Vol 227 - Oh, Caroline!


 July 19, 2000

 It's always a good idea to check   AtWitsEnd.org

 Click  Here

 I'm so jealous.
 Bob has his own radio show...


 USA Today says Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's convention speech
 will be her highest-profile public appearance she's her father's funeral in 1963.

 Wow!

 Hey, Smirk!

 Now is the time to be scared.


 From:  dude7891@yahoo.com

 Subject: OUTRAGE!

 I am really pissed about the conservative media bias now.
 The Clinton Cock Hunt ends on Jan 20, 2001 (maybe) and nothing else is important.
 W could have distributed TON'S of cocaine, had hundreds of illegal Mexican
 children, went AWOL for fucking years. It just doesn't matter.
 It's not Clinton's Cock and therefore not important.

 You know after reading Joe Conason's article and Jake Tapper's in Salon,
 why don't the democrats fight back?
 There is no get even by the Democrats.

 Are the democrats a bunch of fucking pussys??
 Art Richardson
 

 Art, yes, they are.
 The Democrats are scared bunnies.
 The majority leader of the Senate is a Nazi and they're too afraid to point that out.
 Thank Koresh for people like Conason, Carville and Begala.

 I said it 1,000 times during impeachment:

 Barr started impeachment proceedings BEFORE anybody ever heard of Monica.
 The white-power freaks were always going to impeach Clinton,
 but first they had to fabricate a "crime."

 It was never about the rule of law.
 It was always about getting the "nigger-lover" out of office.


 From: mrte@home.com

 Subject: re: What's a Smirk to do?

 He can nominate Dan Quayle.......idiot-savant-favorite-son-of-the-right
 .......pre-approved by the most loyal republicans. Sure it sounds stupid,
 but no more stupid than resurrecting all of his daddy's other ex-partners
 in crime like Kissinger, Powell, Cheney, Baker, Thornburg, Schwarzkopf,
 Sununu, Rove, Perle, and Shultz, plus Rice, Wolfowitz, Armitage.....etc.....etc.

 Considering his less than stellar intelligence he's got nothing to lose.
 And after all, isn't Quayle a kindred spirit of sorts?
....plus look at all those campaign signs and buttons they can also resurrect.
 m/

 ha ha

 Please God - I'll go back to Church!  I promise!

 I'd like a shiny red Accura NSX, too.

 ha ha


 From: stevepen@webtv.net

 Subject: New Republican Slogan

 IT'S COOL TO BE CRUEL!
 VOTE REPUBLICAN.

 I can't understand all the fuss about Dubya. After all, we threw his old
 man out. Does anyone really think Dubya will do a better job?

 ...Steve
 

 Steve, good point.
 People forget Smirk Daddy was fired for incompetence!


 A good web site in Intelligencia.

 www.jeffersondemocrats.org


 From:  Taylorraca@excite.com

 Subject: This is an outrage

 Bartcop, does this quote enrage you like it does me?

 "I don't think we have an obligation to carry a commercial of the two
  political parties simply because they would like us to."

 --  SAM DONALDSON, on the networks' limited convention coverage

 Here this bastard, who felt it was QUITE necessary to subject us all to intimate details
 of President Clinton's sexual fantasies, is treating the conventions to determine the next
 leaders of the free world as if it was a COMMERCIAL!
 The equivalent of selling Twinkies.
 I am choking on my own rage, here, Bartcop!

 Robbie Taylor
 I am at one with my duality.
 

 Robbie,
 They won't cover much because Clinton's Cock will only be there one night.
 "F" the networks.

 We have CNBC, MSNBC, CNN, C-Span and even the Fox Whores.
 We don't need Donaldson and Judas Maximus screeching at us.


 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 Bush and his constant photo ops with minority children look like Dukakis in the tank
 -- thanks to a new study that shows Bush neglected to provide food for 90 percent
 of the hungry children in his state at one point last year, despite the fact that he had
 federal money to feed them. I guess Donna Brazile was right:
 Bush would rather take pictures with hungry children than feed them.

 The convention speeches by both Bush and Gore will be vital.
 At every critical moment that I've known him, Al Gore has always risen to the occasion:
 whether it was debating Ross Perot or giving a major speech. So I have every reason to
 believe that Gore will do well -- and Bush will freeze up: he'll clutch that podium with a
 death grip and read the words off the TelePrompTer like he was making a hostage video.
 "I----am----being-----well-----treated-----by----my-----captors."

 Bottom line: Gore wins.
 (And don't forget who's been saying that all along.)

 ha ha

 Thanks, Paul.


 Great Rush Quotes

 "It doesn't matter if the VP is pro-choice."
   --Third hour, today.

 But Pigboy,
 Truman, Nixon, Johnson, Bush and Gore all became president
 by going thru the VP door, but you say it doesn't matter?

 Having a "baby-killer" on the ticket "doesn't matter?"

 ha ha

 While I was typing this, Pigboy just said, "The symbolism is what matters."

 ha ha

 The symbolism is what matters?
 Pigboy, do you think this is your first show?
 Do you think the sheep can't remember what you've always said?
 You've always said substance was important, not symbolism.

 What kind of morals does Smirk have, that he'd put a baby-killer on the ticket?
 Who will those "babies" depend on if Smirk is indicted and has to resign?

 Then, President Baby-Killer Ridge would have veto power when
 the all-GOP congress tries to overturn Roe v Wade!

 Why are you lying, Pigboy?
 Is this a life-and-death issue?
 Or is it just a cheap political issue to use?

 Could I have an answer right away?

 The GOP is throwing the baby out with the Smirk loss, proving it was NEVER
 about "saving little babies." It was always about fooling the religio-nuts - always!

 ha ha


 Is it against the law to say, "fucking Jew bastard?"
 I was just wondering.

 Twenty-six years ago, while Hillary MAY have been cursing, Smirk was
 snorting cocaine, humping Mexican prositutes and drunk-driving younger brother Marvin
 into the next-door neighbor's trash cans, and then, and then, challenging Smirk Daddy
 to a "mano-a-mano" fisting. But, Smirk has repeatedly said,
 "I refuse to play that game," when asked to accept responsibility for his behavior.

 But Smirk!

 Cocaine and drunk-driving are ILLEGAL!
 Those are felonies!

 Is it a felony to say, "Jew bastard?"

 No, but the press will run wild with the non-crime because,
 yep, you guessed it
 - it's indirectly related to Clinton's Cock, so it's Page One news!!!

 ...so Smirk's felonies will remain unreported for another week or two.


 Keating to execute man in bid to get on the Smirk ticket

 Gregg F Braun is scheduled to become an "honarary Texan" just after midnight
 Knuckledrag time for killing an Ardmore, OK florist.

 The Texecutioner is expected to watch the killing on closed circuit TV
 that his buddy Frank set up just for him.  Smirk said a "good execution,"
 was just what he needed to relax from the stress of picking a VP.

 Braun's attorney's have argued that he shouldn't be executed because he was
 on a cocaine binge at the time, and that should be taken into consideration.

 "Even so," Smirk said, "he probably did the crime, and if Frank Keating
 fries this man, I'll consider putting him on the ticket with me."


 The Dallas Cowboys got a shock today.
 Guess who showed up to play quarterback?

 Are they really going to give her $85,000,000?


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "We're back, Maja-Rushie, having more fun ...than a human being ...has...
  ...I mean,  ...uh,
 ...more fun than a human being should be allowed to have."
 

 Poor Pigboy, can't even remember his tag line, anymore.
 Marta - after this election, tell the vulgar Pigboy to retire
 or you will certainly leave his stroked-out Nazi butt.


 I open today's USA Today Newspaper.

 I turn to page 14A.
 I check for air quality today.

Atlanta             Moderate
Baltimore         Good
Boston             Good
Chicago           Good
Dallas          UNHEALTHY
Denver            Moderate
Detroit            Good
Houston     UNHEALTHY
Los Angeles    Moderate (former dirtiest city)
Miami              Good
New York      Good
Philly               Good
PittsburgH       Moderate
Salt Lake         Moderate
San Fran         Good
Washington     Good

The ONLY  unhealthy  air in the United States today is  SMIRK'S!

Don't worry - Smirk will put the blame Louisiana!


 What's a Smirk to do?

 So I open my Knuckledrag daily, and I see the headline:
 "Smirk receives OK to choose pro-choice running mate"

 Of course, the headline was lying, because when you read the text it says,
 "Forty-nine percent of the GOP Convention delagets say it's OK,"
 which isn't exactly the same as getting permission from the CCC.

 Obviously, every peep out of the Smirk camp is a trial balloon.
 Smirk wants Ridge real, real bad, but he can't have him!

 He's going to have to settle for "ghost employee" K-Drag Gov Frank Keating.

 Here's a preview of what Smirk will get if he picks Ridge:

 1. Buchanan goes berzerk with his $12,000,000 telling the GOP to
     "come home" to his pro-life candidacy. It's another arrow in Pat's quiver
     that Smirk and Gore are "twins."

 2. People like me will point out this inconsistency:
     A. Abortion is murder, they say.
     B. Ridge is pro-murder.
     C. Smirk has a murderer on his ticket!
     ha ha

 Let's run thru the short list, one more time.
 According to the AP poll of GOP delegates, the top choices, in order, are:

 1. Ridge, the baby-killing Catholic.
     Ridge brings more baggage than a Barbara Streisand African safari.
     If you're in the CCC, what's crazier than a Catholic?
     A Catholic who sold out his faith!
     Please God, make it so.

 2. E-Doli, a plastic, phoney-baloney 70-year old Miss America combatant
     Please God, make it so.

 3. John Kasich, a gay gun-grabber!
     Perfect!
     How can the GOP hate gays and nominate a gay for VP?
     And he's a gun-grabber!
     The NRA is not going to let a "Clinton-clone" be on the ticket.

 4. Colin Powell, pro-choice and, don't tell anyone - he's black.
     The party of the CCC will not nominate a negro.
     They can pretend and bluff all they want, but Na-Ga-Da.

 5. John McCain, who feels the same way about Smirk that you and I do.

 6. Hey!   I didn't see Frank Keating anywhere on that list, did you?
     ha ha
     Keating has to be the most worthless VP choice, you know why?
     A. He's from Oklahoma.
          He doesn't know shit about shit.
          He's never been a representative or a senator.
          He doesn't know a damn thing about Washington.
          He doesn't know how a bill becomes a law.

     B. He's from Oklahoma.
          He doesn't know anything about foreign policy.
          Like Smirk, he's probably gotten drunk in Mexico, but does that help?

     C. He's from Oklahoma.
          Smirk could give Tim McViegh oral sex on Larry King and he'd STILL
          carry Oklahoma even if Gore wanted to abolish the IRS.

     D. He's from Oklahoma.
          The only local government people he knows are Uncle OJ Watts, Jim Inhofe,
           Don Rickles, Ernest Istook and, as though we could possibly forget,
           the Jesus Twins, Steve Largent and Tom Coburn.
          Keating doesn't know how to act around non-Okies.

Yet,

 yet,

 yet, when Smirk picks Keating, the vulgar Pigboy and the Fox News Whores
 and the New York Post will say "He was the best candidate, the top choice."

 So, the practical (?) pick is Ridge or Keating.

 Get ready for a ride on the comedy rollercoaster!


 What's today's date?

 No, it's not time, .....yet.

 ha ha

 Poor Smirk.


 Very, very bad language alert

 Sidebar:
 All "facts" in this story have been filled in by my memory.
 If I say "sister," it might be "sister-in-law."
 If I say "two years," it might've been 18 months.
 If you want to attack me for telling falsehoods, you'd better catch me
 telling a whopper because I'm saying this is only true in general terms.

 Rush keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on about
"all the different people that this White House has set out to destroy,"
 and then he lists the "fucking Jew bastard,"  Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers,
 Kathleen Willey, Linda Tripp, Kylie Dolly Browning, Luci the Bat, etc etc.

 Do you know what all of those people have in common?

 They've all tried to make millions by selling unproven accusations against
 the best president we've ever had - and Rush is upset if Clinton defends himself?

 To hear the Pigboy tell the tale, Clinton goes thru different phone books
 each night, randomly picking anonymous, unknown women to destroy.

 Show me a woman on that list that  did not try to get rich by lying about Clinton.

 Which reminds me - I finally need to tell the "Ben Stein" story.

 First of all, Ben Stein can eat shit and die, let's get that out of the way.
 My problems with Ben Stein started when he wrote a column listing similar
 complaints to the one bothering His Oinkness today.

 Stein went on and on, attacking Clinton for "destroying" these women,
 women who left their homes and families and careers so they could run into
 the national spotlight with a no-proof, religio-fueled accusation against Clinton.

 Like the vulgar Pigboy, Stein went on and on and on and on and on and on
 about what an evil bastard Clinton was, while completely ignoring the FACT
 that each of these women picked a fight that didn't need to be fought.

 Two things struck me:
 1. Why is Hollywood jokeboy attacking Clinton?
 2. Why is he jumping into this battle?  Who is Ben Stein?

 Flash forward a year or two.

 Ben Stein's sister died.
 I didn't know this, but Stein is from a politically-connected family.
 His brother is/was somebody, his father is/was somebody.

 When his sister died, he was very surprised to get a personal, hand-written
 note from President Clinton saying he knew her, or whatever, and was saddened
 by her passing and he wanted Ben Stein to know his sister was in his prayers
 and that she would be missed very, very much.

 So what does that motherless fuck do?
 What did this no-conscience shit-eater do after he gets this note?
 What did the dickless hermorphadite, scum-sucking mongrel dog do?
 How did this cock-sucker react to Clinton reaching out to him?

 He writes another column.

 Now, ask yourself where this story COULD be going.
 Wrong, it's not going anywhere like where it should be going.

 Sidebar:
 This column was important, and I wanted to get it perfect,
 so I asked Mrs. BartCop to transcribe the entire article for me.
 When my hard drive crashed in March, I lost the column, so I'm going on memory.

 This shit-for-brains, yellow-bellied ass-licker wrote this:

 "After the death of my sister, I was surprised to get a personal note from the president.
  After all the things I had written about him and his lack of morals and ethics, and what
  a dispicable bastard he was, the man took time out from his busy schedule to write me
  a personal note. This was very unexpected. The president didn't need to send me this
  note of condolence, especially after all the terrible things I'd written about him.
  I was very surprised to hear anything from the White House, much less getting a
  beautiful, hand-written note,"  the dirty, rotten son-of-a-bitch said.

 Sidebar:
 At this point, you'd expect to read something like,
 Maybe I was wrong...
 Maybe I judged him too quickly.
 Maybe what I've heard isn't all true...
 Maybe there are two sides to every story...

 But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 The fucking bastard didn't say that.
 He didn't say anything like that.

 You know what he said?

 He said,

"It just proves that no matter how evil and horrible a man truly is,
  no matter how many women he's raped, beaten and destroyed,
  somewhere, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, even the most vile of vicious
  scumbag rapists must have a sliver of decency buried in there somewhere."
 

 <BartCop applies cold, wet towel to forehead...>

 I've said this a dozen times:
 Besides cheating on his wife, Clinton is a much bigger man than me.
 If they told me Ben Stein's sister died, I'd say, "He's a lying prick bastard."
 But Clinton is so much better then that.

 He picks up a goddamn pen and writes a Stein-admits "wonderful, personal note"
 that was meant for Stein's eyes only. That note wasn't written to be released to the public.
 Only Stein could do that, right?

 This wasn't some PR scam Clinton was pulling, unless he KNEW the cock-sucker would
 stab him in the back, and others would call him on it someday, like I'm doing now.
 Even Bill Clinton isn't that smart, right?

 So Stein uses that intensely personal note of condolence to attack Clinton again!

 So fuck you, you little worm of a worthless, small human being.
 When you were down, when you were saddened by the death of a loved one,
 a better man than you or me offered his hand in silent friendship.

 And what did you do?
 You shit on his hand and ran and told your friends about it, you dirty cunt.
 I'll bet you pushed your mother out of the way to get to your computer faster
 so you could write another lying, slanderous column about a decent man.


      Fuck Ben Stein


 Note: This is not the big BartCop story.
 That big, big story will be published soon.
 I've decided to run it  before  the convention, because there'll be too much
 going on with Humpty Dumpty and I don't want this story stepped on.

 From: (withheld)

 Hello from Saint Ambrose!

 Here in heaven, where I am, I have a good view of Mexico.
 Normally, I would  not intervene in an election,
 but the godlessness of G. W. Bush has offended me.

 First, Catholics do go to heaven.

 Second, during several of George W. Bush's lost weekends in Mexico,
 during what he called his young and irresponsible days,
 he fathered a number of illegitimate children with various women
 whose lives were not as full of promise and possibility as his.

 Two of these children now reside illegally in the United States.
 Fortunately, one of the women was able to document her encounter
 with the presidential candidate in a manner that I will not detail,
 because she will shortly be discovered by the media.

 All I can say is: It's not a blue dress this time.

 Saint Ambrose
 

 Whoooooooooo  Hoooooooo!
 I'll bet the senorita's "documentation" has brown eyes.

 ha ha

 Smirk, you earned this whippin' - every bit.


 Is this the most important column ever run on  bartcop.com?
 I think it is.

 This should be required reading.

 Click  Here

 ...and a shot of Chinaco for Joe Conason.


 That idiot Governor Huckabee of Arkansas has moved
 his wife and family into "the governor's mobile home."

 Click  Here

 Why didn't he just borrow a shanty from Smirk?


 


 Leno had a good one Tuesday night...

 "According to a new book, Hillary slurred the blacks and the Jews?
  Sounds like she'd make a better Republican."


 I saw that wimp Jeff Jacoby on Horrendo.
 He's going from Fox show to MSNBC, back to Fox, then CNBC,
 then back to Fox, then to Larry King, then back to Fox, then Talk Back Live,
 then back to Fox and he just won't shut up about getting caught.

 Remember that e-mail he sent me?

 When we had the old e-mail newsletter, Jacoby wrote "40 reasons to hate Clinton,"
 and 2 weeks later wrote, "Another 40 reasons to hate Clinton," so I answered each
 stupid charge and sent a copy to him.

 Back then, to get off the list, you had to send polite mail that said, "Nancy Reagan."

 I think out of alllllllllllll the people who asked to get off the list, I think Jacoby
 was the only was to actually write, "Nancy Reagan" in the subject line.

 ha ha


 I have a question.

 Years ago, the GOP ridiculed Clinton because the Secret Service recommended
 automobile access to buildings like the White House be restricted.

 I remember the GOP having a big problem with that.
 They said, "Clinton thinks he's a king. He's taken the people's house away.
 Clinton should give the people's house back to the people!"
 They called Clinton a "coward."

 So, if the governor wins, (ha ha) would he hide like a coward, behind the barracades?
 Or will he be giving the people's house back to the people?

 And could we have an answer right away?



 I have another question.
 It's a math question.

 A few days after this happens,
 

Caroline Kennedy to Address Party
 Wednesday July 19 12:13 AM ET

WASHINGTON (AP) - Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, the only surviving
member of the slain president's immediate family, will address next month's
Democratic National Convention.

Details, including when she will speak, have yet to be decided,
said Mark Fabiani, a spokesman for Vice President Al Gore.
Fabiani also could not indicate the topic of her remarks.

Schlossberg's brother, John F. Kennedy Jr., addressed the convention in 1988
to wild cheers as he recounted the legacy of his father and introduced his uncle Teddy.
That speech prompted speculation that he might enter politics himself, but he never ran
for office before he died last year in an airplane crash.

She has been careful about her turns in the political spotlight.
In 1992, for instance, she declined to serve as Democratic Convention chairwoman.

But she frequently appears in public in other capacities.
In May, she presented the annual John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award.

The Democrat National Convention is set for Aug. 14-17 in Los Angeles.
President Clinton and Hillary are scheduled to speak opening night.
 

So my question is,

...will Gore's bounce be single or double digits?

ha ha

Have we ever seen Caroline give a rousing speech?
Does the "last Kennedy" have that Kennedy magic?

What if she has a big night?
What if she has a big, big night?
How high is up?
What if Caroline bursts forward with her father's charisma?

ha ha
Poor Smirk.

Who's the most magical guy on their side this time around?

Colin Powell?
Hell, he's pro-choice and pro-affirmative action.
And he's the hit of their convention?

ha ha

How many nights will Smirk Daddy get to speak?
Ever?
Will George Washington make an appearance, too?

...and after the elephant takes it's big dump,
the Democrats will take the sunny stage in Los Angeles.

Bill and Hillary open the show Monday night,
with the most electrifying first night in convention history.

Jesse will have a great speech, and so will his son.

Tuesday or Werdnesday, Caroline blows the roof off the dump!

Then Gore closes the whole show screaming like a circuit preacher.

ha ha

Poor Smirk.


 From:  kfaull@earthlink.net

 Subject: WHATEVER

 Why are liberals like you so nasty, lewd and rude?
 by the way, you have a picture of a car in a garage.....
 above it reads  "George W. Bush 1972" and
 below is "suspect's vehicle found at the marker home"

 That car was backed into to a garage not driven forward by a stray drunk

 ha ha
 A stray drunk?
 Make him stop!

 The snow indicates this place is nowhere near Texas where George W. lives
 The construction of the houses is obviously much newer than 1972
 and the car is a late 80's Buick not yet built in 1972!

 ha ha
 Somebody pinch me!

 GEORGE BUSH NEVER GOT A DWI
 OR THE NEWS MEDIA WOULD BE ALL OVER IT.
 YOU ARE A LIAR.

 It just one example of a dozen lies and twisted "facts" on your page

 This picture like so much of the stuff on your site is nothing but
 a lie placed to make a politician look bad at the cost of  truth.

 ha ha

 ...you mean people do that?

 ha ha

 You are a foul mouthed liar!
 When the wicked crucify the innocent mercy triumphs and truth over powers lies.
 NO WONDER YOU LIKE CLITNONI

 Kendall Faull
 

 Clitnoni?

 ha ha
 Make him stop!



 July 17-18, 2000

 I'm getting Vegas fever again.


 

Taqueria Cononita

Flash back with me, if you will

Heaven on Earth is pulling at me, ...pulling.
The only time I've been to Heaven, it was a surprise.
Mrs. BartCop's touring sedan was getting a mudbath,
and we were expecting a call any time with the damage estimate,
and we had no idea that Tequila Heaven was inside the Venetian Hotel
so we weren't able to explore the tequilas like we like to.

Remember, they have the special, and unlike most specials,
this special is really damn special.

They'll let you try four 1/3 ounce shots for only $9.
My mouth is watering like crazy as I type this.

Will we discover a new champ?
Koresh, I hope not.
That Herradura Ultra-Supremo Reserve is $250 a bottle.
Let's hope it blows, eh?

Oh, the fever...


 From:  astod@frontiernet.net

 Subject: marriage penalty

 dear bartcop,

 even though this tax cut is a sham, i think that clinton should sign it
 and stick it to the republicans during their convention,
 then gore can blast them for not doing anything on health care.

 ann stoddard
 

 Ann,
 It's nice to know the situation is in the hands of The Master.
 Clinton will do what's best for him, Gore, Democrats and Americans.

 Worry not.


 A Mountain of Horseshit

 Pigboy says the "fucking Jew bastard" is willing to take a lie detector test.
 He says he'll take one if Hillary takes one.

 This establishes a great precedent.

 If Smirk were to win, (I know, I know) I will immediately accuse him of having
 anal sex with Justice Clarence Thomas, the smartest black man on the bench.

 Will Smirk take a lie detector test and deny it?

 And can we all have tapes of Smirk, wired to the max,
 denying he's ever had an intimate relationship with Slappy's ass?

 Great idea, Pigboy!
 Keep pushing that great idea, too.

 Drag every goddamn thing into the Fox Whore gutter.


 Can anybody tell me the difference between Napster and FM radio?

 In every city I've ever lived, the hip FM station played albums
 in their entirety on Sundays so people could record them.
 The cool DJ's even gave you a five second silent start.

 Lars never opened his mouth about that - why?
 What's the difference?


 Wouldn't you think, by definition, anyone who writes a book
 on someone else's marriage is a money-grubbing, whore scumbag?

 I don't care if it's the goddamn upstairs maid.

 Nobody knows what goes on between two people.


 Now Rush is talking about smokers.

 He says the smokers knew 30 years ago that tobacco kills.
 (I guess he's forgetting the famous Congressional testimony.)

 When the Florida verdict was announced, the first thing ABC News said was,
 "This will really hurt the poor tobacco farmers."

 Excuse me, but if Rush is telling the truth, (snicker) haven't the tobacco farmers
 known for 30 years that they were raising a product that kills people?


 Stroke me, Stroke Me

 "Here's a clip from 1996 where Clinton denies having
  sexual intercourse with Monica Lewinsky."
 

 1996, Rush?
 Are you sure?
 Are you sure it was 1996, Rush?
 Are you sure your mind isn't failing you?

 ...maybe you need to untie the other half of your brain,


 Great Pig Quotes

 "That woman wanted me dead."
  -- Don Imus, ridiculing a "Get Well" card from Hillary.
 

  Fuck you, Imus.
  We all wanted you dead.

  Quack! Quack!


 The Kinsley Traitor and Slate

 Click  Here


 Subject: Keating Supports Lead Poisoning

 Hey, Oklahoma, Vice-President Elect Keating doesn't want that evil
 federal government coming in and interfering with your God-given right
 to poison your children with whatever toxic waste you choose.

 Clean up the lead, and your kids might start thinking they're smarter than you!
 Might start votin' Democrat!

 Didn't Al Gore say he was responsible for that evil Superfund law?
 That man'll say ANYTHING to get elected.

 Click  Here


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 After saying over and over, "if Hillary said that..."
 Rush went to a commercial and came back saying,

 "The liberals KNOW she said this,
  they KNOW she's guilty and they're just covering for her."

  But Pigboy!
 Before the commercial, you said it was an "if" situation.
 What changed during that commercial?


 Rush continues to blame the government for high gas prices.

 Even with oil company profits up as much as 500 percent,
 Rush says to look past that and focus on the environmental causes.
 (Rush, tell us how their profits went up 500 percent if all they did
  was pass the tax onto the consumer - please!)

 But,

 In the next breath, Rush will say we don't need the new, cleaner gas
 "because the air is getting cleaner every year."

 Duh!

 Maybe it's the environmentalists and their "wacko ideas"
 that are causing the air and water to get cleaner every year,
 cleaner every year except for Texas, that is...

 Speaking of clean air...
  How is the air in Houston today?

 According to the USA Today, page 14A,
 the Houston air is UNHEALTHY!

 Doctors advise people "to stay indoors" if you're a Texan.

 Please. Smirk, can you make all the air look this way?


 Pigboy just started here in Knuckledrag.

 He wants to know why the Washington Whore Post is always talking about Nixon's
 racial slurs since they happened long ago. But somehow, he sees Hillary getting
 a pass on her racial slurs (as tho 24/7/52 coverage was a "pass")

"What's the difference?" he asks.

 Hey, Pigboy!

 The difference is - drum roll, please -Nixon said it!

 The people accusing Hillary have a new book coming out.
 Let me ask you a question.

 Let's say this new book has what, 300 pages?
 The ONLY thing newsworthy in this book is the ALLEGATION
 by the Clinton haters that Hillary called someone "a fucking Jew bastard."

 Here's my question:

 What's on the other 299 pages?

 If you're familiar with a democratic tool called "subtraction," do the math!
 If you take away the ALLEGATION, there's no book.

 If there was anything else in the book, why haven't we heard it?
 The book is one allegation - and it'll sell like Dick Morris's loyalty.

 Worth Repeating:

Dear Hillary,

This letter has taken me some 23 years to come to the point that I must
apologize for my actions toward you ...
Now, just in the last three years, as a result of a number of interviews have
I concluded that I am wrong, that I was wrong and that I have wronged you;
I ask for your forgiveness because I did say things against you, and called you
names not only to your face -- but behind your back ... At one time in my life
I would say things without thinking, without factual foundation and without
rhyme or remedy unless it furthered my own agenda ...

[My wife] has met with the FBI and some of Ken Starr's investigators and
...she always makes it quite clear that you are a person of the most high integrity."

That was written by the current slur-master and, big surprise,
Rush and the Fox News Whores believe every word of it..


 From:  lwireman@mis.net

 Subject: Repub Scum

 It appears the repubs are putting out all forms of trash daily on
 Hillary, Gore and any other Democrat. Are the Democrat party and you
 going to sit by and allow this to continue without firing back?

 It's times like this when I wish I had some power.
 If I was a Clinton-hater, opportunities would be endless.

 When are we going to hear of Smirks follies and othe repub scandals?

 We're still a little bit early.
 As the conventions get closer, the timing will be better.
 I can't guarantee the press will go after Smirk,
 but they will if they're still gutter-whores, so it's a safe bet.

 Or are Democrats the pussies I think they are?

 Yes, they are.
 Bet the house on that.
 There's no better word in the whole dictionary to describe the Democrats.
 Clinton was the one who taught them how to fight, and they still haven't learned.

 Clinton is like Buster Douglas.
 If you want to beat Mike Tyson, just watch what Buster did to him in Japan.
 Tyson was always a paper chump, ready to crumble the first time a jab
 got flicked into his face. Any decent big man could make Tyson dance
 if they just follow the Buster Douglas blueprint - same for Clinton.

 Gore is on the right side of the issues AND he's got the greatest economy
 in history and he's tied with some unqualified idiot - what a joke!
 What kind of man hires a woman for $10,000 a month to dress him?

 The democrat bashing starts with Imus, continues on the networks, the
 Murdocks press and never stops.

 Dick, in Flying Monkey Land

 Oh, the bashing will never stop, but we could fight back a little.
 We still have Joe Conason, James Carville, Harold Ickes and some others,
 but the Democratic party is mostly a skirt-wearing, white wine and brie bunch.

 We're fighting gun-toting Cro-Mags with our pinkies extended.


 GOP Unveils Convention Schedule

 Monday - Pickles and Powell Night.

 Smirk's wife and Gen Colin Powell will talk about what it's like
 to grow up under the thumb of the rich, white slavemaster.

 Tuesday - Uterus Night

 Condoleeza Rice, Dole's Bag O' Hairspray and former man John McCain
 will talk about women's problems and why it's better to submit than be equal.

 Wednesday - Prosperity Night

 Bill Clinton is scheduled to explain how he did it.
 Wait - that can't be right, can it?

 Thursday - Wimper & Squeal Night for Smirk

 This is the night after the day when Smirk-o-rama starts to fall.
 This is the night he gives the "speech of his life."

 Will he call for fewer terriers and barrifs?


 Here's something

 Click  Here


Cunningham - with the big hit!

Yes, one of these speakers is pro-Slaver flag in Carolina.
Yes, one of these speakers is the son of "Willie Horton."
Yes, one of these speakers kills blacks like I kill shots of Chinaco.
Yes, one of these speakers has multiple DWIs and a cocaine arrest.
Yes, one of these speakers called Al Hunt "mother-fucker" in front of his child.
Yes, one of these speakers smirks when he says he can't remember the name
        of a man he had murdered only a hundred days ago, "without my dossier."

Yes, one of these speakers is Humpty Dumpty,
and all of Daddy's money can't put this presidential bid together..

Remember, they say it takes three elections for a party to get the hint.


 More Jew Bastard Stuff

 Fox Whore News is treating this just like Joe Conason said they would.

 It was on every show last night - O'Reilly, then Hannity, then Paula Von Zahn.
 Tonight, the author of the remark will be on Hannity, I think.
 Wednesday night, the same Bozo will be on Paula.
 For sure, the same Bozo will be on O'Reilly Thursday, and all the time,
 they'll be asking, "Does this story have legs?"

 Go figure, last night Chris the Screamer said, "As much as I hate Hillary's
 fucking guts till the end of time, I don't think she's even a little bit racist."

 Thanks, Chris.

 I have something in common with Hillary on this one.
 I'll bet she's always getting mail addressed to "the nigger-lover,"
 and she still has to defend herself against false ethnic slurs.

 Speaking of "fucking Jew bastards," did you see Dick Morris on Hannity last night?
 Hannity had on one of those stab-in-the-back Arkansas troopers.
 He said Bill & Hillary both were constantly "nigger this and Jew bastard that,"
 and he said a dozen people would back him up, but they were afraid they'd
 lose their state jobs if they talked.

 Since Arkansas has a religiously-insane ditto-monkey governor,
 (remember this is the guy who held up tornado funds because state law said they were to be
 used for "Acts of God," and Huckabee said HIS God would never send a tornado to Arkansas)
 it was never made clear how Clinton would have them fired.

 Morris went on a hardon-driven crusade to get both Clintons.

 He said he would broker a deal to have the DM Governor (his former client) to guarantee
 the Dirty Dozen their state jobs if they went on Hannity and accused Bill and Hillary of
 constantly saying, "Nigger this and Jew that."

 So, look for a whole team of troopers to be on Hannity soon.
 But don't forget, these scumbags have already admitted that Scaife paid them $80,000
 to fabricate quotes about Clinton - just ask David Brock.

 Hannity was so goddamn excited at the prospect he started to hyper-ventilate.
 That pitiful excuse for a debater, Alan Colmes was off last night,
 so Fox Whore News found a pitifully-poor substitute to wet noodle for him.

The closest thing to good news was knowing that
the Sword of Damacles is going to be falling - soon.


 (picture alert)

 Speaking of $80,000...

 We all know that Smirk is more stupid than Dan Quayle stoned,
 but what if that wasn't the case?

 What if Smirk merely had the unfair reputation of being dumber than shit?
 What if the ONLY reason people thought Smirk was that stupid was because
 that Boston journalist quizzed him about world leaders.

 ...and what would the right-wingers think if it later came out that some rich
 Democrat paid that Boston journalist $80,000 to LIE about that quiz?
 What would the bullshit religious whores like Falwell and Robertson et al. say
 if Smirk's reputation was tarnished by a Democrat paid-for lie?

 You always have to remember the name David Brock.
 Brock now admits he was paid $80,000 by Scaife to go to Arkansas.
 Brock now admits Scaife paid another $80,000 to the troopers if they
 would tell Brock false stories about Clinton and women.

 This is what started Paula Jones's Cock Hunt.
 That begat Susan Carpenter McWhore.
 That begat Monica.
 That begat Linda Tripp.
 That begat Luci the Bat.
 That begat Matt Drudge.
 That begat Hardon Kenneth Starr
 That begat impeachment.
 That begat Juanita Brodderrick.

 Alllllllllllllllllllllllll  because Scaife paid David Brock to write a false story.

 Remember that.

 Also, remember that the GOP bet their careers on the "good word" of Paula Jones


 From:  efestag@mail.alac.org
 To: rush@eibnet.com

 Subject: International healthcare comparison

 Rush:

 Sweden spends about 7 percent of its GNP on healthcare and 100 percent of
 the population is covered. In the U.S. it's about 14 percent and rising and
 more than 44 million are without insurance.
 PLEASE RESPOND.

 Eckhard Festag
 

 No telling what Rush would say, but I'll tell you why that is.

 You know how I'm always saying the GOP would rather have our soldiers die
 under a president like Reagan than have them come home under Clinton?
 It's the same with health care.

 Sweden has health care with an "S" in it, and that's bad.
 The GOP would rather pay for $60 aspirins and let the poor die
 than let people use the ...what did Smirk call it?

 Oh, yeah, "...the power of group purchasing."

 The GOP is so extreme, if they fell off a swordfishing boat in the North Atlantic
 they'd rather drown than be thrown a socialist rope.


 George W. Bush, 1972


 From: ajcortez@yahoo.com

 Subject: Messed up

 BC,

 Is it just me or are the people in this story truly
 and royally screwed up?

 AJC

 Click  Here


 From: lyingpig@mail.rushonline.com

 Subject: You ARE gay!

 You ARE gay....I knew it.

 >When she says, "some people just don't want to hear the truth," she can't be
 >referring to gays and lesbians.

 >-- Joan Gerry, Executive Director, GLAAD

 If you think the radical gay agenda is speaking the truth you might want to
 lower that I.Q. rating (68?) you're always bragging about. Or maybe you need
 America's "Truth Detector" to give you the straight skinny on the gay agenda.

 LyingPig
 

 LyingPig,

 I wish you would've stated your case, instead of name-calling.

 I don't see anything "radical" about asking the "doctor" to stop mixing
 Republican homophobia with pseudo-science and religious horseshit.

 Maybe someday we'll have a debate,
 instead of these drive-by attacks you seem to prefer...


  Quotable

"Laura plays fast and loose with pseudoclinical rhetoric and nonempirical statistics,
 (mostly from political rather than credible medical sources) to portray lesbians and
 gays as "biological errors."   The fact that she is not medically qualified to make
 such claims is dodged by her "deeply felt religious convictions."

 She not only seems unable to choose whether to espouse science or faith
 but also mixes an indefensible concoction of both and passes it off as truth.

 When she says, "some people just don't want to hear the truth,"
 she can't be referring to gays and lesbians.

  -- Joan Gerry, Executive Director, GLAAD


 The "Death Tax"

 Clinton is expected to veto the GOP bill.
 Full-time traitor and former-ally Mike Kinsley has a decent article on why.

 Click  Here


 From:  ranting_wacko@hotmail.com

 Subject: Dave is still the King!

 Dave Letterman got a good line tonight. They were doing a bit where they
 were suggesting potential VP candidates for Gore and Bush.

 Dave suggested that Warren Beatty as a Bush VP because "he has just as much
 experience as Bush at screwing people over but leaving them smiling."


 Smirk and the Racist Past of the GOP

 Click  Here



 Great Nazi Quotes

 "These...are...very...very...serious charges against the First Lady."
    -- Sean Hannity, Murdoch's butterboy
 

 Gee, Sean, would they be more serious than Lott and Barr's involvement in the CCC?



 Joe Conason on the "Jew Bastard"

 Click  Here


 Heard it on the Street

 "Growing up, we were so poor that if I hadn't been a boy,
   I wouldn't have had anything to play with."


 From:  dave_pittman@yahoo.com

 Subject: Re: Landover Baptist Church?

 Why do you want a feud with them?
 Is it because they are so much funnier than your site?
 They are you know.

 Your idea of humor seems to have been reduced to nasty and unimaginative name calling.
 What's funny about that?
 It is what children do so automatically.
 The first time someone is called a name it might be or at least can be funny if it is
 unexpected and somewhat creative but after the first time it is boring and stupid.

 It is one of the many points of parallel between you and Rush.
 You are two peas at opposite ends of the pod.

 Dave Pittman



 More "Jew Bastard" Quotes

 "Those Clinton's ...always trying to put the blame on someone else."
 

 From the man whose last quote was,
 " I didn't write my fund-raising letters - somebody else did."


 Poll: Gore Closes Gap Against Smirk
  By Keating Holland/CNN     July 17, 2000

 WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Capitalizing on gains among women and independents,
 Al Gore has closed the gap against Bush, according the latest CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll.

 If the November election were held today, 48 percent of likely voters would choose Bush
 and 46 percent would pick Gore. A week ago, Bush led 50 percent to 41 percent lead.


 From:  nyokie@freewwweb.com

 Subject: hillary is the nazi whore think about it

 Steve Dance


 About 100 days ago, Smirk gave the go-ahead to murder a man in Texas.
 When asked about the details, Smirk said he couldn't remember the man.
 Funny, I remember all the men I've killed...

 Here's what Smirk asked Cokie to do:

 Click Here

 He said that shit with a smile, too.
 Cokie pressed on a little, but she didn't want to ruffle the governor,
 so she let him off after he said this.

 Click  Here

 Poor Smirk - completely lost without his dossier...

 Cokie asked Smirk what "Job Number One" would be for his administration.

 Click  Here

 Then, Smirk invents a brand-new word - just for Cokie!

 Click  Here

 How do you spell "unright?"

  ...and the last clip from Sunday Smirk...

 Click  Here

 I thought it was particularly idiotic for Smirk to bring up Vietnam,
 since one of the men in this race went to Nam and held a gun...
 while the other remained safely in Texas where he held a silver coke spoon.



 The Most Corrupt Administration?
 I think we have a contender, and it's not Nixon's.

 Click  Here


 From: btaylor1@nycap.rr.com

 Subject: Anne and Cokie shits of a feather

 Ann Coulter is a not so closet racist. The reason she did not play
 "harridan" in New York is she wasn't sure she could win.

 As for "Cokie" the only places she is qualified to speak on is Louisiana
 (she is a David Duke Homey) and the Senate Cloakroom where
 she learned every thing from her late dad.

Benjamin J. Taylor




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