Vol 221 - The Tibetan Memory Trick

 July 1-3, 2000

 Celebrity Mail

 Subject:  Estate Taxes

Dear Mister Bartcop:

The GOP is trying to fix the tax code so we can inherit lots more money, and
that's good.  However, the law doesn't completely eliminate so-called "death
taxes" until 2010, and that's bad.

Here's our question:  Should we pray for Uncle Dickie to live until 2010,
saving us millions in taxes?

Or should we pray for Uncle Dickie to die now, so we can get our hands on it
before he blows it all on lavish parties for right-wing federal judges and
bribing  people to tell lies about President Clinton?


The Mellon and Scaife heirs

 The PBA Argument

 Click  Here

 Subject: For Sluttinger

 From:  Dian.Hardison-1@kmail.ksc.nasa.gov

 From the Time Magazine-Laura the Unloved interview

TIME:  How do you reconcile your harshness toward listeners over their moral
              lapses with your own, some of which have come out in the press?

Laura:   I can extrapolate that no mathematician working at NASA should ever have
            got a C on a math test when he was learning. So what?
            I never said I was divine.

Dear Hate-bitch:
No mathematician, or scientist or engineer for that matter, working here at NASA
has ever gotten a C in math.  We wouldn't have chosen this career if we had.

Dian Hardison

 VCR Alert

 They say tonight is the first time in my lifetime that The Wizard of Oz
 will be broadcast without commercial interruption.

 Remember, if you're brave, the Dark Side Oz will start at 11 PM EST.
 Look for it on Turner Classic Movies.

 Is Gore smart enough to be president?

 If it was Bill Clinton that had a tenant problem, he would've given her
 $1,000 and found her a new place to stay, because this idiot family
 now knows they can call Sean Hannity at Fox Whore News,
 for no goodamn valid reason and be on tlevision that night.

 Gore has his strong suits, be he's no Clinton.

 De-fense, Al.

 Another re-run from the Pigboy?

 Monday, Pigboy has taken ANOTHER day off.

 Is he back in the hospital for more butt surgery?
 How incompetent can those Lauderdale doctors be?
 How well can a hampster hide in El Pigbo's colon?

 He's punishing us by playing a particularly repugnant re-run of a bad show.
 It's the show where that Tracy Mayberry she-thing got all three hours.

 This is the show where thay call "Gore Property Management"
 about 30-40 times, running the same wasn't-funny-the-first-time gag
 again and again and again and again and again and again.

 Even the sheep must be gagging at the unfunny repeat.

 From:   Dian.Hardison-1@kmail.ksc.nasa.gov

 Subject: PBA

 Bartcop-man, there is NO SUCH THING as a "partial birth abortion."
 That's just another lie the pro-slavery, woman-hating repuke-licans
 have come up with to try to keep women "in their place."

 I flat guarantee you that a woman who has endured three-quarters of a year
 of pregnancy is not going to just decide to have an abortion.

 I know three women who have had third-trimester abortions. It broke their
 hearts. But the fetus was dead, or brain dead, and continuing to carry a
 fetid mutant collection of cells would have poisoned them -- and in one
 case, probably killed her.

 No one chooses an abortion for the fun of it. Anyone who opposes a woman's
 right to decide what to do with her own body is a sick, evil, perverted bastard.


 Ramdom Thought

 If Al Gore allows the Smirk campaign to paint HIM as the "big oil" candidate,
 that would prove to me that Gore's not smart enough to be president.

 Of course, he's much smarter than Smirk,
 so I expect him to not have this problem.

 Do you hear me, AL?

 Another Republican Gets Caught
 'Blowback' strikes Republicans again
 By Sandy Grady

 WHEN THEY nosily embarked on their crusade to impeach Bill Clinton, it was
 inevitable Republicans would be burned by their own sexual scandals.
 The CIA has a word: "Blowback," meaning you're caught at your own propaganda game.
 Sure enough, since Clinton's Monica episode, extramarital misbehavior roared
 through the Republican leadership like a Yellowstone fire.

 Let's see, there was Newt Gingrich, since divorced; his appointed heir Bob Livingston,
 who resigned; Henry Hyde (a "youthful indiscretion"); Clinton-baiter Rep. Dan Burton,
 who had to apologized to constituents for lying about his hidden bastard..

 Not to forget Rudy Giuliani, who covered up a relationship with his press secretary,
 then quit the Senate race against Hillary Clinton after a sizzling affair.

 Now, the Clinton Curse strikes again.
 Call it the Saga of the Congressman and the Lady Lobbyist.
 More than your Washington scandal du jour, the tale is entangled in a House
 fight over how retirees and baby boomers will afford prescription drugs.

 The congressman is Bill Thomas, R-Bakersfield, 58, married, head of a powerful
 health subcommittee -- and hustling to become the next Ways and Means  boss.

 The lobbyist is Deborah Steelman, 45, a comely, hard-driving insider who makes
 $2 million a year representing such pharmaceutical giants as Johnson & Johnson,
 Bristol-Myers, Squibb and Pfizer. She's married, but in the process of divorce.
 Steelman is touted for the Bush Cabinet to replace Donna Shalala.

 Thomas and Steelman have been engaged for the past year in an "intensely
 personal relationship," according to the congressman's hometown newspaper,
 the Bakersfield Californian.

 Without playing private eye, I don't know whether accusations of an illicit
 romance between the congressman and the lobbyist are true.
 If they are, the conflict of interest smells like a garbage dump.

 Two reasons to suspect reality:

 First, Thomas' gutsy local paper reported the relationship after insistent
 rumors -- heard also on Capitol Hill -- launched a six-month investigation.
 The Californian said the pair travel together and spend hours alone in Thomas'
 office. It quotes confidantes of top Thomas aide Carol Abernathy saying she
 was distraught over the affair's potential damage.

 Second, despite a flood of self-serving rhetoric, neither has uttered an outright denial.
 Why should anyone care if a congressman strays from his marriage?
 A confluence of events gives the Thomas-Steelman allegation impact on American lives.

 Republicans this week will struggle to shed the "Do-Nothing Congress" image
 by passing a medical-drug bill for the over-60 populace. This gizmo would let
 insurance companies sell policies for $35 to $40 a month to pay half of
 seniors' drugs up to $2,100 a year.

 Their plan is largely political cover in the 2000 elections. The golden-years
 vote will be pivotal. Republicans want to throttle a generous package by
 Clinton and Democrats to have Medicare pay for seniors' drugs. That would mean
 price controls, which big medical companies despise.
 The craftsman behind the Republican fig-leaf plan: Bill Thomas.

 The winners, if it passes, would be medical giants -- including the umbrella
 Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers Association -- for whom Debbie
 Steelman is a highly paid lobbyist.

 Notably, Thomas' colleagues don't leap to his defense.

 Ho-hum, some shrug that the infidelity story won't slow his rise to Ways and
 Means chairman -- or Steelman's place in a Bush Cabinet. Rep. Pete Stark,
 D-Calif., says, "If true, there should be an ethical investigation."

 But more urgently, suspicion about a Thomas-Steelman dalliance should stop
 cold the Republican prescription-drug plan.

 Why should a congressman's hormonal hijinks affect what a 70-year-old widow
 pays at the drug counter?

 Grady is Washington columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News.

 A One-page history of PBA's.

 Click  Here

 From: (withheld)

 Subject: PB Abortion Follies


 Don't be suckered in by the right-wing propaganda
 mill. Pigboy and all the rest of God's Own Party want you
 to believe 80% of Americans are opposed to partial birth abortion.

  Part of my point was everybody dislikes PBA.
  I don't know anyone who's pro-abortion.
  Abortion is like holiday highway deaths - nobody is in favor of them, but
  it's the price we agree to pay for the freedom to drive our millions of cars.

 Fact is, when a stranger calls to ask if you favor abortion, many folks
 will say 'NO' as they don't want someone thinking they're a baby murderer.

  True, true, true.
  It's like when the dumbass pollsters asked,
 "Are your morals higher than those of Pessnit Kinton?"
  everybody said, "Yes."

 Ditto for candidates and civic leaders. But, put these same folks
 in a voting both with an anonymous ballot, and there isn't a woman alive
 who doesn't know someone who's had a problem pregnancy. They may be
 morally opposed, but given the choice between a clinic or a coathanger
 for their niece or sister or daughter, they'll vote for safe abortion every time...

 Remember, in just the last four years, Dan Quayle and John McCain both
 said they'd support whatever decision their daughter's would make,
 which is totally against the GOP platform.

 They are liars and hypocrites.

 Here's a place you might visit:


 Religious Insanity

 Click  Here

 From:  skisics@yahoo.com

 Subject: Reagan Coin?

 Found this in my local paper:

 FLIP A COIN: Is a Ronald Reagan coin in the works?
 Could be.
 Senate Banking Chairman Phil Gramm, (R-Flunked 3, 4, & 7th grades)
 says one way to spur use of all those golden-colored Sacagawea coins is
 to rename them in honor of the ailing president and put his face on them.
 Gramm oversees Mint issues.

 My design, on the obverse would be Reagans face and on
 the reverse would be a ship brimming with missles and
 a torn copy of the constitution.

 skisics surus

 ha ha

 From: Blitzer89@aol.com

 Subject: Bye Bye Dr. L

 Radio KGO in San Francisco, an ABC affiliate, has dropped Dr. L
 as of last Friday. I just thought you should know about that.
 Unfortunately, she can still be found on the dial in these parts,
 but maybe KGO will start a trend in Northern California.
 One can only hope.

 Dr. Jim

 I think that's the third account since Friday of Laura or Pigboy losing their slot.
 Maybe a trend is starting?

 The Perfect Storm problem is corrected.

 See Below

 Congressman Traffican't

 I heard your rant last week about how terrible the Democrats are.
 They say you want to switch to the GOP.

 Please go,

 or beam up,

 or whatever the fuck it is traitors like you do to go away.
 We don't like stab-in-the-back sons-o-bitches in the Democratic Party.

So I'm watching Fox Whore News Sunday, I saw Smirk tell a crowd in Tennessee,

"Nobody's going to touch your benefits!
We're not going to cut Medicare, Social Security,
Medicade, military spending or tobacco subsidies."

"We're going to cut your taxes AND balace the budget."

Just then, Rocky and Bush-winkle appeared on the screen.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I assume it was liberals - hacking onto Fox Whore News.

Bush-winkle: "Hey, Rocky, watch me to pull a supply-side rabbit outa this hat."

Rocky frowns and says "Again? That trick NEVER works."

Bush-winkle reaches in the hat and pulls out a  DEFICIT LION  that ROARS at him.

Click  Here  to hear deficit lion roar!

Rocky: "....Wrong hat."

 Did you hear the vulgar Pigboy's big flip-flop Friday?

 Since they're having trouble getting people to believe
 that Ronald Reagan is responsible for the roaring economy,
 Rush is back to saying it's Clinton's economy,

 "...and it's not as good as Clinton would have you think."

 ha ha

 Poor Pigboy.

 Evan Bayh has been dropped from consideration for Gore's VP.

 It seems he's against what they call, "Partial Birth Abortions."
 Of course, everyone in America is against PBA's,
 so I'm not sure what Bayh's position is.

 Clinton wants to make PBA's illegal,


 he wants have a loophole if the life of the mother is endangered.
 How can anyone vote against the life of the mother?

 How Evan Bayh can be pro kill-the-mother is beyond me.
 Can anyone explain?

 Funny, Smirk has a similar problem:
 He's PRO-CHOICE when it comes to rape, incest or the life of the mother,
 but he'd let that same mother die if it was the eighth month on a PBA?

 Where the hell is the logic in that position?
 Even assuming men are crazy, why would a clear-thinking woman
 prefer death to the termination of a problem pregnancy?

 Who's the crazy person here?

 I'd appreciate your imput, especially you women.
 And double especially if you'd prefer death to terminating a problem pregnancy

 We saw "The Perfect Storm" over the weekend.

 I have a question about it, but I have to give away the ending, so
 Click  Here  if you've already seen it  or  don't mind knowing the ending.

 If Laura the Unloved is your hero, you won't like this at all

 Click  Here  to see a Rabbi Schlessinger cartoon series.

 (then hit "next")

 News Flash!

  This Just In, according to Newsweek,

 Gore Catches Smirk in Poll

  Full Story

  Al, ...not yet!
  It's not time, it's not time!!!.
  We haven't had our way with Smirk yet!

  Wait until after their convention to turn your horse loose..

 Can anybody explain this page?


  I need some kind of business manager or "brains" to handle stuff like this.

  Thanks to wezeldog@gate.net

  I know Gore can win this election without any help from Ol' BartCop.
  But I'm going to write a zinger for him to use against Smirk.

  Here's the deal:
  They're in the last debate, and some pundits score it even.
  Smirk makes his pitiful pitch for why he's the best man to drive the bus.
  Gore has three minutes to close and the debate's over.
  Here's what he says:

  "So help me God."

  Do you remember hearing those words from Governor Bush?

  What he said was, "Tax cuts - so help me God."
  Tax cuts are very important to the Republican party.

  But we all know if he cuts taxes, the oil companies will be a big beneficiary.
  He will be taking money from Social Security and Medicare and giving it to the oil companies.
  By cutting taxes, our fight against the deficit will slow down.
  When Wall Street sees the government is no longer serious about dealing
  with our national debt, they will get nervous.

  Besides, if he cuts taxes, what if that action had the unforseen side effect
  of stimulating this heavy-steaming Clinton-Gore economy?
  If that happened, the Fed would raise interest rates, drying up funds for the farmers
  and the small businessman, all so his rich, Texas oil company contributors can
  have a big tax break while it costs you  $55 to fill up your gas tank?

  We can't afford to risk this country's economy on a risky tax-cut scheme for the rich.
  We can't afford to risk your future on this "tax cuts, so help me God" idea.
  Say "Yes" to continued funding for Medicare, Social Security and the environment.
  Say "Yes" to fiscal responsibility and continued peace and prosperity.

  Look at it this way:
  Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect Social Security, so help me God?"
  No, he didn't say that.

  Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect Medicare, so help me God?"
  No he didn't say that.

  Did Gov Bush say, "I'll protect the environment, so help me God?"
  No he didn't say that.

  Did Gov Bush say, "I will continue to pay down the Reagan/Bush debt, so help me God?"
  No, he didn't say that.

  He said, "TAX CUTS, SO HELP ME GOD."

  So, ...I'm asking for your vote in November.

  Ladies and gentlemen,
  I give you my word that if you elect me,
  I'll pay down the Reagan/Bush debt,
  I'll continue the Clinton-Gore record of surpluses, not deficits,
  I'll continue the Clinton-Gore Miracle.

  ...so help me God.

  Al, use it if you need it, Buddy.

 I see where the Phillip Morris Cancer Company has purchased Nabisco.

 That presents a question:

Will they secretly add ammonia, formaldehyde and nicotine to Oreo Cookies
 to make sure the American children get hopelessly addicted to them?

Too High to Pee?

There are so many spinners, spokesmen and paid consultants spamming
the political coverage these days that a news junkie soon learns to
ferret out statements that just don't ring true.

This week, the Bush campaign said why Smirk failed to appear
for a  physical examination that included a screening for narcotics.

"He knew the suspension would have to take place."

Full  Story

...and funny, when the front-runner for president has a drug problem,
Face the Whore spent Sunday asking, "Are baseballs too lively."

The next person who tells me the American press is a "responsible entity"
 is going to get the heel of my hand up the nose.


 If you saw "This Whore" with Sam & Cokie,
 you know George Will said, "being born black is an accident of birth."


 Does that mean all black people are deviants?
 Does this mean Paramount TV will give George Will his own TV show?

 From: marc@perkel.com

 Subject:  Clinton should be disbarred!

 The Arkansas Supreme Court has filed suit against President Clinton
 stating that Clinton's conduct ''damages the legal profession and demonstrates
 a lack of overall fitness to hold a license to practice law''. All states have their
 "Rules of Professional Conduct" that holds lawyers to a very high standard of
 ethical behavior. Most people don't know it but a lawyer can be disbarred
 for making a misleading argument in court.

 As you might have guessed, even though these rules are on the books,
 they are rarely if ever enforced. The Rules of Professional Conduct are little
 more than a prop to create the illusion of ethical standards in the mind of the public.
 In practice lawyers, judges, and prosecutors are some of the most dishonest,
 deceptive, and unethical people I've ever met. It's somewhat laughable that
 they are truly offended about someone who lies about a sexual encounter.

 I think it would be a good precedent for Clinton to be disbarred because
 if they can disbar the president for lying about sex, then they can disbar lawyers,
 judges, and prosecutors for the ethical lapses of everyday court business.
 This would set an example that could lead to tens of thousands of lawyers
 being disbarred for similar breaches of the rules. It could lead to really cleaning up
 a badly broken justice system. And for that reason, I am confident that Clinton
 will not be disbarred. Lawyers and judges take care of themselves first.

 For further reading: People before Lawyers
 The rights of the people come before the profit of lawyers.

 Great Religious Quotes

 "When I was younger, I was gone from home so much, my wife
  would show my picture to the kids and say, "That's your daddy."
    -- Billy Graham, one of the good ones

 Hey, Billy!
 Why have them if you're not going to raise them?

 the Screeching Harpy.

 From: ajcortez@mindspring.com

 Subject: Updates


 Just a few notes.

 1. Here in Atlanta, home of the world's most famous redneck hurler,
 Dr. Whora is getting the ax. Her show is being pulled from it's valuable afternoon
 drive-time slot. I guess one can only handle so much vitriol while driving here.
 The traffic's bad enough here without people slamming their cars into
 highway pylons out of sheer Whora frustration.

 2. The rebel flag came down from the South Carolina capitol today.
 They promptly put it back up on a 3 story flagpole on the busiest street in town.
 So who is out there waving their rebel redneck flags and cheering
 on a bunch of guys in rebel uniforms? The freakin' Boy Scouts!

 It's not okay to be gay, but apparently its ok to be a racist in the Scouts.

 Keep the flames burning.



 Subject: Debbie Schlussel article on Rush

 From: Duprass@aol.com

 I almost made it through this article without hurling,
 but her belief that  Rush, unlike Dennis Miller, is a "class act"
 pushed the bile right up to the back of my throat.

 Emergency rooms and poison control centers should
 keep this article around to use as an ipecac.


 Mikey, I found out WHY she wrote that petty, mean-spirted hatchet job.

 Click  Here

 June 30, 2000


 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 As you pay through the nose to fill-up at the pump this holiday weekend, you
 can thank George W. Bush's friends at Big Oil. Bush has long been a faithful
 servant of Big Oil. He has said, "There's no such thing as being too closely
 aligned to the oil business." And his record proves it.

 Just last year he rushed through an "emergency" tax cut for oil companies.
 That's right. The man who has cut welfare benefits for poor mothers
 struggling to raise their children, gave a huge tax break to such charity cases
 as Chevron, Texaco, Exxon and Union Oil of California.

 How Guilty is Smirk?

 Click  Here

 From:  henryporter@operamail.com

 Subject: Abortion clinic & JWR

 A followup to  teabow@email.msn.com

 I'm also a little confused by your connection between the JWR and an abortion
 clinic. I searched the site and couldn't find anywhere where it said who its
 sponsors are. You're not the only one who thinks this type of rag being
 sponsored by an abortion clinic is strange, but its not immediately obvious
 where it says this. Maybe you can elaborate?


 Henry, you speak for many.
 The web is a weird thang, and I don't understand it all.
 When I first clicked on Debbie's JewWorldReview site, or whatever it is,
 I saw a banner right above her headline for a women's clinic that
 started their pitch with the come-on, "PREGNANT?"

 It showed a picture of a sad, scared teenage girl.
 Knowing it was a right-wing snakepit,
 and knowing how they'd rather see coathangers make a comeback
 than allow a woman to make an intelligent decision with her doctor's guidance,
 I clicked on the banner to see what the trap was.

 I confess, I didn't read it all, but since I suspected a trick, I just looked for
 the disclaimer to see if I was right. I read a paragraph that said, basically,
 that it would be wrong to terminate a pregnancy after X-many weeks.
 (It might've been 20 weeks)

 In the real world, when you say "It's wrong after X,"
 that means it's not wrong BEFORE you get to "X."

 At that point, I assumed JWR were whores, making a few dimes from
 an abortion clinic while screaming at scared teenagers, "Don't go there."

 All together, I clicked on it 3 or 4 times.
 Later yesterday, I clicked on it again, and it said,
 "Cannot Click Thru at this time."

 ha ha

 In all my years on the Internet, I've never seen a banner that refused
 to dump their schpiel on me. I thought that was very strange.
 I clicked it several times later, and could never get thru.

 Today, they have a different banner entirely.


 Let's give them the benefit of the doubt, (something they'd never do for us)
 and assume they're not THAT goddamn stupid to sign up with an abortion clinic.
 It's possible they signed up with a company that distributes dozens of banners
 for dozens of companies, and this one just slipped thru.

 It's possible/probable that after I blew the whistle on them, they contacted the
 banner people who then suspended the banners while they looked into it and
 effected repairs, thus explaining my inability to "Click thru."

 But it DID look funny to see Dr. Laura's message, among others,
 being brought to hundreds of homes by the friendly neighborhood abortionist.

 Ugly, Ugly Pigboy Quotes

  Ediotr's Note: This quote is so awful, so full-of-hate, I wouldn't
  blame you if you assumed I was just in a bad mood and made shit up.
  Sadly, it's true. This quote came from the leader of the Republican party:

 "I'm going to play you a tape from the Oprah show from June 20, this year."

 Oprah's Voice: "We cry most every day on my show."

 "You see? Did you hear that? She admitted it, she admitted it!
  Oprah admitted she cries every day on her show,
  and I'm the only one with the courage to point that out to you."

 Yes, Rush, and what a courageous son-of-a-monkeybitch you are!!!
 Who else in this whore-driven country would have that much "courage?"

 I can't think of anyone, can you?

 Subject: Debbie Schlussel article on Rush


 I almost made it through this article without hurling,
 but her belief that  Rush, unlike Dennis Miller, is a "class act"
 pushed the bile right up to the back of my throat.

 Emergency rooms and poison control centers should
 keep this article around to use as an ipecac.


 Mikey, I found out WHY she wrote that petty, mean-spirted hatchet job.

 Click  Here

 Celebrity Movie Reviews

 Betty reviews ultra-right wing Mel Gibson's "The Patriot."


From:  ranting_wacko@hotmail.com

New York had roughly a dozen alone covering the third base line
and a small platoon in left field bullpen where Rocker was warming up.
Many of these cops were decked out in full riot gear.

Now think about it: You're an angry and upset New Yorker, but there are all
of these cops in FULL RIOT GEAR around, ready to deal with anyone who is
being even mildly threatening towards Rocker.  Considering that we are
dealing with the same organization that recently put 41 shots in a man armed
with a wallet and raped another man with a plunger... well, if you're partly
rational, that thought is going to offset a lot of your desire to boo.

Is it just me, or is it awfully suspicious when an idiot redneck like Rocker can
justify the presence of 700 cops to protect his sorry ass, but they can't spare one
to do something about a gang of men sexually assaulting women in Central Park?

Ranting Wacko

Rudy is a Republican.
He decides what has priority.

Subject:  abortion clinic???

 From:  teabow@email.msn.com

You wrote,

>Why is http://www.jewishworldreview.com/
> home to George Will, Ann Coulter and Dr Laura
> brought to you by an abortion clinic?

What am I missing?
I'm not getting your "connection."


I thought an ultra-ultra-conservative web-site sponsored
by an abortion-clinic was just a little bit strange.

Maybe I'm the only one...

 Oh, No!

 Subject:  I never thought I'd say this

 From:   abigayle@surfsouth.com

 Hi Bartcop.
 Abigayle here with disturbing news. We live, as you may remember,
 down here in S. Georgia. about 60 miles from Jimmy Carter's farm and

Transfer interrupted!

about 90 miles from John Rocker's parents.

 All the radio stations down here are booting Rush off the air.
 His last day is Fri June 30 (no joke).

 What will I do??

 I've wasted at least 5hrs/week for 8 years listening to his crap.
 Wait...what does that say about me??


 This is disturbing news, indeed.
 I, too, would miss my daily dose of Nazi hate.
 I know we'll always have Fox Whore News, and that'll do when Pigboy's gone,
 but Pigboy needs to have that giant ass-whooping before he leaves.

 I think Rush will quit after Gore is inaugurated in January.
 He'll claim it's he's resigning "to pursue other interests,"
 but we all know the real reasons he's getting out:

 1. America, even the Nazi right, is growing tired of Piggy, Piggy one-note.
 2. He knows he's got a BartCop-style ass-whooping coming if he stays.

 Koresh, I've been doing this four and a half years.
 I thought, someday, I'd get big enough to challenge the Chupacabra,
 but nooooooooooooooo.  he's going to steal away, clean as a Nazi whistle.

 Somewhere out there, there's a millionaire who wants to see Rush eat it.
 Please, Mr Millionaire, our time is running out.
 Unlike his mentor Adolph, Rush won't put a bullet in his brain.
 He's going to escape with his hundreds of millions.


 Hurry. Mr. Millionaire - contact me right away,
 we can't let the bastard get out without his ass-whoopin'

 VCR Alert

 If you're still doing drugs, or have small children, you might enjoy the
 Rocky and Bullwinkle Marathon on the Cartoon Network tomorrow.
 The funfest starts at 4 PM EST/PST.

 It's a three-hour flashback to... I'm not sure what.
 They stopped making those cartoons when JFK was president.

 I don't know about you, but I'm damn tired of hearing the Republicans
 whine about that terrible 4.3 cent gasoline that the bad, bad president
 "rammed down your throats."  They're screaming and scheming to repeal
 the most recent federal gas tax, when they have 37 governors who could
 reverse the mugh-higher state tax in a matter of days.

 Haven't you Republicans ever heard of the 10th Amendment?
 Bob Dole carries a copy of it wherever he goes. Why don't one of you jump
 on a plane and fly to Loserville, FL and ask Bob if you can borrow his copy?

 If that doesn't work, I'll try to crank up the clue generator and see if we
 can't educate some ditto-monkeys into figuring out what you stand for.

 If you Republicans think the price of gasoline is too high,
 stop playing politics with those four pennies and ask your state legislators
 to suspend the state taxes and PROVE this is about money, not politics.

 Illinois Governor Ryan has done this, signing a 6-month suspension.
 Indiana has signed up for a 60-day suspension.

 Good for you!

 Now if we can just get "Mr Oil" in Texas to do something besides whine...

 The Wizard of Oz (w/Update)

 Did you get your new TV Guide with a Republican on it?
 I got the one with Rush on the cover - figures.
 There are four TV Guides in all, with Dole, Newt and Dan Quayle.

 Did you see where Turner Classic Movies is running the Wizard of Oz movie
 with Pink Floyd playing "Dark Side" on one of the audio channels?

 The premier is July 3, at 11 PM EST

 Click Here  for complete info package, with synch instructions, and similarities to watch for.

 That takes me back to the dark hours of  RL-LNW Vol 100.
 Brrrrr, those were cold days...

 If you read Volume 100 in the next few days,
 please don't write and tell me your opinion.
 I have already been punished for that.

 Trap Mail


 Subject: You're acting like a Republican

 In issue #217 you said,
 "Like an idiot, Rocker said next weekend he's going to take the #7 Train
 he made famous to prove to the New Yorkers that he can take the heat."

 Clearly, taking the train would have been a ridiculous, selfish publicity stunt that
 would have been a pain in the ass for all concerned. You seem to agree that it would
 have been the wrong thing to do. But now you say
 "After defiantly vowing to take the No 7 train to Shea Stadium, John Rocker got a ride
 to work in a police car. It proves all redneck-bullies are yellow, girly-man cowards."

 So what the hell was the right move??


 Have you ever seen Die Hard III?
 The bad guy made Bruce Willis go to Harlem and
 parade around with a sign that said, "I Hate Niggers."
 In both cases, the trick is to not get in that position in the first place.
 He threw down a gauntlet, which I thought was stupid.
 Then he had to pick it up and put it back in his pocket, which was stupid.
 Yes, the train idea was everything you and I said it was.
 Raceboy was trying to be a macho prick, and he had to back down like a sheep.

 I remember when Dee Dee Meyers first got to Washington
 she got some advice from Bush press secretary Marlin Fitzwater:
 "You never have to explain something you didn't say."
 If Rocker would just stop begging for trouble, it would be slower finding him.

 24 years ago on Saturday Night Live, OJ Simpson said,
 "My mouth ain't writin' no checks my body can't cash."
 Rocker's mouth keeps writing checks his body can't cash.
 He should either turn liberal or have his mouth sewn up.

 By the way,  you need to oil your trap.


Don't forget!

Only two more days left to win a Free Printer from  cunninghamstrikes.com

 From: StewartAdler@SE.Boing.com

 Subject: Keating

 Hey BC -
 You may have missed the best line in the Drudge story about Keating:
 "One driving force behind the Keating choice - Bush's wife!"

 Hillary was evil because she dared to give advice to Bill, right?


 ha ha

 Poor Smirk,
 All the problems that poor bastard has, and now this.
 Who knew that Pickles really wears the pants in the family?

 Today's Republican Quote

 "The Drudge Report?
  I don't put much stock in what Matt Drudge says..."
    -- Frank Keating, the man Drudge says Smirk picked

 Battery Night
   Nazi has Fastball

New York submits to Rocker's Charm
Begs his forgiveness, asks for another chance.

Rocker sprinted into Shea Stadium at exactly 10 PM last night and tamed New York.
That crowd was as silent as a Republican at an charity auction for AIDS victims.
Rocker blew past the lineup in the eighth and became whitey's hero - again.

Watching him mow down the Mets and tame that crowd put a thud in my stomach.
I felt like I was in Berlin in 1936, watching Max Schmelling knock out Joe Louis,
watching Jesse Owens stumble and fall, breaking his jaw in two places,
proving the Hitler/GOP theory that whites are indeed the superior race.

It almost drove me to drink.

 Paula Begala Shoots the Bull

 In another ruling, the Court said the Boy Scouts of America may bar a gay man
 from serving as a scoutmaster. What on earth does who you fall in love with
 have to do with being a scoutmaster? If the Scouts want to sit in moral
 judgment of their potential scoutmasters, I suppose that's fine. But where do
 they draw the line? Divorce and remarriage are sins in my church.

 Will they bar men who, like Ronald Reagan, are divorced and remarried?
 Will they bar men who drink alcohol?
 What about men who are rumored to have used illegal drugs in the past,
 but won't answer questions about it today?

 ha ha

 Like all discrimination, this is stupid. It is mindless. It seeks to
 denigrate and dehumanize people because of an immutable characteristic.
 That's what so much of this debate comes down to: Do you think people
 are born gay (or straight), or do we choose? Me, I don't recall choosing.

 I fell in love with a girl, and although her three brothers are plenty "cute",
 they never really moved me the way that girl did. I didn't choose.
 I was -- and am -- straight. That's how God made me.
 To believe we choose requires you to believe that we sit down with a pencil
 and paper, draw a line down the middle and write the advantages and
 disadvantages of each lifestyle, then choose

 Bad Language Alert

 Do you remember my religiously-insane friend Papax7?
 (He has 7 kids, thus the name)

 He writes a Christian version of  bartcop.com
 Because he's religiously insane, he gets confused a lot.
 I half-read his most recent opus, and I chose that word intentionally.
 He writes about things such as "left-wing media bias."
 Here's a short clip from Papa's Cyber Weekly.


"Under special scrutiny these days, Texas, which leads the nation in executions.
 Another report by the Chicago Tribune reviews 131 inmates executed by Bush.
 It finds dozens of cases in which inmates were executed despite serious questions
 about the competence of their defense and the reliability of key testimony:
 43 included defense lawyers publicly sanctioned for misconduct; 23 relied on
 testimony from jailhouse informants, among the least credible of witnesses;
 40 involved trials in which almost no defense was even presented....
 This issue may dog Bush the entire campaign."
  -- NBC reporter Lisa Myers, June 12 Today.

 Now, in his own fogged mind, he sees that as "media bias."
 But did you notice who wrote the piece?
 It was that dirty crack-whore Lisa Myers.
 Remember Lisa Myers?

 I fucking do.

 I also remember she was the most popular bitch at Fox Whore News
 just after impeachment. Lisa Myers was the crack-whore that dug up
 Juanita Brodderrick and coerced/begged/paid/cajoled/threatened her
 into making those wild-ass charges from 25 years ago against Clinton.

 (Charges so wild - she never told her husband.
  She claims she came home, beaten and raped by the Lt. Gov of Arkansas
  but never mentioned a thing to her husband? And he never asked?
  Must've been a sweet marriage if she came home all beat-to-hell and
  her husband never even asked, "Why the fat lip, Honey?")

 I distinctly remember that dirty, rotten son-of-a-bitch Brit Hume wearing
 a "FREE LISA MYERS" button, because they knew Lisa Myers had created
 some really disgusting and flammable horseshit against Clinton, who was going
 thru a hardon-driven impeachment trial at the time and all those handjobs at
 Fox Whore News were giving each other high fives on how much fun it
 was going to be to watch Clinton squirm while this sick, sick woman spewed
 her paid-for hate against the president who saved us from the Reagan Error.

 Oh, yeah!

 Lisa Myers was the toast of Washington DC for weeks and weeks, playing
 the innocent victim because her "Clinton-loving bosses at NBC refused to
 let the truth out to save their friend, the rapist president?"

 Sure, Lisa.

 We alllllllllll believe the press would rather protect Clinton than publish
 the most explosive story in 234 years of presidential history.

 Sure, uh-huh.

 NBC felt the Brodderrick charges were baseless innuendo and partisan bullshit,
 but the cock-suckers at Fox Whore News called it, "world-class journalism,"
 so they all wore "FREE LISA MYERS" buttons as a fucking prank to try to
 force NBC to air the Lisa Myers interview with the wild charges.

 In my book, that crack-whore Lisa Myers is just as bad as Backdoor Bettina Gregory.
 What could be less professional for a female journalist filing a report while her
 private parts are dripping like a goddamn popsicle while she makes shit up trying
 to take down a president so she can get her fucking name in a history book
 like Woodward and Bernstein?

 ...and now, 15 months after Fox Whore News was BEGGING for somebody
 to put this disgusting gutter-tramp Myers on the air to spew her hate and her lies,
 we get a lamb like Papax7 using Lisa Myers as an example of left-wing media mias?

 Oh, Papa!
 You're taking my nice-vs-smart theory to new heights.

 Lisa Myers isn't an example of media bias.
 She's an example of a crack-whore, who will sell ANYTHING she has for a fucking dime.
 She's not a liberal, you nut!
 If she was a liberal, she wouldn't have tried to fuck Clinton
 Try to understand - she'll fuck anything or anyone for a dime!
 That's what whores do - at least the cheap ones.

 So, Papa, next time you attack the media, ask yourself:
 Are they politically biased?
 Or are they just common crack-whores, willing to fuck anything or anyone?
 Lisa Myers is a dirty crack-whore.

 Papa, I have one more painful piece of news for you:
 Rush, Hannity and Dr Laura?
 They are NOT conservatives - they are whores.
 They're being paid millions to make shit up.
 Millions, papa.

 It's just not possible to find Clinton guilty 10,000 times out of 10,000 charges.
 It's not possible, no matter who it is.
 Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot were only guilty 3/4 of the time, but Rupert Murdoch
 WILL NOT PAY for stories about Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot.

 Rush, Hannity and Dr laura are making millions by pretending.
 Say it with me, "pre*TEND*ing."

 Sorry to burst your bubble, old buddy.
 If YOU are religiously insane, or would just like to hear the rants of someone who is,
 send e-mail to papax7@prodigy.net   but if you do, be nice. I've sent a lot of crap
 Papa's way over the years, and like a TRUE Christian, he's never lost his temper
 or gotten personal and his cheap shots are always accidental.

 Papa reminds me of my US Representative, Steve Largent.
 Decent man, great husband, great Dad and family man, but religiously insane,
 and ready and willing to force the "real" God into your life thru legislation.

Read  Previous Issue

 Go     bartcop.com

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