Derailed Train
Issue #2

Rush Limba - Lying Nazi Whore


The AP reports today that a student engineer was in control of
a freight train that ran out of control and crashed, killing him
and another crew member near Red Cliff, Colorado. Investigators
say the train was out of control due to serious human error,
specifically the failure to apply the brakes in time.
"Analysis of the train's computer records show the air-brakes were
applied too late to save it," said Larry Kaufman, spokesman for
Southern Pacific. Kaufman said the engineer that made the
error was a trainee, Wayne Reagan.

Wait a minute. I'm getting some serious Deja Vu.

Reagan.....out of control.....serious errors......
train wreck....death.....destruction.....

All that's missing is the $4,000,000,000,000.00 debt.

According to Microsoft Word Thesaurus, synonyms for "dole" are:


As Rush would say,
I am NOT making this up.

Rush Limbaugh Gets Network Deal
New York (AP)

NBC Television network announced they have signed Rush Limbaugh
to a three year deal for a talk show for an undisclosed sum.
Currently in syndication, the Limbaugh show was seen as faltering
until the NBC deal was announced.

NBC West Coast President of Programming, Don Ohlmeyer,
said the signing was part of their Fall '96 promo campaign,
"Must Eat TV."

Doutou, Benin (AP)

Dozens of monkey and crocodile skulls dangle above the altar.
As the crouching priest calls on his gods, a shaft of sunlight
streams into the mud hut and the bony jaws seems to come to life.

In it's West Africa birthplace, voodoo is coming out of the dark.
On Jan 10th, Benin's government inaugurated National Voodoo Day,
giving the region's predominant religion an official place
alongside Christianity and Islam.

Former President Reagan did not immediately return calls.

Rush says the ONLY reason Clinton is pushing HD television is because
the chips are made in California, and they have 54 electoral votes.
Can anyone tell me how many electoral votes Bosnia has? Or Haiti?

The GOP claims to have a "big tent," open to all. If this is true,
why can't they just stop the hate and have a "big country?"

Why should we fund a military if the ONLY goal is to ensure that we
don't spill a single drop of blood?
Remember, Clinton didn't DRAFT MRs. Wilson's first grade class to
go to Bosnia. He sent America's fiercest fighting machine!!!!

The right-wing says America should only have ONE language.
If this is true, shouldn't Phil Gramm learn English
so we can understand what the hell he's saying?

Newt says terrorists will have an atomic bomb within 20 years.
If this is true, isn't that another reason to vote for a Democratic
President? The next GOP president might sell them the weapons they
need, and defend it by calling the sale "a work of art."

Rush says we don't need a flag-burning amendment.
He said "What's next, making it illegal to criticize the President?"
I agree with Rush Limbaugh this time.
And since Bob Dole SPONSORED this "idiocy,"
does that make Bob Dole an idiot?

Castro Was Right

Well, maybe he wasn't right, but I have a question.

If 3 planes took off from Cuba, and flew up the coast towards
Washington DC and refused to talk to American aviation officials
or air controllers, then flew within 15 miles of the White House,
what would our side have done?

Maybe someone could straighten me out.

Some Days You Just Can't Win.

I heard Rush Limbaugh laugh at the news that a homeless man
was crushed to death while sleeping in a dumpster.
Old Rush has a sense of humor.
He makes fun of people.

Rush makes fun of Clinton, too.
He makes a big issue of Clinton's draft avoidance.
Does Rush give people or issues a fair shake?

Would Rush be easier on Clinton if he'd gone to Vietnam?
I wonder how that might've worked out......

Bill Clinton, an outgoing, eager young buck was class president,
captain of the debate team and tight end for the Hope Tigers.
And he had the same passion for war as Pat Buchanan!
Clinton put off his Rhodes Scholarship to volunteer
to kick Charlie out of South Vietnam.

Pat Buchanan hurt his knee kicking a cop's ass, and claimed a medical deferment.
"Damn, I wanted to go fight in that hot jungle," he told the Washington Times years later.
Bill Clinton hit the front lines in August.
He took a bullet in the hip helping a buddy to safety

The bullet shattered the bone and the medics removed his left leg.
Heading back, it took eleven days to get to Saigon, six more to Hawaii,
another 12 to get home to Arkansas.

Bill Clinton arrived back home in Hope, twenty one years of age with a Purple Heart,
a missing leg, depression, bouts with suicide and an addiction to morphine.

Bill Clinton fought his way back from drug addiction.
He beat depression, but then he drifted into severe alcoholism.

He had a few girlfriends over the years but his mood swings and
blackouts ruined the few relationships he could sustain.
In his last years, Bill Clinton drifted to Louisiana, where he
roamed the streets, begging for a few dollars to buy some "Train."

Pat Buchanan went on to be this year's Republican nominee.
Bill Clinton,  Vietnam War hero,  recipient of the Purple Heart,
died last week in New Orleans.

He was 47 years old.
He was crushed in a dumpster,
seeking shelter from the rain.

...and Rush Limbaugh made fun of him.

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