He was being typical Vic - a loud, uninformed, incredibly-stupid
and he was explaining to me how "all Democrats are pussy," and that the
Republicans were the only ones brave enough to fight for our country.
Poor, ignorant bastard.
He needed to be straightened out.
So I went to http://www.bartcop.com/chickenhawks.htm and hit "print."
You know the list, right?
House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt - Served his country in uniform, 1965-71
Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle - Served his country in uniform, 1969-72
House Majority Leader Dick Armey- avoided the draft, did not serve.
Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott - avoided the draft, did not serve.
Poor Vic was in for a Roy Jones-style beating.
Vic was being such a worthless prick, I decided to give him the full Number Six.
I handed him the two-page list and he refused to even read it.
I told him,
"Those are the facts, and you can't handle the facts because you're wrong.
You don't have the brains to let the facts get in the way of your wrong opinions.
You're afraid to learn the truth, so you spout that monkey-shit, instead."
Vic tried his best to mount a comeback:
"But how do I know this printout is true?"
(He thinks the internet is lies ONLY, and Hannity and O'Reilly are both God)
I told him, "Pick any Republican on that list, call his office
and ask them if he served in the military and I'll pay for the call."
Like all ditto-monkeys do when they are cornered with the truth,
they change the subject:
"I don't have time for this foolishness.
Besides, everyone knows the Democrats
are pussies and the Republicans are the ones who fight for their country."
"Fine," I said. "Make a phone call. Prove it to me."
The poor bastard stomped around for a little bit, then - Swear
to Koresh, he went in
the boss's office and said, "I want tomorrow off. I have to get away from BartCop!"
He had to pass my desk on the way out, so I said,
"You're not running from me, you're running from the!
He's been in his office since then, and hasn't said a word to
This'll cost me some really good gourmet cooking, but it's worth it...
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