From  Volume 400 - He Hate Me

 How the media treats Democrats

Clintons leave with $190,000
 ...and Reagan left with a $2,000,000 mansion

Clinton Pardons Rich Felon
...whose lawyer and chief cheerleader is Dick Cheney's choice for Chief o'  Staff

Clintons Vandalize White House
 ...but so far there's no evidence except the word of "unnamed" Smirk staffers.

Colorful headlines, aren't they?
But it's just the whore press, acting like your neighbor's bratty kids.

Y'know, I have a few ideas on how to improve the American whore press.

Rule Number One
No more "The White House says."

That building cannot speak.
If Ari says it, say, "Ari said it."

Rule Number Two
Stop Protecting Sources who Lie

You need your secret sources? Fine.
Tell them you'll protect them as long as it's the truth.
But when they feed you  horseshit  like the phony vandalism story, you should turn around and say,
"Robert Parker of the White House Communications Office told me that big, fat lie."
Why protect a source who lied to you?

That would stop a whoooooole lot of this crap.

Rule Number Three
No More Reports from "AP" or "Reuters"

I don't want to see one more story "by the AP"

That's horseshit!
You say, "This story is by William F. Jenkins in the New York Bureau of the AP,"
but these horseshit stories attibuted to thousand-member news organizations provides
nothing more than an skirt for you lying whores to run under when the goddamn truth shows up.

Rule Number Four
No more of this Piggyback crap

"AP reports that Matt Drudge is reporting..." is how cowards report the news.
If you don't know it's true, let Drudge have the story until you can prove it, yourself.
The New York Whore Times was once a great paper, until Matt Drudge starting making
their editorial decisions for them. The "Old Grey Lady" is now the aging whore nobody wants.

Rule Number Five
Remember the first thing you learned in journalism class.

I'm soooo tired of reading stories without the who, why, when, where and how.
For Christ's sake, show the story to a friend before you file it.
If your friend doesn't understand what you're trying to say, we can't either.

Rule Number Six
Use your fucking head.

We have a thousand stories about "the vandalism the Clinton's did to the White House."
No thought to the difference between an allegation and a fact.
No thought to the motives of the lie-spreaders.
No thought to asking for pictures.

Is there not a goddamn camera in Washington DC?

Christ, you reporters aren't fit to write high school football recaps.
Don't you have even the least little bit of pride?
Why don't you object to being Smirk's personal whores?

There's a lot of other steps the whore press could take to clean up their tarnished reputations
and slut-for-hire image around the world, but those six, easy steps would be a good start.

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