Flashback with me to the night of November 7th.
About 10 PM, the networks called Florida for Gore.
Reporters were summoned to Smirk's hotel.
Reporters: Smirk, how does it feel to be the big loser?
Smirk: I don't care what your projections say, I'll still win Florida
...and then he smirked for the camera.
At the time, we thought it was just brainless, Texas bravado.
Little did we know...
It was all a fix, from the very beginning.
-Poppy's CIA people, here to "assist" with carrying the votes
-Jeb's cops stopping the black people from voting,
-Christie Whitman helping to get the "bad people" off the voting rolls,
-the voting machines in black counties that weren't tuned up
-the Exit Polls showing Gore, but the "quick count" showing Smirk,
-Katherine the Grate certifying the "quick count."
-and then that fix of a sham put on by the Whore Court
The fix was always in.
To this day, there's been no mention of the box of ballots the
Miami PD had stored
in their evidence room. Even a damn small box could hold thousands of votes.
And how could Smirk watch as every network call Florida
then stare into the camera and guarantee the viewers, "I'm going to win Florida."
It was a fix, and the American voters were the victim of a screw job.
Clinton May Be Called to Testify About Pardon
Whore City - Formerly half-sane Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) is threatening to call Bill Clinton to testify
So far, I like this story better than the "Paula Jones Lawsuit Dismissed" story.
about his pardon of Marc Rich.
Specter scheduled a Judiciary Committee hearing
for Feb. 7 on the Rich pardon, already the subject of
an investigation by the never-sane Dan Burton (R-Abandoned bastard son) due to start on Feb. 8.
Whites-only tobacco whores have blasted the pardon,
suggesting Clinton was swayed by contributions.
Clinton said he acted on the legal merits of the case.
"There well may be an invitation to Bill Clinton
on the analogy of President Ford,'' Specter lied.
referring to Ford's testimony to the House Judiciary Committee in October 1974 concerning his
controversial pardon of former President Richard Nixon in the Watergate case.
Yes, because when specifically asked in his VP confirmation hearings
if he'd pardon the crook,
Ford intentionally misled congress under oath when he testified "the country wouldn't stand for it."
Since that statement had nothing to do with Clinton's cock, it was taken at face value.
Besides, everyone knows what Clinton would to to anybody who
tried to play word games
with him in front of a live TV camera. Clinton makes me look worse than The Bird in a debate.
How the media treats Democrats
Clinton's leave with $190,000
and Reagan left with a $2,000,000 mansion
Clinton Pardons Rich Felon
who's lawyer and chief cheerleader is Dick Cheney's choice for Chief o' Staff
Clinton's Vandalize White House
but so far there's no evidence except the word of "unnamed" Smirk staffers.
Colorful headlines, aren't they?
But it's just the whore press, acting like your neighbor's bratty kids.
Y'know, I have a few ideas on how to improve the American whore press.
Rule Number One
No more "The White House says."
That building cannot speak.
If Ari says it, say, "Ari said it."
Rule Number Two
Stop Protecting Sources who Lie
You need your secret sources? Fine.
Tell them you'll protect them as long as it's the truth.
But when they feed you horseshit like the phony vandalism story, you should turn around and say,
"Robert Parker of the White House Communications Office told me that big, fat lie."
Why protect a source who lied to you?
That would stop a whoooooole lot of this crap.
Rule Number Three
No More Reports from "AP" or "Reuters"
I don't want to see one more story "by the AP"
You say, "This story is by William F. Jenkins in the New York Bureau of the AP,"
but these horseshit stories attibuted to thousand-member news organizations provides
nothing more than an skirt for you lying whores to run under when the goddamn truth shows up.
Rule Number Four
No more of this Piggyback crap
"AP reports that Matt Drudge is reporting..." is how cowards
report the news.
If you don't know it's true, let Drudge have the story until you can prove it, yourself.
The New York Whore Times was once a great paper, until Matt Drudge starting making
their editorial decisions for them. The "Old Grey Lady" is now the aging whore nobody wants.
Rule Number Five
Remember the first thing you learned in journalism class.
I'm soooo tired of reading stories without the who, why, when,
where and how.
For Christ's sake, show the story to a friend before you file it.
If your friend doesn't understand what you're trying to say, we can't either.
Rule Number Six
Use your fucking head.
We have a thousand stories about "the vandalism the Clinton's did to
the White House."
No thought to the difference between an allegation and a fact.
No thought to the motives of the lie-spreaders.
No thought to asking for pictures.
Is there not a goddamn camera in Washington DC?
Christ, you reporters aren't fit to write high school football recaps.
Don't you have even the least little bit of pride?
Why don't you object to being Smirk's personal whores?
There's a lot of other steps the whore press could take to clean up
their tarnished reputations and slut-for-hire image around the world,
but those six, easy steps would be a good start.
Subject: Fan Mail
Was looking through the site, enjoying it, realising
that (no offense)
you're bitchier than me during Special Weeks of the Month.
Almost like Pigboy. Get a radio show!
Give the non-computer using twits a run for their brainwashed minds.
Another thing: "It's my wild guess you're younger
Give us younger citizens a chance, babe.
I'm 16, editor in chief of the school newspaper (stop laughing),
and am doing my best to shine the light.
At the risk of sounding like a sycophant, you're part of the inspiration.
Remember not to use any "great quotes" unless you verify them first.
Meet the New Boss
We will transform the anger about Florida
into energy about politics.
We will prove there is victory after denial,
. . . democracy after Florida . . . justice after the Supreme Court.
We will give the American people a Congress that they can be proud of,
and we will show George Bush the door in 2004."
You know this: If Katherine Harris,
Jeb Bush, Jim Baker
and the Supreme Court hadn't tampered with the results,
Al Gore would be president,
George Bush would be back in Austin, and
John Ashcroft would be home reading Southern Partisan magazine.
George Bush says he's for election reform.
I say, park the state police cars, take down the roadblocks, stop asking people of color
for multiple forms of ID, print readable ballots, open the polling places,
count all the votes and start practicing democracy in America again.
-- Terry McAuliffe (D-Fighter) at a DNC meeting yesterday.
Terry McAuliffe is Bill Clinton's hand-picked new head of the
Looks like he left us in good hands.
Maybe the spineless Democrats on the Hill have heard the message.
This Just In...
Black Jack Bouvier and Joseph Kennedy were homosexual lovers
These explosive new charges are in a new book by Ann Coulter, and we have the first look.
Black Jack and Joe arranged the Jack-Jackie wedding to hide their illicit love affair,
according to this hot new book that has all of Washington buzzing.
Tune into The O'Reilly Factor tonight at 8 PM for Ann Coulter
Then at 9, Hannity and Colmes discuss how deceitful those homo Kennedys can be.
Then at 10, Paula Von Zahn with, "Why can't the gay Kennedys tell the truth?"
Then tune in Saturday for a special Brit Hume report: "Kennedy's - Lying Fags"
Then Sunday, join us for our special roudtable discussion where Mara Liason and
Juan Williams discuss why the Democratic Party wants your kids to be gay.
Then later Sunday, the belteway Boys discuss these explosive new revelations about,
...yep, you guessed it, the newest Kennedy scandal and why America tolerates them.
Fox News - we distort, you can suck on it.
Feingold tries to explain his
vote for Ashcroft
Russ Feingold would like to make one thing perfectly clear:
He has not gone over to the political dark side.
Commentary by BartCop and Tamara Baker
All Points Bulletin
Wild pig spotted on the links
Did you see Rush Limbaugh play in the golf tournament?
The local TV channel had him on the sports broadcast.
He choked on three or four easy putts.
The sportcaster noted that the putts broke to the left,
so maybe Limbaugh is now a Democrat.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Old Rush is playing in the ATT golf tournament at Pebble Beach.
It showedhim putting from about 3 feet and it took him 4 to get in.
I died laughing.
Hi, I'm Tina, thebartcop.com Pay Pal Girl
I'm doing what I can to gas up the new, gas-powered BartCop Hammer.
We need it to pound the ditto-monkeys and maybe some weak Democrats, too.
If you can help make the hammer bigger, click here ==> .
If you're into snail mail, click "support" at the bottom of this page.
If we hammer Smirk and Tom Delay, we might even get our country back.
From: Nick Barlow, Senior bartcop.com Foreign Correspondent
Subject: Watergate: another theory
Interesting idea about the real reasons for Watergate, from The Big Book Of Hoaxes (Paradox Press):
Have yoy ever heard of Clifford Irving, who faked the 'Autobiography'
of Howard Hughes?
Because Hughes was a recluse in the 70s he was able to convince Time-Life Books that he
had exclusive rights from Hughes to co-write his autobiography.
Anyway, when news of the book (which was never published as the truth
was released by Time-Life, it worried Nixon who thought that there might be details
of illegal loans to him in it:
'Nixon had dealt with Hughes before. In 1956 Hughes had 'loaned' then
Vice-President Nixon's $205,000. The money was never paid back. Democratic
campaigner Larry O'Brien made an issue of the loan which helped cost Nixon
the Presidency in 1960 and the California Governorship in 1962.
'O'Brien was later hired as a political consultant by Hughes. In 1968
gave Nixon an illegal campaign donation of $200,000. But, by 1972, O'Brien
was campaigning for Nixon's opponent George McGovern.
'Nixon fretted even after the hoax was revealed. Finally, burglars were
to break into O'Brien's files...at the Watergate office building.'
Subject: Susan McDougal on Fox
I watched Susan Mc dougal the other night on mini-Rush and Kommes.....
I did a little digging on Neil Bush and look at the dollar amount this one savings and loan cost tax payers.
I also read that the Fed didn't move in till the day after papa Bush was elected.
Which makes me ask, "What did they know and when did they know it?"
Another son of George Bush, Neil, plea bargained after the failure of
Silverado Savings and Loan in Colorado.
45 Federal regulators shut down Silverado shortly after George Bush was elected president in 1988.
Neil was a member of Silverado's board of directors from 1985 to 1988. "There was no conflict of interest,"
Neil told reporters. The Office of Thrift Supervision (OTS) in Washington issued a notice of intent in
January 1990 to hold a hearing on the failure of Silverado Banking Savings and Loan.
The federal bailout cost United States taxpayers $1 billion.
Neil responded to charges made in an OTS report by stating that he had
"breached his fiduciary duty"
to Silverado by engaging in unethical and illegal business deals while a board member of the Denver
savings and loan. The report documented that Neil personally profited from questionable Silverado
loans to his business partners, Ken Good and Bill Walters. Good and Walters later defaulted on
$132 million in loans to Silverado, leaving the taxpayers to pick up the remains.
Subject: Truth Hammer?
I enjoy your site, you are sometimes witty, but always entertaining.
That is also the problem with your site.
Some of your "followers" don't know you are just entertaining them.
You must be because you and your guests
frequently ignore or make up your own facts.
And someone with an IQ above 63 would know two
invalidates a ballot.
Keep up the entertaining work,
Yes, there is an odd contradiction there.
On one hand, I'm an uneducated blowhard.
On the other hand, a whole lot of what I say makes sense,
and even the smart people are afraid to debate me.
I like to have fun, so there's some cotton-candy on the page..
Sometimes I get angry and write something that surprises me.
Sometimes I write about a cold as fuck GI in a tent in the snow on Christmas Day
who's without his family because he's protecting my now-too-old to serve ass.
I'm serious as testicle cancer when I'm talking about our boys in uniform.
Like anybody, I have mood swings.I think that makes the page fun to
This summer, someone said Demo-Con 2000 was boring and I wrote a piece in tears
after realizing it was boring because JFK and Bobby and MLK'd been murdered.
Next thing you know, I'm complaining that the Tenoch Tequila bottle isn't see-thru.
I've been accused of writing down every thought that pops into my head.
But to answer your question, (applause) I'm not a nutcase seeking validation by
inviting others to "join me" in some Jihad - (unless the Democrats continue to whimper.)
I'm mostly looking for a few laughs, but I'm surprised at how easily I can frame a question
that renders a Republican speechless, yet I can't be shut up.
It's a mystery, allright, but I take myself less seriously than the other know-it-alls.
Frank Keating, the bribe-taking governor of Oklahoma, is in the
news double today.
Story one leads us into story two:
1. Bush tells Keating he was candidate for top positions
Whore City — Smirk, who passed over Keating
for VP and AG, assured the governor this week
that he considered him a strong candidate for both positions and holds him in high esteem.
Bush told Keating on Sunday that if he hadn’t
chosen Snarl as his running mate, he would have
picked him, Dan Mahoney, Keating’s communications director, said Friday.
Gee, I wonder how many people have heard that lie?
"Oh, it was always going to be you - until we chose the guy who actually got the job."
Bush said in that same phone conversation that
acceptance of $250,000 in gifts
from retired financier Jack Dreyfus was not a factor in the selection of VP or AG — both jobs
for which Keating appeared at times to be the front-runner.
Bush’s contacts were intended to patch up the
relationship between the men— a relationship
that had been damaged by leaks from Bush’s camp about the Dreyfus gifts to Keating.
Keating has been criticized for taking the money
from Dreyfus, of New York.
Keating met Dreyfus in 1988 and has said that he helped set up meetings for him with federal
and state prison officials, at which Dreyfus argued for giving Dilantin to inmates to keep them calm.
Keating has said the money Dreyfus gave him was not a payment of any kind but a gift.
Newsweek reported the gifts in early January,
which incensed Keating, who thought Smirk leaked
the information to end speculation about why Keating was not chosen as attorney general; to the
Keating camp, the information was intended to make it look like the Dreyfus gifts were a
skeleton in Keating’s closet that could hinder his confirmation.
Keating called Smirk after the Newsweek story
appeared but Smirk refused the call.
However, in the phone conversation with Keating on Sunday, Bush acknowledged that
his aides leaked the information, and he apologized. Bush didn’t explain further.
Well, what do you know?
After Keating campaigned tirelessly for Smirk in 25 states and on countless appearances
on Fox Whore News, Smirk shoves a shiv into his chest and kicks him out of the lifeboat.
Goddamn, it feels good to have loyal friends, doesn't it Mr Keating?
2. You should
hear the Knuckledrag Democrats explain Keating's $250,000 "gifts."
The Tulsa station that carries Rush is going non-stop after the Clinton's "thievery" of the
$190,000 in gifts they received, but they say Keating's $250,000 "was entirely proper."
Funny how the Republican governor can pocket $250,000 "properly" and
are dirty thieves in the night, getting away with "all their crimes."
...and the whore press piles on the Clintons and not Keating, because
quarter-million dollar ongoing bribe has nothing to do with Clinton's cock.
(If you think this is a BartCop gag, think again.)
So, one last time, just to be sure I have it straight:
A Republican, still in office, can accept $250,000 with no problem,
a retiring Democrat accepting $190,000 in gifts just proves his guilt?
Letter to Tom Daschle
A time for outrage
By Jon Dougherty
and the Clinton-haters at WorldNetDaily.com
Subject: Tequila in San Diego
>From the Sunday New York Times travel section, December 3, 2000:
Mexican fare, excellent all over San Diego, is
especially vibrant at El Agave,
upstairs at 2304 San Diego Avenue in Old Town; (619) 220-0692.
Here tequila gets respect, with more than 600
The food is wonderful: handmade fresh corn tortillas, six kinds of mole sauce,
empanadas that dissolve on the tongue.
Dinner for two is about $100, unless you get carried away with sampling tequila.
Do they take American Express?
Here is a dollar. It is all I can spare. Thanks to George Bush and Dick
Cheney and Enron.
I have been pounded with winter heating bills three times my usual rate.
We know this is all a hoax by the fat and greedy Republican Reich to make the rich richer.
Since January 17, a gas leak and explosion has forced citizens of Hutchison,
a community of 40,000 to evacuate their homes and live in emergency shelters. It seems that
our friends the oil barons were cramming abandoned salt mines to the roof with stored natural gas.
The gas that was supposedly so rare, thanks to Clinton and we "Commiecrats," to quote some of
the Limbaugh-quoting shitheads, appears to have been crammed under Hutchison
I agree totally with you about media whores. I worked as a journalist
for 13 newspapers
and edited two weeklies. Read "Friendly Fascism" by Bertram Gross.
HYPOCRISY - the underlying philosophy of the Republican party.
Keep swinging that BartCop Hammer and keep telling the truth.
Sorry I had to send snail mail, but I keep up with your website from the public library.
917 N Custer
Wichita, Kansas 67203
..............................................................................................................................................................POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
Read the Previous
It had everything - Sherman's march, Napoleon's waterloo and the Demo capitulation.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.