Subject:   *Nigerian Bank Business Opportunity*

   From:  Jon_Bastian@paramount.com

 Bartcop --

 I'm hoping you printed the letter from "Robert Adam" about the Nigerian
 investment opportunity just as a bit of satire, but in case you didn't,
 please be aware this thing is a long-standing scam, and a pretty dangerous
 one at that.  If you search for Nigeria and bank or scam, you'll find a lot
 of hits, but here's the FAQ on the general outline of the thing:

 http://www.cbintel.com/nigeriafraud.htm
 

 Yes, it was a joke.
 Seems like that fraud was around when George Bush was still pro-choice.

 Subject:  A Question For Michael Moore...

 From:  ranting_wacko@hotmail.com

 I had a question.  In one of Mike's recent newsletters (8/08/00), he plugged
 Nader as a real canidate for change because he selected a woman as his
 running mate when "Gore nor Bush even tried to PRETEND they were considering
 a woman for Vice President".

 Pat Buchanan of the reform party selected HIS running mate, Ezola Foster
 who is a Los Angeles schoolteacher and an African American female.

 Now let's assume Mike's logic is right.  After all, as someone on here put
 it so well "Mike is Right!"  Let us say that Mike is encouraging women to
 vote for Nader because his selection of a woman as a running mate proves how
 progressive he is.

 If that is true, wouldn't it be an even bigger statement to go vote for Buchanan?
 I mean, he's just cost himself most of the South with his progressive and unheard of pick...
 definitly not the action of a poll-watcher enslaved to the special interests like Gore W. Bush.

 So I ask you, my fellow progressives, to join me in voting for the one man
 who owes nothing to nobody.

 Go, Pat, Go!

 Ranting Wacko
 

 RW,
 Careful using Buchanan's name in a sentence.
 They'll call you an anti-Semite.

 Hollywood Quotes

 "President Clinton, you are the kind of guy we'd accept as the First Man."

  Alfre Woodard, who should play Anita Hill
  in the movie with Danny Glover.

 How did Rush lose that weight?

 Click  Here

 Pigboy's 180

 The latest Zogby poll has PigBoy so confused that he contradicted
 himself today.  He'd previously hailed Zogby as the king of the
 pollsters, mainly because Zogby's technique of counting LIKELY voters
 rather than REGISTERED voters tends to produce a more
 conservative-leaning result.  Now every political pro knows that it's
 too early for polls to be showing anything meaningful, but PigBoy's
 ditto-sheep need to be constantly told that they're GUARANTEED to win,
 or they'll lose interest and turn off the radio.

 So today, PigBoy spun just the OPPOSITE to his ditto-sheep, that
 REGISTERED voter polls are inherently more accurate than those nasty old
 LIKELY voter polls.  Now, we know that the ditto-sheep aren't too
 bright.  But can't they even REMEMBER what PigBoy said, back before he
 defaulted on his talent loan, and God sent in the repo man?

 Eliot

 As of 3 PM, the Dow is up 135 points.

 Smirk is right.
 We MUST have a change of direction.

 ha ha

 Clinton is supposed to read a list of his accomplishments tonight.
 Pugboy knows this, and he doesn't want his sheep reminded how
 bad things were in 1992, so he's telling his ditto-monkeys to turn on
 every appliance in the house, hoping to overload California's electrical
 systems and black out Clinton's speech.

 ha ha

 Just like a Pigboy, trying to prevent his flock from getting the facts.

 Subject:  hate issues

 From:    north1776@usxchange.net

 You are in denial........   Government should protect the innocent,
 abortion is murder, it has a seperate heart and legs and arms

 If its not alive why is it growing, if its just a mass why does it react to
 pain... if its not a baby why does it suck its thumb.  Ted Kozinski, was
 worships Al Gore just like you, You should see Teds copy of Earth in th
 balance. By the way did youy know that Al Gore has recieves 5 citations from
 the State of Tennesee for for toxic waste dumping into a river from a mine
 thats on his farm? So why dont you be honest Ted Kozinski is just like you.

 Chuck

 But Chuck, all that proves is that you're for more government when it comes
 to abortion. If you were for less government all the time, I could respect that.
 But you only want less government on Tuesdays and Fridays.

 Subject:  Buchanan

 From:  SOPHISTRY2@excite.com

 Dear Bartcop,
 My two cents. Pat Buchanan is not, and never has been, interested in winning
 the White House on the Reform Party ticket. He remains a loyal Republican
 and Conservative and serves that cause by being instrumental in torpedoeing
 a party that he and his compatriots believe was THE deciding factor in their
 loses in the Presidential campaigns in the last two elections.

 FRANK

 Subject: Michael Moore

  From: rshayes@btc-bci.com

 I can't tell you how happy I was to see your several viewpoints that I can
 say I am in complete agreement with.  For one the one where you responded
 to JJ concerning Mogadishu, and pointed out that Bush sent the troops into
 Somalia.  I have been trying to bring this up in several emails  I have
 sent and people I have talked to and it is like talking to a blank wall.

 Bush should've sent armor with those soldiers in 1992.
 He didn't and those men died but of course, it's Clinton's fault that a slow-moving
 ship full of armor takes weeks and weeks and weeks to get to Somalia.

 I get a lot of that "blank wall" stuff, too, but usually it's about the Bush pardons.
 "Pardons? What pardons? Liar!!!"

 Also where you and several of your readers are discussing Michael Moore.
 My husband and I were watching his shows for a long time, and always knew
 he was coming down on the Democrats as well as the Republicans, but the link you
 linked to is one he sent out in his free emails, and that was the last one before we quit
 watching his show.  The reader who pointed out what is happening to the reform party
 is what you might expect to happen to the Green party, saying that money draws sharks.
 This is a concept I have been trying to grasp and was glad to see it in print in your
 correspondence with one of your readers.

 Until they change the election laws, (finance) we'll never have a viable third party.
 Either Smirk or Gore is going to win this race, which is why I'd like to see Moore
 pulling on the correct end of the rope.

 You wouldn't think this was needed, but apparently iit is, so here goes.
 Let's say pure liberalism is a 10.
 Let's say pure conservativism is a zero.

 Smirk is a 3, and Gore is a 7, and Nader may be a 10, I don't know.
 (Who knows what he thinks? I've never seen an in-depth interview.)
 People who loooooooove Michael Moore and Ralph Nader are pushing
 for that 3 to win, and the sane people are wondering why.

 Clinton is the only winner we've had since 1964, (Carter won by default)
 and it's amazing to see lefties turn on him.

 They have a problem with Gore?
 Wait until Smirk gets a ditto-monkey, rubber stamp congress.

 Some lefties aren't happy unless they're losing 49 states.

 Smirk Lead Slips to Three in New Reuters/Zogby Poll

 LOS ANGELES (Aug. 14) - Al Gore has canceled out Smirk's post-convention
 bounce and almost erased his lead in the U.S. presidential race, according to Zogby,
 the man Rush says "is always right."

 The poll found Smirk leading the vice president 43 percent to 40 percent.
 Green Party candidate Ralph Nader polled 7 percent.

 One week ago, in the aftermath of Nazi-Con 2000, Smirk led by 17 points.
 ''We'll very probably be looking at a tied race by early September,'' Zogby said.

 Subject:  BartCop the Republican

 From:  Cheffeller@aol.com

 Bartcop has lost favor.
 Bartcop isn't a democrat.
 Bartcop is, at best, a New Democrat DLC supporter, AKA, moderate republican.

 Michael Moore is a sell-out and a traitor?
 No, the entire DLC  (including Clinton, Gore, and Lieberman) are the sell-out traitors;
 buckling to the GOP.

 Still better than the GOP itself, but not by much.
 But, just go on, encourage and perpetuate the oligarcal plutocracy of america.
 The duopoly; this sham that is claimed to be democracy. Then you may not have to
 worry about elections in another 4, 8, or 12 years, for the empire will be realized.

 Side note: It is also odd your repeated hoorahs for Buchanan, and bashing
 of true liberals (Nader, Moore, etc.). One begins to wonder if your own
 politics might be more of the Buchanan persuasion. Come on, confess, confess

 Cheffeller,

 How fast can you get to a live chatroom?
 I'm in the mood for some heavy-bag work.

 Here's another one of those quick-loading deals.

 http://www.mind.net/basile/ReaganNation.html

 Robbed

 Did you see the Holyfield fight Saturday?
 He lost that fight BIG time.

 The announcers (Steve Albert, Bobby Czyz) had it 8-4 for Ruiz,
 and Czyz said maybe it was even as bad as 9-3 for Ruiz.
 As the fight was winding down, they kept saying things like.
"Barring a crazy verdict from some blind judges, Ruiz has won."

 And the crooked, probably-paid-by-Don King judges voted
 unanimously that Holyfield had won the fight.

 Don't get me wrong, Holyfield will always be a hero for showing
 what a paper champion Tyson was, but he lost his last THREE fights,
 but not according to the judges.

 Boxing is more crooked than the Smirk campaign.
 You'd think HBO and Showtime and whoever else it takes would
 join forces and take Don King's gonna-file-bankruptcy-tomorrow
 judges and make boxing a real sport again.

 OR

 They could stop with these women's rules and let the fighters fight
 until one of them canb't continue. I'm so old, I remember when
 title fights were 15 rounds, to prevent this kind of crap.

 I found a great business opportunity.
 It looks legit to me, so I'm in!
 

 ROBERT ADAM
robert.adam@algeria.com

 SIR/MADAM

 URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL

 I AM BARRISTER ROBERT ADAM, THE LEGAL ADVISER TO
ABBA  ABACHA THE PRESENT HEIR TO THE ESTATE OF THE LATE
HEAD OF STATE OF THE FEDERAL MILITARY GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA,
LATE GENERAL SANNI ABACHA.I AM CONTACTING YOU DUE TO THE
PRESENT SITUATION AS REGARD THE  SPECIAL PANEL SET UP BY THE
NEW DEMOCRATIC ADMINISTRATION AS AN ANTI-CORRUPTION BILL
PASSED ON THEM TO RECOVER ALL THE LOOTED MONEY KEPT BY
THE ABACHA'S ABROAD.

THIS EXERCISE HAS BEEN GOING ON NOW FOR MORE THAN A MONTH.
THE GOVERNMENT HAS SUCCEEDED SO FAR TO RECOVER THE SUM OF
$3.2 BILLION DOLLARS FROM SWISS BACK ACCOUNT. EVEN AS AT
TWO MONTHS AGO, THEY RECOVERED $565 MILLION DOLLARS AND ON
FRIDAY THE 14TH JULY ANOTHER 395 MILLION DOLLARS WAS RECOVERED
OWING TO THE CO-OPERATION OF THE SWISS GOVERNMENT. THESE FACTS
YOU CAN CONFIRM FROM YOUR EMBASSY HERE  IN NIGERIA.

YOU CAN EVEN REQUEST FOR NEWSPAPERS OR BBC PUBLICATIONS FOR
FURTHER  PROOF.  I AM CONSULTING YOU ON BEHALF OF MY CLIENT
ABBA ABACHA WHO ASK ME A FORTH NIGHT AGO TO QUICKLY LOOK FOR
A FOREIGN PARTNER, WHO COULD HELP US IMMEDIATELY PUSH THIS MONEY
FROM ABROAD.  ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO RECEIVE IT AND INVEST IT
AND FINALLY, MAKE MY CLIENT A PARTNER IN WHATEVER BUSINESS YOU
INVESTED THE  MONEY IN.

THESE MONEY IS ABOUT $285 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS, KEPT IN A
SECURITY VAULT IN EUROPE WHICH DOCUMENT  ARE ALREADY IN MY HANDS
AND THE POWER OF ATTORNEY TO TRANSACT THIS BUSINESS HAVE BEEN
FULLY GRANTED TO  ME.

IN THE LIGHT OF THESE, I AM ASKING YOU FOR HELP WHERE BOTH OF US CAN
MAKE A LOT OF PROFIT.  30 PERCENT OF THE WHOLE MONEY WILL BE GIVEN
TO ANY PARTNER WHO OBLIGES THE MATERIALS AND CHANNEL TO HELP US
PUSH THIS MONEY ABROAD FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE.  THIS MONEY WAS
KEPT AND LODGED IN THIS SECURITY VAULT IN A CRATE MARKED ANTIQUE.
SO, IT IS SAFE AND UNDISCLOSED FOR NOW.  SO, CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY
ONLY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ORDER FOR US TO START IMMEDIATELY AND
ALSO TO GIVE YOU FURTHER INFORMATION CONCERNING THE TRANSACTION.

PLEASE, NOTE THAT THIS IS HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL AND PRIVATE.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

YOURS SINCERELY,

ROBERT ADAM
robert.adam@algeria.com

 Subject:  Wake Up Michael Moore Fans!

 From: doug@qubemail.com

 Bartcop,
 I am so tired of people trashing you for the Michael Moore comments.

 There is no way we are going to be saying "President  Nader" next January,
 but we could very well be saying "President Bush" if these morons defect
 the Democratic party. It is not that you are dead set on any Democrat,
 but rather that these people need a reality check.

 Michael Moore knows this could throw the election over to the
 GOP, so he deserves every bit of the tongue lashing.
 Keep telling  your readers that a vote for Nader is a vote for Smirk.

        Study: Coverage Favors Republicans
 

          LOS ANGELES (AP) -- TV networks have given George W. Bush
          more favorable coverage than Al Gore, both during the GOP convention
          and throughout the presidential race, a new analysis finds.

          The study, being released Monday by the Center for Media and Public
          Affairs, examined 72 stories that aired during the Republican National
          Convention, July 31-Aug. 3, on the ABC, CBS and NBC evening news.

          It found that 60 percent of people quoted in stories praised Bush's
          policies, political skills or personal character, while 80 percent of people
          quoted criticized Gore.

          ``This is a man bites dog story for Republicans, who love to hate the
          media,'' said S. Robert Lichter, the center's president. ``For the first time
          in memory, the GOP presidential nominee is clearly beating the Democrat
          in the race for good press.''

          The study also looked at coverage during the primaries, when both Bush
          and Gore faced challenges from fellow party members. From Jan. 1
          through March 7, when the nominations were sealed, 53 percent of the
          comments about Bush were positive, compared with 40 percent of comments
          about Gore, who will be formally nominated by Democrats this week.

          Coverage this year is the inverse of 1992 and 1996, when Clinton received
          much more positive coverage than his opponents, the center said.

          Meanwhile, Republicans are worried the networks will give the
          Democratic National Convention more TV time this week than they gave
          the GOP gathering in Philadelphia two weeks ago.

          Republican National Committee Chairman Jim Nicholson wrote to the heads of the
          news divisions at ABC, NBC and CBS, saying that while he had hoped for
          gavel-to-gavel coverage of the GOP convention, he realized that was unrealistic.

          ``A more realistic wish is this,'' he wrote, ``that based on your commitment to fair
          and unbiased reporting, you will devote the same amount of time to the Democrats'
          convention as you did to ours -- but not a minute more.''

 From:  onehandle@yahoo.com

 Subject: daily brew

 The Brew is talking to you Bartcop.

 earl fakename
 

 Yeah, I know.
 I seem to be wearing out my welcome with Democrats.
 I spend half my time fighting the "good guys."

 My crime?
 Being pro-Clinton/Gore.
 If I was a real Democrat, I'd be voting for Nader
 and helping to put Smirk in the White House.

 I need to get a kevlar vest and wear it backwards.

 Paul Wellstone on CNN yesterday

He started out as a Bradley supporter and now supports Gore.
They were talking about the environment, abortion, surpluses, etc and
Wellstone said what I think ought to be one of Gore's themes:
George W. wants to repeal the 20th Century.

ha ha

 From:  randy.eisensmith@mssm.edu

 Subject: GOPdiversity

 Bartcop:

 The Republican ticket consists of two rich white males from Texas,
 both of whom used their political connections to get rich using irregular
 business practices, and both of whom are in favor of massive tax cuts for the rich
 and massive reductions in government support for the middle and lower classes.

 Where's the diversity part you say?
 While in the big oil business, they worked for different companies.

 (thanks to Rob Reiner)

 Will the Democrats be able to take the House?

 Click  Here

Hillary Rodham Clinton stopped in at "The Tonight Show" on Friday
 and got a laugh with a little help from her daughter.

Host Jay Leno asked the first lady what would happen if Chelsea Clinton
changed affiliation and announced that the Republicans had good ideas.

"I'd miss her a lot," Clinton replied.

 From:  edofarrell@worldnet.att.net

 Subject: Great Jewish line

 BC,
 Michael Feldman hosts 'What d'ya know' on NPR.
 Great line in his opening monologue today ...

 "I see Lieberman has selected an Episcopalian running mate."
 

 ha ha

 Voltai29 has a great signature line these days...

 =================================================
 Bush-Nader 2000: Chief Justice Thomas Thanks You For Your Vote!
 =================================================

 That's fucking-a  right.
 Go ahead, vote for Ralph Nader so Clarence Thomas can run all our lives.

 It's been over 48 hours since someone has accused me of being anti-Semetic.

 Tonight starts the big week!
 I'm excited, aren't you?

 This is being billed as "Clinton's last big speech."
 On the Sunday talk shows, they said they were hoping Clinton would
 "tone down" and not give a great speech, so as not to overshadow Gore.

 That sounds crazy.
 You can't ask Elvis to give a bad performance
 so Regis doesn't look stupid following him.

 Hillary is speaking tonight, too.
 We'll cover everything, live as it happens.

 How exciting!!

 Napster

 A while back I asked the question, "What's the difference between
 Napster and your local FM station playing an album in its entirety?"

 I found out the difference.
 If you have a DSL modem, you can download every song you've ever
 wanted in about 24 hours.  I spent Saturday and part of Sunday trying
 to stump Napster, but every time they had the song.

 Not only do they have every song I could think of, even long-forgotten
 sings from the sixties, but they have comedy, too.
 As I type this, I'm downloading Lenny Bruce at Berkely.

 Wow!
 That's a cool toy.

 Saturday, I got hours and hours of Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce,
 Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks and on and on, and they all fit on one CDR.
 That's amazing - hours of the best comedy in history on one CD.

 Yes, Napster is a threat, but it's funny that some kid in Ohio can make
 these available, but not the companies who own the rights?
 Like the Lenny Bruce I'm DL-ing right now.
 I'd pay for that, if it was available.
 I might not want to pay $20 for it at Best Buy, even if they had it, but you can't
 walk in Best Buy and dare them to have every song or every comedy concert for sale.
 They pretend they have everything, but they don't have shit.
 They're just not that big.

 So why don't the big boys get together and create a Napster-like database
 and charge a couple of dollars per download, less for three-minute songs
 from the past, and make money off of it?

 Lots of artists complain that their concerts were recorded and sold as bootlegs,
 but if they would make each show available, THEY could make the money
 instead of some bootlegger.

 Think about it.
 You pay to see Don Henley live in concert. After the show, you go online
 with your credit card and get a copy of that particular show.
 Most bands record every show, right?
 This would be easy, if they wanted to make the extra cash, but it seems like
 they'd rather complain about the bootleggers than do it themselves.

 The Internet is not going away.
 Soon, everyone will have DSL or T1 lines, and we'll be able to swap
 Seinfeld episodes or movies or concerts with just a click.

 Maybe instead of whining about Napster, the people with the rights
 to the copyrighted material should get a webpage and distribute their
 product themselves and make some money.

 Someone wrote and said the "I'm a Nazi" song by Pigboy wouldn't load
 because of a firewall or something, so I've uploaded an MP3 of it.

 Till the end of time, you can always get a perfect-sounding copy at

 http://www.bartcop.com/rushnazi.mp3

 Smirk with a Purpose

 Click  Here

 From: wallflower@bigfoot.com

 Subject: Hillary Clinton on Leno

 Dearest BartCop,

 I am a realative newcomer to Barcop.com...I've been reading for weeks
 (thanks to my husband, Henry Porter), but I finally feel I've something to
 add.

 I saw (and recorded) Hillary Rodham Clinton on Leno tonight. She is so
 personable and smart and attractive. For the past 8 years, I've only seen
 soundbites of anyting Hillary's said; this is the first time I've *really*
 listened to her talk. If I were a New Yawker, I'd vote for her; she's *real*.

 Hell, yes.
 I'd vote for her for president.
 She did a good job these last 8 years.

 In 1993, when she moved in the White House,
 Smirk hadn't even decided what he wanted to be when he grew up.

 Secret Service Falls Asleep

 Monday is turning out to be the Mother of all VCR Alerts.

 Just for starters, Demo-Con 2000 kicks off with Bill and Hillary Speeches.
 That's for starters.

 Next up we have Dennis Miller and Monday Night Football.
 (Does he only work games opposite political conventions?)

 Bill Maher will have killer guests all week.
 Jon Stewart is live from LA all week.
 No doubt Dave will be getting in on the action,
 but Jay Leno has the Big Topper for Monday night.

 Drum roll, please....

 Tomorrow night, Leno has Gore's two daughters and Jimmy Page!
 What was the Secret Service thinking?

 I hope they send enough agents to cover those poor girls.
 Have they not heard the stories?
 Lori Maddox?  Pamela des Barres?
 Jimmy's riding crop collection?
 The Baked Beans Incident?
 The Bad Company tarmac swap?
 The Mud Shark in your mythology?
 Nanook Rubs It?

 Yep, Monday is a red-letter VCR Alert day.

 Memo to Mr. Page:
 Play "Time of Dying" for a 27-year fan, OK?

 Ediotr's Late edition Addition:

 On top of everything else, Biography is doing Rock legends.
 In real time, in twelve minutes, they're doing Bob Dylan.
 I need to watch that.
 I know what Bob Dylan means, but I've never gotten into Dylan.

 Monday - David Crosby
 Tuesday - Jimi Hendrix
 Wednesday - Janis Joplin
 Thursday - Mick Jagger
 Friday - Sam Phillips

 On top of that...
 The same Magic Monday the Travel Channel (check local listings) is doing
 "Secrets - the Robert Johnson Story."

 While I can't guarantee they'll do it right, you need to see the Robert Johnson story.
 I can't say Robert Johnson invented rock n roll, but he was a link at least as big
 as Elvis, and that's some kind of statement.

 If you don't have the complete Robert Johnson recordings,
 you only dabble in rock n roll.

 Clapton Quote:
 "The singing and playing of Robert Johnson
   is the most soulful sound my ears have heard."

 This is 1932, folks, and Robert Johnson, a negro man,
 was re-inventing music that would touch billions of people, ... so far.

  ...shot of Chinaco

 Ahhhh!

 Magic Monday, don't be late.

 I'd like to take a moment here to thank my friend Zepp
 for the public raking he gave me over at  michaelmoore.com

 You see, it was my first post over at  michaelmoore.com,
 and, at least in Zepp's opinion, I made several mistakes because,
 as you know,
 it's my first goddamn ride on the fucking Internet and I wasn't sure
 how to handle myself in public so my friend Zepp stepped right in
 to save me from all the dangerous areas he felt I hadn't mastered yet.

 Thank God I was only alone over there for three hours before my "friend" Zepp
 jumped in to straighten me out and explain to the others what it was I really meant to say,
 and that I wasn't such a bad guy once you got past my "stupidity."

Thanks for the help, Zepp.
Thanks for getting involved.
Thanks for telling me what to do, and how to act, because I don't have
a fucking clue how to talk politics with people on some web page.

Thanks for defining the word "insult" for me, because I that's all new to me.
Thanks for holding my hand in tough times, like a true friend would.
Thanks for pointing out which of my "insults" were most stupid.
Truth be told, some of my friends might not have thought to do that.

Thanks for explaining to people (who've never read me) that I "know better."
and thanks for telling them that you KNEW that I knew better,
because nothing feels better than having a friend stand up for you.

 ...and thanks for being that friend today, Zepp.

 Paula Jones Crashes Party Convention

 MARINA DEL RAY, Calif. - Just when we thought we could put Paula Jones
 behind us, guess who is staying in the same hotel as a bunch of Democrats?

 None other than Paula Jones, Headmistress of oral sex, President of the Oral Majority.
 She was in the hotel looby with a sign reading, "Have Lips, Will Travel."
 Jones, dressed in a tight red, white and blue sweater, says she's making big bucks.

 "Yeah, I'm here for the Democratic convention," she said, when approached in
 the gift shop of the Marina Beach Marriott. "Can you imagine the irony?
 Democrats are so much better tippers than Republicans."

 Paula also revealed plans in the spring to pose nude for Penthouse, saying she was here
 for "a photo shoot." A hotel source said General Media Publishing Group - which owns
 the steamy magazine - has paid for the room occupied by Jones' agent, David Schmidt,
 under whose name she was listed at the hotel.

 (Paula never uses her own name. "The phone would never stop ringing," she says,
 "and my lips can only service so many men each day, you have to understand.")

 Jones is looking for attention by staying in the Los Angeles area when thousands of
 members of the media are converging here for the convention, but her agent says
 she can make money with Democrats or Republicans."

 When Schmidt found out that a reporter knew Jones was staying at the hotel, he
 offered him a "Dutch Oven Special," a Paula favorite, if he'd spread the word
 that "The Humminator" was back in business. He said there was "not a dog's
 chance in hell" that Jones would straddle any camera lenses until she got her
 check from Penthouse, due to an exclusivity agreement with Bob Guccione.

 "We wanted to stay at the Beverly Hills Hotel but they have a morality clause,"
 Schmidt said. "The last blessed thing I want is for Paula to not be able to work."

 Looking rested and rhinoplastied, Jones seemed in good spirits as she snatched
 up knick-knacks from the hotel gift shop -- including picture frames, a box with a
 rendering of Hollywood on it and a tube of K-Y for "any emergency."

 As more and more Democrats arrive, and learn of her Demo-Con 200 "special,"
 Paula also said she is juggling custody of her two sons with her estranged husband,
 who was granted custody for the summer at his home in Long Beach.
 Paula said she remains a very sore young lady.

 Jones has found herself in the background of the 2000 campaign before.
 She was spotted last month at the Embassy Suites in Little Rock as George W. Bush
 made his way to a fundraiser. But she was reportedly turned away from that event
 as well as a Bush speech at a youth and family center in Little Rock the same day.

 "The Governor has enough troubles without Paula Jones," said a Bush spokeswoman,
 who refused to give her name to reporters.  (Karen Hughes)

 "It looks like people are turning this around to say I'm trying to meet the governor,"
 Jones told the Houston Chronicle. "Well, yeah, so what? I've met governors before,
 and I've performed oral sex on four sitting governors," she claimed.
 "I have a right to 'greet' a governor just like anybody else."

 As for a possible Penthouse spread, Jones was uncharacteristically closed-mouthed.
 She would not say who she was posing for while staying in the area, and described
 the shoot only as "a project I'm working on." A Penthouse staffer who asked not to be
 named said "it could be possible" Jones was here for a photo session but the magazine
 was still negotiating the terms of the piece.

 Word is Jones was asking for $150, and Guccione was offering $47.50.

 Jones initially talked about the shoot in the hotel gift shop, but thought better of getting
 into any details. She stopped herself and said, "I'm just going to zip my mouth."

They've succeeded in making "Liberal" a bad word.
Now they're working on "Moderate"!

Visit http://www.algop.com

 Michael Moore

 I just posted a debate challenge to Michael Moore at  michaelmoore.com
 under "Say anything," which isn't exactly true, because they have 1,000 rules.

"you will not use this BB to post any material which is
 knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive,
 vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented,
 threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or illegal."

 Gee, I think Afghanistan has fewer restrictions on free speech than that.
 If he was hosting a cartoon kiddie site, I'd agree - Let's all play nice.
 But Moore's into politics, and that's not always pretty and polite.

 Koresh forbid somebody might post a political thought that
 somebody else might consider inaccurate at  michaelmoore.com

 The BIG Debate

 After making a big, big splash, Gatto99 has sent his challange.

 From: gatto99@yahoo.com

 Subject:

 Hey Bart,

 Ok you said I get to chose the issues.  Here they are.
 For lack of time I will give you three to start with.

 1. Gun Control-New restrictions on gun control will take guns out of the hands
 of the public, and leave them in the hands of criminals who have them illegally.
 This will weaken the security of those who carry guns for protection.

 Your first sentence was vague, pointless and false.
 The term "new restrictions" can mean anything.
 I've been paying attention, and I can guarantee Clinton/Gore have proposed
 no legislation that would outlaw guns. You can pretend they have, but in the
 real world they've done nothing to take "guns" from the public.

 I carry a gun and Clinton has never proposed taking it away from me.
 Why in the world would you start our "great debate" with such a poorly-worded
 false assumption?

 2.Al Gore took credit for something he did not create. The Internet.  Is our
 society now to give all of our credit to the politicians rather than the inventors?

 You have no idea what you're talking about.
 You've taken Pigboy's comedy accusation and elevated it to reality.
 Gore never claimed he wrote the first line of code.

 If you paid any attention to the facts, and let your eyes and ears take in facts
 instead of letting Rush's comedy show hook you by the nose and jerk you off,
 you'd know Gore sponsored the legislation that took the computer network that
 the Pentagon and a few elite universities were using and transformed it into
 the user-friendly "Internet" that wired hundred of millions of homes and offices
 together which, (cry if you must) created the Internet you and I are using.

 3. It is a proven fact that the death penalty has curbed violent crimes.

 Only by the person executed.
 George Bush has executed what, 135 people so far?
 Why didn't the 134 deaths before him curb the murderous appetite of the 135th guy?

 Why does Texas have more murders than of all the other states
 since it leads the western hemisphere in state-sanctioned executions?

 Up until the last couple of years, AIDS has been a certain death penalty for
 teenagers who had unprotected sex. Guess what? They still had unprotected sex.
 The threat of death will only stop the reasonable, logical person.
 How many reasonable, logical people commit murder?

 Obviously, keeping an animal in a cage curbs violent crime as well,
 but that's not as much fun as an execution, right?
 I think some people need to be executed, but not every 17 days.
 Smirk gets entirely too much satisfaction out of those executions.

  I hope you are thrilled my selections.
 And have the heart to keep a good sense of humor for the days to come.

 Thanks,

 Gatto99

 "Thrilled" isn't the word I'd use to describe your first launch.
 You created a big splash about how badly you were going to kick my ass.
 Your first launch was going to be so powerful and overwhelming,
 you said it would take three or four days to put it together.
 What you sent me could've been sent by a sixth grader in 15 minutes.

 I was expecting a bit of a challenge, considering your grand build-up.
 If you have a second blast, put everything you have into it,
 because you're not even making the radar screen as an opponent.

 ...and you look silly in that skirt.

 From:  stevew@galleriapublishing.com

 Subject: las vegas

 Hey Bartcop,
 You have mentioned several times about going to Vegas.
 My wife and I have just about made up our minds to go there on our 10th
 anniversary this November. I want to stay at the Las Vegas Hilton because of
 the Star Trek Experience that they have. Do you think that is a good idea or
 should we stay somewhere else and just visit the STE? Is one week enough?

 I have found out that I usually get burned out after too long at one place.
 (we went on a 3 day cruise and I couldn't fucken wait to get back on land,
  I couldn't imagine a week long cruise)

 Anyway, just thought that I would ask.
 Love your web site, keep up the good work!

 Steve

 Steve,
 Las Vegas would be a great place to have your anniversary.
 I've never stayed at the Las Vegas Hilton, but I'm sure it's fine.
 The Star Trek Experience is a lot of fun, too.

 I'd recommend a giant fattie before you go, to more fully get into the game.
 When you come out, have a Vulcan Mind Meld at Quark's Bar.

 We like staying at the Rio because the rooms are hueueueueuege!
 Not only that, but one entire wall is glass.
 Check out this sun-rising in-your-face picture:

...and at night, the view is spectacular.
 (Wished I'd turned the TV off for this shot.)

 The night we stayed in the Executive Suite at Mandalay Bay,
 (I sure do miss my ADM money...)
 you had to stand on your toes and lean to the right to see anything.
 From the Mirage, you see Treasure Island.
 From Treasure Island, you see the Mirage.

 There's so much to see in Vegas, even if you're broke.
 At night, there are thousands of people walking around the streets, so it's very safe.
 You can see the Mirage's volcano erupt, you can see the pirates cannonball fight
 at Treasure Island, you can ride the elevators to the top floor of the Stratosphere
 and look down on the whole valley, and you have the Dancing Waters at the Bellagio,
 which is more fun than it sounds.

 You've also got the utmost in dining, if you're into that.
 Vegas has some of the best restaurants in the world, no kidding.
 We like the Mexican food at the Rio, but I've heard the Bellagio and others also
 have excellent restaurants. After you spend a billion dollars on a casino, no sense
 in saving a few bucks with cheap-ass Garduno's-types of restaurant.
 Even if you don't like tequila, you should visit Taqueria Cononita,
 at the Venetian.   I hope to die there, someday.
 They spent $2,500,000,000 (yes, that's billions) on that place.
 The architecture alone is worth the trip.

 Besides the gambling, you also have the scenery.
 Death Valley is just a couple of hour's drive, plus the Valley of Fire State Park
 is cool, and in the summer, few things are as much fun as renting a boat on Lake Mead.

 (I'd put a picture of Lake Mead here, if there was one on the Internet.)

 I say go for it!
 You'll be surprised at how nice the people are.
 Everybody but the cab drivers treat you like royalty in Las Vegas.
 I predict you'll go back again and again.
 That's how it got to be Vegas.

 I was sickened by the JoeL spectacle on the Sunday shows.
 He was on Meet the Whore where Timmy pummled him like a pinata.
 Then he went to This Whore so Sam Donaldson could kick his ass.
 Then he went to Face the Whore so Bob could beat him up.

 Is JoeL too nice to be in politics?
 Whatever the positives are of having the BartCop attitude, JoeL has
 absolutely no BartCop in him at all, and I mean he doesn't even have one percent.

 He sits there and takes the beating and takes the beating and takes the beating
 and never throws a fucking punch - ever.

 After watching him lay back and accept his thrashing on three different shows,
 I wonder if Gore's not in this race all by himself.

 Cheney Gets $20,000,000 Goodbye Gift From Big Oil
   "We know he'll to the right thing for America's energy needs."

 Full  Story

 Cheney's retirement package is ``very much in keeping with retirement
 packages several previous Halliburton executives have earned, and that is
 standard in corporate America,'' she said.

 Cheney has said he plans to sell off his Halliburton stock and divest his other
 financial holdings, but not until the Republican ticket wins in November.

 ha ha

 Cheney knows he's going to lose in November.
 That's why he won't divest until after the elections.

 I finally figured something out, proving even the slow-witted people
 can have an original thought if given enough time.

 I've been hard on Juan Williams and Mara Liason and that stab-in-the-back
 George (Judas Maximus) Stephanopolous, but not as hard as I should've been.

 Here's the deal:

 All three of those people were once considered Democrats.
 But if they say anything remotely positive towards Clinton or Gore,
 they're perceived as lying, spinning and making excuses.

 But if they attack Clinton and Gore, they're seen as insightful and having
 the courage to break away from the script and telling "the truth."

 I guess that makes some sense, but my I.Q. of 64 still hasn't been able
 to figure out my that same theory doesn't work in reverse.

 If George Will of John McLaughlin or Bob Novak ever said something
 remotely positive about a Democrat, I'd fall out of mt goddamn chair.
 They assign every sinister motive that Rush can fabricate about every
 position Clinton and Gore have ever taken and they fawn over and
 heap praise on a nice-looking fellow who can't say where Canada is
 without ever sacrificing any of their party's positions.

 Somehow, the liberal point of view is considered "spinning and lying,"
 whereas every member of the all-white party of Barr, Burton and Bush
 is seen as truthful and honest by sticking to their party's official line.

 I guess I should get back to pondering that...

 Found this

 Rush Limbaugh
 He used to be on TV, but I guess he got too big for the screen.
 Now Rush  is sticking to radio.
 That's a good place to put ugly people.

 His diatribes are broadcast over 600 radio stations and heard by over 20 million listeners.
 He tells his fans -- dittoheads, he calls them -- to not read newspapers.
 He translates the news for them, then tosses out statistics -- many of them phony.
 He's made a big impact on conservative voters --  not to mention a lot of furniture
   -- which is amazing since he never registered to vote until he was 35.
 He says Reagan should be put on Mount Rushmore, though he never voted for him.
 Rush's TV audiences looked a lot like him:  overweight, middle-aged white folks
    who probably never dated during their teens.
 Now all they want to do is make money and pig out at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
 Some folks think Rush is funny, but others find him boorish.

 On his short-lived TV show he made fun of then-12-year-old Chelsea Clinton
   shortly after she moved into the White House.
 Announcing that the Clintons have a dog, he held up Chelsea's picture.
 Hey, that's pretty low, picking on a kid!
What the hell's wrong with you, Tubby?

 Then he said Bill Clinton was wrong to suggest right-wing radio shows
    encouraged the 1995 bombing in Oklahoma City.
 Never mind that he once said don't "kill ALL the liberals. Leave enough around so we
    can have two on every campus. . . so we will never forget what these people stood for."
 I guess a guy would have to be crazy to think Rush really meant to kill liberals.
 Exactly.   It's the crazy ones that concern us.

 Rush says he likes to debate ideas, but he debates no one.
 He controls the mike, screens calls, and delivers monologues that demonize his opponents.
 And just look at his book titles:  See, I Told You So, and The Way Things Ought to Be.
 He wants folks to think he's a real Smarty-Pants.
 Well, anybody can make up their own facts.

 Rush has been married three times.
 He met his current wife on the Internet, which proves just how dangerous chat rooms really are.
 His first two wives left him because they didn't want a guy who sat on his ass all day.
 That's what his brother said.
 His first wife said he had a hard time with relationships.
 A friend of his said Rush told him after his divorce that he was through with women
   and would become asexual.
 He doesn't cotton to women he considers feminists.
 He calls them "feminazis," which I guess is any woman who won't cook or clean up after him.

 Growing up in Missouri, he was a lonely, unpopular, fat kid.
 He didn't date or go to his senior prom.
 In fact, he once hid himself in the backseat of a car to watch a friend neck with his date.
 Rush was trying to learn how to do it.
 Sounds like somebody was too cheap to buy his own porn.

 Here's a couple of quick-load shorties for you...

 http://www.mind.net/basile/TattleTaleNation.html

 http://www.mind.net/basile/ChickenHawkNation.html
 

 Thanks to marc forrest

 Mega-Mailbag

 What Kind of Man Reads bartcop.com?

 From: landea@uswest.net

 Subject: you're an idiot

 I started reading Bartcop a couple of months ago and thought
 "Hey, this guy sounds like me",
 your criticism of the republicans was right on target...

 NOW you're slamming  M. Moore and Ralph Nader???
 You are so blindly democrat that you would vote for GWB if he were on their ticket.

 Wake up asshole.

 Lande

 Great Buchanan Quotes

"Let me turn now to the signature issue of the Bush campaign: education.
 Mr. Bush is so enthusiastic about it, he gets carried away.
 He told a baffled audience in Florence, South Carolina, and I quote directly:
 ``Rarely has the question asked: Is our children learning?''

 Is our children learning? "
 

 ha ha

 Go, Pat, go!

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