Subject: A very useful quotation

 I knew I remembered this quotation from when I was in Catholic school, and had to learn Latin,
 but couldn't remember where I'd read it.  I finally tracked it down in Plutarch:

 Phocion of Athens was asked when he would advise the people to go to war.  He responded:
"When young men are willing to serve, when rich men are willing to pay their taxes,
  and when politicians stop using public money to line their own pockets."

 It looks to me like we have one out of three in our country

 Brendan



 Subject: "Random" traffic stops begin today in Michigan

 Hey Bart!

 How many 'random' checks do you think I'll get with:
 - a couple of  anti-Smirk bumperstickers;
 - a couple of pro-choice bumperstickers;
 - and a  bartcop  bumpersticker on the back of my car?

 Any good spots around K-Drag where I could move to?
 Or should I consider Canada a little more closely?

 Keep the hammer pounding...

 Tom

 Canadian Citizenship Application Forms

 Click  Here



 Subject: Right Wing Celebrities  

 Bart,
 I have to question why you put Rosie O'Donnell in with right-wing celebrities.
 Not only has she fought valiantly for gay adoption against Jeb Bush in Florida,
 but she's using her celebrity to promote left-wing causes like gay rights and
 gun control (with which you somewhat disagree, but it is a liberal cause).

 And saying that she "lost" her show, when she chose to leave it is really misleading.
 Frankly, it bothers me when my liberal heroes resort to the conservatives' tactic
 of over exaggeration to make a wrong point.

 Perhaps Rosie does not agree with every liberal cause there is, who does?
 But I think it's a mistake to call her one of "them" when she is so clearly one of "us".
 Next you'll be calling Oprah conservative because she is friends with Arnold
 Schwarzenegger (though I honestly can't imagine why she likes him).

 Thanks,
 Cris

 
 Cris, you must be talking about the old O'Donnell.
 The very mention of the new O'Donnell pisses me off.

 Yeah, there was a time when she was a Democrat, but for the last few years she's been
 blasting both Clintons with everything she's got, and she's cuddled up to the Monkey in
 the White House, even tho he'd take her kids from her if he could.

 If you have a strong stomach and can handle the truth, click on rosie-the-slut.htm
 Please write back and tell me where I'm wrong.


 From: Patrick

 Subject: Halloween

 Bart,

 I thought you'd like to see the winner of the Halloween costume
 contest at Our Mother of Perpetual Pain High School.

 That's not funny!!!


 Subject: Homeland Security BS

 I can't believe this bullshit.  After the Grand Old Bastards steal every election they
 can get their oily hands on, after EVERY rundown of the elections say that Democrats
 lost because they kept caving and not standing up for what they're supposed to represent,
 they cave AGAIN on the department of Homeland Security.

 "Homerand Sur-car-iddy"

 "No, Mr. President.  Homeland Security."

 "Sur-cur-P-diddy?"

 To hell with Monica.
 Seems like nearly every Democrat in congress is stumbling over
 themselves to suck off Smirk and his puppetteers.

 Adversary

 Good, I'm glad others are revolted by the Democrat's appeasement of the big bully, too.



 Subject: You want to argue on guns

 I think we agree mostly that the person on a big ranch in the middle of nowhere needs a gun.
 But I wish gun owners would admit that a home with a gun is NOT safer than a home without a gun.
 It is actually much more dangerous.

 Hmmmmmm....

 When you bring a gun (any gun; hand gun or long gun) into a home that weapon is far and away
 more likely to kill or injure someone who lives there than an intruder. That's the fact.

 If that's true, I'll bet it's in homes with children.
 

  I am definately not saying no guns. Here are my ideas for gun control:

 1) When you buy a gun you've just signed up for the "well regulated militia"
     mentioned in the second amendment, and will show up to drill on a regular schedule.

     ha ha
     That's funny, but you're just kidding.

 2) The registered owner of the gun is responsible for that weapon until it is reported stolen.
     PERIOD. So when somebody steals Granddad's rifle, well Granddad is just as guilty
     as the trigger man (or kid).

     So what if Granddad has the gun locked in a safe (stupid place to keep a gun)
     and his 16-year old grandson finds the well-hidden safe combination and gets the gun.

     You're going to put Granddad in prison for being a responsible gun owner?
     I'm not sure I'd want to live in AM's America.
     I think only the guilty should go to jail, and jailing Pops won't bring back the dead.

 If you can't handle those responsibilities you have no business owning a gun.

 AM
 

 AM, what do you do when some idiot starts beating on your door at night?
 Do you pray?
 Do you dial 911 and hope to get something besides a busy signal?

 I've had to pull my gun out either 2 or 3 times.
 Once was in a motel room in Dallas.

 Some large sonofabitch starting BEATING on my door with a vengeance, so I picked up
 the always-ready-to-fire Glock and pointed it at the door and I mentally prepared myself.
 If that door had opened, I was going to check for a police uniform - and if I didn't see one
 I was ready to pull the trigger and take my chances in court.

 Eventually, the guy stopped banging and walked away.
 Afterwards, Mrs. Bart asked, "Were you nervous?" and I said something like
 "I would've been a lot more nervous without the Glock."

 Please tell me what YOU would do in that instance?

 Pray?
 Hide behind the bed?
 Ask the crazed door-banger to give you time to call the cops?
 Travel with a baseball bat and hope he (or they) only brought a pen knife?
 Hope the cops weren't busy at Krispy Kreme?

 C'mon, tell me what you'd do.

 When I had the Hard Rock Island nightclub, some drunker-n-shit biker told me I was
 going to illegally serve him a drink or he was coming over that counter and kick my ass.
 Trust me - he got that drink. I pussied out - I had to, he was drunk and ready to charge me.

 That was the last day (1986) that I haven't been within arm's reach of a gun.
 (Except that one day at Area 51 when some drunks started f-ing with us.
  I had to back down because I left the Glock at the casino because
  we were expecting to be pulled over by the Navy Seal goon squad.

 Another thing - when you're in a bar, the cops figure security is the bar's problem.
 We'd call the cops and say, "We have trouble cooking at the Hard Rock," and the cops
 would say, "Have any shots been fired?" and whern we said no, they suggested we hire
 more security because, like Cheney during Vietnam, they had "other shit to do."

 I am interested in your answer to the motel quiz.
 I will print your answer.

 I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, but since dozens of people will read this, I want to know
 if there's a decent answer to the hotel quiz, so when I make the talk shows, I don't have
 some wiseguy sneak up on me with a good, common-sense alternative to the action I took.



 Subject: Somebody's got to say this

 Bart:
 
 I have just finished this response to an article on MSNBC.com.  Our Liberal Media in action.

 "In defense of 'armchair generals'"

 This is the second article (first being Kelly's 'Chicken Hawks' article) I have seen on this subject,
 and the second stupid straw man arguement.  When are you going to get a real journalist to talk
 seriously about the subject of hypocracy, and what these terms really refer to.  I know these guys
 are intelligent enough to know, so what is it they are really saying?
 

 I have not heard anybody say that experience in war is necessary to decide whether to go to war.
 (Seneca Indians gave this decision to the women, if my references are correct).  But these terms do
 refer to a quality of SO MANY of our leaders that leaves a lot of doubt as to trusting them.

 So, Mr Hitches (and Mr Kelly)  let's start our article with the accepted definition:
 "A person who now advocates war but who once took special measures to avoid military service."

 Now start writing about why Richard Perle, Chaney, Wolfowitz, Ashcroft, DeLay, Hastert, Lott,
 Adelman, etc, etc, etc watched a war they were in favor of go by, that killed many of their generation,
 and actively persued means to avoid being brought into the conflict.  Or even join the military.
 Then go on to explain how we should all just trust the wisdom and leadership these people display.

 NOT!

 Dave Coomber
 

 Dave, I support our military boys, but I wish one of them would explain to me why they
 hate Clinton for trying to stop the Vietnam, meat-grinder, and love the Chickenhawks
 who wiggled out of service and the AWOL sons of bitches who deserted.

 Could somebody explain that to me?



Subject: re: the vote was rigged

Dear Bartcop,

I haven't really said this to anyone, probably because I didn't want to believe it was true,
but I also found the VNS statement on election day to be highly suspicious.

Remember, after the 2000 election, there was a lot of hubbub about what went wrong
with the VNS predictions, and what changes needed to be made.  I kept telling everyone
that would listen, "Hello!  Ahem!  The problem is not VNS -- their data was right!"

In other words, had the election mechanism in Florida accurately captured the will
of all voters, the state would indeed have gone to Gore, and the accuracy of VNS'
prediction would never have become an issue.

Fast forward to election day 2002.  VNS announces that it will not be releasing its
exit poll data because there are problems with it.  I said to myself at the time that if
there is a manipulation of the voting data, that exit poll data would show a discrepancy.
How convenient that there is no such check in an election that defied pre-election poll data.

How widespread are the touch-screen voting systems now?  It's unbelievable that so many
people are suckered into thinking that computerized voting equals more accurate voting.
As a database programmer myself, I know how ridiculously easy it is program a random
1 in 10 or 1 in 20 vote switch.  There is no paper trail, and the mechanism is hidden.

And there is no exit poll data.

When I go to the polls, what makes me confident about my vote being counted is the
serious demeanor and attention to detail of the mostly competent and dedicated poll workers.
If I were to go vote on a touch screen mechanism, I wouldn't feel confident unless I could
see the source code of the program.  But most Americans for some reason believe that
computers do things better than humans.  As the old saying goes, 'Garbage in, garbage out'.

These computer voting systems may come pre-loaded with garbage and it would be
difficult for us to know about it.  At least one of the manufacturers of these systems
- ES&S - employs as its lobbyist Sandy Mortham, founder of Women for Jeb.
Those are the machines purchased by Florida.

I hope that the corporate powers that are increasingly in control of our Government are
not manipulating elections this way.  It seems hard to believe.  I think everybody wants
to believe in the basic integrity of our democracy.  However, at what point does our
desire to believe cloud our perception?  I don't want to be a conspiracy nut either,
but I think we've got to look at these things.  If the vote is being manipulated now,
could it also be that Paul Wellstone's plane was sabotaged to snuff out the voice
of this country's most powerful progressive voice?  Could it also be that this
Administration knew about the 9/11 attacks and allowed them to happen?
It's chilling to think about.

And yet we already know, thanks to the investigations of Greg Palast, that the voting rolls
in Florida were purged of up to 100,000 legal voters, most of them likely Democratic voters,
through the manipulation of a computer program by a company with strong Republican ties.
They have the will.  There is a way.  Could it be done?  Perhaps it could.
Is the mainstream press going to stop them?  Not likely.

If you had asked German citizens in 1935 whether they believed Hilter would try
to take over the world, cause a World War, and exterminate 6 million Jews,
howmany of them would have believed it?  I think I'm going to be sick.

-Peter Fuhry

p.s. - I love your site, sorry for the depresssing rant, and you go ahead and talk about Tequila
and Shirley Manson all you want (for if you don't then the terrorists have already won)

"And I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords"
          -Kent Brockman



 Subject: hey, I'm a good guy, really

 Rome,
 I wish my accomplishments were recognized like my fellow world leaders.
 Why don't people like me?

 signed.
 Stalin


 Hey Cop,
 
 When I tried to say something about bartcop at lucianne.com
 they kicked me off the website.  Did you piss off Luicianne?
 
 Doug White
 

 Doug, not specifically.
 Lucy the Bat can't handle the truth.

 


 Subject: Dubya the magnificent

 This was clearly written by a big fan of 43:

 "We might as well have one of those inflatable dolls with sand in its base in the Oval Office
 - one of those horrible looking things with a big red nose that you can punch as hard as you want,
 only to have it bounce right back up and leer at you some more. Nobody really likes it or wants it
 around, but it serves a useful purpose because all the deranged people who maintain it keep talking
 endlessly about what a wonderful leader it is, and how privileged we are to see it make so many
 quality decisions on behalf of its subjects.

 Even if the fuckiní thing gets a hole in its side and it slowly deflates, the press corps will blither on
 about how inspiring it all is, and how once itís back on its feet, the firm, decisive leadership to which
 weíre all accustomed will be more impressive than ever. Never mind that all the thing ever does is
 wobble around and stare stupidly from its piggish little plastic eyes, because itís our president,
 and is entitled to our absolute respect and utmost deference."

 TE



 Subject: Remembering Who We Are

 While I am a Christian and an American before I am a Democrat, I am nonetheless, very proud to be a Democrat.

 I am proud to be a Democrat, because when this country was ravaged with an economic depression, we were
 the party who stepped in to help and with the leadership of Franklin Roosevelt, we stopped the starving and
 put people back to work.

 I am proud to be a Democrat, because we were the party who decided that after working one's entire life,
 that there ought to be some kind of decent living or pension for retirees and we formed Social Security. I am proud
 to be a Democrat because we were the party who brought forth the G.I. Bill so our returning veterans could have
 a chance to go to college and get an education. I am proud to be a Democrat because we were the party that tried
 to finish what Lincoln started and finally end racial injustice and segregation. And while we are still not quite there yet,
 we shall overcome.

 I am proud to be a Democrat because we are the party that fought for Medicare and Medicaid, reduced lunches
 for poor children, head start, the family leave bill, clean air and water and a first rate education for every American
 child regardless of his or her social or financial status. I am proud to be a Democrat, because while we understand
 that businesses need to make a profit and we must constantly grow the economy,  we must still also take care of
 our priorities. Our priorities must always be children and the working poor who only want to live the American
 Dream like the rest of us who have been very blessed in our lives. John Kennedy once said, "If we cannot help
 the many who are poor, how can we ever expect to save the few who are rich."

 This is why I am a Democrat. I urge every Democratic candidate to be sure they know why they are a Democrat
 and then proclaim those values and our vision for the future of this great country. If we do that and we keep God
 always as our first focus, we will have made a great contribution to our country.

 Stay proud.
 Bruce Archer



 Subject: One Side and One Side Only

 Funny how the Dems can hold a memorial for Wellstone and because their political passion
 for their beliefs surfaces they are chastized for "turning a funeral into a political rally, but when
 a draft-dodging SOB uses one of America's most solemn holidays which commemorates those
 who died nasty deaths in defense of their country as a photo op and forum for his oil war,
 the American press does not spend the next full week trashing his "vulgar" display of raw politics.
 
 c dubya
 
 
 CD, that's what happens when the press is owned by the family who stole power.
 We don't have a free press in this counrty.
 Our press is a f-ing joke.


 Subject: Jesus

 Hey Bart,
 
 What would Jesus do if he had nuclear weapons?
 
 Keep up the good work.
 Dr. C

 
 Well, "W" claims he's a Christian, so I guess that proves Jesus would bomb
 and murder a hundred thousand goat herders, just like Monkey Boy.



 Subject: You're cool, dude

 The future looks pretty bleak.  The media is run by ditto-monkeys.
 The country is run by fascists.  The economy's shot to hell.
 I'll never afford retirement (in 2055).  The world's going to hell in a handbasket.

 Oy vey, I wish Clinton was still president.
 Or at least I wish Dubya would just stop being so damn stupid.
 But it will never happen.  Sigh.

 Thank Moses I still have your site to bring me the truth.
 Keep up the good work, sonny boy, you make me proud to be a non-pansy.

 Tessie



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