...because somebody has to say it. POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
"The deficit now at $300 billion. It could
swell to as much as $500 billion if we go to war in Iraq.
Mr. Bush apparently is untroubled by
this fiscal collapse. One of his aides tells the current issue
of "TIME," magazine, quote, "even if
it's $500 billion, so what?" Of course, even a $500 billion
deficit number doesn't count the $3
trillion Mr. Bush is robbing from the Social Security trust fund.
You know, we should have known, every
time George W. Bush gets in trouble, he borrows from
a trust fund. It's been his whole life,
you know."
--Paul Begala, Crossfire,
03/03/03
Excerpt:
Targeted countries include Bulgaria, Chile,
Angola, Cameroon, Guinea and Pakistan,
whose votes are crucial to the Bush administration's
resolution to use force against Iraq.
The purpose of spying on these and possibly
other delegations is "to provide up-to-the-minute
intelligence for Bush officials on the
voting intentions of U.N. members regarding the issue of Iraq,"
according to the published memo.
Ari Fleischer (R-Fork Tongie) declined comment,
because what could he say?
They got caught.
..
Excerpt:
A mother lode of goodwill fostered in the
decades after the defeat of Nazi Germany has been
reduced to dust in recent years. A growing
number of foreigners see some of the United States'
political decisions (pulling out of the
Kyoto Treaty on global emissions) and personal choices
(Americans' penchant for gas-loving SUVs) as
at best unilateral and at worst selfish.
The confrontation over Iraq is just more
fuel on a bonfire.
From Spanish plazas to Parisian metros,
American tourists are being quizzed, grilled and even spat on
by people who do not approve of the Bush
administration's drive for a war against Saddam Hussein.
Notice they blame "political decisions" and "personal choices,"
instead of Bush.
Anything to protect the unelected, illegal usurper in
the unearned White House.
Quotes
"I took on Bush the father, I went on the floor
and I held up the magazine --
'The Most Dangerous Man In The World,
Saddam Hussein," June 4, 1990.
He attacked two-days shy of two months
later... after the Stark incident when
35 Americans were killed, -- 17 on
the "Cole" but 35 on the "Stark" -- that was
a Saddam Hussein mission. I don't know
why we dealt with this guy."
--Bob Dornan, (R-Madman) Crossfire,
03/03/03
C'mon, Bob, you know why the B.F.E.E.
built up Saddam - to make millions from it.
Then they made millions tearing
him down in Desert Storm.
Then they made millions building
him back up in the nineties,
and they'll make billions tearing
him down to start World War III.
Bart, I have an idea.
Every time we hear one of these people say
we have to go along with G.W's little oil war,
we call a military recruiter and have them
show up to have these chicken hawks enlist.
When someone gives me grief for not supporting
Bush and his war, I tell them to call the recruiter.
Then I tell them to put up or shut up.
Of course if you can get a recruiter to show up when you
are there it is added pressure for
them to have to put up.
For people like 'Mancow' or Kid Rock it
would be more impressive if the recruiter was there
while they were on the air, or at a press
conference. Then they either show they really have
the balls to back up what they say, or
they show their yellow side.
Terry S
Hey, great idea.
Everyone should write down the recruiting numbers for the Army,
Air Force, Navy and Marines.
When some ditto-monkey starts yelling "Here
we come, Saddam" dial your cell phone and
then hand it to the blood-thirsty warmonger and see if he's ready
to get Saddam like he claims.
Wending
our weary way toward war
Breathless media coverage and presidential non sequiturs
-- don't believe anything until it's over
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
Now is the time we get Iraqi soldiers tossing
Kuwaiti babies from incubators and other
mind-boggling myths presented as reality.
The Guardian is reporting that the United States
is wiretapping foreign delegations to the
U.N. Security Council, and the worst thing about it
is that no one is surprised.
Quotes
"I could never be the president. Think about
it. I've abused cocaine,
I've been arrested, I'm not a very
smart guy. It's a big joke to think
people would want someone like me ...just
because my dad was president."
-- Charlie Sheen, on SNL when
asked if he'd ever be president
God Alone Makes Me Do These Things
Excerpt:
"Even before he walks on the water he later boils
to bring his doting wife, Pickles,
a morning cup of coffee, he goes off to
a quiet place to read alone."
This whole Internet thing continues to be really cool.
Last night I downloaded some more live
U2 bootlegs (perfect quality).
This show was from Kansas City 2001, the show we saw and
reviewed right here on bartcop.com
Damn, you wouldn't believe how clear this recording is.
Anyway, Bono did, "I Remember You" (not familiar) for Joey Ramone.
See?
The record companies won't sell you that, and that's a
great f-ing moment.
Sidebar:
Wasn't it Bono who talked to Joey the day
before he died?
That's gotta be a drag, singing about your
dead friend.
Damn, look here, ...there's some U2 live in Austin, 2001.
Excerpt:
Abraham Lincoln once observed that even
a free people can be fooled for a time
-- and this, mind you, was long before
Fox News existed -- and in his chaotic two-year
presidency, Bush has pushed the Big Lie
approach so far that we are seeing dramatic
signs of its cracking: an international
backlash, a domestic peace movement and
whistle-blowing from inside our own intelligence
and diplomatic corps.
Boycott
MSNBC for hiring Michael Savage
http://www.michaelsavagesucks.com/default.asp
They say Donahue was the highest-rated show on their network,
but they fired him for not being Nazi enough. But Savage fits
right in.
Marty's
E! page
The Clash no play Hall O' Fame
Michael Jackson claims he hexes people
There's a new Seinfeld
Billy Bush is the new Monty Hall
Madonna is writing children's books
And, Ted Nugget likes to kill things (He's GOP)
click
State finds N.H. Catholic church hid abuse
Excerpt:
The state attorney general blasted Roman
Catholic leaders in New Hampshire for being
"willfully blind to the danger its priests posed
to children" and for misleading victims for
decades about the extent of sex abuse
charges against its clerics.
The material includes details on 35 New
Hampshire priests. But the report focuses on
eight priests whose stories prosecutors
felt best supported their case. The state stopped
short of seeking an indictment against
the diocese under a deal reached in December .
Well of course you wouldn't want to arrest anybody.
Subject: Mediahorse
Bartcop if you dislike the dlc and the pink
tutus so much why do you continue to
support mediahorseonline. Afterall,
all they ever do is bitch and moan at anyone
who wants Daschle to fight back, or who
wants them to stop appointing more Bush
conservatives to court, or who would like
the democrats to run on something other
than "I don't like Bush, I just support
all his policies?"
Jenn
Jann, are we reading the same web page?
I can hardly keep up with my own site, so I don't get to MWO
as much as I'd like,
but you're saying they want Daschle to fight Bush less
and approve more of Bush's appointments?
That doesn't sound like the MWO I know.
Quotes
"This is not a war about oil. This is going
to -- if we have to use force, it's going to be
to liberate Iraq, not to occupy
Iraq. The oil resources belong to the Iraqi people.
It is Saddam Hussein who's taken
it from them."
-- Paul Wolfowitz, deputy secretary
of defense,
Liar!
That's George W Bush's oil.
He won it fair and square when he stole Florida.
Fun Tricks with Credit
As you may know, my career was in finance.
You get into a finance career after you get fired from Taco Bob's.
That's how I got into it.
A while back, I mentioned how we got 2 free
go-anywhere tickets from Southwest Airlines,
(the no-crash airline, which is important to an agnostic)
by just playing their simple game.
I forget the details (whatever I wrote was true) but a couple
of weeks ago we got a letter
from SWA asking if MRS. Bart wanted to sign up for the free trip
thingy.
As a 25-year credit man (except for the three years I owned nightclubs)
I knew what to do.
I filled out their application (nobody on the planet is better)
and surprise! surprise!
Mrs Bart was accepted into the SWA whatever it's called club,
for that you get 4 points.
If we buy anything on their VISA card, we get another 4 points.
ha ha
That's a trip to Vegas, for one.
So we'll charge the gas and groceries and insurance and house
payments to that VISA,
and we'll have a second trip paid for (first trip award not yet
consummated) for two.
Jesus, if I had two college-age kids, I'd get $6000 under the
BartCop
Tax Plan
AND sign them up with SWA and get two more free tickets
to anywhere SWA flies.
...'bout the only good thing about getting older is you slowly get smarter.
Quotes
"Any U.S. government official who is directly
involved or complicit in the torture or mistreatment
of detainees, including any official,
who knowingly acquiesces in the commission of such acts,
would be subject to prosecution worldwide,
a war criminal."
--a warning to President Bush from
the Human Rights Watch, quoted on Crossfire, 03/03/03
What a joke.
Bush is unstoppable.
There's no power on Earth that can put Bush on trial for any
of his crimes
as long as the Supreme Court is firmly in the pocket of the B.F.E.E.
US forces will go it alone to Baghdad
Excerpt:
The Pentagon hopes that it will not be
necessary to conduct a street-fighting operation to
capture the city. However, if there has
to be an assault on Baghdad to overcome resistance
by Iraq’s Republican Guard, the mission
will be carried out exclusively by American forces.
A senior British Army source said: “This
decision is part political, part military, but the
Americans have made it clear Baghdad is
their prize.”
I have all the faith in the world in our fighting boys, but this
isn't like last time.
Last time, all the Iraqi's had to do was drop their stolen loot
and run away to the north.
This time, they're defending their own homes and families.
Baghdad is going to be
a very bloody place - and not all of that blood will be theirs.
What happens when we surround Baghdad and can't find Saddam?
We go door-to-door? We could lose a man per building doing that.
Maybe the trick is to convince Saddam that Bush really is this
crazy,
and convince him that he's better flee before the soldiers arrive.
When those body bags start piling up on the tarmac at Dover AFB,
will 60-70 percent of America still love this useless, senseless
war?
Also, someone sent me this story (but not the URL so I couldn't
use it) that Iraq
is arming children as little as ten years old. How will
our soldiers react to having
to shoot some little kid?
Subject: Boycott Dittoheads
Dear Bartcop:
It's fairly irritating that people who have
no idea what the letters U.N. stand for are all hot
to boycott French products, and they're
PRETTY SURE they know why. These are the
same people who sniffed at boycotts as
the domain of liberals and minorities, but now they're
all about "don't buy French wine, don't
buy French cheese" like they ever in their lives bought
those things anyway. They're just looking
for an excuse for purchasing inferior foodstuffs.
Well fine, more camembert and Bordeaux for the rest of us. Enjoy your cold duck and pepper jack, morons.
Sure it's easy to dismiss the French as
just another country whose ass we saved in WWII, but how
would these same boycott-dittohead U.S.
citizens react if Nazis marched down the streets of their hometown?
Would they form The Resistance, defying
the odds against the Germans armed only with a brick and a snotty
attitude, or would they cower behind hoarded
piles of toilet paper and duct tape, dialing 911?
Talk about your cheese-eating surrender
monkeys. Pass the Wisconsin mild cheddar, please.
I say turn off the Fox News channel and
open up a bottle of Cabernet, d-heads.
You're going to need it.
Vive le difference!
Victoria H
Quotes
"The bad news is that North Korea has restarted
its nuclear reactors, so we know
that they could soon have a nuke that
could hit the west coast here in California.
The president has said that this is
still not a crisis because we don't have one that
could hit a red state."
--Bill Maher, HBO
Calif. Alleges Massive Power Fraud
Excerpt:
California gave federal energy regulators
more than 3,000 pages of documents that Gray Davis said
prove energy companies manipulated the
state's power market to drive electricity prices to record highs.
A summary said that most companies that
sold power in California during the state's energy crisis in
2000 and 2001 engaged in improper practices
similar to those described in Enron memos.
Sellers of wholesale power withheld electricity,
routed power to other states to avoid price caps and
submitted false electricity schedules that
gave the impression of congested transmission lines, said the state.
The state is seeking $9 billion in energy
refunds for 2000 and 2001, when power prices soared
and the state faced energy shortages and
rolling blackouts.
Remember how Rush, Tex, Co-Tex and Hannity and the others swore
Enron was innocent?
Remember how they blamed "liberals" for not building enough power
plants?
Remember how Bush failed to intervene "because the markets have
to work?"
Quotes
"Why has our president placed homeland security
in the hands of Republican political hacks instead
of professionals? John Ashcroft,
for example, is a career politician. He lost an election to a dead man.
Tom Ridge is another career politician
who was passed over by Bush to be VP. Asa Hutchinson is yet
another career politician and a graduate
of the disgraceful Bob Jones University. Apparently, Bush only
turns to professionals when it's really
important, like political consulting."
--Paul Begala, Crossfire, 03/03/03
Subject: FW: Mainstream Media
Bart,
A friend of mine sent me the e-mail below
containing two contentions:
1.) That Oliver North recommended eliminating
Bin Laden back in the 80s and
brought this point
up during questioning at the hands of Al Gore.
2.) That Israel had Mohammad Atta in custody
and was pressured into
releasing him
by the Clinton administration.
Obviously, I'm highly skeptical of these
claims. If they were true, the right wing whores
would be shouting them on TV every night.
But I could use a little help with my refutation.
If you have the facts handy, I'd love
an assist.
Thanks, man.
Santoast
Dude, you came to the right place.
Was your friend naked, and very hairy,
and hanging from a tree branch by one arm?
I ask because he sounds like a ditto-monkey.
1. When Ollie (R-Traitor, liar) testified
before congress, he said Abu Nidal was a bad man.
Osama was still in bed
with the Bushes at the time, so Ollie would stay quiet about him.
2. It was a different Mohammed Atta.
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Quotes
"Polls show up to 94 percent of the Turkish
people are against invading Iraq.
Trying to overcome that, it seems to
bring democracy to Iraq we have to
first take it away from Turkey."
-- Jon Stewart
From: JStONGE123@aol.com
Shut....the f#$k up and go to France.
(He sent a picture of the WTC rubble)
Dear Monkey,
Have you enlisted yet?
Or you just want the other guys to go?
2 Indicted in Plot to Buy Arms for Iran
Excerpt:
An indictment handed down by a grand jury
in Baltimore accuses En-Wei Eric Chang,
a naturalized U.S. citizen residing in
Taiwan, and David Chu, a Taiwanese resident,
of trying to purchase early warning radar,
Cobra attack helicopters and U.S. spy
satellite photos for Tehran in violation
of the U.S. embargo against Iran.
Wait, if this is a crime, why isn't Poppy Bush in jail?
He STOLE weapons from out Defense Department to give to Iran.
He did this after promising he wouldn't deal with terrorists.
Then he took the money and bought cocaine with it.
But that's not illegal because the Bush's are royalty?
Is this like Jeb Bush's daughter gets to use cocaine and can't
be arrested in Florida?
Oh, that's
right.
We forgot
about him so we can invade Iraq.
Excerpt:
There have been, though, no cable-news
talk shows debating the nature of neurotic obsession - the son’s
dealing with the father’s issues. (Obviously,
though, given his repeated delineation of Bush the Father and
Bush the Son, this is on Saddam’s mind.)
Nor even has there been much discussion of the possibly cynical
nature of all this: that it worked so well
once before, so why not do it again?
There’s been scant wag-the-dog talk here—not
like with the Clinton adventures, when you could
make that reference and suggest a large
and conspiratorial subtext and have lots of people eager
to believe it. There have been few Strangelove
references, either (even about Wolfowitz).
That's a good point - there's not even any discussion about this.
When Clinton was president, they'd FABRICATE topics like,
"What if Clinton strangled a prostitute?"
and then they'd get their little round table
and go around and get everybody's reaction to that evil Clinton
killing again.
But when the unelected fraud drags us into a never-ending war,
all we hear is "traitors" and "treason!"
This is what happens when Republicans own all the airwaves.
Well, they don't own bartcop.com and
they can't stop BartCop Radio.
Target date for the first broadcast is April 15th.
It's so exciting!!
Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
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Holy
reunion! Adam West, Burt Ward in 'Batman' TV film
And Riddler and two Catwomen join up
Excerpt:
Thirty-seven years after Adam West and
Burt Ward kept Gotham City safe,
the Dynamic Duo is back together for a
peek at what really happened behind the scenes.
"Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of
Adam and Burt" airs Sunday night.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson