Subject: Fan Mail
I think we're on opposite sides of the aisle on most everything,
but, I want to say that I enjoy your site - and the dedication that
you put into what you perceive to be the "good fight".
I always click out of your realm with a chuckle.
You adore the Sopranos. I adore the Sopranos.
That automatically makes you an alright guy in my book!
And dare I say, HBO could be the bridge that will connect us all!
Tony, Carmella and Famiglia are a common ground
in a time when
even my drycleaner considers me The Enemy after he found a political button
NOT of his liking on my sensible cloth coat!
What a thought.
My Grandma voted in Palm Beach...and all I got
was this lousy President.
Tipper only wishes she could have a web site as cool as mine.
Check out Candy's web site.
Subject: Dear Palm Beach Resident
You must truly be a moron.
Next time vote a straight Communist Party ticket,
that way your guy will surely
Mike and Joanie O'Reilly
Peggy Pervert writes:
.>> But there's one group that seems to me
to have distinguished itself
with its protests, and that is the old silent majority that in its latest
incarnation has refound its voice. And they're not partisans. They're patriots. <<
Hey, stupid c*nt.
Looks like your "silent majority" was not quite "enough" of a majority to prevent
President Gore from winning more AMERICAN VOTES than his retarded opponent, was it?
Go back to praying to Elian's Christ Porpoises.
Great Former Liberal Quotes
Who is being unreasonable here?
Who is being stubborn and irresponsible here?
Who is putting victory ahead of the will of the people?
Whose selfish ambition is trampling the rule of law?
Is it Al Gore?
Is it George W Bush?
This is a dispute Bush is winning with
decibles and repetition.
-- Michael Kinsley
Just as I was leaving work Wednesday, Mrs.
BartCop told me to stop at the store
and bring home some groceries. I tried to say no, because I had to stop by the Fed-Ex office
and I wanted to get home before it got too late, but what choice did I have?
(You married men know what it's like, right?)
Trying to save time, I stopped at "Bud's
Food Warehouse," to get the damn groceries.
Just as I'm walking in the store, I see they had a "Smirkendick" sign in their window.
I don't like to patronize the enemy, but I was in a hurry, so I went in, anyway.
My orders were to get eggs, milk and chocolate
chips for something she's baking.
I grab the three items and stand in line behind some lady and her screaming kids.
The little bastard in the shopping cart seat was facing me, and started kicking at me!
I tried to get the mother's attention, but she was reading Redbook.
The little bastard was getting on my nerves, trying to kick at me like that.
Just my luck, I left the Glock in the car.
Finally, it's my turn to check out. I had
cash, so I wouldn't have to bother
with check verification and stuff, hoping to get right home.
So this big, beefy dude, could've been the
owner, is checking me out.
Out of nowhere, he starts whining about why Gore won't concede.
Hey, why me? I don't wear a "Gore" sticker on my forehead or anything.
Maybe he was f-ing with everybody, who knows?
I checked the time, I had a few minutes,
so I start messing with the guy as he started
to check me out. "Gore won the popular vote," I mentioned politely.
Big & beefy didn't like that, so he starts giving me "the rule of law."
While he's whining, he runs the eggs over the scanner - $1.29
"If we don't follow the law, we're no better than the animals."
Then he's going on as he rings up the chocolate
chips - $2.89
"Bush won the first count, he won the second count."
Then he runs the milk over the scanner,
but the scanner didn't beep.
"Gore wants to count and recount until he gets a total he likes,"
as he swipes the milk past the scanner a second time.
Still nothing, so he looked at the UPC code and wiped it clean and manually put the milk's
bar code numbers in the cash register with a key pad. Then we heard the beep.
I saw my chance:
BC: Hey, you already rang that milk up once! What are you trying to pull?
BC: You already counted that milk, why are you trying to count it twice?
B&B: What are you talking about?
BC: You already rang up the eggs and
the chips and the milk, and now you're
trying to gouge me by ringing the milk up twice. That's stealing!
He opened the cash register and checked
the tape. It only showed the two items.
Acting like he had me, B&B tears off the tape and sticks it up to my face.
B&B: You see? The machine charged
you for the eggs and chips, but it didn't
charge you for the milk, so I had to enter the milk by hand.
BC: Oh, so you're saying sometimes the
machine doesn't count correctly and when that
happens you have to step in and do it by hand to get an accurate count?
B&B: (proud that he won the argument) ...yeah, smart guy!
BC: So when the machine fails to count properly, you have to count it by hand?
B&B: Yeah, so what's your point?
His balls were ensconced perfectly inside the BartCop snare.
BC: Isn't that all Gore is asking for
A fair and accurate hand count of the items the machine failed to count?
As he laid there, grasping his balls in
pain, I dropped a five on the conveyor belt and said,
"You're right, the machine count is more accurate," and I threw my eggs, my chocolate chips
and my paid-for milk into a paper bag and walked out the door and drove home.
The ditto-monkey might've lost a little on the groceries, but he won the argument, right?
Let me get this straight:
The undeniable fact is Al Gore won the popular vote,
but the media whores want us to believe the polls that claim
60 percent of the people say they want Gore to concede?
As Seinfeld used to say, 'Who are these people?"
They voted for Gore, but think he should concede?
That's horseshit, folks.
They're trying to put the bag on us.
Randy Weaver is at the K-Drag Gun show this weekend - again.
Yep, bring your kids to the Cro-Mag gun show so they can meet Randy Weaver.
Randy makes it to town at least twice a year to help arm the cave
If he's in K-Drag twice a year, he must be in Kingman five times a year.
He must be in Boise five times a year, same for Bob Barr's district and Newt's district.
If you count all the Cro-Mag southern "more guns, less education" cities,
Saint Randy might be pulling down $250,000 a year.
He's made a carrer out of George Bush ordering the murder of his
yet the media keeps telling people Bill Clinton was president in early 1992.
Just curious - do you know why Randy Weaver came to be famous?
Because the law found out he was selling sawed-off shotguns to any Gomer
with a bitch with the local county sheriff or any authority, for that matter.
It's extremely illegal to sell sawed-off shot guns.
Do you know why?"
Shotguns have no ballistics.
If you murder a county sheriff or an IRS employee with a shotgun, they can't match
the gun to the victim's body because shotgun pellets have no rifling. And when you
saw off the barrel to a shotgun, it becomes a monsterously-lethal and untraceable pistol.
Saint Randy was selling these instruments of death to the whites-only
After murdering his wife, Smirk daddy's FBI arrested him, but Saint Randy made bail.
Saint Randy didn't appear at trial, so the judge ordered him arrested.
According to every member of the NRA, the President of the United
(They alllll swear it was Clinton) ordered the sharpshooter to murder Weaver's wife,
but Clinton gets the blame because the GOP ignoratti can't think straight.
Fact: Bill Clinton became president in 1993.
But, at least Saint Randy is making a good living off the hit President Bush ordered.
Today's Page Two Girl
Have you seen Betty Bowers interview Eminem?
Supermodel Elle McPherson says,
Don't get behind...
Read bartcop.com every day!
VCR Alert - West Wing Tonight
NBC cheats when they promote this show, it's not WW's fault.
That "Crisis in the Gulf" a few shows back was only 10 percent of the story
and NBC made it sound like World War III.
Tonight is a "nuke-u-lar crisis." Homage to Smirk.
Also, "Ice-boy" comes out of his cube, which is a fraud.
He's standing inside of, but not touching, the ice. (See cam above)
I guarantee he couldn't put his hand in a Coleman Cooler of ice water for 3 days.
Peggy Noonan, always the bitch
War and Peace
by Mac McArthur at AMPOL
Is it a coincidence?
Isn't it Interesting?
Subject: Dear Bartcop baboons
All you ignorant bartcop baboon monkeys should
realize that Bush (your new white gorilla commander)
Probably DOES HAVE MORE popular votes than Gore if you could include all of the thrown out ballots
that were votes for Bush, but were disqualified he wins the whole country. He plays by the rules.
So I wish your fake phone call making leader would
quit pretending that he and Liberman
accually are more popular. AND what’s all this about Clinton’s economy? See what happens when you
get a Republican Congress. Back in the Democrat/Liberal controlled Congress days is when the economy
goes bad, taxes get raised, etc. Just think how good things will be with a REPUBLICAN CONGRESS
Hey younger readers here’s a few questions:
1. Isn’t the FACT that the economy is good is because Republicans are in congress?
2. What specifically did Clinton do to create new jobs?
3. How exactly does the president create companies, business etc. and provide for all the citizens?
Actually the REAL 3 things that Republicans hate are:
1.) The will of physic liberal vote determiners
2.) Not following the rule of law
3.) Bartcop and I especially hate that damn giant volcano thing
people keep drawing on Bush’s face that I keep seeing on the web
Joe Conason never strikes out
To see how he was distorted by the horseshit media Click Here
To see him defend himself Click Here
I haven't read either one.
I know Paul can defend himself.
Someday, I'll do a shot of Chinaco Anejo tequila with Paul Begala.
He's from Texas, I'll bet he doesn't drink Cuervo.
Bush Got Balls
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
Third hour, Pigboy is reading his ditto-mail:
- Rush, it's BILL O'Reilly, not JIM O' Reilly
- Rush, it's not the "Hannity Factor."
It's the "O'Reilly Factor."
What, did you have a stroke?
- Rush, you idiot!
It's not the MSFox network.
MS owns NBC, not Fox, you moron!
Even his ditto-spankers realize he's lost his small mind.
The Big Lie Comes Home
Reporter: Mr. Cheney, Smirk told us for 18 months that
he didn't want "Washington values."
Now that he think's he's won, he's stacking his alleged administration with his
Daddy's old CIA buddies. How is that NOT "Washington values?"
Cheney: You mean you fell for that horseshit?
C'mon, I expect the rubes and morons to buy it, but not you guys...
You can't be that stupid, can you?
Oh, fuck! Oh, Christ! ...is that microphone on?
Uh, ...uh, ... of course, ....uh, ...experience counts,
We, uh, ...plan to have a, ...broad range of experienced people, uh, ...
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
End of the second hour, Rush keeps talking about "Jim" O'Reilly,
who comes on right before that prick Hannity and his puppet Colmes.
Pardon me, Your Oinkness, his name is BILL O'Reilly.
Those TIA's are coming closer together. Rush.
Pretty soon, Hannity will have your urine-colored microphone.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
Great Democrat Quotes
Reporter: Mr. Vice President, what are your chances?
Gore: I figure my odds be 50-50.
Homage to Frank
I've been mostly kidding about the need to own guns, but if Gore
pulls this off,
we're going to see anger like we haven't seen since Vietnam.
Fox and MCNBC and CNN will have to add new channels to cover
the whites-only riots if Gore manages to squeak out a victory in the courts.
Tons o' Mail and 'toons
Pat Caddell must go on the Demo Shit List!
Proclaiming his liberal credentials last night to Chris Matthews, he said the
Democratic Party has been hijacked by a bunch of "gangsters!"
And Pigboy was gleefully playing Caddell
sound bites today in the first hour of his rant.
Why, oh why, haven't we learned what the Repugs already know:
Never surrender, never flinch, never break ranks!
ADD CADDELL TO THE LIST!!
Can we get him booted off the West Wing production staff too?
Subject: Democratic Shit List
Permanant Senior Chair at the Traitor's Board:
George Judas Maximus Steffie
SOB traitors selling weapons to the enemy:
Pat Benedict Arnold Caddell - alone in his shame.
Called for Gore to concede:
Called for Gore to concede, then pulled back:
Sen. John Breaux
Sen. Bob Torricelli
Subject: New Political Party
I was a die hard supporter of Al Gore until recently.
At this point I don't think either candidate has acted very "Presidential".
I hate that moron Bush and the Cardiac Kid. Thus I have decided to form my own political party.
It amazes me that Dubya and Al Gore are the best candidates for office that the "Big Parties"
can come up with. They have both demonstrated that they are complete incompetants and neither
one is worthy of our vote for President of the greatest nation on planet earth. One of them is a
smirking idiot that can't even talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and the other
to put it politely has all the charisma of a mannequin. Our party will not nominate a candidate!
Instead we will for our party have placed on the ballot another box
which would state
"None of the above, try again" we'll win by a landslide, guaranteed. Hopefully, by taking this
approach, we will actually get a candidate that is competant enough for the job and not a total
moron and loser like the choices for this election. The obvious advantage to this additional choice
on the ballot is that if we had this choice for the most recent election then Clinton would have to
stay in office until a suitable candidate could be found.
At the rate the Democrats and Republicans are going we could would have
able to look forward to 10 to 15 years of prosperity under the Clinton administration.
for the "Nunya" party!
Subject: Supreme Court does something right for once!
Supreme Court Strikes Down Drug Roadblocks
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday declared
unconstitutional police roadblocks set up to catch drug offenders, ruling
they violate privacy rights of innocent motorists.
In an important victory for advocates of civil liberties, the high court
by a 6-3 vote
ruled against Indianapolis, where police had erected the roadblocks to stop all
motorists in an effort to stop the flow of illegal drugs through the city.
Justice Sandra Day O'Connor declared for the court majority that the
violated the constitutional guarantees under the Fourth Amendment protecting against
unreasonable searches and seizures of evidence.
The high court declined to extend its prior rulings, which allowed roadblocks
drunken drivers and to intercept illegal immigrants being smuggled across the U.S. border
by car, to the routine use of drug checkpoints.
Read the Previous
It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.
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