Vol 238 - Think They Bought it?

 August 4, 2000

 The Philadelphia Story - Final Chapter

 Click Here

 ...and a special "Thank You" to Christian Mitchell for
 putting up with the elements,
 putting up with possible arrest,
 putting up with rude, greedy Republicans,
 putting up with not being able to get on the GOP Booze Train,
 just to file these special reports for you, the reader.

 A shot of Chinaco for Christian Mitchell, film producer

 By the way...

 El Pigbo is at Busch Stadium tomorrow, (that's Busch with a "C")
 hurling out the first pitch. The game is on FOX, so everyone should get it.

 Not only that, but St Louis is playing Atlanta, so it should be
 on TBS or TNT or whoever carries Braves games.

 Why should you watch?

 It's Battery Day!

 I'm pretty sure Clinton carried Missouri both times,
 so when they introduce the Nazi whore,
 you may get an accurate poll representing his notoriety.

 If all we hear are cheers, we can blame strategic placement of the
 microphone so the Cardinal's guest isn't embarrassed like he should be.

 The game starts at NOON CST.
 (For  bartcop.com  readers in Hungary, South Africa, Netherlands, Sweden, Argentina, Italy, Ireland, Austria, Germany,
  Australia, Belgium, Denmark,  Finland, United Kingdom, and Mexico, check your local listings for the correct time.)

 You don't have to watch the whole thing.
 Just try to catch the public's reaction to a real, live Nazi puta.
 Just watch from 11:55 to 12:05.

 If you dial up  bartcop.com  Monday, and see a screen grab of
 that lying bastard laying on the ground, bleeding from a head wound
 from a rusty "D" battery, you'll say, "Damn, I wish I'd seen that live."

 From: (Can't Tell)

 Subject: Great GOP Quote

 BC -

 On KMOX Radio this morning, some reporter they sent to Philly was doing a
 wrap-up of the Rainbow Republican Convention, and was talking to
 Congresscritter Roy Blunt (R-Whitetrash, MO) and the subject of Smirk's
 intellect came up.

 Blunt said, more or less: "you don't want to have your leader be the
 smartest guy in the room" .


 Why would you want a president that is so dependent on other people's brains
 that he can't decide things on his own?

 Why WOULDN'T you want a leader who can take advice, listen to information
 and then make a decision that everybody KNOWS is good because he's the
 smartest SOB they ever met?

 Why WOULDN'T you want the smartest guy available?
 What possible advantage is it to have an intellectual lightweight on the job?

 Sounds to me like they're already trying to cover their mistakes.

 SteveW in St. Louis

 You going to the Cardinal's game tomorrow?

 If I was to, ...uh. buy the batteries, and, ...uh, ...



  from the mind of BrainSmasher

 Click Here

 Smirk Speaks With Forked Tongue

 If you had trouble understanding what Smirk said last night,
 I've found a universal translator like they use on Star Trek.


 Cheney Caught Telling Big Fat Lie

 Contrary to the overly emotional picture painted by Snarl in his speech
 at Nazi-Con 2000  there are no crosses in Arlington National Cemetery.

 The Snarl closed his big speech with a moving description of the helicopter ride
 he used to take from Andrews Air Force Base to the Pentagon when he was
 Secretary of  Defense, covering for Smirk daddy's foreign policy fuck ups.

 He described the emotional power of the various monuments of Washington,
 in the order the chopper flys over them,
 ending with the famous military cemetery that abuts the Pentagon.

 "Just before you settle down on the landing pad, you look upon Arlington
 National Cemetery...its gentle slopes and crosses row on row," Cheney said.
 "I never once made that trip without being reminded how enormously fortunate
 we all are to be Americans, and what a terrible price thousands have paid so
 that all of us...and millions more around the world...might live in freedom."

 But Cheney's memory is as sound as his heart.
 The graves in Arlington are marked with white headstones, rounded at the top.

 Sorry Dick

 Subject: Totally Psycho

 From:  VALERIE002@aol.com

 I saw this on the MSNBC Current News Bulletin Board tonight...
 This guy is totally psycho though, but then again, aren't most Republicans?
 Wondering how you would have responded.



 In the enclosure Valerie sent, some guy rants on and on with about
 10,000 of those same, old allegations we've all heard 10,000 times.

 How would I respond?
 I'd point to the Barry Switzer Factor, (formerly "Most Ethical Administration")
 explained above

 Until a single felony guilty plea or felony verdict come in,
 it's ABSOLUTE PROOF that Clinton is more ethical than Reagan/Bush.
 On top of that, Clinton hasn't given or accepted any pardons, and you
 have to go back to IKE to find a GOP administration that can say the same.

 Sure, you can stomp and spit and shout, but facts are facts.

 Great Smirk Quotes

  I didn't -- I swear I didn't -- get into politics
  to feather my nest or feather my friends' nests.
     -- Smirk-o-Rama, in the Houston Chronicle

 Subject:  The New Republicans ?

 From:   justDerek@webtv.net

   After twelve years of the Reagan-Bush era, and six years of Newt's
 insane ditto-monkey controlled congress, we're supposed to believe that
 the Nazi right wing has transformed into a "kinder-gentler" Nazi right wing,
 who embraces all minorities, the elderly, gays  and everybody else
 they've had a fun time beating up on?

  The shots of minorities,disabled people and children adoringly gazing
 at Smirk during the convention was sickening, too. It was almost like
 a perverse version of the movie "The Lion King", where the antelope,
 cheerfully singing, line up to be the lions' next hot lunch.

   I found it particularly enraging when Smirk offered to "take off the gloves,"
 so to speak, because he didn't like some of the comments the Democrats
 had made lately. After eight years of some of the most vile, non-stop,
 mad dog, foaming-at-the-mouth, dirty, underhanded tactics ever seen in
 politics were dumped on the Clinton-Gore administration  by the GOP,
 Smirk is going to take off the gloves?

 Better keep your mouth piece in, Smirk!!


 ha ha

 Let's get in on!

 Remember, backback is a bigger bitch than Lynn Cheney.

 Subject:  The Most Ethical Administration in History
 From:  ephonk@niceturtles.com

 Dude, I NEED numbers and sources to back this stuff up!
 I can't argue things like this with the goobers at work
 if I can't cite facts, figures and sources.

 The thing that pisses me off the MOST about being a leftie is that we can't
 ever seem to get ORGANIZED.  Every site I go to (like yours) is filled
 little more than rants (like yours - magnificent tho they are...).

 These are great for blowing off steam,
 To do that, I need good, solid, factual arguments with authoritative sources
 that I can cite for reference.

 THIS is why the Repellicants keep KICKING OUR ASSES - because they're organized!
 They may be quoting bogus statistics, but they're consistent.
 They ALL quote the SAME bogus statistics.

 Sorry for the rant, but please - where the hell can I find the stats to back
 up the "The Most Ethical Administration in History" story?

 J. Yaeger

 J, relax.

 You're going about this all wrong.

 Always remember this:
 The strong take from the weak,
 and the smart take from the strong.

 You back the guy with zero felonies.
 You don't have to do any work at all.

 I can only tell you how I'd handle it:
 First, I'd pour a shot of Chinaco Anejo.
 Then I'd hand-roll a small cigarette.
 I'd do the shot, then take a looong, smooooth drag off the fattie,
 then I'd show those goobers at work this jpg.

 That takes care of Reagan and Bush.
 Then remind them that G. Gordon Liddy alone has six felonies.
 He brags about it all the time on his radio show.
 That takes care of the Nixon Administration, and Ford
 pardoned him so we'd never know how deep it went.

 Then I'd do another shot of fine, luxury tequila,
 take another looong smoooth drag off the fattie,
 and ask them to put similar proof of Clinton's guilt in my hand.

 ha ha

 It's so fucking easy when you're on the right side.

 Got a free afternoon?


 Zogby's Always Right, right?

 Click Here

 Zogby, who Rush says is "Always right," shows

 Smirk with  41 %
 Gore  with  38 %

 This is as of 7/31, "pre-bounce."

 Subject:  Smirk-speech

 From:  rwf2468@worldnet.att.net

 This guy is Eddie Haskell personified.

 "Golly, Mrs. Cleaver.. I would never do ANYTHING
  that would harm our precious natural resources."

 Sorry Smirk.
 That record you so love to brag about tells us otherwise.
 This line alone will guarantee that Smirk gets at least one vote
 from both California and New York... Leno and Letterman.


 Worth Repeating...

 "He's probably the least qualified person ever to be nominated
 by a major party.  Yes, he was elected governor of Texas, and before that
 he ran a baseball team and lost a lot of other people's money in the oil business.

 But what has happened in the intervening five years to make people believe
 he'd be a good president?   What is his accomplishment?

 That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?"

 "The defining moment for me was his Karla Faye Tucker smirk,
 joking about a woman he would put to death. No adult would ever do that.
 It wouldn't even cross the mind of a grown-up to joke about something like that."

  --Ron Reagan

 Saw it in some e-mail:

 Celibacy in 2000:
 No Bush-No Dick

 Great Idiot Smirk Quotes

 I wish I knew the law,
 that would make people love one another,
 ...I would sign it.

  ...that idiot, today.

 An Open Letter to the Snarl
   by James Higdon, Online Journal

 Link to Online Journal

 Permanant link, after OnlineJournal pulls it

 Subject: Smirk Speech

   From: sniper@cei.net

  Is there anywhere I can get a copy of last night's speech?
  I want to keep a list of all those promises.

 Today's USA Today, Page 8A.

 By the way, I've been too busy to check lately,
 but yes,
 Houston's air is STILL rated UNHEALTHY!

 Lars Erik Nelson Hits a Triple

 See all those black faces on the podium at the Republican convention?
 Five months ago, they would have had a hard time voting in the Carolina primary.

 Click Here

 The Boston Globe printed a "Do it Yourself" GOP Convention

Thanks to mopaul.com

 Subject:  Paying off the Debt First

   From:  Marc Perkel

 It's interesting to see the Democrats and Republicans stealing each other's
 political ideas this year. While the Republicans are touting "Compassionate
 Conservatism" the Democrats are considering a "Contract with America" type
 strategy in committing to pay of the national debt by the end of the decade.
 The idea being that if America elects Al Gore and a Democratic congress,
 they will pay off the national debt by 2010.

 I personally like this idea and wish the Republican Party would make the
 same commitment. The children of the baby boomers are going to have a hard
 time paying for Medicare and Social Security and paying the interest on
 the debts left over from the 1980s at the same time. The only way these
 programs are going to be affordable is if we pay off the national debt first.

 Paying off the national debt first may be the winning issue for the Democrats
 because its an issue that had broad appeal crossing party lines, racial
 lines, and religious lines. Paying off the national debt shows fiscal responsibility
 and strengthens the economy. Even the most conservative of  Republicans
 would have a hard time resisting the appeal of a debt free America.
 I'm afraid that if the Republicans stay with tax cuts for the rich and
 don't match the Democrats commitment to pay of the national debt first,
 that the Democrats will score a big win in this fall's election.

 Editor's Note:
 You ever notice how Perkel's letters are always to the point,
 they don't attack anybody and it's always a common sense?

 No wonder he gets published so much.

 Forced Genital Fondling

 Laura the Martyr had a hissy fit yesterday over "forced genital fondling"
 of five-year olds in Knuckledrag, Oklahoma.

 Funny, I read the paper here, I've never heard of this.

 The Martyr said she had a link on her Web Site of Hate, so I searched.

 Found it.

 Well, I found an editorial, not a news story.
 Gee, look who the author is - John Whitehead.
 Is this the same Paula Jones lawyer from the Rutherford Prostitute?
 The same guy who went after Clinton's cock?
 Why is he writing editorials about children's genitalia?
 Does he only take cases that involve a penis?

 Of course, when you read the story, he failed to mention what schools
 were involved, making it pretty goddamn hard to track down, so I called
 the Tulsa World, the heavily-Republican (is there another kind?) paper
 and talked to a Wayne Green.

 He said there was "an element of truth" to the story.
 He said if it happened, it happened "two or three" years ago,
 and what exactly happened isn't clear. I guess it's hard to get an accurate
 account when dealing with children between the ages of three and five.

 Wait a minute.

 Do three, four and five-year olds go to school?
 I started school when I was five, but I was an "exceptional" child.
 How many three year olds are in public schools?
 What the fuck is this story about, anyway?

 I remember when I was in Catholic grade school, we had "forced"
 physicals where the doctor grabbed your balls, (if you had any)
 and asked you to cough. Sure, I remember a little terror being involved,
 but when you're a kid, almost everything is scary, right?

 Anyway, the lying, slut-whore, Queen of Hate Radio made it sound
 like this was an ongoing, everyday part of life in Knuckledrag.


 Why did she even bring up the subject if it "alledgedly" happened
 two or three years ago?

 Because Dick Cheney voted against Head Start years ago, and the She-thing
 wants everyone to know that Head Start is full of perverted adults who can't have
 normal sexual relations so they travel around the counrty kidnapping pre-pubes
 and forcably stripping and fondling them to get their jollies, all, of course,
 with the expressed backing of the Bill and Hillary devils.

 That's why everyone should vote for the Smirk and the Snarl.
 ...and if you DON'T vote for the Smirk & the Snarl, it most likely means
 you have an underlying, latent urge to travel the country and kidnap young
 children and forcably fondle their genitals, you sick bartards!


 Laura, why don't you take your big Black & Decker vibrator,
 yeah, the one with the kick start, and a pile of biker magazines
 and rent yourself a quiet no-tell motel room and get yourself off.

 The country would really appreciate it.

 Subject:  Fiscal Resposibility and Tequila

   From: Tim_Ebben@edm1.com

 Haven't tried Chinaco Anejo due to budget concerns
 (its $50 a bottle in Cincinnati),
 but was wondering if you've tried El Tesoro Anejo.

 It's 'only' $30 a bottle, is made from 100% blue agave,
 and seems to have the wonderful non-Cuervo winelike qualities
 that you rave about Chinaco having.

 Just a thought.


 No problem with El Tesoro.
 It's a little "fruity" for my tastes, tho.
 (No slur intended for gay readers of  bartcop.com)
 However, it is 100% blue agave, so it's very real.

 Obviously, budget concerns count.
 One can't drink Chinaco Anejo every day (sob!)

 Tell you what: Your next birthday, or New Year's, anniversary, whatever,
 buy a bottle of El Tesoro and a bottle of God's Nectar.
 Take a sip of the El Tesoro, then a shot of room temperature water.
 Then do a shot of the Chinaco Anejo.

 Now, don't throw the El Tesoro away!
 It's still good for margaritas.

 ha ha

 Of course, it's just a matter of personal taste.
 You could well prefer the El Teroso, no crime there.

 One of the most fascinating things I've read lately is the connesiuer (sp)
 descriptions of the different tequilas. Each fine, luxury lequila has 6-8
 hints of weird flavors in them, such as pear, apple, pepper, etc.

 Don't know if I already mentioned this, but for the really important things,
 it's best to err on the side of caution.  The last two nights I've been
 comparing Tres Generaciones, by Souza, and The Champ.

 The tres has a flavor I can't put my finger on.
 It's a musky, buttery flavor, but I can't nail it.
 Interesting tho, after a sip of the Tres, I can sip the Chinaco and suddenly
 the flavor of salt came forward, which I've never tasted in it before.
 That was a real treat.

 The only way to enjoy these different fine, luxury tequilas is to "A-B"
 them and dump the one you like the least into your margarita.

 So, for the next special occasion, try the Chinaco Anejo.
 I predict you'll write to me afterwards :)

 I see USA Today has a follow-up on that exciting and exclusive  story
 about a Sizzler in Milwaukee that closed due to an outbreak of E-Coli bacteria.

 Boy, that Drudge is always on top of everything.
 I wish I could be more like him.

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