Denny's

 I went to the I-244 Denny's for lunch today.
 I've never been in a Denny's in my whole life.
 I seated myself and looked around.

 I saw a black man with a clipboard, I assumed he was the manager on duty.
 Good.
 Remember all the trouble they had with their terrible racial profiling?

 Trouble is, ten minutes went by and I still haven't seen a menu.
 Was I a victim of reverse-racial profiling?  (just kidding)

 I finally got a menu and, being real hungry, ordered a "double-decker" cheeseburger
 with everything and some hash browns (instead of canned fries) and a coke.
 She brought me a dry cheeseburger with lettuce only.

 Who ever heard of a cheeseburger with lettuce only?

 And she brought me fries instead of hash browns. When I told her that I didn't get
 my hash browns, she took my plate away and went back to the kitchen with it.
 If I'd known it would cost me my cheeseburger I would've stayed quiet about it.
 By the time the hash browns were done, the dry burger "with everything" was cold.

 I don't think I'll be going back to Denny's in this lifetime.

 Delta Cafe

 I hate these horrible "theme" restaurants.
 The theme here was "Down home cookin' like Grandma serves."
 Trouble is, it was "Granny," as in "Beverly Hillbillies" instead of Grandma.

 The waitresses were all dressed like Elly May, which isn't all bad, with those
 lil' halter tops and all, but then the girls spoke and ruined the fantasy for me.

 "How's y'all doin' today?"

  I responded with an icy "No smoking, ...please."
 
 Why did we even come here?
 Someone told Mrs. BartCop that Delta Cafe had fresh fried chicken fingers to die for.
 They were half-right - we almost died after eating them.
 The waitress promised they were handmade, but I doubt that.
 I'd like to get her on a witness stand and declared a hostile witness.

 Plus, the problem with any restaurant chain is portion control is king.
 The only way to make the fried chicken fingers a uniform size is to
 rubber mallet them into paper-thin slices and then fry them.

 The result?
 Extra-super crunchy slivers the size of Waverly Wafers.
 I can't sink my teeth into Waverly Wafer-sized fried chicken.

 Score:  BartCop's fried chicken 1,  Delta Cafe 0.

 But the news isn't all bad.
 There's a place in K-Drag called "Peppers."
 We moved to K-Drag in 1976, the year Peppers opened.
 We've been there a hundred times in 25 years, and I'll bet we've only had 2 bad meals.
 Good God, man, what are the odds? What are the odds?

 They have a lecherous old man hiring the waitresses, and I'm sure, because the waitresses
 are always cute and - go figure - they're smart enough to get the order right.

 Cute and smart?
 In K-Drag, Oklahoma?

 The food is very good, (not spectacular) but the service, the price, the waitresses
 and the 98 percent batting average make Peppers a  bartcop.com  favorite.

 They have an everything menu, but we like their Mexican food the best.
 I get the shreaded beef tacquitos, she gets the chicken floutas.
 Swear to Koresh, the last 25 times we've been there the food was perfect.
 You can't get that kind of consistency anywhere, these days.

 Like most Mexican restaurants, they think Jose Cuervo is "real tequila,"
 so I just have a Coke and Lorena enjoys the house margaritas.
 

 So when YOU accidentally pass thru K-Drag on your way to a habitable city,
 try eating at "Peppers" at 61 & Memorial if you want a decent meal.