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Volume 1103 - They did well

Click to read the free chapter and order

Tues-Wed   July 1-2, 2003 


"Howard Dean can roll up his sleeves all he wants at public events, but as long as we see
  that heart tattoo with Neville Chamberlain's name on his right forearms, he's never going anywhere."
   -- Former funnyman-turned Nazi Dennis Miller, praising Bush's rush into an illegal war

 Hey Dennis, if Bush is such a hero to you, where are the WMDs?
 Don't you think a bully needs a reason to murder smaller countries?
 Will you praise Bush every time he murders a country?
 Or is the murder of Iraq particularly close to your heart?

"Daddy says it's not murder if oil is involved..."

 Oblivious in D.C.
     by Bob Herbert

  Click  Here

 As Mr. Bush moves from fund-raiser to fund-raiser, building the mother of all campaign stockpiles, states from
 coast to coast are reaching depths of budget desperation unseen since the Great Depression. The disconnect here
 is becoming surreal. On Thursday the National Governors Association let it be known that the fiscal crisis that has
 crippled one state after another is worsening, not getting better.

 Taxes have been raised. Services have been cut. And the rainy day funds accumulated in the 1990's have been
 consumed. If help does not materialize soon ó in the form of assistance from the federal government or a sharp
 turnaround in the economy ó some states will fall into a fiscal abyss.

 It's not going to get better, it's going to get worse. The whole country is sliding into the fiscal abyss,
 but Bush, the networks, cable TV and talk radio say "This is all Clinton's fault - he had sex."

 ...and the poor sheep believe everything they hear.


"People are forgetting that there were a broad range of reasons given for dealing with
  the Iraq situation now rather than later. The WMD issue was one of them, but there
  were a broad range of issues. And now everyone is focusing on this. I think that there
  is still a bias in the press. I don't harp on it, I think we're past it, but the point is, the idea
  that this administration has lied or misled, to come to that conclusion now, that reveals a
  bias in the media. And that's what people are tired of. They are tired of it."
    --Laura Ingraham, Is Bush a Liar?

 I still can't figure out why it's an impeachable offense to lie about sex, but it's OK to lie about the
 reasons for war where 200 brave men die for no goddamn reason - and anyone who asks is unpatriotic,
 and there seems to be not one on-camera reporter in America who will ask that question.

 Out of Control

  Click  Here

"While I cannot take sides in the Democratic primary, I believe Wesley Clark, if he runs,
  would make a valuable contribution because he understands America's security challenges
 and domestic priorities,'' Clinton said. ``I believe he would make a good president.''

 Subject: scapegoating Nader

 While I appreciate your cite for demonstrating some courage,
 I'm shocked and awed  that you'd blame Nader.
 It's my understanding that if you vote for the lesser of two evils you still vote for evil.

 A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush.
 If you want to vote for Bush, I can't stop you.
 But don't be like Nader and whine that Bush gave his friends $11 trillion dollars,
 because President Gore would not have done that - you see that, right?

 Gore won Florida by more votes than Nader received there.
 The R's stole the election, plain and simple.
 Quit blaming others and hold the criminals responsible.

 Of all the people involved in The Great Theft,
 only Bush and Nader are smirking about it.


"Coalition forces drove Iraq's terrorist leaders from power. But Saddam never surrendered:
  The remnants of the Baath Party and the Fedayeen death squads faded into the population
  and have reverted to a terrorist network."                Attribution
    -- Rummmy, who, after 61 brave men have been murdered,
        seems to recognize that there might be a slight problem in Iraq

 Does Gen. Clark have the hunger?
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Judging by the calls and e-mails I get from all over, Clark would have an excellent
 shot at the Democratic nomination. His appearances as an expert military commentator
 on CNN have won him a following among Democrats and independents who still feel
 betrayed over the 2000 election, sick of having their patriotism maligned by blowhard
 country singers, standup comics and Fox News bloviators, and eager to do a little
 flag waving of their own.

 Subject: Bush Takes "em Away

 One of the soldiers killed yesterday in Iraq is from the town next to mine, Linden NJ.
 This morning I went out to get supplies in a Quik Chek store. As the grandmotherly clerk
 was putting my stuff in a bag, she read the headline about him and said "That poor baby.
 You raise your kids up to a certain age and then Bush comes and takes them away."
 I didn't comment due to a hangover.

 Yesterday we had our Legion picnic. Early in the day, two gentlemen walk in and begin
 handing out campaign business cards. When they got to me they introduced themselves
 and said they were running for state senate. I said "Democrat, I hope."
 They said, "No, Republican."     I handed the cards back and said "Keep it".
 They left quietly.

 Chaplain Rude Rich


"U.S. officials need to get our [expletive] out of here. I say that seriously.
  We have no business being here.  We will not change the culture they have
  in Iraq, in Baghdad. Baghdad is so corrupted. All we are here is potential
  people to be killed and sitting ducks."         Attribution
     --Staff Sgt. Charles Pollard

"Have that coward whipped and beaten and thrown in the brig."

 Subject: priorities

 Bart, you wrote:

>"Jobs and budgets and losing your life's savings aren't important.
> What people want is the guarantee that their president isn't having sex - that's all that matters."

 Now Bart, we know that nobody has ever had a blow job before, and it just follows that
 nobody would ever lie about it.  What Clinton did could set a dangerous precedent.
 We all know that this is not a healthy, wholesome activity like getting people killed
 and stealing and torturing cats.


 I mailed a bagload of stickers out lately.

 You can get  stickers free.
 Send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155

 Donations accepted, but not required.

 Are U.S. journalists truly spineless?

  Click  Here

 Justin Webb, a Washington correspondent for the BBC, recently posed this question to his audience:
"Are American journalists simply spineless? Do they toe the line because they love the President?
 Or because their employers do?"

 Webb raised the question after hearing Dick Cheney deliver the following statement in reference to
 the war in Iraq: "You did well - you have my thanks." This praise was not directed to our troops or
 members of the president's Cabinet; it was lavished upon members of the American Radio and
 Television Correspondents Association at their annual dinner.

...and screw the poor

 Funnyman Buddy Hackett Dies at 78

  Click  Here

 Comedian Buddy Hackett, who appeared for more than 50 years as a top act in nightclubs,
 TV and movies, died at his LA home late Sunday or early Monday. He was 78.

 In the beginning, his material was suitable for family audiences, but in later years nightclubs
 advertised his show "For Mature Audiences Only." His performances in those days were
 noted for their prolific use of four-letters words at a time when that just wasn't done.

 Buddy Hackett was a giant.  He had a face for comedy, and he delivered the goods.
 He's one of those rare people, like Robin Williams or Jon Stewart,  who was always funny.
 I'm surprise this next story didn't make the obit. I can't even tell you the decade, it was probably
 the late seventies, but he was a semi-regular on Johnny Carson.

 One night, Carson went to a commercial, and when they came back, Johnny and the entire
 studio audience was in such an uproar they had to delay the show for a few minutes.
 Buddy used to tell these loooong stories, but the punchline was always a killer.
 This particluar story was too much for TV, but the crowd got to hear it.

 They were doubled over for so long, Johnny kept apologizing for not being able to compose
 himself, saying, "Oh, how I wish we could tell that story on the air."  They talked about
 that one appearance on Carson for years, and I never got to hear the joke.

 Any chance someone out there knows what joke he told?
 I'm almost 50, and owned two nightclubs - I think I can handle it now...

 Also surprising that Vegas wasn't in the obit.
 After Buddy turned blue, (in what, the late sixties?) Vegas was his bread & butter.
 His best stuff couldn't be told on TV, so where else could he go?

 Just guessing, but back in the daus when Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx were working blue,
 there weren't many white comics doing strong material besides Buddy Hackett.
 I'll miss Buddy Hackett.  He was a giant.

 Subject: Sexist Standards

 Bart, you wrote:

> Did you see Beyonce on the Essence Awards?

 Aah, for the good old days when R&B singers had hits because of their SINGING, like Aretha Franklin.
 OK, there was Tina Turner, but can ANY black female who isn't a BABE make it anymore?

 Contrast that with the black males, who not only can be fat but don't even have to be able to sing at all.
 These people who think criticizing popular culture is necessarily reactionary have their heads up their asses...


 Dude, you got it all wrong.
 Beyonce can sing - she's got the whole package.

Click  to  Order

 Is Bush gay?
  Betty Bowers builds a case

  Click  Here

 Move Over, Pigboy: The Liberals Are Coming

  Click  Here

 Clear Channel Radio announced that in the near future this corporate owner of over 1,200 radio stations
 is considering programming some of their talk stations "in markets where there are already one or two
 stations doing conservative talk" with all-day back-to-back all-liberal talk show hosts.

 I don't believe them - not for a second.
 I think they've become so closely allied with Bush and the Nazi right that they're
 floating this story to make people think they're trying to be fair.

 When are Nazis ever fair?

 Subject: MStrom Thurmond


 I am sitting here watching MSNBC's effusive coverage of Strom Thurmond's funeral, and I am
 growing increasingly sick. Mother Teresa's death didn't receive this kind of salivating, effusive coverage.

 The media has gone on and on about how Thurmond "changed." He hired the first black aide, we are told.
 He supported the MLK Jr. holiday. I can say one thing to this: Whoopty shit. The man was a racist.
 His change was one of political convenience, much like George Wallace's. It took a bullet to "change" Wallace.
 Thurmond had no such life-changing experience.

 Claiming that one should respect Thurmond because he made a few token gestures toward "nigras" (his term, not mine)
 is like claiming that one should admire John Wayne Gacy because he didn't kill anyone once he got to Death Row.
 The damage had already been done.

 Thurmond's gift was one of longevity. Simply because a person lives through a lot of history does not mean that they
 are a respectable part of that history. Thurmond is a shameful part of that history. Kept in office for nearly half a century
 only because he said what people wanted to hear and because of his special ability to funnel pork into the state of South
 Carolina, he is a testament to why both term limits and senility tests should be prerequisites for public service.

 Goodbye Strom, and may your ideas die with you.

 John H.

 John, great points you made.
 Carolina elected him again and again BECAUSE he was a racist bastard.
 They sent him to DC, "to keep the niggers from getting too much civil rights."

 The Innocent Are Victims, Too
    by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 The name of Sunny Jacobs sounded familiar to me, but I didnít remember why until she mentioned
 her common-law husband, Jesse Tafero, who was sent to prison with her for the same heinous crime
 in 1976. They were convicted on the word of Walter Rhodes, a felon and friend of Mr. Tafero who
 avoided the death penalty by testifying against them. He swore that Mr. Tafero and Ms. Jacobs had
 each somehow fired rounds from the same pistol that killed Florida Highway Patrol trooper Phillip Black
 and his friend, a Canadian constable named Donald Irwin.


"Dennis Miller no longer has an agent. He now employs a pimp."
     Barry Crimmins, at

  U.S. Troops Trapped In Iraq

  Click  Here

 According to Rummy & George, the Iraq War is over, there are only small pockets of criminals;
 according to this Vietnam veteran, the war has changed to a guerrilla war the U.S. will lose.

 Nearly two months after Bush declared an end to the war in Iraq, with great fanfare and total self-confidence,
 61 U.S. soldiers have died and the Iraqi attacks are escalating on our troops. Clearly the fighting is not over,
 some say itís only beginning. But what kind of fighting?

 Shepard Smith: Why Is He Such An Asshole? 

  Click  Here

 ...the only freaking news station I can get is Fox News. This means that Shepard Smith, TV's answer to getting
 blasted in the groin with a shotgun, is more or less the sole source for televised news I have available. I've been
 studying this Shepard Smith, as I feel it is important to have a firm understanding of your enemy's methods and
 behavior. This study has left me with one lingering question: why is Shepard Smith such an asshole? I've spent
 more than enough time thinking about this, and I've come up with some theories that I think may well shed better
 light on the mystery of the giant bug that crawled up Shepard's ass and laid its eggs, which in turn hatched creatures
 that excrete a pheromone that causes asshole-like behavior. Don't get confused there, that line about the bugs
 and the asshole pheromone wasn't one of my theories Ė I was just being poetic.

 Harry Potter and the Fruits of Denial
   by Tamara Baker

  Click  Here

 Strom Thurmond dies, and not only does the man currently occupying the White House praise the old
 race-baiting mountebank as "extraordinary", not a single one of the media euologies I've seen or heard
 -- in print, on the radio, or on TV -- dares mention the words "Southern Strategy." The closest the US'
 GOP/Media whitewashers come to it is when they disingenuously state that Thurmond left the Democratic
 Party in 1964 "to support Barry Goldwater's presidential campaign against Lyndon Baines Johnson."

 The US media, however, won't mention why Thurmond preferred Goldwater to LBJ. I however, will:
 It was because LBJ was the strongest president on civil rights since Abraham Lincoln himself.

 This is a great point.
 Reagan, Heston, Thurmond and Lott were all Democrats at one time.
 But when Democrats wanted civil rights for blacks, these sons of bitches bolted.
 They wanted a whites-only party, and the modern day Republican Party was born.

 Bush Pins Slump on Clinton

  Click  Here


"Two-and-a-half years ago, we inherited an economy in recession," Bush lied.
 Then, last summer, Bush revised his history of when the recession began.  Beginning in August 2002,
 he began to say that "we did, in fact, inherit an economic recession." Addressing Republican governors
 in September, he declared: "I want you all to remember that when Dick Cheney and I got sworn in,
 the country was in a recession." In May of this year, Bush even gave the recession an official starting date
 three weeks before he took office, saying "our nation went into a recession, starting January 1 of 2001."

 He's such a liar, and NOBODY will call him on it but a few websites.
 He started out saying we had to have those wacky tax cuts because the economy was booming.

 Now, he says he inherited a recession, it's all Clinton's fault and, of course, the press agrees with him.
 He's the most dishonest presuident in American history, but why should he stop lying
 if the Democrats and the press agree to back up every lie he tells?

 I imagine our 2004 presidential nominee will be "too polite" to mention any of this.

 Crim Quips

  Click  Here

 Get this: Bush is making an active effort to shore up his support among the right wing. WOW.
 I guess the destruction of the tax code, rampant militarism, the appointment of federal judges
 that did their law clerking for Genghis Khan, environmental policies that will soon turn make
 our national flower the tumor and the integration of church and state just wasn't enough for
 the paranoid right to believe in Bush's absolute subservience to their cause.

...while Democrats hide

 hey bart-

 been a while since i've heard from you...aren't we good friends anymore?

 hee hee, i suppose you are mad at me for telling you that the lynch story
 was bunk way back when you fell for the propaganda and worried about
 iraqis liking her (too much) for her blonde hair...


 MM, can you see Earth's sun from the planet you're on?
 What did I say about Lynch that wasn't true?

 My praise for her was for her bravery.
 And if she ever tells her story, I'd like to be wrong about the blond hair.


"The truth has become apparent. The Americans painted a picture that they
  would come, provide good things to the Iraqi people, spread security,
  but regrettably...Iraqi people hate the Americans. There's no security,
  there's no stability in Iraq. I swear to God, things are going to get worse."
      --Sgt. Sami Jalil                      Attribution

"Shoot him in both knees!"

 Subject: Re: Clinton never losing any men in battle

 Perchance do you have a link?


 Al, I have my link explaining the truth,
 but good luck finding the truth about Somalia in the Bush-owned media.

 The 18 that died in Somalia were, apparently, much, much more important to American history
 than the almost-1000 that died from Reagan/Bush/Bush neglect and bungling of foreign policy.

 Because Reagan, Bush and Bush "knew what they were doing, and Clinton had sex."

Our first ever "must have" store stuff.

Deficit mugs and shirts!
Give to your snotty GOP brother in law.
Prove what a genius Clinton was.
Show him what a working president can do.
Make your ditto-monkey friend feel shame!

Click to own

 Next Up, the Gay Divorcée
   by Dragon Lady Modo

  Click  Here

 There's a serial cat killer on the loose in the West.
 Has anyone checked Bill Frist's alibi?

 ha ha

Click to Enter

 U.S. Arrests Iraqi Governor Over Kidnap Charges
  Bush sure knows how to get like-minded people to work for him.

   Click  Here

 U.S. forces in Iraq arrested the Bush-appointed interim governor of the holy Shi'ite city of Najaf
 on Monday on charges of kidnapping, holding hostages and committing financial crimes, officials said.

 Kidnapping, holding hostages and committing financial crimes?

 Those aren't crimes in the B.F.E.E. - those are sacraments.
 That's how the B.F.E.E. got into power.

 Bush made an illegal deal with Islamic Jihad to keep our hostages until after the 1980 election.
 And Grandpa Prescott Bush had to pay a fine for his financial crimes with Adolph Hitler, but that's
 not as important as the BIG questions - like "Did Clinton's mother gamble in Hot Springs?"

 I very much dislike the whore press in this once-great country.

Marty's E! page
Reader Review of '28 Days Later'
CNN's Kate Snow re-locating to ABC
Distribution fees too high for 'The Hulk' in Germany
New Edith Piaf
BBC under scrutiny
Pickles & the surprise party
'Vegas', the magazine
Iggy Pop & 2 Stooges tour
Last Post ceremony in Ypres, Belgium
Twisted Sister plays family-friendly venues
And, what the hell washed up on the shore in Chile?


 Grand Old Gay Bashers
  Scalia is raging against the coming of the light

  Click  Here

 Scalia's dissent from last week's epochal Supreme Court decision striking down Texas's anti-sodomy
 statute confirms Ayatollah Antonin's standing as the intellectual leader of the forces arrayed against equality
 and modernity in the United States.  In establishing the deep historical roots of anti-gay sentiment in America,
 for instance, Scalia took pains to note the 20 prosecutions and four executions for consensual gay sex conducted
 in colonial times. He noted, approvingly, that even today, "many Americans do not want persons who openly
 engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scoutmasters for their children, as teachers in
 their children's schools or as boarders in their home."

"I was kinda gay back in college, but they made me to it."

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 Zimbabwe calls Powell 'Uncle Tom'

  Click  Here

 Zimbabwe hurled racial epithets at Colin Powell, yesterday, including branding him an "Uncle Tom"
 after his attack on President Robert Mugabe in the New York Times last week.

 In a deliberate echo of remarks made last autumn by the entertainer and activist Harry Belafonte
- who said that Mr Powell adopted a docile mien to preserve his status - the official press called him
 a liar and a self-effacing servant of his white masters.

 ha ha

 Better be careful - this White House will claim you have oil, invade your country and murder you.

 Call the 

You have two minutes to rant away.

 From: ashnak

 Bev Harris says she can prove that the last election was fixed.
 Link to Democratic Underground thread and story.
 She is looking for people to safeguard her evidence also.

 I'm including two of her responses. maybe Bushco will bite the big one after all.

 (This is Bev talking now)

 I will post at least one thread a day on DU. If for some reason you don't see me posting any more, that's a bad sign.

 Oh, please!

 There are others working on this as well. I will check in with a source who will check in with each of them daily,
 and we'll make sure no one disappears.

 Is this a gag?
 If you spilled the beans already, there'd be no reason to shut anybody up - it would be out in the open
 and you'd be safe, but I think somebody is enjoying pretending they're Maxwell Smart.

 That being said, I am putting anyone who is following this on notice:
 The files and the proof have been distributed to a network.
 That network has distributed them to their network.
 Those people have been invited to distribute to their network.

 I wish I'd been sent a copy. Don't you want it distributed?
 Dozens of people read this page.

 The milk is spilled, and if anything happens to any one investigating this, everyone at each level of the networks,
 and their networks, has been notified to consider that a trigger to blow the story open.

 I have an idea - if you have something, why not post it?
 What's with the silly cloak-and-dagger routine?
 If you have something, show it to us and stop with these Joe McCarthy-type games.
"I have it, but I can't show you, but I have it, but I can't show you."

 Lawyers have been engaged.
 We are now working with the level of attorneys who protect activists from the government, in high profile cases.
 We will henceforth be following the advice of counsel.

 This is crap!
 Just post it - that is, if you actually have something...

 What was on that Diebold ftp site?
 I'm told that the identified files are the equivalent of the Pentagon Papers, perhaps worse.

 Don't ask us questions - this is your big scoop.
 Why don't you tell us what you've got?
 I don't like to be jerked around.

 Bev Harris
 Black Box Voting

 (I believe we're back to ashnak now)

 On edit: I was asked to post this so people will know the evidence has been thoroughly seeded, and that any attempt
 to muzzle those who worked on it will trigger much more attention on a much bigger scale.

 If Bev would SAY something, instead of wasting time fearing for her life,
 nobody could erase it from every internet site that runs it.

 I'm feeling really bad seeing all the "kudos to Bev." They belong to someone else,
 and I hope those people can receive appropriate credit as soon as possible.

 Look, I have no beef with Bev, I've never met her, never talked to her, never e-mailed her etc.
 I've heard her name come up in one conversation, so I have no grudge to grind here.
 But so far, this is one bighandjob.   Is there a good reason to pussyfoot this thing to Jupiter and back?

 If you have something, let's see it.
 If not, stop playing 007.

 BevHarris (2991 posts)
 Reply to post #2 6. Following the advice of counsel on what to release and when
 That being said, journalists for two publications have it. One media source in the U.S., one outside.

 Bev, are you selling this story?
 Is that why you're playing "I got it, but nobody can see it?" with us?
 If you're selling this story, your motives are suspect.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

                                               She has the sexiest brain in music.

 Shirley - call me, just to say "Hi!"   Leave a two-minute message, if you would.
 I'll play it for your fans at  Maybe say some nasty things about George Bush.

 As far as I know, Shirley, our politics are identical.

 Bush is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
 He's a stupid criminal and a greedy bastard.
 Lucky for Edinburg, Scotland has no oil :)
 Bush would bomb Scotland and steal your oil.

 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Please call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool - and I'll catch you on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
 Hey, if Spike can do it, why can't I?

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