Thanks to: JennyQ1@aol.com
The Kingdom Kontinues to Krumble
Washington, D.C. - RadioShack and Motel 6 have dropped
on the LA She-Thing's radio program.
Kay Jackson, Director of Media Relations for RadioShack stated,
strictly adheres to a policy NOT to advertise on programs that might be
politically or socially controversial or that promote any one individual's agenda
or point of view. In the case of recent ads aired on the Dr. Laura Show,
these ads were placed inadvertently by a third party media buying organization.
RadioShack took action to pull ALL ads from the Dr. Laura Show
as soon as this placement error was brought to our attention."
In a statement provided to StopDrLaura.com
by Cecile Kale, CEO of Motel 6,
the company announced, "We are looking very closely into whether this type
of talk-show programming makes sense for us and we are doing no further
advertising on Dr. Laura this year."
Both companies confirmed their announcements in conversations
StopDrLaura.com this afternoon. "In under 24 hours since these companies were
placed on the front page of StopDrLaura.com, both have heard from their
customers and the community at large," said John R. Selig spokesperson for
StopDrLaura.com. "Both RadioShack and Motel 6 join a growing list of
America's premier advertisers in realizing that intolerance is bad for
business and so is Schlessinger."
RadioShack and Motel 6 join the following list of
Procter & Gamble,
the Ohio State Lottery,
Amica Insurance and TCF Bank.
...yet, Pigboy continues to get a free ride?
I don't understand why.
Hey BC. In Vol. 242 you published an email
(subject: Lieberman). I sent a few comments to that address and received the following:
From: "John Huang" email@example.com
Actually, the post you saw was a phony letter created by Bartcop because
he is afraid to debate me. He knows that if he posted my real arguments
he would be exposed for the boot-licking Clinton apologist he really is.
Bartcop claims he will debate anyone
but he is really a self-deluded liar,
just like his heroes, Bill and Al.
Sounds like Mr. Huang is calling you a fraud
and a liar.
Please tell us it isn't so (and if you're going to sue him for libel,
so much the better). Keep up the good work.
Al, for years, I've printed every negative letter sent to me.
I've also challenged every ditto-monkey on planet Earth to a debate.
Knowing this, small people can make a goofy claim and get their
mentioned on bartcop.com the motivation for which escapes me.
I could deny his charges, but he would just say I was lying, so
let's do this.
Let's set up a live debate between him and me.
It should be easy.
Contact him and we'll let him pick the time, I'll pick the place.
(I assume it'll be a Yahoo chat room, because everyone gets Yahoo chat
without having to download a lot of software etc.)
So here's the deal.
"John Huang" tells you he's ready at 8PM CST Friday, tomorrow.
At 7:55 tomorrow, tune in to bartcop.com to
get the name of the chat channel.
(If we create a channel name ahead of time, it will cause problems)
If he agrees, I'll kick his ass tomorrow night at 8.
Of course, I'm worried that I might lose...
(Wish I had a shot of Chinaco for every time I've been down this road)
One thing tho, there are subjects I won't debate.
I'm not going to debate arms control, or somebody's health care plan,
or the war between Pakistan and India etc.
But if he wants to get into general subjects talked about on bartcop.com
I'll make him squeel like a little pink piggy tomorrow at 8.
But keep in mind - the last guy who was "really going to tear
me a new one"
was Shane (AKA Shirtboy) and he was just kidding around to see if he could
get his name in a "prestigious" publication like bartcop.com
Tell him he can have all the helpers he wants, whereas I, since
will be sipping on Shane's bottle of fine luxury tequila as I paddle his young ass.
Huang don't want none of me.
Did you hear about next season's Survivor?
They're going to put seven people in a Ford Expedition, with Firestone
The last person left alive wins a million dollars.
Memo to the American Voter
If you're going to vote for Bush, please vote a straight Republican ticket.
Let's not have a GOP president, then shackle him with a Democratic
I've always wanted to see what a full-blown pro-business, anti-consumer
government would look like. If you're voting for Smirk, at least be consistent
and vote for Barr, Burton, Delay and those idiot House Managers
Let's not do anything half-way.
Subject: Hate Crime?
> In the late 1930's, Adolph Hitler ordered the systematic elimination
> of the Jewish people, ending with over 6,000,000 dead.
> Would today's GOP call that "hate crime,"
> or would they consider it merely murder? "
Why the word "merely?"
Are you implying that not all murder is a horrible thing?
Oh, dear, did I imply something?
I tried to spell it out as best I could.
I think what Hitler did was 6-12 million times worse than
They even have a name for it - genocide.
What are you saying?
Since they're Jews, they don't count?
That's a very hateful attitude, Mr. Foolcow.
You should repent.
Third hour, Pigboy has a caller saying,
"Clinton is weak now, he has no political capital like he did in 1995.
We should attack him and shut down the government."
That reminds me, when I was a kid, we'd go on the Tilt-a-Whirl
or some ride at
the fair and during the ride the guy with his hand on the switch would ask the kids,
"Do you want to go faster?"
Yes, GOP, we all want to go faster.
Please, please attack Clinton a few more times before he leaves.
We want to go faster!
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
There's a real easy way for us to win
It's all in the way we frame the choices the voters have.
We'll just make it between Bill Clinton and George Burns.
Since his series of strokes,
it's a lot easier to write bartcop.com
Bob Witkowski ("At Wit's End"
has a blurb on
his site saying that the reporter had called the judge to CONFIRM information
HE ALREADY HAD. Heard anything about this?
I'd love some hard information to shut up the ditto-sheep when
they go bleating on
about how the "Clinton butt-boys in the White House need to apologize to Ray."
"Now that we know a Democrat-appointed judge
confirmed the existence
of the Grand Jury, all the RW wackos are screaming for a retraction.
You won't get it here. You know why?
Because the reporter, Mr.Yost, had already been told about the existence of this new panel
and was calling the Judge to see if he could get the information confirmed.
Duh.....I stand by my accusations against
the OIC and/or the GOP dirty tricksters.
The leak had to come from somewhere to prompt Yost to make the call.
No one's off the hook on this one."
Bob wouldn't say anything that wasn't true.
He's not a comedian, he's a real person.
We've found TWO tours of Pigboy's home town.
Mail from Above
From: firstname.lastname@example.org Father Dan, Catholic priest
I was interested in your question about
lesbians who are femme or butch.
Thanks to the reader who responded.
I asked a gay friend about this, but he was unable to answer it. He did admit
that one time he met a lesbian who was so butch that he almost was attracted.
Now for the Catholic joke of the day--a true story:
A penitent went into confession and started
out with the usual
"Bless me father, for I have sinned." Then he stated,
"I am a conservative Republican."
Before he had a chance to continue, the
"Is there anything else?"
I can't stand how good that is.
Are you allowed to repeat stuff you hear in confession?
Is it legal to tape it?
That'd be so cool!
You could send me a coupla dozen of the nastiest ones and
I could convert them to ram files and put them on bartcop.com
Don't worry, I won't tell...
A shot of Chinaco for Father Dan!
Do the Math
Smirk hasn't made this many promises since he was a teenager in
back seat of his daddy's car on prom night back in Midland, Texas.
A vote for Bush is a vote for a SIX TRILLION dollar deficit.
Click Below for proof
Subject: He found a new low
After the Clinton cock hunt, i thought Commander Jeeprot was
all petered out;
that he had no more obscenity in him. But i was wrong. At the end of the second hour
today he reached down deep inside and pulled out the most vile statement he's made
in a long time, possibly one of his most vile ever. If this doesn't prove once and for all
that the impeachment was about sex, nothing will.
At the end of the second hour the fat fuck noted that Tipper Gore
had the flu
and one of her daughters was standing in for her on the campaign trail.
Then he said: "When i read this all i could think about was the kiss."
Marta either needs to up his dosage or move the kids out.
Subject: Sex with my wife is ridiculous...
...her favorite position is facing Bloomingdales!
BartCop, it's me again.
Just to remind you, this Friday Aug. 25th I'm on the Tonight Show with Leno and
I'm going to do something very daring. I'm showing a clip from my new movie
My 5 Wives that exposes my butt. I've learned in show business if you have
a sexy behind, it can really help your career.
Well, you can see for yourselves, I need a lotta help with mine.
If you want a sneak preview, download the trailer for the movie at www.my5wives.com
and you'll see what I'm talking about. You can send me a confidential email to
XXXXXXXX@rodney.com and send me some more jokes, if you have any.
I open in Vegas August 31st for one week and then again Oct. 5th
for two weeks.
Are you going to be in Vegas around then? They are selling tickets for both shows now,
but I'll save a table for you and Mrs. BartCop . Hey, the MGM Grand is a top hotel.
If you come out, I'll pay for your room and buy the first round at the tequila bar at the Venetian.
Excellent Short Article
GOP Scuttles Attack Ad
Another day, another Pigboy accusation about "Love Story" and
accusation that "I invented the Internet," when he knows and you know
that those clumsy claims were dismissed months and months ago but,
just like with Clinton's cock, he can never let go.
Now, he's whining that Gore couldn't tell who the busts of Jefferson
were when he visited Monticello. Gee Rush, first of all, it depends on the
quality of the workmanship. If Ol' BartCop made a bust of Jefferson,
trust me, Sally Hemmings wouldn't be able to tell you who it was.
But Pigboy, with his borderline bovinity, has no charges of substance
to hurl at Gore, so chooses instead to harpy like the LA She-Thing on
non-existent and months-ago discredited bullshit that only he, Hannity,
O'Reilly and the Fox Whore News channel have chosen to embrace.
Gore couldn't lose this election if he tried.
First, I'm straight, happily married, and
a father of one.
Second, one of my family members is lesbian and another is bi.
Now to the point.
The true liberal position is that it DOESN'T FREAKIN' MATTER!
Liberals don't care if sexual orientation is nature or nurture.
If it's genetic, it ain't their fault.
If it's not genetic, it's their own private personal business and not ours.
Hey, I get it just fine, but I disagree.
I think civil rights is everybody's business.
When they tie a gay man to a fence in Cheney's state, it's our business.
When they drag a black man to his death in Smirk's state, it's our business.
The Bush Family "Oiligarchy"
Part Three: Politics & Oil -- The Sequel
By Sam Parry
The oil money connections that had served George W. Bush so well
life would, like his father before him, continue to serve George W. very
well in political life. And, like his father before him, George W. would
reward his oilmen benefactors once in office.
I have -- through an inside source deep in the Bush
camp that shall
remain anonymous -- obtained a copy of the highly secretive, yet bona fide
"GOP Bush 2000 Campaign Platform." It is as follows:
GOP Bush 2000 Campaign
1) Clinton's Cock!
2) Empty catchphrases: i.e. "Compassionate Conservatism," "Reformer
"Uniter not a Divider," "Prosperity with a Purpose," "Squandered Opportunities,"
and "They have not led."
3) Smokescreens and Diversions.
4) More empty hot words: i.e. "Vision," "Purpose," "Decency," "Integrity," "Honor."
5) Hide the "old guard": i.e. Jesse Helms, Tom Delay, Strom Thurmond,
Dan Burton, Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, Trent Lott, Dick Armey, and the like.
6) Be Vague. No specifics. Vague, vague, vague.
7) Distortions of Fact, and other Fallacious Rhetoric. Propaganda is nice. Lie.
8) Someone please straighten out our candidate's vocabulary.
9) This is a Personality Contest -- Avoid Substance, Issues, and Policy.
10) Above all, CLINTON's COCK!
On the Rocks
Tequila shortage may jeopardize the beloved margarita
DALLAS— Margaritas. Frozen, swirls, or on the rocks. They're
drinks with one thing in common: tequila.
It's the hottest spirit on the market these days, but it could
start getting harder to find
because the key ingredient in premium tequilas, blue agave, is running low.
Mass producing top-shelf tequila has dried up the supply of blue agave,
which has been over-harvested in Mexico. Tequila prices are on the rise.
"What we used to call 'inexpensive' tequilas have taken as much
as an $8
to $10 price increase," said store manager Ron Shaw.
And some of the smaller tequila brands may eventually be forced
out of business.
In an area where margaritas are the drink of choice for many, folks here say a tequila
shortage could have a major social impact. Chuy's Restaurant in Dallas serves up
lots of frozen, strawberry, and on-the-rocks margaritas.
"Margaritas are a huge part of our business, especially Friday's
It's a huge seller for us," said Eduardo Tames, a spokesperson for Chuy's.
If margarita prices go up with tequila getting more expensive, some folks just don't care.
"Texas born, Texas raised. I drink margaritas. That's how it's
going to be," said Andrea Somerville.
It seems a lot of folks cannot imagine life without tequila.
Loved the David Limbaugh letter. I have been
an adherent of this theory
for god knows how long. The freakin' loser still brags to this day about
how he refuses to wear blue jeans because the popular kids wore them.
While there may be no shame in virtually
bankrupting the oil company that
your Daddy gave you for your birthday, do this experience really qualify you to
become the CEO of the world's largest corporation? And where is Bill Bennett and
the "outrage police" when we need them? Shouldn't they be outraged over Dick Cheney's
(I always think of Mr. Hainey from Green Acres whenever his name is mentioned)
shameless use of his government connections to extract $40 million from Halliburton?
I mean, if Halliburton had actually turned a profit while Cheney
we might believe that he actually earned it, but they didn't.
Where is the man's sense of decency?
P.S. Gore has been doing so well that I just peeled the "Impeach
sticker off of the back of my car. Go Al Go.
The Snake Eats the Rat
(What a great title)
I didn't see enough of the show to know who was most devious,
who was most
despicable, who played the game the best, but I'm sure Bill Clinton would've
out-manuvered everyone and been the winner if he'd been on the island.
Not only that, he would've bagged the women he wanted, too.
Tuesday night, that Sean dude was on Howard Stern's "E!" show.
He gave a lot of background that, seems like, CBS could've given us
to make the story more complete. Such as, Sean said to get to the
"tribal council" area, they had to walk 2.5 hours in the jungle, in the dark.
He said it was no fun walk,
either, with animals nipping at their feet,
steep inclines, crossing a bed of ankle-twisting rocks, and all of this
was done in the extreme heat. He says it was 106 during the day.
Stern, as always, asked about
sex and body functions, and Sean, (who is a neurologist)
said after a few days he was unable to get an erection due to exhaustion and depletion
of minerals and vitamins, and that he went 13 days without going #2 because his body
was so starved for nourishment, he excreted very little waste.
It was fun to see the girls fighting, tho.
When Kelly voted Sue off, you just knew what was coming.
When I owned those rock n roll bars, the men fighting was never a problem.
It was always the women who drew the most blood
Sue gave the big speech to the camera about the crap that was
going to come down at the trial, which wasn't exactly the cliff-hanger
they made it out to be. I assumed each "juror" would have a speech
like Sue's, but they were wimps. No wonder they lost - wimps!
And what was up with walking on the hot coals?
They scampered across, with no set-up and no sound, like it was
some goddamn afterthought, after building it up real big in TV Guide
and in interviews with shows like Entertainment Tonight.
Then that stupid hold-on-to-the-pole test.
Seems to me in a normal survival endurance test, the big men would have a
better chance, but that stupid hold-the-log gag and the balance-on-the-beam
from a show or two back seemed geared to let a very small woman get to
the finals. Of course, this entire contest was rigged from the start.
Rich had the brains to jump ship on the hold-the-log.
I would've done the same thing - jump off and let the other dumb SOBs
grab a handfull of log for the next few hours. Had I been Rudy, it would've
only taken me about 60 seconds to realize little Miss Hundred Pounds
could hold onto that log until Chelsea becomes president. Rudy is what,
late 60's, early to's? It made my back hurt just watching him bend over.
When Kelly made Rudy take a hike, Mrs BartCop almost threw her
at the TV. It really pissed her off - not that Rudy lost so much as she knew
then that Rich was going to win. Then - the big trial.
Did you notice the jury was drunk when they voted?
Trust me, all those years behind a bar - I can tell.
Makes sense, tho, get them liquored up so their buried resentment
comes spewing out. Sue seemed to hold her liquor the worst.
When she attacked Kelly in her drunken rage, I thought of Clinton
Sue looked like a drunk House Manager, bitter from being beaten so badly,
lashing out with the kind of hate you can't buy off-the-shelf at your local store.
Yep, first voter was Gervase and he said he was going to
vote for Rich,
but changed his mind when he saw the vicious attack on Kelly by Sue.
Impeachment - all over again.
That one blonde joker asked them to pick a number between one
There was $900,000 riding on that flippant question, it turns out.
Rich's closing arguement was the best.
"Vote for me, it's a goddamn game, and I played it the best."
You notice, with Clinton president, all the castaways came home.
There hasn't been a single castway casualty since Clinton's been president.
So, the "fat naked fag," won the million dollars.
I thought gay rights came out a winner in this, too.
Rich proved gay people are just like "normal" people with their faults
and their nutty little idiosynchrocies.
(That's the first time I've ever written that word. How'd I do?)
Rudy's attitude towards gays spoke for tens of millions of Americans.
He said he didn't want to have anything to do with Rich and his gayness
but when it came down to it, he gave his word and that's all Rich needed.
At the afterparty, Rudy stayed in character, and that was so funny.
When that idiot Gumble asked him if Rich and the island had caused him
to re-think his homophobia, Rudy said "No," which was a funny thing to say,
but you could tell Rudy learned something from all this.
With any luck, maybe America did, too.
There's just no reason to hate gays, at least not as a group.
If you meet a bad gay person, hate them all you want,
but wait till you have a reason to start the hate, y'know?
Also, did you notice they sat Rudy between the two fighting women?
If a scuffle broke out, they wanted to be sure they had a Navy Seal between
the two women so nobody got really hurt - ha ha.
Then Gumble-the-idiot introduced Collen as "America's Sweetheart."
Sure, out of the women on the island, she was the only one on my "to do" list,
but that hardly makes her "America's Sweetheart." Just like Gumble to fuck up
with his toot-my-own-horn bombast like he was some kind of ditto-monkey.
Then they showed previews from the next Survivor in Australia.
It looked great, didn't it? The scenery, I mean.
:Looked like a mini-Grand Canyon.
That first show, broadcast right after St Louis kicks Denver's ass in the
2001 Super Bowl will have hueueueueuege ratings. The original Survivor started
with 15,000,000 viewers and built up to last night's 45,000,000.
The Australian premier should start at 45,000,000 and grow if it's worthy.
So, who were the winners? Besides CBS and Viacom?
Rich, the fat, naked fag got his million. I can't tell if he's marketable on Madison
Avenue because if Mrs. Bartcop's impressions are correct, and they usually are,
(that's how she found me) Rich won't been seen on any Wheaties boxes anytime soon.
Rudy came out on top, character-wise.
Sticking to his word will, I predict, put more than a million dollars in his pocket.
Sean has three agents, a book coming out, an appearance on Guiding
and a movie deal in the works. On top of that, now he's famous, good-looking,
he's a doctor and he told Howard Stern he had a really long penis - and he's 30!
So much for "life is fair."
Colleen will get some gigs, I'm sure, because men do most of the
hiring and she's cute,
but Kelly won't do as well. Kelly's word seems tarnished now, which isn't fair.
Sue, meanwhile, came off like Linda fucking Tripp, so she's outta
And think about those poor bastards who got kicked right at first.
For decades, they'll be saying "I was on the first Survivor" and nobody will
remember them so they'll be called liars the rest of their lives.
But a half-hearted thanks to CBS for taking the gamble.
Harry Shearer (Principal Skinner) said this show single-handedly took control
out of the TV executive's hands and proved a show can be a big hit without
paying Marcy-Carsey or Warner Brothers multi-mullions for it.
Blair Witch did it for movies, Survivor did it for
Right now there's a 12 or 15-year old kid somewhere with a camcorder who just
decided to go into the home-movie TV business and he'll make millions.
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
When Gore's daughter gave her speech
at the convention, she said her dad
would make them toast for breakfast. Isn't that a really huge faux pas?
"Toast" only reminded the viewers that
AlGore was toast.
Pigboy, you've said a lot of really, really stupid things since
your series of strokes began,
but that's probably the stupidest thing you've said this whole millenium.
If you were a human being, I'd feel sorry for you...
Here's the deal:
We had two readers pick Rich to win, but since there was only
Classic '69 Corvette to give away, they've come to an agreement.
It started with, strangely enough, Rich at email@example.com
He picked Rich the Survivor to win, so he won a piece of the Vette.
But Sabutai at firstname.lastname@example.org also picked Rich, so I thought
we were going to have a problem - and then things got worse.
Since there was only one Vette, Rich and Sabutai got together
Sabutai just bought a fancy-ass van, and didn't need the Corvette,
so Rich agreed to send Sabutai $16,000 to keep the $32,000 Vette.
Rich said he didn't want a yellow Vette, said he wanted
a white one.
He's in New York, so I called a dozen Classic Corvette dealers in the
New York area, and found a Classic '69 in white at Long Island Vettes.
So I traded the yellow Vette for the white one (and $6,000) and had them
deliver the Vette to Rich. He's happy.
Sabutai says he got his $16,000 certified check, so he's happy.
Everybody's happy - Oh, Happy Day!
So, you see, it pays to enter the contests at bartcop.com
Seeing this picture made me think.
In the late 1930's, Adolph Hitler ordered the systematic elimination
of the Jewish people, ending with over 6,000,000 dead.
Would today's GOP call that "hate crime,"
or would they consider it merely murder?
Subject: James Higdon???
Hey, who is that guy?
I thought he had a great story but he isn't referenced.
Sonny, I'm not sure, but I'm glad you asked that question.
He sent me that, it was published on onlinejournal.com
It would've been better, and easier just to link his article,
but the ongoing problem with that is someday onlinejournal.com
will take it down, and in the years and decades to come, when scholars
are surfing thru the bartcop.com archives, if they click that link
all they'll get is a blank.
So I copied his article and pasted it to a new page I created.
I meant to give onlinejournal.com the mention, but got tangled up.
(I get tangled up a lot, lately.)
And before somebody suggests I copy the whole onlinejournal.com
the 10-15 little graphics that are supposed to come with the page can be
a nightmare to a mental dwarf like myself, so I just grab the text.
If someone has a suggestion - let me know.
If Our Military is Gutted,
Who Did It?
Cheney crafted military budget cuts
By KAREN GULLO
Aug. 23, 2000 | WASHINGTON (AP) -- The shrinking of America's
military, now decried
by George W. Bush as one of the Clinton administration's biggest sins, was pushed by his
running mate Dick Cheney as defense secretary for Bush's father a decade ago.
After the fall of the Berlin Wall -- and with a Congress hungry
for a "peace dividend" --
Cheney in 1990 proposed a gradual 25 percent reduction in the military. He called for
withdrawing tens of thousands of troops from Europe, canceling weapons programs
and removing 442,000 men and women from the military over five years.
When Bush criticized the Clinton-Gore administration this week
"a military in decline," Al Gore pointed a finger at the cuts initiated by the Bush White House.
"I'm proud we finally reversed the defense cuts begun in the previous administration,"
Gore said, asserting that the military is "the strongest and the best in the world."
Former Clinton Defense Secretary William (the Refrigerator) Perry,
said blaming Clinton
for cutting the military leaves out a big piece of the story.
"I think the Bush people might be suffering from a case of amnesia."
Read Previous Issue
Go to bartcop.com