Volume 331 - Rocks and Coyotes

 November 17, 2000

 Tally Briggs - Actress at Large

 Click  Here

 Why is that Mickey Mouse glove on your right hand?
 Do you think Mickey can help you win Florida that way?
 Governor, stop doing that to yourself!!!

 Governor, what if the the children see you doing that?

 Paul Begala

The Gore campaign has gotten better and better as this thing has gone on.
I was not impressed with Gore's performance in the early days of this -- he seemed too stilted
and formal, understandably nervous.   But today Gore was more relaxed, more conversational,
more serene than ever.  His aides and advisers tell me that he's the most calm guy in the room,
and having served with Gore in the White House I can attest to his calm under fire.
He can be a royal pain when there's not much going on, but when the fur is flying he's terrific.
He gets like an astronaut or fighter pilot -- the more stress the better.
Think about how he tended to fade every time he was in the lead in the campaign,
only to rally himself and his troops when he was behind.

Bush is the opposite.
He's a great frontrunner; back-slapping, wise-cracking, smooth as silk.
But when he gets behind, he presses.
He's hiding out at the ranch -- and for good reason.
After Gore made his magnanimous offer to have a statewide recount, he took three hours and
forty-five minutes to pull himself together (and to travel from the ranch to the Mansion in Austin).
And after all that time he gave a three-minute talk that looked more like a hostage video
than a president-to-be.

ha ha

Bush's team has also been hampered and hamstrung by its own arrogance.  Instead of rushing
to call for a recount in counties in which they were strong, they planned parties, staged silly
White House-wannabe photo ops -- which looked like the Dulles High School drama club's
staging of "West Wing."  Now that the Supreme Court has taken away their right to party this
weekend, they're behind.  And they're not good at comebacks.

ha ha

Go, Paul!

From:   kesty@becon.org

Subject: Dirt coms from dirty people

Gore after Clinton will relay put America on the map.
One liar after the other will bring you stupid people what you deserve.
The difference between the democrats and the republicans clearly indicated on your
bartcop page, which is dirt,smut, and following your leaders,pure lies.
I wish you a big Cuban cigar ,preferably the one your fearless leader used in Monica.

I hope
You get what you deserve.

Nick Keszthelyi

 We report,
 Smirk explains



...sent in by  The Brew  and  Bernie

Today's Page Two Girl is an actress
She's not a witch, she doesn't fight vampires and she has no super-powers.

Click  Here

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 New Feature
Tally Briggs - Actress at Large
Tally has agreed to be our eyes and ears in Hollywood.
Contact her at bardgal@yahoo.com


Friday, November 17, 2000

Ok kids, if you haven't caught the new CBS crime drama CSI - Crime Scene Investigation,
you are really missing some great television.  This smartly written, brilliantly shot and well acted
drama centers around the Las Vegas Police Department's Crime Scene Investigations bureau,
which is the second busiest crime lab in America.

With a great ensemble cast headed by William L. Peterson and Marge Helgenberger,
this team takes on what most crime labs give up on. With Executive Producer Jerry Bruckheimer's
slick touch at the helm, this show has a rare polished quality rarely scene on television.
I highly recommend it.

Of course there is The Beatles Revolution on ABC......
but this looks - well, I don't have that much time in my schedule.

Also The Reverend Al Sharpton is on Chris Rock on HBO tonight,
and if it is anything remotely as funny as it was last week, I'll be in pain.
Will Wanda Sykes still be in front of that map???

Visit Tally's page at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Trailer/8097/
 I have more of her stuff, I just needed to get this up before CSI comes on.

 Timely GOP Quotes

"Fuck the Jews. They didn't vote for us"

 -- Daddy Bush's Secretary of State, James Baker,
     as quoted by Ed Koch in the New York Post, 1992
     by Voltai29@geocities.com   a non-whore news service

Editor's note: In my never-ending search for a Republican to debate,
I invited Paul to pick a subject and wail away.

From: pmjagielski@yahoo.com

Subject:  Rebuttal


Whenever I click on your page IÆm reminded of the line from the Beatles ôStrawberry Fieldsö:
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you seeà
I think perhaps itÆs time for the Doctor to up your dosage.

Throwing down the gauntlet - good start.

 This entire election debacle being perpetrated on the American people has been
manufactured by the power hungry Democrats. Your boy Gore lost fair and square, face it.
What we are witnessing now is the attempted theft of the Presidency by Al Gore who cares as
much about you and your liberty as he does the truth. And because the Republicans wonÆt lie down
and let the Gorons march over them, the Democrats have become a bunch of sniveling crybabies.

Maybe I'm just in a calm mood, but I see it differently.
The number one thing everyone has to remember is the problem is this is an impossibly-close election.
TIME whore magazine said this race will be decided by one-five thousanth of one percent.
I admit, I didn't check their math, but I checked the quote - that's what they said.

If it was 53% to 47%, there's be no talk of chads or absentee ballots.
The problem didn't start with left vs right, but with fractions too tiny to see.
That's what made every damn ballot priceless.
That's why we need to pick up the ballots that the machine rejected.
Like someone said, how many times have you put a valid bill in a Coke machine
only to have the Coke machine say, "That's not a valid diollar bill."
We both know it was valid, and that a cashier would accept that bill.

And whatÆs your argument?
ôKatherine Harris is a Republican, ô you whine.
ôThe Governor is a Republicanö, you whimper.
ôThere are Republicans making decisions,ö you moan.
The only way youÆd be happy is if all the Florida ballots could be loaded in a
U-Haul and driven off to some doublewide in Little Rock by 500 bloated
New York Democrat lawyers who, in the morning, emerge to declare a Gore landslide

With Bush's brother running the state, and his co-chair playing referee,
can't you understand why Democrats want a taint-free re-count?
If you check my live coverage of the night, the networks mentioned that
thousand of Gore votes seemed to go to Buchanan. If Bush wins by 300,
and everyone admits thousands of votes are questionable, can't you see the
reason why we don't give up so quickly?
You can say, "Picky, picky" but the stakes are high.

The problem for you guys is we are a country of laws. And that pesky Constitution
thing keeps butting in. Democrats believe laws donÆt win elections, but millions of
illegal aliens and cigarette smoking homeless bums do.

I like the Constitution, too, but this has never come up before.
Nothing in the Constitution addresses what we do when a Miami cop is holding
a box of ballots at a Miami Police evidence room and Bush wins by 300 votes.
How do you see the Constitution settling that score?
Besides, no responsible person in America thinks a winner can be declared
until the 3,000 (approx) mail ballots are opened.
You seem overly certain your guy's victory is in the history books.

 You continually defend the indefensible. The Secretary of State of Florida agrees to follow
the law and sheÆs called a whore and a big haired bimbo on your pages. What happened to those
values you had in the 60Æs? Remember when you chanted, ôPower to the Peopleö?
Now itÆs ôPower to the Government, the people are too stupidö.

Power to the people?
Gore won the popular vote - no dispute about that.
If I were you, I'd let that argument collect dust.
Don't hand your opponent any ammunition.

ôYou become what you hateö, was never truer.
While you were busy patting yourself on the back for being a caring Democrat, the Democrats
went and changed on you, Bartcop. And they invented the welfare state, housing projects and handouts,
all so they could have a voter base. And because you never noticed, youÆre helping usher in a form
a Dictatorship more insidious than Stalinism, and you donÆt even know it.

Funny you'd use the word "dictator."
If Smirk wins this because Jeb and Katherine the Grate say so,
and the people disagree with Smirk's bed-partners,
I predict the word "dictator" will be in the news a lot.

I could go on, but I doubt you want to waste so much bandwidth on a guy who doesnÆt march in
lock step with James Carville and Molly Ivins. IÆd love to write more but I donÆt think you or
your readers have the stomach for it and besides, I wouldnÆt want to bruise your self-esteem.

Paul Jagielski
West Hartford,CT

Paul, you must keep in mind that, regardless of the electoral college, more people
voted for Gore, so if anyone is in lockstep with Carville and Ivins - it's the voters.
I have a feeling our second debate will be hotter than this one.

 Mail Bag going Crazy

 Click  Here

 Some good stuff in there...

 Did you see the James Baker press conference last night?

  "Governor Bush conducted the original count, which Governor Bush's
   cousin called for Governor Bush on the Fox Network.
   Governor Bush won that count, fair and square.
   Kathleen Harris conducted the second count, and called it for Governor
   Bush, making her co-chairmanship of thew Bush campaign a success.
   Governor Bush won that count, too, fair and square.
   Now, the Democrats want a third count, conducted by non-Republicans.
   It's as though the Democrats want to keep counting these same ballots
   until they get a result they like. The Democrats think a fair count of the vote
   is the greatest thing since night baseball."

  Now, who could argue with that?

 The nerve of USA TODAY

 Today's headline is, "The Count Goes On."
 Are they even coming to work at USA TODAY?
 Since the news never changes, why should they bother?

 Actually, Mulder has it right - "Trust no one."

 TIME Whore Magazine takes on the Pigboy

 Click  Here

 Pat Buchanan gets the Bat-vote.

 Why did the GOP change their tune?

 Click  Here

Tom Delay, burning in Hell

From (withheld)

Subject: A story about Florida

I thought you might be interested in what the State of Florida
did to my husband and our family.   My husband was a regular working beat cop
n a major Florida city and wanted to run for a local county seat.
He did his 40 plus hours a week and then started his campaign.
Out of no where (or maybe not) the State of Florida tells him he
has to drop out of the race because he's a cop.
He can either run for the office OR be employed by a sheriffs office.
I guess the people in the know in Florida were worried that he would
pull people over and say,  "Well, I won't give you a ticket if you vote for me."

No evidence that he did this, but it's still a state law.
They wanted to be sure he didn't misuse his office or state position for his own personal gain.
Since we, being the true middle class, couldn't afford for him to quit his cop job and lose all
the benefits, he had to drop out.  He was winning surprise, but a law is a law.

Now we have the whore Mrs. Harris doing worst abuse of power then my husband ever did
and she's on the clock to boot!!  She's getting paid, on taxpayer and the tourist dollar,
to abuse her position for personal gain.  I can't believe this shit.

Where is the attorney that took down Microsoft?
He must be aware of this crap.

A working stiff and her family.

 Jerry Falwell (R-Drunken Sex with Mother) sticks his fat, crooked ass into the Florida mess.
 This man isn't a preacher - he's a paid-for whore.

 Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.

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