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Volume 1004 - Unemployed


 Weekend    February 22-23, 2003 

 Quotes

"Right now we are on the brink of global catastrophe. That's why eight million people
  around the world hit the streets, almost none of them actors, on Saturday. And that's why
  there is so much resistance to this. This is a manufactured war at this point. There has been
  a war on the people of Iraq since 1990. The plan to go into Iraq for hegemony over the region
  has been in play for a very long time and the ideologues in this administration want to go in.
   --Janeane Garofalo,  MSNBC


 Don't Blame Clinton for Bush's Problems

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 North Korea. Pyongyang's nuclear program was built up during the 1970s and '80s,
 and the plutonium possibly used to make one or two nuclear weapons was created
 before Clinton took office. It was Clinton -- taking a firm stand, as opposed to the
 current confused posture of the United States -- who froze North Korea's plutonium
 production operation. Were it not for Clinton's leadership, North Korea would have
 enough plutonium to make at least 50 nuclear bombs today.



 Quotes

"If you want young people to vote in this country and if you want the 50 percent
  of adults over 30 to vote in this country that do not vote in today's election,
  then we had better stand for something, because that's why they're not voting.
  Stand for something" or fall again to President Bush."
    --Howard Dean at a meeting of Democratic party activists


 Prediction:

 When President Happykill starts his oil war, Saddam will probably launch whatever weapons
 he has against Israel. He will also attempt to set fire to every oil well in Iraq.  ...and if he's not
 successful at setting fire to each well, the military will do it for him.

 It's just too perfect, because when every oil well in Iraq is destroyed or damaged,  America will
 need to hire somebody with oilfield equipment experience to get in there and repair thousands
 and thousands of wells to get the post-war rebuiling started, right?

 This, of course, will take a contract worth multi-billions of dollars. Also, since Russia
 and much of Europe depend on Iraqi oil, there will be bonuses paid for early completion.

 Flaw in the plan:
 In order for this to work, Bush and Cheney will need to find a company up to the job,
 which will be tough. I mean, where are they going to find a company that can go to Iraq
 and refit thousands of damaged oil wells that  ...what?   ...who?   ...Halliburton?  ...Really?

 Dick Cheney used to run an oil field equipment company that can do the job?

 What are the odds?

 This is another reason they're invading Saddam. The money Halliburton makes from this job
 would be reason enough for the B.F.E.E. to steal the presidency, but they won't stop there.

 We've got to think like the B.F.E.E. for a moment:

 Since Cheney sold the original equipment to Saddam, he knows each piece of equipment.
 He knows every pump, every weld. every pipe, every rig that Saddam has.

 They're not going to destroy ANY oil field equipment.

 They're going to CLAIM the thousands of wells were destroyed so Cheney can get
 Halliburton to bill the taxpayers for refitting thousands of wells that were not destroyed.

 NOW we're thinking like the B.F.E.E.
 Small-time crooks would ruin the wells and actually do the work.
 This way, they just submit a secret bill to the taxpayers for work never done.
 Cheney's as clever as Smirk is ignorant.

 They'll just claim the wells were destroyed, and with Cheney directing the rebuilding
 effort that's not really rebuilding anything, he'll insist on the bonus for "early completion,"
 so the B.F.E.E. can pockets tons more billions without doing any work at all.

 Mark this page, or at least remember that the unemployment issue is the one where
 Bart predicted the B.F.E.E would bill us for "well repairs" that never took place.  Somehow, they'll
 get caught, and the Democrats can be counted on to NOT investigate this trillion dollar ripoff
 because Mr Rove wouldn't like that.
 


 Whatever Mr Rove wants, Mr Rove gets.
 Dubya is a good man. He's my president.



Marty's E! page
Today is our good friend Nick's Crusade Day in Mobile, AL
Woo Hoo!
Reader Review of Bill Maher's 'Real Time' on HBO
Bill Clinton & Bono
George Clooney wants Americans to speak out
Doonesbury takes on Oregon's cash-strapped schools & the edjumacation prezeedent
Disney's trying to screw Pooh
(I've heard that about Disney...)
Sandy Koufax, Rupert Murdoch & an apology
Macy's selling Eminem's clothes
Smirk & Pickles hanging with a currently-arrested 'terrorist'

click


 Quotes

''Our 'president,' having lost the election by a half-million votes, has succeeded brilliantly
  in turning the whole world anti-American. In fact, the Supreme Court delivered the United
  States into the hands of the hard-right, imperialist, fundamentalist, death-penalty wing of
  the Republican Party (the president's ''base''). The administration has offended by its
  insensitivity, its arrogance and its cement-headed imperialism the ordinary people of
  Europe--including our English allies and, heaven save us all, the Irish. And the pope!
  Nice going, Mr. President!"
    --Andrew Greeley, No sympathy for American devil, suntimes.com


 Bart,

 I heard a news item yesterday about Bush  41 getting involved in a literacy project for Afghan women.
 Could it be that, after that CNN poll Wolf Blitzer did on Ronald Reagan's birthday showed Bill Clinton,
 of the last four former presidents, was the most admired by a country mile, that it may finally have
 sunk in to George H.W. Bush's patrician brain that people don't much admire ex-presidents who
 take $5 million payoffs from the Moonies, and shill for the Carlyle Group?

 So did Poppy decide a little image-polishing might be in order?

 DUH!! Ya think?

 Keep hammering, Bart!
 I await Bartcop Radio with bated breath!

 Ann from Philly



 Subject: Truth and Reality

 Thanks for stating the obvious!

 I'm truly amased at the way the media has been
 catagorized as liberal and the GOP get's away with it!

 Jack M. Jones
 geobat.com


 Quotes

"God is not in the business of protecting us from harm,
  and no amount of good behavior will keep us safe.
  For evidence of this, see the cross."
    --Barbara Brown Taylor, Episcopal priest



  The new Bill Maher HBO Show
   I can't say enough good things about his first show.

 First - they use the language most Americans use. This is very important.
 Not that I'm jonesing to hear the word "fuck," but when they say that word, it reminds you
 that you're hearing PURE political opinions. If they let you say that word, they'll let you say
"Bush is a drunken, blood-thirsty moron who has an insatiable hardon for war."

 That's all I want - pure opinions that aren't affected by the Republican sponsors.
 As you know, Maher was fired from his last job for saying something that whitey didn't like.
 Well, he'll one day fall to low ratings or burnout, but at least he won't be shut down for
 expressing an opinion different from that of Karl Rove.

 Does Bill Maher read  bartcop.com?

 It put me in such a good mood, I wasn't upset when Bill borrowed a little something.

 Live on Friday night, 10: 30 CST, Bill said, "New rule - no more whining about the French.
 At least they're standing up to Bush, which is more than we can say about the Democrats."
 

 From Friday's Volume 1003 - Bush bait & switch (posted nine hours earlier)

> Even the French are fighting the Illegal Moron more than the Democrats.

 It's OK, Bill.
 You can borrow anything you want - just use your powers for good, not evil.
 

 More from that show later in this issue.


 Bono Honored As 2003 MusiCares Person Of The Year

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bono did not take the red-carpet route circumventing the thickets of politics and bureaucracy.
 Nor did he preach to the converted. Rather, he converted the preachiest of conservative forces
 aligned against foreign aid and social change. He persuaded Bush to increase foreign aid spending
 by $5 billion. Right-wing senator Jesse Helms reversed his stand on AIDS funding after going a
 few rounds with Bono, who also massaged a new sensibility into Paul O'Neill during a trip to Africa.



  Quotes

"Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition,
  even though much of it came from the voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
    --Jon Stewart, on anti-war protests
 


 



 

 As you might've gathered from the title of today's issue,
 Unemployed, that's exactly the position I'm now in.

 It was the cushiest job I ever had (and one of the lowest-paying) and the end
 didn't come at the greatest time - I would rather have waited a little longer,
 but here's the short version of what happened:

 Our loan program was going crazy, which meant we needed a new program
 which might've required hundreds of hours of my time invested, and who has
 that kind of time when we're about to go to war with that Insane Gilligan in charge?

 So I told the boss that I perhaps needed to move on. He was OK with that, (which hurts :)
 He's looking forward to saving that hueueuege $28K he was paying me each year.

 The good news?  We are much closer now to  BartCop Radio.   I mean, it was always
 "in the pipeline," but now the pipeline has run out and we're ready to do the BartCop thing full-time.

 Woo Hoo!
 No more part-time hammer in a full-time war!

 Clarification:
 I don't have enough money to quit this job, but we're gaining subscribers at a rate
 that gives me confidence that the chasm can eventually be bridged, if that's a phrase.

 I'm getting help from Tommy Mack, BartCook and Cliff the Consumer Consumption dude.
 They are helping me with equipment, hardware, software, formatting and stuff.  I said
 "Give me some equipment and 30 days to play with it," and I'm ready. I could be outfitted
 in the next week or two so, swear to Koresh, we could be webcasting before you know it.

 Maybe we should target April 15th as a starting date.

 Isn't this exciting?

 Wish me luck, and consider joining the team!
 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
 Help make BartCop Radio an April thing, rather than a May-June thing.

 Is  bartcop.com  worth $5 a month?


 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $25 a month?


  Thanks to Bruce Yurgil

 They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to support BartCop Radio


 Quotes

"Our oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Wyoming, New Mexico, Alaska, etc.
  but all the dipsticks are in Washington, DC."
    --  Andy Rooney
 

 Thanks to Phyllis



 More from Bill Maher's HBO premier
  Watch for reruns, it'll run three more times on regular HBO.

"In case of a terrorist attack, you need to have these four itens:
  Duct tape, fresh water, a non-electric can opener and a battery-powered radio
  so you can tune in and hear Rush Limbaugh blame everything on Bill Clinton."
 

 Then something fantastic happened. You know how cool it is when someone says
 something so goddamn funny that you lose patience waiting for the oxygen to leave
 your lungs so you can gulp some more because you have more laughter in you to get out?

 They (Maher, Ann Slanders, Larry Miller and a black guy I didn't know named "Mike)
 were talking about affirmative action which Ann is violently against because that means
 a black person might end up with a piece of the pie.

 Well, guess who walks out?  He wasn't billed, he just walked on (I'm sure it was planned)
 Chris Rock, the funniest man on the planet.

 He didn't even sit down, he was just there a moment, but he launched into Slanders.

 "Are you fucking the president?
  What the fuck is wrong with you? Trying to stop affirmative action?
  A hundred years ago, they fucking lynched blacks for trying to read books,
  and all these years later you're STILL trying to hold us back?"

 I thought I was gonna die.
 Chris Rock was bitch-slapping the bitch who needs it the most.

 Damn, it makes me want to get BartCop radio flying just as soon as possible.
 Please God, let me get it up before the bombs start dropping.
 Hell, when there's big-time breaking news, we may have to blow off whatever
 scheduling we have and just suddenly go to the hot microphone to be in on the moment.

 Isn't this exciting?

 I know Maher's show can't be this good every week, but knowing it might be
 is what makes HBO on Friday night at 11:30 EST must-see TV.


 The Vidiot is pissed again

  Click  Here



 So I called the unholy bastards at SBC and told them to disconnect my DSL
 since my cable modem was working faster and cheaper.  The woman says,
"We could've given you that DSL for $35 a month," so I said,
"So why the hell didn't you? You charged me $50 for over three years!"

 She said "You have to ask for the new rate," the slut. Like I have time to call
 every utility every month to ask if I can get my contracted-for fees lowered.

 American business greed will screw every customer for every dime they can.
 And when they get caught, they say, "Golly Gee! How did that happen?"

 You know what really pisses me off?  When you work for one of these
 conglomerate monsters, they give you this clumsy handjob about how
 "The customer is king," and "Remember, he's our boss."

 Handjobs is what it was.

 The year Elvis died I worked at Arby's.
 They had a poster on the wall that each employee had to sign.
 It was a list of reasons why customers don't come back.

 At the top, it said, "One percent of our customers die." Then (making this up)
"Four percent move away, eight percent do 'X' and 'Y,' " then at the bottom, it said,
"Forty percent don't come back because they felt they got screwed," and then
 they'd give us a list of ways to screw the customer out of an extra penny with each visit.

 SBC could've kept my business for years and years, but they wanted to screw me MUCH
 more than they wanted to give me a fair deal at a fair price.  I can see screwing the customer
 to maximize profits, I can see lying to the customer to squeeze anooooooooooooooother nickle
 out of him, but why lie to ourselves?

 Why bother with the stupid "The customer is king," crappola since everybody knows
 American business will screw you like f-ing Enron if they can just get away with it.

 So, let's get revenge.
 Call your internet service provider today and tell them you're thinking about leaving them
 and see if they don't drop your rate by $15 a month, the unholy bastards.

 Call your long distance provider today and tell them you're thinking about leaving them
 and see if they don't drop your rate by $15 a month, the greedy huns.

 If it works, you could subscribe to  bartcop.com  and keep the difference.
 It's a win-win for us and a lose-lose for the greedy, Republican-owned mega-conglomerates.



 Outrage of the Week
  From Saturday's Capital Gang

 NOVAK: Narco guerrillas now say they are holding and may kill three U.S. intelligence operatives
 whose electronic surveillance plane crashed in Colombia. An American colleague and a Colombian
 army sergeant were murdered after the crash.

 The U.S. government has said nothing about the four government contract employees.

 Questions, why did the plane crash?
 Why were they flying a single-engine plane with no chase plane?

 The U.S. government acts as though it wants to forget this incident, indeed, forget Plan Colombia,
 which is costing American taxpayers $2.2 billion without suppressing the drug-financed insurrection.

 AL HUNT: Mark, I am uncomfortably pro-choice on abortion. My attitude shifts slightly
 depending on the focus. But Dennis Kucinich's transformation this week was breathtaking.

 The Ohio Democrat, pro-life his entire congressional career, upon declaring his presidential candidacy,
 suddenly decided he was pro- choice, a more popular posture with Democratic voters.

 Congressman Kucinich says his candidacy, his presidential candidacy, is based on his principles
 against a war in Iraq. I wonder if those principles also could be vulnerable to public opinion.
 

 I liked Kucinich until I learned he was 100 percent anti-abortion due to his staunch Catholicism.
 That meant he was totally incapable of getting the Demo nomination.

 Then, according to Hunt, he turned on a dime, just like George Herbert Herbert Bush did in 1980.
 Bush was always pro-choice (remember, his daddy helped start Planned Parenthood) until Reagan
 offered him the VP spot. Bush suddenly said, "Fuck those women," and turned anti-choice.

 If this is true (we can't trust Al Hunt) at least Kucinich turned towards women, not against them,
 but the wall-to-wall Nazi bastards on AM hate radio will crucify him for changing his stance.
 (Of course, they won't mention Poppy's flip-flop - we never hear the truth from the AM radio)


 Quotes

"Now we know the price of the on-the-job training in the Oval Office.
  We used to have peace and prosperity. We put a guy in there who
  wasn't experienced or qualified, and look what happened."
      --Paul Begala, Crossfire, 02/21/03


 Considering what Bush and the B.F.E.E. has done to the Defense Department,
 wouldn't it be more honest (ha ha - this is the B.F.E.E.) to change the name
 back to the "War Department?"

 What we're doing to Iraq, the Philippines and all the 'coming soon' countries
 is simply waging war because they can't stop us, so why not call it what it is?

 Under Rummy and that crazy Wolfowitz character, it's changed into the f-ing
 WAR DEPARTMENT, and it has nothing to do with Defense.

 This is like the handjob I got from SBC.
 Why are we lying to ourselves?



  Be sure and check out the latest assault on the vulgar Pigboy.

  Click  Here  to see what Take Back the Media did to him (chortle-chortle)


 Quotes

"... what that little compact disk said, that CD, that they gotta have an enemy, keep America
  thinking about it all the time. But I think a lot of them really believe that the Iraqis would be
  better off without him and could handle it. That's my instinct too, by the way. My instinct is
  that the Iraqis will do pretty well when he's gone. It's just that we can't go around deposing
  people without global support. We just can't do it. Every African leader I know wants Mugabe
  of Zimbabwe gone. But they'd be mad if we sent fifty thousand soldiers to depose him."
    --Bill Clinton, interview with The Atlantic Monthly, University of Arkansas, October 21, 2002
 

 Note: I assume he's talking about Karl Rove's message to the GOP that was found.
           It said they should use the never-ending war to their political advantage,
           and President Happykill does everything Karl tells him to do.



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 Quotes

"We have the responsibility to support our President in time of conflict"
   --Jerry Falwell, (R-Lying bastard) 2/20/03
 

  Jerry, you didn't feel that way from January 20, 1993 - January 20, 2001.
  What changed your mind, Reverend?

  Could it be petty partisan politics?
  Is that the way God taught you to play the game?



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