Volume 324 - Fool for the County

 November 8, 2000

 The Nader List

 Michael Moore
 Phil Donahue
 Susan Sarandon
 Tim Robbins
 Eddie Vedder
 Bono - maybe
 Danny Glover
 Patti Smith (the singer)
 Bill Maher

 Who else?

 Nader Gives Oval Office to Smirk?

 Full Story

 Ralph Nader was the real spoiler in this election. As I write, the unofficial vote totals
 in Florida are: for Bush -- 2,909,136; for Gore -- 2,907,351;  for Nader -- 96,698.

 Simple arithmetic says it all.
 Assuming that most of Nader’s votes came from Gore -- a safe assumption if there
 ever was one -- without Nader in the race,  Gore would be the clear winner in Florida
 and the next president of the United States.
     -- Bill Press

 I know you Nader voters are feeling scared and confused, but you did what you did,
 and you may have caused four years of GOP rule - after we asked you not to.

 Guest Editorial - Nelson Derks

 Click  Here

From: btaylor1@nycap.rr.com

Subject: I take no Pleasure (cough)

BartCop wrote:
"We've had control of the sky for the last 50 years."

Sorry Bartcop. That is not true.  When we first went to real Non War in
Viet Nam we were getting our asses shot off in air to air and air to
ground combat with the N VN Air Force.  We rebuilt our programs
activated TOP GUN and reclaimed our rightful position as Air Dominant

But before we could do that a lot of American Flyers went down to Hanoi
Hilton or never lived to see the ground.

Ben, I don't know Smirk about specifics,
but I doubt Charlie's planes out-dueled our jets in dogfights in the sky.
Russian Migs were held together with bubblegum and baling wire.

I can see AAA hitting some planes, which is what I believe happened to McCain,
but it's my best guess we've owned those skies since Thurmond was a teen.


 Subject: Quotes from Florida

 These came from the Sun-Sentinel story at Bushwatch...

"Victorious GOP Congressman Mark Foley said he had a Reform
 Party opponent who drew 2,651 votes, signaling support in Palm
 Beach County. "The allegations that people were voting in error
 because they were confused is nonsensical," he said.

 But Palm Beach County Commissioner Bert Aaronson, who
 represents the West Boca and West Delray areas, disagreed.
"I  don't think we have 3,000 Nazis in Palm Beach County," he said..

 Can't believe they actually printed that quote in a regular newspaper!
 I thought I was reading a bartcop.com version!

 ha ha

 This 'toon sums up this campaign's press coverage very well.

The whore press GAVE this election to Smirky.

From: onehandle@yahoo.com

Subject: The Silver Lining

If Smirk pulls this off I believe:

His term (singular) will be tainted from the get-go.
Losing the popular vote, Florida voting irregularities.
I have said up to now that I thought that he would have two terms
because so much cash has been invested in him.  I take it back.

We will win back the House and Senate in 2002.
Dubya and Brother Jeb will not be re-elected.
This administration and Jeb's Governorship are lame-duck as of now.

I know we are all pretty mad at Nader, but there is a silver lining.
This will energize the Democratic party like hell!
They will rediscover their base.

They say, " Whatever doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger".
This has never been more true.
We had a lot of victories last night.
The GOP has NO mandate.

I never had foresaw a scenario where I would feel good
about Smirk winning, but this is it.  The tide is turning.
The future is ours.

P.S.  Remember you can say this:
I Voted for Al Gore, The "Popular" President!

Onehandle, have you had any sleep since last night?

From: Tim_Ebben@edm1.com

Subject: Matanuska Valley Thunderfuck

Proposition 5 in AK, would have legalized (not decrim) possession,
cultivation, and distribution of all hemp products, including MJ.

It failed, but only by 61-39%.
If I read this right, this means that almost 40% of Alaskans favor legalization.
This could be huge in the next couple years.
If it happens, damn winter, I'm moving.
What do you think?

There are times when I think I'm the only logical person on the planet.
Alaska is heavily GOP.
The GOP pretends they're for individual freedom.

Individual freedom would allow people to smoke whatever flowers they want,
without the heavy-handed government spending billions on top of billions to
prevent the rugged individuals from making a small personal choice.

The GOP wants to control your flower intake.
The GOP wants to control your wife's unterus.
The GOP wants to control your children's religious upbringing.
The GOP wants to control Hollywood and Howard Stern.
The GOP wants to prevent you from ending your life with dignity
  in you're facing years and years of dilaudid-proof pain.

(There's a dozen more, but you get my drift.)

Yet, the Democrats are such spineless pussies and brainless debaters,
they can't point out the simple facts to win an election from these morons.

Without Bill Clinton, we're just a lost party of imbeciles.
Without Bill Clinton, we're lost in the fucking desert, going in circles.

Thank Koresh - Hillary will kick Smirk's ass in 1459 days

 Trent Lott in his cheerleading uniform

From: kimblet@admin.craven.cc.nc.us

Subject: runoff

I saw Marc Perkel's request for a runoff.
We would need a change in the constitution for that.

However, something that wouldn't require a change is the state of Florida invalidating its "results".


Tim, I'm no lawyer, but I can't agree.
We are in uncharted territory.

If we give the election to Smirk, in 2004, we can just hijack some trucks
with ballots in them, throw out the GOP votes, and deliver the tainted votes
and claim last night as a precedent.

IF the  recount goes Gore's way, Smirk will scream, maybe rightfully.
IF the recount goes Smirk's way, I suspect Gore will conceed.

But if Gore wins the recount - what other choice to we have?
Another recount?
Then another?

From: artsankey@hotmail.com

Subject: My prediction

1. Face it, Bush has won - the absentee voters are mainly overseas military types
    who will support someone who will give them new toys to play with,
    even though he deserted his nation in wartime.

2. My prediciton for the next 4 years - you'll change the name of your page to
    "Michael Morre, lying nazi whore" and add the words "thank you Nader"
    at the end of every paragraph.

3. You'll blame Nader for Gore's inability to use Clinton and the big stick.

4. You know, we could be organizing a major hell-raising protest for inaguration day,
    but oh no, it would be more satisfying to get vengence on Nader and co.

1. Do you embrace defeat so you can protest the raw deal you got?
2. Are you having a stroke?
3. Are you a gambling man?
4. There's a word I like to use, it starts with an "i," and ends with an "f."

    IF Bush wins this race fairly, the race you've offered to Bush on a silver platter,
    what would we be protesting on Inauguartion Day?

    I think you Nader types are in love with protesting.
    Maybe you'd be happier without Nader telling you
    what a shithole existence you've been living under Clinton.

 This Day in History

 - 1995 Michael Jackson and Sony joined forces to create the world's
 third-largest music publishing company with more than 100,000 titles.

 Jackson's ATV Music catalog, which included the classic Beatles songs,
 (as previously disclosed on  bartcop.com ) was estimated to be worth $300 million.

 How Crooked is the GOP?

 Full Crooked Story

"Charles Hoskins, a Democratic candidate for constable in Johnson County, Texas,
 went to early voting with his wife in Cleburne and got a shock — their ballots
 already had been filled out.  Election workers “usually put out three ballots and
 say ‘Pick one,’” said Gayle Ledbetter, chairman of the Johnson County Democratic Party.

 “Hoskins and his wife were given their choice of four ballots, and two of them were
 already marked straight Republican.

   Hey, Ann Coulter...

  You want some free french fries?

 ...must be strong,
 ...must resist

 ha ha

 Annie got her free french fries...

Overlooked ballot box found in Florida church
 "I shook it. It was full, and it was very heavy"

 The director of a church preschool said she discovered a padlocked ballot box at
 the church hall Wednesday morning.

 Officials with the Miami-Dade County elections office were said to be on the
 way to retrieve the box, which was apparently left behind by precinct workers.

 Preschool director Tatleen Francis told CNN she discovered the ballot box
 shortly after 7 a.m. Wednesday when she arrived at work.

 "It's sad because it shows we're not getting the truth," said Francis. "If you're supposed
  to do a job and represent the country and the people, it's very discouraging."

 Francis said she saw the box through a door window across the hall from her office.
 She said she unlocked the door, went into the fellowship hall where balloting took place,
 picked up the box and examined it.

 "I shook it. It was full, and it was very heavy," Francis added.

 She notified a lawyer she described as someone she knows who works for a
 Rep. Alcee Hastings. She said the lawyer also works for the Democratic Party.
 Francis said the lawyer called an elections official to notify the board of the ballot
 box left behind.

"The people who took the time to vote, their votes were not counted," she added.
"It will discourage them."

 ha ha

 They are so scared of this tiny woman with the big ideas.

From:  democr8@hotmail.com

Subject: Florida Election Fraud

Hey BC,

Lots to talk about, but for now I just wanted to
mention this problem in Palm Beach county, Florida.

Did you see that ballot?
Who was the idiot who designed that?!

Gore's name is listed second on the ballot,
but the place where you mark your selection for Gore is listed third?!

Damn, sounds like Jeb meant what he said about "taking care of Florida."


PS  I just read what you posted from Michael Moore.
I can't believe this  bum-fuck!  It just goes to show his hypocrisy.
He wants us to think he and Nadir and their minions had nothing to do
with Gore (possibly) losing?

How stupid do they think we are?  Don't worry Mikey, you got what you wanted.
Bush will screw over unions, the environment, the poor and uninsured, women and
minorities, they'll have our children praying in school and bringing guns to church,
Bill Gates will get a billion dollar federal refund while refusing to raise the minimum
wage for the poor.  You'll have plenty of things to bitch about without actually
having to make a difference, allowing your entertainment career to survive a
few more years.  Should be rather lucrative!!

 Are you ready to say goodbye to Social Security?

 Today in History

 Forty years ago today, younf John Kennedy kicked the ugly ass
 of Richard Nixon to become our (up-til-then) most virile president.
 Kennedy's election ushered in the era of Camelot in the White House
 which lasted until the GOP put a bullet in his fucking brain.

 Thanks, GOP.
 That "rule of law" means everything to you, doesn' it?

 After screaming "landslide" alllllllllllllll day yesterday,
 Pigboy is screaming "Didn't I predict this exactly?" today.

 Rush - you're a lying bastard.
 Anyone ever tell you that?

 Today in History

 Fifty years ago today, during the Korean conflict, the first jet fight took place
 as Air Force Lt. Russell Brown shot down a North Korean MiG-15.

 Eat hot lead, you commie bastards!

 Our jets and our men are the best!
 We've had control of the sky for the last 50 years.

 (Marching band plays Souza song)

 Hollywood Rumor

 Sources say Lara Flynn Boyle, 30, left Jack Nicholson's bed
 for the bed of Harrison Ford, who's just separated from his wife.

 Can anybody explain?

 I mean, she's a hot enough babe, but not hot enough to be
 slicing thru Hollywood's $20,000,000-per-film A-list stars.

 She's already had Bruce Willis (R-Scumbag)
 I guess Adam Sandler and Jim Carey are next?

GOP Hacked

WASHINGTON (AP) - An Internet site run by the RNC was taken down
after it was defaced in the final hours of the presidential campaign.

The Web page - www.GOP.org - was replaced with a text message,
which at the end urged visitors to the site to vote for Al Gore. It also
contained a link to Gore's campaign Web site. RNC officials said they
became aware that the site was defaced late Monday and took it down
as soon as possible. The DNC denied any connection to the incident and
reported its own computer problems.

The committee said outside intruders tried to gain access to its systems
Monday night, forcing the DNC's external e-mail system to shut down.
The server was running again Tuesday, a spokesman said.

 CNN Updates

 Ashcroft just gave a nice concession speech.
 Was very nice to Mrs. Carnahan, wished her well.
 he went farther than he needed to, a nice gesture.

 Then Smirk came on and started crying:
 "I won, dammit I won!"

 He said he was sending Jmes Baker to FL,
 "...because he's so smart and universally respected."

 Sure, Smirk, maybe on your side he is...

From: hermit13@enteract.com

Subject: College daze

Sleepin' in, huh?  You've earned it.

I had a pretty amusing time in the chatroom for a couple of hours last night,and I
don't normally do chat - but what were all those people from Arizona doing in there?  :~)

As far as the TV coverage, I was Humboldtizing myself last night (as opposed to
Chinacoizing myself - didn't want the headache this morning) and was about as
sharp as a baseball bat, but one thing that really sticks in my mind was The Screamer
looking at the electoral map and describing the blue vs. red of the Gore states/Bush
states as an indication of the "Balkanization (his word)" of the United States:

"We've got all of these red states here in the South and the West looking like a big
Croatia from the old Yugoslavia, with the blue of the other "Balkan" states divided
by it...and then we've got New Hampshire looking like West Berlin over there on its own..."

Whatta crock - and what an asshole.

Anyway, although I'm sure you're swamped with comments about the Electoral College
this morning, this Florida thing's got my Jockeys in a wad, and has the potential to do so
far beyond today - it sure looks like we're going to see an 1880-type election (I think
that's the date...) all over again, where the candidate with the highest percentage of
popular vote loses the Presidency because of the Electoral College system.

We've got a Senator here in Illinois who, even before the election, stated that he would
like to propose an amendment to the Constitution that would eliminate the E.C. once
and for all - even Borrin' Hatch has talked about modifying the College so that the
electoral votes of each state would be divided on the basis of the popular vote - but this
plan of his seems to have a little too much "wiggle room" built into it for my taste - if it
doesn't divide evenly, who gets to assign the extra electoral vote?  The upshot of all of
this is, Bush, at this moment, is supposedly leading in Florida by around 2,000 votes;
if he wins in FLA by this amount and gets all of its electoral votes, and I know I'm stating
the obvious here, he still won't win the popular vote nationwide - and this is called the
Mandate of the People?  Seems kind of crazy that such a mandate could be hijacked
by the electoral College...  I'll hold my breath.

At any rate, you've most certainly done your part, and, as the immor(t)al Kinky Friedman said,
"In the words of the Prophet, you done good."


Thanks, but not everybody agreed.
I got heckled last night - my first.
I can handle the ditto-monkeys - easy as breathing air,
but when the good guys turn on me, I'm not sure how to handle it.

By the way, I have tons of chatter from last night

Chatter One

 We have Senator Clinton.
 We have Senator Carnahan
 Rogan, McCollum, Lazio and Ashcroft were made to eat it.
 Didn't get the House, didn't get the Senate, probably.
 But a little President Gore and we happy.

 CNN says Gore ahead by 250,000 votes.

...from the Onion

 We need to make a list of Nader people - for the next election.

 Michael Moore
 Phil Donahue
 Susan Sarandon
 Tim Robbins
 Eddie Vedder
 Perhaps Bono
 Danny Glover

 Who else?

 C'mon, help me with this list.

 Did you hear what that shit  John McLaughlin  said last weekend?

 "If Carnahan wins, the election may not be valid, because the Missouri
  constitution says you have to 'live' in Missouri to be elected,
  and Carnahan isn't 'living' anywhere right now."

 Ronald Kay had a good idea:

 Let's put both candidates on live TV when they find out who really won.

 Let's see who takes it like a man, and who crumbles and cries,
 "But Daddy! You promised!!!"

From:  pajessb@email.msn.com

Subject: You were right

Hey BartCop:

You were right. Many months ago, when Gore was just getting his campaign in gear,
you said with some concern: "He's running away from Clinton!!!"  And his choice of
Lieberman was another example of that (though, at the end of the day, I liked JoeL).
From the start, Gore should have used the economy and Clinton (his strengths)
to his advantage. But, he didn't.

Gore NEVER used the one man that could have helped him with strategy and planning.
The man who was a MASTER at it. Certainly Hillary used Bill's advice..and look what
happened to her in the face of overwhelmingly hostile attacks. She WON.

There were other factors, of course...the fact that the whore press despised Gore for
his 'stiffness' and brains. (Thanks, NY TIMES for the 'support', after weeks of slanted
anti-Gore coverage) They gave Smirk a limosine ride.  Nader's GOFP-encouraged run
- and the idiots who supported him. (Rot in HELL, Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins)

And of course, the whole Florida Jeb-engineered bait-and-switch
(directed by Smirk senior, of course). Let's see if that gets investigated.


But I fear that most of the brunt must fall on Gore.
Angry but realistic,


I agree.
Win or lose,
Gore ran a very Bob Dole-campaign.
To this day, he's never used the big hammer.


 If you're a sadist, you can hear live updates at  CNN.com

 I'm surprised how little mail I have this morning.
 Either something's broke again, or everybody's hungover.

 No sense in saying it was a strange night.

 We were supposed to lose this one.
 The GOP kept talking "landslide."
 Smirk was so cocky, he stopped campaigning full-time and played
 video games and went to bed early while Gore was up 48 hours
 in a row working crowds and giving speeches.

 So we all got together, and a party broke out when Gore won Florida,
 Michigan and Pennsylvania. The media said if Gore won those, he won.

 Toasts were made, and made.
 Tim the Whore (before they stole Florida back) said Smirk had to win
 ten of the last eleven states to have a chance.    Time to celebrate.

 The early high-hopes caused your ediotr to mis-allocate the evening's agave flow.
 Figuring on a quick knockout, it was bottom's up.
 We were all startled by a large "POP" as the networks pulled their heads
 out of their asses and decided Gore's Florida was "too close to call."

 Smirk continued to win toothless states.

 Eventually, they gave Florida to Smirk, then the whole race.
 We heard a second loud "POP" as the networks took Florida back again.

 How will it end?
 I'll bet the answer is in my mail.

Another GOP Felony

Full Story

November 7th, 2000 - A day that will live in infamy.
Am I talking about the "election" of George W. Bush?

No, I'm referring the conservative media's acceptance of Bush's victory.
The 32 electoral votes from the State of Texas cannot be cast for a ticket
where both the candidates come from the same state.

Cheney tried to weasel out of the legal requirement by rushing to change his
voter registration from Texas to Wyoming (after being appointed the VP pick).
But Cheney's homestead tax exemption was applied to his Texas residence.

By federal law, this exemption may only be applied to the legal primary residence.
So either Cheney broke Federal tax law (and is a felon, and cannot serve),
or the election of Bush and Cheney together is illegal.

This is one of those deals everybody knew about in July.
But the whore press sat on it so the problem would get bigger and bigger.

The Drudge-led press sets a new whore record.

Ditto-monkeys, consoling each other, waiting for news...

 Here's another shocker...

 Tom Osborn won in Nebraska?
 What are the odds the GOP would run a know-nothing candidate
 who's only acheievements have been with a football?

 From: Dave.Hardison@co.orange.fl.us

 Subject: Hangover

I finally had to take some sleeping pills last night.  I felt like taking a
whole bottle, but I don't want to do anything to make the lying, cheating,
election-racketeering, absentee-ballot-swindling, fraud-scheming,
precinct-box-stuffing, vote-buying, scam-sucking, snake-oil-peddling
bastards that run this worthless excuse for a state happy.  ("We're looking
for the ballots now."  Jeeesus, Joseph and Mary.)

The local paper -The Orlando Sentinel ("Slantinel") - already printed an
edition with "IT'S BUSH" in four-inch high letters.  I hope they have to eat
every single one of those.  They gave up trying to be fair and unbiased
about a month ago.  I hope President Gore declares martial law long enough
to storm the Sentinel building, drag all those partisan lackeys out into the
street and beat them with their own worthless rag of a newspaper.

Or maybe the sleeping pills are just finally starting to kick in.

As soon as I get home, to where speech is still free, I will go straight to
The Latest to catch up on uncensored news.

Good luck!
The Latest is very confused today...

 Vic offers to settle

 That ditto-spank where I work, Vic, told me he'd
 settle our 50/100 bet for $40 if I paid him right now.

 ha ha

 I'll takle my hundred tomorrow.

 From: csrncdt@home.com


 BIG MOUTH  LOSER!!!!!!!!!!

 Chris & Charlotte

 Chris & Charlotte,
 I'm guessing you don't own a TV.
 Did somebody tell you your side won something?

 ha ha

 By the way, you have a lovely family.
 Which one's Chris, and which is Charlotte?

Maybe I should suspend my non-belief in prayer until this is over?

Florida should call Runoff Election

The closeness of this election is quite troubling for America in that it
is so close that no matter who wins, the opposing side will always question
the outcome. There are enough election irregularities to call into question
a number of votes greater than the difference in the ballot count. In a
situation like this I don't think that there is a clear winner in a legal
sense, and certainly not a clear winner in the minds of the voters. As
a Gore voter, I will not accept a Bush victory under these circumstances.
Similarly, if Gore were declared the winner, I would expect Bush voters
not to accept the election results either.

In the spirit of a definitive result, I call on the Florida Secretary of
State, the Florida Attorney General, and the judges of Florida to declare
this election a tie and order a runoff election.

Additionally, I think it's clear that the time to amend the Constitution and
eliminate the electoral college has come. We need a system that more accurately
reflects the will of the voter, and with new technology available, lets fix the system.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco Ca. 94112



More Mail

More Mail

 A letter from Mr. Democrat, Michael Moore:

 My fellow Americans -- we have to set aside our differences
regarding Gore and Nader and demand, IMMEDIATELY DEMAND,
that Bush step aside and not claim the Presidency based on this insane ancient
Electoral College. The Electoral College was designed by the founding fathers
who wrote it into the Constitution along with this rule: only white men who
owned property and paid taxes would be allowed to vote.

Hey, Mikey!
Nobody cares what you think.

Your boy Nader caused  this trouble, dumbass!

We have to set aside our differences?
No, you have to explain your traitorous actions.
Good luck on your career, Bush kingmaker.

We won't forget you, Michael.
We won't forget what your boy Nader did to us.
If you're ever on TV again. let me know so I can put up a VCR Alert
for whatever is up against your me-me-me-me-me-me selfish ass.

I know, why don't you dump your wife like a good Republican and marry Paula Jones?
You two seem right for each other.

Two whores, out to fuck the Democrats.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the best issue ever.

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