Volume 305 - Propeller Thieves

 October 23, 2000

  David E Kelley, (TV's top producer) has a new show - Boston Public.
  The clips looked good, and it has Fyvush Finkle, so I'm going to watch.
  So far, CSI is the only half-decent new show I've seen, so let's hope.
  Also we have Chris Rock on Letterman (is this a repeat? He was on 9/12)

 USA Today had a big article on Bud Shuster, the Republican Repre-crook from PA.
 His own ditto-monkey colleagues have declared him, "a discredit to the House"
 for stealing so much money. He's number one out of all 535 members of congress.

 I asked the ditto-monkey at work, Vic, about this and you know what he said?

 "That's the problem with Washington - it corrupts people."

 ha ha

 I'm not responsible?
 The city made me do it?
 That's there excuse when they get caught?
 See? We told you Washington was bad?

 They say this Shuster asshole runs unopposed every time.
 There's nobody in Pennsylvania who can take him?
 There's nobody in Pennsylvania even willing to run against him?
 There's no Democrat in all of Pennsylvania with balls?
 Does Pennsylvania have a Democratic Party?
 Hell, I'll run against the son of a bitch.
 I might lose, but the debates would be legendary
 If the bastard's going to win anyway, why not rough him up a little?
 Look what they're doing to Hillary.
 They know they can'rt beat her, so they're paying that idiot Lick
 to get into a nasty catfight with her so she'll maybe take a shiv in the scuffle.


 ...as long as the American whore press lays down for these criminals
 they're never going to change. But then again, if Shuster's crimes have
 nothing to do with Clinton's cock, why should I expect any coverage?

 My mistake - nevermind...

 Did you see where that whiner Terry Anderson might get  $41,000,000
 because he was held by President Bush's trading partners in Lebanon?

 That's horseshit!

 I don't mind REAL victims being paid, but not journalists.
 Journalists volunteer to go into war zones.
 They think they're indestructible, but they get what they get.

 Remember when CNN's Bob Simon got  a little too close to Iraq
 during the Gulf War and they grabbed his ass?
 Remember how he couldn't stop whining?

 Hey, asshole!
 There's a fucking war going on!
 You shit-for-brains journalists think you're so bulletproof?

 Have you heard that they want to have a Journalists Memorial in DC?
 Can you believe that?
 These losers think they're Lois Lane, and they can just call Superman
 whenever they get in trouble and no rules apply to them because they're
 in search of the next Watergate and they want to be Bob Woodward.

 I say no memorial for journalists and not a penny for Terry Anderson the whiner.

 ...and before I go, remember what a pest his sister was to get him freed?
 Remember how she pestered the White House and every network again and again
 and again, day after day after day after day for them to do something about her brother?
 She worked her ass off to free him.
 Nobody works that hard for something.
 She was more relentless than Tim Russert chasing Clinton's cock!!

 And when Anderson finally got free, what did he do?
 He turned his back on her and said he didn't want to see her for a while.

 She's the hero, and he's the whining loser of a goat,
 but he's the one getting the $41,000,000.

 Jimmy Carter Quits Church

 Jimmy Carter cut his 60-year ties with the Southern Baptist Racists
 because he just now figured out they hate blacks and gays.

 Of course, Carter used the  tiniest hammer in the world  when he quit,
 saying the church was becoming "too rigid" to keep his support.

 Jimmy, you could've helped a little more,
 but you wanted to be polite instead of forcing a change.

 Poor Jimmy - he never was the sharpest knife in the drawer.

How has the American whore press been scoring the debates?

 Maybe some of our friends in other countries could report in with how the debates
 were scored by the press in Mexico, Canada, England, France, Australia and Bosnia?

From:  scooterpie@flashcom.net

Subject: o'reilly, mudge, etc.

I think the following can be said about sludge and pigboy:
Bill O'Reilly of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor

This crusty hemorrhoid masquerading as a legitimate news reporter and
commentator has risen like a turd in the party pool to make his oratory stench
spread across the American airwaves like a giant colonic oil slick.

With his shit eating grin and flatulent breath, he spews forth misguided uninformed
diatribe like a blowhole geyser full of steaming diarrhea.  Using his namesake show
as bully pulpit, Mr. O'Reilly attempts to assert his simpleton beliefs and personal
utopian wishes without benefit of detectable brain function.

His constant refrain of "If I were in charge" bears fair warning to all with intellect to
never allow this dirty diapered whiner to wield any of his dreamed of dictatorial power.
Substituting his hypocrite anger and dung laden tantrums for common sense and proper
fact checking professionalism, this ego inflated buttplug attempts to control debate that
exposes his pitiful lack of knowledge on the issues through rudeness and microphone
volume. If this manure sack of a commentator ever were to desire real truthfulness in
his broadcasts, he would rename his show  "The O'Reilly Sphincter"

It is for all these stool sample like qualities he possesses and  presents in abundance
that PPS is proud to award Bill O'Reilly our most prestigious accolade.
Thank you BUTT BOY BILL for greasing your cheeks and making  the choice so damn easy.

See http://www.privacypro.com/ for more on Asshole of the Month

Love your site,


  Update - I expected to scoop the national media by minutes, not hours.
 bartcop.com exclusive!

 This Just In...

 Smirk campaign plane forced to land in K-Drag!

 Pickles Bush, Condi Rice and Screech Cheney make unscheduled stop in K-Drag!
 Engine trouble forces plane down - new plane located to take them to Wisconsin.

 Jim Inhofe suspects propellor theft by Hillary!
 Plans to hold hearings right away!

 Make My Day

 I opened the USA Today and what did I see?
 Page 12D, Robert Bianco, their TV Critic is blasting Chris the Screaming Whore.

 "Please watch NBC's Today as a salute to my new hero, Matt Lauer,
  who let some of the air out of Chris Matthews. During a post-debate
  discussion, Lauer stopped the CNBC host in mid-rant to point out that
  Matthews regularly attacks Algore, and as such is hardly an unbiased observer.
  Then, when Matthews lumped himself in with America's undecided voters,
  Lauer scoffed, saying he thought Matthews had made up his mind four years ago.

  As a member of TV's ever-growing and ever-more-unpopular commentary
  community, Matthews is free to express his opinion of Gore.
  What he can't do is speak derisively of Gore at night, then pretend to be
  objective in the morning, and that's what Lauer wouldn't allow."

  Thanks for saying that, Robert.
  There are so few fair or liberal voices anywhere these days.

 Great Flynt Quotes

 Flynt admits up-front to offering Smirk's formerly-pregnant lover
 a million-dollar jackpot to come forward and tell her story,
"because threatening women with death in prison is so Kenneth-Starr."

Forwarded from Peter Thibeau, thru Voltai29

Please email the Nader campaign at CAMPAIGN@VOTENADER.ORG
and ask him to kindly drop out of the race for the good of the country.

Include your name and city.

 I just sent this to http://www.algore.com/townhall/index.html#ask

 F T P

 Has Fox News lost their minds?

 This hasn't gotten a lot of publicity, but Friday night, Fox is turning over
 an hour of their airtime to Smirk and Fuzzy to address the voters.
 They each have a half-hour to beg for votes.

 Why would Fox do this?

 Being a cynic, my guess is they're afraid Smirk might win, which would
 kill their nightly lineup of shit-eating lies by O'Reilly, Hannity and Von Zahn.
 What the hell would Tony Snow and Brit the Shit have to lie about
 each Sunday if they were forced to be apologists for the government?

 This is uncharted territory, folks.
 Hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake.
 Allllllll those cable whores have built their careers on Clinton's cock,
 and when they lose that, they're out of business.
 Do you think the American whore press is going to let a nickle get away?

 So Fox is, in effect, setting up one last debate, hoping the American voters
 will come to their damn senses and get over their fascination with the idiot
 from Texas who wouldn't even be in this race if the GOP didn't owe his daddy.

 So, Mr. Vice President, this looks like a gift from Koresh.
 You're getting one last chance to use the BIG hammer.

 Here's what you do:
 The rules probably say, "No props," but fuck the rules.
 Walk out onstage and pull a coat hanger from under your coat and say,
 "Women of America - this is your future if you don't vote for me!"

 Then wrap the coat hanger around the mic and walk the fuck off the stage.
 Let the camera focus on the coat hanger, and give Fox 28 minutes of dead air.


 The Fox whores will have 28 minutes to fill, and what will they talk about?
 The bold move you just took, Al, that's what they'll talk about.
 I guarantee coat hangers will be the talk of the nation until election day.
 I guarantee that will force Smirk to clarify his stand on abortion, instead
 of all this pussy-footing around with "no litmus tests" bullshit that every reporter
 has allowed him to skirt past the issue and weasel out without answering.
 Abortion will suddenly be THE topic, and that's a guaranteed loser for Smirk.

 I heard a clip of your Sunday speech in Oregon, Al.
 You said, "I will fight hard for you every hour of every day!"
 How 'bout fighting for two minutes when it counts, instead?

 If you don't want to win, why did you agree to run?
 If you DO want to win, stand up like a man and take charge.
 Remember what Jock Ewing told JR and Bobby when they were young.

 "Real power isn't something that's handed to you.
   Real power is something you TAKE!"

 The non ditto-monkeys of this country want you to TAKE control, Al.
 We've all heard you say 1,000 times, "I will fight for you."

 When you gonna start, Al?
 After the goddamn election?
 Why don't you fight NOW, when it fucking counts?

 And if you don't want to take bold action,  if you just want to sit there and whimper,
 "They don't like me,"  if you're too afraid to be bold because you're afraid the whore
 press  might say you were too agressive, then that means Clinton taught you nothing.

 Remember Rule Number One, Al - Fuck the Press.
 FTP, Al, FTP.

 This is your last at-bat, Al.
 Don't get all polite on us.

 Use the prop.
 Give Fox dead air.

 Fuck Fox.
 Fuck the Press.

 ...I'll let you know if I get a reply.

 Celebrity Mail

 Know how one of the things the Naderites say is that
'we need to get 5% of  the vote to get matching funds for the next election?'

Guess what?

Matching funds go to the Presidential candidate only,
which is a fact that Nader has not shared with the Greens.

And then, those funds are only received in the Presidential year itself.
There is no money available for party-building, for candidates lower on the
ticket, for conventions, not even for think tank work. You're on your own
anyway. And since Ralph is not officially a Green Party member, the funds
would go to him for a potential independent run.

Should Nader decide not to run as any sort of Green,
no Greenie appointed by their party could claim those funds.

Nader is not only lying to the American people,
he's lying to the Greens themselves.

Tamara Baker

 Mike Malloy (Chicago's anti-Rush) is back on the air.
  He was taken off the air because he has no tail.

 Listen Live on the net from 3-6 PM EST

 The Bitch is Back
  Look for a Meaner Dr. Laura on TV

In an effort to save her boring-as-hell TV show, Doc Screech is going back to the
abrasive slut-whore style that made her radio show a hit. Her show, Dr. Laura, which
debuted in September with a fake audience, showcased a kinder, gentler camera-straddler.
But viewers didn't take to the new persona. She wasn't mangling any inbreeds.
TV critics labeled the show boring, and viewers stayed away in droves.

Just two weeks after its premiere, the show went on a hiatus to be re-tooled, but now they
want to come back with a different tool. Producers claimed the unusual break was preplanned,
but only Bush voters fell for that line of shit. Industry experts agree it was the last act of a
desperate studio, but people couldn't distinguish it from the last act of Henry the 8th.

From the beginning, Schlessinger was uncomfortable not being the agressive slut-whore.
But Paramount told her to retract her claws or no cash - so she did just that.

But now, Paramount has changed their minds in the face of low ratings. In addition to featuring
a meaner bitch, the new, improved Doc Screech will include a "Moral Dilemma Hotline."
Viewers will be able to call the number and schedule a visit from Harpy's roving television crew
so she can mangle their inbred asses from the safety of her hidden studio.

The show will also now include a forum in which viewers who
oppose Screech's views can argue their side of the issue.

If there is such a forum,
it will be monitored more closely than Deherycheke on-line.
It won't be an expression of free thought because the slut-whore can't allow criticism.
It would kill her to hear what people think, and it would confuse her sheep to hear
a point of view not s\nctioned by the camera-straddler.

Screech's extreme views have gotten her into hot water with decent Americans.
On her radio show, she has labeled gays "biological errors" and "deviants."

It is likely that Screech will cause controversy once again when her revamped show
with the "new" Screech hits the airwaves.

Toss-Up States (170 electoral votes at stake)

 I like Rush, I really do.

 Written by BartCop (Volume 0005)

 Performed by Serdar Yagulalp  waaaaay back in August.
 I just found it, Serdar, sorry.

 Click  Here  to download the MP3 (very short - 600K)

 When we hit the "big time,"
 Serdar will be doing sound for the BartCop Show.

 From: bushwatch.com

 CNN Puts on skirt for Bush family
 Network deletes "Smirk abortion" comments from Larry Flynt chat room transcripts

 Click  Here  to read what CNN is trying to cover up

 Q. What do Smirk and his dog "Spot" have in common?

 A. Both their mothers lived in the White House.

 Yes, that's right.
 Spot's mother was Millie, a key Bush White House foreign policy advisor.
 Remember that?

 "My dog Millie knows more about foreign policy then those two Bozos,"
  said President Bush in the summer of 1992, referring to Clinton/Gore.

 Let's look at the record:
 Clinton/Gore have given us 8 years of peace and prosperity.
 Clinton/Gore have never ordered a soldier into battle who didn't come come.
 Since we know that President Bush never lied or exaggerated, (cough)
 that means Millie could run foreign policy better than Clinton/Gore, right?
 so let's hope Spot is as good with foreign policy as her mother Millie was,
 and let's hope Smirk's not having sex with Spot and Condi at the same time...

 Q. What else do Smirk and his dog have in common?

 A. Both of their mothers were bitches.

 Speaking of dogs, Click  Here

 Great SNL Quotes

 "The laws in this country are like Pinatas.
   The more you beat them, the more candy you get."
      -- Darrel Hammond, doing Clinton.

 Guest Editorial by Houston Wade

 Click  Here

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 Go to  bartcop.com

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