Volume 309 -  Live and Let Smirk

 October 26, 2000  Part 2 

 Did anyone see the History Channel tonight?

 Since baseball is over, there was nothing on TV, so I watched
 a show they had on the history of the Hitler Youth movement.

 In this one after-church scene they showed from 1955,
 everybody was there, but they were just children at the time

 They were showing footage of some Hitler Youth Pancake Breastfast!
 Trent Lott was 12-13 years old and was so cute wearing a little black hat.
 Bob Barr was only about 7, he and wouldn't let go of his mommy's skirt.
 Jesse Helms, emcee at the breakfast, was giving out door prizes,
 John Mclaughlin was still leading the Jesuits for a Whiter America, and
 Tom Delay was in the kitchen, cooking sausage patties and Luftwaffles.

 Check your TV Guide, it may be on again later in the week.

 ha ha


 It'll be a sad day when I lose you, Smirk...

 It's not fair.
 I lost Dick Nixon, I lost Reagan, I lost Quayle, I lost Dornan,
 I lost Meese and Atwater, I lost Perot, ...and now I'm losing Smirk.
 Y'know, I'm trying to do a little comedy thing here on the Internet
 trying to come up with a few jokes, but it's getting harder every day.

 He was a good one
 Damn, we had some fun, didn't we?

 ha ha

  <heavy sigh>

 I'm going to miss you, buddy...


 Today's Page Two Girl, that's the ticket.

 Click  Here

 CNN, afraid  bartcop.com  is getting too influential?

From: www.bushwatch.com

Subject: CNN filter

The bushwatch filtering may be gone, but a filter for "bartcop" is still there.
The CNN filter also removes MSNBC and the number 8.

Another Bush Watcher

"Seems CNN has setup a bushwatch dot com filter in their chat channels now
that prevents chatters from mentioning bushwatch.com. The first I noticed it was
yesterday (10/24/00), and it is still in effect as of this AM. [Later...]

CNN has now removed this [bushwatch.com] filter that was in place for over 24 hours
... this is too funny for words."  10/25/00

Politex: "Funny" is not the word I would use. "Frightening" comes to mind.
This is just one more instance in which CNN's credibility as an unbiased
source of news comes into question. At any rate, to prevent anyone from
filtering out reference to www.bushwatch.com, simple put a space between
each of the letters. (w w w . b u s h w a t c h . c o m .)

Thanks for the heads-up. 10/26/00

Jerry, thanks for that.
(For dozens and dozens of Smirk updates each day before noon,
 check with bushwatch.com, the Internet's premier anti-Bush website)

To teach CNN a lesson,
I think everyone should go to a CNN chat room and mention  b a r t c o p . c o m

Of course, if you have too much respect for the press,
you should not go to a CNN chat room and mention  b a r t c o p . c o m

 Has anybody heard anything about this "debate" on Fox Friday night?

 Great Dumbass Quotes

 "Now, nobody's around.
   Everybody's gone.
   Nobody talks to me.
   They're gone now."

  Guess who?

 Paula, a guy will spend the night with his girlfriend,
 but who wants to spend the night with a prostitute?

 Jones was asked yesterday on ABC-TV's "The View"
 about testimony she gave identifying a distinguishing
 characteristic of the President's anatomy.

"Well, it was like that," she said,
  extending an index finger and bending it.



 but I personally heard Gennifer Flowers on G. Gordon Liddy's show
 make the claim she had a TWELVE YEAR AFFAIR with Clinton's cock,
 and he was "normal in every way."

 Gee, it's almost like somebody was lying.

 Looks like somebody's been caught in an exaggeration!

 U.S. Embassies Assisted Cheney Firm

 The Whole Truth

 Though Dick Cheney says the government played no role in his business success,
 internal State Department memos show U.S. diplomats lobbied foreign governments,
 banks and state-run companies to assist two business deals for the oil services firm
 once headed by the Republican vice presidential candidate.

Celebrity Mail

From: (withheld)

Subject: Love your site

Dear Bartcop,

My neighbor told me about your site last week.  I love it.  I have shared it
with many friends.  I am from Hot Springs, Arkansas.  I owned the agency
which handled the advertising in Bill Clinton's first campaign for Governor.
In the campaigns of 1978 and 1982, I was his campaign travel assistant.

So, you know where Hillary buried the bodies?
ha ha

I am busy working in the Gore campaign here in Hot Springs, and do not
have time right now to communicate further, but will contact you after
the victory on November 7th.

Keep up the good work.
Your site is a great morale booster!!!!

Ted D
Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas

Sounds like a job offer, doesn't it?
I'll need 80K to start and a condo in Georgetown.
(and a paper-only job for Mrs. BartCop)

Why Gore Should Embrace Clinton
Al may not like the idea, but the only real humiliation is losing
Selected pieces from a long-winded rant by LANCE MORROW

What a dilemma for Al Gore.
He should be well ahead of George W. Bush by now.
He should be on cruise control, barreling down the interstate toward an electoral inevitability.
He should have won all three debates by knockout or unanimous decision, exercising his
famous command of fact and argument.
He should be the unarguable favorite in this race--the Expected One. Instead ...

And so the dilemma on which Gore chews is this: whether to say, "Mr. President, I need help.
Unless you start campaigning for me--now--I am going to lose this election."

The President brims with ideas, watching Gore fouling up an exercise that to Clinton
is effortless second nature.  How humiliating for the former cigar-store Indian.

ha ha

What should Gore do?

Gore is the Salieri of American politics.
There in the Oval Office sits the Mozart from Arkansas, the natural, the political genius of our time.
So, the dilemma: Does Salieri, seeing that he is losing the audience, invite Mozart to join the tour?
My answer, if I were Gore's manager, would be yes.

You have worked with him for eight years--been a crucial part of a successful Administration.
Play to the theme of continuation, play to the successes.
Right now, America's biggest fear is that the Clinton years are going to go away;
they suffer from abandonment anxiety.

Therefore: Brag on the Clinton years! Promise more of the same!
Bring Clinton out to brag on you!
He's a narcissist, to be sure, but the smartest one in America.

ha ha

Salieri's music isn't worth a damn except to the extent that it sounds like Mozart's.
So bring out Mozart, and have him play. And while that music lingers in the ear,
have him promise the American audience that your music will be just as wonderful.
They might half-believe it.

Americans had better be hearing that music in their minds when they go to the polls.
Otherwise, you are headed for that desolate zone of historical nonexistence
that is inhabited by former Vice Presidents. END

 From: bobbybumkin@yahoo.com

 Subject: Such a compassionate Liberal

 I love it when open mindedness and compassion reveal themselves.
 You are also quite a linquist too.
 I've never seen anyone use vulgarity in such a classy way before.

 I have to commend you on you ability to show just how hateful and wrong
 you and your side is. Insults abound on your web site, but no real discussion
 of issues or solutions to problems that face our society.

 Unless you call the small pathes of lies about the GOP and
 "Smirk" mixed in with four letter words a discussion of issues.

 Pigboy and I both wish you a happy and healthy life.

 BTW cheerup the GOP is about to make a sweep of the 3 main branches of
 government and whether you like it or not your life is about to improve.

 Good day,

 Should I call you Bobby Bumpkin or Dickhead?
 From the looks of that picture you sent, I should call 911.

 Were you bobbing for french fries?
 Or are you just embarrased about playing the fool on bartcop.com?

 ha ha

 Backing Gore No Joke to Seinfeld

 The way Jerry Seinfeld sees it,
  the choice between Gore and Bush is a no-brainer.

 "Anyone who has ever hired someone knows
  the only thing you go by is brains."
  Jerry's hire: Gore.

 Seinfeld has never spoken out for a candidate before. But
 this year, the comedian insists that he is so concerned about
 the possibility of Bush's winning that he's making his feelings known.

 The Bush people "are trying to cover up the fact that they're
 trying to eliminate a woman's right to choose," he says.

 "There's a lot at stake."


 Too bad Gore doesn't see things as clearly as Jerry does.
 Jerry knows when to use the BIG hammer.

 Update - see below

 From: atexasvoter@hotmail.com

 Subject: The Birdcage debate

 For Bartcop
 October 26 2000 at 9:46 AM Zachary Bauer (login birdcage)

 Ok, I never would have my number on my site.


 I think Rule Number One should be no ALL CAPS.





 THE BIRD (Zachary Bauer)

 How about tomorrow?
 After C.S.I., (9PM CST) I have nothing on my schedule.
 One thing, when I went to www.thebirdbath.com yesterday, it said
 "PF" owned birdbath. I called that number, and "Mrs. Birdbath"
 confirmed that "PF" owned www.thebirdbath.com
 So, who is Zachary Bauer?

 It's OK if you guys team up, you can have 30 helpers if you want,
 whereas I will only have help from my Chinaco Anejo,
 but which of you wears the egg on his face when it's over?

 Besides no ALL CAPS posts, I don't think we need a lot of rules,
 but if this is witnessed by thousands, how will we prevent others
 from joining in?  A possible alternative would be to do it privately,
 but only if we can record the beating, ..uh, ...the contest.

 I will e-mail you now (3PM CST) for confirmation.

 UpdateClick  Here

 If you love Big Oil,
 if you love Big Tobacco,
 if you love the Big Gun lobby,
 if American mega-conglomerates need government asistance
 but the poor and minorities need to "knock it off," vote for Ralph.

 Expect a thank you note from President Smirk.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "If you want to check my web site, dial 1-800....
  uh, ... uh, ... I'm sorry, that's my phone number.
  Does anybody know what my website address is?"

 ha ha

 Pigboy, it's a good think you're a scum-sucking whore,
 or the stuff I do to you on  bartcop.com  would seem ugly.

 We lost one today...

  J.C Watts Senior, a lifelong Oklahoma Democrat, died today of bone cancer.

 Watts was perhaps most famous for coining the phrase,
 "A black man voting Republican is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders."

 In one of his last interviews, Watts said his biggest regret
 was that he didn't have a son that he could be proud of.

 I got this fun pic from a web site,
 not exactly sure of the name,
 but you can get there by  Clicking Here

 From: ekf@hrb.com

 Subject: Smirk's New Education Program

 Under Smirk's new education plan, announced this week, if you're a
 single mother of two children, trying to put food on your family,

 ha ha

 you can get them each a $500,000 education voucher.
 All you have to do is accuse a Democrat of rape, sue him,
 and then spread your legs for Penthouse.


 22 Points

 I didn't get around to this Nazi whore lie yesterday, but let's.

 This is example Number 262 of why the lying Pigboy can't have guests.
 This is more proof of why, when Rush goes on a TV show as a guest,
 he insists on being on all by himself, because he has an agreement with
 the host that he won't be attacked or ridiculed for his comedy schtick.

 This is why he's forced to hide like a scared bunny in his bunker.
 First off, we start with a quote from,
 "an un-named, high-level, off-the-record anonymous Gore campaign official."


 Even scrambled Matt Drudge has more credibility than that.
 At least Matt Drudge is a bi-ped, carbon-based homo-sapien, pun intended.
 At least we know Matt Drudge exists - I've seen his ugly ass.
 But Rush quotes  "an un-named, high-level, off-the-record anonymous Gore campaign official."

 Before we even start, I could say back in 1987, I heard from
 "an un-named, high-level, off-the-record, anonymous Reagan Administration official."
 that Red-Ink enjoyed burning his grandchildren's legs with cigarettes in the Oval Office.
 That un-named official told me Reagan got an erection whenever he burned those kids.

 See what happens when you play that game, Rush?

 Ok, so we;'ve established that this "source" has less credibility than Drudge,
 now let's take a look at what he "said," and what Pigboy did with that information.

 This alleged  un-named, high-level, off-the-record anonymous Gore campaign official told
 "a reporter" that Gore would be up 22 points if not for Bill Clinton's immorality.

 Since it fits in with his 105-month campaign of lies against the man who severely
 bitch-whipped not one but two Republican war heroes in fair fights, Pigboy elevates this
 "un-named, high-level, off-the-record anonymous"  story to "a fact."

 For the purposes of this ass-whipping, let's assume for a moment that it's true.
 Using science, logic and math, we can extrapolate the following:

 If Gore and Smirk are essentially tied as is, and the story is true, that means if Clinton
 was a man of higher values and morals, Smirk is such absolute shit, that he would be
 running 22 points behind the serial-exaggerating, Buddhist-fund-raising,
 mean-sprited policy wonk tree-hugger who lies more than Bill Clinton.

 Boy, that's worse than anything I've ever said about Governor Bush,
 and trust me, I've been trying my best for 18 months.

 Pigboy just said that with all things being equal,
 Al Gore is a 22-point better candidate than the idiot Smirk from Texas.

 Pigboy, well put.

 This is example Number 262 of why the lying Pigboy can't have guests.
 This is why he forced to hide like a scared bunny in his bunker.
 If I was a guest on Herr Vulgar's show, I'd point that out the folly of
 his lie-rants, then watch his Nazi ass try to squirm out of it.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the best issue we've ever done.

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