Volume 344 - Bill me later

 November 30, 2000  Part 1


From: candy@dangerous-minds.com

Subject: Fan Mail

I think we're on opposite sides of the aisle on most everything,
but, I want to say that I enjoy your site - and the dedication that
you put into what you perceive to be the "good fight".
I always click out of your realm with a chuckle.

You adore the Sopranos. I adore the Sopranos.
That automatically makes you an alright guy in my book!
And dare I say, HBO could be the bridge that will connect us all!

Tony, Carmella and Famiglia are a common ground in a time when
even my drycleaner considers me The Enemy after he found a political button
NOT of his liking on my sensible cloth coat!

What a thought.

Thanks bc,

My Grandma voted in Palm Beach...and all I got was this lousy President.
Tipper only wishes she could have a web site as cool as mine.

ha ha

Check out Candy's web site.

From: mikeo@ptwi.net

Subject: Dear Palm Beach Resident

You must truly be a moron.

Next time vote a straight Communist Party ticket,
that way your guy will surely

Mike and Joanie O'Reilly

From: JennyQ1@aol.com

Subject: Noonan

Peggy Pervert writes:

.>> But there's one group that seems to me to have distinguished itself
with its protests, and that is the old silent majority that in its latest
incarnation has refound its voice. And they're not partisans. They're patriots. <<

Hey, stupid c*nt.
Looks like your "silent majority" was not quite "enough" of a majority to prevent
President Gore from winning more AMERICAN VOTES than his retarded opponent, was it?
Go back to praying to Elian's Christ Porpoises.

ha ha

 Great Former Liberal Quotes

 Who is being unreasonable here?
 Who is being stubborn and irresponsible here?
 Who is putting victory ahead of the will of the people?
 Whose selfish ambition is trampling the rule of law?

 Is it Al Gore?
 Is it George W Bush?

 This is a dispute Bush is winning with decibles and repetition.
   -- Michael Kinsley

 Just as I was leaving work Wednesday, Mrs. BartCop told me to stop at the store
 and bring home some groceries. I tried to say no, because I had to stop by the Fed-Ex office
 and I wanted to get home before it got too late, but what choice did I have?
 (You married men know what it's like, right?)

 Trying to save time, I stopped at "Bud's Food Warehouse," to get the damn groceries.
 Just as I'm walking in the store, I see they had a "Smirkendick" sign in their window.
 I don't like to patronize the enemy, but I was in a hurry, so I went in, anyway.

 My orders were to get eggs, milk and chocolate chips for something she's baking.
 I grab the three items and stand in line behind some lady and her screaming kids.
 The little bastard in the shopping cart seat was facing me, and started kicking at me!
 I tried to get the mother's attention, but she was reading Redbook.
 The little bastard was getting on my nerves, trying to kick at me like that.
 Just my luck, I left the Glock in the car.

 Finally, it's my turn to check out. I had cash, so I wouldn't have to bother
 with check verification and stuff, hoping to get right home.

 So this big, beefy dude, could've been the owner, is checking me out.
 Out of nowhere, he starts whining about why Gore won't concede.
 Hey, why me? I don't wear a "Gore" sticker on my forehead or anything.
 Maybe he was f-ing with everybody, who knows?

 I checked the time, I had a few minutes, so I start messing with the guy as he started
 to check me out. "Gore won the popular vote," I mentioned politely.
 Big & beefy didn't like that, so he starts giving me "the rule of law."
 While he's whining, he runs the eggs over the scanner - $1.29
 "If we don't follow the law, we're no better than the animals."

 Then he's going on as he rings up the chocolate chips - $2.89
 "Bush won the first count, he won the second count."

 Then he runs the milk over the scanner, but the scanner didn't beep.
 "Gore wants to count and recount until he gets a total he likes,"
 as he swipes the milk past the scanner a second time.
 Still nothing, so he looked at the UPC code and wiped it clean and manually put the milk's
 bar code numbers in the cash register with a key pad. Then we heard the beep.

 I saw my chance:

 BC: Hey, you already rang that milk up once! What are you trying to pull?

 B&B: What?

 BC: You already counted that milk, why are you trying to count it twice?

 B&B: What are you talking about?

 BC: You already rang up the eggs and the chips and the milk, and now you're
         trying to gouge me by ringing the milk up twice. That's stealing!

 He opened the cash register and checked the tape. It only showed the two items.
 Acting like he had me, B&B tears off the tape and sticks it up to my face.

 B&B: You see? The machine charged you for the eggs and chips, but it didn't
           charge you for the milk, so I had to enter the milk by hand.

 BC: Oh, so you're saying sometimes the machine doesn't count correctly and when that
       happens you have to step in and do it by hand to get an accurate count?

 B&B: (proud that he won the argument) ...yeah, smart guy!

 BC: So when the machine fails to count properly, you have to count it by hand?

 B&B: Yeah, so what's your point?

 ha ha
 His balls were ensconced perfectly inside the BartCop snare.

 BC: Isn't that all Gore is asking for in Florida?
        A fair and accurate hand count of the items the machine failed to count?


 As he laid there, grasping his balls in pain, I dropped a five on the conveyor belt and said,
 "You're right, the machine count is more accurate," and I threw my eggs, my chocolate chips
 and my paid-for milk into a paper bag and walked out the door and drove home.

 The ditto-monkey might've lost a little on the groceries, but he won the argument, right?

 Let me get this straight:

 The undeniable fact is Al Gore won the popular vote,
 but the media whores want us to believe the polls that claim
 60 percent of the people say they want Gore to concede?

 As Seinfeld used to say, 'Who are these people?"
 They voted for Gore, but think he should concede?

 That's horseshit, folks.
 They're trying to put the bag on us.

 Randy Weaver is at the K-Drag Gun show this weekend - again.

 Yep, bring your kids to the Cro-Mag gun show so they can meet Randy Weaver.

 Randy makes it to town at least twice a year to help arm the cave people.
 If he's in K-Drag twice a year, he must be in Kingman five times a year.
 He must be in Boise five times a year, same for Bob Barr's district and Newt's district.
 If you count all the Cro-Mag southern "more guns, less education" cities,
 Saint Randy might be pulling down $250,000 a year.

 He's made a carrer out of George Bush ordering the murder of his wife,
 yet the media keeps telling people Bill Clinton was president in early 1992.

 Just curious - do you know why Randy Weaver came to be famous?
 Because the law found out he was selling sawed-off shotguns to any Gomer
 with a bitch with the local county sheriff or any authority, for that matter.

 It's extremely illegal to sell sawed-off shot guns.
 Do you know why?"

 Shotguns have no ballistics.
 If you murder a county sheriff or an IRS employee with a shotgun, they can't match
 the gun to the victim's body because shotgun pellets have no rifling. And when you
 saw off the barrel to a shotgun, it becomes a monsterously-lethal and untraceable pistol.

 Saint Randy was selling these instruments of death to the whites-only Idaho klan.
 After murdering his wife, Smirk daddy's FBI arrested him, but Saint Randy made bail.
 Saint Randy didn't appear at trial, so the judge ordered him arrested.

 According to every member of the NRA, the President of the United States,
 (They alllll swear it was Clinton) ordered the sharpshooter to murder Weaver's wife,
 but Clinton gets the blame because the GOP ignoratti can't think straight.

 Fact: Bill Clinton became president in 1993.

 But, at least Saint Randy is making a good living off the hit President Bush ordered.

 Today's Page Two Girl

 Click  Here

 Have you seen Betty Bowers interview Eminem?

 Click  Here

 Supermodel Elle McPherson says,

 Don't get behind...

 Read  bartcop.com  every day!

 VCR Alert - West Wing Tonight
 NBC cheats when they promote this show, it's not WW's fault.
 That "Crisis in the Gulf" a few shows back was only 10 percent of the story
 and NBC made it sound like World War III.
 Tonight is a "nuke-u-lar crisis." Homage to Smirk.

 Also, "Ice-boy" comes out of his cube, which is a fraud.
 He's standing inside of, but not touching, the ice.  (See cam above)
 I guarantee he couldn't put his hand in a Coleman Cooler of ice water for 3 days.

 Peggy Noonan, always the bitch

 Click  Here

 Margaret, attack!

 War and Peace
 by Mac McArthur at AMPOL

 Click  Here

 Is it a coincidence?

 Click  Here

 Isn't it Interesting?

 Click  Here

From: bushwon22170@yahoo.com

Subject: Dear Bartcop baboons

All you ignorant bartcop baboon monkeys should realize that Bush (your new white gorilla commander)
Probably DOES HAVE MORE popular votes than Gore if you could include all of the thrown out ballots
that were votes for Bush, but were disqualified he wins the whole country. He plays by the rules.

So I wish your fake phone call making leader would quit pretending that he and Liberman
accually are more popular. AND what’s all this about Clinton’s economy? See what happens when you
get a Republican Congress. Back in the Democrat/Liberal controlled Congress days is when the economy
goes bad, taxes get raised, etc. Just think how good things will be with a REPUBLICAN CONGRESS

Hey younger readers here’s a few questions:
1. Isn’t the FACT that the economy is good is because Republicans are in congress?
2. What specifically did Clinton do to create new jobs?
3. How exactly does the president create companies, business etc. and provide for all the citizens?

Actually the REAL 3 things that Republicans hate are:

1.) The will of physic liberal vote determiners
2.) Not following the rule of law
3.) Bartcop and I especially hate that damn giant volcano thing
     people keep drawing on Bush’s face that I keep seeing on the web


 Joe Conason never strikes out

 Click  Here

 Paul Begala

 To see how he was distorted by the horseshit media  Click  Here

 To see him defend himself  Click  Here

 I haven't read either one.
 I know Paul can defend himself.
 Someday, I'll do a shot of Chinaco Anejo tequila with Paul Begala.
 He's from Texas, I'll bet he doesn't drink Cuervo.

Bush Got Balls

Click  Here

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 Third hour, Pigboy is reading his ditto-mail:

 - Rush, it's BILL O'Reilly, not JIM O' Reilly

 - Rush, it's not the "Hannity Factor."
   It's the "O'Reilly Factor."
   What, did you have a stroke?

 - Rush, you idiot!
   It's not the MSFox network.
   MS owns NBC, not Fox, you moron!

 ha ha

 Even his ditto-spankers realize he's lost his small mind.

 The Big Lie Comes Home

 Reporter: Mr. Cheney, Smirk told us for 18 months that he didn't want "Washington values."
                   Now that he think's he's won, he's stacking his alleged administration with his
                    Daddy's old CIA buddies. How is that NOT "Washington values?"

 Cheney: You mean you fell for that horseshit?
                C'mon, I expect the rubes and morons to buy it, but not you guys...
                You can't be that stupid, can you?
                Oh, fuck!  Oh, Christ!  ...is that microphone on?

                Uh, ...uh, ... of course, ....uh, ...experience counts,    uh, ...
                We,   uh, ...plan to have a, ...broad range of experienced people, uh, ...

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 End of the second hour, Rush keeps talking about "Jim" O'Reilly,
 who comes on right before that prick Hannity and his puppet Colmes.

 Pardon me, Your Oinkness, his name is BILL O'Reilly.
 Those TIA's are coming closer together. Rush.
 Pretty soon, Hannity will have your urine-colored microphone.

Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

Click  Here

 Great Democrat Quotes

 Reporter: Mr. Vice President, what are your chances?

 Gore: I figure my odds be 50-50.

  Homage to Frank

 I've been mostly kidding about the need to own guns, but if Gore pulls this off,
 we're going to see anger like we haven't seen since Vietnam.

 Fox and MCNBC and CNN will have to add new channels to cover
 the whites-only riots if Gore manages to squeak out a victory in the courts.

 Tons o' Mail and 'toons

 Click  Here

 From:   dbaker41@fuse.net

 Pat Caddell must go on the Demo Shit List!
 Proclaiming his liberal credentials last night to Chris Matthews, he said the
 Democratic Party has been hijacked by a bunch of "gangsters!"

 And Pigboy was gleefully playing Caddell sound bites today in the first hour of his rant.
 Why,  oh  why, haven't we learned what the Repugs already know:
 Never surrender, never flinch, never break ranks!

 Can we get  him booted off the West Wing production staff too?


 Good rant,

 Subject: Democratic Shit List

 Permanant Senior Chair at the Traitor's Board:
 George Judas Maximus Steffie

 SOB traitors selling weapons to the enemy:
 Pat Benedict Arnold Caddell - alone in his shame.

 Called for Gore to concede:
 Robert Reich

 Called for Gore to concede, then pulled back:
 Sen. John Breaux
 Sen. Bob Torricelli

From: downingc@webzone.net

Subject: New Political Party

I was a die hard supporter of Al Gore until recently.
At this point I don't think either candidate has acted very "Presidential".
I hate that moron Bush and the Cardiac Kid. Thus I have decided to form my own political party.
It amazes me that Dubya and Al Gore are the best candidates for office that the "Big Parties"
can come up with. They have both demonstrated that they are complete incompetants and neither
one is worthy of our vote for President of the greatest nation on planet earth. One of them is a
smirking idiot that can't even talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and the other
to put it politely has all the charisma of a mannequin. Our party will not nominate a candidate!

Instead we will for our party have placed on the ballot another box which would state
"None of the above, try again" we'll win by a landslide, guaranteed. Hopefully, by taking this
approach, we will actually get a candidate that is competant enough for the job and not a total
moron and loser like the choices for this election. The obvious advantage to this additional choice
on the ballot is that if we had this choice for the most recent election then Clinton would have to
stay in office until a suitable candidate could be found.

At the rate the Democrats and Republicans are going we could would have been
able to look forward to 10 to 15 years of prosperity under the Clinton administration.

for the "Nunya" party!


From:   thegline@thegline.com

Subject:    Supreme Court does something right for once!

Supreme Court Strikes Down Drug Roadblocks

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday  declared
unconstitutional police roadblocks set up to  catch drug offenders, ruling
they violate privacy rights of innocent motorists.

In an important victory for advocates of civil liberties, the high court by a 6-3 vote
ruled against Indianapolis, where police had erected the roadblocks to stop all
motorists in an effort to stop the flow of illegal drugs through the city.

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor declared for the court majority that the checkpoints
violated the constitutional guarantees under the Fourth Amendment protecting against
unreasonable searches and seizures of evidence.

The high court declined to extend its prior rulings, which allowed roadblocks to detect
drunken drivers and to intercept illegal immigrants being smuggled across the U.S. border
by car, to the routine use of  drug checkpoints.
The Gline

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.

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