Volume 299 - ...and down the stretch they come!
. October 17, 2000                                             Possible Theory

  TONIGHT  The biggest live event  e-v-e-r  on bartcop.com
  By the way, tonight's debate has the "Town hall" format.
  That means Smirk might get a cocaine question.
  If there's gonna be a "big hammer" night, this will have to be it.

 Great Idea

 From: jeff.makos@tfn.com

Subject: Gore Should CRASH Smirk's Letterman Gig
            -- FORCE A 4th DEBATE

I would love to see Smirk's face when Gore shows up on
the Letterman stage and challenges Bush to debate right there

ha ha

I'll pass the idea to the DC boys...


 I'm not sure why, but in the last few weeks, the local Nazi AM station
 in K-Drag has started Laura's show and El Vulgo's show with a disclaimer:

 "The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of KRMG management."

 Now, before you tell me, "that's standard," they haven't been doing it for a
 long, long time, but I guess Laura's gay-bashing has caused some radio stations
 to distance themselves from her and Pigboy's hate speech to protect themselves.


 From: Pierce708@cs.com

 While I vehemently disagree with your political views,
 I must say you have one hell of a web site.

 Proud Vast Right Wing Conspiracy member,
 John Pierce
 

 John,
 Feel free to get specific on our differences.
 I'd enjoy a high-road debate.

 bc



 Now I'm pissed

 I'm asking everyone who reads this to help me locate a Rush-friendly web site
 where questions are taken, such as we take them here at  bartcop.com

 In all of cyberspace, there's not one web site that defends Rush
 that will take questions from its readers?

  (Please don't send me rushonline.com
  That spineless pussy has been hiding from me for over a year.
  He's a skirt-wearing mama's boy, hiding behind his urine-colored keyboard.
  Like his hero, he is completely nutless and can't defend a goddamn thing.)

 The reason I'm so pissed off is because that lying Nazi whore did it again.
 In defending the indefensible, Rush tells the biggest lies in the history of politics.

 Today, end of the first hour, he said,
 "There was nothing wrong with Reagan
   secretly selling missles to Iran.
   If there was anything wrong with it,
   why was nobody brought to trial over it?"

 Can you believe that lying son of a bitch?
 In the ditto-monkey world, there were no pardons.
 The ignoratti listen to Rush's version of "history," then are allowed to vote?

  I realize that I have a massive ego.
 You can't offer comedy to people if you don't think you're funny.

  Sidebar:
  And that self-effacing bullshit that my IQ is only 64?
  That's all bullshit and everybody knows it.
  I've been tested as high as 70 after eating a Snickers bar.

 But as big as my ego is, I can't believe I have the ONLY PAGE on the entire
 goddamn internet that allows the other side to speak.

 Can this be?

 Is  bartcop.com  the ONLY political web page out of 50,000,000 web pages
 that takes questions from people with dissenting opinions?

 Here are the choices:

 A. bartcop.com is so great, so unique, so smart and brave and ahead-of-its time
          that there isn't a single counterpart run by a Republican anywhere, because
          everyone knows Republicans are living a lie and CAN'T defend shit,

      or

 B. BartCop is dead wrong, and there ARE conservative web pages that answer
         questions from non-sheep and the URLs for those sites are listed here:

     1.______________________________
     2.______________________________
     3.______________________________

 Please let me be wrong on this.
 Please tell me there is a person on the Internet who will take my questions.
 Please tell me my ego is out of control, and there are DOZENS of political
 pages run by those with opposing opinions that aren't too chicken-shit to debate.
 Koresh, please send me the URL of some Republican who will shut me up
 and put me in my place once and for all..

 Please tell me I'm wrong.

 And if you find such a web page, right after you send me the URL,
 send them a message that I'll be there in two minutes and I want today's
 giant Pigboy lie defended by whoever is their best.

 Is there not anybody on the Internet who can defend Limbaugh?


 More smoke from the lying reich-wing

 In today's Ollie North-Paul Begala Equal Time newsletter,
 Ollie the Traitor asks about "Al's pals in Tehran & Moscow."
 Yeah, that's right.
 Gore has friends in Tehran, you big traitor!

 That's why Bush pardoned Gore, to hide Gore's Iran crimes, you putz!

 It's funny, I've never read one of Ollie's rants before, but I read this one
 and it was verbatim the same rant Pigboy had today in the first hour.
 Pigbpoy always swears he's not reading from the RNC's faxes,
 but he's been caught lying so many times he can't be trusted for anything.

 And Ollie the Traitor is such a liar, even Nancy Reagan calls him one.



 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tonight night.

What was the purpose of sealing your driver's record
 and issuing yourself a new (clean) number?
 

Governor, your campaign managers have stolen John F. Kennedy's style
for you to copy. First, who are you?  Second, why would you copy a democrat
president instead of a republican such as the party's hero, Ronny Reagan?
Better yet, why don't you copy your father?
 

Should (God Forbid) you be elected, do you think it would be right
for the Democrats to spend the next 8 years and $50 million trying
to find some way to overturn your election?
 

Is there a difference between yourself and an abortion doctor?
It seems you can both end a life legally.
 

You have said you'll defend private property owners against government
encroachment.  What about that family in Arlington, TX whom you and
your buddies had evicted in order to make that ballpark a reality?
 

Does it puzzle you why the Arabs and Israelis can't settle
their differences in a Christian manner?

 ha ha

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
  We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Only hours left - send in your question for Smirk!


 From: (withheld)

 I don't suppose you could lean on the folks hosting your message board
 about not displaying the IP address of posters? Not that I think repugs
 would ever do anything vindictive like a ping flood just because they were
 bested in an argument or anything. There's just some creeps out there
 (crackers, not hackers) and unzipping everyone's fly like that is a
 really uncool thing for the host to be doing.

 Unless of course they're hosting a party for Matt Glavin....

 I don't know Smirk about that,
 but I'm sure  genslab@genslab.com  will see this and clarify.



 I've gotten a lot of mail asking if I've heard about Gov Carnahan's death.
 Yes, I have, but it's not funny.

 Being a strange person, I first thought of Marc Perkel.
 (Publisher/founder of  bartcop.com)

 Marc ran for the US Senate from Missouri this year.
 He ran as a Republican, and was defeated in the primary by that insane
 religio-prick John ASScroft.  (R-Captain in the Cock-Hunt Army)

 Sidebar:
 Remember during the height on the cock hunt, Ashcroft took the lead
 in DEMANDING each detail of each sexual laison. No matter how many
 hundreds of pages Hardon Kenneth devoted to the subject of Monica's genitalia,
 Ashcroft said, "We must have - more details, more details," the pervert.

 So Perkel got 15% of the vote, running on ideas and no money.
 Perkel said he would "straighten out" the GOP if he was their candidate.
 His strategy, which I thought was very sound, was that if Smirk picked
 ditto-monkey Ashcroft to join him on his loser-ticket, Perkel would be
 elevated to front-runner status in the Missouri GOP.
 Here comes the really cool part:

 If Perkel suddenly became a voice of the Missouri GOP, he was going to
 apologize for their never-ending Nazi hate, for their constant race-baiting,
 for their never-ending cock hunt, for their efforts to keep inner-city blacks
 from getting a college education by killing Affirmative Action programs etc etc etc.

 Had things been different, had the prick been killed, instead of the good guy,
 it might've been a GOP-backed Perkel vs. Carnahan on November 7th.

 But no.


 From: billie@kingmanaz.net

 you are sick..
 Barrett S.

  So, I'm considered "sick" by the people in Kingman, Arizona?

  I've been to your town, reich-person.
  Kingman, Arizona - more nazi's per square mile than Furhman, Idaho.
  On your "Welcome" sign coming into town, it says, "nigers stay out."

  I consider that an honor, reich-person.
  Do me a favor, write, "BartCop stay out" on that sign, too, would you?


 Great TV Critic Quotes

 The final presidential debate is on ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS,
 CNN, C-SPAN, but not, once again, on Fox.  I'd ask why Fox feels
 exempt from all public service but perhaps that's a question better
 left to Congress the next time someone from the Fox media empire
 comes to Washington to request another waiver of some station-ownership regulation.
             -- Robert Bianco, USA Today



Subject: again with the selective editing for your own gains

              (do not publish this email address)

    I'm so sorry you entirely misunderstand, and then further, misrepresent every damn thing
I send to you. Really is a shame and disgrace on your part. I guess the only people that can
curry favor with you are the mindless-pro-whoever-the-"democratic"-candidate-is-no-matter
-how-inept (apparently integrity, ideals, and the effects on people really don't mean much to you).

 (Ediotr's Note: suck me.)

    Notice by replacing word in string, we refer to party-monkeys who go for Bush:
    I'm "not a team player," you say.
    Damn, you really are a jock, aren't you.
    It's all a damn game to you.
    Comfy in your middle class, sedated with a few toys.

    You bitch so much about the GOP (as one should), and yet seem to have no
problem with those figureheads you rally behind integrating themselves with
your enemies. This doesn't bother you in the least?

    You call true progressive liberals who remain true to their consciences, ideologies,
and hold on to their integrity the traitors. But you rally behind those that shake hands,
make friends with, adopt the ideologies of, and then join the other side.
Now, honestly, who are the traitors?

But then, you're a centrist.
Centrists tend to have more contempt for the left than they do for the right.
You seem to.

    However, you're backwards in your pretty little win-at-all-costs jock head,
or just flat out lying, if you say those you support are not the traitors, and you know it!

  ha ha

    Alright, now, selectively edit me, misinterpret and misrepresent me
(because, the people who read this can't think for themseleves), then mock me.
 Be a good little jock.

 Cheffy,
 You send me multi-pages of e-mail, often, then bitch if I only print parts of it?
 How arrogant to think that every long-winded, anti-Gore rant that pops
 into your excited brain deserves publication on someone else's humor page.
 Your neck must be very strong to support the weight of your head.

 It's all a damn game to you.

 No, it's a humor page, Einstein, and your "it's-not-fair" hysteria isn't funny.
 I need to re-think my policy of publishing each critical letter.

 Like Tim Russert, you need a different hobby.
 Perhaps you'd have a better time arguing with the Freepers?



Subject: Where Ms. Rice?

Everyone is asking where Ms. Rice is.
Maybe we need to check and see if she is in the Middle East stirring up the pot?

Maybe she's promised Araffat a blow job if he keeps the unrest up, thus
causing the oil prices to skyrocket (and make W.'s Oil Buddies that much richer)

Or maybe W. knocked her up?

Mark


 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tonight night.

 Governor, have you asked anyone on your staff to have an abortion this year?

 Governor, would you want your business dealings and personal
 problems of the last 25 years subjected to the scrutiny of an
 over-zealous, partisan special prosecuter the way the GOP did
 to president and his wife for the last six years?
 

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
  We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Only hours left - send in your question for Smirk!



 So, my St Louis Cardinals are thru with baseball this year.
 I was pulling for them to win last night, especially after God told me
 there'd be no subways involved in the World Series this year.

 I'm sure if I had the chance to ask Him what happened,
 He'd mention something about "free will," and tell me all the
 secrets would be revealed to me once I was dead.

 Y'know, there are other baseball/religion parables.
 Take the Chicago Cubs, for instance.

 Every year, the FAITH of the Cub's fans tells them "this is the year,"
 that they'll win the World Series. But the logic of the situation tells their
 science-based fans that's not going to happen anytime soon, if ever.

 What would you say if a fellow came along and demanded ten percent of
 your gross earnings for the rest of your life, because you're a Cubs fan.

 ...and,

 ...he guaranteed you that the Cubs would win the World Series
 the year after you died. Would you sacrifice your logic for his promises
 and give him ten percent of your money and follow his crazy rules?
 No, you would never do that, because that would show insanity on your part.

 When you step back from the superstitions your parents and your church
 drilled into your head before you could speak, talk, read or reason,
 those wild, illogical stories suddenly turn to children's fairy tales.

 Studies have shown that infants can recognize when they're in church.
 The droning of the pipe organ.
 The smell of the frankincense.
 The hushed tones, the singing, the choir, the chanting.
 All that gets drilled into your head before you have a chance to defend yourself.

 It's a strong, deeply-rooted anchor that's very hard to escape.

 ...and if you disagree, I can prove it, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

 Send me ten percent of your money from now on and I guarantee
 the Cubs will win the World Series the year after you die.

 See?

 You DO believe me...



 Believe me, I'm more tired of the word, "whore" than you are,
 but until people change, shouldn't I call a spade a spade?

 Tonight on Nightline, the ABC whores had everything fucking backwards.
 They introduced their show on the Middle East calling it, "A Legacy in Danger,"
 as tho Clinton's historical perspective was more important than a monster war.

 Explaining how hard it is to talk sense to these hot-blooded religio-wackos,
 ABC said, "When Barak left for lunch, his entourage seemed so forlorn,
 the reporters thought he was leaving the talks to go home."

 Oh, gee!

 Things seemed so bad, Jimmy Olsen assumed shit that wasn't true?
 Jesus, I'm so shocked.

 They showed footage of Clinton looking beat-to-hell.
 Clinton can outlast anybody at anything, so if he's looking downbeat,
 things must not be going the way we'd like. The other thing I thought of
 was how impossible it would be for shit-for-brains Smirk to be involved in this.

 Like Reagan, Smirk would say, "You guys work it out," and leave it to his aides
 or someone who understood the problem, which Smirk obviously doesn't.

 It's scary to hear the way Smirk runs Texas.  Someone comes to him with
 a 300-page report on an important issue, and before they leave his office,
 Smirk says, "Tell me what's in that report," instead of reading it, himself.

 What a lazy asshole.
 And he thinks he's earned the presidency?

 You know he did that with those condemned men, too.
 "Give me the summary," is Smirk's most-often used phrase.

 After all, there are golf balls to be hit
 and there are naps to be taken.
 

 Lazy, ignorant, brain-dead momma's boy.



From: mcgriffy@io.com

Bartcop,

Let's ignore for a minute duty to country or any contract Bush may have
signed with the guard.  What could possibly be more fun than flying jet
fighters?  I would cut my hair, wear their funny suit, and say yessir a
bunch of times if they would let me fly their planes.  So what could the
shrub have been up to that was more fun than being a fighter jock?

Oh, wait, there is that little habanero story ... nevermind ...

DMcG

ha ha


 They know he's guilty, but they won't write about it.

 Click  Here

 Excerpt:
 Where is the New York Times famed Whitewater reporter, Jeff Gerth?
 Where’s the Washington Post special investigations unit?
 Where is Matt Drudge?


 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tonight night.

 Governor Bush, at the first debate you called Gore's characterization
 of your tax cut proposal "fuzzy math". When pressed about it on GMA
 the next day you admitted that he was right (explaining that rich people
 pay a lot of taxes so should get the bulk of your tax cut).
 Were you lying at the debate or on GMA?
 

 If you become President, how many other world leaders
 will you falsely accuse of criminal activities?
 How many of those will have nuclear weapons at their disposal?
 

 Governor Bush, Can you state without any reservation that
 no one connected to your campaign has been in contact with
 either the president of Palestine or the prime minister of Israel,
 or any oil companies in that region?
 

 Do Condescending Rice and Gen. Mai Lai Powell
 have to ride on the back of  the plane?
 

 In your opinion,
 How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
 Could you repeat the question back to me?
 

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
  We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Only hours left - send in your question for Smirk!



 From: harlene@kopp.com

 Subject: It's All Pigboy's Fault!!

 In the Sunday sports section of the Chicago Sun Times,
 Norman Chad (NFL Forecast) writes the following:

"To drown out boos, Bears QB Cade McNown
  tunes his helmet radio to Rush Limbaugh.
  Pick: Vikings."

 Now we know why the Chicago Bears are ONE and SIX!!!!

 NanaLeni


 Dress the Reagans!


 Ask BartCop

 From: trussert@nbc.com

 Dear BartCop,

 My keyboard no longer works because of all the dried semen on it.
 Can you tell me the best way to clean it?

 Thanks,

 Tim Russert
 

 <heavy sigh...>

 No, Tim, I can't.
 But I can tell you that you need a different goddamn hobby,
 one that doesn't include President Clinton's cock, you perverted bastard!

 I left the Catholic Church before they covered masturbation, but it's my best guess
 it's a sin - big time - especially when you're using a married man's cock to get off.
 Do you realize you're more addicted to Clinton's cock than Ann Coulter?

 Tim, I have one thing to say - "New hobby," OK?
 Say it after me, "New hobby."

 Russert: "Clinton's cock."

 <heavy sigh...>



 When was the last time you checked out onlinejournal.com?

 They are bomb.
 They are def.
 They are street.


 Smirk angers Byrd family with his galling ignorance

 Full Story

 Excerpt:
 The Byrd family said that they weren't surprised Bush got the details of the case wrong
 in the second debate with Gore. Unlike other Texas public officials -- they cite local mayors,
 Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, R-Texas, and President Clinton -- Bush was never remotely
 comforting to their family after Byrd's grisly murder, they say.

"I wasn't surprised that he didn't know," says sister Betty Boatner, 46.
 "I wasn't surprised at all."

"Bush should have known" the details of the trial, says Stella Byrd, James's mother.
"But I wasn't surprised about his reaction." She says Bush showed no concern when
  her granddaughter talked to him in May 1999 to try to persuade Bush to support the
  James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act.
 "So I'm sure with that lack of interest, he didn't ask to see what was going on."



 From: (withheld)

 If Gore loses this election, we can safely say that this characterizes,
 and is because of, Gore's and the DLC New Democrat's total ineptness.
 If Gore loses this election, it will be just that...not Dumbya winning, but Gore losing.
 My guess is the DLC will then fall apart, as it should anyway.

  I now have no indecisiveness whatsoever about voting for Ralph Nader.
"A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush."
 Bullshit.

 Like I said, Gore should be wiping the floor with W., and 5% or so should make no
 difference. But no, Gore is tying, regardless of Nader, and it is his own damn fault.
 It will be extremely pathetic, and already is now, when any democrat blames Nader
 and his supporters for Gore's loss.
 No, the loss will lie squarely on Gore's and the DLC's inept shoulders.

 You confuse me in many ways.
 1. Our football team is ahead with 3 minutes to go and we have the ball,
     and you're planning the best way to fire the coach.
     When Gore wins by 6, what will you do with that doom & gloom?

 2. This is the closest race in 40 years, and you say 5% won't make a difference?
     Let me guess: Are you Catholic?

 3. There you go again, blaming Gore for a loss that isn't.

     You can vote for Nader and still be a good guy,
     but you'd understand if we said you weren't a team player, right?


 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tomorrow night.
 

 How come you can't bring a gun into the Alamo,
 but you can bring a gun into a church or hospital in Texas?
 

 How many joints are in a lid?
 

 Is it true that Condoleeza is being held in a Texas Jail,
 and can't have a phone call or visitors until Nov 8th?
 

 Do you think a person who has snorted cocaine
 has the character to be President?
 

 Why are all those nasty people so upset about
 your being AWOL in Alabama while in the guard?
 

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
  We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Less than 20 hours left - send in your question for Smirk!



From: tjgarrett@home.com

Subject: Great Gore Speech in Detroit

I was just watching C-SPAN and saw Algore in Detroit, giving a speech at a college.
It was the best I've ever seen him...he was simply inspiring.  I've never heard him
so emotional...it was truly Clintonesque.

The greatest line was a story about a guy who had had a heart attack...a doctor saved
his life by using a defibulator on him.  The bill came from the HMO...they said they
wouldn't pay for it because it was *unnecessary*!  He said that maybe Republicans
consider a heart to be unnecessary, but we don't!

Anyway, you're still the greatest Bartcop on the Internet, and I read you top to bottom every night.
Can't wait for the BIG EVENT Tuesday night.
If Gore's anything like he was in that speech I just saw,
he'll put some serious whoop-ass on the idiot we have for a governor.

...please Koresh, let it be so...

Jack in Dallas
 

Maybe Beastmaster Gore will show up tonight.



 http://www.sess.net/gamezone/a/a_coke_index.shtml


 From: WilliamL15@prodigy.net

Subject: Another presidential quiz

 Every president since Washington has had the right to declare lands
 as national monuments in order to protect them.
 Guess which three never declared any lands as national monuments?

 1. Richard Nixon
 2. Ronald Reagan
 3. GHW Bush


 Great MNF Quotes

 Did you see that second debate between Gore and Bush?
 It was like watching Ben Stein read The Story of O out loud.
   --  Dennis Miller


 Today's Page Two Girl is either an actress or a model

 Click  Here



From: isaac3rd@mediaone.net

bc,

I just thought of a quote from George Carlin.
It goes something like this:

Think how stupid the average person is.
That means half the people out there are stupider than that!

Do you think that might have anything to do with why so many people
seem to think that Smirk would be a good president?
 

ha ha

Yes.



 October 16, 2000

 Rarely do I understand what the hard reich is thinking,
 but today on K-Drag Nazi radio, every time they take a break from Pigboy's show,
 which is every ten goddamn minutes, the news guy comes on and says,

 "There is  STILL  no breakthru in peace talks in the Middle East,"

 ...as tho Clinton promised a break by noon, and they're checking him
 every ten minutes waiting for the announcement that 4,000 years of
 I-hate-you-because-you-read-a-different-book hostility has finally ended.

 I guess if they handle it this way, they can say, "Clinton failed again!"


 Great Republican Quotes

 "There needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling,
    which is illiterate children."
     -- Second debate with President Gore, Oct. 11, 2000


 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tomorrow night.

 Smirkins, if someone dragged your daddy from the back of a truck,
 would you be a teensy bit more interested in a hate-crimes bill?
 
 

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
  We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Only 26 hours left - send in your questions!


 An R-rated picture for you.

 Don't whine about how you got "ambushed."
 I'm telling you now, this is rated "R."

 Click  Here


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "You have to go back to the 70's to find the 'real' Al Gore."

 Is that how we play the game?
 Go back three, no FOUR decades to find the "real" person?

 OK, let's try that with the vulgar Pigboy.

 Ok, we've gone back to the 70's and found the "real" Jeff Christie.
 (That was his name when this was taken)

 You satisfied, now, Polyester Pigboy?


 Great Republican Quotes

 "When I'm president, we'll work on a framework for peace
    in the Middle East on THEIR timetable, not mine."
      -- Smirk, second debate

 Somebody told Smirk that would be a great shot against Clinton,
 and Pigboy thought it was the greatest thing Smirk ever said.

 Excuse me, Maja-Blowhole, but the reason the Camp David summit
 was called in such a hurry wasn't so Clinton could put a feather in his cap.
 It was because that moron Arafat said he was going to declare a
 Palestinian state in September, in which case we'd probably have a bigger
 mess on our hands than we have thanks to Sharon the Provacateur.

 President Clinton understands prevention - say it with me - prevention,
 something that's lost on the Republicans, and if you don't believe me,
 as one of the hundred thousand men with Gulf War Syndrome.

 <heavy sigh>

 When ol' BartCop understands the subtleties of the Middle East peace
 negotiations better than a presidential candidate - we're all in a lot of trouble...


 I found a rare picture - thought I'd share.
 It's a picture of Darva Conger with clothes on!
 I am not kidding.

 Click  Here


 Great Republican Quotes

"I think if you know what you believe,
 it makes it a lot easier to answer questions.
 I can't answer your question."
   -- Smirk, when asked if he wished he could
       take back any of his answers in the first debate.


 From: Howard Kurtz, Washington Post

 Gore makes the pundit class flash back to high school?

 "Still the hard-working student once trotted out
   by his parents to please the grownup guests"
    --Time's Nancy Gibbs

 "He reverts to his smartest-guy-in-the-class mode,
   impressing the teacher with factoids for extra credit"
   --Time's Margaret Carlson, same issue

 "Clearly the smartest boy in the class,
   ready to show off his stuff on just about any subject"
    --Cokie the Whore and Steve Roberts

 "He slipped into his smartest-kid-in-the-class mode,
   a quality that has damaged him in the past"
   --New York Daily News

 "Gore . . . can't resist the urge to behave like the smartest kid
    in class--you know,  the one who is constantly raising his hand and
    shouting the answer before the teacher finishes asking the question"
    --Fort Worth Star-Telegram

 "The first debate displayed Gore at his most medicinal,
    his apple-polishing, hall-monitor worst"
     --The Washington Post's Marjorie Williams

 "A Teacher's Pet from hell"
    --New York Whore Times's Maureen Dowd

 "The obnoxious smartest guy in class"
    --Fox News's Fred Barnes
 

 I agree.
 We need to punish the smartest guy in the class and reward
 the smirking moron who forgot he was supposed to study.
 The last thing we want to find out is which guys has the answers.

 Why should we hand the planet over to someone who's qualified?
 Let's go with the guy who doesn't know the answers, instead
 

      Vroooom!
    Vroooooooom!!


 As seen on  bartcop.com  Click  Here

 DNA Test Clears Texas 'Murderer' and 'Accomplice'

 Threatened with a death penalty charge, an innocent man confessed to a crime he didn't
 commit in order to save his life,  then he was forced to testify against his 'accomplice.'

 Then, an inmate sent Gov. Bush a letter in 1998 taking responsibility,
 which he ignored, because it would've "cost" him an execution.

 Full Story

 ...and some people want this ass to be president?


 Smirk has always loved killing things.  During his 1994 campaign for governor,
 he went dove hunting.  When told that the bird he had shot was a killdeer,
 a protected songbird, he had to pay a $130 fine.

 It just goes to prove an old NRA saying,
 "Sometimes the wrong target gets hit."


 From: The LA Times

The Economic Sweepstakes Quiz
The rules are simple:
Guess which president since World War II did best on these eight generally
accepted measures of good management of the nation's economy.

You can choose among five Republicans (Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Red-Ink and Bush)
and five Democrats (Truman, JFK, LBJ, Carter and Clinton).

 Which president produced:
 1. The largest growth in the gross domestic product?
 2. The largest growth in jobs?
 3. The biggest increase in personal disposable income after taxes?
 4. The largest growth in industrial production?
 5. The biggest rise in hourly wages?
 6. The lowest Misery Index (inflation plus unemployment)?
 7. The lowest inflation?
 8. The largest reduction in the deficit?

 The answers are:
 1. Truman
 2. Carter
 3. Johnson
 4. Kennedy
 5. Johnson
 6. Truman
 7. Truman
 8. Clinton

 But nevermind all those fuzzy numbers - elect Smirk,
 because the Republicans "know what they're doing."




 What's up with Smirk and white men?

 Click  Here


 U.S. Murder Rate Falls to Lowest Level Since 1966

 Thank you, Bill Clinton.

 ...and Rush gave us his word that the extra cops and the Brady Bill
 "would have no effect at all on the crime rate."

 ha ha

 Rush would kill to have the credibilty if Chippy the Chimp.



 Election time becomes battle of (urban) legends
 BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

 For one brief shining moment, Hillary Clinton did a very brave thing
 in her debate with Rick Lazio last Sunday morning.

 It happened when moderator Marcia Kramer of WCBS-TV funneled a
 question to the candidates that had been submitted via e-mail.

 "I'd like to ask you how you stand on federal bill 602P," Kramer said.

 With refreshing candor, Clinton said: "I have no idea what it is."
 At last, a candidate who didn't try to steamroll through the moment by
 resorting to rhetoric and double-talk. God bless America!

 But then Kramer elaborated. "Under the bill that's now before Congress,
 the U.S. Postal Service will bill e-mail users 5 cents for each e-mail they send,
 even though the Post Office provides no service."

 "Based on your description, I wouldn't vote for that bill," said Clinton.

 (Editor's Note: Notice how she handled that?
   She refused to fall for the trick, but when The Lick took the bait,
   the hook came out thru his right eye - it was really ugly.)

 Lazio chimed in: "I am absolutely opposed to this.
 This is an example of the government's greedy hand in
 trying to take money from taxpayers that it has no right to."

 ha ha
 Hold on, Rick. We'll get you to the emergency room real quick
 so they can remove that painful hook from your eye, you idiot!

 Well, not quite.
 Actually it's an example of an urban legend worming its way into Campaign 2000.

 Details of the so-called e-mail tax bill sponsored by a "Congressman Schnell"
 have been circulating on the Internet for at least a year--but there is no
 Congressman Schnell, and there is no federal bill 602P.


 If you go to the Drudge web site, you can read how Juanita Broaddrick
 has teamed up with Matt Drudge so she can follow Paula Jones and Gennifer
 Flowers and Linda Tripp and Dolly Kyle Browning and Kathleen Willey
 (and all the other women who've been promised cash by the money-grubbing
 whore-bastards of the religious-right) into the national spotlight screaming,

 "Look at me, look at me! I'm a victim, I'm a victim!
  Clinton is the devil. The liberals are evil and bad!"

  "How did I do? Do I get paid now?" she'll ask.

  "Not yet, Honey.
    You have to go on 60 Minutes and Fox News before we pay you."

 I have two question:
 Juanita, when will you get your Guess? Jeans endorsement?
 and when will you spread your legs for Penthouse?


 ha ha

 The big stomping is coming - soon.


Lawyers Call for Changes in Death Penalty in Texas

 Full Bush-Death Story

 Excerpt:
 HOUSTON, Oct. 15 — In a broad critique of capital punishment in Texas,
 a new report concludes that the state's death penalty system is in dire need
 of change because of problems like prosecutorial misconduct, racial bias,
 phony experts and inadequate lawyers for poor defendants.

 Another Bush-Death Story

 Excerpt:
 "Guess what?" said George W. Bush, whose home state is already the
 champion of the Western world when it comes to executions.
 "The three men who murdered James Byrd, guess what's going to happen to them?
  They're going to be put to death."  <big smirk>

 There was a disturbing, upbeat quality to the governor's tone as he said this during
 last week's debate with Vice President Al Gore. His face brightened in a way that
 was unsettling to much of the nation. He was so obviously and inappropriately pleased.


 I assume everybody knows this,
 and I almost feel guilty for bringing it up,
 but little Rick the Lick isn't supposed to win his race with Hillary.

 They know he's going to lose, he was never supposed to win.
 Lazio's job is to beat up Hillary so the right-wing can get an erection.
 They know he has no chance to beat her, so they're giving him tens of
 millions of dollars to scream, "Whitewater," and "billing records," and
 "Castle Grande," and :Travel-gate," and "Monica," and all the other buzz words
 that enable blood to flow into their small penises so they can get some kinky jollies

 Think I'm kidding?
 Think this is a BartCop gag?

 Click  Here



 Questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk tomorrow night.

 Governor, I understand that your wife and you were in the final stages
 of adopting a waiting child when she became pregnant with the twins
 and you decided to abort the adoption process.
 Would you describe that as, "a child left behind"?
 

 Two (or three) white supremicist murderers have been sentenced to die in Texas.
 Are you worried about losing two of your core constituents this late in the campaign?
 

 How many people have you refused to pardon, even temporarily, from
 lethal injection while you have been governer?
 

 Send in more questions the PEOPLE should ask Smirk!
 We have readers in St Louis, this could actually work :)

 Only 30 hours left - send your questions!


 ...and now, a word from our sponsor.


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Vote Bush on Nov 7th

This ad paid for by the abortion providers of Tijuana, Matamoros, Montreal and Vancouver.


 Reward for whoever can put the best pants on Nancy
 and the best-looking skirt or frilly dress on Red-Ink.



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