Vol 214 - It's Giuliani Time

 June 16, 2000

 Holy Cattle Futures, Batman!
  How guilty is Rick the Lick?

 Click Here

From:  bear1@bigisland.com

Subject: Clintons Blamed in New York Sex Attacks

Hey Bartcop, I found this on the freeper board...
Trying to think of all the smear to Gop intends to use...
not in my wildest dreams would I think they'd try this!

Source: NewsMax.com    (whores, whores, whores)

President Clinton's "poor example to youth" is to blame for the sex
attack melee that followed Sunday's Puerto Rican Day parade in New York
City, say 42 percent of those responding Thursday to an ongoing survey
conducted on the Web site of WABC-NY Talk Radio.

Individual accounts of the rampant sexual violence committed in broad
daylight, supplemented by videotape shot by onlookers, have rocked the
city for three days and have New Yorkers worried that the bad old days
of out-of-control street crime are on their way back.

New York City police, who have been roundly criticized in the press for
failing to stop a mob of youths as they groped, stripped and fondled 28
women, were blamed by only 2 percent of those responding. Mayor
Giuliani, who has also come in for a torrent of media criticism for his
initially tepid reaction to the sex assaults, was blamed by just 1 percent.

Not surprisingly, 55 percent of those who participated in the self-selecting
survey blamed the perpetrators themselves for the attacks.

But the poll's real shocker is that nearly half of respondents blame Clinton,
illustrating the extent to which the president's image as America's most
prominent sexual predator has permeated the national consciousness.

(ha ha- These guys make Fox Whore News look honest!)

Six different women, including Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Cristy
Zercher and Juanita Broaddrick, have accused Clinton of everything from
indecent exposure to unwanted groping to violent rape. Journalists
have largely dismissed their accounts.

Meanwhile, the New York press has flocked to one post-parade sex assault
victim who decided to go public with charges that police ignored her
complaint. Anne Peyton-Bryant has told reporters that the treatment she
got from the NYPD was in some ways worse than the sexual assault itself,
where she says she was roughed up, partially stripped and groped, but
was not sexually violated.

A French couple who were also accosted by the crowd, which held the
husband back as his wife was stripped naked and digitally penetrated,
have said they were satisfied with the NYPD's response. But the media
have all but ignored their account, while Peyton-Bryant has now received
more national television exposure than all the Clinton sex assault
victims put together.

(ha ha - Re-read that last sentence.
 Have we spent two years of 24/7 on the New York attacks?)

First lady Hillary Clinton, who has criticized the NYPD for being too
quick to react in the past, also came in for her share of blame for the
Puerto Rican Day sex assaults in a Thursday Wall Street Journal editorial:

"It wasn't too very long ago that Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's New York
Police Department had become local liberalism's strongest weapon on
behalf of Hillary Rodham Clinton's candidacy for the Senate. New Yorkers
watching the rampage videotapes on TV the past few days have all gotten
a look at what the price will be of discrediting the NYPD to put Mrs.
Clinton in the Senate. ...

"Would-be Senator Clinton spoke out with her reaction to these problems.
In a speech yesterday, she called for the reauthorization of the federal
Violence Against Women Act. 'We need to reauthorize this act, to provide
the better training and resources and sensitivity to police, judges and
public officials that will enable them to respond quickly and understand
that this is not some kind of prank.' Get Real."

To vote and check updated results in the New York Sex Attack Survey,
visit WABCRadio.com.

Steve 'Bear' Houston


Chi-coms thru copying them,
Clinton guilty as predicted by Fox News!

Subject: Judge Appointment Tool


From:   DENNISC@iadb.org

Hey, that tool you posted that allows you to lookup all the details about
Federal Judge appointments is great.  I was able to find out the following:

Women appointed as Federal Judges:
The Greatest President of Our Lifetime: 95
All the Republican Pricks since 1776: 67
Advantage Clinton (3 to 2)

African-Americans appointed as Federal Judges:
The Author of the Longest Economic Expansion in History: 57
Party that has presided over Every Depression in this Nations History: 25
Advantage Clinton (2 to 1)

African-American Women appointed as Federal Judges:
The Man Who put 100,000 new Police on the Streets: 12
Presidents of the Party voting against the Brady Bill: 3
Advantage Clinton (4 to 1)

Dennis Courtney

 It's getting to look a lot like a Chinaco weekend!

 I saw Goodfellas the other night.
 Remember the scene where Paul Sorvino was in prison, and even in
 prison they were eating like kings? Sorvino explained to his cellmates
 that the trick to perfect Italian cooking was to get a razor blade
 (no problem getting hold of those in prison) and shave the garlic so thin
 that it melted away in the sauce, leaving no trace but the taste.

 After watching that, I knew what the weekend plan was:
 I'm going to get me a bottle of God's tequila and I'm going to
 slice it so thin, there'll be nothing left but the taste.
 I'm going to sip teeny-tiny shots, maybe 10 shots to an ounce.
 My plan is to have the taste of super-fine ultra-luxury tequila
 in my mouth allll weekend, without actually drinking a lot.

 Click  Here

 It's been a while since I've tasted the taste.
 I deserve this.

 Maybe I'll get into some of that back mail, too.

 I hope you've digested your lunch before you read this:

 Click  Here

If I read this correctly, Sean Hannity thinks that women who wereattacked
in Central Park need to "stop whining" about it. After all, when a woman
has her clothes torn off by up to 60 men, while the cops sit on their asses,
she should "stop whining."  I'm sure laura the Unloved would tell those
women to "take it like a man."

But, on the other hand,

...if your sink is stopped up from too much bacon grease,
and your landlord is running for president,
you can't possibly whine e-fucking-nough!

This female-of-her-species is getting her own show on Fox Whore News,
right after the Juanita Brodderick Comedy Hour, but those almost-raped
women in New York should stop whining because Sean Hannity says so?

Just more of that "compassionate conservativism" I guess.

Ediotr's Note: I was half-way kidding when I wrote that,
but I just checked the survey results and 55 percent say
the almost-raped women should "just stop whining."

...and Zogby says Smirk is winning the female vote?


 Rush just said gas would be cheaper if the government
 would relax their strict controls on pollutants in gasoline.

 So, Houston currently looks like this...


...but if we do what Pigboy and Smirk want to do, Houston might look like this:

Vote Smirk 2000!

 Save Me

 From: ajcortez@mindspring.com

 I am going to win you over on this.

 BC, if you look back at what you write.
 The vitriol, the flame, and even the hate.
 It's obvious that you were hurt by your experiences with Catholics.
 That's a shame.

 Can I confess something?
 I'm a poor writer.
 I've never meant to convey hurt or anger about Catholics.
 Resentment, maybe, because they held me against my will for 12 years,
 but I've always thought they were a funny bunch, and I always had the
 brains to stay one step ahead of them.

 I was never reared by a priest.
 I never had to eat a bar of soap for using bad words.
 I'll bet I only had detention twice in 12 years - not that I was an angel,
 I just have always been Clintonesque at slipping from their grasp.
 Take away that one time when I had to kneel on concrete holding
 a giant geography book outstretched in each hand, and they never
 caught me doing anything. I played Col. Hogan to their Stalag 13.

Those days are gone, really. No one is forced to be Catholic (anymore).
ha ha
What about the kids with Catholic parents?

If going to church gives you comfort, that is great.
If it is painful and confusing, then stay away.
Just don't attack those who attend.

Pain and confusion?
Koresh, I'm a more-worse writer than I even-ever thought.

If  it's the politics you dislike, then nail them for that.
Putting it in a religious frame hurts your case.
How can you attack others for being bigoted when you've got
your own prejudice looming like a thundercloud over your head?

Webster defines prejudice as "an adverse opinion or leaning
formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge."
How many more years would I need to be held captive by them before
I had "sufficient knowledge" to laugh at their institutional insanity?

Understand, we really are on the same team.
If your bias hurts the ongoing effort to enlighten the masses,
then it behooves the rest of us to point that out.

OK, but a good laugh is all I'm really after.

Keep the fires burning.



If Dr. Whora says it's okay to discriminate against gays because her Bible
tells her that we should (and she does), then is it ok for me to discrimate
against her because my Bible tells me she killed Jesus?
As such, I should be able to kick her butt, right?


ha ha

Now you're back on my good side :)
Laura the Unloved - Christ-killer!

 From: skinkboy@texas.net

 Hey Bartcop,

 From my experience ( my mother was a catholic by proxy of the
 church of england,  whatever that means) there are 3 kinds of catholics:
 "devout" : They relish in inflicting the guilt and fear and paranoia on the
 "practicing": who , by definition , are practicing to be "devout" so they
 don't have to feel so bad about their sins and drool for the day they
 can displace the same on lower "practicing" catholics.

 The final category (mine) is "recovering": they liked the smell of the
 incense stenchers and the latin, but rejected all the other bullshit and
 moved on to whatever suited their needs in the real world.
 Hope this clears things up


 The Reptile House

 Great Nazi Quotes
 (translated from the original German by  bartcop.com )

“Liberal cop-bashing by folks like Hillary Rodham Clinton is in part
 responsible for the new diminishment of the morale of police.”
  -- Pat Buchanan, explaining why Rudy's cops just sat there after being
      told repeatedly that gangs were wilding on young women in Central Park.

 Attention Gov. Blow Monkey!


 Texas boy shot for using sign language

  FORT WORTH, Texas (Reuters) - A boy using sign language while
  walking down a street with his deaf cousin was shot and wounded in
  Fort Worth by suspected gang members who may have thought his
  hand motions were rival gang signals, police said Tuesday.

  Henry Handy III, 16, was in fair condition at John Peter Smith Hospital
  in Fort Worth after being shot once in the chest Saturday night. The
  case was made public Tuesday.

  Police said Handy was walking down the street practicing sign language
  with his 15-year-old cousin when a car passed and a backseat
  passenger fired at the boy.

  The gunman, who got out of the car and threatened to kill the deaf
  youth, was dressed in the colors of a local gang.

  The hearing-impaired cousin told police he believed the gunman had
  mistaken their conversation for gang signals.

  "We've never heard of anything like this. Right now our gang unit is
  investigating, but we have no named suspects," police spokesman Lt
  David Burgess said.

  Smirk is right!
  The answer to everything is "More Guns!"

  More guns in churches,
  more guns in stadiums,
  more guns everywhere!

 Fastest Finger

 Todays Faster Finger goes to the vulgar Pigboy.
 He says it's going to take "an incredible amount of money" to rebuild
 the military since Clinton let it run down to where it was "almost nothing."

 So, according to Rush, we can't afford Smirk's risky tax cut scheme.

Wish I'd Written This

From: (withheld)

A week ago, CBS claimed Iranian terrorists blew up Pan Am Flight #103
over Scotland in retaliation for our downing of the Iranian airbus in 1988.
Now that it appears that CBS got it wrong,

I was struck by the difference in the way political partisans handle these stories.

What we were possibly looking at, according to CBS, was a situation in
which our military made a grave error and that error led to a retaliation that
cost American lives.  That would be huge news, except it happened on
Reagan's--not Clinton's--watch.

Let's use our imaginations, BartCop, and speculate what Clinton-hating
journalists and ditto-monkeys would have done  if that airbus was shot down
while Bill Clinton was president:

* Because his story would help ditto-monkeys, the "defector" would be believed.
Any attempt to verify or disprove his claim would be denounced as a "personal attack."

* Ditto-monkeys would be screaming about our poorly trained military that couldn't tell
the difference between a fighter jet and a 747.  Fox News hosts could say,
"The accident occurred because our sailors were worrying about whether their food
stamps would be on time."

* Rush would opine that flying on commercial planes is now very dangerous because
of all the countries that hate us because Clinton kills their citizens.

(Ediotr's Note: Rush HAS made this claim. He said it was Clinton's fault that Libya
 was after us, even tho it was Reagan who ordered the bombing of Ghadaffy's home,
 which killed Ghadaffy's young daughter.)

* Ditto-monkeys could embrace the story and then say, "What about Chinagate?
  What about filegate?  What about PanAmgate?"

* The "chain-of-command" link would be quickly established; ditto-monkeys would
say that Clinton, as commander-in-chief, is to be held responsible, and that a decent
man, such as Reagan, would have resigned in disgrace.

* Dan Burton would subpoena tons of records, and force White House officials testify
about whether or not they were really saddened by the bombing.

* Larry Klayman would sue the U.S. government for 300 jillion gazillion dollars and
demand that Clinton spend six hours a day in deposition from now until his 65th birthday.

* Paul Harvey could say that Clinton murdered 270 people to try to
distract us from Monica the Harmonica.

* Rush could say, "I'm not saying this is how it happened, but what if
Paula Jones was supposed to on that plane?"

I could go on, couldn't I?  But since Reagan was president when this mistake
occurred, there is no story, because:

*  Our side doesn't embrace any story that might serve our ends until
it can be reasonably proved.

*  Our side realizes that mistakes occur, and doesn't use every mistake
as a club to pound a president we don't like.

*  Our side doesn't find sinister evil in every accident that occurs.

If the Iranian airbus downing had occured on Clinton's watch, could Matthews
or Hannity or Rush or O'Reilly or Harvey or North or any of the others have
let this story sit untouched for a week while CBS finished their homework?

I doubt it.

But the fact that none of those people were interested in this story
because they couldn't pin it on Clinton should tell you a lot.

Ediotr's Note:
How goddamn stupid is Leslie Stahl?
How goddamn stupid is CBS?
How hueueueueueueuge is their zeal to fuck Clinton?

The idiot Iranian who made these stupid claims is 32 fucking years old.
He said he directed the Pan Am attack, which would've made him
14 years old when he was running Iran's top terrorist organization.

Besides, Ollie North knows all these people personally.
Ollie North personally delivered planeloads of Stingers to these terrorists.
CBS could've saved the time and embarrassment and just asked Ollie.

Semper Fi, right Ollie?

 Hard to Explain Quotes

 Like many lonely children of privilege, Al Gore has led an elaborate fantasy
 life. Among other things, he has claimed credit for launching the Internet
 and for inspiring the romantic novel Love Story. He has no idea how silly he
 sounds when he makes such claims.
   -- Joe Sobran, by way of Santainthemonrning

 Joe has a point, but why doesn't he pick on Smirk?

 Did you know Smirk has been telling people his father was once the president?

 ha ha

 Can you believe he tells such whoppers?.
 I heard one report that, while drinking heavily at a party,
 Smirk told a woman he once owned a baseball team!!!

 ha ha

 I'll be he got some from that gullible lady!
 That Smirk is a real kidder, isn't he?
 Can you imagine the gall?
 Can a delusional man be elected president?

 Another report: Bush told a reporter in Midland he personally knew
 Colin Powell and even claims to have shaken the hand of Ronald Reagan?
 He even told Nolan Ryan that his brother was Governor of Florida!!!!!
 Is Nolan Ryan that stupid?

 It seems to me if Sobran's going to call Gore on his wild claims,
 he should call Bush on his, too.

 I mean, just because Gore wrote the legislation that created the Internet,
 the 1989 National High-Performance Computer Technology Act, that
 certainly doesn't give him the right to say he wrote the legislation that
 created the Internet. After all, we don't need another Clinton, do we?

 And just because Love Story author Erich Segal says yes, Gore WAS a
 model for the male lead character in the Love Story novel is no reason for
 Gore to claim he was a model for the male lead character in Love Story.

 I, for one, am sick to death of Gore's big lies, aren't you?

 ...and thanks to Santainthemorning for the softball.

(To the Bushart people: Please send me your URL
  so I can give you credit for youe fine work)

 Here's some excerpts from Mother Jones

The Diddly Awards:
Honoring Our Do-Nothing Congress

The Billy Carter Award for Most Amusing Political Relative

Randall Todd Cunningham: The son of Duke "Death Penalty for Drug Kingpins"
Cunningham (R-Insane) was convicted for possession of 400 pounds of marijuana.
In court, the congressman cried and pleaded for mercy, explaining that his son
"has a good heart. He works hard. He's expressed to me he wants to go back
to school." While out on bail, the hardworking son tested positive for cocaine use
three times; when an officer tried to apprehend him following the third positive test,
Randy hurled himself out a window and broke his leg. Still, the congressman -- who
has denounced Clinton's "soft-on-crime liberal judges" and railed against "reduced
mandatory-minimum sentences for drug trafficking" -- won for his son the mercy
denied others. He got 30 months -- half the federal "mandatory" minimum sentence.

Claude Shelby: The son of Richard "Death Penalty for Drug Kingpins" Shelby
(R-Caveman.) was arrested in Atlanta for possession of 13.8 grams of hash.
He was fined a $570 "administrative penalty."

Jean Bono: Sonny Bono's mom wrote an angry letter to the local paper when
her daughter-in-law Mary Bono campaigned (against Pa from "The Waltons")
for Sonny's vacated seat. Mom insisted that Sonny would never have endorsed
Mary -- he'd want her at home raising their children.

Mary Bono (R-Calif.): Following her election, the 38-year-old former blond
did in fact leave her seven- and nine-year-olds in Palm Springs with a nanny,
saying, "My effectiveness as a human being will be a lot greater as a member
of Congress than carpooling." She's done little else to glorify her departed's
political legacy: Last November, she freaked out constituents by telling TV Guide
that Sonny died because he was a drug addict whose affection for painkillers
more than likely clouded his vision the day he went skiing.

And the winner is: Mary Bono. In between votes, the merry widow has been
spotted in the Rayburn Room, just off the House floor, making out like a whore
with her new "hot rod" drummer Brian Prout of the band Diamond Rio.

The Rank Hypocrisy Award

Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wis.): The campaign finance reformer was fined
$9,000 by the Federal Elections Commission for campaign finance violations.
Remember: He voted AGAINST Clinton during impeachment.
Feingold should change his registration to Republican.

Senator Trent Lott (R-Miss.): Lott claimed last spring to be unaware of the
agenda of the Council of Conservative Citizens (which, in the council's own words,
is the preservation of "the white genotype"). The CCC's members understandably
thought of Lott as one of their own: His dues were regularly paid; their leadership
had been entertained in Lott's Capitol office; a column by the senator had been
published in their newsletter; and the CCC happily distributed a photograph of Lott
speaking before its members. As for knowing their "agenda," even the dimmest
Mississippian would get the pun: CCC, KKK.

And the winner is: Trent Lott. Only a few months before, Lott had joined other
senators in a vote to condemn Nation of Islam spokesman Khallid Muhammad for
calling the pope a "cracker." Lott said that it didn't "seem hypocritical to me" to later
block an effort to condemn the CCC for proclaiming that America is becoming
a "slimy brown mass of glop."

The Award for Best Election Story

Rick Hill (R-Mont.): Hill trashed his childless opponent Nancy Keenan for not
being as family-values oriented as himself, a father. Keenan had been forced to
undergo a hysterectomy in 1983. He won.

Helen Chenoweth-Hage (R-Idaho): The right- winger, whose concern for
biodiversity is best summed up by her claim that "white Anglo-Saxon males
are an endangered species," was supported by an unlikely coalition of Idaho
greens in her reelection campaign against an environmentally shaky Democrat.


In the words of Ron Mitchell of the Idaho Sporting Congress, "Chenoweth poses
no danger because she is incompetent and has no credibility with her peers in Congress."
Chenoweth-Hage, who prefers being called a "congressman," won.

The Letitia Baldridge Award for Etiquette

Duke Cunningham: Discussing his prostate cancer operation at a public event,
Cunningham called it "just not natural, unless maybe you're Barney Frank."
Frank countered that Cunningham "may have suffered a little slight brain damage"
during the anal surgery. Cunningham later apologized with the excuse:
"I just get upset when people start bashing our military."

Merrill Cook (R-Utah): A millionaire owner of a dynamite company, Cook was
enraged that a party ad had neglected to mention him and exploded at the state's
GOP leadership: "Fuck the Republican Party!"

The You-Can't-Make-This-Shit-Up Award

Trent Lott: Only about a month after the impeachment vote, Lott was
presented with a souvenir from the president's visit to Central America
-- a huge cigar with a card reading, "Compliments of Bill Clinton."

Newt Gingrich: At an Eskimo blanket toss in Barrow, Alaska, when Gingrich
insisted on having a turn, 15 Native Americans heaved-ho to try to hurl the
enormous Gingrich off the blanket. An unidentified bystander observed,
"He never really caught major air."

Senator George Voinovich (R-Ohio): The senator does not deny
being observed plucking a penny from a urinal.

The There-Is-a-God Award

Senator James Inhofe (R-Pissquik): After having put a hold on ambassadorial
nominee James Hormel because Hormel is gay, Inhofe had to explain how his staffers
crashed his office computers by downloading porn. Inhofe, who had pilloried Hormel's
private life, refused to comment upon his Hot Nude Babe-loving staffers out of
"deference to legitimate privacy concerns."

J.C. Watts Sr.: The father of Uncle O. J. Watts (R- Negro) said: "A black man voting
for the Republicans makes about as much sense as a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders."

Senator Tim Hutchinson (R-Ark.): Just after voting Clinton guilty, the family-values minister
left his wife of 28 years. The BJU alum has not denied screwing an office aide.

The Award for Most Appalling Food Reference

James Pissquik Inhofe: After visiting the Balkan refugees in Kosovo, the senator noted
that "they have the food that they need to eat" and that although "some 3,000 of them have
lost their lives, I was shocked to find out...that they are very well off."
Yep, that's the level of representation Oklahoma sends to Washington.

Visit Mother Jones  for the complete award list.

 Oil Companies continue to steal and pillage.

 Click  Here

 Who's more qualified to bring prices down?
 Bought-and-paid for Smirk?

 Paula Jones's  brother has a web page up that's worth a look.

 Click  Here

From: Vernon Steele,
a native of Mars currently residing in Pascagoula.

 Let's see now, Hillary is in a statistical dead heat with a political unknown
 in her race for the Senate, and Al Gore is running behind in his bid for the
 presidency. Not a good day for the Democrats!

 But all is not lost yet. There's still one ace in the hole for the Dems and it's
 time to use it. I predict (and I always have predicted this) that Al, in order to
 shore himself up in the polls, will name Hillary as his pick for vice president!

 Hillary, of course, will gladly accept since it will allow her to graciously
 drop out of the race in New York, thereby avoiding an almost sure defeat.
 It's the only strategy left that might just save them both.

 For the Democrats, this will be the ultimate dream ticket. Al and
 Hillary are the perfect combo to follow in Bill Clinton's footsteps. After
 all, with Hillary in the White House (even as vice president) it'll be like
 having Bill all over again. Not only that, but, in just eight years (sooner
 if something should happen to Al, God forbid), Hillary will be a shoo-in
 for becoming our first woman president.

 As for the Republicans, well, it will be the opportunity of a lifetime.
 If they'll just get out and vote, instead of sitting home watching "Millionaire"
 and complaining about how all politicians are alike, they'll be able to get rid
 of two birds with one vote and finally bring the curtain down on the Clinton era.

 Tell me, how much better can this race get?

 If Gore chose Hillary to run with, think of the money we could save
 on Secret Cervix protection. The McVeigh Republicans would never
 take a shot at Al if Hillary was next in line.

Sure, it looks like he's just enjoying a fruity drink at a coffee shop near
his home in New York, but actually he's putting together a framework
to solidify the reunion of North and South Korea.

Unlike Reagan and Butch, Clinton has been a full-time president.
Even more than full time, if you count the thousands of hours he's
had to spend trying to keep Republican hands away from his cock.

 Smirk Creates Breathing Hazard for Oklahoma
  From The Daily Oklahoman, owned by the evil Gaylord Family

 FORT WORTH, Texas -- Here's one more reason to call out the troops at
 the Red River: nasty Texas air. Seems all that goop from the Dallas-Fort Worth
 area's jammed highways and pollution-spewing plants is floating north,
 creating a hazard for Oklahomans.

 Oklahoma environmental regulators have suspected this dirty little secret for a
 while, but now they have proof. Ozone monitors along the border have traced
 ozone pollution moving north from Texas going as far as Oklahoma City and
 perhaps Knuckledrag.

 "Oklahoma's getting choked by the Texas Smog Express," said Neil Carman,
 director of the Texas Sierra Club. Typically, the "smog express" begins in
 Houston --  the country's smoggiest city -- and travels north. It picks up
 particles from an old Alcoa aluminum plant in Rockdale, which emits 12 tons of
 pollutants per goddamn hour, and from the smelters and refineries in East Texas.

 In a day or so, it arrives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, where it mingles
 with the Metroplex's cocktail of vehicle pollution and industrial waste.
 By the next day, the "smog express" crosses the Red River into Oklahoma.

 Texas leads the nation in toxic air pollutants and is trying to fend off sanctions
 from the EPA, which is demanding a plan to clean up its act by 2007.
 Oklahoma has enjoyed a clean record with the EPA -- until recently.

 Meanwhile, the situation has become political, causing Texas Gov. Smirk
 to be lambasted in his presidential campaign for being too lenient with
 pollution-producing industries.

 But Texas shouldn't get all the blame.  Much of the ozone pollution blows
 into Texas, usually from the east, said Bryan Lambeth, a Smirk-appointed
 meteorologist  for the Texas Resource Conservation Commission.

 (Ediotr's Note: Smirk claims the Texas wind blows from East to West)

 June 15, 2000


 From: ajcortez@mindspring.com

 Subject: Re: Whoa Nelly

 Rank and file Catholics are mostly Democrats.
 What do you think the Lincoln Catholics in Planned Parenthood did?
 What most Catholics do when the Church interferes in their secular lives.
 We say, "uh-huh." and go on our merry ways.
 The edicts from on high are usually afforded courtesy lip service and no more.
 If Catholics can separate religion from politics, why can't you?


 Koresh, that's an ugly picture.
 Most Catholics have the same respect for their religion that I do?
 "Edicts from on high" are ignored?
 Who are the rules for?

 Why bother to pretend?
 Why bother to go to church?
 To show off your new suit or your new dress?
 To make Mom happy?

 I remember an argument a month or two ago where some guy
 said he doesn't really believe the Creed he recites during the Mass.
 To me, that meant he wasn't Catholic.
 So why bother with the charade?

 Is this why so many priests are having sex?
 Because the rules don't count?

 You may have just done the impossible - caused me to think less
 of the goofy system that held me captive for years.

 By the way, your last sentence was a hoot!
 Nobody in America wants politics and religion separated more than me.

 ...Speaking of Crazed Catholics

 Earlier this week, Pigboy was screaming at the Democrats and
 calling them all kinds of bad names because waaaaaay back in 1992,
 they didn't invite Pennsylvania's Gov. Casey to speak at the convention
 about how awful it was to be pro-choice on abortion.

 First, since there were 30 Democratic governors then, and 250 House
 Democrats and another 50 or so Democratic senators, it just wasn't
 possible to give everyone a shot at the podium.

 Second, that idiot bishop in Scranton thought he'd be real cute and
 dis-invite the next president just to get attention, apparently.
 Because President Gore is pro-choice, he's not allowed to speak?
 What did that idiot bishop gain by his tantrum?
 Did he save any lives by being rude?
 Tossing your manners in the street saves lives?

 And when will Pigboy scream at the bishop?
 When will Pigboy call the bishop names for stifling ideas?

 Third, has that idiot bishop scolded Governor Ridge?
 Ridge is a Catholic baby-killer, but he gets a pass?

 Sounds to me like that bishop would rather make the news and impress
 "Talent on loan from God" Rush than keep his dignity and be a holy man.
 Is there a difference between that bishop and Rush?
 I think that idiot bishop is a monkey-spank.

 Begala Shoots the Bull

 Perhaps the Gore Campaign slogan should be,
 "It's Still the Economy...And Bush is Stupid!"

 I am endlessly amused at the right-wingers who are trying to blame the federal
 government for the current spike in gas prices. If you think gas taxes are
 too high, talk to the GOP governors, since states tax gasoline more heavily
 than Washington does. And if you don' like the federal gas tax, complain to
 the GOP Congress, which refuses (wisely) to repeal it. No, taxes have not
 driven up the price of gas; they've been fairly stable for years. Nor are
 environmental controls the culprit. They, too, have been in the pipeline
 (pardon the pun) for a long time, and markets have already discounted for
 them. So why are prices skyrocketing? Seems to me fingers should be pointed
 in two directions: OPEC and Big Oil. The OPEC cartel did restrict production
 earlier this year, sending prices up. And you can always count on Big Oil to
 gouge us in every way they can.

 As a political issue, Americans should ask:
 Who do we trust to stand up to OPEC and Big Oil?
 George W. Bush, the Texas oilman?

 Can a man who got bailed out by big money oilmen, stand up to Big Oil?
 Can a man who won a lucrative concession to drill for oil in the oil-rich
 Middle-Eastern sheikdom of Bahrain be trusted to stand up to OPEC?

 Bush is a wholly owned subsidiary of Big Oil and OPEC.


 From: ajcortez@mindspring.com

 Subject: Re: Whoa Nelly

 Rank and file Catholics are mostly Democrats.
 What do you think the Lincoln Catholics in Planned Parenthood did?
 What most Catholics do when the Church interferes in their secular lives.
 We say, "uh-huh." and go on our merry ways.
 The edicts from on high are usually afforded courtesy lip service and no more.
 If Catholics can separate religion from politics, why can't you?


 Koresh, that's an ugly picture.
 Most Catholics have the same respect for their religion that I do?
 "Edicts from on high" are ignored?
 Who are the rules for?

 Why bother to pretend?
 Why bother to go to church?
 To show off your new suit or your new dress?
 To make Mom happy?

 I remember an argument a month or two ago where some guy
 said he doesn't really believe the Creed he recites during the Mass.
 To me, that meant he wasn't Catholic.
 So why bother with the charade?

 Is this why so many priests are having sex?
 Because the rules don't count?

 You may have just done the impossible - caused me to think less
 of the goofy system that held me captive for years.

 By the way, your last sentence was a hoot!
 Nobody in America wants politics and religion separated more than me.

 Great Presidential Quotes

 "I genuinely believe that the creation of this nationwide network will create
  an environment where workstations are common in homes and small businesses.
   --  Al Gore, explaining HIS 1989 National High-Performance Computer
        Technology Act which created the Internet.

Thank you for creating that, President Gore.
Thanks to your vision, we're all online.

Brain Smasher Polishes His Orb

I know what you are thinking.
NOT that orb, that's another story.
My psychic Orb, silly. One that you shake up, not stirred, ask it questions,
and it may or may not give you an answer. The Orb is very smart and all-knowing.
In the seventies it was the 8-ball. I think bartcop has an 8-ball. Of course the
Legend is stuck in the seventies. None of us here at  bartcop.com  have ever
seen the inside of his office so I can't say for sure.

Do you hear that sound?
It started sometime back.
It's a chant and a sound from the future.
Listen closely.
It was faint and is now getting louder.

4 more years,
Four More Years,
It's the chant of the delegates at the Democratic National Convention.
Next August in Los Angeles.
That will definitely be up as a .wav here at  bartcop.com.
I'll be there basking in glory as President-Elect Gore gets coronated.
When I get to LA though, I plan to see if I can do the drive from
Brentwood to Rockingham in 15 minutes.
The Orb says, "Absolutely."

I think it's only fair that the sex lives of Comrade Starr and the Starrinistas be investigated, don't you?
Do these people have sex lives as interesting as Bill Clinton's?
Maybe Connolly's book will have pictures of Ann Coulter's chi chi.
The Orb says, "Chances aren't good." It's just amazing
to me how much of the rightwingnut media are still after Big Bill.
It's like they are on some good Somalia Khat or something.
The Greatest President of the 20th century only has a few months to go anyway,
until President-Elect AlGore takes over.
The Orb speaks, "Indications say yes!"

Have you seen this man?
He was last spotted falling to the ground in some parade at the end of May.
After a flurry of name calling activity, he's disappeared.
Why even wingnut Fox whore Bill O"Reilly was questioning where candidate Lazio was.
To help in the search, O'Reilly called in Al (I'm not a crook) D'Amato.
Gangster Al says, "I don't know nothin about nothin."
If you see this man, call the local and national media and New York repug party.
The Orb says, "Events are cloudy."

Excerpts from a recent interview with Governor Bush. Without Handlers.
"Governor, let's talk about your record."

Gov. Bush, "My record! What do you wanna talk about my record for?
How'd I know she was 15, she looked 17 to me.
Besides, I done my time! Go on and talk about my record, whad you bring that up for?"

Reporter, "No, No Governor, your record of executions in Texas."

Gov. Bush, smirking and giggling, " What is the law, the law is we eat no meat."

Reporter, Just looks at the Guv, dumbfounded.

I think it's good that Cokeboy's DEEP background is starting to be looked at more closely.
We may not have to use those pictures after all.
I think it's only FAIR that car wreck where Laura Bush killed her boyfriend needs the same
amount of attention the Vince Foster case got. Don't you?
The Orb says, "Very Likely. But it's really not about being FAIR, is it?

Orb, what are your feelings about Governor Bush? The Orb says, "Is that an
8-ball in your pants or are you just glad to see me?


Tip of the hat to JennyQ1 for the Lazio milk carton.

 Great Republican Quotes

 "It's unrealistic to assume that police officers can be everywhere
  at every time, at all times."
    --  Rudy Giuliani, explaining why his cops ignored a woman's pleas
         to do SOMETHING about the sexual assaults that were going on.

 Inside the Mind of a Bush Voter

 The fact that two-thirds of death penalty sentences have been
 successfully repealed makes big headlines, but what we are not
 being told is that most of these convictions were overturned because
 the arresting officer forgot to bow down and lick the suspect's feet
 or the prosecutor sneezed during his final summation.

 Trust me, that was written by a white guy.

Al Mendoza of Sacramento says in a lawsuit that he stopped his
AOL account in October but AOL continued to bill him thru February.
He was only able to stop the AOL whores by cancelling his card.

Mendoza's attorney, Ken Richardson, contends "this has been an
ongoing practice at AOL for at least four years."

AOL's Rich D'Amato says he can't comment on the suit because he hasn't seen it.
"When someone wants to cancel, we certainly do it," he said

What a lying whore he is.

AOL pulled the same shit on me years ago, maybe 1996.
The first month they said it was "an innocent mistake."
The second month they said they'd take care of it, "for sure."
I wasn't in the mood to fuck with them, so I told them "I sue people for a living,"
and demanded the address of their service agent in Knuckledrag

"Why?" the man asked.
"Because I'm going to sue you," I explained.

That did the trick.
They sent me a copy of the VISA charge reversal ticket.

Don't let AOL screw you.

Ediotr's Note: The Boston Herald reported Monday that the
Massachusetts attorney general's office is investigating similar complaints.

This is AOL's regular practice - screw the customer until he complains.

Catholics Dump Gore
But they looooooooooove the Texecutioner

     The Catholic bishop of Scranton, Pa., barred Al Gore from giving
a speech yesterday in a church-affiliated hospital because he
supports abortion, which the bishop called an "unspeakable crime."

     Mr. Gore had to look for a sane, secular clinic that would let him
give his speech on health care. He also tried to smooth things over
with Bishop James Timlin by emphasizing that he respected the
religious leader's position, while disagreeing with it.
(Too bad the bishop wasn't as polite.)

     "Pro-choice politicians are invited to Catholic institutions all the time,"
Mr. Hudson said. "What is remarkable about this incident in Scranton is
that we have a bishop drawing the line regarding the presence of a politician
who is unambiguously clear and directly opposed to the Catholic teaching on life."

But they looooove the Texecutioner?
The Cocaine Kid with 131 notches on his belt?
What possible sense does...

Oh, that's right.
They're Catholics.

     A Republican strategist who spoke on the condition of anonymity,
pointed out that Mr. Gore is "malpositioned against traditionalist, observant,
Catholics "the kinds of Catholics who admire" Pope John Paul II.

But when the Pope begged Smirk not to murder Karla Faye Tucker,
Smirk told the Pope to mind his own business.
So the Catholics reward Smirk the Killer with their vote?

"Gore's the one who's going to have a problem with Catholics."

So, Gore loses the loon vote?

Catholic bishops are notoriously impractical.
Check this rant from waaaay back in Volume 10:

Have you heard about the wacky Catholic bishop?
He runs the Lincoln, Nebraska franchise for The Vatican.
Last month he changed some key rules. Starting on a certain
date, any Catholic that belongs to planned parenthood and
a small list of other "bad" groups, is "excommunicated."
In other words, they're thrown out of the Church and
one presumes, out of God's eternal embrace as well.
However, there's a problem.
The Catholics in Wichita, commiting the same "sin,"
go right to Heaven, no problem.

Last week I got on the Catholic chat and tried to get some opinions on this.
You guessed it, they saw "no problem" with this ruling by the bishop.
When I pointed out the Lincoln/Wichita factor, they clammed up
like conservatives do when forced to look at the facts.

They said "your question is ridiculous" and "if you don't know, we're
certainly not going to tell you" and any othertrick possible to avoid
answering a VERY direct question.

Among the possibles here:

If the Lincoln bishop moves to Buffalo,
are the Lincolnians then free to work at women's clinics?

Do the people of Buffalo now lose thousands of souls to
Satan because he moved there, instead of, say Birmingham?

What if you live in Lincoln 6 months per year?
What if you're a Denver Catholic, and you move to Lincoln
after the ruling is in effect?

What if, next year, the bishop decides those that read Playboy are out?
The month after it's those that watch HBO late at night.
Pretty soon you'll be out for not supporting the cut in capital gains.

I tried and tried to appeal to the more intellectually-oriented Catholics,
(oxymoron?) but they kept pretending not to understand the question
so they wouldn't have to answer it.

It's crazy to dedicate your life to a system of beliefs that you can't explain.

From: Stephen in New York

Excuse me...

but I don't think I can be reading right.

Did somebody say that Al Gore was evil?
As in Hitler and such?
Maybe somebody's finger slipped and the word evil just come out?
Perhaps they were just trying to say he was feeble?

You remember when Sadaam called us The Great Satan?
Maybe the person writing supports Sadam.
That would explain it, at least.

Come to think of it, didn't Hitler say the Jews were evil?
That's it -- must be a Sadaam sympathizer or a Nazi -- or both.
Or perhaps just a bad typist -- but somehow I don't think so.

And let's see...he's evil because he may or may not have used
the White House phones to ask for money and he may or may not
have said he invented the Internet (which, by the way, he didn't
exactly say, but all means, let's not let facts get in the way here).

Kinda weak on the Lex-Luthor-o-meter, if you ask me.

I wouldn't even call Shrub evil.
Feeble -- you bet!
But the "E" word ?
Not sure.
But if you ask me, signing execution orders before
you found out if the guy was innocent or not -- call me silly
if you like -- that just seems a little worse than, say, erasing some e-mail.

Now, let's all think back to before Al Gore was running for
President of the United States.

Remember when everybody was complaining about what a Boy
Scout Al Gore is?  Just laughing at him because they thought
they detected some scruples?  How did he become evil?

Even the New York Times criticized him recently for not owning any stock.
He divested so there wouldn't be any conflict of interest.

Now, I can't say for certain, but I bet that Shrub has some oil stock,
and he wasn't all too concerned about the conflict of interest thing.
Now, that's not even evil, but it sure ain't good.

Now, remember back when President Clinton got a blowjob and everybody
was talking about what a bad, bad, bad man he was.  Even then, not many
people said he was evil.

So, now you have Al Gore who apologizes whenever he looks at a
pretty woman who's not his wife.  You'd think that those same people
who were calling Clinton bad would turn around and call Gore good.

But no, apparently they call him evil.  What's a guy to do?

I, too, saw Al Gore in New York when he gave his speech.
It never even occurred to me to check for horns.
He just used the door to enter the room -- no earth opening up
and Gore appearing in flames and smoke or anything like that.
I assure you, I would have noticed something like that.
I have good observation skills.
I can attest that he didn't look at all evil.

In fact, I could see that the Vice President is, it's true,
a little shy.  And sure, it's real nice to have a President
who can project out into the crowd, but in the end, it's going
to be the stuff that's inside that counts.

And far from being evil, President Gore --- Oops --
I mean President-elect Gore -- Oops -- I mean Vice President
Gore sure does have a good mind and heart.
So let people know it, Al!

Aside from being evil, some people like to say he's boring,
uncharismatic, wooden and the like.  But maybe people should
take a closer look, because it would be a shame if just because
of some superficial remark, people began to believe
silly things like Al Gore is evil.

Or maybe I just need glasses, 'cause it seems awfully strange
for someone to write such a thing.  That still isn't evil,
but it sure ain't good.


 From:  mshemo@hotmail.com

 Subject: Dr Laura and Gays

 You're right, the Dr. Laura character doesn't "hate" gays. (Laura is an
 actress, after all, even if some of her listeners don't quite grasp that fact.
 Her weeping over the children always ends in time to go to commercial.)

 ha ha
 That's true.

 Relatively recently in her show biz career -- shortly after Bill Ballance
 sold her pictures -- Dr. Laura claimed to be convinced by one of her
 pet Christians that God forbids gays to express themselves sexually.

 (Amazing, isn't it, just when she needed a distraction, a scapegoat came
 along.) Gays are allowed to be -- if they don't flaunt themselves -- but
 not to do. In her ever-evolving opinion, it's just their hard luck: some
 people have deformities, some people are gay. Everybody has his cross to
 bear, even non-Christians. Just as Dr. Laura must abstain from bacon
 cheeseburgers, gays and lesbians must remain celibate. Although to us
 mortals, human sexuality seems like a major life activity, to God, one
 commandment is as important as any other.

 Strangely enough, she doesn't begrudge bacon cheeseburgers to people
 who aren't Jews, and she cheerfully allows non-Catholic couples to use
 artificial birth control, but in the matter of homosexuality, everyone,
 of any creed or no creed, must be an Orthodox Jew.

 This attitude is inconsistent and inhuman, of course, but it's also a
 cheap shot of self-righteousness for the heterosexually-inclined.
 To express her religious convictions, Dr. Laura could preach
 that Orthodox Jews must refrain from same-sex fornication just
 as they are prohibited from embracing Jesus as their personal savior, but
 let's face it, that approach wouldn't put her name in millions of
 gap-toothed mouths throughout America. Bill Ballance proved she'd do
 anything to make a man look at her; her crusade against gays proves that
 she'll stoop to the depths to make people listen.

 Margaret Shemo

 Great Biblical Quotes

``While both men and woman are gifted for service in the church,
  the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by scripture.''
  -- Southern Baptist Convention's core Faith and Message statement.


If God gave you a vagina, you're worthless.

 Who's Right?

``We set our hands to a time of recession and doubt
  and built it into a time of pride and plenty,
  the longest period of economic growth in the entire American record.''
     -- Al Gore, Tuesday in New York

But Bush and his supporters note that the last recession hit bottom and the
expansion began in March 1991, nearly two years before Bill Clinton took office.

I think Smirk is onto something here.

"Vote for me, because my Daddy was president
  when the last Reagan Recession hit bottom."

 Find Out Who Appointed Any Federal Judge

 To read a biography of any Federal Judge,
 including who appointed them to the bench, see:


 Thanks to Sabutai

 From: Peter.Hisey@faulknergray.com

 Subject: Begala Quote

 Actually, the line was even better. It was "when goofy ideas get to..."

 I sneak out of work a few minutes early so I can get home by 5:30 just to
 watch Begala slice Ollie into neat little segments. Last night was great. He
 kept pinning down the Goppers with "are you better off now than you were
 eight years ago." They had to admit they were, but kept trying to credit
 "the hard-working American people." He said, if the economy was in the tank,
 you KNOW you'd be all over Clinton and Gore, not the lazy American people."

 It was pretty funny.

 Peter Hisey

 The GOP keeps telling that lie, and nobody calls them on it.

 "Why did the American people refuse to produce for Reagan/Butch?"

 Great Moments in Comedy

"Bush's attack ad in California said, 'You can challenge me on the issues,
 but when John McCain compared me to Bill Clinton, that was too low.'

 Of all the things in the world, comparing me to the man who gave us
 eight years of peace and a roaring economy. The man must be punished!"
     --Bill Maher,"Be More Cynical" on HBO

 1980 - an election year.

 The Reagan campaign conducted illegal foreign policy with Iran,
 promising Islamic Jihad "weapons from the future" if they continued to hold the
 American hostages until after the election to make Jimmy Carter look weak.

 For their efforts, Reagan gave Islamic Jihad hundreds of Stinger missles.
 In return, Islamic Jihad continued to kidnap and torture American citizens.

 Then Smirk's Daddy pardoned the criminals  BEFORE THE TRIAL
 to hide the truth about their crimes from the American people.

 Since it had nothing to do with Clinton's Cock,
 the "people's right to know" did not apply.

 Since it had nothing to do with Clinton's Cock,
 the American whore-press dropped the subject.

 2000 - an election year.

 Who Stole the Los Alamos Hard Drives?

 It is possible that that the drives were stolen not by agents working for
 foreign enemies of the United States, but rather by a domestic agent
 working on behalf of the Bush presidential campaign.

 Full  Story

 Pardon me,

 but I need to get in a quick "fuck you" to this tramp, Laura the Cheap Whore.


A caller just said, "I come from a liberal family,"
and the dirty whore said, "I'm so sorry."

Hey, whore!

I'm going to run these vulgar pictures of you until the sun refuses to shine.
If you don't like it, have your very best lawyers sue me.

I'll pay the filing fee.

This Just In
 from our London Correspondent, Nick Barlow


 The whole world knows the Republicans are lying.

 Should Rudy Step Down?
  Cover-up, Whitewash Feared

* The number of women who reported they were attacked
   in Central Park by a rampaging gang of men shot up to 26.

* Internal Affairs investigators hauled in captains, lieutenants
   and sergeants who were on duty when the chaos erupted.

* Two victims to sue the NYPD for failing to respond to the assaults.
   Cops seen eating ice cream cones like Rick Lazio.

* 10-year veteran said cops were told to take a hands-off approach to parade-goers.

* Rudy denies cops were ordered not to crack down on illegal behavior at the parade.

* Three days after, the uproar over police indifference continued to escalate.

Read  Previous Issue

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