bizarre? Yes.
 Disgusting? Absolutely.
 This round of madness was touched off by none other than that paragon of pseudo journalism
 Matt Drudge, who displayed the cover on his web site and wrote in his Oct. 18  Drudge Report:

 Publishers row was stunned late Wednesday after it was revealed how
 ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE had air-brushed Al Gore's crotch region
 in a jaw dropping cover spread in it's Nov. 9th issue.

 If that isn't enough to turn your stomach, Drudge tried to give his latest bit of
 salacious garbage validity by writing:

 ROLLING STONE editor in chief Jann Wenner had no comment on a report
 from the online service INSIDE.COM which first detailed the Gore photo shoot.
 Gore's protruding portrait actually had to be brought down a bit, according
 magazine insiders.  The khaki-clad Gore appeared erect in the original photos
 which were later modified.

 We understand that Drudge has his fantasies, which undoubtedly are shared by
 Rush Limbaugh, who made great sport of what the photo purportedly shows.
 Such manure coming from this foul pair is hardly surprising, but when it is picked up
 and spread by the majors' self-appointed priestly caste the latest being C-Span
it is outrageous.

 Just what does the photo show? For those of you who haven't seen it, we are
 exhibiting it here under the fair use provision of the copyright laws.

 We see Al Gore clad in a pair of what appears to be khaki corduroy trousers, in a
 poorly lighted photo that emphasizes the nap of the fabric that is raised in several areas.
 If others think they see something else, so what? It would be great to have another
 president with some balls. Now go tell that to the children. Also tell the children that
 when it comes to pornographers, the major media beat Larry Flynt hands down.

 My Choice on November 7
 By James Higdon

 Click  Here

 Funny that Paul Begala would be taking these weeks off.

 Seems like his party could use him now...

A letter from President-Elect Bush

Dear Contributor
President Elect Bush needs your help selecting his cabinet officers.
Please, with your next contribution, send me your thoughts.

Here are the names of the finalists in consideration so far.
Some names appear twice, until we settle on our lineup.
If you have any suggestions, please send them with your next contribution.

Thanks for giving me this chance,


Attorney General - Larry Klayman
                              - Nancy Drew
                              - Rudy from Survivor

Sec of Agriculture - Helen Chenoweth, experience with beefcake, ...uh,  beef supply.
                               - Mallard Fillmore
                               - Wayne Andreas.

Sec of Commerce - Ben Stein
                              -  the "BE DIALIN, PEOPLE!!!" guy from QVC

Sec of Defense - Couldn't find any military men who'd work for a
                                    complete idiot, so what about Dick Cheney.
                          - Farrah Fawcett had some good kicks as an angel
                          - The Rock

Sec of Education - Fred Phelps
                             - Laura Schlessinger

Sec of Energy - Ted Nugent
                        - Chico "the bag man" Macocco
                        - David Arquette

Health & Human Services - fuck the poor

Housing and Urban development - Leona Helmsley
                                                        - whoever runs the colonias in TX
                                                        - Tracy Mayberry, Gore's tenent.
                                                        - The CEO of Frigidaire.

Sec of Interior - Matt Glavin
                         - President of Enron Oil.
                         - President of Exxon Oil
                         - President of BP-Amaco

Sec of Labor - Leona Helmsley
                      - Kathie Lee Gifford
                      - The Bush family maid
                      - Tony Soprano (on paper only)

Sec of Transportation - Ralph Nader, as payback for the 5% siphon

Sec of Treasury - Kneel Bush
                           - Wily brothers
                           - Raymond Patriarcha, of the Rhode Island mob
                           - Kneel Bush

Sec of Extermination and Elimination - Tom Delay  (Promised)

Sec of Intimidation - Dick Arney (Promised)

Sec of Vet Affairs - Ollie North
                               - Admiral Stockdale
                               - Capt. Crunch
                               - The Vulgar Pigboy

Sec of Screeching and Harping - Laura Schlessinger

head of the CIA - Colonel Flagg
                            - Ronald Reagan
                            - Donato Dalrymple

head of Immigration - Maryslesis Gonzales (promised)

head of the FBI - Mark Fuhrman
                           - Barbara Bush
                           - Charlton Heston
                           - Rudy Guilianni's whore

head of ATF - Wayne LaPierre (Promised)

Drug Czar - Whitney Houston
                  - Pat Summeral
                  - Jeb Bush
                  - Scott Weiland

head of FEMA - Timothy McVeigh
                          - Pickles Bush, who proved she can stay calm in a crisis
                          - Regis
                          - Vacant (Crisis? What Crisis?)

head of Council of Economic Advisors - Anna Nicole Smith
                                                                 - Jerry Falwell
                                                                 - Moe

head of FCC - Vulgar Pigboy
                      - Howard Stern
                      - Larry

head of EPA -  Joseph Hazelwood
                      - Earl Butts. If he's dead, even better
                      - Curly
                      - fuck the environment

head of Office Management and Budget - Newt Gingrich, they say when it
                         comes to money, he's tighter than Marie Osmond on prom night.

head of Small Business Admin - Bill Gates

US Trade Representative - Pat Buchanan
                                             - Ollie North (experience with overseas sales)
                                             - Smirk Daddy (experience with overseas sales)

Ambassador to the UN - Daniel Carver
                                       - Chevy Chase, as Gerald Ford
                                       - Jesse Helms

                                                     Hey, that's not funny.
                                                     Not one damn bit.
                                                     Because Helms could be true!!!!!
                                                     Koresh help us when he beats his shoe on the podium.

White House Chief of Staff - John Sununu
                                               - Lynn Cheney

head of the Republican National Committee - Lee Atwater

If you know of other qualified people I could use,
please send their names in immediately.


 There's a webpage that COULD be a Koresh-send

 http://www.woodradio.com/media/  keep an archive of Laura and Pigboy's
 last week of shows, which would be double-eggs-cellent (as Drudge might say)
 for hearing the ugly lies yourself - but the links are down!

 Try it and see if it works for you.
 When I try it, (both computers) the mouse turns off when it floats over the links,
 Does this happen for you, too?
 If so, write to those guys & tell them to fix it!

 This could be a helpful site if it works!

From: tboggioni@aswechange.com

Subject: Bush video

Has anyone out there managed to make a video file of the infamous
"Bush-cleaning-his-glasses-on-Letterman" film.
Sure would be fun to spam that around.

T Boggioni
San Diego


 Why won't the press give out the facts?

 Click  Here

 from  http://www.iknowwhatyoudidintexas.com/

From: dirosnic@unity.ncsu.edu

Subject: GoatFucker

That goat-fucking pic...
Bush is the fucker and CNN is his bitch.



Dittoes to that.

Funny, CNN wants him elected,
and Fox is fighting for Gore.

Both are shameless whores to the max.

From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com

Subject: Baseball

 You have no idea what you are missing. This area is in-fuckin-sane with
baseball fever. Saturday night's game was one of the best games I've
ever seen. I was in a bar of course. All the ginmills were packed. The
crowd was pretty evenly divided with Yankee fans and morons. Every time
a play was made half the crowd is yelling and half is booing. By the
11th, the place was screaming. If you took your eyes off the screen and
something happened, you'd hear cheers, but you still didn't know which
side they were cheering for. I can't think of another sporting event
where the crowd is for both sides.

 The Mets were beaten into a coma when they lost game 1. They were
sitting on the bench after the game, heads down, like they just lost the
series. Met fans don't want to hear any shit right now. The Clemens
thing is pretty funny. Met fans want him arrested for carrying a deadly
weapon and Yankee fans just say "Get some runs".

 I hope it goes seven. I want another Sat.night game.
Last weeks game almost went past closing time. Great nite.

You poor, delusional fella.
Baseball ended last week.

Tell your doctor you are seeing things
so he can adjust your medication.

 A good round-up of where we are right now.
 Highly recommend...

 Click Here  for the better, official Salon story with links

 Click Here  for the forever version.

 Clinton Won't Go

 Someone sent me a column, and I lost it, like most things, but it was written
 by a double-severe ditto-monkey and it was about what will happen if Clinton
 refuses to step down on January 20th, ...and they weren't kidding.

 Hell, I may have printed that - did anybody see it? :)

 Speaking of going crazy, I might slow down after Smirk is defeated and read
 some of what got posted this year at  bartcop.com.

 Sometimes, when I get e-mail from a shit-hot writer like Joe Conason or Molly Ivins
 or Christian Mitchell or Tamara Baker, or when I'm blessed - Betty Bowers,
 I scan the first paragraph for the words "sopranos, Kate, Zeppelin, Harmon and tequila,"
 and suddenly it gets posted before I get a good read on it..

 And sometimes, I rant and type and transpose and cut & paste and post something
 I had written,  but never stopped to read it a second time to see if it made sense..
 Sometimes I'll be searching a back issue for a follow-up on a story and I see stuff
 I don't remember writing, but it makes perfect sense because I wrote it.

 ha ha

 Yeah, ... I need a rest all right

 But if anyone has seen that "Clinton won't go" column, could you send it?

 Today's Page Two Girl is a salute to older women

 Click  Here

 It's Joe Conason vs Ralph Nader

 Click  Here

By the way, win or lose,
if Smirk gets 51 percent of the female vote
I have half-a-mind to switch from 55/45 to 45/55 on abortion.

If women want Jesse Helms to make their reproductive decisions,
then I have no business sticking my nose in their affairs.


 Dennis Miller reference translator  at  http://www.brittanica.com/

 I've been there evry week, it's funny as hell.
 BTW, did you see that quarterback they thought was dead?
 He was being pulled down from behind, and some huge sombitch came
 flying in and hit him in the upper chest and bent him backwards.

 The cameras caught a close up of him, face down in the field.
 It looked like he was either dead or had a broken back.

 Koresh...when they played that replay, the whole crowd dropped to a whisper.
 Wisely, the producers put up some football updates for Al Michaels to read
 because everybody was shook up and nobody had a clue what to say.

 ...and there's poor Dennis Miller there, and you could tell this was his first time
 with a live mic watching the possible death or dismemberment of some guy.
 Miller, smartly, said next to nothing.
 It was a good time to exercize some discretion.
 Good for him.

 They showed another set of replays and it was very sickening.
 Did you see the night, years ago, ML broke Theisman's leg?
 If you've ever had a broken leg or two, just watching that Theisman tape
 or this poor bastard tonight can make you light-headed.

 But after 8-10 minutes, the guy got up and walked off the field.
 The crowd was more relieved than Algore on November 8th.

 Dennis Miller reference translator  at  http://www.brittanica.com/

 What do the cute, rich girls with expensive shoes say?

 Get a leg up...

 Read  bartcop.com  every day

 Read  Previous Issue

 Go to  bartcop.com

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