Great Total Surrender Quotes

"I do not intend to lead a fight against him. I intend to make sure that
  Ashcroft is given a far more fair hearing than some have been given in the past.
  That does not mean it'll be a pushover hearing,
  Of course there'll be tough questions."
    -- Patrick Leahy, senior Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee,
        begging for fucking crumbs on ABC's "This Week."
 

 I'm sick.
 The first ten words are the official position of the bendover Democratic Party

"I do not intend to lead a fight against him."

 Son of a bitch.
 Leahy has already surrendered?
 I knew my party was a bunch of scared rabbits,
 but I thought they'd at least pretend they were going to fight,
 and then back down when the going got tough.

 ...but Leahy has already surrendered?

 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

 "That does not mean it'll be a pushover hearing..."

 Of course it does.
 It means exactly fucking that!
 Why else would you tell him up-front he's got the job?

 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

 Great Fighter Quotes

 "It is outrageous for President-elect Bush to select someone
  who has consistently opposed civil rights and affirmative action
  to be responsible for enforcing the nation's laws."
     -- NAACP President Kweisi Mfume
 

 Thank Koresh for black Americans.
 They stood up for Clinton during impeachment.
 They came out to "win" Florida for Gore, and now
 they're willing to fight when the Democrats lay down and beg.

"I do not intend to lead a fight against him?"

 God, I wish I was black.

 Great Quotes from the Year

 "Pillsbury has been accused of trying to make the Pillsbury Dough Boy
  appeal more to ethnic groups by making him look darker in recent commercials.
  Now, instead of giggling when you touch his stomach, he says,
 " 'You want a piece of me, Cracker?' "
   --  Conan,

 Bad Axl

 Axl Rose and Guns n Roses performed one of the best concerts
 I've ever seen by an American group and I'll never forget it.  Story here

 I've forgiven his anti-gay and anti-woman remarks.
 (I figure if Elton John has, why shouldn't I?)
 But how do you forgive a multi-millionaire turning whore?
 Isn't Axl just about the last guy you'd figure to turn whore?

 I'm talking about his upcoming New Year's Eve concert in Las Vegas.
 He's playing the House of Blues at the fabulous Mandalay Bay.
 (Funny, they don't list him on their concert schedule.)

 You remember my experience at the fabulous Mandalay Bay, right?

 Well, Axl's gone and broken one of the cardinal rules.
 He's playing the House of Blues asGuns n Roses.
 Axl, you're a talented singer and songwriter, and a fantastic stage performer,
 one of the best I've ever seen, but you have no right to that name.

 Will Slash be there?
 No.

 Will Duff be there?
 No.

 It ain't Guns n Roses without Duff,
 and it damn sure ain't Guns n Roses without Slash.

 The only ever-in Guns n Roses member is Dizzy Reed, which counts,
 but Axl and Dizzy ain't no Guns n Roses.

 Here's how it works:

 When Daltrey and Townsend recorded and toured after Keith Moon died,
 it was legit for them to use The Who because they wrote the damn songs.

 If Paul, George and Ringo do an album or a tour,
 they can't be The Beatles and we all know why.

 If Mick and Charlie and Woody record and tour,
 they can't be The Stones unless Keith is there.

 When Bono did some stuff, he was billed as "Bono from U2."
 That's how that works.
 Those are the rules.

 Sometimes, it even goes the other way.
 Years after John Bonham died, Page and Plant had every right to record
 and tour as Led Zeppelin, with or without John Paul Jones, but they didn't.
 Out of respect, they decided Led Zeppelin only had one drummer and that was that.
 So, they toured as "Plant and Page," I thought was a classy way to handle that.

 Then you have tricky situations like with Roger Waters and Pink Floyd.
 The way I understand it, Waters quit and said "Carry on without me."
 I think they sued each other and it got ugly, and I forget how it turned out,
 but when they toured at the same time, the Gilmore band packed arenas while
 Waters didn't because Gilmore had the name and people are stupid sheep who'd rather
 pay to see a name instead of a performer, but that's another subject for another time.

 But now we have Axl trying to be Guns n Roses without Slash.
 As the most famous unpunished arms dealer in American history says, "Na Ga Da."

 You can't do that, Axl.
 You're "Axl and Dizzy from Guns n Roses and Friends" and that's all.

 Axl, you're cheating.

 You're cheating Slash, and you're cheating the idiot sheep fans who can't read.
 They think they're getting the realGuns n Roses.
 You're even cheating yourself, Axl.
 Why would a multi-millionaire cheat himself, his friends and his fans?

 I think he's insecure, because it would be devastating to perform before a less-than
 sold out House of Blues, but hey, Axl, the rules are the rules.
 I know it's fashionable for rock stars to break the rules,
 but not when you're screwing your friends and your fans.
 

 Of course, Axl won't ever see these words, but maybe someone that knows
 a guy who knows a girl who knows a guy who knows Axl might see them.
 Hell, maybe my good friend Howie knows Axl, I never asked.

 But, ...all I can say is Bad Axl!

 Great Quotes from the Year

 "I like Sex in the City, why wouldn't I?
  It's about four sexually frustrated women who sit aroung talking.
  I particularly like, frankly, the older one.
  Wait, I'm sorry, I'm thinking about The View."
      -- Garry Shandling, who I miss on HBO

 This Whore, with Sam & Cockie

  Sam Donaldson: Former President Bush, in 1992, Bill Clinton showed you the door.
                              Now, your son is showing him the door.

 Wrong!
 We know that's what you like to pretend, Sam, but that's not how it went.

 The America people FIRED President Bush for gross incompetence.
 President Clinton will serve every second that the consitution allows,
 and indeed, could win another term if he were allowed to run again.

 Gee, Sam, we know how bad you want to kiss Republican ass,
 but did you forget people were actually watching you do this?

 Smirk ain't showing Clinton shit.

From:  Withheld

Subject:  smirk & guns from the Bartcop forum post of mine

Is smirk going to allow people to carry concealed weapons at places where he is speaking?
Currently the secret service searches everyone for guns.
Is he going to tell them to stop doing that and allow people who are going
to meet him to pack heat? If not he is a hypocrite.

Smirk never trusted the people.
If he did, guns would've been allowed at Nazi-Con 2000, but they weren't.
Remember that sad story he told in the primary debates about the lady at Luby's
who's parent's were shot when her gun was left back in the car?

Gee, Smirky,
What if her parents were killed walking back to their car after your convention?
That's all different, right?

You have a private army protecting you, asshole, and you STILL won't allow
people to get near you with a gun - meanwhile you empowered millions of others
to bring their loaded guns to football stadiums and even churches, you sicko!

 Watching that FOX NFL Pre-Game show
  with Terry, Howie, Chris and BJ, and what do you know?

 On comes that cute little babe with the tight skirt to give the weather.

        Jillian Barbieri

 Now, how many of you think she's there to give the damn weather?

 Please - it's time to grow up.
 They could have Williard Scott or Al Roker give the weather if they wanted weather.
 But Willard and Al don't look so good in a skirt.

 Then you turn on Monday Night Foolball, and what do you see?

           Melissa Stark

 She's there for the same reason you see a pretty girl's picture on  bartcop.com
 You can't look at just sweaty, grunting men hard at war for a whole show, and you
 can't read story after story about the evil vote-killers of the GOP without a distraction.
 I'm beginning to think the complainers are the ones with the problem.

 And hey! I can be my own man and make my own decisions just fine, but I know men are pigs,
 so when a woman asks if I'm going too far, I tend to listen to be sure I'm doing an adequate job
 of keeping the beast in the cage, if you know what I mean. Lots of men don't bother to check...
 So this is the last we're going to hear on this subject for a while.

 Well, to be fair, let's give another 48 hours for responses, but if you respond, you should at least
 have something to offer to demonstrate why  bartcop.com  should be a barren desert
 while the rest of the world blooms.

 I'm in real, real bad mood today, a lot of you know why...
 And I'm, getting sicker watching this total bend-over for Smirk.

 I think we need to draw a line here.

 Three things are sure to happen:

 1. The Democrats are going to confirm Cockhunter Ashcroft for Attorney General.
     They'll do this because they are scared and they are weak.
     They have no leader, so they're going to follow Smirk because they are afraid.

 2. Cockhunter Ashcroft is going to go after Clinton - again.
     Smirk Daddy confirmed that again this morning on This Whore.

     Donaldson: Should Clinton be tried for his crimes?
     Bush: That's up to the Attorney General - if crimes were committed.

     Duh! That's as clear a "yes," as you can get.
     Letting a Cockhunter decide whether or not to hunt a cock is a moot point.
     Ashcroft could no more ignore a chance to go after Clinton's cock than a cat
     could ignore a mouse chewing on his tail.

 3. When Ashcroft does this, the scared and weak Democrats will express shock!

     God, how did I end up in such a weak party of scared little bunnies?
     The Democrats have become spineless and leaderless geldings.
     They are cowering ninnies, begging Smirk for a crumb from the big table.

    Confirming Ashcroft sends Tom Delay a clear signal:
     You have the throne - we will not oppose you, President Delay.
     We beg you to be gentle with us, President Delay.
     Anything you want, Master!

     That's horseshit and I don't want any part of it.

     There's trouble for Roe v Wade. too.
     The women of America didn't want control of their reproductive rights.
     They stated their intentions clearly when they voted for Smirk.
     Screw Florida - Smirk couldn't have won without the female vote.
     Access to women's clinics is now "safe-guarded" by a religiously-insane Attorney General,
     and whatever freedoms he denies will be backed up the the Whore Court.

     I keep hearing the word "integrity" used in the same sentence as "Ashcroft."
     You know what that means without the candy coating?
     All that means is Ashcroft, unlike Bob Barr, has never paid for an abortion.
     Ashcroft is sincere in his insane beliefs, as sincere as he can be.

     I will try my best, with my  tiny,  tiny  hammer, to fight back.
     But make no mistake, we are in trouble.

    I say we FIGHT!

     I say we FIGHT this crazy fascist's nomination.
     Democrats who vote to confirm him should expect to retire in January '03.

    We're making a list!
     We use the hammer on anyone who votes to confirm Ashcroft.
     If you like Ashcroft, if you think he'd be a peachy Attorney General,
     then don't send  bartcop.com  any money because we're going to hammer
     ANY Democrat who votes to confirm Ashcroft, even if it's Hillary.

  NO TO ASHCROFT!

     We don't block everything, just the crazy-fascist, insane cock-hunters.

 From: trombone1@xtn.net

 Subject: Just found your site

 I just found your site and think it's great!
 It's great to find liberals that will actually stand up and fight!
 (it's also one of the funniest ones I've seen)  I plan to visit your site often.

 Sincerely,

 Dave
 

 Dave, thanks.
 If you ever see another liberal web site that's fed up and wants to fight back,
 lemme know and we'll team up :)

 Thanks,

 Today in History

 In 1865: Veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private social club
 in Pulaski, Tenn, and decided to call their little gathering the Ku Klux Klan.

 Trent Lott could not be reached for a comment.

 In 1980: Americans remembered U.S. hostages in Iran by burning candles
 or shining lights for 417 seconds, one second for each day of captivity.

 These hostages would've been home for Christmas, 1980, but Ronald Reagan
 wanted to be president so goddamn bad, he made a secret deal to arm the terrorists
 holding our hostages, and President Bush pardoned them all when the "Rule of Law"
 began closing in. Since this horrible crime had nothing to do with Clinton's cock,
 America let it go and elected his son as a reward because nobody called them on it.

 Why don't the Democrats fight back?

 Click  Here

Hollywood Report

From: Jangellamf@aol.com

Subject: Re: Pryor Box

Bart:

Being a big-shot LA music writer has gotten me on loads of mailing lists for
freebie discs, and so scarfing the Pryor set from my dear friends at Rhino was a cinch.
However, this is one set I'd have had to buy if I couldn't get comped, if for no other
reason than one tiny bit about half way through Pryor's greatest recording, That Nigger's Crazy.
Pryor is talking about his family and their backward attitudes and  remarks thusly about his uncle:

''My uncle said 'boy, don't you never kiss no pussy. I swear don't you never kiss no pussy'
...I couldn't wait to kiss a pussy. Shit, they were wrong about everything else"......

ha ha

I remember telling Richard's daughter Rain that that one line changed my life
and she wasn't at all surprised.

Molly Ivins, speaking of the same phenomenon, only in a non-sexual context said,
'once you realize they're lying about race,
 you know that they're probably lying about everything else.'

These sentiments demolish conservatism like a meteor-sized wrecking ball
--Once you figure out that their myths only exist to keep you from happiness,
freedom and open-mindedness (the enemies of the Right), everything falls away
--the onion is peeled to reveal no onion left. Readymade and received theories
and theology whose tracts can be blown over by an asthmatic's wheeze are the
cornerstone of their logic, which is why the moment any of 'em get away from
the Bible Belt, they tends to go hoggy-wild, ain't that so?

Fuck 'em.

Folks--buy the Pryor box. And pick up the Stevie Ray Vaughan set also--
He was a beautiful man and a wizard of guitar playing, an enlightened,
elevated avatar of mind numbing six string genius. Peace.

Johnny Angel, Los Angeles, CA
 

Johnny, good stuff!
Send more like that.

 Behind Colin Powell's Legend: Part Three
  by Robert Parry  (one of the best)

 Click  Here

Someone sent me this goofy URL:

http://members.tripod.com/~GOPcapitalist/clinton-scandals.html

The Clinton Scandals:

  1    Whitewater
  2    Cattlegate
  3    Nannygate
  4    Helicoptergate
  5    Travelgate
  6    Gennifer Flowersgate
  7    Filegate
  8    Vince Fostergate
  9    Whitewater billing records-gate
10    Paula Jonesgate
11    Federal Building campaign phone callgate
12    Lincoln bedroomgate
13    White House coffeegate
14    Donations from convicted drug dealersgate
15    Buddhist Templegate
16    Web Hubbell hush moneygate
17    Lippogate
18    Chinese commiegate -
19    Let's blame Kenneth Starrgate
20    Zippergate/interngate - the Lewinsky affair itself
21    Perjury and jobs for Lewinskygate
22    Willeygate
23    Web Hubbell prison phone callgate
24    Technology to the Chinese Commiesgate
25    Coverup for our Russian Comrades as Wellgate
26    Wag-the-Dog-gate
27    Jaunita Broaddrick gate
28    PBS-gate
29    Filegate II

 I didn't bother to read any of it, because even Hardon Kenny knew it was horseshit.
 Kenny's job was to find something - anything, and out of these 29 "gates,"
 all Kenny could find was an unfaithful husband.

 Meanwhile, Nixon ordered the Justice Department to arrest the FBI,
 and RR/Bush were illegally selling Stingers to Big Terror, and that's OK,
 because arming terrorist nations with weapons they can't buy anywhere
 isn't a crime to these mental midgets because it has nothing to do with Clinton's cock!

 ...and we still lost the election.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It was lame, but the cartoons were killer.

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