Vol 185 - Uncomfortably Numb

April 1, 2000

Capitol Gang

This has to be the biggest ambush-handjob of the year, so far.
Kato Burn, desperate to attack Gore on anything,  please God, anything,
made this outrageous accusation that's as barren as her former sex life.

Click Here

The lying bitch says that Gore was outrageous for praising that 90-year old
Granny D for walking coast-to-coast while asking for campaign finance reform.

Kato the whore says 10 months ago, Granny D was denied a private meeting
with Gore, and she was told if she wanted to speak with the vice president,
she'd have to pay the $500 that all the other people paid at the fund-raiser.

Kato, you're a lying whore.

Ten months ago, she was just a very old lady asking to see Gore.
Does Smirk meet with every old woman who asks?

No, he doesn't, slut, because people running for president
can't hold private meetings with 270,000,000 Americans.

Now that she made some headlines showing her determination, of course
a politician might speak about her or meet with her, but the "outrage"
happened when she was a nobody asking for a huge freebie.

Tiger Woods had the same problem as Kato.
He was bitching like a little kid that he didn't get invited to the
White House until AFTER he won the Masters last year.


Hey, Tiger!
It was the Democrats who got you into those golf courses.
Republicans don't need "your kind" hanging around, get it?

Granny D and Tiger Woods and that whore Kato all three know
that you get invited AFTER you make your mark - not before.
To suggest otherwise is stupid - even for a ditto-monkey.

Kato, if Al Gore is so goddamn perfect that you have to INVENT shit
to say about him, why not just save the time and vote for him?

...also from Capitol Gang,

Check this out.

Smirk, seizing on Gore's call for Elian to stay here, said,
"Gore should convince the rest of the administration.
 Let's see what kind of pull he has in this administration."

That's another big mistake from the Smirk.

He's saying the VP ought to be able to change the mind of the president.
He's saying if Gore was a serious player in this administration,
he should be able to make Clinton and Reno change their minds?

So, ...that means, ... Smirk's VP might be constantly forcing him
to change his positions on important issues,  or his VP isn't a player?
Smirk seems to be telling us he'll do whatever his VP tells him.

That's a not a president - that's a doormat.

Smirk in the Sky with Diamonds

From:  janetofavalon@hotmail.com

Subject:  Smirk and Hunter S. Thompson

I was reading this story in the New York Observer.
The author mentions meeting Smirk in the early '70s back when Smirk
was still partying. What blew my mind was that Smirk was hanging around
with Hunter Thompson, of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," fame.
I'd like to know what he and Smirk were up to back then.

I've heard rumors that Smirk dropped acid.
Let's hope that Mr. Thompson has his memory intact.


Great Champ Quotes

All Bush had to do was lift his hand and Texas would have had a hate-crimes bill.
And it did not pass because they did not want it to pass. Because they did not
believe that gays and lesbians should be protected by hate-crimes legislation.

   -- President Clinton, beating up on poor Smirk

For a Girl,
Tamara Baker Hits Hard!

 Online Journal

 Subject: GOP Hits the Panic Button

 ...FauxGate machinery kicks into overdrive
 ...Desperate Republicans realize just how close they are
 to losing both houses of Congress and the White House

 By Tamara Baker

 SAINT PAUL, Minnesota, You can hear the klaxons all the way into the heartland.

 The GOP has entered full battle-stations mode, as the realization sinks in
 that they have just entrusted the fate of their party to an unelectable twit.

 Republican behavior, outrageous enough already, has begun to take on the
 flavor of the mad-dog desperation of the Germans in late 1944. They knew
 in their hearts that the war was lost, but they couldn't ever admit it.

 Look at how they've been upping the FauxGate activity. In the past month,
 we've had HsiaGate (which will come to its deserved end when the judge
 dismisses the charges and renders the Sentelle-railroaded verdict null
 and void), E-Mail-Gate (which is raising the question "Why does Dan Burton
 want a defective e-mail server disk when he already has copies of
 everything he SAYS he wants from the disk drive he got two years ago?").

 And the latest one, CensusGate!

 Yupper: That Evil Clinton-Gore Administration (as Klayman and Barr love to
 call it) is just prying into all our lives, and the Noble GOP is going to stop them!

 Er... not quite.

 As (Click Here for CNN) shows, the Republican-led Congress signed off
 on the Census 2000 questions over two years ago.

 What's more, the same Republicans whining about the Census' nosiness were ALSO
 the ones who wanted, as recently as six months ago, to make the Census even nosier!

 Get a load of this passage from the above CNN link:

 "Most members of Congress complaining about the census had a chance to
 offer suggestions when the form was being drafted two years ago.

 "Congress received a detailed list of the questions from the Census Bureau
 and had a chance to weigh in, said Rep. Carolyn Maloney, D-New York,
 ranking member of the House Government Reform Committee's census panel.

 "Maloney said that six months ago, Lott, R-Mississippi, and Sen. Jesse
 Helms, R-North Carolina, sought to require all recipients of the short
 form to state their marital status.

 "'You really cannot have it both ways, Senator Lott,' Maloney said.
 'You can't say you want to add questions and then complain
 that there are too many questions.'"

 And in any event, if the GOP really cared about an accurate census,
 they would have allowed statistical sampling.

 But the GOP prefers that the people in traditionally Democratic areas,
 such as the inner cities, remain undercounted. Helps preserve that
 five-seat Republican edge in the House.

 What a bunch of maroons.

 It will be a pleasure to see them go in November.

 Copyright © 2000, Tamara Baker
 Copyright © 2000, American Politics Journal.
 All Rights Reserved. ISSN No. 1523-1690
 Republished with the permission of Tamara Baker
 and American Politics Journal

 BartCop Resigns

 by BSmasher

 Click Here

 Census Data Disagreement

 From Da Bomb

 Click Here

 Ask BartCop

 From:  tomb@ptialaska.net

 Subject:   When did Dr. Whora come out of the closet?

 On Thursday the bad doctor got a call from a massage therapist.
 The therapist was saying her husband didn't approve of her giving massages to men.
 Laura said that because she was religious she would only get a massage from a woman.
 Now doesn't this rub you in a curious way, Dr. Laura  is saying
 she desires the touch of a woman on her own flesh.
 Does this make her a "biological mistake" and a "deviant?"



 Signs point to yes.



 Hey, you know that Kevin Cunningham guy?
 The guy who does the cool photo-tunes?
  (see below)

 I know two things about him:

 1. He has a cool web page with anti-Rush and anti-Laura stuff that's similar
     to bartcop.com,  but with more intelligence...    Click Here

 2. The reason his work looks so professional is because he's a professional.
     He used to write for Superman, Batman, the Flash, Green Lantern etc.
     He also works for NASA or some NSC thing, but he said not to mention that.

 Kevin's been a busy dude.

 He's doing cartoons for Bushwatch.com  and american-politics.com
 Every Tuesday, he has a new cartoon at Bushwatch.com.
 (Bushwatch is a Smirkasborg of information on the assumed GOP nominee.)

 Someday, you're going to see his name on TV or a Disney movie and you'll say,
 "Hey, that's Kevin Cunningham, who used to hang at BartCop's treehouse.
   He's famous now - I wonder whatever happened to Ol' BartCop?"

 A shot of Chinaco for Kevin Cunningham.

 ...excuse me, it's time for church...

 Ladies, Cover Your Heads

 Remember, a while back, we talked about "Catholic Math?"

 Prayer 6 will get you out of purgatory forty percent faster than Prayer 4.
 What dumb son-of-a-bitch is going to be saying Prayer 4,
 with flames licking their ass forty percent longer?

 Yet - Swear to Koresh - that's what Catholics do!

 Sins get you "X" amount of days in purgatory.
 It's that whole "X" thing that's a bitch.

 If lusting over your neighbor's wife is only 30 days,
 she might be worth 30 days!

 Give us a menu.
 Give us a chart.
 What are the rules?


 I'd like to ask Paulie Walnuts to explain to you how the system works.
 If you don't know, Paulie Walnuts is a very lovable guy in every way,
 except that he's a ruthless, no-conscience hit man for the biggest
 crime boss in New Jersey on the HBO show The Sopranos.

 This show is so good, they make the blood-thirsty killer a fun guy,
 a naive guy, a guy so Catholic he thinks he's going the Heaven!
 A murder-cause-it's-my-job Catholic thinks he's going to Heaven.

 This scene is Paulie, the maddog killer, talking to Christopher,
 another maddog killer who was just shot Sonny-side up by two gay
 up-and-comers, and   ...where's a joke when you fucking need one?

 Christopher died on the operating table, but the doctors brought him back.
 He woke up saying when his heart stopped, he'd gone to Hell, that that was his future.

 Paulie, the maddog, good Catholic, doesn't buy it.
 He knows he and all the Mafia hit-men are going to Heaven,
 so Christopher must be confused or mistaken about his vision.
 So Paulie, who speaks first, questions Christopher in his hospital bed
 about his face-to-face meeting with the Devil.

 I understand that not everybody will get this.
 But if you're Catholic and watch the Sopranos,
 this is better then Betty Bowers.
 ha ha

 Click Here

 Y'know, seems like it was just last year when Homicide said goodbye.
 Here it is this year, and I'm watching a show that may be better.

 There's never been anything like The Sopranos before.

 a shot of Chinaco to The Sopranos, which leads me to...

 Laura Palmer

 Friday was payday.
 I dropped by my friendly spirits store and found something new.

The Ultra-fine Chinaco Anejo - wrapped in plastic!
It confused me, too.
It was wrapped like the hash in Billy Hayes's knapsack.

Plus, it was on-sale!

Only $21.95 for this kind of quality?
When the agave plant has had a bad last-couple of years?

I've seen the tall bottle on the Internet, but never in a spirits store before, so I
figured it was the old bottle and the sexy, hand-blown bottle, was the new bottle,

adding $6 to the price, so I was surprised to see a whole row of  the tall boys.
Maybe they got a special on close-out luxury tequila, but who cares?
I should put 1,000 bottles on the Bart-VISA and hoard them!

God Bless America.

A shot of Chinaco to the Chinaco people!
You guys do really good work...

I think I'll poor myself a Tenoch jug cap and listen to that live Santana again.

...speaking of which...

Years ago, I'll never forget this, I posted a goofy baseball quiz.
"How to get 6 hits in one half-inning without scoring."

 I was my first experience with a flood of e-mail.
 I had no idea baseball was that big with the politicos.

 Lightning struck twice.
 Guitars are bigger than baseball.
 I've been advised to keep my day job and leave the
 guitar comments to the people who know what they're talking about.

 I could've sworn Carlos was playing a Gibson...

 Anyway, for my mea culpa, (that's Catholic for "I messed up")
 I've uploaded the entire live Smooth song from the Grammy's as an MP3.

 With a 56K modem, should take 4 minutes.
 If that's too long, stop whining!
 You can click on it and read something until the song downloads,
 or you can simply do without this fine piece of axemanship.

 The quality of the MP3 smokes the Real Audio, too.

 Rob put everything he had into this live version, and Carlos...
 Well, Carlos tore the place apart.
 Check that ending - whoa!

 Click Here

 ...and I was kidding about Fender guitars sucking donkey.

Fender is actually a pretty good guitar,
especially for women and kids,
because they don't notice the
hollow, tinny scre-e-e-ech it makes.

Settle down - it was a joke

 Ask BartCop

 From:  hal@wcta.net

 Could you run a list of sponsors for rush, dr whora, and other ass wipes
 so people who can't stand to listen can choose to not support said companies?

 Also, do you think Paul Harvey would sell his mom for $5?





March 31, 2000

Justice is So Rare

HBO Takes Six Peabodys
By John Dempsey

NEW YORK (Variety) - Two of TV's most highly lauded series, HBO's
``The Sopranos'' and NBC's ``The West Wing,'' have captured top prizes from
the 59th annual Peabody Awards, American broadcasting's top accolade.

``These choices prove that glossy, well-produced episodic drama still
has an important place in the industry,'' Barry Sherman, the director
of the 1999 George Foster Peabody Awards, said Thursday.

HBO ended up with bragging rights as it harvested six nods from the Peabodys.
They were for ``The Sopranos''; and five others

NBC pocketed only the award for ``The West Wing,'' but the Peabody committee
called it a ``magnificent episodic series that depicts the tension and backroom drama
of presidential politics with an unusual mixture of maturity and humanity.''

 Mrs. BartCop is about ready to leave me.
 You know why?

 Because I keep playing this live Grammy version of Santana's Smooth over and over.
 I'd like to play a little of it for you, now.
 It doesn't start the same way as the record, at least the single.
 It starts with some slow, lazy guitar.
 There's a certain sound that, in the old days at least,
 could only be made with a Gibson guitar and a Marshall amp.

 Maybe these days with computers and all everyone can do it,
 but this is the prettiest sound a guitar can make.

 Jimmy Page, (genuflect) and Frank Zappa each have/had this sound, too.
 There's nothing like it, and Fender guitars can kiss my ass.

 I'd like to have an entire CD of this kind of soothing music.
 Get my Chinaco, and a fatty and lay back in the La-Z-Boy and just cruise.

 Like to hear it?
 Here it go:

 Oh, I just have the beginning of it.
 I can't afford to play the whole song,

 I just tried it - it's a little choppy due to congestion.
 Try it tonight or over the weekend.
 Santana is the man.

 A shot of Chinaco for Carlos!


 I missed it, but Larry Klayman, the man with no penis, was on Crossfire last night.
 I hear Bill Press was ready to reach accross the table and smack him.

 That reminded me of something:

 I have videotape of Klayman taking a deposition from my main man Harold Ickes.

 Ickes said, "Let's take a break, I need to use the bathroom."

 Klayman said, "We're not finished yet."

 Ickes said, "Fine, I'll pee on your floor."

 ha ha

 Go Harold!

 Harold Ickes is in charge of Hillary's Senate campaign.
 Hillary's not going to lose anything.

 ...and she's not going to lose with panache!

Gore's Big Problem

Al Gore has a hueueueueueueuge problem,
 and he's got to find a way, somehow, to figure it out.

Somehow, he's got to figure out a way to claim credit for the peace
and the prosperity we're all enjoying, yet, somehow, he's got to figure
a way to separate himself from the kind of man Bill Clinton is.

This is a really big problem for Gore.
I don't know how he's going to get through this one...

  -- Tony Snow, one of the stupidest whores ever, just now


Geez, Einstein!
Can you be that stupid?
It took me about 3 seconds to figure out this "huge problem,"
and I have an IQ of 64 and a ton of learning disabilities.

How about....

They were partners in everything 'cept the blow jobs?


That was so hard to figure out, I got a headache doing it.
I hope Al Gore's as smart as me...

 Ask BartCop

 From:  adversary@godisdead.com

 Subject: Elian & Clinton

 I've been reluctant to get involved with the Elian fiasco, because it seems to be
 a contest of "Which country has the biggest ego" rather than what's better for the boy.

 But most of the politicians screaming that Elian should stay are Republicans.
 During impeachment, the Republicans were screaming about the "Rule of Law."
 As of right now, the law says that Elian should be returned to his father in Cuba.

 Where did the GOP's devotion to the "Rule of Law" go?
 Could it be that they never cared about the "Rule of Law",
 unless it could be used to get at Clinton?



 Yes - definitely.



 Former Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page has won an apology, legal fees and
 undisclosed monetary damages from "Ministry Magazine," the British publication
 that printed a story last fall alleging that Page did nothing to aid bandmate John Bonham
 when he abused alcohol and died in Page's 19th century mansion in 1980.

 Page's lawyer Norman Chapman told U.K. reporters that the magazine has apologized
 and accepted that the allegations were unfounded.

 You see?
 If I ever printed anything that wasn't true, people like that fascist Rush Limbaugh and
 spread-legged nasty Laura Schlessinger and horse-molesting Paul Harvey could sue me.

 But since it's all true - they can't!

 Does Bill Press read  bartcop.com?

  Click Here

 It's OK, Bill.
 You're on the right team.
 Take and use anything you want.

 No problemo, buddy.

 Political Amazon

 I think the intelligent people would enjoy http://www.politicalamazon.com
 It's a new site run by Celeste Harrison Whitlow.

 She's working on a Steve Kangas/CIA/President Bush/Scaife story.
 If you have any information about such things,
 I think she'd enjoy hearing from you.

 I recommend you visit and check it out.

 If you can't get there today, I'm adding the site to my links page
 so you can find it in the future.

 Ask BartCop

 From:  mkonieczki@rslusa.com

 Subject: Texas

 Do you think less-government Governor Bush will ask for
 federal funds for Ft Worth after the tornadoes?
 Does he want it labeled a disaster so he can get Big Brother money?






 It was pointed out to me, by an eagle-eyed reader, that American Politics Journal
 put Ol' BartCop's name on the cover of their premier issue!

 (see below)

 It's on the third line under "Dubya"

 Thanks to Dave and Mac and the gang at AMPOL.

by John Hockenberry

     In the last few weeks I have begun to think that this paranoid sense of
police believing they are under siege comes from the top. It has created an
atmosphere throughout the city that citizens are also under siege. Besides being
a dubious way to keep the peace, it’s political suicide. The mayor seems to be
shooting himself in the foot as badly as the NRA did over Bill Clinton, with the
consequence that he’s come up with a city-inspired job program for one unemployed
First Lady who until very recently was an unlikely would-be senator.

 (I'm amazed that some people still doubt the Clinton's political skills.
  Hillary had this race won before she even declared.)

     From his bunker the mayor suggests we should all thank the police.
Well, there’s at least one person in New York who should thank the mayor
and she’s not a cop. Maybe she should wait until she’s a senator to thank him.
He might go ballistic and shoot himself in his other foot.

    “Senator Clinton” — how does that sound? It makes you wonder about Giuliani.
Is he the New Yorkers’ best friend or worst nightmare? Thanks a lot, mayor.

Because of you it looks like we’re all going to have to listen to the Clinton’s
for six more years; and that’s enough to make me wish it was me and not
Amadou Diallo reaching for my wallet up in the Bronx a year ago.

 (If only we could be that lucky, you worthless shit.)


 I finally had a chance to catch the TV appearance of Gene Lyons
 and my good friend Joe Conason on Hardballs with Chris the Catholic.

 For some damn reason, after hearing the bullshit and the lies for two long years,
 the other, truthful side of the equation is only given 15 minutes on Hardballs.
 Best I can tell, the truth is boring and will not sell air-time.
 Lies, horseshit and scandal are so much more entertaining, aren't they Chris?

 As you'd expect, Matthews never let anyone else speak for a goddamn second.

 Each time Gene or Joe would start to speak, that shit Matthews would start
 waving his arms and screaming and cut them off, so the only person we ever
 got to hear speak was the idiot host who's there every damn night.
 The guests never had a chance to speak.
 Why even bother to have guests if they're not allowed to talk?

 One thing worth noting, tho...

 Maybe the Catholic saw Conason tear Hannity a new asshole, because Matthews
 wasn't spouting all those crazy Clinton lies like he does when he's alone or with
 Ann Coulter or the Finder of the Secret Sauce, Barbara Olson.
 He wasn't being that smirking, mouthy prick he usually is.

 Just having Conason on the show makes these info-Nazi's sing a new tune.

 ...and that's why the nasty Pigboy never has guests.

 From: Btw72@aol.com

 Subject: James Traficant

 J. Traficant (D-Ohio) was the guest on Nightline last night. Only 78
 organized crime convictions (many of them pols) in his hometown/district.
 There were 75 or so car-bombings in 12 years in his district. He was sheriff
 before being elected to the House. If nothing else, he should be sentenced
 to years of hard time for those haircuts.


 The Democratic Party needs to do some spring cleaning.
 We need to lose that NRA-fiend Traficant, we need to lose that Mayor in Miami,
 we are losing Patty Moynihan, thank Koresh, we should lose Robert Byrd,
 because the KKK has no place in the Democratic Party.

 We should replace Fritz Hollings, we should lose Russ Feingold because of
 his stab-in-the-back during impeachment - there's a LOT of cleaning to do.

 Diane Feinstein seems to have lost her mind on this flag-burning thing,
 and her partner Barbara Boxer has the loyalty of an alley cat,
 however she's one of the very few senators on my "to do" list.
 We're losing Bob Kerry, and that's not all bad. We don't need people on our team
 writing attack lines for the nasty Pigboy to repeat day after fucking day.

 Yep, we need to get rid of some dead weight.

 Did I miss anyone?

 All Elian, All the Time, 24/7

 Here's the plan:

 Anyone who thinks the world turns on that kid staying in America should
 pony up enough dough so when his daddy gets here, we give him a reason to stay.

 We start out being nice.

 We have a nude Heidi Klum present him with a new car.

(It doesn't matter what kind of car.
 Christ, he currently drives a Schwinn.)

He's from Cuba, probably doesn't see a lot of blondes, so we also have
Heather Locklear in a pink mini-bikini present him with a check for $500,000.


If that doesn't work, (after all he IS from Havana...) maybe he's a fame whore.
We'll send that cheap slut Diane Sawyer to Miami to show him her sweater puppies
in one of those see-thru tops she wears and offer him a Prime-Time interview.


If he still won't play ball, we'll have Cameron Diaz present him with
the deed to a $500,000 house in a decent Miami neighborhood.


If that doesn't work, we stop being Mr. Nice Guy

We get out the big guns.

We ask Betty Bowers to explain to him the error of his ways!
Now he's in trouble!
Go Betty!

If that doesn't work, we turn up the heat.

We tell him we're tired of dicking with him, and he agrees to stay
or we're going to kidnap him and make him live with this woman.


If that doesn't work, we have only one option left.

Paulie Walnuts explains to Mr. Gonzales that he agrees to
accept the gifts and stay or he takes a dirt nap next to Ted Bundy.

Problem solved.

March 30, 2000

 Begala Shoots the Bull

 The tragic case of Elian Gonzalez keeps getting more tense.
 Yesterday, Miami-Dade Mayor Alex Penelas said he would not allow local law
 enforcement to assist in carrying out a federal order to send Elian home to his father.
 Mayor Penelas is a rising star in the Democratic Party, but when a local official
 threatens to defy a federal order, he risks looking like George Wallace
 standing in the courthouse door. (Isn't that "schoolhouse door?")

 Meanwhile, Miami native Janet Reno had an emotional press conference today.
 You could see how this case is tearing her up. One of the hallmarks of her career
 has been her commitment to children, and she appealed to the consciences of
 everyone involved to keep in mind that this is about the well-being of a six year old boy.

 Everyone else seems to have forgotten that.

 For ABC News* it's about garnering ratings by interviewing the young child,
 asking him about how his mother was swallowed up by the ocean.
 For right-wingers it's about playing geopolitical games with a child's future.
 For RNC Chairman Jim Nicholson, it's clearly about politics. He gleefully tells the
 New York Times, "If Elian gets sent back, the Cuban community will remember which
 party wanted to hand a small child back to Fidel Castro across a barbed-wire fence."

 Easy to say, Jim, when no one's trying to take your kid away from you.

 *(Nasty, stinking whores!
  I'm upset with that dirty whore Diana Sawyer.
  How would she like it if someone took advantage of her?
  I know!

  I'm going to run a picture of that whore without any panties on.
  Like with that nasty Laura Schlessinger, I have to truncate the picture
  so her genitalia isn't hanging out all over the place, because that could permanantly
  harm the children who read  bartcop.com )

  Click Here to see the photo Diane Sawyer would pay millions to have back)


 (Update to "Judge Rules" below)

 Republican Mail

 From: bo8613a@american.edu wrote

 BartCop, you wrote,

> He opened his goddamn mail and showed the letter to someone.
> How can that be a crime?
> Was the crime "releasing the letter?"

 Problem is he released the letter(s) publicly, not just to one person.

 How is that a problem?
 If I write you a letter, and you show people at a party,
 your guilty of a misdemeanor?

 Also, from what I understand, the letter was retrieved as part of her
 federal files, and the act or law or whatever the judge was citing
 prohibits releasing anything from a persons federal records that can
 immediately by associated with them (like expressly states their name).

 You could be right, but how can it be in HER file?
 She wrote Bill a letter.
 Bill showed everyone the letter.
 I still see no crime.

 If Clinton wrote me a letter, don't you think
 I'd show it to people at a party?

 You can release stuff like that via a court order or people who need the
 record to perform their duties, stuff like that, but otherwise it's illegal.

 But the letter belongs to Clinton!!!
 It's his personal property!

 This isn't Willey's medical file that was stolen from her Doctor's office.
 It's a piece of paper saying,  "Bill Clinton, you're my hero!"

 Sounds to me like a Republican judge hated to see
 Clinton keep the job we elected him to.

American Politics Journal has their first print edition out.
I haven't actually read it yest, but I can tell it's going to be a big smash!
You know how I can tell?

They have an article written by Ol' BartCop!

If your local newsstand doesn't carry AMPOL, tell them they must!
You can click on Smirk's breasts, below to order from AMPOL directly

Would you like a hint as to what's in the BartCop article in AMPOL?

Click Here for the picture that accompanies the article.

 Press Release

 Marc Perkel Files to Run for US Senate as a Republican
 John Ashcroft of Missouri quaking like a bunny.

 Contact: Marc Perkel - 417-866-1222

 Marc Perkel, a political maverick from Springfield Missouri filed
 as a Republican to take on the incumbent Missouri Senator John Ashcroft
 for United States Senate. Marc Perkel is Senator Ashcroft's only opponent
 in the Republican primary. Two years ago, Marc Perkel ran for the
 House of Representatives in the 7th district of Missouri as a Democrat.

 More information, and there is a lot of information, can be found
 at the campaign web site at:


 Additionally, Marc Perkel started off his campaign by burning his
 long census form on the steps of the Missouri Supreme Court and in
 front of the Missouri Capital. Perkel calls Senator Ashcroft a Big
 Government Long Form Republican and challenges Senator Ashcroft to
 prove he's a conservative and burn his census form. Perkel's form
 burning is on the web at:


 Perkel claims to be a new breed of Republican and that none of his
 positions have changed since he ran as a Democrat, including his support
 for Al Gore for president. Perkel believes in fiscal responsibility
 and admits that Clinton and Gore are responsible for turning the economy
 around. Perkel agrees with Clinton that we should pay off the national
 debt first rather than squander the surplus with tax cuts for the rich.

 For the rest of the story, visit the web site.


 Tony Snow is reporting on the never-lies EIB Network that
 Bill Clinton personally ordered the assassination of Kathleen Willey's cat.

 Tony Snow and Fox News - they whore, you call them on it.

 Eyes on the Road!

 From:  drtobor@hiwaay.net

 I am a chauffer at (a very famous place everyone has heard of)
 and I have the sedan radio tuned to Pigboy, so of course all the
 ditto monkeys think I am one of them.

 When they mention how great Rush is, I tell them when they get
 back to their office to give  bartcop.com  a  look-see.
 Ha ha, I just love the thought of them thinking they are going
 to a Ditto Monkey page and getting the truth, instead.

 Dr. Tobor
 I am not a real Doctor, I just play one on the Internet.

 Visit Dr. Tobor at www.mediaupdatenet.com

It drives me crazy when the whore press won't do their jobs.
In the first hour of the first day of the first journalism class you ever took,
they explain you should explain the who, what, where, when how and why.

Judge Rules President Violated Kathleen Willey's Privacy

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A federal judge ruled that Clinton "committed a criminal
violation of the Privacy Act" by releasing letters that cast doubt on the reliability of a
woman who accused him of making a sexual advance in the White House.

It's a crime to release the contents of a letter?
What country is this?
Were we invaded?
Did we lose a war?
It's a crime to show the contents of a letter whitten to you?
Clinton didn't break into a mailbox on the corner.
He opened his goddamn mail and showed the letter to someone.
How can that be a crime?
Was the crime "releasing the letter?"
Or was the crime, "casting doubt" on the money-grubber's motives?

U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth ordered White House lawyers to answer
questions they previously refused in a lawsuit brought by the conservative legal
group Judicial Watch, which has filed numerous suits against the Clinton administration.

Oh, I understand - this is about Clinton' cock again.
Now it makes sense.

"This court finds that the plaintiffs have presented facts that establish a criminal
violation of the Privacy Act," Lamberth ruled.

Hey, whatever Larry Klayman says must be true, right your honor?

Such a violation is a misdemeanor.

Does that mean they're going to impeach again?

The judge, a Republican appointee,

Well, ...I guess that answers several questions, doesn't it?

...added that evidence in the case "established that the president had the requisite intent
for committing a criminal violation of the Privacy Act" when he authorized the release
of the letters in the midst of the 1998 investigation that led to his impeachment and acquittal.

It sure seems like the president had the requisite intent to defend himself against
a money-grubbing whore that was shopping her story to the tabloids for $300,000.

When the press whores do a story like this, why don't they include the answer to
the question, "What makes this illegal?"

It's like reading a story in the paper that says, "BartCop purchased a Coke from
a vending machine at 5th and Main and was promptly arrested."


Any chance you might tell the reader what the crime was?

Whores, whores, whores - this press is nothing but incompetent whores.

 More Monkey Business from the Appointed-for-Life Clowns

 This time, they decided that communities can bar nude dancing.
 By 6-3, these idiots upheld an Erie, PA law that made it a crime to
 perform nude in public places,, taverns, restaurants, clubs and theaters.

 Does this mean they'll arrest Nicole Kidman if "Eyes Wide Shut" comes to town?

 Whatever happened to "less government?"
 These bastards don't want "less government."
 They want more and more and more government.

 Why did Reagan/Butch appoint more-government judges?

 Oh, Koresh, I wish there was one conservative on the goddamn internet
 who would agree to debate me when shit like this happens.

 Get this - Scalia and Clarence "Slappy" Thomas, who have NEVER disagreed
 on anything since Slappy got his quota-appointment from Smirk's triatorous dad,
 voted to uphold the nude dancing ban, but used different reasoning, arguing that the
 "traditional power of government to uphold good morals" justified the action.

 Is Paul Harvey here?
 I smell horseshit!

 So, according to Scalia and Slappy, the government can ban Playboy, too?
 What about Rolling Stone? It sometimes uses the "F" word, so shouldn't the
 out-of-control government "uphold good morals" and shut Rolling Stone down?

 This is hosreshit!


 I used the "S" word, so to "uphold good morals," I should be in jail?

 to positions that cannot ever be taken away from them.

 Koresh, it's scary to think we live under the opinions of these walking handjobs.

 Just a reminder...

 Robert Ray, new head witch-hunter, said on This Whore with Sam & Cokie
 that the FBI files that were sent to the White House were almost immediately
 discovered to be an error, and they were immediately put in the vault in the
 White House and weren't looked at again until they were returned.

 Don't ask me how he knew all that, but he said they were able to find out
 exactly what path those files took, who saw them, where they were etc.

 ...and that's why Larry Klayman wants Ray investigated, because he,
 like Kenneth Starr before him,
 like Robert Fiske before him,
can't find anything illegal to pin on the most investigated man in history.

 Off  Topic, but you may enjoy this, sent by Eddy Collins

 Click Here for Sherlock goes Camping

Thank God for Elian

Oh, this is fantastic.
The stupid, greedy whores have something with which to masturbate.

ABC News is promoting this as a "Waco-style" stand off.
They reported, "Some Republican leaders are saying they will hold
Bill Clinton responsible for any violence."

That seems fair.
If 15,000 crazed Cuban-Americans riot and burn Miami,
it's obviously Clinton's fault because.....uhmmmm

...well it MUST be Clinton's fault!

ha ha

Let's have hearings!
No, wait, we'd better not.
Dan Burton is liable to shoot a Cuban in his backyard.

I guarantee, if you ask Bill Clinton today how many states there are,
he's going to say, "Forty Nine, of course."
You ask Clinton where Gloria Estafan lives, and he'll say, "Atlanta."

Clinton, from the very first day, has stayed the hell out of this.
The last time he made a decision about where to put a Cuban he was impeached!
(From Jerry Merritt)

I've got an answer for everything, but not this.
If it was my call,
I'd say to wait them out, even if it takes years, which it will.
It's not even safe for that kid's daddy to come to Miami now.
Those nutty Cubans are employing an almost religious insanity
when it comes to dealing with this poor kid.

What can they do?
Shut off the water?
Shut off the electricity?

The stupid ditto-monkey GOP wankers expect Clinton will botch this.
But, as always, they don't have any answers, just criticism.

One thing Clinton could do is ask the federal judges to stay out of this
until some solution can be worked out. We don't need some idiot judge
ordering the cops to take Elian into custody, because Fox News and
the GOP will hold Clinton responsible for everything if it goes bad.

Where is backdoor Bettina Gregory?
To a nasty whore, this story is better than Disneyland.

Gag Me

The E! channel says that horrid Joan Rivers pre-Oscar handjob
was the highest-rated show they've ever had on their network.
Don't it figure?

Joan Rivers, picking her nose with an Oscar, got their highest rating ever.

If it wasn't so early, I'd need a drink...

The Hunting of the President

This book, by my good friend Joe Conason, is at #31 on Amazon.
Good for him.

It's a really good book, that dumps the two years of lies and bullshit
and press whoredom and reveals the truth behind the scams.

If you don't have it, it can be found at Amazon.com
Just put "Conason" in the search box.

Cunningham Strikes Twice!


ha ha

Could Smirk handle a fast food job?

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