Volume 314 - Moving in Stereo

 October 31, 2000

 More prediction "science" from the Pigboy

 He says he's certain Smirk will win because the Redskins lost last night.
 The sheep see this as "more proof."

 F-ing unbelievable, ...to us sane folks.

 USA TODAY is openly stumping for Smirk.

 No shock there, but nobody can explain why the media has jumped on
 the mental-midget's brandwagon. Sure, I think it's because THE BEAST
 needs to be fed, but funny these obvious whores would put their ship at risk
 by letting a drunken sailor drive the damn thing in the first place.

 Editorial Page 15A, third paragraph:

 The accusations [that Smirk is a dim bulb] grow from Bush's well-documented
 preference for short workdays with long lunches, an occasional tendency to
 trip over his tongue, and a history of heavy partying and little achievement
 into his thirties.

 Into his thirties?
 That makes it sound like he might've grown up at age 31 or 32, but Smirk has
 admitted he stopped his constant binge-drinking on his fortieth birthday.
 Forty's not all that close to 31 or 32.

 Why would a formerly-responsible newspaper slant the facts this way?
 Tell me, USA TODAY, if Smirk admitted 40 speeding tickets,
 would you slant that to claim he admitted 31 or 32?

 They went on to say, "Recent history suggests [having top-notch advisors to overcome
 foreign policy inexperience] is no quick cure. JFK's aborted invasion of Cuba
 (which happned under Eisenhower's advisors) Reagan's attempt at peacekeeping in
 Lebanon (the mother of all foreign policy screw-ups) and Clinton's fiasco in Somalia,"
 which is horseshit of the highest order.

 Clinton didn't put one soldier in Somalia - not one!
 After Bush lost the 1992 election, he decided to give Somalia a Christmas present
 so he wouldn't be remembered as a big loser of a president, and he failed to send
 armored vehicles with those men, knowing Somalia was controlled by small men
 with AK-47's.  That screw-up was Bush's, not Clinton's.

 Sometimes you hear weasel talk about how Clinton "changed the mission."
 More horseshit!
 Bush put those soldiers in Somalia without the tools they needed.
 Jesus Christ, Clinton was in office for just days when tragedy struck.

 From: http://www.unquietmind.com/georgew.html

 Listen to President Bush in his speech to America from the Oval Office
 on December 4, 1992: "To every sailor, soldier, airman and Marine who is
 involved in this mission, let me say you are doing God's work. We will not fail."
 A week later Bush announced to the world, "Their mission is noble and just."

 ...but USA TODAY, in their zeal to get the idiot elected, is telling us Bill Clinton
 lost those lives in Somalia. That's an outrage. And the man who made the stupid
 decisions that cost 44 lives was hugely more qualified than his idiot son.


 Today's Page Two Girl is Leonor Varela

 Click  Here

 From:  tjwash@yahoo.com


 Hey BC, did you check out the Dow and Nasdaq yet?
 Gonna hit 11000 by the end of the week for sure.
 Man, am I ever glad that Clinton quit meddling in the economy last week,
 and let Reagans economy come charging back.

 Seriously though, have you noticed on CNN.com, the screaming,
 Drudge-style headlines, everytime the market corrects itself?

 --->DOW OFF BY 187 POINTS!!!!<---

 Garbage like that. What a bunch of flaming whores.
 Not even a mention this week of the dow's rise in the headlines.


 From: JennyQ1@aol.com

 Subject: Smirk's "urine" remark on Leno

 "I promise, I'll never embarrass you"....

 Smirk said on Leno that his brother "urinated in the steam iron".

 Yes, giving no-taste Leno an opening to suggest it was Smirk's pants
 his mother ironed next. Great show of class, Jay.

 But since Smirk has a "R," after his name, all is forgiven.

 For the last few days, Pigboy is whining that Clinton only got 43 percent
 of the 49 percent who voted in 1992, and 49 percent of the 49 percent
 of the people who voted in 1996.

 Pigboy says that "proves" Clinton only got 24 percent of the people.

 Two things, your pigness:

 1. More people voted for Clinton the second time, meaning the more they
     got to know him, the more they liked him. Smirk on the other hand,
     was at 70 percent approval a year ago, but the more we see of him
     and his smirking, shit-eating blank face, he drops like a safe.

 2. No matter if Clinton just got two votes, he got more than Bush & Dole.
     You can say 43 percent isn't much, but what did Smirk daddy get, 39 percent?
     You say Clinton only got 24 percent of the total votes, so Dole got what, 20?

 Today, El Vulgarro says Al Gore should be put on a suicide watch.
 Does the winner always commit suicide, Rush?

 Feeling lucky, Rush?
 You have Algore to kick around for another 8 years.

"If Nader can't win, neither can Gore."
  How the fundie left is carrying water for Smirk

 Click  Here

 I need to double-up or even triple-up on cartoons,
 because a week from today all Smirk toon's will be useless.

From: (withheld)

Subject: Chinaco reminder

Bart, just a reminder:
I don't think Oklahoma's the only state where the liquor stores are closed
on Sundays and ELECTION DAYS!!!

Recall Will Rogers' famous line that Oklahomans would vote 'dry'
as long as they could stagger to the polls....

Eddy, good point.
I am prepared, I have a bottle and a half of God's Nectar.

But yes,  sooner, rather than later.
It will tast extra-sweet when Dan Rather calls it for Gore at 10:20

It's just like BIG government to force the owners of liquor stores
to stop making aliving because Sunday is the Lord's Day (Oh, please!)
and we shouldn't drink on Election Day.
Thanks, Mommy, may I have a candy bar on Election day?

We need religious superstition OUT of our lives.

From: jonbastian@earthlink.net

Subject: Shrubya on Leno

Bartcop --

I just watched the Shrub's appearance on the Tonight Show and, my gawd,
could Jay have given him a bigger blowjob?  I found the whole experience
infuriating. It was obviously a packed, Bush Campaign approvedv (provided?)
audience, and Leno gave Bush more set-ups than Abbot ever did to Costello.

The Nadir (Nader?) of the performance was when Leno put on a Shrub
Hallowe'en mask, and Shrub just "happened" to have his own Gore mask,
which he put on, saying, "Now that's scary."

But, regards this total ass-licking of W.,
what do you think is up with Leno, anyway?

I've said this before, but comedians get a pass from whoredom.
Jay knows Gore will bore everyone to death, whereas Smirk would
provide Leno with a whole fleet of new sports cars.

I'll bet there's nobody in America with a lower opinion of voters
than me, but I think voters are too smart to elect that idiot.

But to answer your first question - no.

 This Just In...

 Steve Allen is dead.
 Did you know he was the voice of Superman on the radio?
 He was a staunch ditto-head, personal worshipper of the Pigboy,
 but I liked his work. As a comedian, he could think on his feet.

 Seems like he also invented the Tonight Show.

    Steve Allen, shown here with Sabrina, the Hooter Witch

 Texas Baptists To Hold Back Funds
 CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (AP) - In an extremely rare showing of sanity, Texas'
 2.7 million Baptists dealt a severe blow to the Southern Baptist Convention on Monday,
 withdrawing $5 million in funding on the grounds they have become too conservative.

 Click  Here

 Ann Coulter is rejected in bid to run for U.S. House
  Writes nasty revenge column after rejection

  Click  Here

From: peter.hisey@tfn.com

Subject: The filthy pigboy

Bart: Did you catch The Count of Mucho Crisco SCREAMING
about the NAACP's dragging ad? This, El Porko exclaimed, was unfair.
It was inaccurate. It was just roiling up hate. It was dirty and low.
And Al Gore wouldn't denounce it! (sob, sniff)

It was exactly what he's been doing for 10 years.
About time someone did it to the pervert, sheep-molesting repugnikans.
Remember, two wrongs don't make a right, but three do. I sincerely hope
that soft Dem ads for the next week continue to show Bush in all his glory.

I saw that ad an I didn't see a problem with it.
The lady said what she felt.
It was Smirk's "too good to be seen with a nigger" attitude
that birthed that ad, nothing more.

He'll have two more years to think about it - as governor.

 ha ha

 Russert, obsessed with cock!


I have a friend who's big in the Florida Democratic Party.
He gave me a tip on some hush-hush, behind-the-scenes info.
This is not for release to the general public, so forget you saw this here. OK?

They have some secret, internal polling that is telling them
Smirk is a brainless idiot who's going to lose Florida by 9 points.

From: garic2k@yahoo.com

Subject: I can't take it anymore...

If I have to hear that blithering idiot GW say,
"I don't trust the govmint, I trust the people" 1 more time.....

Geezes, his daddy was the head of the CIA and President.
Brother Jeb is running Florida. Smirk himself is Governor of Texas...
Is he really saying, he doesn't trust himself, his dad, or his brother Jeb?
Or any of the other Bush clan that is completely engulfed by Politics?

Are people really that mind-numb by all of El Dumbo's
babbling 3 hours a day that they believe this crap?

People are a LOT nmore stupid than you think,
but they're too smart to be outwitted by a smirking fool.

ha ha

Pigboy just said Gore has 390 Electoral Votes racked up.
Any gamblers out there?

ha ha

I can't wait to hear Pigboy November 8th

 The latest poll numbers from New York show Hillary comfortably ahead
 of Lazio in every poll except Zogby. Of course, Zogby admitted taking money
 to skew the results for the Republicans, so he doesn't matter anymore.

 From:  Hudly55@aol.com

 Subject: Election night and Chicano

 On election night the key is Florida, if Gore wins it (polls have him ahead) Smirk is toast.
 That is why Smirk is going to California. If he loses Florida his only hope is to snag Cali.
 Not happening. I think Gore is going to squeak by.

 If so " Shots of Chinaco all around!"
 I will be one of the dozens on your site that night.
 I think Jethro peaked a week ago.


VCR Alert - Smirk on Leno

 He was the same as always.
 Moronic, childlike, smirking...

 Every time I see him, I think,
 "Koresh, he's horrible. When people see this tape, they'll understand."

 He even put on a Gore mask and said, "See how scary I am?"

 He's Paulie Shore.
 He's Gilligan.
 He's Fredo.
 He doesn't have an unscripted bone in his body.

 Tonight - Tuesday, Gore and Bartlet on Leno.

That new guy,  Todd Gitlin  is pretty good.
The Naders won't like it.

Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the best issue we've ever done.

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