Have you purchased your
If the government suspends gun sales, it'll be too late.
Then, only ditto-monkeys will have guns.
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Watching CNN, Frank Sesno, who I think is one of the only non-whores in the
entire journalistic "profession," says he talked to a "senior elder" in the GOP.
This elder told Sesno he talked to a Democratic senior elder about co-writing
an op-ed piece calling for calm.
After the two talked, they both agreed both sides were past that
that both sides were much too angry to be talked into being calm.
Smirk, the wonder dog was on TV earlier, basically saying he was
Have you ever seen a man act less presidential in your whole life?
Smirk said, 'The Supreme Court changed
the rules - after the election."
That's Pigboy-talk, but as I've been predicting for years, Pigboy is taking over.
Whatever Rush says at noon, the GOP will say at 2 PM.
Rush is - dare I say it? - bigger than Matt Drudge now.
For reasons I can't fully explain, Rush has become the darling
of Tim Russert,
Wolf the whore and Brian Williams. That means anything Rush grunts is
treated as holy dogma by NBC, CNN, FOX (obviously) and MCNBC.
I heard Rush say today:
"When Mayor Daley "stole" the 1960 election,
at least he had the decency
to do it under the cover of darkness. Gore, along with the 'Gore Court'
don't even have the decency to steal this in the dark. They're doing it
right before our eyes, right under our noses,"
as he primes the pump for a full-scale riot by armed ditto-monkees.
...and you don't own a gun?
We got trouble.
I can't hold them all off by myself.
I fear what will happen is Gore will withdraw, in some wacko King
to prevent the riots from actually occurring.
Think that can't/won't happen?
The only other way out of this mess is to do what I said two weeks ago:
Skisics Scores Again
Besides everything else, today is November 22nd.
It's Not His Death That I Prefer
by James Higdon email@example.com
It was only days before my
seventh birthday. My father took me to downtown San Jose,
California to peruse the local toy stores. Dad wanted to be sure that his youngest son got what
he wanted for his birthday. Downtown had never been quite so crowded. Police were out in force,
directing traffic, and pushing people back from the street on to the sidewalk. I asked my father if
there was going to be a parade. I remember the sound of the crowd cheering, although I couldn't tell
what they were cheering for. The sound started some distance down the street, and grew louder as
it approached my father and me, at slightly faster than a walking pace. All that I could see were the
backs of the excited and the curious lining the street.
"Dad, what's goin' on?"
"Don't know," he said, as he lifted me on his shoulders so that I could see.
A motorcade with large black limousines, pushed slowly in our direction. A man sat in the back
of one, a convertible, and waived to the crowd on either side of the street as he passed. A pretty woman
in a "pill box" hat sat next to him.
"I think that's Kennedy," my Dad shouted to me over the roar.
That was just a little over
forty years ago, during what must have been a campaign stop for
Kennedy prior to the California primaries. After his death, some three and a half years later, the
pundits told us that we would always remember where we were when we heard that Kennedy had
been assassinated. Yes, I remember coming in from the school yard to find my fifth grade teacher
crying at her desk. She told her pupils that the president was dead, and that we would all be sent
home for the remainder of the day. So the pundits were right, but it is not John Fitzgerald Kennedy's
death that I prefer to remember.
It was JFK's life, and particularly
his short presidency, that taught me the meaning of political
character and outlined my principles. It was JFK's vision that transformed me from the wide eyed child,
perched on his father's shoulders, to the middle-aged man who taps out this commentary. Yet I am humbled,
at this moment, as the realization strikes me that I am almost exactly the same age now as Kennedy was
when he died. Just how small is my contribution at this same point in life?
Kennedy taught me that while
individual liberties must be protected in our republic, liberty is always
issued with attendant responsibility. Our prosperity is only truly realized when we reach down to the hand
holding the rung beneath our feet. We are not heard if we fail to listen to the quiet voice crying beneath
the din. We cannot celebrate our heritage and culture if we insist on smothering it in a cloak of ethnocentrism.
Ultimately, Kennedy taught me that I do not wear my ideals but instead, my ideals wear me. I am their tool,
and they are not mine.
With no real mandate, Kennedy
reached out to a broad constituency, and asked that the American
people extend beyond their own lives to offer a hand of friendship to struggling third world nations. Kennedy
offered us the compassion of the Peace Corps, and the excitement of the race to the moon. All the while he
pushed us. He asked us not to do things "because the are easy, but because they are hard." Outlining the
"New Frontier" while accepting the Democratic nomination for president, Kennedy made no promises,
but challenged us instead.
The New Frontier of which
I speak is not a set of promises¯it is a set of challenges.
It sums up not
what I intend to offer the American people, but what I intend to ask of them.
(July 15, 1960)
And Kennedy never failed
to remind us of the responsibilities that each of us hold to our fellow
Americans. "If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich."
Over the last eight years, we have rediscovered prosperity, and the question lies before us:
what will we do with it? The question is left to be answered by an incoming administration and congress.
The answers will mark how this generation is forever viewed by history. Kennedy would remind us that
"of those to whom much is given, much is required*" and "when*the high court of history sits in judgment
on each of us*our success or failure*will be measured by the answer to four questions."
In the context of what every
American citizen owes to every other American; and in the context of
what the United States of America owes to the world, let us reflect on these four questions now, and again
four years from now, and honestly gauge our progress through time.
First, were we truly men
of courage*Second, were we truly men of judgment*Third, were we truly
men of integrity* Finally, were we truly men of dedication?
(January 9, 1961)
These are not questions to
be asked of others, these are questions that we each must ask ourselves.
It has been said that a people get the government they deserve. This government, of the people, by the
people, and for the people requires the participation, the courage, the judgment, the integrity, and the
dedication of each and every one of us.
Why Can't Bush do the Math?
What happened to states' rights?
What happened to the rule of law?
Most of all,
What happened to that "new tone" you were going to bring to Washington?
That was all bullshit, wasn't it, Smirk?
I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win.
Cause my daddy has money,
II'm gonna win, I'm gonna win.
Blowing Holes in GOP Chad Bullshit
Looks like Pickles Smirk has a fan.
Subject: Bush Balls
That's right-Bush Balls; He has to have one very large(that's Texas
sized) pair of balls if he thinks
we'll let him get away with stealing the White House. I often wonder - where's the outrage?
Even my son-in-law thinks Al should back down.
Me? I say go-Al-go.
When I pointed out that Al was only doing what D-Duh-ya planned on doing-expecting
in Al's position-he says "See what I mean? Al Gore will do anything to win!"
Why does that "logic" escape me? Am I too dumb to figure it out-or what?
Fact of the matter is- trying to think that way makes my head hurt-real bad.
Anyway, considering how inept they're bungling the theft-why not
send the Justice Dept.
down to Austin and arrest the whole bunch? Everyone from poppy-traitor down to Prescot Butch
(Yes I include Babs-She birthed the lazy bastard!) Although- the worst they could charge her with
is trying to foist that dumb son-of a-butch on us.(Consumer Fraud?)- Whatever-I'm getting tired of hearing
d-dumb-ya crying about "AlGore's trying to steal my Coronation-wahhh!"
Christ-let the sombitch stay in Austin 'til he grows up enough to be
Prez before he's installed-that should
keep the right wing occupied for at least another 45 years, Being President may be a job that you have
to grow into, but, you have to be an ADULT to start with. As long as poppy and his buddies keep
buying everything for him-he can't grow up. Keep up the good work-BC,you and other libs are water
in the desert in the right wing media Hell we've been living in the last eight years.
Did you hear that lying Smirk today?
"Dick Cheney is in excellent health."
Oh, sure, if you don't count the emergency surgery for the heart
Is President Smirk going to lie his ass off, too?
Like his daddy did?
Subject: Paullette Wimberly, Florida Elector on C-Span
I was unable to sleep last night and while channel surfing saw Paullette
Democratic Elector from Florida on C-Span. This woman was so good,
I thought maybe she had been reading Bartcop. She took on Republican callers
who insulted her speech, level of education and general fitness to be an elector
with grace, wit and a sense of humor and illustrated just how mean spirited
Republicans can be. She also is calling for the Jeb to be thrown out of office
in the next election due to black voter involvement.
All in all, I believe it is a good enough interview to go into the archives,
especially with anything having to do with this sorry election season.
The interview can be located on www.cspan.org, Friday November 17,
Paullette Wimberly and uses Real Player for access.
Who is lying about Florida Law?
Do you think Cheney's heart attack was God's way
of telling us he doesn't want to see a President Smirk?
Subject: A Wise Ass Florida Solution From King Solomon
Instead of dividing the baby, let's just throw the baby out with
the bath water and start anew.
The 1,400 rejected absentees should vote again with the Butterfly Ballot, and the 19,000 Palm
Beach County voters who cast rejected punch card ballots will re-vote as absentees.
Though paperwork and red tape are a way of life in the military,
apparently a simple absentee ballot
which requires name, address, I.D. number, a witness, signature, date of signature and a timely
postmark is beyond the mental capacity of the military mind (Now you also have a partial
explanation for the peculiarities of the Texas National Guard records of Governor Bush). As
Republicans have repeatedly pointed out, punch cards are simple; so simple that even the numbest
nut in military intelligence can easily cast a vote or three for Governor Bush.
By using absentee ballots the Palm Beach voters will have ample
opportunity to consult with an
attorney as to the proper ballot procedures. Any voter who does not have an attorney should have
no difficulty finding a lawyer, since there are currently more lawyers in Palm Beach County than
mosquitoes; though the lawyers will require more blood.
I realize that this proposal will generate yet more controversy.
I anticipate that Karen Hughes, Tim
Russert and other gasbags will allege favoritism on my part towards Palm Beach Jews. I remind any
critics that I can be a "Uniter" or a "Divider" as the situation requires, and my new "Ginsu sword"
has been expressed from Amazon.com. Finally I assume former Secretary of State James Baker will
also strenuously object to my proposal, so I will address his objections right now: "FUCK YOU TOO,
P.S. A reminder that the wisdom of Solomon is not required in
order to acknowledge the obvious fact below:
Election 2000 Results as of 11/19/2000
Candidate / Status / Popular Votes
Al Gore (D)/ Winner / 49,872,710
GW. Bush (R)/ Loser/ 49,654,788
Tony Kornheiser has a good column in the Washington Post
"It's like Don Corleone picked Fredo over Michael."
Subject: Another conservative republican in action
We had a bank robbery in the wealthy suburb of Edina (Minnesota's own
Gross Point) last week.
The robber shot 2 cops(one is ok, the other critical), but you really need to print part of this story on your page.
My favorite part is this, from the robbers mom:
White's mother, Clara, still stunned and sometimes tearful, said Saturday from
her suburban Cleveland home that her son must have been living a double life.
"The thing that is so baffling is that he was
a conservative Republican," she said.
"Everything was law and order with him. He hated criminality.
We just don't know what could have taken him over."
Subject: Analysis of Electoral College
I just calculated how much a vote from each state is worth, compared
much the average American's vote is worth, because of the electoral college.
For example, Wyoming = 3.17, Alaska = 2.45.
I'm sure the entire country would like to see this, to understand how
who got more votes than anyone else could lose an election.
Can you put a link to this, or store it locally on your own page?
People need to see just how much they are getting fucked over by the unfair Electoral College.
Here's some Tally Briggs
I didn't get posted in time.
More from Lo Phat Ham
Today's Page Two Girl is cute enough to be a Playmate
Smirk's brain has heart
Dick Cheney rushed to hospital.
Good God, did they let his wife nag him again?
I'm sure Dick would rather be in the ICU than have to
listen to his wife's constantly harping and nagging.
Yesterday, General Oink said Monton Kondrake s a Democrat!
I think I can agree with that.
Kondrake is just as much a Democrat as Pat Cadell is,
Kondrake is just as much a Democrat as Judas Maximus is,
Kondrake is just as much a Democrat as James Woods is.
Kondrake is just as much a Democrat as Michael Moore is.
Kondrake is just as much a Democrat as Annette Bening is.
Koresh, when in doubt, remember Kondrake works for Fox.
Fox only hires right-wing Nazi's and Judas democrats.
You know the saying: Everyone
has their price.
by Christian Mitchell-Livemore
Like probably many of you, I have been engaged for the last two weeks
in a furious cross-country campaign of e-mails and telephoning over this
Florida election fiasco, rallying the flagging spirits of my friends
and trying to persuade my adversaries.
One friend calls and says he’s scared. What if the recount doesn’t
produce the votes
for Gore, he asks. I remind him of the mountain of "undervotes" that is being set aside,
ballots where the chad is either hanging or dimpled. (Is it just me, or is all this chad
terminology starting to sound vaguely sexual? Hanging chad, dimpled chad, pregnant chad.
It’s like some cheesy porn flick starring a surfer dude with some sort of rare birth defects.)
I remind my friend that those undervotes are being set aside for Gore at a rate of 2-1
over Bush, and that if the courts rule that those votes be included in the final count,
Gore will win handily.
Another friend laments over the apparent media blackout of any coverage
that looks bad for Bush. The NAACP hearing where multiple allegations
of voter intimidation, police harrasment, and election law violations
were made; the lawsuit in Seminole County, where local election
officials acknowledge they allowed Republican campaign aides to correct errors
in thousands of applications for absentee ballots after they had been
signed and submitted, while at the same time letting Democratic absentee
ballots "pile up;" the total disregard of the 12th Amendment to the
Constitution, which states that electors are not allowed to cast their
votes for a Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate who reside in the
same state, thus mandating that Bush is not entitled to the 32 Texas
electoral votes he is being credited.
The list goes on and on. None of these things is being examined
in the media,
and my friend wants to know why. I tell him not to worry, that sooner or later,
the mounting evidence of voter fraud is going to get so big that there will be so
many places where the dam is springing leaks, the media will not be able to plug
them all, and so, to protect their own bought-and-paid-for asses, they’ll sacrifice
Bush to save themselves.
But I’ve got one friend who’s been really making me angry.
He says that we, the Democrats, are the ones who are breaking the law.
How? I ask him. He says that the Gore team had hundreds of overseas
ballots disqualified because they had no postmark and no witnessing
signature. "That’s petty," he says. That’s the law, I say, otherwise
folks who wanted to rig an election who shall remain nameless called the
GOP could just fill out a bunch of ballots and stuff them in with the
genuine ones that came from overseas.
Well, he says, maybe we’re not breaking the law, but we’re being
really unfair. How? I ask again. By pushing this Texas electoral issue.
We’re trying to disenfranchise the voters who legitimately voted for
Bush/Cheney in Texas, just because of a techinicality.
It’s not a technicality, I counter. It’s the United States
Constitution. And besides, I say, Bush and Cheney should’ve worried about that
before Cheney went running to Wyoming to change his voter registration.
My friend’s reply? "Face it – there’s a lot of weird shit in the Constitution,
and some of it is followed, and some of it isn’t. This is minor shit."
The United States Constitution, minor shit? I ask him. Well, if
the case, I suggest, then why not just throw out this whole electoral
college nonsense and award Gore the presidency. After all, he won the
popular vote. Better yet, I say, why not just throw out the Constitution
altogether if we’re going to be so half-assed about following it?
Yes, that’s it, we’ll just have one last election. I can see the slogan now:
Bill Clinton for benevolent dictator. It’s your last vote, so make it a good one.
Now he gets mad at me. Look, he says, if he’d just won his own
state, he would’ve won the election. Well, maybe if so many people
hadn’t voted for Nader, he would’ve won his state, I say. He sure as hell
would’ve won Arkansas, and that alone would’ve won him the election.
My friend voted for Nader,. Now he’s really mad at me.
Finally he gets right down to it. "The latest polls suggest that
losing patience, and I don’t blame them. He should concede by the weekend,
unless something comes up. And the lawyers are getting really boring."
So now we’re down to it. My friend is bored. He’s tired
of the whole thing.
He just wants it to be over so he can have some peace and quiet. That’s his price.
Well, I’ll tell you what. I don’t know about you-all, but I’m
it, too. I followed this election from a year-and-a-half ago, when the
candidates were bloodying each other before the primary season even got
underway. I had expected relief on election night. When CNN declared
Bush the winner, I was devastated, but at least it was over. I went to
bed, figuring I would need all my strength to deal with the Bush presidency.
But lo, when I woke up on November 8, I learned it was not yet over.
Part of me felt like a marathoner who, as she crosses the 26-mile line,
is told she’ll have to run another five miles. But the other part of
me held out hope. It wasn’t over yet, we still had a chance to win. So
fine, I said, I can hold on a little longer.
Yeah, I’m sick to death of all this. But it’s not my price.
My price is a lot higher than a little peace and quiet. My price
upholding the Constitution and the Voter Rights Act, which state that
every American has a right to vote. My price is not allowing political
thugs to steal an election so that they can put more money in their own
pockets at the expense of the rest of us. My price is using all legal
means necessary to prevent the GOP from accomplishing their coup.
My friend says this has to end now. Well, my question is why?
does it have to end? Just because people are getting tired of seeing it
on the TV every night? Because they’re tired of listening to James
Baker blather on, or because they’re sick of the look on Warren
How far do we want to take this, my friend rails at me.
How far do we want to take this? Well, I don’t know. What’s your price?
I'd like to offer one more comment on the "funny" ballots.
The GOP says, "If you're so stupid, that you misread the ballot and
accidentally vote for the wrong guy, you get what you deserve,"
This idea is so nuts, you'll know I thought it up.
Let's say your name is Bob.
Let's say you, Bob, know everything there is to know about donuts.
So, you quit your assistant manager's job at Donutland and open your own store.
You own "Bob's Donut Hut," a small business.
With me so far?
Ok, so you try to figure out what your customer sees when he walks
in the door.
So you put up a giant sign near the entrance that says,
"Order Donuts Here" at the left of the counter, and, at
the right of the counter,
you put up a sign that says, "Pay for and pick up your order here."
So you open the doors on the first day and Koresh-dammit, the
walks to the right and stands under the "Paid for" sign to order donuts.
Suddenly, you have a decision to make.
Any idiot with two brain cells to rub together knows they belong on the left,
but what do you do when the idiot public lines up to the right?
If you're going to remain in business, you have to understand
that most people
have Smirk for brains, and will line up on the right side of a "left-side only" line.
You have two choices:
Stick to your guns and win the argument or, accept the
fact that your sign
is somehow confusing people and try it again with a clearer sign.
Florida needs a re-vote.
Read the Previous
It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.
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