Volume 349 - The Grate White Hope

 December 4, 2000


 I know you're tired of my constant bragging,
 but until I get a publicity person, I must toot my own horn.
 As Rush says in my all-time favorite Pigboy quote:

 "I never, ever brag on myself - and when I do,
   it's only because if I don't - nobody else will."

 Tonight on CNN's Spin Room, with Bill Press and Tucker "Please don't kill me" Carlson,
 Bill Press had this to say:

 Click  Here

 As Tally Briggs might say, "Let me count the ways."

 I don't have time to look it up, but my Katherine joke HAS TO pre-date Bill Press's joke
 if he's bringing it up tonight, December 4th.    I stopped doing that joke because:
 A. It wasn't that good to start with and
 B. It's only good for a chuckle or two and then you move on.

 ..and just to triple-insult our intelligence,
 the only way to get any joke from that phrase is if you spell it "Katherine the Grate,"
 as in "grating on my last goddamn nerve," and Press doesn't see the obvious.

 Press is bragging how some magazine ripped him off, but I'll bet it's been ten days
 since I stopped doing the better joke because it just wasn't that funny.

...and Press kids about suing them for plagarism?


 ...take a breathe,


...we're all a little on-edge after the Bush-electoral-rape

From: me@privacy.net

Subject: Bush Christmas Card

Very interesting card as most fire breathing cross burning clan members
were southern democrats but why let the truth and history stand in your way

~ me

Hey, you can pretend the KKK is voting for Gore if you want,
you can pretend the Aryan Nation is voting for Gore if you want.
but we all know they voted Smirk.

You can pretend the anti-black, anti-gay party is the Democrats if you want.
You can pretend your party has diversity in your elected leaders,
  even tho only one is black and he's an Oklahoma football star, not "a black man."
You can pretend your party has a gay member who wasn't threatened with arrest
 at that laughable sham you guys called a convention in Philadelphia earlier this year.

...and you want to talk to me about truth?

You, Sir, can't handle the truth.

I'd invite you to a debate Thursday, but you'd be like the others.
Woefully ignorant and incapable of defending yourself.

As the years go by, I grow tired,
waiting for a ditto-monkey with half-a-brain to put me in my place.
I know that somewhere, out there, there's somebody who can do that.

...but where?

...but when?

               Click picture to see what's up at AMPOL

Considering that the Miami Herald's own statistical analysis shows
that Gore won by at least 23,000 votes (and probably much more),
I suspect the GOP wants to bury the evidence until it's too late to be dealt with.

Subject: Christine wants to bury the votes

Dear Representative:

Governor Todd-Whitman has proposed a shockingly Nazi-like tactic of
"sealing the 2000 presidential ballots for 8 years" so they can't be recounted.

Is THIS what the Republican party has sunken to?
Disgraceful !

T. M. Vituscka
Citizen in Good Standing, USA

 Need a mob?

 Have an election that needs overturnin'?
 Have an elecotorate that needs to be imtimidated?
 Have a no-think candidate who can't win without cheating?

 Call 1-800-BES-LAVE or  Click  Here

  Everything you want to know about her


 Can we Trust Bush's Experts?

 ABC News.com: Dec. 3 — Al Gore’s formal contest of Bush’s victory in the Florida vote count
 is grinding on today, with Gore’s case seemingly helped by a Republican voting-machine expert’s
 concession that a manual recount is advisable in “a very close election.”

     At the end of the morning session in the unprecedented contest, presided over Leon County Circuit
 Court Judge N. Sanders Sauls, voting systems operator John Ahmann, a witness for the Bush campaign,
 gave a boost to the Gore campaign by acknowledging there were circumstances in which the votomatic
 punch-card machines used in Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties might fail to register every vote
 and necessitate hand recounts.

 Asked if he had ever said that hand recounts were advisable,
 Ahmann said, “In very close elections, yes sir.”

     Ahmann, who helped design and redesign the punch-card system used by the voting machines, also
 testified that the voting machines should work reliably if counties counties clean them after every election.
 But Gore lawyer Steve Zack pointed out that, as Ahmann admitted he learned “yesterday,”
 Miami-Dade County had not cleaned their machines for eight years prior to the 2000 election.

 Tamara Baker is not amused.

 Click  Here

For the archives...

From: agiedd@kpmg.com

Subject: Ok, that is it!


7 of 9 is surely a lovely borg but I give up on your site.

Great political commentary and comedy but JHC there is so much
cheesecake on the web already, is it too much to ask you to refrain?

Women like your site too but imagine you need a diversion from the
daily grind and your coworker walks by as the girly pick scrolls down.
Men would think it was stupid if they came to your site and there was
a bunch of page 2 boys plastered all over!

Your readers know where to find pinups.
Why add them to your site?
Lotsa very cool chicks I know enjoy your site but we are tired of it.
If a dude only site is what you are aiming for then you got it covered.


That would've been an excellent letter if you had sent it last week.
You have written to the already-converted.

From: johnde@va.prestige.net

Subject:  I am really disappointed in you

What makes  bartcop.com  so great is your OVERALL sensibility.
I have only been reading you for a about 6 weeks, but I already know you are Catholic,
married, live in Knuckledrag OK, like guns, Richard Pryor, the Sopranos, Chris Rock,
The Beatles, playing guitar, Chinaco tequila, sitting on your porch smoking a bone and
playing a harmonica (like Abe), and hot little minkys.

The political stuff is just gravy, even though this is what possessed me to send you money!

Do not change the language or the pictures (they are benign anyway, and besides,
you do not have to click on them if you do not want to). Hell, Jake Tapper uses "fuck"
in his stories on Salon.com (even if it is currently trading at less than $1) and if people
weird out about pretty girls, what's next...links to the mainstream press?

If we wanted that we would go to BuzzFlash or some other such nonsense.
No, your site is you and if you cop out just as you are starting to gain attention, it could be curtains.
Did Richard Pryor cop out?
Did John Lennon cop out?
Did Tony Soprano cop out?

I think not, Mr. BC and neither should you.
My friends and I like you just the way we are.
One of my friends has even started referring to you as the Buddah.
You do what you need to...its your site and it will still be fun,
but you need to be true to yourself.

Carry on...

Have you ever watched "Wheel of Fortune?"
They have Vanna White come out to turn letters, which is already somewhat
demeaning since it implies that's about the only job she's qualified for.

But when Pat Sajak asks her to turn in a circle so the audience can get
a good look at her ass, that's the part that seems to me to be the most piggish.
The showing of Vanna's ass on command means she's a piece of meat,
but if you just notice her figure as she walks by, that's right, legal and proper.

If you were to re-read my ruling, you'd see I have not abandoned anything
besides the systematic spinning the girl around to display her ass.
Also in my ruling, I said I was slick enough to make both sides happy.
I've been accused of many things in my life, but "not being slick enough"
is a charge with which I've never been accused.

There was a time when I could string words together and be convincing.
I seem to be losing my touch.

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

 Click  Here

So my mail bell rings, and I see this, from CNN

Subject:      CNN Breaking News


-- U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear Bush challenge.

This isn't true.
This never happened.
CNN had the credibility of a woodchuck BEFORE they messed up the election.
Then they screw up the election call with tons of collosal stupidity.
Then they screw this "declination" from the Supreme Court.

Then, this came through

Subject:      CNN Breaking News


-- U.S. Supreme Court overturns Florida high court decision extending recount deadline.

That did not happen, either!!

Who is writing these instant news dispatches for CNN?
Voltai29@geocities.com  has never sent me ONE false news story, much less two in one day.
CNN must be run by the most incomptent monkeys in the country.

From: czeitlin@pacbell.net

Subject: Ruby


You know I hold you in the highest esteem...
But I've studied the JFK assassination in all its awful detail, and, as much as I wanted
to believe in a conspiracy when I started, the evidence is just not there.

Ruby may have nattered on in court about this or that, but the truth is, the man was
whacked-out crazy, just completely nuts. He said so many different crazy things at
different times, many of which are self-contradictory, it's impossible to take him seriously.
No competent conspiracy would've picked an emotionally unstable kook with mob ties
to do the (second) deed.

I also learned a lot about ballistics in the course of research, and -- again, this is painful
to admit -- it looks like Specter was right and there was a single bullet. The best proof of
that comes from the size & shape of the entrance wound on Connally's back. It could only
have been caused by a yawing bullet, and rifle bullets don't yaw at that distance unless they've
hit something else first. Also, photos of the real seating arrangement in the limo
(not the Jim Garrison distorted version) show that the alignment of JFK and Connally was right
for a bullet from Oswald's vantage point to hit both.
(By the way, I have a PhD in physics and have calculated all the angles, etc., for myself
to come to these conclusions.)

There is no good evidence of a second shooter, and all the physical evidence points to Oswald,
who was well capable of making the shots. He was a poor shot by Marine standards, but those
are high standards and by normal standards he was competent at the least.
I highly recommend going to Dealey Plaza for yourself, if you haven't already, to see just how
short the distances involved really are -- it's very different in person than on a TV or movie screen,
it's really a very small area. This means (a) the shooting was not difficult and (b) a second gunman
out on the GK would not have been able to escape notice.

As far as I'm concerned, the only possible conspiracy in the JFK case was that someone was pulling
Oswald's strings. There is enough in the record to make this a possibility that can't be ruled out. But
we will probably never have proof of it. So I think we have to be circumspect about who we accuse
of murder, at least as far as JFK goes. I think a strong case can be made for at least a loosely
organized conspiracy on the MLK murder, but that's another story.

Best regards,

Cary, today must be "Beat up BartCop" day.
I am more misunserstood than a stutterring Chinaman speaking Pig Latin to a drunk in a tequila bar.
Once, I had a way with words. Lately, words way no have I.

Crazy as Ruby may be, he CAN'T be so crazy that his confession must be automatically rejected
as impossible and the footage of him making the impossible claim must be ingored at all costs.

I never said this was proof of anything.
I'm saying, "Isn't it funny, that we spend months dissecting every nonsense accusation about
Clinton's cock while this very-possible smoking gun of the 'Crime of the Century' remains ignored."

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was so good, Smirk tried to shut me down!

 Go Home to  bartcop.com

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