Great Football Quotes
A man dressed as Howard Cosell held a sign on tonight's MNF game
"Dennis Miller, your year is over. I'm doing MNF next year,"
...to which Miller replied,
"Hey, I've got some mistletoe on the small of my back - make good use of it."
Great Quotes of 2000
"If this were a dictatorship,
it would be a heck of a lot easier,
as long as I'm the dictator."
-- Smirk, his first day on Capitol Hill
Nation of children, nation
By Carla Binion (quickly becoming a favorite)
Love that last sentence...
Great Quotes of 2000
"The thrill for me was staying up until 4:30
AM watching befuddlement unfold.
My favorite moment was watching Tim Russert and Tom Brokaw just staring
at each other like, "...fuck me," and then throwing it to Doris Kearns Goodwin.
-- Jon Stewart, who got on the big map this year.
Somebody sent me this, I suppose in an attempt to make our twice-elected
seem like he was appointed by some elite group of powerful favoritists,
...but I think he looks damn good in this get-up so I'm printing it.
Reminder: All the polls say America loves him much more
than the president who
gained so much from the Bush pardons, arms-dealer Red-Ink Reagan.
Subject: Interrogate Ashcroft
"Mr. Ashcroft, we would like to know how, as Attorney
would interpret 'Perjury.' For example: if your boss had been under oath
when he flatly denied having been arrested for anything after 1984, would
that have constituted perjury?"
"Mr. Ashcroft, do you see voting rights as worth
protecting? If so,
do you see the allegations of intimidation brought forward by the NAACP
in Florida to need investigating?
If so, how can you or any appointee of your administration
credibly investigate it
when a finding of civil rights violation would not only further suggest that your boss
was wrongly installed as president, it would have serious political (and maybe legal)
consequences for your boss's brother?"
"Mr. Ashcroft, was it legal for public employees
to be paid by Tom Delay to
cause a riot in Florida, with the purpose of stopping a court-ordered vote count?
If their actions were illegal, was your boss not explicitly and actively condoning
and encouraging lawlessness when he held a congratulatory party for those
'bourgeois rioters' (as the Wall Street Journal approvingly named them)?
If their actions were not illegal, do we have
permission to bring some of our guys
around when it would be convenient for *our* side to stop vote counting?"
Great Sports Quotes
"I don't know why everybody's making
such a big deal
about the possible retirement of Jerry Rice.
I mean, he's only got about 900 more receptions than I do."
-- Cris Collinsworth, on a damn funny FOX NFL Today Saturday
Subject: Our Moron President
A short response to Snopes and anyone else trying
to peddle the theory
that Bush is not stupid because he had average grades in college:
Your problem is that you are confusing education
We don't consider Bush stupid because of his grades.
We consider him stupid because, up until his handlers restricted his press
conferences weeks before the election he: constantly mispronounced words;
used words that don't exist; used wrong grammar; spoke in sentence fragments;
and used non sequiturs (that's a fancy Latin way of saying "You're not making any sense.")
If you can't comprehend why that indicates that
Bush is stupid, that's understandable
- after all, you were stupid enough to believe in and vote for a moron.
The Worst Retail Christmas in Ten Years
That's what they're calling this Christmas.
Now, let me start off by saying I know less about economics than everybody in
America except the idiot Smirk who was appointed to put his foot on our throats.
But I do have a memory and sometimes I pay attention.
In late 1992, America was still trying to recover from the horrible
Candidate Clinton had promised at every campaign stop that he was going to
"focus like a laser beam" on the economy to get it moving again.
Supply-side apologists like to brag about how the current expansion
under trickle-down "magic" - but that's only because you can't start a recovery
unless you're coming out of a recession, a recession THEY caused. It's easy to have
"staggering growth" once you've turned America's great economic engines off.
But once Bill Clinton defeated Mr. "Recession? What recession?"
economists were pleasantly surprised at how profitable that year's Christmas was.
People knew that help was on the way.
Wall Street and the economy are driven by expectations. When America
saw the young
and energetic guy (the one who still had energy and a lust for life) was going to be in charge,
they relaxed and gave their kids the Christmas they had to postpone for the last few years.
Clinton gave America hope.
In a self-fulfilling prophesy, with their confidence rising, people started buying.
That lowered inventory, causing factories to crank back up and hire more workers.
Then in 1993, Clinton showed some of the first signs of his genius.
His new economic plan called for, yes, raising taxes on the top 1 percent of the super-rich.
Wall Street saw this bold move as PROOF that Clinton was not only going to talk about
fixing the runaway deficit crisis, but he was actually going to take some action.
The expectations game was being played again.
Expecting lower deficits, and less debt, and lower interest rates, Wall Street got brave
and started buying more and infusing more available cash into the economy.
Clinton's words and actions had a ripple effect, and things start getting better right away.
When people think hard times are coming, they start saving and they stop buying.
When they stop buying, inventory piles up, factories slow down, layoffs occur.
This is what's happening right now.
Smirk didn't say "Read my lips, no new taxes,"
No, the ignorant bastard went a lot farther than his Voodoo dad.
Smirk promised. "Tax cuts, so help me God."
He's repeating his Daddy's mistakes, but with much more strident rhetoric.
Scaring the shit out of Wall Street is easy for a president, even
an appointed Smirk.
Wall Street heard Smirk's "Tax cuts, so help me God."
Wall Street heard Smirk's promise to fund the multi-trillion-dollar Star Wars program.
Wall Street heard Smirk's promise to fund the multi-trillion-dollar military "recovery."
Wall Street knows what happens when you cut taxes and spend money like Red-Ink Reagan.
You get massive, momentum-killing deficits.
This mad spending spree, combined with massive tax cuts for the
tell Wall Street that we're no longer serious about deficit reduction. It tells Wall Street
that we're going back to the early eighties, and back into another dark recession.
...and don't blame this on the Nasdaq.
Every economist in America knows the Internet is the engine of
Nothing can stop the Internet - not even Smirk's Voodoo horseshit.
Oh, sure, he can set us back on the curve a decade or so, but the Internet is here to stay
and it's not going anywhere. Pretty soon half of all business will be done online.
The Nasdaq will be back, but later, rather than sooner.
But because Sandy O'Connor is a tired, old, frustrated woman who
wants to retire,
and Tony Scalia has an all-consuming need to be Top Dick on the Supreme Court, we had
an economic idiot installed against our will instead of our elected president and one result of
that is America's economy is going into the tank for a presidential term or two.
Merry Christmas, America.
Oh, if only there was an opposition party to the Republicans...
Great Quotes of 2000
"If you own any kind of a business...fax
We'll make you a deal on radio and, or TV ads, or any combination.
But beware, the bad guys are gonna beat on you.
You have to have a spine to advertise on my show."
--Laura the Slut, begging from her sinking ship.
Dear Bartcop - I love your page - I feel fortunate
to read the writings of
others more gifted than myself - who can express my exasperation,
frustration and anger over the events of Bush stealing the election.
FYI - this may need some research - my niece,
who lives in Missouri, got
pregnant and of course the guy promptly dumped her. In the State of
Missouri, if a woman is NOT married when she gives birth she is NOT allowed
to put the name of the father on the birth certificate - this insures that
the "deadbeat dad" never has to pay child support (or go through the
embarrassment later in life of ever acknowledging his responsibility.) Is
there a law like this in ANY other state? I would be interested in
knowing if Ashcroft was in power when this law was written and passed.
So much for taking care of the children of this
country - I guess we should
call it "Compassionate Conservatism"
In the words of the State of Missouri -
"Yes, we recognize your needs as a single mother - but the father sure is not
going to help out EVER - and OH, YES ...we are going to cut all welfare programs
so that your child can live well below the poverty level while you struggle to raise it.
THANK YOU FOR NOT GETTING AN ABORTION."
Thanks for listening BARTCOP - thanks for persevering!!!
I plan to protest at the Federal Building in San Francisco on Jan 20th.
We must make a stand!!!
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It wasn't that good, but it had attitude!
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