Volume 328 - Tight but Noose

 November 14, 2000

 The Adam Clymer Fan Club
     (Bush's major-league asshole)

 Click  Here

 To the person reading  bartcop.com  in Brunei Darussalam:

 If you're a "regular Joe," send me some e-mail.
 Tell me about your country and President Clinton's trip - is he still there?

 If you're the Sultan, please send me $3 million and I will say good things
 about you and your country on my weekly television program.

 Thank you,

 Make it Stop!

 Click  Here

 Texas back in play?
  It keeps getting better.

 Click  Here

 Bush the Elder - Statesman or Criminal?
  We learn more about the big story

 Two eyewitnesses – an Israeli intelligence official named Ari Ben-Menashe and a
 pilot named Heinrich Rupp – placed Bush in Paris for a meeting on Oct. 19, 1980.

 Bush has denied making such a trip but has never explained what he was doing that day.
 His alibi, based on partially censored Secret Service records, has not been credibly
 supported by a single witness who could recall Bush’s movements during the hours
 that a trip to Paris would have required.

 Click  Here  to open this immense can of worms.
 Seriously, do you know who chaired the House investigation into Iran-Contra?

 Dick Cheney

 Another excerpt:
 In the final days of the Bush administration, Dick Cheney’s Defense
 Department ordered the collection of all [Iran-Contra] documents.
 The manuals and other materials were brought to a central location
 and systematically destroyed.

 Around the same time as the destruction of the [Iran-Contra] records,
 President Bush was completing the long-running cover-up of the
 Iran-contra scandal. On Christmas Eve 1992, he issued pardons to
 Caspar Weinberger and five other Iran-contra defendants.

 The pardons effectively ended the Iran-contra investigation and spared
 leading Republicans, including Gen. Colin Powell, the embarrassment of
 having to testify at the Weinberger trial about their earlier deceptions.

 Why were they allowed to get away with these serious crimes?
 The crimes had nothing to do with Clinton's cock, that's why.

 From: aadrian@tampabay.rr.com

Why should her vote mean more than the votes of 50,000,000 Americans?

Write to her: Tell her America should have FREE elections.
Tell her this "friend of Jeb's" election crap isn't right.

To: secretary@mail.dos.state.fl.us

 Ladies and Gentlemen:
 The most accurate and true e-mail ever.

 From:  rwireman@peoplepc.com

 Subject: Liberals

 The political right nearly succeeeded in impeaching Bill Clinton;
 Now they have stolen the election from Al Gore.

 What will liberals do?

 They simply don't have the determination and organization the right wingers have.
 Unlike conservatives, liberals have a life outside politics and religion.
 Liberals are pussies.

 True, true, true, true, true.

 Would rather go to their wine and cheese fests instead of fighting.
 Liberals will bitch and moan about the poor, the environment and
 military spending but will continue to support the system.

 Liberals will forget all about this by July 4, 2001.
 The repubs will widen their lead in congress in 2002.
 You have heard the last from Nader till the repubs need another puppet in 2004.
 By then the liberals will have forgotten and will be jumping on Ralphie's bandwagon again.

 I hope I'm wrong.
 But history says I'm right.

 Dick, in flying monkey land.....

 Dick, I wish we had more like you, buddy.
 You are correct, liberals don't know how to fight.
 I'm convinced that's why there are no liberals on the radio
 or on those cable TV talk shows - they don't know how to fight.

 We prefer to lay down and let the GOP take what they want.
 Thank Koresh for Bill Clinton, who reminded us what a fighter looks like.
 But we won't see his like again.

 A shot of Chinaco to Richard for telling the cold, hard truth.

 From: TinRoofRusted@aol.com

 Subject: Largent - boxers or briefs?

 I remember seeing a still picture from an underwear ad that Steve Largent had done
 with his young son.  But for some reason I cant find any information about it on the web...
 Do you know of this or know where I might get a copy of  this picture?

 Yes, I remember that, too.
 That was before the Great Cock Hunt.

 ALL  POINTS  BULLETIN for that picture!
 Wasn't it Hanes or Fruit of the Loom?

 We gotta get that picture.
 Largent thinks he should be K-Drag's governor when Keating
 goes to Washington to be Smirk's Attorney General.

 Thirteen Myths about the 2000 Election

 Click  Here

 From: (withheld)

 This is listed in the quote's section of Rush's brilliant web-site:

 "After a week of this, I just don't know how many admirers Algore
   is going to have. There is nothing that has changed from the Algore
   of the last three years, five years, eight years. He is the same man today.
   All of this is happening at his direction."

 Why is Rush now claiming that Al Gore never changes, when he spent the past
 year claiming that Al Gore changes every 15 minutes?

 Joseph, good point.
 Rush uses the same tricks as Dr Laura.
 Since they never are accountable for anything they say, they're free to flip-flop
 and reverse their positions from one minute to the next.

 It's like Rush saying "Gore is the biggest liar of all time," after spending 8 years saying,
 "Clinton was the biggest liar of all time."

 That's why Laura never allows a caller to call a second time,
 and why Pigboy is the most tightly-screened radio show in America.
 They are both total and complete frauds.

 I could drink a half bottle of Chinaco and still out-debate either of them
 even while being distracted by receiving oral sex from Ann Coulter.
 They are both total and complete frauds.

 More on the Fox Whore Fiasco

 Bush Cousin Made Florida Vote Call For Fox News


 Click  Here

 Being a media whore is a bad, bad thing.

 In yet another bizarre twist  to an already surreal campaign, the head of
 Fox News's Election Night decision desk – who recommended calling Florida,
 and the election, for George W. Bush – turns out to be Bush's first cousin.

Gore regains lead in New Mexico
 By Chaka Ferguson

Nov. 14, 2000 | ALBUQUERQUE (AP) -- Al Gore regained the lead in New Mexico
after picking up 500 votes in Dona Ana County on Tuesday, where officials had misread
an absentee total.

Gore now leads Smirk by 374 votes, though New Mexico's five electoral votes are not
enough to give either candidate the presidency.

Gore moved ahead after a seesaw week in which his Election Night lead of 6,000-plus votes
dwindled in the following days, giving Bush a narrow advantage.

The latest change gave Gore 286,389 statewide to 286,015 for Smirk.

But the oversight in Dona Ana County, where election workers misread a 620-vote absentee
total for a precinct, mistaking the figure as 120, put the state back in Gore's favor.
"They wrote a six that looked like a one. That's where the 500 for Gore comes from,"
Dona Ana County Clerk Rita Torres said late Monday from Las Cruces.

Bush's Cousin Monitored Vote for Fox News
  By JEFF LEEDS, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

A cousin of Smirk played a key role in the election night decision by Fox News Channel
to call the race for the Texas governor, prompting them to lead a stampede of networks
in declaring Smirk the president-elect.

Full, sad story

 Fairness for Whom?

 Is there a Republican official anywhere in the country who is concerned
 about the fact that many thousands of honest voters in Florida have apparently
 been thwarted in their effort to vote for the candidate of their choice?

 Click  Here

By the way,
This is a link to Kevin Cunningham's excellent 'toon page.

     Click on it.

 Sad GOP Quotes

"For thirty minutes,
 I was the mother of a president, and it was wonderful."
   -- Babs Bush

From:  ksaftl@worldnet.att.net

Subject: Catherine Harris

Just a rumor:

Jeb & Catherine Harris are having an affair, check it out if you can

Robert H

From: LordStarFyre@aol.com

Subject: Katherine Harris, Fla. Sec. of State

Hey Bartcop;

Have you seen this outrage?

The LONG TIME Republican, Reich Wing, Bush supporter,
Sec. of State from Florida has decided NOT to extend the deadline
for accepting votes from the current re-count.

Gee, I wonder if Jeb has anything to do with her actions...

Here's a picture of this Reich Wing, String of Pearl wearing, Big Haired Bimbo...
We ALL need to fight this, otherwise it's for years of Dumbya in the White House...

Lord StarFyre

Lord, are you sure?
She doesn't look like a whore.
And Jeb Bush?  he's a good, honest guy, right?
He'd never be involved in anything like wife-swapping or ballot-fixing.
Would he?
Surely all those stories of him and Smirk smuggling a kilo of Peruvian
marching powder are just political chicanery, right?

After all, they were raised by George herbert-herbert Bush, the former
head of the CIA and international weapons dealer to terrorist nations.

 What did Prescott Bush know about the Boston Strangler murders?

 Click  Here

Bernard Shaw to leave CHN

NEW YORK (AP) - Bernard Shaw, senior idiot at CHN's news desk and a 20-year
veteran of journalistic incompetence said he will leave the network early next year to
spend more time with his family. Shaw, 60, told viewers about his decision Friday at the
end of "Inside Politics," the daily show where he expresses the most inane and bullshit-laden
ideas with clueless co-anchor Judy Woodruff.

"It's time for me to step back," said the Baghdad pants-wetter. "It's time I give a younger,
 smarter and better-looking person a chance to spew their personal bias."

Along with Larry King and Christiane Amanpour, Shaw is the most visible schmuck on the
Cock-Hunting Network. He's been there since the beginning, leaving a job at ABC News
to join CHN when it started in 1980. ABC released a statement saying, "Bernard Shaw
is a decent human being, but he's an inept hack and we don't want his ass back."

Behind the scenes scuttlebut says Shaw is being fired for breaking his pledge to CHN
not to embarrass them in the vice presidential debates the way he did in 1988 when he
asked Mike Dukakis what his reaction would be if his wife was raped, murdered, fileted
and roasted on a spit for 12 hours.  This year, he looked Dick Cheney right in the eye
and said, "You are black," infuriating CHN partisans trying to get Smirk elected.

A visibly shaken Cheney stutterred and stumbled through an indignant denial before
finally answering the question with, "I can't even conceive of being black."

The Shaw family has asked that, in lieu of flowers, donations be sent to the
United Negro College Fund to prevent this shit from ever happening again.

 Margaret Shemo stops pounding Doc Screech long enough
 to give Michael Moore a couple of shots Nov 9th..

From: mshemo@hotmail.com
To:  Michael Moore mmflint@aol.com

Subject: Congratulations!

Ralph Nader ("Nadir") is uniquely responsible for the presidency of GeorgeW. Bush
-- and you cheered him on from the sidelines.  Your cowardly whimpering about the
electoral college doesn't fool anybody.  Dubya didn't steal this election, Nadir robbed Gore.

Go ahead, Mike, "IMMEDIATELY DEMAND that Bush step aside and not claim the
Presidency" with his 270+ electoral votes.  Excuse me if I don't join you in this fool's errand,
but you're just the poor-excuse-for-a-man for the job.  Knock yourself out -- try to argue
that the Constitution should be treated like a nuisance regulation that no one in his right mind
would try to enforce.

The majority of the great American electorate, who twice elected that boob Reagan, couldn't
resist voting for an even bigger boob or throwing away their votes.  The progressives in this
country are more self-indulgent and foolish than the right-wing nuts who agree with Buchanan
but were too smart to vote for him.  The supporters of Dubya and Nadir combined to beat
Gore -- the terrible politician, the conservative Democrat,  who was ALSO the most
progressive candidate who had any chance to win.  Jesus Christ would have been better than
Al Gore, too, and the fact that He'd been buried before election day wouldn't have bothered
the voters, but Mr. Christ wasn't on the ballot!  THE SAVIOR COULDN'T WIN THIS YEAR!

If Nadir had urged his supporters to vote for the lesser of two necessary evils in every
battleground state on the day before the election, Al Gore would have gotten at least the
1,000 votes he needed to beat Bush in Florida.  That's a fact, and I for one will never forget it.
From this day forward, all that I will have to hear is that Nadir approves of something or
supports somebody, and I will oppose that something or that somebody, no questions asked.
To me, "Green" now means "Stop."  Need I add that I will never waste another minute and
as much as a penny on any product that bears your name?

What you don't grasp, even now, is that by voting for Gore, many Americans WERE voting
against their own economic interests, many Americans WERE voting in favor of social justice!
If you imagine that in defeat, the Democratic Party will move to the left, in desperate pursuit
of Nadir's three percent and further away from the 49 percent that went for Bush, you're even
less intelligent than you are attractive.  But at least, your heart is pure.

Margaret Shemo

ha ha

 Damn, Kevin Cunningham's been crankin' 'em out, but they got buried in the pile.
 I sure hope that new system works.  Sorry, Kevin.

From: christopher.lyman@lawson.com

Subject: Last Saturday at the state capitol

I don't know if you are aware of this, but people are organizing
protests, demonstrations, etc. on line.  If Smirk succeeds in stealing
this election, he will have to deal with four years of very noisy

Anyway, about 30 of us showed up for a protest at the Minnesota State
Capitol; pretty good turnout on less than 24 hour notice, if you ask me.
A couple of reporters for the local newspapers and a film crew from the
NBC affliate went through the motions of writing a story about this seeming "non-event".

Then, the most amazing thing happened!  A charter bus carrying a delegation from the
Republic of Georgia (the former Soviet republic, not the home of Gingrich/Barr) pulled up,
and the people made a bee line for our group as soon as they got off the bus.  They came
for a tour of the capitol building, but they found our activities much more interesting.
Some of them spoke English and we had a very animated discussion about the situation
in Florida. Turns out that their purpose here was to observe how we conduct elections here!

They were very well informed about the Florida fiasco, and were even up to speed on some
of the more humorous and ironic aspects, like Fidel Castro offering to monitor the election.
To make a long story even longer, they were accompanied by a film crew from a different
local station, who put a fairly positive spin on the story when it aired on the 6 pm news.

You should make your readers aware that People for the American Way are
organizing opposition to the Bush-Cheney coup.



Chris, any relation to Josh?
Thanks for the tip.

 A picture of Kate Hudson  for no damn reason

 Great Men of the Cloth Quotes

 From: SanoLushis@aol.com

 Subject: Swear to Koresh...

 Tonight Pat Robertson was on the 700 club yapping his Biblehole and, no shit, he said....

 "South Palm County is one of the two most affluent neighborhoods in America.
   It's not like Watts or Harlem where the blacks are illiterate and can't spell.
   For these people to say they can't read is just too bad."

  Yeah Pat, that's mighty fucking Christian of you.

 "I'm asking you, as Christian Americans, to fast and pray tomorrow
   so God can work this mess out. ....We cannot let them steal the election...
   If the Electoral College votes for Gore, it will not be the will of the people,
   the popular vote, it will subvert the Constitutionally-protected voting process"

  and.......then he asked for a bunch of money. BUT, the point is,
  what, in Koresh's name is he talking about?


  I think he's saying God needs a tax cut.

 Have you ever been to the Columbus Day Riot site?

 It makes  bartcop.com  look like Roger Clinton.

 Click  Here

 From: dirosnic@unity.ncsu.edu

 Subject:  Heard it on Rivera...

 Regarding CHAD counting, in court:
 "Pregnancy doesn't matter -- only penetration."


 ha ha

 Only the people paying attention will get it,
 but that's funny as hell.

 From: themillers@fcol.com

 Subject: You truly are a stupid person

 You truly are a stupid person.
 I guess you never learned that Clinton was being impeached for perjury,
 not for getting a blow-job.

 Ralph or Susie Miller

 Clinton was not impeached for perjury - I can prove it.
 He was impeached for kicking ass on two GOP war heroes.

  If they had asked Clinton,
 "Did you have oral sex with Monica on Oct 4, Nov 10, Nov 28 and Dec 12?"
 Clinton would've known he was caught, and he might have said "Yes."

 But nooooooooooooo.
 They asked him, "Did you have sexual relations as defined by DC law?"

 Do you know what a dictionary is?


 Click on that - I dare you - I double dare you.
 According to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, when you look up
 "sexual relations," it says "See coitus."    Under "coitus," it says:

 physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic
 movements usually leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis
 into the female reproductive tract;

 Clinton told the truth, if words mean things.
 And if Webster can't be trusted, there's no such thing as perjury.
 He did not fuck her.
 She called him "The Creep" because he refused to fuck her.
 (Weren't you paying attention? It was only a couple of years ago...)
 Bill Clinton was found in contempt for telling the goddamn truth.

 They intentionally asked him a gray-area question so the ditto-monkey congress
 could have a reason to investigate Bill Clinton's cock for the next two years.
 Remember, Bob Barr started drafting impeachment papers BEFORE Monica,
 before the "perjury," before everything because they were going to impeach him.
 All they needed was a flimsy excuse and a bunch of gullible people like you.

 That's why impeachment failed - because the public saw thru the horseshit
 the screwing-their-secretary-at-the-time Republicans tried to pull on us.

 Rush has done well with you, my friend.

 From: jmr@jmrtech.com

 Subject: state laws, packing heat, and democrats

Hi there.
I came across your site doing a web search for info on the elections.
I started reading through it, and before I knew it an hour had gone by.
You are one sick, twisted individual.  For this you must be commended.

But one thing I can't understand is this almost nauseating admiration you have
for the Democrats.  What is that about? (1)

I was opposed to all the impeachment nonsense that went on in '98.
I thought the Republicans, Ken Starr, and that mutant slug Linda Tripp conducted
themselves in a shameful if not criminal manner.  In the end, all they proved was that
Clinton cheated on his wife, which we already knew before Ken Starr spent forty
million dollars and made us afraid to smoke cigars.

ha ha

Today I go to your site and there is a rant about state laws, and how silly they are.
At first this annoys me, because I am opposed to a strong Federal government.
(Name something they have taken over and NOT screwed up.)  (2)

But then I see the reason you are upset about this is because of anti-gun laws.
Hey, I hate anti-gun laws too!  That's why I won't vote for your goddamn Democrats.

How do you reconcile the two?
Every time some jackass picks up a gun and shoots some people, I see your favorite
politicans on TV blathering on about how we need to pass more laws... even though
what these people are doing is OBVIOUSLY already illegal.
Can you explain that one to me?  (3)
You appear to be on the same wavelength as these nimrods.

Sign me,
John in Seattle, who voted Libertarian across the board this year.

First of all, thanks for the argument.
One of my favorite things is to kick an issue around and see where
the other guys wants to draw the line, and why.

(1) I am primarily opposed to the vulgar Pigboy Limba.
     Democrats have flaws, but we don't hate blacks and gays and we don't
     condemn abortion then pay for one (Barr) We don't impeach a president
     for adultery while screwing our secretary (Gingrich) We don't belong to
     the KKK or the CCC (too many to list) and we don't ask the invisible
     ghost for help whenever there's a huge problem - at least I don't.

     In this country you're either Demo or repub.
     That Nader - Reform stuff is bullshit and now everybody knows it.
     I'm not sure about the almost nauseating admiration you mentioned.
     Clinton is like Willie Mays, Walter Payton or Michael Jordan.
     I enjoy watching him fly.
     If you think he's not hell to watch, we should schedule a second fight.

(2) Forgive me, but that's goofy talk.
     We are the United States, not the "Fifty States North of Mexico."
     States are like teenagers. They think they're soooooo independent,
     but they come running back to mommy when they need something.
     Ever see an old movie where they rob a bank, then run to the state line
     and laugh at the cops because state laws prevented cops from chasing
     them across state lines?

     If your son is kidnapped, who you gonna call?
     Deputy Fife or the FBI?

     If there's an outbreak of Ebola or Legionairre's disease, who you gonna call?
     Old Doctor Wilson or the CDC?

     If you have any examples of stuff the states do better than the feds, we'd have
     something to debate. Take away college football and I'm not sure why we
     even need 50 individual states.

(3) This is the easiest one.
      The Demos want to prevent the shootings.
      The Repubs want more guns, more guns, more guns in churches, stadiums and courts,
      and when the guy goes nuts and kills 30 people, they want him executed with a smirk.

     The Demo way, we've lost a measure of freedom.
     The Repub way, we've lost our children and neighbors.
     What price freedom?

     Don't think I'm a gun-grabber, I cocked my Glock this morning.
     But "more, more, more" guns is insanity.
     I carry one because the other son of a bitch has one.
     We don't need unlimited guns and we don't need guns everywhere.
     My Glock fires 3 shots a second.
     If 14 shots in five seconds won't save me and my family,
     I'm probably going to die even if I'm in the NRA.

     Gun laws work - in countries with less than 100,000,000 guns.
      I have guns, but I'm not a gun nut.

From: donsem@concentric.net

Subject: Why I read Bartcop

It's for this kind of stuff:

> The myriad of pyramid schemes of different "gates" came up drier than Kato Burn
> watching Gone With the Wind  in the dark with a vibrator and a nice Chianti.


Keep up the GREAT work.


 The Rape of the Constitution:   Why Al Gore Must Not Concede
  by Christian Mitchell-Livemore

 Click  Here

 From a poster over at Salon's Table Talk:

 The long, weary dragging on will cause unbelievable stress in the Bush camp.
 Nerves are on end. Tempers are rising. In the near future, days maybe the
 stress will be too much. GWB will start cracking, he'll start sleeping in a
 fetal position. He start drinking Listerine to get a alcohol buzz, when that
 stops working he'll start huffing household cleaners in the Jeb's bathroom.

 At the breaking point, GWB will start a fight with Jeb.

 "Goddammit, lil brother. You promised the state and now things are fucked.
  You lying SOB!"

 Punches will be thrown, old sibling rivalries will erupt. GWB will get Jeb in
 a hammer lock and start pounding Jeb's head on the floor of the Governor's mansion.

 Jeb, terrified at the pyschotic devil-dog look in GWBs eyes, and fearing for his life,
 will reach for the loaded handgun he keeps as a souvenir gift from Charlton Heston.

 "Stop hitting me, George!", screams Jeb.

 "What, you gonna shoot me? Me? Me? I've always been stronger than you, fucker!
  Remember, Mom always said 'I got the body and you got the brains."

 Jeb's hand slowly rises, takes aim...

 ha ha

 Thanks, TB

 Things are so tense, we need a Page Two Girl.
  She was a bell saver, then she got a new zip code.

 Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was the best issue ever.

 Go Home to  bartcop.com


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